Riordan - Tumblr Posts
The Kanes are sick of this B.S Pt 4
Magnus: Okay, so we're still doing this stupid thing?
Percy: Pretty much. We can't let this happen.
Jason: Why do we have to get involved? We haven't even gotten our own movies!
Annabeth: Because shut your mouth, that's why. Let's go.
*A ball of fire smacks right next to the group, causing them to fall to the ground*
Magnus: HOLY MOTHER OF-!!!
*Horus appears*
Horus: The Kanes called. They said stop screwing up their movie or they'll call for more help.
Percy: Pfft! HA! Them and what army!
*All of a sudden, a horde of magicians and Egyptian gods appear, weapons in their hands and malicious smiles on their faces*
Percy: *Smiling nervously* OH!...That army!...crap.
Magnus: WAIT! WAIT! DON'T KILL ME! I HAVEN'T EVEN MADE OUT WITH ALEX YET!
Nico: Percy, if we die, I'm kicking your ass in Tartarus.
Jason: Same.
*To be continued*
I just realized that the Kanes are approximately 3 to 4 years younger than Percy and his friends. Percy was sixteen during the attack on Manhattan and Sadie said that she was twelve during the events of the Red Pyramid, which took place a year or less apart based on the release dates of the books.
This has got me thinking that Percy and his buddies have this cute older-sibling relationship with the Kanes, teasing them, helping them out with their personal issues with some elderly knowledge, tutoring them with class, all sorts of things that big brothers/sisters do.
Plus, Magnus would be three years younger than the Kanes as well! I could see them enjoying being older than another pantheon’s hero for once!
Sadie: Hey, man, your dad's calling.
Anubis: Hey, pick that up for me.
Sadie: I don't like answering people's phones, but *picks up* HEY, WADDUP, BITCH?!
Anubis: THAT'S MY DAD!!!
The Kanes are sick of this B.S Pt 5
*In a theater for the premiere of the movie, Carter and Sadie are sitting all the way in the back, smiling*
Sadie: This is it, Carter! Our big break to the public.
Carter: Finally, we can actually get the recognition we always wanted!!!
*The doors to the theater were smashed through as Percy, Annabeth, the rest of the seven and their friends, and the Kanes' entire army of friends ran towards them*
Percy: *Casually* Okay, so we got as many time travel spells and made more deals with demons than the Winchesters! If we hurry now, we can go back and stop this from ever happening!
Carter: HOW THE HELL DID YOU GET HERE?!?!
Sadie: AND WHY THE HELL DIDN'T HORUS AND THE OTHERS STOP YOU!
Horus: Well, we were about to kick the living shit out of them but then they talked about their own movie and all the crap that went down there and we decided "screw it. Let's stop this."
Annabeth: Look this is our last chance at stopping this movie from ever going becoming a real thing!
Sadie: And what?! We go back to obscurity and the occasional post on Tumblr? NO WAY, YOU GREEK ASSHOLES!!
Random moviegoer: SHH! The movie's starting.
Percy: Oh crap.
Carter: Here we go.
To be continued...
The Kanes are sick of this BS Pt 6
*As the movie ends and the mortals leave, the demigods/magicians/immortals simply look on in silence*
Percy: SEE! WE TOLD YOU! BUT YOU COULDN'T JUST LISTEN, COULD YOU!!!
Grover: AND NOW YOU'RE STUCK WITH A MOVIE LIKE THIS!!!
Annabeth: A MOVIE THAT IS COMPLETELY, 100 percent-
Magnus: That's it?
*The three turn to look at him*
Percy: What?
Magnus: That's the big danger you guys were talking about?
Jason: I mean, it was bad, don't get me wrong. It was really bad, but it wasn't like the worst thing ever.
Percy: WHAT?! BUT THAT WAS ONE OF THE WORST ADAPTATIONS EVER!!!
Horus: Yes, that is true. It lost the humor our adventures had-
Walt: It got a LOOOOOOOT of stuff wrong like getting our personalities wrong. The acting doesn't exactly help.
Leo: And it is pretty much just like every other bland adaptation nowadays.
Piper: But it's not like it's the worst adaptation ever, guys.
Percy: But...but...
Nico: And besides, can you really say that THIS was the worst book-to-film movie ever?
*Images of Stephanie Meyer films float in the trio's minds as they sigh*
Percy: They're right.
Annabeth: As sucky as this is, as dumb as it is, as bad as it is...
Grover: It's not...THE worst. *More uplifted* Right, guys?
Sadie: *Bluntly* Nah, that was shit.
Carter: No idea what you guys are talking about.
Octavian: Am I the only one who liked it?
Nico: Didn't we kill you?!
*The two chase each other out of the theater as the Kanes notice someone talking at the front of the theater*
Random girl in the theater: Mommy, can we got to the library? This was cool and I wanna see if they have the books!
*The magician siblings look down and smile, happy that they at least inspired someone*
Carter: But...is there a way for us to make a better adaptation?
Percy: *Smiling* There is one way.
To be continued...
The Kanes are sick of this B.S Pt 7
*The demigods, einharjar, and magicians sit in a cheaply-made theater, spotlights everywhere*
Grover: Are you sure this will work, dude?
Percy: If it worked for us, I think it can work for them.
*Suddenly, the brother and sister duo burst on stage, singing*
Carter: I keep my head down, I keep my chin up!
Sadie: But it all ends with strife!
Both: WITH "PACK YOUR BAGS, KANE KIDS! TO THE HOUSE OF LIIIIIFE!"
Carter: I NEVER TRY TO DO ANYTHING!!!
Sadie: I NEVER MEANT TO HOST AAAANY GODS!!!
Both: I SWEAR, I SWEAR I'M A MAGICIAN!!! MAGICIAN!! WHO'S HAD A BAD RUN!!!
*A grand applause is heard from the theater goers, the demigods included*
Annabeth: Uncle Rick's gonna kill us for this, isn't he?
Percy: Yep.
Annabeth: Sweet. WOOOO, KANES!!!
TKC presents.. "Good Magician"
Carter: Six tombs in six years; Been kicked out of every place
Sadie: Every spell I ever do is wrong; Don't know which House I belong; Every monster on my case
Carter: The same old story; The same old song
Sadie: "Don't host gods; Don't summon Set; Be strong"
Carter: I keep my wand up; I keep my sword down; But it all ends up with strife
Sadie: With "PACK YOUR BAGS, KANE KIDS! TO THE HOUSE OF LIIIIFE!!!
Carter: I NEVER TRY TO DO ANYTHING!!!
Sadie: I NEVER MEANT TO HOST AAANY GODS!!!
Both: I SWEAR! I SWEAR! I'M A MAGICIAN!! MAGICIAN!! WHO'S HAD A BAD RUN!!!
The True Big Three
I love my children: Greek cupcake, Egyptian nerd and Norse chocolate hobo ♥
Riordan/Hamilton AU
Percy as Hamilton (both being badasses orphaned by their fathers, battling in wars and working non-stop, especially with pens)
Carter as Burr (overlooked by others, acts as the worry-wart to the impulsive hero, and constantly trying to live up to their parents’ legacies)
Annabeth as Eliza (both act as the lover of the hero who takes none of his shit and becomes wiser as the story progresses)
Rachel as Angelica (interested in the hero but decides to give him up in the end as he has his own destiny to fulfil and she has hers.)
Hazel as Peggy (The young and cute one)
Chiron as Washington (The wiser elder the hero idolizes)
Set as King George (The pompous villain who seems like he’s the big threat, but is merely comic relief)
Grover as Laurens (The hero’s best friend who brings the hero along for an adventure)
Samirah as Lafayette (The courageous, snarky badass loyal to their home)
Leo as Mulligan (The over-the-top badass who evades death and kicks ass)
Sadie as Jefferson (Arrogant, very over-dramatic and loving it)
Lacy as Madison (The arrogant dramatist’s BFF)
Magnus as Philip (Acts like their cousin/parent and dies for it)
Zia as Theodosia (The lover of the worrywart protagonist/villain)
Jason as Maria (I think we all know what we’re thinking here)
Magnus: So, I have made the decision to trust you!
Alex: A horrible decision, really.
*A bunch of Frost Giants appear*
Magnus: Who is that?
Alex: They don't like me!
*The Valkyries appear, led by Samirah*
Magnus: Who is that?
Alex: They don't like me either!
*Hearthstone appears*
Magnus: WHO IS THAT?!
Alex: LET'S JUST ASSUME FOR THE MOMENT THAT EVERYONE IN HERE DOESN'T LIKE ME!!
Raise your hand if you want me to make a Riordanverse version of “I’ve Got a Dream”?
Riordan version “I’ve Got A Dream”
Percy: YOU’RE GONNA DIE, FIERRO!
Alex: HA! TOO LATE FOR THAT, BLUEBOY!
*As a horde of teens grabs Alex, Magnus quickly throws Jack at Percy, hitting Percy in the back of the head with the sword’s hilt.*
Magnus: WHAT THE LIVING HELHEIM?! I JUST CAME HERE FOR A GOOD TIME WITH THIS OTHER WEIRDO! I HAVEN’T SEEN MIDGARD IN YEARS AND THIS IS WHAT I GET?! A BUNCH OF DEMI-JERKS AND MAGICAL MURDERERS?! HAVEN’T ANY OF YOU EVER HAD A DREAM?!
*Percy turns to the blonde and menacingly pulls out Riptide*
Alex: *Laughing nervously * Oh ho ho, he gone.
Percy: *Inhales deeply* I had a dream once...HIT THE MUSIC, GROVER!
I’m stuck with gods who hate me!
And Mr D berates me!
Seems as though my days aren’t getting any brighteeer!
But once my Dad is gone,
And nothing in Manhattan’s wrong
Then I can finally go and be a WRITEER!
Can’t you see my writing ‘bout my travels?
Watching the young children’s faces gleam?
Yes, I love being a hero!
But after Kronos, Luke, and Nero,
I wanna go and achieve my own dream!
Everyone:
He’s got a dream!
He’s got a dream!
Alex: ...What in the f-?
Percy:
See, I’m way much more of a geek than I seeeem!
The pen’s stronger than the sword!
I’ll use a pen-name! Like Riord...an!
Like all these other guys
I’ve got a dream!
Carter:
I am awkward, shy, and nerdy!
My looks aren’t truly purdy!
And demons always chase me cada díaaa!
But when I get the guts to try it
And when my sister’s finally quiet!
Sadie: NEVEEEER!!!
Carter:
Then I’ll finally go on date with Ziaaaa!
Can’t you see us two down at the mall?
Enjoying the lack of Horus and his screams?
Though my mind’s the most strategic,
I just want this girl from Egpyt!
‘Cause way down deep inside,
I’ve got a dream!
Sadie: *Cradling a nervous Alex*
He’s got a dream!
Carter:
I’ve got a dream!
Sadie: *Tossing Alex over her shoulders*
He’s got a dream!
Carter:
I’ve got a dream!
Sadie: *Singing to Magnus*
He really needs to boost his self-esteeeem!
Carter:
Though I’m not as godly as Bast,
I just hope this love will last!
Both Kanes:
Like every one of us,
We’ve got a dream!
Apollo/Lester:
Meg wants to kill “the Beast” and be a florist!
Thalia: *With the other hunters backing her up in harmony*
In the constellations, us hunters wish to joooin!
Chris:
Capture the Flag, Clarisse will win!
Walt:
Felix chilling with penguins!
Frank:
No more deaths!
Hazel:
No more kills!
Reyna:
No more monsters, no more thrills!
Jason, Piper, and Leo: *Dramatically posing above the emo*
And Nico can fi-na-lly get it on with Wiiiill!
Nico: *Pulls down his hood* Screw you guys.
Alex: Oh my Odin, just throw me off of the World Tree already.
Percy: *Snickers* And what about you, Cabbagehead?
Alex: Excuse me, Campboy?
Carter: What’s your dream?
Alex: HA! NO! NOPE! No no no! AIn’t doing this! Not singing. No way.
*Every camper, magician, and warrior point their weapon at Alex*
Alex: *Awkwardly dancing*
Okay, so I have dreams, but with less feels
I want to get ‘em, but let’s be real,
They’re not exactly realistic, ma’ams and misters!
Nico: You suck at rhyming.
Alex: SHUT THE FU...Lemme finish.
After I’m finished up with Chase,
I’m gonna punch my dad in the face!
And go and eat falafels with my sister!
Magnus:
I’ve got a dream!
Everyone:
He’s got a dream!
Magnus:
I’ve got a dream!
Everyone:
He’s got a dream!
Magnus:
I just want see my cousin and be freeee!
Never thought I would get this far!
I’m so glad that I ditched Asgard!
Like all you guys and gals,
I’ve got a dream!
Everyone:
She's got a dream! He's got a dream! They've got a dream! We've got a dream!
See we’re not grand or godly as we seem!
Percy:
A big, weird team!
Carter:
Yeah, we’re annnoying
Sadie:
Lacking insight!
Percy:
But at least we’re better than “Twilight”!
Everyone:
‘Cause way down deep inside
We’ve got a dream!
Percy:
I’ve got a dream!
Carter:
I’ve got a dream!
Alex: *Sarcastically joining in*
I’ve got a dream
I’ve got a dream
I’ve got a dream
Magnus:
I’VE GOT A DREAM!
Everyone:
Yes, way down deep inside,
I'VE GOT A DREAM!
Alex:...This is gonna be a long trip, isn’t it?
Magnus: *Shrugs* Guess so!
Could you imagine what it would be like for the Kanes if they ever found out? They already kind of feel bad for letting him die, but could you imagine how much worse they would feel if they discovered that the guy they thought was just some French jerk actually had a tragic backstory?
Sad Desjardins
There may be a reason why Desjardins is so grumpy. I mean he was over 200 years old, that probably means he is married or at least was married. I mean when we first meet him he was not a pleasant guy. It could be because his wife died, and even to make it sadder, died during childbirth, as did the child. This all could be a reason why he isn’t happy character
Well, that was depressingly fun to read
Imagine if Percy went to Camp Jupiter first (pt2)
- Calypso would still be in Ogygia, forgotten and unnoticed by the gods
- Annabeth probably would’ve joined Kronos’ side
- Grover would be exiled
- Tyson never would have made it to Camp Halfblood, and never be noticed by Poseidon
- Nico never would have realized he was gay, since Percy was his first crush
- The prophecy would have taken longer to fulfill
- Percy would probably be dating Reyna or some other camper
- Percy would grow up knowing his godly parent wasn’t welcome
- He would constantly be bullied for being a graecus
- Percabeth woundnt be canon 😢
I might do a part 3 if I can think of others, comment on what you think would happen!!
Riordan Dudes in the MCU!
Annabeth as Captain America/Nomad
Percy as Iron Man
Grover as the Hulk
Jason as Thor
Carter as Doctor Strange
Sadie as Scarlet Witch
Anubis/Walt as Vision
Tyson as War Machine
Ella as Falcon
Piper as Black Widow
Leo as Hawkeye
Magnus as Star-Lord
Alex as Gamora
Blitzen as Rocket
Hearthstone as Groot
Frank as Drax
Hazel as Mantis
Samirah as Nebula
Thalia as Winter Soldier/White Wolf
Nico as Spider-Man
Amos as Black Panther
Zia as Okoye
Luke as Loki
Reyna as Nick Fury
Kronos as Thanos
Fan-artists! GET ON THIS!
Leo: Hey, Nico.
Nico: Yeah?
Leo: What's the best thing you've ever done in your life?
Nico: Will.
*Jason spits out his water in the distance*
Annabeth: I don't care what anyone else says. In my mind, you're an 11/10, buddy.
Magnus: Awww!
Alex: 11/10 equals 1.1. You ain't special, bitch.
The Heroes of the Riordanverse Pt 1
Left to Right: Magnus, Percy, Carter, Sadie