I Think One Of The Things That Annoys Me The Most On The Safe Space Post I Made Is People Barging In

I think one of the things that annoys me the most on the safe space post I made is people barging in to try to dictate how people can find respite, where, and how much respite they're allowed, and why.

"Oh its fine to take a break as long as you don't take too long and immediately launch back into activism again until your next burnout!"

No.

Respectfully; fuck all the way off.

"Yes!! Recharging is so important so you can keep being a good activist!!"

Who asked you? Who declared you Assigner of Respite Rights?

When I was at my worst in terms of mental health, I went a good two years doing absolutely fuck all for the rest of the world. I could barely get out of bed every morning, you can bet I wasn't doom-scrolling war articles and organising charity drives for the homeless.

I was one of the many, many people in the world that needed help.

And as I recovered, activism and fighting for other people were the literal last things on my mind. If they started talking about shootings on the radio I turned it off. If my friends started talking about the latest Worldwide Horror I asked them to stop or I left.

I'm better now, and I made the personal choice to re-engage with activism in the best ways for myself, and I've made the choice to only be an activist when I feel like I can properly be one.

Some people might never get to that point. There are billions of people in the world. Stop screaming at individuals who are tired and broken and need help themselves. Stop assigning blame to the wrong people.

That's not activism or justice knighting.

Its bullying.

ok I’ll be honest, I was one of the people who approached your safe space post with the mindset “yeah, but…” like, I now whole-heartedly agree that there should absolutely be fandom spaces devoid of real world issues. We all need our spaces to rest and relax. I think I just felt weird about your post because previously ive been in fandom spaces which did operate on the (perfectly fine) rule of ‘no politics’…but ‘politics’ would also include talking about a gay ship or any queer headcannons.

That obviously wasn’t fair to you because you obviously didn’t mean that w/ your post, but I can personally see as to why some people would feel that way if they were in similar fandom spaces. I do still want to reiterate I do agree with your post and I think some of the rebloggers took it…a bit far? Like Jesus Christ some of y’all need to eat a snickers. I also think some of the wording like “bitching about world issues” and “whining about their shitty parents” might’ve thrown me off but that’s not your fault and really a non-issue 🤷🏽‍♀️

you can delete this ask if you want I really won’t mind, I think I can just see as to why there were so many ‘yeah, but…’ rebloggers.

I actually really appreciate asks like this. For a multitude of reasons, but also because it gives really good insight and outer perspective for both me and other people who are aware of or involved in the discussion.

I think what a lot of people don't yet grasp about me is that while I may hold an opposing view to yours (general, not directed), in the vast majority of cases I still very much understand why people would think the way they do and where that thought process comes from and goes.

Its very, very easy to fall into the mindset of thinking that not helping when you have the ability to makes you a bad person or however in/directly causes suffering. Its very easy to be in the mindset of one single individual making a magnitude of difference.

I fully and genuinely understand and comprehend a lot of the points being brought up.

I just don't agree with them and hold a different outlook on those issues.

For example:

Talking about enjoying a queer ship to me is not 'political' in the sense that, personally, if you're a homophobe and upset by generic conversations about queer people, I really could not give a fuck. And if you raise objections to me talking about two dudes kissing, I'm simply going to remove you from my space because clearly it is not beneficial for either of us to share it. And I made it.

Its obviously very very much down to personal discretion to decide where that line is and what that bracket encompasses, but I think the most universal aspect of that safe space post was trying to get people to understand that forcing others to suffer in solidarity isn't activism and that strangers are not obligated to allow you to use them as support and a dumping ground for your needs.

Spreading around videos of people's dead loved ones isn't activism.

Spamming taglines and buzzwords on completely unrelated posts and videos isn't activism.

Relying on complete strangers for emotional and mental support and regulation while dumping vulnerable, graphic, personal information on them is neither safe nor healthy.

People are not obligated to smother or confine their happiness because of your misery. If you're having a bad day you have no right to tell other people they can't be happy in front of you.

A lot of people, mostly white knighters and people of color took the post as "a white privileged pig saying its okay to let racism slide because you want to play your video games" (actual hate mail I received) and that's so laughably and wildly far from the actual basis of the post.

I've had bigots in my servers before. Homophobes or racists who've slipped through the cracks.

You know what happens when they say something homophobic or racist?

They're immediately removed, blocked and reported, and their information is placed in a private document I keep. I issue an apology to the members of the server for their actions, and life goes on.

People are, of course, entitled to take the post as they see fit. They're entitled to their own perspectives and opinions. I'm more than happy to simply focus on the people who have taken support, guidance and solace in the post.

I saw your post about loving to read stories of reformed people. Autobiography of a Recovering Skinhead: The Frank Meeink Story as Told to Jody M. Roy, Ph.D is about just that. It's extremely rough in some parts (both what people do to the author and what he does to others).

It's amazing at showing how people end up in hate groups and how as a society we can prevent it. The author now does anti nazi work all over the US.

If anyone has any other recommendations for videos, movies, literature, ect about personal reformation and growth, please feel free to share them.

The whole world is burning and nobody benefits if you set yourself on fire in solidarity.

Loving that we went from worshipping Vhagar as a regal old granny who was just trying to sleep to vying for her blood because she keeps chomping our favorite dragons.

Is it true that some crimes can be worse than the other crimes?

This has to be bait.