Coping Methods - Tumblr Posts

IMPORTANT:

This is a proshipper blog. I use shipping (and sometimes headcanons) as a way of coping with my trauma. This may result in me posting some problematic, uncomfortable, or undesirable content. I WILL put TW's on my posts, but I wanted to make it clear that my content may be triggering or uncomfortable for some people.

yes i know i like that trope bc of some deep psychological trauma crap i do not care it makes me happy why can’t you let me be happy please let me be happy i am depressed individual and i need the fictional characters to get away okay

A few things people with maladaptive daydreaming really wished you knew but we just can't tell you:

(Some of these are just from my experience and may not apply to everyone)

Don't be offended if we zone out during a conversation. Lots of things trigger us and sometimes in even the most interesting conversations we can't help but imagine what our paras are doing right now, or what we'll daydream about next.

DO👏NOT👏INTERRUPT👏US👏WHEN👏WE'RE 👏IN👏THE👏MIDDLE👏OF👏A👏DAYDREAM👏 long story short, the feeling of anger and absolute rage is so intense we literally want to snap your spine. The only reason we don't is because then that would mean we'd have to wait even longer to return to the daydream.

Certain songs may make us feel a certain way. We use songs to trigger certain daydreams, so certain music will touch us more than the average person. For example if someone played the song our para died too, we would almost feel like it's happening again. It's a bit like someone playing a song that was at a loved ones funeral, but worse.

Dating is hard for us. It's common for madders to have para lovers and so when it comes to dating we may feel like we're betraying our para.

Our daydreams are as complicated and intense as Harry Potter. We come up with some pretty dramatic stuff, which helps us cope with real life trauma. This is also why we're so creative.

Time flies for us. We get so immersed in our daydreams that sometimes up to 5 or 6 hours can pass and we don't notice. It's common for us to stop daydreaming and realise we've gone a whole day without eating, drinking, going to the toilet, or that our feet are almost bleeding from pacing so much.

We can't just stop. It may seem that simple, but the truth is, It's an addiction and a coming mechanism. When traumatic events happen in the real world, we use our daydreams to deal with it. Events such as our loved ones passing away may cause familiar events to happen in our paracosms. Even I've noticed that during 2020 my daydreams have become more traumatic (for example more paras have been getting hurt or even killed, and the relationships between my paras are more complicated).

8. Writing this was hard because I kept falling into a daydream.

Why "doing something relaxing” does not help your anxiety

A lot of the time when people give advice intended to relieve anxiety, they suggest doing “relaxing” things like drawing, painting, knitting, taking a bubble bath, coloring in one of those zen coloring books, or watching glitter settle to the bottom of a jar.

This advice is always well-intentioned, and I’m not here to diss people who either give it or who benefit from it. But it has never, ever done shit for me, and this is because it goes about resolving anxiety in the completely wrong way.  

THE WORST THING YOU CAN DO when suffering from anxiety is to do a “relaxing” thing that just enables your mind to dwell and obsess more on the thing that’s bothering you. You need to ESCAPE from the dwelling and the obsession in order to experience relief.

You can drive to a quiet farm, drive to the beach, drive to a park, or anywhere else, but as someone who has tried it all many, many times, trust me–it’s a waste of gas. You will just end up still sad and stressed, only with sand on your butt. You can’t physically escape your sadness. Your sadness is inside of you. To escape, you need to give your brain something to play with for a while until you can approach the issue with a healthier frame of mind. 

People who have anxiety do not need more time to contemplate, because we will use it to contemplate how much we suck.

In fact, you could say that’s what anxiety is–hyper-contemplating. When we let our minds run free, they run straight into the thorn bushes. Our minds are already running, and they need to be controlled. They need to be given something to do, or they’ll destroy everything, just like an overactive husky dog ripping up all the furniture. 

Therefore, I present to you: 

THINGS YOU SHOULD NOT DO WHEN ANXIOUS

–Go on a walk

–Watch a sunset, watch fish in an aquarium, watch glitter, etc.

–Go anywhere where the main activity is sitting and watching

–Draw, color, do anything that occupies the hands and not the mind

–Do yoga, jog, go fishing, or anything that lets you mentally drift 

–Do literally ANYTHING that gives you great amounts of mental space to obsess and dwell on things.

THINGS YOU SHOULD DO WHEN ANXIOUS:

–Do a crossword puzzle, Sudoku, or any other mind teaser game. Crosswords are the best.

–Write something. It doesn’t have to be a masterpiece. Write the Top 10 Best Restaurants in My City. Rank celebrities according to Best Smile. Write some dumb Legolas fanfiction and rip it up when you’re done. It’s not for publication, it’s a relief exercise that only you will see. 

–Read something, watch TV, or watch a movie–as long as it’s engrossing. Don’t watch anything which you can run as background noise (like, off the top of my head, Say Yes to The Dress.) As weird as it seems, American Horror Story actually helps me a lot, because it sucks me in. 

–Masturbate. Yes, I’m serious. Your mind has to concentrate on the mini-movie it’s running. It can’t run Sexy Titillating Things and All The Things That are Bothering Me at the same time. (…I hope. If it can, then…ignore this one.) 

–Do math problems—literally, google “algebra problems worksheet” and solve them. If you haven’t done math since 7th grade this will really help you. I don’t mean with math, I mean with the anxiety. 

–Play a game or a sport with someone that requires great mental concentration. Working with 5 people to get a ball over a net is a challenge which will require your brain to turn off the Sadness Channel. 

–Play a video game, as long as it’s not something like candy crush or Tetris that’s mindless. 

THINGS YOU SHOULD DO DURING PANIC ATTACKS ESPECIALLY:

–List the capitals of all the U.S. states

–List the capitals of all the European countries

–List all the shapes you can see. Or all the colors. 

–List all the blonde celebrities you can think of.

–Pull up a random block of text and count all the As in it, or Es or whatever.  

Now obviously, I am not a doctor. I am just an anxious person who has tried almost everything to help myself.  I’ve finally realized that the stuff people recommend never works because this is a disorder that thrives on free time and free mental space. When I do the stuff I listed above, I can breathe again. And I hope it helps someone here too. 

(Now this shouldn’t have to be said but if the “do nots” work for you then by all means do them. They’ve just never worked for me.)

Does anyone know any songs about one-sided love or being in love with your best friend or "I want to break up but still be friends."? I've been having some really big friendship/relationship problems for a few months now and what do I do with my problems? I make a coping playlist about them and cry myself to sleep every night. :) /j (mostly)

So far my playlist consists of:

You Belong With Me (Taylor Swift)

One Last Time (Ariana Grande)

She Said No (BoyWithUke)

happier (Olivia Rodrigo)

This is my first break up and I just feel so worthless in life right now. Please comment songs like these. 🙏

❥﹒♡﹒☕﹒ 𝗵𝗼𝘄 𝘁𝗼 𝗿𝗲𝗰𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝗮 𝗯𝘂𝗿𝗻𝗼𝘂𝘁; this is my personal way of coping with burnout, it may not work for you, but feel free to share in the comments the things that make you feel better when you feel this way ( blogger's note at the end of the post ).

𝟭. recognize the signs ( 🏳️ )

the moment of denial is over. i know, burnouts always come at the worst times when you have upcoming exams and a thousand things to do, but ignoring it won't get you anywhere, on the contrary, it will only prolong the worst, so recognizing and accepting the signs of burnout is the first step to getting out of it. if you don't end it, it'll end you, right? some common symptoms of burnout are exhaustion, excessive irritability, hormonal imbalances, change in appetite (too much or too little), sleep irregularities, increase in nervous tics.

𝟮. take time off ( 🫧 )

allow yourself to rest and recharge by taking a break from work or other stressors. depending on the severity of the burnout you may need an afternoon, or perhaps a couple of days to recover, it's not important, the important thing is that you reserve some deep rest that can really recharge you to start studying/working again. put off all non-essential tasks, put your phone on do not disturb mode and allow your brain to rest. if you have slept little in the previous days, taking a nap will not be bad.

𝟯. set boundaries + practice self care ( 🌱 )

establish clear boundaries between work and personal life to prevent burnout from reoccurring. prioritize activities that promote physical and mental well-being, such as exercise, meditation, and hobbies. i personally love taking care of my body doing beauty treatments that make me feel better about myself. i also deep clean my room and change my bedsheets, if it's true that the mess in our room is a reflection of the mess in our mind i can't see why it can't go both ways: removing the mess from my room is like cleaning my head from the stress in it.

𝟰. rearrange priorities ( 🐝 )

delegate everything you can delegate, you can't do everything alone and it's normal to seek support from colleagues and family. reorganize yourself so you have a plan to follow as soon as you recharge your batteries. ask yourself what led to burnout, was it the workload? in that case breaking it into smaller tasks could make it less onerous. maybe it was it's difficulty? maybe asking for help or using some time for additional research might work. in short, prepare a realistic scheme to follow to tackle the task.

𝟱. seek support ( ❣️ )

talk to friends, family, or a therapist about your feelings and experiences to gain perspective and emotional support.

𝗯𝗹𝗼𝗴𝗴𝗲𝗿'𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗲 hi everyone, it's no secret that i've posted very little in the last week, but unfortunately i experienced a bad burnout that incapacitated me for a few days. family circumstances, academic stress and the arrival of spring have added up to take away the strength to do anything from me, but i'm here to recover and here is a simple guide that i always follow when i find myself in these situations. on the one hand i'm happy tho, it's my first burnout since i started university, eight months ago now, i remember that when i was in high school they were much more frequent and long, i feel i've become much more stable.

You know what realization I didn't need at 01:17 in the morning?

All of my acting skills (either self taught, learned, or natural) work as a defense mechanism.

..... damnit. There goes my happy mood .....