The Kanes Are Sick Of This Bs - Tumblr Posts
The Kanes are sick of this B.S Pt 1
Carter: THAT'S IT! I'M SICK OF THIS!
Percy: Sick of what?
Carter: I've been around just as long as Percy & yet me & the other magicians still don't get as much recognition!!!
Percy: Dude, that's not true! So many people remembered the time you....or how you...
Sadie: Exactly! We've been doing this for too long and there's only one way for the tables to be flipped!
Jason: Go on more adventures?
Magnus: Call Rick up?
Percy: Mess around on Tumblr?
Sadie: No, no, and god no!
Carter: We're gonna do the big thing that helped Percy gain his recognition!
Percy: Blow schools up?
Carter: WE'RE TAKING OUR STORIES TO THE BIG SCREEN!
Percy: Wait, what?!
Sadie: That's right! WE'RE MAKING A MOVIE!!!!
*The Kanes walk out dramatically!*
Magnus: *Confused & worried* ....They're doomed, right?
*Percy faints*
Magnus: I'll take that as a yes.
*To be continued*
The Kanes are sick of this B.S Pt 2
Director: OKAY, CUT! We shoot the next scene in five!
Carter: *In a confused nervous tone* ...Wow, this is going great.
Sadie: *In the same tone* ...Perfect.
Director: I know right! I can't believe we're actually doing this! I gotta thank you for bringing this idea to the studio.
Carter: *Cheerful again* Oh, it was no problem. We always wanted to see our-I mean, Carter & Sadie's adventures in a movie.
Director: Well, it was a good idea, taking a not-so-popular fictional series and making it a big budget movie.
Carter: Uh...heh heh, fictional, sure.
Director: Anyways, enjoy your break.
*The two walk off, only to be pulled behind the back of a building by Percy & Annabeth*
Carter: What are you guys doing here?!?
Annabeth: We came to stop you!
Sadie: I'm sorry, what now?!
Percy: Look, you can't go through with this movie! It will ruin you & your adventures and everyone will associate the movie with you guys!
Carter: Or, it will be awesome & make us as popular as you guys!
Annabeth: I saw the scenes you guys just did! You know something's up! You know how none of this is accurate!
Percy: Plus, why would you wanna be as popular as us! Have you seen our lives! We're literally at the center of every apocalypse!
Sadie: Sorry, loves, but it's finally time for the Kanes to be in the spotlight for once! We're going to do this and it will be awesome!
Carter: *In a Schwarzenegger voice* Hasta la vista!
Sadie: Don't be a nerd, Carter. *The two walk off*
*Annabeth pulls out a walkie-talkie*
Annabeth: Well, that failed.
Guy over the walkie-talkie: What now? We can't let them go down like this!
Annabeth: Grover, get the others. It's time for plan B.
*To be continued*
The Kanes are sick of this B.S Pt 3
*The Kanes are hanging around the set when Thalia & Jason, hiding from them, try to use their powers to short-circuit the cameras*
Jason: Why are we doing this again?
Thalia: Trust me, I dealt with stupid movies like this. I'm not letting them suffer too!
*Unfortunately, their powers fail and they end up shocking themselves*
*Later, Leo and Magnus sit far above, looking down at the set with buckets of paint in their hands*
Magnus: These movies never screwed you over. Why are you doing this?
Leo: Any excuse to dump paint on anyone is fine by me, bro. What about you?
Magnus: Annabeth.
Leo: Say no more.
*The two dump their piles of paint, only for them to somehow fly back up and splash right back in their faces.*
Leo:...Magicians...Forgot about that part.
*Later, the brother and sister walk down the set before quickly throwing a ball of fire behind them. From behind them, Grover ran out, screaming and on fire.*
Grover: OW!OW!OW!FIREBAD! FIREBAD!
Sadie: Okay, you had your fun! Now bugger off, you goddamn psychos!
Grovr: DUDE! WE'RE ONLY TRYING TO HELP!
Carter: HELP?! YOU'RE TRYING TO SCREW OVER OUR ONE CHANCE!!
Grover: WHAT?! THIS ISN'T A CHANCE! THIS IS JUST STUP-
*The two pull out their wands threateningly*
Grover:..Stupidly amazing and I will just leave now.
Carter: What do we do now?
Sadie: Call for backup.
The Kanes are sick of this B.S Pt 4
Magnus: Okay, so we're still doing this stupid thing?
Percy: Pretty much. We can't let this happen.
Jason: Why do we have to get involved? We haven't even gotten our own movies!
Annabeth: Because shut your mouth, that's why. Let's go.
*A ball of fire smacks right next to the group, causing them to fall to the ground*
Magnus: HOLY MOTHER OF-!!!
*Horus appears*
Horus: The Kanes called. They said stop screwing up their movie or they'll call for more help.
Percy: Pfft! HA! Them and what army!
*All of a sudden, a horde of magicians and Egyptian gods appear, weapons in their hands and malicious smiles on their faces*
Percy: *Smiling nervously* OH!...That army!...crap.
Magnus: WAIT! WAIT! DON'T KILL ME! I HAVEN'T EVEN MADE OUT WITH ALEX YET!
Nico: Percy, if we die, I'm kicking your ass in Tartarus.
Jason: Same.
*To be continued*
The Kanes are sick of this B.S Pt 5
*In a theater for the premiere of the movie, Carter and Sadie are sitting all the way in the back, smiling*
Sadie: This is it, Carter! Our big break to the public.
Carter: Finally, we can actually get the recognition we always wanted!!!
*The doors to the theater were smashed through as Percy, Annabeth, the rest of the seven and their friends, and the Kanes' entire army of friends ran towards them*
Percy: *Casually* Okay, so we got as many time travel spells and made more deals with demons than the Winchesters! If we hurry now, we can go back and stop this from ever happening!
Carter: HOW THE HELL DID YOU GET HERE?!?!
Sadie: AND WHY THE HELL DIDN'T HORUS AND THE OTHERS STOP YOU!
Horus: Well, we were about to kick the living shit out of them but then they talked about their own movie and all the crap that went down there and we decided "screw it. Let's stop this."
Annabeth: Look this is our last chance at stopping this movie from ever going becoming a real thing!
Sadie: And what?! We go back to obscurity and the occasional post on Tumblr? NO WAY, YOU GREEK ASSHOLES!!
Random moviegoer: SHH! The movie's starting.
Percy: Oh crap.
Carter: Here we go.
To be continued...
The Kanes are sick of this BS Pt 6
*As the movie ends and the mortals leave, the demigods/magicians/immortals simply look on in silence*
Percy: SEE! WE TOLD YOU! BUT YOU COULDN'T JUST LISTEN, COULD YOU!!!
Grover: AND NOW YOU'RE STUCK WITH A MOVIE LIKE THIS!!!
Annabeth: A MOVIE THAT IS COMPLETELY, 100 percent-
Magnus: That's it?
*The three turn to look at him*
Percy: What?
Magnus: That's the big danger you guys were talking about?
Jason: I mean, it was bad, don't get me wrong. It was really bad, but it wasn't like the worst thing ever.
Percy: WHAT?! BUT THAT WAS ONE OF THE WORST ADAPTATIONS EVER!!!
Horus: Yes, that is true. It lost the humor our adventures had-
Walt: It got a LOOOOOOOT of stuff wrong like getting our personalities wrong. The acting doesn't exactly help.
Leo: And it is pretty much just like every other bland adaptation nowadays.
Piper: But it's not like it's the worst adaptation ever, guys.
Percy: But...but...
Nico: And besides, can you really say that THIS was the worst book-to-film movie ever?
*Images of Stephanie Meyer films float in the trio's minds as they sigh*
Percy: They're right.
Annabeth: As sucky as this is, as dumb as it is, as bad as it is...
Grover: It's not...THE worst. *More uplifted* Right, guys?
Sadie: *Bluntly* Nah, that was shit.
Carter: No idea what you guys are talking about.
Octavian: Am I the only one who liked it?
Nico: Didn't we kill you?!
*The two chase each other out of the theater as the Kanes notice someone talking at the front of the theater*
Random girl in the theater: Mommy, can we got to the library? This was cool and I wanna see if they have the books!
*The magician siblings look down and smile, happy that they at least inspired someone*
Carter: But...is there a way for us to make a better adaptation?
Percy: *Smiling* There is one way.
To be continued...
The Kanes are sick of this B.S Pt 7
*The demigods, einharjar, and magicians sit in a cheaply-made theater, spotlights everywhere*
Grover: Are you sure this will work, dude?
Percy: If it worked for us, I think it can work for them.
*Suddenly, the brother and sister duo burst on stage, singing*
Carter: I keep my head down, I keep my chin up!
Sadie: But it all ends with strife!
Both: WITH "PACK YOUR BAGS, KANE KIDS! TO THE HOUSE OF LIIIIIFE!"
Carter: I NEVER TRY TO DO ANYTHING!!!
Sadie: I NEVER MEANT TO HOST AAAANY GODS!!!
Both: I SWEAR, I SWEAR I'M A MAGICIAN!!! MAGICIAN!! WHO'S HAD A BAD RUN!!!
*A grand applause is heard from the theater goers, the demigods included*
Annabeth: Uncle Rick's gonna kill us for this, isn't he?
Percy: Yep.
Annabeth: Sweet. WOOOO, KANES!!!