Otto Babbles On And On - Tumblr Posts
I used to preform in my school’s theatre productions. During my second year performing, I carved my initials into the floor backstage.
Today I feel the need to post this somewhere that isn’t my deviantart.
I don’t like to post about my personal life and I am just one of many out there, but today, I want to just lay it down.
I don’t like to talk about my personal life because I have a fear of the repercussions it may lead to and what I might cause to myself and the others around me.
Earlier this year I started going to a therapist and he helped a lot, bless him, but I haven’t gone back since due to some other major life changing events I do not wish to dwell on. My therapist helped me realize that a lot of my anger and anxiety, which the latter of the two being through the roof, was caused by my upbringing. In other words, my inability to contain my emotions and how to deal with a sticky situation was not taught well to me as a child.
Then, on top of that and unfortunately many years of my life later, I came to fully realize that someone very close to me was, in short, a gaslighting narcissist. This person put so much strain on me growing up that I didn’t realize it. When I would sense something wasn’t really right, or my words would get twisted by this person but I was unable to do anything about it, I thought it was normal to feel as I felt.
I grew up walking on eggshells, and still do, and fearing of upsetting them. I can’t even begin to list all the things they do and have done to me nor do I think I feel comfortable doing so. Since going to therapy and realizing all my anger, anxiety, depression, zoning out, on top of many other issues, we’re caused by a lot in my past I feel like I really want to try and push forward.
I say this but I know darn well I probably won’t. However, I do, at this moment, have a sense of at least wanting to move forward. I would like to work on my projects again and really focus on the things that give me a little spark of serotonin. For the past five years I have spent procrastinating and depressed and in slow motion due to my home circumstances. I hate putting the blame all on this person- even if it was mostly them.
I do want to look forward to organizing and encouraging myself to work, but I feel like everything almost does not ever go according to my plans. So I say again, I want to look forward to start a new chapter, but we’ll see how that goes.
Can’t have too much of a good thing, you know?
Fun Fact: I love fruit popping boba.
I knew the moment I started feeling the slightest but okay shit would hit the fan.
Even though shit hit the fan and I’m still stressed about it. In other news I cleaned off my desk and chair and washed them both. I am now able to sit at them once again.
I made another YouTube video after a year hiatus lol
So this cool story has sat for years and I just got around to editing it. Remember this good little sketch of a guy? Love him. That's Ridge:) He's in this fic. Give it a read if you like. Or are a board. Whichever:) Thank YOU in advance if you do! Much love and Best regards.
I know it’s not a viral number and mostly just piddly numbers. But the fact that there was 103 hits on my story is phenomenally blowing me away. This started out as a funny joke to write but then I did enjoy the story. Even though it’s a fanfic, it was just fun to write.
Even thought I don’t post a lot of my WIPs or projects because I have fears™️, when I do actually put something out even the smallest numbers make me feel warm and fuzzy inside, a soft fuzzy man am I.
I don’t usually care about the likes and reblogs so if you do any of those great but I’m not gonna beg or force anyone to do so. It would just make my day if anyone just skimmed through any of my profiles just to look around.
I wanna say a huge ass THANK YOU to everyone that does and who has read any of my stories on my ao3. You all are the best and make my world better each time you do.❤️
(Also ignore the part about it being a part of a bigger series. I fucked up there lol)
Reblogging because tomorrow it be Halloween 🎃
I actually really liked this movie lol sorry I’m late lol
As an Ace person, I do wear a black ring on my right middle finger because it makes me feel like I can show off my identity and orientation without excessively shouting it to everyone, while still showing it off. Mainly because I work in a very conservative workplace and it’s easy to pass it off as just a ring.
However
It cracks me up having customers ask how long I’ve been married for and how my partner is. And I get it! I get a lot of people have been resorting to a simple silicon ring, which is what I have, but it’s on the wrong hand.
Again, I know not everyone and their mothers are going to understand what a black ring is going to mean, but these are older people. It’s not just young people as well, but older people. Older people that have been married for years and know that I wear it on the wrong it. But again, they could be making a number of assumptions why I don’t wear it on “the right hand” but it just makes me laugh sometimes.
Got to the point in my life where I wear platforms to work and feel pretty cool with that.
I missed two comments because one: I’m not on a lot but still! And two: I straight up didn’t know you had to approve comments?? I’m just very confused and I feel bad…
What do you mean there’s comments on ao3 that you have to approve?? What is that about?
Grow my hair out, I said.
It’ll be fun, I said.
To have finally rid two of my stories of the category I previously had them under is a great feeling.
In no way do I hate the previous categories, that just wasn’t the same setting for the stories anymore.
I had been meaning to change them for a while but life is hectic and I kept forgetting. But now they are categorized as they should be.
Y’all… I think I’m gonna get really personal here… life update soon.
Low key really hate how well I think I look here lol.
It me lol.
Also! Here’s my other fic that has reached a hundred and one hits! These are small numbers I know, but they are more than I ever expected! You can read it here!
I have recently been rewatching some one soap operas and they are WAY more crazy than what I remember lol
I have some other fics on ao3 that I absolutely need to rework and I will one day… life has just gotten too hectic at the moment…
Also, I became an ordained minister the other day lol.