Tw: Sexual Abuse - Tumblr Posts

(This will probably be one of the only times I say anything about this subject, I just wanted to talk about it while it's on my mind)

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Okay, so to start this off, I'm a Christian, who's bisexual, I go to church on and off, and I don't talk about my religion all that often unless someone starts the conversation first. Now, the church I go to is a smaller-scale one, it's pretty big in terms of local churches, but it's nothing close to a mega-church or anything outside of simply being a community church. It's a southern baptist church, so you can already guess that some of their beliefs are terribly outdated (specifically their views on gay people, it's not so much condemning them to hell or anything, but the lead pastor is just the type who says he would never be gay, but wouldn't downright hate someone for coming out to him as gay or trans, or anything of that sort).

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Now, I say all this to say, what the FUCK are some Christians on? I've never personally been anywhere near or been in a megachurch, literally have lived like miles and miles out from them, so I can't attest to what they are like, but the things I've heard about them are wild. I recently learned what the word proselytizing means, and it's really disgusting to realize that this kind of behavior has happened so much that it got its own word. I know this kind of thing is happening, and if I hear or see someone do it in-person I actively speak against it, but I didn't really grasp just how widespread it was till now. Then there's the overwhelming number of pedos and rapists that attend Evangelical Churches (I specify Evangelical because I personally see that as the terrible grandparent of Christianity that got famous for their war crimes and overshadowed the rest of their family and boasts about it). And their beliefs in general are crazy.

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For me personally, the way I view Christianity is this; I do pick and chose what to believe from the Bible, or at least all the versions I've read save for a specific one I used too have (I can't find it anymore, but it was some teen version that was re-done by a very open author who actually went to college for this), because so many things have been lost to translation errors, and people editing things long ago, etc, etc. The simple version of that, it's almost impossible to really pick apart EVERYTHING that the Bible supposedly commands us to do as Christians. There are a few things that we can follow though, because they have been repeated so many times throughout the entire Bible that it's too coincidental to be considered anything other than truth; we should love everyone, no matter religion, gender, race, and orientation. It is our job to help those less fortunate than us, not because we need to force them to become Christians, but to show them Jesus's love, because everyone deserves that basic sort of care. We as Christians have no right to judge others and make bold claims such as 'you are going to hell!', as we are not any better than they are.

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So where are these megachurches getting off on to literally go against the fundamentals of our religion? It's not even a matter of 'oh you just don't understand the Bible' or 'it's just how my church teaches things', at that point your just stroking your own ego and trying to suppress everyone around you until they bend to whatever power trip your having. I just can't understand how someone can go 'Ah yes, I am very faithful and devout Christian. But unless you convert to Christianity, I can't give you the help you desperately need'. Or how they intentionally go out and 'help' people, under the guise of trying to force their religion on them.

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How my church has always operated is people first, our religion second. Because that's how it's SUPPOSED to be. It's not our job to make people Christians, it's our job to help people and guide them to the right path, not the path that we THINK is right. So if that path isn't Christianity, then what business do we have with forcing them to pursue it anyway? For one example, our church recently started something called the 'Lighthouse', which is a completely free and open place for children who have been through sexual and physical abuse. They help the victims of these horrific things find the help they need, whether it's getting in contact with a good social services agent, CPS, finding a lawyer to help them go to court, offering counseling and therapy, or just giving them a safe space whenever they need it. They don't do this to try and convert these people to Christians, they do it because they saw an issue in our community, and found a way to help. We've done numerous charity drives, partnered with tons of local operations, have done things like offer free dental work for those who can't afford it, started a free laundromat chapter, and countless other things, not in the NAME of Jesus, but because of the LOVE of Jesus.

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TLDR: Megachurches are ass, I am deeply sorry for anyone who has been affected or wronged by them, people need to stop forcing Christianity (its called faith for a reason, its because you believe in it, not because someone else scared you into thinking it), and why can't some Christians get the stick out of their ass and just accept the fact that not everyone wants to believe what we do?

Jessie Drugs James and Is Generally Abusive: Jessie Evolves Into a Poison Type Pokémon (part two of four)

Another installment of "Reasons I'm Glad I Instinctively Had a 'Lurk More' Mentality as a Kid." Featuring "What the Fuck Was Up with Twelve!me?"

Part one is here.

Content Warning: First-person mixed points-of-view; abuse; workplace violence; questionable depiction of medical issues and injuries; possibly uncomfortable discussions of romance; angst over romantic orientation that might hit too close to home; poisoning by chemicals or drugging; forcible injection; sexual abuse; suicidal ideation; attempted murder plot; Pokémon/Human romantic (maybe?) relationship; out-of-character behavior for James and Meowth; absolute character assassination of Jessie; Jesus Hades Christ twelve!me tortured James a lot in fic (this isn't even the worst of it)

-O-o-O-o-O-

(Meowth's point of view)

Lately, I noticed James acting differently. When he was around Jessie, he wouldn't look at her or talk to her. If she talked to him, he'd burst into silent, but violent tears.

Then one day, he asked me for advice about something that surprised me, but sort of didn't. This was probably the bravest thing James did because he was so shy about romance.

"Meowth? What do I do if….I-I love another boy?" James asked.

"What?" I said.

"I'm in love with another boy," James said softly.

"Who?" I asked. James looked away suddenly. He was probably afraid to say it. "Okay, you don't have to tell me."

"I don't know how it started. I can't even remember when it started." James managed to say this and then broke down into tears.

"I don't even want to have these feelings," James sobbed. "I don't want to fall in love."

"Why don't you want to fall in love?" I asked.

"What if the person I'm in love with hates me? What if they think there's something horribly wrong with me for falling in love with them? What if they abuse me? What if they act like I'm not there? And if I get married, what if they make me do….forbidden things with them?" James began wiping away tears again.

"But don't you want to be happy when you're in love?" I asked.

"I won't be happy if I'm in love! I'm not ready to fall in love. I just want to take care of you," James said.

"Are there any other reasons why you don't want to fall in love?" I asked.

"I-I'm still afraid of being tied to someone," James whispered.

I could understand why. With all that Jessiebelle put him through, no wonder James was afraid of romance.

I didn't blame him for fearing love.

-O-o-O-

Another very unexpected thing happened. It frightened me.

It also proved how crazy Jessie was.

James was sitting in the tent. Jessie came in with a medicine cup. It was filled halfway. The liquid in it was a weird cream-colored white.

"Meowth, go outside," Jessie said.

"Why?" I asked.

"James and I have business," she said.

I went outside. What business could Jessie have with James?

I saw a small opening I could look through. I peeked in and didn't believe what I saw.

James was holding the medicine cup and eyeing it suspiciously.

"What is it?" he asked.

"Your medicine. What else?" Jessie acted like James was on drugs or something.

"I'm not on any medication," James said.

"Just drink it."

"No."

I must've tuned out because I heard a cry from James.

"Get off me! Stop it! I don't want it!" James yelled.

Jessie was sexually abusing James!

Jessie stuck the needle full of liquid in James's arm. James fell unconscious.

As soon as Jessie left, I went in to see James.

"Wake up," I said softly. James didn't move.

"Wake up," I said loudly. James still didn't move.

"Wake up, James! Say something!" I was crying and yelling.

James opened his eyes. He looked sad and serious. He almost looked hurt.

"So it was Jessie, wasn't it, Meowth?" James said. His voice was breaking and he sounded like he was going to cry.

"Yes," I said.

I wished I hadn't said that because James began to cry quietly. I hated to see James so unhappy.

The fact that it was Jessie who was hurting him made it worse.

-O-o-O-

I was coming out of the tent the day after the "medicine" incident. James wasn't in his sleeping bag, so I decided to look for him. I found him sitting near the river.

He was picking off the petals of a rose. I could hear him saying, "He loves me, he loves me not."

When he picked off the last petal, he said, "He loves me not." He sighed sadly and threw away the stem.

After a while, James shuddered violently. He looked into the river at his reflection.

"I'm such a failure. I don't blame Jessie for trying to drug some sense into me," he whispered. I could hear the tears in his voice. "I should end it now."

"Don't do it!" I yelled. I ran over to James, crying. I hugged him. "Don't kill yourself. Don't do it. I love you."

James hugged me back. I was crying with my mouth open, so I got to taste James's tears. They were weirdly sweet.

Just like James.

When we finished crying, I looked at James. I never realized how beautiful he was before. His silky hair was a rare violet color. For some reason, a thin clump of hair hung down in front of his face, which was so cute. His green eyes shone like emeralds. He was slender with delicate hands and feet. His skin was smooth and soft against my fur.

I envied the boy he loved.

(James's point of view)

The next day was the day everything went wrong.

Jessie told Meowth to get out of the tent. Meowth obeyed.

I had a sinking feeling in my stomach. I always got that feeling when I was alone with Jessie. I wished Meowth wasn't so obedient sometimes.

Jessie handed a bottle to me. It had black liquid in it.

"What's this?" I asked.

"Poison. Put it in Meowth's food. Pour half of it in," Jessie said.

I swallowed so I wouldn't throw up.

"Will it kill him?" I asked.

"Of course it will! It wouldn't be poison if it didn't," Jessie said.

"Will he notice?" I managed to say.

"He'll die in his sleep," Jessie said.

That night, before I cooked dinner, I was driving myself crazy about it. When I left the camp, Jessie asked, "Where are you going?"

"I'm going to get some firewood," I said.

I was out of Jessie's sight. I was about to go look for the firewood when I remembered I had the bottle of poison in my pocket.

I looked at the bottle in a daze. I couldn't kill Meowth. But I didn't want to go against Jessie's orders. I decided to dump the poison out secretly.

I knelt down and dug a small hole, about the size of Meowth. Then I got a disturbing thought.

What if I drank the poison?

I opened the bottle. The poison smelled awful, worse than the cleaning liquid. I couldn't do it. I poured the poison into the hole I dug. I'm not suicidal and I'm not a killer.

I put a rock in the hole and buried it. I used another rock as a marker.

At dinner, Meowth was quiet. Did he know what Jessie wanted me to do? Meowth didn't look scared. He looked worried.

Good, I thought. He doesn't need to be scared.

I do.

When we went to bed, Jessie asked me where the poison bottle was. I handed her the empty bottle.

"Good. It'll work better since you used all of it," she said.

I couldn't sleep. I really wasn't feeling well after lying to Jessie. I decided to run away with Meowth and turn Jessie in to a mental institution.

I set my alarm for 2:00 AM.

-O-o-O-o-O-

Moral of the story: Meowth picks the worst times to have romantic thoughts. Also, he likes the taste of James's tears.

Toxic Rocketshipping: Jessie Makes James Her Sex Slave WTF (part one of three)

This is one of the very few times I tried to write a Jessie x James fic.

And in the proud tradition of Team Rocket, I fucked it up royally.

Content Warning: First-person mixed points-of-view; sexual assault; gross misunderstanding of slavery; possibly uncomfortable discussions of romance; Stockholm syndrome mistaken for love; bizarre focus on James’s virginity (why); Pokémon/Human romantic relationship; out-of-character behavior for James and Meowth; absolute character assassination of Jessie; Jesus Hades Christ twelve!me tortured James a lot in fic (seriously what the fuck)

-O-o-O-o-O-

(James's point of view)

The trouble started when Jessie bought me.

Yes, that's right, she bought me.

I don't know how she did it. She even had a title deed written up for me.

I skimmed the deed. Something caught my eye. It was a word. Two words, actually.

"Sex slave."

I was Jessie's sex slave?! Didn't she know I valued my virginity?

What exactly did a sex slave do, anyway?

I was about to find out.

-O-o-O-

The horrible abuse started the night after Jessie bought me. She touched me in places that were inappropriate. It was really uncomfortable, but for some reason, I didn't try to break away.

Was I becoming a weak slave?

I realized I wasn't becoming weak. I was already weak. I thought that answered my question.

It didn't.

I soon realized why I was letting Jessie do all these things to me.

I was beginning to fall in love with her.

I didn't know why I was in love with Jessie. She had abused me so much, I should've hated her.

I couldn't, somehow.

I didn't want to get on her bad side, so I let her do whatever she wanted to me and did whatever she told me to. It wasn't the smartest thing to do, but I wasn't very smart.

I'm lucky she didn't do it with me. I wouldn't be a virgin right now.

-O-o-O-

(Meowth's point of view)

Jessie started taking James into her room a lot. I knew James was her sex slave, so she was probably "exploring" his body.

One night, James came out of Jessie's room and came into the room that he and I shared. He was trembling and crying.

"What happened?" I asked.

"Jessie made me strip right in front of her. I refused, so she ripped off my clothing. I've never been so humiliated in my entire life," James said between quiet sobs.

"Why did she do that?! That's an invasion of privacy!" I was angry.

"I'm her sex slave. She'll do that if I don't do what she says," James whispered.

"She has no right to make you strip if you don't want to," I said.

"Yes, she does, Meowth. She bought me. She has a title deed and everything." James produced two sheets of typed paper. One was a contract and the other was a title deed.

"Where's the 'everything'?" I asked.

"Right here," James said. He took out his sex slave identification card, a name tag, and an identification bracelet.

"Jessie has so much control over you, she's got you defending her when she's violating your rights. You need to stand up to her," I said.

"I just don't know how. And even if I did, I couldn't," James said.

"Why not?" I asked.

No answer.

"James, is there something you're not telling me?" I asked.

"I just can't stand up to Jessie, that's all."

"Why can't you?"

"Because….I love her," James said. He looked at me with tears in his eyes. I was sorry I pushed him to answer.

"Even after she did all those awful things to you?" I said, in a softer voice.

James nodded and the tears ran down his lovely face.

"But if you love her, why haven't you told her?" I asked.

"Because I don't want to love her. I don't know how I do. It's just a weird feeling. I can't explain it," James said. "I didn't even want to fall in love." He started to cry silently.

"It's okay. You can't help your feelings," I said, comforting James.

"I thought that if I let her do whatever she wanted with me, I wouldn't get on her bad side so there would be a chance she would love me too and stop doing these things to me," said James.

"That won't help. She'll just be like, 'okay, I can do whatever I want with you,' and she won't stop, she'll get worse," I said.

"So how am I going to stand up to her?" James asked.

I had to admit, I had no freaking idea.

-O-o-O-o-O-

Moral of the story: Living beings are not property. They are certainly not real estate.

The Sad Saga of James Morgan and Company: Nobody Is Safe

More of my Pokémon occult AU, barely-there OCs, and James whumpage (I swear he's my favorite character I don't know why I did this to him).

This fic contains: Colorful language; general angst; possible out-of-character moments for Jessie, James, and Meowth; underdeveloped original characters (and their fridging); violence and blood; convoluted occult lore; murderous, occult-powered Jessiebelle (now with fucked up whip action!); attempted murder; main character death (RIP Jessie); Jessiebelle is really messed up; ellipses abuse; Jesus Hades Christ eleven!me tortured James a lot in fic (this extends to Jessie and Meowth it seems); James still has magical powers

-O-o-O-o-O-

*Imagine Tylas quit being Jessiebelle's guard because he didn't want to help kill James. He figures out that James is in love with him. Jessiebelle decides to kill him by putting a curse on James. So, because James loves Tylas, if they kiss each other, Tylas will die.

*James is running from his Victreebel, which is chasing him. Tylas is running, too. He wants to get away from Jessiebelle's dungeon. They both run into each other.

James: (gets up) I'm sorry. It's my fault. I wasn't watching where I was going. Tylas: I wasn't looking either. And I was running too fast. I should be sorry.

*They both look into each other's eyes. Victreebel ruins the romantic moment by pouncing James. James gets Victreebel back into the Pokéball. Tylas is looking at him.

Tylas: Are you okay? James: (shyly) Yes. (blushes) Tylas: You sure? You're turning red. James: I'm fine. (blushes harder)

*They stand there like that for a few seconds.

Tylas: Are you, by any chance, in love with me? Is that why you're so shy and blushing? James: (breathes) Yes. Tylas: Wow. (smiles) James: Well, I have to get back to the camp now. Tylas: Okay.

*They walk away from each other.

Meowth: Did you tell him? James: Yes. At least I didn't kiss him. Then he'd die.

*The next day, the trio and Tylas walk toward each other.

Tylas: James, I know you're kind of shy around me, so I'll make this short. I love you.

*This is too much for James. He bursts into tears.

Tylas: Was it something I said? James: I'm sorry….I shouldn't have started crying. (sniffles) It's just that….Jessiebelle put a curse on me and if I kiss you, you'll die. Tylas: I still love you. James: So do I. But I can't kiss you. Tylas: That's okay.

*Jessiebelle is spying on them.

Jessiebelle: He's too smart. He won't make a mistake. I'll have to kill Tylas myself. James will either beg me to kill him, or die of a broken heart.

*Jessiebelle traps James and Tylas. Jessie and Meowth follow them. Jessiebelle gets out a dark occult knife. She locks James in a cage.

Jessiebelle: Now you'll witness the death of your lover! James: No! Let me die for him! Jessiebelle: No, this time, you can't die for your friend. I'm going to dip this knife in a very powerful potion. It's so powerful, your life potion and your powers won't be able to bring him back to life. I call it "Pure Death." (dips dark occult knife in the pure death potion)

*Jessiebelle stabs Tylas with the the dark occult pure death knife. James's vocal cords lock up and his breathing is shaky.

Jessiebelle: You want his dead body? James: (shakily) Yes.

*James grabs Tylas and gets out of there.

James: You're not going to die. You can live. I can save you. Tylas: She stabbed me with the pure death knife. James: Maybe she was lying about how powerful it was. Tylas: She wasn't. I know that potion. I saw her make it. I will always love you. James: I will, too.

*Tylas dies.

Meowth: You okay? James: No. (is quiet awhile) Maybe I'm not meant to love anyone. (gets up and walks away) Meowth: Where are you going? James: To get a shovel and to bury him.

*Jessie and Meowth see James standing out there in the rain, burying Tylas. He says something, but they can barely hear it. Then he comes back.

*The next day….

Meowth: Love is cruel. James: I hate that word now. Meowth: What?! James: I hate the "L" word. Jessie: You're being ridiculous. James: Everyone I love dies. I managed to bring Meowth back to life, but Tylas is gone. If one more person I love dies, I might consider committing suicide. Meowth: You must've liked him a lot to feel that way now. James: I did. (sighs heavily) I don't want to hurt your feelings, but can I please be left alone for a while? Meowth: You're not hurting our feelings.

*Jessie and Meowth go into the tent. James stays outside. He lets go of the fact that Tylas is dead and realizes that sometimes when you really love a person, you have to let them go.

-O-o-O-

*Imagine Jessiebelle captured James and then Jessie and Meowth followed them and got chained up, too. Jessiebelle injects poison into James. It isn't the pure death poison or some other deadly poison. She sets off a bomb, leaves the dungeon, and lets it blow up. Jessie, James, and Meowth blast off, get separated, and land in three different places. Jessie lands in a lake. James lands in a tree. Meowth lands in another dungeon.

*Jessie gets out of the lake.

Jessie: I wonder what the other two are doing.

*A bunch of kids see her coming out of the lake and start laughing. Meanwhile, James is up in a tree, on a branch. He loses his balance and falls. The tree branch snaps and falls. It lands on his head and knocks him out. At a dungeon….

Meowth: This must be Jessiebelle's new dungeon. (looks around) I'm never blasting off again.

*At the lake….

Jessie: I would take off my skirt and wring it out if all those kids weren't staring.

*At the tree a blond boy finds James. The boy's name is Lucian.

Lucian: He's hurt really badly. Jessiebelle doesn't have to know about this.

*Another boy (red-haired) comes out of the bushes.

Boy: What happened? Lucian: This boy is really hurt.

*The other boy's name is Lenny. He's Lucian's friend.

Lenny: How could he have gotten all those injuries? He looks so young. Lucian: He's only seventeen. His parents want him to marry Jessiebelle, but Jessiebelle has been abusing him. I'm Jessiebelle's new guard. It's a shame he's being abused. Lenny: How has he not died? Lucian: He's a witch, so he has some slight protection against her. But I'm going to protect him more.

*Lucian spreads a paste on James's leg where the poison was injected into him.

Lucian: He's got a bad head injury. Jessiebelle must've hit him. Or maybe he fell out of a tree.

*James wakes up.

James: Where am I? (sits up with difficulty) Lucian: I'm going to help you. I don't care what Jessiebelle thinks. Where are your friends? James: I don't know. We got separated when Jessiebelle blew up the dungeon. Lenny: Who are your friends? James: One of them is a girl named Jessie. She looks exactly like Jessiebelle, but tougher and with longer hair. The other one is a talking Meowth. Lenny: A talking Meowth? I think you should lie back down. James: But it's true. Lucian: He's right. I've seen the talking Meowth. They seem quite close. What happened to you? James: Jessiebelle injected poison into me and blew up the dungeon. Somehow, when we blasted off, Jessie, Meowth, and I got separated. I landed in a tree, but I lost my balance and fell. Then something hit me on the head and I blacked out.

*Jessie and Meowth step out of the bushes.

Meowth: What are you doing? Lucian: I'm helping him. Jessie: A likely story. Lucian: But I want to help him. Meowth: So you can earn his trust and then ambush him when he least expects it. Lucian: No! It isn't like that. I just found him unconscious a few minutes ago. He told me he got separated from you and he didn't know where you were. Meowth: You gained that much of his trust to find that out. Lucian: I took care of his wounds. Meowth: Usually he does that himself. Lucian: He was unconscious.

*Jessie and Meowth share a look.

Meowth: Okay. You can help him. But we'll stay with you to make sure there's no funny business. Lucian: (to James) I'll take care of you.

*James is looking up at Lucian adoringly. Team Rocket befriends Lucian and Lenny. James is in love with Lucian.

-O-o-O-

*Imagine Jessiebelle wants to make James die of sadness. She kills Lucian. Then she decides to try to kill Jessie, then James will commit suicide, ask Jessiebelle to kill him, or die of sadness.

*The trio is walking along the road. Jessiebelle grabs James, knocks him out with her potion, and runs. She comes to a toll booth in the middle of the forest.

Toll Booth Attendant: Where are you going? Jessiebelle: Sorry. I can't tell. It's top secret.

*Later, Jessie and Meowth come to the toll booth.

Toll Booth Attendant: You again?! Jessie: That was just someone who looked exactly like me. Which way did she go? Meowth: And was she carrying a boy? Toll Booth Attendant: She went that way. (points) Yes, she was carrying a boy. Jessie: Did you see what the boy looked like? Toll Booth Person: He had long violet hair. His eyes were closed. He was wearing a uniform similar to yours. Why? Do you think she's going to do something bad to him? Meowth: She's going to kill him.

*They find Jessiebelle's dungeon. James is locked up in a cage. He's kicking the door and trying to blast it open with his powers.

Jessiebelle: Kicking it and using your powers won't do anything. James: I have to at least try!

*Jessie and Meowth come in.

Jessiebelle: Since you're here, I'll just kill one of you. I can't kill that hell cat or I'll get cursed, so I'll have to kill you. James: No. Don't you kill her. Let me die for her! Jessie: James, you're too young to die. I'll die for you. James: No. I couldn't save Tylas and Lucian, but I'm going to save you. Jessiebelle: (dips dark occult knife in pure death potion) I think I'll end this argument. (stabs Jessie)

*James starts screaming and kicking the cage door to get it.

James: You bastard! How could you?! Jessiebelle: Young witches. Always so temperamental. (lets James out)

*James grabs Jessie's dead body, grabs Meowth by the hand, and gets out of there.

James: She's already dead. I didn't even get to say goodbye. (starts to cry softly)

*Meowth can't say anything because he's crying, too. James gets a shovel and buries Jessie.

*The next day, Jessiebelle jumps out of a tree and lands on her feet in front of James and Meowth. She's dressed like Jessie.

James: Jessie? Is that you? Jessiebelle: It's me. Your worst nightmare. Meowth: You're not Jessie. Jessiebelle: Meowth, that's right.

*James faints. Jessiebelle is about to stab James.

Meowth: Fuck off of him! (scratches Jessiebelle across the face)

*Jessiebelle screams and runs off.

Meowth: James, wake up!

*James wakes up.

James: What happened? Meowth: You passed out when Jessiebelle came back.

*Meowth notices James trembling.

Meowth:What's wrong? James: She couldn't have made a Team Rocket uniform that quickly. She would've had to take it off Jessie's body. She dug up Jessie's grave and disrespected her body. Meowth: You're sweating. James: I hate Jessiebelle. Meowth: So do I. James: What did Jessie ever do to her? Why did she have to kill her and do that to her dead body? Meowth: We've gotten killed by her, too. What did any of us do to her to make her kill us? James: I think she wants to make me die of sadness or beg for death. She's getting back at me for not marrying her. Meowth: That could be right. James: I think I should put something on Jessie's grave. Meowth: What are you going to put there?

*James gets up. He goes over to Jessie's grave (which is next to Tylas's grave) and takes out one of his roses. It's a blood red rose. There's a faded pink one on Tylas's grave.

Meowth: But that's your rose you say the motto with. James: I know. I'll carry a black rose because I'm in mourning. Meowth: She'd probably want us to continue saying the motto as we steal Pokémon. James: I don't know if I can continue to be a Team Rocket member. I think she'd want me to, and I want to honor her memory. Meowth: I want to, too. James: Why don't I just dye my uniform black?

*Jessiebelle jumps out of a tree again. She grabs James. Meowth runs after them. They all end up at the dungeon.

Jessiebelle: Marry me or die. I know a great way to kill you.

*Jessiebelle pokes James in the dick with the handle of a dark occult knife. Meowth manages to free James, take him by the hand, and run out of there.

Meowth: Why don't we tell Officer Jenny about this? James: She'd never believe a Team Rocket member. She'd probably laugh if I told her I was sexually abused.

*Jessiebelle kidnaps James and his grandparents. Meowth gets catnapped (or Poké-napped) too.

Jessiebelle: I thought you could use your old-age wisdom to set your grandson straight. (whips James around the waist)

*The whip wraps around James's waist and starts choking him. Jessiebelle tugs on the whip, trying to strangle James.

James's grandfather: What are you doing to him?!

*Jessiebelle lets go of the whip. James falls backward, unconscious. His grandparents catch him before he falls.

James's grandmother: This is madness. Meowth: Why are you killing him?

*James's grandfather is holding his body.

James's grandfather: You killed him. Meowth: (listens to James's heartbeat) He's not dead. He's just unconscious.

James's grandmother: You're going to be all right.

*James comes to.

James: What happened? Meowth: Jessiebelle tried to strangle you to death. James's grandfather: You leave our grandson alone. Jessiebelle: And if I don't?

*Growlie comes in and sets Jessiebelle on fire. She pours water on the fire. Meowth scratches her face. Everybody else runs out of there, taking Meowth with them.

James's grandmother: I'm so sorry we didn't intervene earlier when your parents tried to force you to marry Jessiebelle. We didn't know the danger they were putting you in. James: It's okay. They covered up a lot.

*After James's grandparents and Growlie leave, Meowth comes up to James.

Meowth: I guess it's just the two of us. James: Yeah. Just us. Meowth: Let's go.

*James and Meowth walk into the sunset.

-O-o-O-o-O-

Moral of the story: Even in the middle of nowhere in an occult-infested forest, you can't escape the toll booths.

Toxic Rocketshipping: Jessie Is Just the Worst Fortune Teller (part three of three)

This fic is possibly Not Safe For Life.

Please heed the warnings.

Part one is here. Part two is here.

Content Warning: First-person mixed points-of-view; gross misunderstanding of slavery; violence; sexual abuse; Pokémon/Human romantic relationship; silly, middle-school romance writing; the twerps witness something horrible; out-of-character behavior for James and Meowth; absolute character assassination of Jessie; Jessie manages to be anti-choice and pro-abortion at the same time; very shaky understanding of psychological issues; mpreg mention; crucifixion mention; oddly-placed musings on spirituality; Jesus Hades Christ twelve!me tortured James a lot in fic (Jesus and Hades had nothing to do with this you leave them out of it)

-O-o-O-o-O-

(James's point of view)

"James, wake up!"

I came to at the sound of Meowth's voice.

"What just happened? Was that a dream?" I asked. I was lying on the bed with an ice pack on my forehead.

"You fainted. Right after I told you I liked you," Meowth said. I thought he still sounded shy and maybe a little bit hurt.

It wasn't too good to be true, I thought. I began to feel lightheaded again, so I lay back down.

"You don't like me?" Meowth said. He definitely sounded hurt this time.

"I-I just…" was all I could get out.

"What?" Meowth's voice was still soft.

"I….I love you, too," I whispered.

Then Meowth did something I never thought he'd do.

He kissed me. I kissed him back.

We were kissing on the lips.

It just felt right, even though it was wrong. No. It wasn't wrong. We both wanted it.

When our mouths parted, I was practically paralyzed.

Meowth hugged me and started French kissing me. I wouldn't have liked it if it were someone else, but Meowth's mouth was perfectly clean. His breath tasted like mint.

We stopped. We just stared at each other.

"Wow," was all I could say.

Meowth blinked. His large cerulean eyes had a look in them that said, "Did I do that?"

I looked around. Jessie was nowhere to be found.

"Jessie isn't here," I said.

"That's a relief," Meowth said.

We were safe.

-O-o-O-

(Meowth's point of view)

The trouble started that night.

Jessie called James into her room for some "slave business." James went in reluctantly.

It was silent for a while until I heard a scream.

I was hiding in Jessie's closet, so I peeked out of the crack in the door. James was lying down on the bed, tied down. Jessie was touching his groin.

"Get off of me! Stop it!" James was screaming.

Jessie pulled James up by his shirt. "Do not resist me. Unless you want things to get ugly," Jessie said. She flung James back down.

That did it.

"If you wanna talk ugly, go look in a mirror," I said, coming out of the closet.

"Damn you!" yelled Jessie. She hit James across his face hard.

Jessie started to unzip James's fly.

"Let me go!" James screamed.

Then, like things weren't bad enough, guess who comes in?

Team Twerp.

"We heard screaming and thought there might be—What the hell is going on with you three?!" Ash yelled.

All this was probably too much for James. He burst into tears.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, while holding James.

"I already told you. We heard screaming and thought someone was being killed or something," Ash said.

Misty had come over to James to comfort him.

"What has she been doing to you?" Misty asked.

James was crying too hard to answer, so I said, "Jessie bought him."

"She bought him?! With a title deed?!" Misty was shocked.

James nodded through his tears.

"That's fucked up," she said.

"She made him her sex slave," I said.

"That's an invasion of privacy! Why would she want to do such awful things to James?" Misty said.

"I don't know. She must be a horny psychopath," I said.

Ash and Brock had to hold Jessie back from sexually abusing James.

That wasn't pretty.

-O-o-O-

Jessie had to be locked up in her room so she couldn't attack James.

Team Twerp stayed with us. They just wanted to help if anything happened.

"Good guys don't usually help bad guys," I said.

"Well, we're not your usual good guys," said Ash.

Jessie started banging on the door of her room. James and I went to the door.

"What are you banging for?" James asked timidly.

"Look under the fucking door and you'll see," Jessie yelled.

James looked under the door. There was a sheet of paper. He gave me a look that said, "What do you think this could be?"

When he turned over the paper and looked at it, he turned completely white.

"That will be you and Meowth one day," Jessie said.

James had dropped the sheet of paper on the floor and staggered into the bathroom. I heard loud vomiting noises coming from the bathroom.

I picked up the paper. On it was the most fucked up thing I ever saw.

It was a crudely drawn picture of the three of us. I was nailed to a cross with my eyelids taped open. That was bad enough, but next to my crucifixion, was a worse picture. Jessie was kicking a very pregnant-with-kittens James in the stomach. James was screaming. There was a red line coming from between James's legs.

Scary.

Written under it was, "I know your secret. This is your future."

Nasty.

I walked right back to Jessie's door.

"Why did you draw that nasty picture of James and me?" I asked.

"Because both of you are Pokébestial freaks and you need to know what's coming," Jessie said.

"What makes you think either of us would let that happen?"

"One day, you're gonna wake up after fucking James's ass and know the picture was right."

I wasn't getting anywhere, so I just decided to give up.

James had come out of the bathroom and into our room. He fell onto the bed.

"How could she have found out about yesterday?" I asked myself.

I guess James must've heard because he said, "She must've heard us kissing."

We were silent for a while.

I sat by where James was lying down.

"Meowth?" James said.

"Yes, James?" I said.

"I've come to a realization. I don't belong with Jessie. I belong with you." James looked up at me. His eyes shone like emeralds. "I've found a place where I belong."

I imagined what James had been going through. He didn't belong with snooty rich people, but he didn't belong with Team Rocket. This was like the ending of a quest to find his place in life, like a spiritual kind of thing.

That whole experience had brought us together.

-O-o-O-

(James's point of view)

Meowth cleverly managed to buy me back. He ripped up the title deed and set me free.

Jessie was sent to a mental institution. She is on parole right now.

Caveat emptor, Jessica Romanova.

Meowth and I were together at last.

-O-o-O-o-O-

Moral of the story: Don't try to buy your friends. No, literally don't try to buy your friends, they're not property holy shit.

Bad Blood: Jessie Is A Crazy Ass Vampire. Yep, That's The Fic (part one of three)

Another story in which I try to write Rocketshipping and fail spectacularly. I seem to have done this a lot.

Content Warning: First-person mixed points-of-view; colorful language; violence; sexual abuse; blood mention; bizarre focus on James’s virginity (because of course there is); very loose understanding of medical and psychological issues; out-of-character behavior for James and Meowth; absolute character assassination of Jessie (she's Elizabeth Báthory now); just vampire things 🧛; Jesus Hades Christ twelve!me tortured James a lot in fic (blame it on the Strix, grabbin people's dicks, blame it on the au-au-au-au-au-Aufhocker)

-O-o-O-o-O-

(Meowth's point of view)

We knew Jessie was violent.

Our conversations seemed to be centered on revenge and fantasies of bathing in our enemies' blood.

We didn't really think about it that much. We thought she was just high on crack or watching too many horror movies.

We were horribly wrong.

(James's point of view)

Jessie really started scaring us. She kept trying to bite me. I tried to hide, but where could I hide in a tent?

Once, I went to bed and woke up with my pants off and Meowth guarding me. As soon as I noticed my lower half was showing, I squealed and pulled my pants back on.

"She tried to have sex with you. But she didn't get any part of your family jewels. You're still a virgin, James," Meowth said.

I was turning bright red. I knew because I felt my face get hot. I'm pretty sure I was as red as Jessie's hair.

Or blood.

I went into the bushes. My whole body was shaking. I threw up.

Meowth came out. "Are you all right?"

"No," I said.

"It's Jessie, isn't it? She tried to bite you and hump you," Meowth said.

I couldn't help gasping at the word "hump."

"I think….Jessie might be a vampire," I said.

"That's a little farfetched," Meowth said.

I believed him so I didn't think about it anymore.

(Meowth's point of view)

James and I were glad we were out in the woods because we could easily run away if Jessie got out of hand.

She did.

One night, after a messed up Pikachu plan, Jessie started cursing out James.

"You stupid bitch! How the fuck could you fuck up such an easy plan? What the fuck was so hard to understand about our cunting plan?" she yelled.

James was in tears as he screamed, "I tried my best! It would've been better without the pitfall!"

Jessie backhanded James across his face. James was knocked over.

Suddenly, I heard a rustle in the bushes. Jessie and James didn't hear it because human ears aren't as strong as Pokémon ears.

I looked over at the bushes.

"Jessie? What are you doing?!" said a familiar voice.

Mondo came out of the bushes.

Jessie didn't answer him. She just picked up a stick and started to beat James with it. Mondo ran over to her and grabbed the stick.

"What could he have possibly done to make you do this? Why are you beating him up?" yelled Mondo.

"He screwed up a plan for catching Pikachu!" yelled Jessie.

"Just because of that?! That's no reason to try to kill him," Mondo said. "Meowth, what exactly happened?"

I told him exactly what had happened. Every single move and quote.

"None of that was even partly James's fault. Why were you beating him up?" Mondo said.

"I know why," I said.

"Why? Is there something you're not telling me?" Mondo asked.

"Jessie won't tell and I didn't want to scare James, but Jessie's a psychopathical vampire," I said.

"But….Vampires aren't real," Mondo said.

"She keeps trying to bite James with her fangs," I said.

Suddenly we heard a scream. Jessie was holding James by his shirt and brushing his hair away from his neck.

"Jessie, don't!"

(Mondo's point of view)

Jessie touched James's family jewels.

That did it.

I tried to get Jessie off of James, but Jessie was too strong.

"Get off of me!" James screamed. He struggled, unsuccessfully, to get out of Jessie's hold.

Jessie bit James.

Meowth threw a rock at her ass.

Jessie got off James. James fell to the ground, unconscious.

Jessie got out her paper fan and—whack!

Meowth should wear a helmet.

I got James and his things. They were all in his backpack, along with his tent. Meowth was packed up, too.

I ran off into the woods, carrying James. Meowth was right behind me. I heard Jessie yelling, "Come back here with my Child of Darkness!"

We were safe from that blood fiend.

-O-o-O-o-O-

Moral of the story: Crack is an epidemic in the ranks of Team Rocket as well as in my fic.

Bad Blood: Boys Don't Work Like That (part three of three)

Eleventh-hour blueshipping and angst rears its head (the urge could no longer be suppressed; R.I.P. any hope of decent Rocketshipping in this fic). This isn't really about vampires anymore.

Part one is here. Part two is here.

Content Warning: First-person mixed points-of-view; colorful language; bizarre occult lore; very loose understanding of psychological and medical issues (seriously twelve!me does not seem to understand psychopathy or sleeping pills); abuse mention; suicide attempt; out-of-character behavior for James, Meowth, and Mondo; wet dreams are not boy periods, twelve!me; absolute character assassination of Jessie; Jesus Hades Christ twelve!me tortured James a lot in fic (I'm told this is not uncommon); James is a witch for some reason (and has a doppelganger)

-O-o-O-o-O-

(James's point of view)

I stayed in the bathroom for a long time.

I was so stupid. I should have known Meowth told me everything was fine just so I wouldn't get upset. I should have known everything was not fine.

I also should have known I shouldn't have fallen in love with Jessie.

How could I be such an imbecile? I knew Jessie abused me, I knew she was violent, yet I still loved her.

That just showed how stupid I was.

What if Jessie had tried to kill Meowth? Or Mondo? If she did, I would never forgive myself.

"James? Are you all right in there?" Meowth asked.

"I'm fine." I tried to keep my voice from breaking, but it didn't work.

Meowth knew I had been crying and came in.

I looked in the mirror. "I'm such a wreck. No wonder Jessie abuses me," I said.

Meowth started to say something, but Mondo beat him to it.

"Don't say that! You're not a wreck. Even if you were, that's no reason for her to abuse you like that. You're not even why Jessie went psycho. It's because of….well….I don't know. Some people are just like that. She's always had a bad temper," Mondo said.

"So it's not your fault," Meowth said.

I looked in the mirror again. I saw a boy with messy blue-violet hair, swollen areas under his green eyes, and a red flush about his face.

That didn't look like someone who wasn't a wreck.

When Mondo and Meowth went out of the bathroom, I used the toilet. I noticed my underwear was wet, but not with urine. I changed it and went out of the bathroom and pulled Mondo aside.

"Mondo? You know what wet dreams are, don't you?" I asked.

"Yeah, why?" he said.

"What age are boys supposed to get it?" I asked.

"Boys get their first wet dream when they're about eleven years old. If they don't then, the latest they can get it is fourteen."

"But what if they don't get it then?" I hoped I didn't sound worried.

"Then there might be an issue," Mondo said.

There was an awkward silence until Mondo asked, "When did you get your first wet dream?"

"I noticed my underwear was wet a few minutes ago," I said.

"It only happens when you sleep and dream about girls romantically," Mondo said.

"Then….I haven't gotten it yet," I said.

"You never dreamed about girls like that?"

"No."

"Or woken up and found your underwear wet before now?"

"No."

"How old are you, again?"

"Seventeen."

We stared at each other.

"I think you should go see a doctor," Mondo said.

We did.

-O-o-O-

Mondo and Meowth knew I was a witch, so they took me to a Witch Doctor.

I was trying to figure out how to explain the wet dream to the Witch Doctor. It might be a bit embarrassing, since the Witch Doctor was a woman.

The Witch Doctor walked in. "What brings you here today?" she asked.

I whispered, "It's about my wet dreams. They're coming late. I think my powers might have something to do with it."

"Then I'll have to let my assistant take care of you. He's male. He'll understand," the Witch Doctor said.

The Witch Doctor's assistant came out. He had shoulder-length blue-violet hair, green eyes, pale skin, and very familiar facial features.

"James, are you aware that this guy looks exactly like you?" Mondo asked.

"Yes," I said.

"Please, follow me into the examining room," the assistant said. I followed him in. His voice was the same as mine, too, except he had a different accent.

"What seems to be the problem?" the assistant asked.

"My wet dreams haven't come and I'm seventeen," I said.

"It's because of your undeveloped powers. They'll come soon, now that you've developed them," the assistant said.

When I left the Witch Doctor's office, I was unsure of what to think.

We took Jessie to the mental institution. She tried to bite me and….that abuse where someone touches you where they're not supposed to. I can't even bear to write the proper name.

It was just awful.

-O-o-O-

We visited Jessie the next day. I was the last one to go in. Jessie cursed me out as soon as she saw me.

"You screwed up such a fucking easy plan and you don't think your ass is getting fucked up?!" she yelled.

"Stop it! Just stop it! Stop blaming everything on me. I work as hard as I can to make our plans work, and gain your love, and—"

Gain your love?! Where did that come from?!

"You think I'd love you?! You're an imbecile to think anyone would love a fuck-up cunt like you," Jessie said.

Her words messed me up. I ran out of the room, crying. I ran out of the waiting room. Meowth and Mondo ran after me, but I didn't care.

I made it to our cabin. I ran inside. I locked myself in the bathroom. I could hear Meowth and Mondo talking in the living room.

I knew what to do.

I took out some sleeping pills and took about ten of them. I felt like I'd vomit.

I ran outside. Mondo and Meowth followed me.

I found a tree and climbed it. They saw me and ran to the tree.

"James, what are you doing?!" Meowth screamed. He started to climb the tree.

"I'm jumping," I said.

"Why?! You have a life, you have Mondo and I—"

"Yes, but for how long? I ruin everything. Jessie was right. I can't even do a simple plan right. Why bother living?" I said. It was getting harder for me to think clearly. My legs were shaking.

I jumped.

Mondo ran and caught me. I was startled and began screaming, "Why did you catch me? I was trying to die!"

"Don't scare us like that. Don't ever do that again," Mondo said. He was crying. I was crying. It began to rain. Meowth climbed back down the tree.

Mondo put me down. I fell to my knees and began to throw up.

"Oh, Jimmy, what did you do?" Meowth asked.

"It's the sleeping pills. I took them so it wouldn't hurt when I fell," I said.

I tried to stand up. I wobbled. I fell and Mondo caught me.

Then I blacked out.

(Meowth's point of view)

Mondo carried James back inside. James looked very pale.

Mondo put James on the bed.

"He took about ten sleeping pills. After I put him down, he probably threw up about half of them," Mondo said.

I brushed James's hair out of his face. Then I put a wet rag on his forehead. He began to regain consciousness.

"What happened?" he asked.

"You fainted," I said.

There was a moment of silence, then I asked, "Why did you do that?"

"I told you, I'm worthless. Jessie was right. Besides, who could love a screw-up like me?" James said.

"I could," I said.

James turned to look at me. Then we kissed on the mouth.

Lesson learned: Jessie and James don't fit.

However, me and James, well, that's a different story.

-O-o-O-o-O-

Moral of the story: Wet dreams are not boy periods. I can't believe that twelve!me needed to be told that.

Not so fun back story

Same tw from above

BTW: Your valid

I was originally gonna write a comfort one shot about this because I noticed there is a lack of comfort for victims of sexual abuse in relationships. Which is something I needed, but when trying to write it, it was too hard.

I know there still arguments today about if that's even possible ( which yes , it is) and I with the amount of people liking this post it make me feel more seen, and I hope others who may have related understand that there feelings and experiences are valid.

Idk I just felt like I need to say this

Angel past relationship hc

Tw for past sexual abuse in relationships

Angel doesn't know how to say no

In joking situations yeah, they say it alot

But when their partner is in needed

What are they supposed to do

It's rude to say no, deny them relief. That's what their past partners have taught them

So when David notices their disinterest in their activity. He stops, even when angel didn't ask .

Angel who's scared the messed it up

Dacid who comforts and assures angel that his favorite part os angels enjoyment. If they don't feel horny, neither does he.

And if he does, it his problem to deal with, not theirs

Reviewing the characters from the Nickelodeon TV series Victorious

Overall a lot of the characters could really benefit from therapy. And quite possibly a psychiatrist.

Both Jade and Cat have unresolved childhood trauma.

Cat has PTSD from being sexually abused, and to used hide in her closet, and under her bed in hopes of not being found. Also she was pushed to the side for said brother. Leading up to her passing out she felt helpless, overwhemled, and ignorged which triggered flashbacks, as well as a panic attack. And it is very likely that she could be on the lower functioning side of the autism spectrum. nd could have a mental disability that makes her brain function like someone who is younger. She could definitely benefit from psychological help, and I also think that it would be beneficial if she was put in some special ed classes such as social skills, or even life skills.

Jade's dad was emotionally neglectful, so it's pretty clear that she was never taught a healthy way to assert herself and to express her emotions. Which is a common side effect of having a emotionally neglectful parent. If you don't know emotional neglect is the most common forms of abuse. Also given the fact that her childhood seems to be a topic she doesn't like to talk about. A lot of the things she says and does to people could have very well been something that someone else did to her when she was younger. She seems to have some control issues. Which is common among survivors of childhood abuse because the feeling of helpless triggers them, and or makes them extremely uncomfortable. her only childhood friend was a hammer, which could have very well let her to be seen as possessive and have abandonment issues. She is worried that she will be replace by a girl who is prettier than she is. She needs help and Beck doesnt seem to be mature enough to help her in a healthy way that actually benefits her. Overall their relationship has a lot of red flag, for example off and on relationships usually aren't healthy .

Adre's grandmother shows signs of severe paranoia that keeps her from living a happy and fulfilling life. So I believe that she could really benefit from psychological help.

Tori and Trina's family definitely needs some family therapy. And their mom and dad needs to learn how to better parent their children. As well as be more understanding and realize that their kids could very well be psychologically or emotionally disturbed.

Trina, a girl who just wants to be a star. Has to step up and be her biggest fan because no one else will. No one wants her and is she is oftenly mocked , underestimated, and made fun. Even by her own sister. She isn't assertive when she needs to be. She needs to learn to let her guard down and accept help from people who really want to help her. ( people outside of her family and fun group who does not have a bias perspective of her based on her reputation.) Over all she could definitely benefit from having solo therapy as well.

challengers alternate universe.

trigger warning for sexual, physical, and emotional abuse as well as rape, cheating, blackmail and manipulation.

the timeline of this au takes place from 2010 to 2024 in a world where covid never happened.

art and patrick met in their freshman year of college in 2010. they both attended stanford university in california. art was majoring in sports marketing on a tennis scholarship and patrick was majoring in business. both boys decided to pursue tennis full time once they graduated, having fallen in love with the sport after just one practice. they quickly became the best doubles team in school and went on to win the juniors us open, earning the nicknames fire and ice along the way. there were rumors throughout their entire college career that they were dating, but both boys ignored the rumors. the truth was that they were dating and had been since a month into their freshman year, but they were keeping it quiet because patrick wasn’t out yet.

when they returned from winter break, it quickly became clear that their relationship had changed, and not for the better. patrick already had a habit of asking art to do things in the bedroom, and he pushed the limits of art’s boundaries until they broke. art would show up to practices with bruises all over him and he would brush them off as clumsiness or from prior practices or matches. if they suspected, none of his friends said anything. patrick’s abuse got worse and worse as the months wore on and art was looking forward to summer break so he could get away from patrick, not that he’d ever tell him that. patrick would use the fact that he wasn’t out yet to keep art quiet. if art told people about what patrick was doing, he’d be outing him, and both boys knew art would never dream of doing such a thing. so patrick was free to use art however he liked.

by the time their senior year started, art was miserable. he didn’t see any way out of his relationship and honestly he didn’t want to try. being away from patrick just made their reunions that much worse and he didn’t want to risk trying to leave and making everything worse than it already was. the day that the boys win the juniors us open, they meet tashi duncan. art falls in love almost immediately. when she arrives at their hotel room, art is incredibly relieved. the attention is off of him for a night and he wants nothing more than for tashi to stay. she doesn’t. patrick and art have sex when she’s gone and art hates it like he always does.

patrick and tashi start dating two days after that. patrick never broke up with art, but since tashi doesn’t know he and art were ever dating in the first place, it’s fine. he and tashi date for three months. art doesn’t meddle in their relationship. he tries his best to keep his head down and get through school and avoid patrick as best he can.

tashi gets injured. art is there for her. patrick isn’t. patrick and tashi break up two days after tashi’s injury. art helps her to get back on her feet and train as best she can. the three of them graduate in 2014 (tashi was at stanford on a tennis scholarship and she was majoring in sports medicine). art asks tashi to be his coach in june of 2015 and they start dating in august of 2016.

in 2017, art and tashi get engaged and are married in august. lily is born nine months later, in 2018. art’s tennis career has taken off. he wins two australian opens, two french opens and two wimbledons in the next two years. tashi’s coaching is getting more and more ruthless and she’s becoming less and less like the tashi art fell in love with. he and patrick are still meeting in secret and tashi and patrick have also started meeting in secret. they’ve been meeting since art and tashi got married. patrick uses lily against art, threatening to tell her and tashi what art has been doing and with who if art ever refuses to see him.

in 2023, art sustains an injury to his shoulder that removes him from tennis for a while. he returns to the sport in 2024 but it’s clear that he’s lost whatever winning streak he was on four years ago. tashi wants nothing more for him to get that streak back, so she enrolls him in a challenger in new rochelle, new york.

his competition is none other than patrick zweig. art loses the challenger but still manages to qualify for the us open. he wins the us open that same season. he divorces tashi and gets full custody of lily a month after his us open win. he also gets a restraining order against both patrick and tashi and retires from tennis that same year. in december of 2024, netflix airs two documentaries about the court cases and art’s life. he sues them, as he hadn’t given them permission to use any of the footage they’d somehow gotten, and wins. in the wake of the restraining order and the documentaries, patrick’s trophy and the money he’d won from the challenger are taken away. tashi also loses most of her credibility and has trouble finding people that want her to coach them.

art keeps out of the spotlight and only plays tennis when lily wants to play on the court at the local playground. he’s working on recovering from everything tashi and patrick put him through. it’s a slow process, but he’s hopeful.

art’s triggers

having his hair pulled

being touched or kissed on or near his waist, hips or hair

the colors red and blue

being called “sweetheart” or “baby”

being asked what he’d do for his partner and being expected to answer with “anything” or being told that his partner will do anything for him

being told that he’s the best thing to ever happen to his partner

being restrained in the bedroom

being marked (hickeys, bruises, etc)

being told he’s doing a good job in the bedroom

another note: because of art’s trauma with tashi and patrick, he avoids men and women that remind him of them for a long time. he becomes very internally biphobic and homophobic and will avoid bisexual and gay men if he can. he doesn’t mean to offend, he just doesn’t want to end up in a relationship like the one he was stuck in for fourteen years. he is working through the trauma they put him through, but it’s a very slow process.

TW: Mention of sexual abuse and rape

Writing tips, if you are writing about a toxic and abusive relationship, NEVER try to paint the abuser as someone who can be forgivable! Especially involving sexual abuse.

I've seen stories and stories many times where the victim always says "no, I know he's good" or "I can fix them" or "I'm too attached to them" and that makes me feel disgusted and angry. Especially when the writer knows it's a toxic relationship but tries to down play the abuse by saying "yeah, they care but in a fucked up way" to justify them being possessive and aggressive!

THIS IS NOT A JUSTIFICATION, THERE ARE NO JUSTIFICATIONS FOR ABUSE!!!

If this sounds like I'm mad, it's because I am!! I've tried exploring sexual abuse in the past with one of my au's, which I'm thinking about reworking, but in it the abuser treats his victim as property and not as a person, and the narrative paints this as something despicable and disgusting, why? Because he is a sexual abuser!!

So, for the love of God, STOP TREATING SEXUAL ABUSE AS A CHARACTER FLAW AND START TREATING IT AS SOMETHING SERIOUS AND HORRIBLE!!!

Thanks for listening to my rant....

On this year women's day, all we could think about are Palestinian women in Gaza.

Nearly 9,000 women have been killed in Israeli attacks in five months. Another 2,100 are missing and presumed dead, while 23,000 have been wounded and over half a million are displaced.

“Palestinian women, especially in the Gaza Strip, are exposed to the worst humanitarian catastrophe,” Ashraf al-Qudra, the health ministry’s spokesperson, said on Thursday.

Dozens of women and girls have also been detained and face harsh conditions in Israeli custody, including sexual abuse.

Women in Gaza also struggle to find menstruation products and access the necessary pregnancy and post-natal care. The consequences on reproductive health, including a rise in stress-induced miscarriages, stillbirths and premature births, have increased significantly.

Women in labour are undergoing caesarean procedures without anaesthetics, and a shortage of post-operative care such as medication, antibiotics and pain relief further exacerbates the situation.

According to the health ministry, 5,000 women give birth monthly in Gaza under “harsh, unsafe and unhealthy” conditions caused by Israeli bombing and displacement.

There are 60,000 pregnant women in Gaza suffering from “malnutrition, dehydration and lack of medical care.

There have also been repeated cases of Israeli soldiers mocking Palestinian women by posting videos and pictures of themselves rummaging through personal belongings in Gaza homes, making derogatory comments and posing with women’s underwear.

on post-traumatic hypersexuality:

(warning: this post is going to mention sex, sexual abuse, PTSD, ableism, and personal details about myself. keep that in mind!) 

i’m making this post because i’ve seen a lot of horrendous misrepresentations of hypersexuality, and misuses of the term. i’ve had people tell me they “can’t be hypersexual” because they’re ace, because sexual activity causes them stress, or literally because they’re “not gross”. all of these doubts are understandable for hypersexual people to have, but they’re representative of a massive issue the PTSD community has–our definition and portrayal of hypersexuality.

honestly, it’s more the people who don’t have PTSD who are talking about hypersexuality in a bad way. some people refer to it as the “opposite of asexuality”, a high libido, being crude, physically needing to have sex, or even being a sexual predator. that’s not anywhere close to true. in this post, i aim to explain hypersexuality in a more inclusive and accurate way, with personal examples for emphasis.

post-traumatic hypersexuality (hypersexuality following trauma and/or as a symptom of PTSD) can be defined as a perceived obligation to be sexually active, the use of sexual activity as a form of self-harm or self-destructive behavior, or the practice of basing one’s own self-worth on one’s sexual activity, availability, or appeal. it has absolutely no inherent connection to libido or sexual attraction, nor does it force a person to have sex. 

being hypersexual does NOT mean that you are “doomed” to have unwanted sex. you can, and should, abstain from any sexual activity (even masturbation and pornography) that harms or triggers you. on the other end, if anyone tells you that you have to have sex with them because they’re hypersexual and they “need it”, that’s manipulative behavior, and you have no obligation to do anything with them. hypersexuality doesn’t force anything upon anyone, and no matter how hypersexual you are, you still have agency and control over your own body and sexual activity. 

furthermore, hypersexuality and sex repulsion (being disgusted, scared, or otherwise negatively affected by sex) are not mutually exclusive. i myself am hypersexual and sex repulsed. most of the time, i can’t think about sex (or have it) for very long without having a flashback, sexual stimulation causes phantom pain, and i find the idea of sex to be gross and almost dehumanizing. my hypersexuality causes me to feel very ashamed of this, and to have a perceived obligation to be sexually active, which can cause such severe feelings of worthlessness that i completely break down. i spent much of my childhood and early adolescence forcing myself to have sex with people i hated because i didn’t know how to handle that feeling of uselessness. a lot of people experience both, and they do not dampen each other down; if anything, they fuel each other. 

hypersexuality can make you feel horrible. it can make you feel like you’re disgusting, or “sex-crazed”, or even like you brought on your abuse yourself because you enjoy it. it can make you think that you want or need to be abused, that you don’t have any value outside of sex, that you’re an object or a piece of furniture with the sole use of being sexually available. absolutely none of this is your fault, and there are many ways to treat hypersexuality. you will not feel like this forever.

some great ways to help with hypersexuality are:

abstaining from sex or sexual activities as a way of reclaiming your autonomy and proving to yourself that you have control over what happens to your body (or because the activities are hurting you)

setting firm sexual boundaries, refusing to entertain certain kinks or sex acts that you find “tolerably” gross, triggering, or dehumanizing

analyzing your sexual preferences and figuring out their roots and whether you really enjoy them (for example, “do i really have this kink, or did i just convince myself i have to do it because of __”)

reaffirming your real sources of worth and value to yourself

dressing in ways that emphasize the good parts of you that aren’t sexual, and doing activities that do the same (for example, when i was struggling worst with hypersexuality and literally thought of myself as an object, i dyed my hair blue and started dressing sort of like a child’s image of a fairy. i couldn’t look at myself and think “slut” because i literally looked like i was from a children’s book.)

working out the root of your hypersexuality and figuring out what specific things make you insecure, then countering them (for example, “my abuser made me feel like i had to have sex to be worth anything by doing/saying __, but i know that they were abusive and a liar, so nothing they made me think is true. i know that they were wrong because [value you have, something in your life that proved it untrue, blanket statement like ‘no human being is worth only that’.”)

giving purposes to yourself (for example, “my purpose is to help people and take care of my loved ones,” “my purpose is to [a goal you have, like a career goal]”, “my purpose is to work on/take care of [specific animal, plant, or project]”, etc. these can be religious or spiritual!)

de-sexualizing your body (i did this by drawing on myself with markers and then looking in the mirror at the patterns i drew! anything you can do to make yourself look or feel like something beautiful or at least non-sexual.)

forgiving yourself for your trauma, placing the blame for it on your abuser(s) rather than yourself. if you weren’t abused, or if you aren’t ready to blame your abusers, you can say that it was nobody’s fault. just know that it wasn’t yours. hypersexuality is very frequently a method of blaming yourself for your trauma, and forgiving yourself of your survivor’s guilt is a very good way to start healing.

thank you so much for reading all the way through! if anyone has something to add about post-traumatic hypersexuality, please add it. i hope this was inclusive!!

TW IDOLIZATION OF A R4PIST/SEXUAL ABUSER

This fandom… horrible, horrible place really

I never wanted to make a post about h3lluva boss or H4zbin h0tel or anything from v1vz13p0p. But here i am. Quick reminder THIS MAN IS A FUCKING R4PIST. But hey! It’s alright it’s all because he has a “cool” design. Yeah saying that is like saying that the most fucked up killer in the world who committed countless of messed up shit is “hot”. No, No in anyway that you’dfind this him guy “cool” he is far from it! Don’t find him hot or make fan merch/edits about him he is a sexual abuser! Viv please control you and your goddamn fandom because right now you are encouraging people to like a r4pist

This is sort of an emergency request, I still haven’t gotten over the trauma of being sexually assaulted at 15, raped at 16 and sexually abused at 17. So MC is dealing with her trauma and hates being touched unless she initiates it otherwise she flinches or runs away (I personally suffer night terrors) for either Leo, Arthur, Comte, Vincent or Theo. I understand if you’re uncomfortable with this request, just thought I’d ask anyway. Plz and thank you.

A/N: I hope this is any good and that I approached this somewhat well, if you ever need anything else, feel free to ask!

TW: dealing with trauma, night terrors

Leo:

Ok, in the begining, there might be some misunderstandings, because Leo is a touchy guy.

But as soon as you give him a sign or tell him you're not comfortable with being touched, he'll stop.

He will ask why, but won't force you to talk.

If you decide to tell him at some point, his reaction will be calm at first glance.

Trust me, he's angry on the inside that such horrible things happen mostly to innocent people, but won't show it, because it won't help anything.

He'll just thank you for sharing this with him.

And asks how that will affect your relationship.

He'll remember everything you tell him, what you are and are not comfortable with etc.

You can count on him to be with you through thick and thin, if you want him to of course.

He's more than capable of giving you space or comfort, whatever you seek at the moment.

Especially with your night terrors. Whatever you need, he'll try and help you get it.

He's just very respectful and supportive and let's you control how the relationship evolves.

Arthur:

Again, you might have a rocky start, since Artie is a heavy flirt.

However, once he sees how uncomfortable he makes you feel, he'll stop his advances.

I think given his deduction skills, he'd suspect that there's something more serious behind this behaviour of yours.

And that's exactly why he won't ask about it.

He has his own traumas and understands how annoying and invasive it is to pry.

So he bonds with you while respecting your boundaries.

Since he doesn't ask, he doesn't know anything, so he might help himself with his deductions when it comes to you and what you would and wouldn't be comfortable with.

Listens intently to anything and everything you decide to share with him, because he knows how important it is to have someone who just listens and is there, without comparing, or judging.

After that, he would probably act similar to Leo.

Comte:

Comte is a gentleman, so there's a big chance you'll feel the most comfortable around him and right from the beginning too.

He's not really one to invade personal space.

He has a great understanding of boundaries.

Definitely is a great buddy for night terrors too, he can soothe anyone and anything, because he's charming like that.

He would be one of the more protective out of the bunch.

It would be really subtle though.

He can't help but feel at ease when somebody's escorting you when you go out, even if it's just Sebas.

But no matter how much he wants nothing bad to happen to you ever again, he reminds himself that this is about you and not him.

So if you want someone to accompany you to do the shopping, he'll arrange it, but if you don't, he won't complain.

On the other hand, he loves how strong you are and how far you've come and that you're still working on dealing with everything every day.

And he'll show that that through many gifts ^^

Vincent:

Another one that you can feel comfortable around right from the beginning.

He, too, wouldn't ask any questions.

He doesn't understand like Arthur does, he just...doesn't feel the need to know. He understands that you have your reasons and you don't have to explain yourself.

I feel like he'd be a great person to come to when you're feeling down or after a night terrors.

No matter the time or if you've woken him up, he'll stay awake with you, trying his best to comfort you, even though it doesn't come to him as naturally as with Comte.

He also listens without interrupting.

However, expect him to cry.

He is known for being positive and happy and calm all the time, but he can't. Not now.

If Leo was angry because of what happened to you, Vincent would be devastated, crushed, but both for the same reason, you didn't deserve it.

He'll be careful with you. Like, super careful.

He knows you don't like being touched, but even if you initiate it, his touches will be feather light.

He just doesn't want to accidentally make you uncomfortable.

Theo:

I think in the beggining, his attitude might drive you away, but still don't see him as someone who would invade your personal space.

You could be straightforward with him and tell him you don't like being touched and he'd keep it in mind.

But I also could see him be the most curious one of the bunch.

He will ask why and if you don't tell him, he'll act offended for a little while, before he realizes that a) it's none of his business and b) it might not be an easy thing to talk about.

After that, you won't have any troubles with him.

His reaction to your story would be a mix of Leo's and Vincent's.

He'd feel devastated, but would appear calm and serious.

If you come to him with your night terrors, he'll try to stay awake, but given how much he works, he would fall asleep before you do.

In that case, just wake him up again. After a few rounds he'll be awake enough ;)

He'd wreck his brain to find ways to comfort you, since he isn't good with words and you don't like being touched.

He'd show he cares through being protective, however more visibly than Comte.

If you're going to a place where there's bound to be a lot of people, like the market or an event, he'll accompany you.

And if he doesn't have time, he'll ask Vincent, hell maybe even Arthur!

Also doesn't trust strangers around you.

If this would make you feel coddled, you'd have to talk to him about it, set boundaries.

He's hot headed, he means well, but sometimes scts before he thinks.

do you think bucky was sexually abused? that Selby scene in tfatws makes me wonder every single time

Thanks for the question.

I’ve tagged this post but just in case tumblr glitches, trigger warnings for: rape, sexual abuse, dissociation, sexual assault, imprisonment, torture, war, ptsd, mind control. I’ve probably missed others so read at your own risk 😬

The short answer is yes.

The longer answer is 1) unethical human experimentations were rife during WW2, and Hydra is supposed to represent the worst of them; 2) super soldiers were highly sought after for decades and we’ve seen no evidence it could be reproduced from Bucky’s blood, therefore they are likely to try more direct methods of reproducing a super soldier; 3) sexual violence is common during conflicts, and male survivors of war-related sexual violence are increasingly being recognised as a large population of silent sufferers; 4) dissociation may have been something Hydra wanted to achieve as part of Bucky’s mind control, and dissociative symptoms are commonly linked with extensive sexual abuse.

Before I go to the super long essay, I just wanted to say that the scene in TFATWS was most likely written as a snide joke (cos rape jokes are funny amirite, especially if a guy is the victim), but Bucky fans have read it straight because his traumatic past makes that suggestion a real possibility. Unfortunately, in the context of Zemo’s comment and Selby’s leer, that adds a possibility that I haven’t mentioned above — which is that Hydra wasn’t just sexually abusing Bucky as a power play or to break his mind, but they were deriving pleasure from the acts and offering him up for sexual favours…which, is so deep in HTP territory that it…says a lot about the sheltered life the creators live to pass that off as a joke.

1. Experimentation on POWs were horrendous during WW2. I happened to click on a collection of Japanese war crimes but the Nazis led a lot of the unethical research on their own front. For those who (rightly) don’t want to click, the Japanese were doing stuff like forcing prisoners to have sex with each other so they can infect the woman with syphilis and then forcefully impregnate female prisoners, then experiment on their babies. Or they were experimenting on prisoners to see the limits of physiology, like submitting them to severe frostbite, animal blood transfusions, unsafe vaccines, deliberate infections, and likely other drugs and poisons.

Prisoners were seen as subhuman, and particularly if you take the headcanon that Bucky may have been Jewish, there would have been very little ethical incentive holding Hydra back. Especially with the heightened healing ability, Bucky would have been a matter of great curiosity (not a good thing when you’re an experimental subject and a prisoner) and would have been subjected to inhumane experiments you and I couldn’t even dream up.

2. Now put this in the context of super soldiers being extremely sought after as a commodity. I use the word commodity because none of them have been afforded rights like humans. We know canonically, that experimentation on trying to create super soldiers continued for much of the 20th century. There were the unethical experiments on Isaiah’s squad, the “Winter Soldier program”, the Hulk, that Russian dude and probably more we haven’t yet heard of. This means that for those 70 years Bucky was imprisoned, Hydra wanted more of him, but ones that were lower maintenance, easier to control and believed their own values. We already talked about how they have no ethical limits on what experiments they might do. Without going into details, but when you for some reason can’t get more serum from his blood or recreating the formula, and you don’t want to or can’t clone, then the method left is reproduction by harvesting sperm.

3. As I’ve mentioned above (and if you clicked through to the article), sexual violence were extremely common during war and occupation against female prisoners. But what about towards men? Turns out, it’s not rare at all, except like many incidences of male survivors of sexual violence, it’s not talked about publicly if at all.

The proportion of affected victims are devastatingly high. This article addresses conflicts in Africa, but I can’t think of any cultural reasons why it would be different in Nazi-occupied Europe.

If you can stomach the article, it talks about the social pressures that prevent men from speaking up. The shame of being seen as emasculated, the strict gender roles enforced by society, the fear of losing their social supports and their loved ones. These are all psychological pressures that would have been relevant in Bucky’s time, given the general poor acceptance of sodomy and male victimhood, as well as (depending on your headcanon) his own perception of his sexuality, which may already be negative due to internalised queerphobia. The flip side of all this, of course, is that sexual violence is an effective torture method to cause shame, fear, self-doubt and suffering. It is a kind of pain that I have no doubt perpetrators understand the permanence of. There is no light at the end of the tunnel, there is no possibility of comfort even should they get back to their old lives, as all these male victims could do is to live in endless silent suffering. Importantly, it fractures your sense of identity especially if a large part of that is tied into enforced gender roles.

4. Lastly, while Bucky’s mind-control is movie science, I think dissociation, derealisation and depersonalisation are an integral part of his mind control process. Sebastian spoke of his headcanon that Bucky was “in a dream like state”, which sounds like derealisation.

And this scene of him placidly letting the Hydra scientists work on him and not responding to Pierce’s questions could be an episode of dissociation.

Dissociation is likely something Hydra wanted to achieve. We know that dissociation is very common in victims of prolonged sexual abuse. That is not to say that physical abuse alone couldn’t have caused dissociation. I haven’t looked up data for this but I’ve seen amputees describe the surreal and recurring flashbacks of seeing their limb beside their body and we know, canonically, that Bucky was awake to remember at least one stage of his amputation, so that alone might cause dissociative symptoms. That said, unless Bucky was already dissociating reliably, Hydra would try to worsen his dissociation by causing other trauma, and sexual violence as mentioned earlier causes the type of psychological injury that makes him vulnerable to them further degrading his sense of identity and self-belief.

This may be a bit TMI but as some who has experience sexual assault and was groomed by a pedophile at a young age, Elliot's mannerisms screamed that he had been sexually abused at a young age. His detachment from his body, emotions, bonds with other people, and particularly his aversion to physical touch/intimacy are cornerstones. His social anxiety is linked with this. After you have those experiences, the feeling of being violated and needing to protect oneself, physically and mentally, are core parts of yourself. Elliot is very hyper aware of his surroundings and is constantly on guard. He has trouble with holding healthy relationships because at an early age, he had the exact opposite of that as a child.

Your whole relationship with yourself and others people, is deeply damaged from sexual trauma. It's very hard to sort out emotions when you're still in the midst of the after effects of your trauma. Which you can be very blind too because the trauma effects one thing to the next- it slowly unravels over time.

Additionally: People who use drugs, do it for a reason. Poor Elliot is clearly trying to escape them through his morphine use. To find momentary relief. Most drug users have an emotional issues that they're trying to handle, and find themselves ill equipped. They emotionally cope by using drugs. It was quite nice to see a realistic depiction of what drug use is like, uses for, and the personal highs and lows of it.

Personally, I saw that scene coming for a long time... It was very unsettling.

Can we talk about 4x07 and 4x08 please

Mm, I agree with your thought about the first episode. It took me until ep 9 to know my feelings were correct due to the flashback at the Mr. Robot shop. At the series finale, Ep 10, things really snapped in place for me.

Can we talk about 4x07 and 4x08 please

I thought maybe people were blowing this out of proportion until I saw the poses and was geniunely disgusted. Has anyone reported the post? Surely depicting a child engaged in sex acts with an adult, real or not, goes against tumblr policy.

PLEASE READ THIS

This blog is providing a set of child abuse poses :

https://shailran627.tumblr.com/post/177867330466/bysruga-초딩-따묵-포즈-dwon-my-blog