Gross?

Gross?

Nzou of Zimbabwe doesn't think so.

(if this isn't a troll, maybe they're referencing this)

legitimately cannot tell if this is a troll or if they actually think this is a good argument

The futile task of ordering the chaos

ao3 fic dreamwidth

An index of oldfic:

A Worse Pill to Swallow: Part one Part two Part three

The Book of Moltres James: Part one Part two Part three Part four

Giovanni Is Just the Worst boss: Part one Part two

James and Meowth Do A Fluffy Experiment: Part one Part two

The Angsty Domestic Life of Team Rocket: Part one Part two Part three

Jessie Drugs James and Is Generally Abusive: Part one Part two Part three Part four

James's Special Delivery: Part one Part two Part three

Toxic Rocketshipping: Part one Part two Part three

Bad Blood: Part one Part two Part three

Holiday Half Arse: Part one Part two

You Got Played (A Yu-Gi-Oh songfic): Part one Part two Part three Part four Part five

The Invasion (A Sims 2 Darkfic): Part one Part two Part three

(IN PROGRESS) The Sad Saga of James Morgan and Company: Episode one Episode two Episode three Episode four Episode five

Brotherly Love (A Taboo Animaniacs fic): Part one Part two Part three Part Four Part Five

New fic and miscellany:

Level Nineteen and Pregnant: A Short Crackfic

The Charm Cat and His Queen: Erotic Blueshipping Haiku

Blueship Ahoy: A Collection of James/Meowth Smut Short Stories

Leaky Loki: A Sims 2 kinkfic (direct link to ao3)

Your Narf is My Drug: A Pinky and the Brain/Animaniacs parody songfic (mirror on ao3)

(IN PROGRESS) The Prophet of Moltres: An Illustrated Crackfic: Page one

(IN PROGRESS) Team Rocket But They're Sims: Part one Part two Part three Part four

a quick sketch of a ship kitten

One man’s trash (my fic at 2AM after I’ve reread it so many times I’ve become sick of and disillusioned by it) is another man’s treasure (my fic a few days later when I’m looking at it with fresh eyes and realizing it’s actually not that bad, perhaps even pretty good).

**Crossovers count for multiple fandoms ONLY if you included characters from both worlds. If you just borrowed the setting/a few story elements, then only count the main fandom**

Toxic Rocketshipping: Jessie Is Just the Worst Fortune Teller (part three of three)

This fic is possibly Not Safe For Life.

Please heed the warnings.

Part one is here. Part two is here.

Content Warning: First-person mixed points-of-view; gross misunderstanding of slavery; violence; sexual abuse; Pokémon/Human romantic relationship; silly, middle-school romance writing; the twerps witness something horrible; out-of-character behavior for James and Meowth; absolute character assassination of Jessie; Jessie manages to be anti-choice and pro-abortion at the same time; very shaky understanding of psychological issues; mpreg mention; crucifixion mention; oddly-placed musings on spirituality; Jesus Hades Christ twelve!me tortured James a lot in fic (Jesus and Hades had nothing to do with this you leave them out of it)

-O-o-O-o-O-

(James's point of view)

"James, wake up!"

I came to at the sound of Meowth's voice.

"What just happened? Was that a dream?" I asked. I was lying on the bed with an ice pack on my forehead.

"You fainted. Right after I told you I liked you," Meowth said. I thought he still sounded shy and maybe a little bit hurt.

It wasn't too good to be true, I thought. I began to feel lightheaded again, so I lay back down.

"You don't like me?" Meowth said. He definitely sounded hurt this time.

"I-I just…" was all I could get out.

"What?" Meowth's voice was still soft.

"I….I love you, too," I whispered.

Then Meowth did something I never thought he'd do.

He kissed me. I kissed him back.

We were kissing on the lips.

It just felt right, even though it was wrong. No. It wasn't wrong. We both wanted it.

When our mouths parted, I was practically paralyzed.

Meowth hugged me and started French kissing me. I wouldn't have liked it if it were someone else, but Meowth's mouth was perfectly clean. His breath tasted like mint.

We stopped. We just stared at each other.

"Wow," was all I could say.

Meowth blinked. His large cerulean eyes had a look in them that said, "Did I do that?"

I looked around. Jessie was nowhere to be found.

"Jessie isn't here," I said.

"That's a relief," Meowth said.

We were safe.

-O-o-O-

(Meowth's point of view)

The trouble started that night.

Jessie called James into her room for some "slave business." James went in reluctantly.

It was silent for a while until I heard a scream.

I was hiding in Jessie's closet, so I peeked out of the crack in the door. James was lying down on the bed, tied down. Jessie was touching his groin.

"Get off of me! Stop it!" James was screaming.

Jessie pulled James up by his shirt. "Do not resist me. Unless you want things to get ugly," Jessie said. She flung James back down.

That did it.

"If you wanna talk ugly, go look in a mirror," I said, coming out of the closet.

"Damn you!" yelled Jessie. She hit James across his face hard.

Jessie started to unzip James's fly.

"Let me go!" James screamed.

Then, like things weren't bad enough, guess who comes in?

Team Twerp.

"We heard screaming and thought there might be—What the hell is going on with you three?!" Ash yelled.

All this was probably too much for James. He burst into tears.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, while holding James.

"I already told you. We heard screaming and thought someone was being killed or something," Ash said.

Misty had come over to James to comfort him.

"What has she been doing to you?" Misty asked.

James was crying too hard to answer, so I said, "Jessie bought him."

"She bought him?! With a title deed?!" Misty was shocked.

James nodded through his tears.

"That's fucked up," she said.

"She made him her sex slave," I said.

"That's an invasion of privacy! Why would she want to do such awful things to James?" Misty said.

"I don't know. She must be a horny psychopath," I said.

Ash and Brock had to hold Jessie back from sexually abusing James.

That wasn't pretty.

-O-o-O-

Jessie had to be locked up in her room so she couldn't attack James.

Team Twerp stayed with us. They just wanted to help if anything happened.

"Good guys don't usually help bad guys," I said.

"Well, we're not your usual good guys," said Ash.

Jessie started banging on the door of her room. James and I went to the door.

"What are you banging for?" James asked timidly.

"Look under the fucking door and you'll see," Jessie yelled.

James looked under the door. There was a sheet of paper. He gave me a look that said, "What do you think this could be?"

When he turned over the paper and looked at it, he turned completely white.

"That will be you and Meowth one day," Jessie said.

James had dropped the sheet of paper on the floor and staggered into the bathroom. I heard loud vomiting noises coming from the bathroom.

I picked up the paper. On it was the most fucked up thing I ever saw.

It was a crudely drawn picture of the three of us. I was nailed to a cross with my eyelids taped open. That was bad enough, but next to my crucifixion, was a worse picture. Jessie was kicking a very pregnant-with-kittens James in the stomach. James was screaming. There was a red line coming from between James's legs.

Scary.

Written under it was, "I know your secret. This is your future."

Nasty.

I walked right back to Jessie's door.

"Why did you draw that nasty picture of James and me?" I asked.

"Because both of you are Pokébestial freaks and you need to know what's coming," Jessie said.

"What makes you think either of us would let that happen?"

"One day, you're gonna wake up after fucking James's ass and know the picture was right."

I wasn't getting anywhere, so I just decided to give up.

James had come out of the bathroom and into our room. He fell onto the bed.

"How could she have found out about yesterday?" I asked myself.

I guess James must've heard because he said, "She must've heard us kissing."

We were silent for a while.

I sat by where James was lying down.

"Meowth?" James said.

"Yes, James?" I said.

"I've come to a realization. I don't belong with Jessie. I belong with you." James looked up at me. His eyes shone like emeralds. "I've found a place where I belong."

I imagined what James had been going through. He didn't belong with snooty rich people, but he didn't belong with Team Rocket. This was like the ending of a quest to find his place in life, like a spiritual kind of thing.

That whole experience had brought us together.

-O-o-O-

(James's point of view)

Meowth cleverly managed to buy me back. He ripped up the title deed and set me free.

Jessie was sent to a mental institution. She is on parole right now.

Caveat emptor, Jessica Romanova.

Meowth and I were together at last.

-O-o-O-o-O-

Moral of the story: Don't try to buy your friends. No, literally don't try to buy your friends, they're not property holy shit.