The Week After We Died.

the week after we died.

a poem about life after the death of andre kriegman and calvin gabriel, written by me.

we lie on the cold floor,

brains and bone shattered and splayed on tile.

the body bags are too big.

they aren’t made to hold someone so small.

the strength and weight of our guns had left us.

with tortured minds,

our families tear through our belongings,

yearning for a letter, an explanation

of where they went wrong,

but they will find nothing.

they will go outside and spot the fire pit,

find the charcoals still smoldering.

burnt plastic and flakes of paper

that can only be explained by a tape,

by a video made in solitude.

the church refuses to hold our funerals.

we are buried with no celebration,

caskets closed for the sanity of others.

there is a family gathering for those who care:

our siblings, our parents, rachel, and mel.

our hell is our minds,

focused on one singular thought.

we go in circles,

finding ourselves in the exact place we tried to escape,

hurtling towards the point of extinction.

people are told not to live in the past

as if their loved ones do not reside there.

they are told that life will be better without us,

that life will be happier and more fulfilling,

but how can anything fill the void in which we used to reside?

we lie on the cold floor,

now only in memory and in mind,

as people avoid the space where we lay.

the way they swerve around the spot is almost natural,

as if we were designed for their hatred.

the week after we died,

graduation was halted.

the week after we died,

the police came knocking.

the world fell apart in the week after we died.

your posts are never shit, i love seeing all your posts on my feed even the smaller ones :))

can’t wait for the ao3 update either, im sure it’s gonna be awesome !

-🎀

bow anon, i love you. more than words. i wish i could give you a hug right now.

A house party at Rachel's house leads Andre to face his own loneliness. Cal desperately wants to help him but can't come up with the right words.

before zero day, do you think cal and andre were big on paintball or airsoft?

oh hell yes. they’d play against other people and have games. it might even be where the name army of two came from. the lieutenant nickname came from this too in my opinion.

andre definitely took it so seriously. he’d peek around walls and tip toe everywhere. cal would start laughing, and andre would look at him straight in the face and say “this is no laughing matter, calvin.”

andre would have full padding and camo and everything. he’d let cal borrow some, but it was so big it would slip down cal’s legs and arms. this left cal with bruises and little scrapes after they’d play a game or just mess around. the bruises would last for weeks. every time cal complained about them, andre would say some shit like “well, if you took it more seriously or were more prepared, maybe that wouldn’t have happened.”

JUST FINISHED READING OMG

even better than i imagined it would be, your writing style is beautiful and i love how you get such strong feelings conveyed with so little dialogue <333

your writing is so inspiring (as always)

(ps. hope whatever weight you’re carrying in your mind right now can be relived, very proud that you’ve stuck around, that’s hard to do :))

- 🎀

THANK YOU!!! i’m so glad you liked it oh my god. i had answered your other ask before i finished writing and i had your kind words on my mind <3333

i want to give you the biggest hug bow anon, i hate that i can’t

(and thank u, im sorry if i’ve dropped random sad things on u guys, your support means everything)

my username on ao3 has been officially changed to operationandre instead of holdingontoangels!!! yippeee!!!