The Kanes Are Sick Of This B.S Pt 7

The Kanes are sick of this B.S Pt 7

*The demigods, einharjar, and magicians sit in a cheaply-made theater, spotlights everywhere*

Grover: Are you sure this will work, dude?

Percy: If it worked for us, I think it can work for them.

*Suddenly, the brother and sister duo burst on stage, singing*

Carter: I keep my head down, I keep my chin up!

Sadie: But it all ends with strife!

Both: WITH "PACK YOUR BAGS, KANE KIDS! TO THE HOUSE OF LIIIIIFE!"

Carter: I NEVER TRY TO DO ANYTHING!!!

Sadie: I NEVER MEANT TO HOST AAAANY GODS!!!

Both: I SWEAR, I SWEAR I'M A MAGICIAN!!! MAGICIAN!! WHO'S HAD A BAD RUN!!!

*A grand applause is heard from the theater goers, the demigods included*

Annabeth: Uncle Rick's gonna kill us for this, isn't he?

Percy: Yep.

Annabeth: Sweet. WOOOO, KANES!!!

Now I'm just imagining Luke's mom beating the living fuck out of Hermes with a plate of burnt cookies while Martha and George nervously watch in the corner

where’s my percy jackson au where the mortal parents of the demigods Take No Shit from the gods they had kids with?

like when poseidon shows up to percy’s birthday in the fourth book, sally just slaps the shit out of him. (paul is supportive from a safe distance)

aphrodite visits piper’s dad at a coffee shop. he stares at her for three seconds, then turns back to his phone because he has a daddy-daughter surf day planned and he just…doesn’t have time for this bullshit.

apollo visits will solace’s mom, her wife lectures him for two hours, then makes him take the dog out for a walk while she goes grocery shopping.

katie gardner’s mom actually has a restraining order against demeter.

the last time ares tried to visit clarisse’s dad, he chased him off his property with a nail gun.

I’m proud of you

You know, when you think about it like that, it’s really beautiful because you have RDJ, a man with a history of drug abuse who everyone thought was washed up and was never going to make a come back. Then, not only does he prove that he can act with Iron Man, not only does he start up the MCU, not only does he make the character completely his own and bring Iron Man back to popularity, but he shows the world that any actor, no matter their past, looks, background, fame or lack of fame, can create an impact on hundreds and when people think of a certain character, the actor’s portrayal will probably be the first thing they think of. Right after, you see different actors taking on roles you didn’t think would actually be good. A comedic actor leading a fun action movie about ants. A young unknown child actor delivering what many consider to be the best Spiderman performance. The oddest ensemble of actors making a comedic space adventure their own and showing that superhero movies can be fun. And in the end, it’s all thanks to RDJ & Marvel’s faith in them.

Mark Ruffalo talking about RDJ

ME:

[STRONG CURSING/LANGUAGE]

the war against gaea is actually won with leo’s true fire power: some good ‘ol dirty spanish cursing

I won’t translate what Leo’s saying but let’s just say Sammy is turning over in his grave

The Kanes are sick of this BS Pt 6

*As the movie ends and the mortals leave, the demigods/magicians/immortals simply look on in silence*

Percy: SEE! WE TOLD YOU! BUT YOU COULDN'T JUST LISTEN, COULD YOU!!!

Grover: AND NOW YOU'RE STUCK WITH A MOVIE LIKE THIS!!!

Annabeth: A MOVIE THAT IS COMPLETELY, 100 percent-

Magnus: That's it?

*The three turn to look at him*

Percy: What?

Magnus: That's the big danger you guys were talking about?

Jason: I mean, it was bad, don't get me wrong. It was really bad, but it wasn't like the worst thing ever.

Percy: WHAT?! BUT THAT WAS ONE OF THE WORST ADAPTATIONS EVER!!!

Horus: Yes, that is true. It lost the humor our adventures had-

Walt: It got a LOOOOOOOT of stuff wrong like getting our personalities wrong. The acting doesn't exactly help.

Leo: And it is pretty much just like every other bland adaptation nowadays.

Piper: But it's not like it's the worst adaptation ever, guys.

Percy: But...but...

Nico: And besides, can you really say that THIS was the worst book-to-film movie ever?

*Images of Stephanie Meyer films float in the trio's minds as they sigh*

Percy: They're right.

Annabeth: As sucky as this is, as dumb as it is, as bad as it is...

Grover: It's not...THE worst. *More uplifted* Right, guys?

Sadie: *Bluntly* Nah, that was shit.

Carter: No idea what you guys are talking about.

Octavian: Am I the only one who liked it?

Nico: Didn't we kill you?!

*The two chase each other out of the theater as the Kanes notice someone talking at the front of the theater*

Random girl in the theater: Mommy, can we got to the library? This was cool and I wanna see if they have the books!

*The magician siblings look down and smile, happy that they at least inspired someone*

Carter: But...is there a way for us to make a better adaptation?

Percy: *Smiling* There is one way.

To be continued...