Maladaptive Daydreaming - Tumblr Posts
Sometimes I just realise that the only reason I stay alive is so that I can daydream.
Constantly daydreaming of what could have been, a better time, a better life altogether
Me: *wants to watch YouTube videos*
Me: *can only watch YouTube videos on my laptop so that I can pretend I'm a youtuber doing a reaction video and I can get that dramatic click on the spacebar ever 5 seconds*
Me: *turning to the side* "alright guys, so this dude clearly has nooo idea what he's talking about. So here's what I think 'aight..."
*5 seconds into human contact*
Yea, that should just about do it for a few months, *daydreams*
Just saying...
Please do not interact unless you have experienced any form of trauma or abuse and/or experience mental illness, especially with maladaptive daydreaming.
I do not want people re-blogging or commenting on posts (mainly) about MaDD saying stuff like "omg, this is so me because I like to pretend ___ every once in a while". Or "oh, I'm just so imaginative like this".
Like, shut up. Shut up. It's not fun living like this. It hurts. Especially after going on for aeons thinking the daydreams were helping, but I get to a point of realising that it's not, and it's not okay. I'm not okay.
*staring at a wall, all wide-eyed and shit taking in the music and listening to an elf rambling on about his rock collection*
"interesting...
I'm never going to get round to that assignment am I?"
Me @ my paras.
i wish you were with me right now i want a 2 hour long hug
At least I have my paras...
i constantly break my own heart by thinking i mean more to someone than i actually do
The FBI agent in my computer watching me silent scream-cry whilst I pull my hair out, staring at my college work for hours on end every day for the past 6 months before I start talking to myself and frantically pacing then freezing in a daydream attack: 👁️👄👁️
When someone catches me in the middle of a full on pacing, talking to myself, making facial expressions MaDD episode
Text reads: "I've been trying so hard to stop myself from having these episodes from this condition for so long now but today it REALLY needs to come out and I'm so scared of everything and everyone at the moment and I just need to dissappear into my head but I can't talk to you about it because you refuse to believe or even listen to me because you don't understand, and you don't want to understand, but you need to know that I physically cannot function right now".
Sorry, I know it's blurry aha
Me: going about my day in my paracosm, noticing a new face slowly start appearing more and more
Me: okay, guess there's a new para moving in, okay I -
*starts having tics*
"oh NO"
Where do I cancel my membership for my MADD, 'cause shit is getting wild??!
I'm so scared of people catching me making facial expressions while I'm in my own little world, I can't help it, yet I don't want to people to judge me.
Sometimes I wonder if one day I'll just stop daydreaming and if everything I imagined will stop being a part of my life...
I feel like my paras have received more love in the past minute than me in my entire life
Does anyone have any advice on how I can tell my mom that I may be dealing with MADD?
Do people around me notice that I may have MADD and just decide to not say anything or do they really not notice? Cause if they do,,,
Let it go~
Let it go~
I don't wanna deal with my own bullshit anymore~