Its Weird To Me That I Feel Like Im At A Point On My Socials That I Was At YEARS Prior On My Old Accounts

It’s weird to me that I feel like I’m at a point on my socials that I was at YEARS prior on my old accounts (that have been deleted or don’t go on and no longer updated them).

It’s both comforting and weird, but making the full circle is sort of satisfying?

As someone who suffers cherophobia (defined as the fear and or aversion of happiness, but for me it’s the fear of becoming happy and knowing something bad will happen immediately or soon after achieving happiness) I have felt this sort of satisfied for a few days now…

I post the positives in my life but yet I sit in fear knowing… waiting… and I hate it. I absolutely hate it.

So, a serious life update.

I have been working double shifts at my job just to make the hours I need to cover all my bills. And recently, the store I work at came under new management. With this, a lot of people have quit because it’s a very religious, close minded store, and the new owner and some of the workers clash heads. One of the ones that quit was my boss/manager.

It was today that I was approached and asked to slowly take over as manager to replace the one that left. I said yes.

A little of it is perhaps spite. That manager who quit absolutely hated my fucking guts and did little things to piss me the fuck off on purpose. They had confirmed this a couple times to other workers who told me. Not only having them come up to me and say it to my face. So, a little of it is spit, but also a lot of it is to try and help out genuinely as best as I can.

It’s also here that I ask myself, is it worth it? It’s an old mom and pop shop and honestly… the majority of me wants to help run it just so I can pay bills, but this store isn’t where my heart is… it’s being creative.

As an INFP, you can guess just how much I so badly wish to prioritize my creativity and passion to show off everything I’ve been working on… but can’t. With the long hours I’ve been working and new roles at work, I’m struggling…

I’m picking at my projects, many that I have started and unable to finished, and I’m getting little bits done here and there. Last month, I procrastinated so bad it was embarrassing… but I want to make this month better, different, productive!

With all that being said, I’m taking it one step at a time and hope that I can get something done by the end of this year. If not, I’ll keep trying.

To all of you reading this, thank you for taking your time to do so, I wish you all the best of luck and much love.

I have some other fics on ao3 that I absolutely need to rework and I will one day… life has just gotten too hectic at the moment…

As a retail worker, I once in a blue moon get tips, but the other day a customer dead ass walked across the street and bought me a fucking iced coffee and topped me that way😭

Bless you and best travels back home, miss!!❤️

I have wrote many great books…in my head.

My hair has gotten to the point I can pull an Abby Sciuto.