I've Been In This State Way Too Long

I've been in this state way too long

pov you're waiting for your daydreams/paracosms to get interesting again

A few things people with maladaptive daydreaming really wished you knew but we just can't tell you:

(Some of these are just from my experience and may not apply to everyone)

Don't be offended if we zone out during a conversation. Lots of things trigger us and sometimes in even the most interesting conversations we can't help but imagine what our paras are doing right now, or what we'll daydream about next.

DO👏NOT👏INTERRUPT👏US👏WHEN👏WE'RE 👏IN👏THE👏MIDDLE👏OF👏A👏DAYDREAM👏 long story short, the feeling of anger and absolute rage is so intense we literally want to snap your spine. The only reason we don't is because then that would mean we'd have to wait even longer to return to the daydream.

Certain songs may make us feel a certain way. We use songs to trigger certain daydreams, so certain music will touch us more than the average person. For example if someone played the song our para died too, we would almost feel like it's happening again. It's a bit like someone playing a song that was at a loved ones funeral, but worse.

Dating is hard for us. It's common for madders to have para lovers and so when it comes to dating we may feel like we're betraying our para.

Our daydreams are as complicated and intense as Harry Potter. We come up with some pretty dramatic stuff, which helps us cope with real life trauma. This is also why we're so creative.

Time flies for us. We get so immersed in our daydreams that sometimes up to 5 or 6 hours can pass and we don't notice. It's common for us to stop daydreaming and realise we've gone a whole day without eating, drinking, going to the toilet, or that our feet are almost bleeding from pacing so much.

We can't just stop. It may seem that simple, but the truth is, It's an addiction and a coming mechanism. When traumatic events happen in the real world, we use our daydreams to deal with it. Events such as our loved ones passing away may cause familiar events to happen in our paracosms. Even I've noticed that during 2020 my daydreams have become more traumatic (for example more paras have been getting hurt or even killed, and the relationships between my paras are more complicated).

8. Writing this was hard because I kept falling into a daydream.

“Aside from myself, there was no sign of me.” ― Nicole Krauss

1.Rumi | 2.Holly Warburton | 3.Maggie Stiefvater | 4.Fyodor Dostoyevsky | 5.Nickie Zimov | 6.Clarice Lispector | 7.Nigel Van Wieck | 8.Georgia O’Keeffe | 9.Andrew Wyeth | 10.Mary Oliver | 11.Ilenia Tesoro | 12.Sylvia Plath | 13.Walt Whitman | 14.Nickie Zimov | 15.Jean-Paul Sartre | 16.Lydia Roberts | 17.Natalie Wee | 18.Lew Thomas | 19.Albert Camus

Proposed diagnostic criteria for Daydreaming Disorder (Maladaptive Daydreaming)

A. Persistent and recurrent fantasy activity that is vivid and fanciful as indicated by the individual exhibiting 2 (or more) of the following in a 6-month period. At least one of these should include criterion (1):

While daydreaming, experiences an intense sense of absorption/immersion that includes visual, auditory or affective properties.

Daydreaming is triggered, maintained or enhanced with exposure to music.

Daydreaming is triggered, maintained or enhanced with exposure to stereotypical movement (e.g., pacing, rocking, hand movements).

Often daydreams when feels distressed, or bored.

Daydreaming intensity and length intensify in the absence of others (e.g., daydreams more when alone).

Is annoyed when unable to daydream or when daydreaming is interrupted or curbed.

Would rather daydream than engage in daily chores, social, academic or professional activities.

Has made repeated unsuccessful efforts to control, cut back, or stop daydreaming.

B. The disturbance causes clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning. 

C. The disturbance is not due to the direct physiological effects of a substance (e.g., a drug of abuse, a medication) or a general medical condition (e.g., dementia) and is not better explained by another disorder, e.g., Autism Spectrum Disorders, Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder, Schizophrenia Spectrum Disorders, Bi-Polar I Disorder, Obsessive-Compulsive and Related Disorders, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Substance related and Addictive Disorders, an Organic Disorder or Medical Condition. 

Specify current severity:

Mild: Experiences mainly distress, no obvious functional impairment. 

Moderate: One area of functioning is affected (e.g., work). 

Severe: More than one area of functioning is affected (e.g., work, school or social life).

Me: I want a friend, I'm so alone... ;-;

Also me: I don't want any friends, what if they just befriended me out of empathy? What if I did something which would make them hate me? I'd rather be alone in my own universe with my para friends.

me: hey... so I have this mental illness in which i dissociate about fake universes and people to the point that i only feel happy or alive when im in that universe and it actually feels more real than reality, and i prefer it over reality, i love my paras more than any real person i know and i would rather die then not have this disorder even though i can barely function, maintain relationships, or even get/maintain a stable job... i feel like i am a shell that just houses these people/worlds and that earth is not my home and i'm restrained phisically to a world and body/face i dont belong to. i am very disconnected from the world/people, and sometimes i pace until my feet hurt really bad, and i might go deaf cause i listen to music at such a high volume, i feel generally apathetic around real people, madd makes me so emotional. sometimes my daydreams are so gross and messed up it traumatizes me and i can't control it and it goes on and on... and i know if i went to a therapist they'll just tell me i'm psychotic and not be able to really help cause this is not very known about and i'll probably only be able to get diagnosed or get help in like 20 years cause there's not enough research, and i wanna die, i feel so alien and nobody is taking this seriously because barely anyone knows what it is....it's called maladaptive daydreaming....

some rando from tiktok or something: OMG i am TOTTALY a maladaptive daydreamer, i daydream so much. like, whenever im in the shower, i win fake arguments omg. its so fun lol. i thought i was the only one. I'm so QUirKy, it's a really good coping mechanism lol owo uwu i love my ~original characters~

me: uhh.. that's not-

*sigh* you know what? good for you ://