I Thought I Actually Fell For You NK...

I thought I actually fell for you NK...

Inner Demon

"I wish she died" I whispered quite audibly to myself "I wish they all died!" "Oh but honey, all you want is your own death. Their death won't make your pain any less" I heard my inner demon whisper back to me with a low chuckle.

Shape

I was trying you give you a definite shape. You are like a thought -all abstract- and yet so volatile causing a profound impact on my wretched being.

I felt so happy and in that instant moment my fingers itched to send you a text about my achievement to include you in my joy. But I didn't. You hadn't knocked me for a week after that last goodnight I sent you and how could I just text you out of the blue now like I always used to do? I used to do it; I did it a lot. But you see, you never knocked me first or initiated a conversation. It was always me texting you first and sounding needy even when I was telling you about my perfect day. I missed your presence in sadness and in bliss and you, you barely acknowledged mine. So I didn't knock you. And a wall started growing between us until there was just nothing more to say. But I miss you; I still do.