Pioneers-bitch

Pioneers-bitch

replace one word of your url with bitch

No one ever tell me anything bad about the person who runs this account.

It's "See how well you can follow instructions" time ya lil fuckers!!

Here's a poll, you can't press any of the options, that's the only rule, no voting. Reblogs, likes, and comments are totally allowed, you just can't vote

You all have one week, let's see how this goes

@maryland-no-rabies Tagging cause I need people to see this

Have fun !!

Have you ever heard of "Arcane aura architectural elongation" ?

It's the reason most old wizards live in towers.

You see air is more magic conductive than rocks or other solid , (hence why casting a spell on someone you can see through direct line of slight is easier than casting a spell on someone the other side of a wall. )

Well if spells are regularly cast within a building for years at a time then the following process will occur

The residual magic energy will rise upwards towards the ceiling and apply an upward force as it makes it's way through the building. The inherent nature of magic as something that causes change and growth unless otherwise curtailed means that this free magical energy will alleviate that pressure by simply very slowly growing the building. Every spell you cast your house will grow about a millimetre taller. Meaning if you cast a dozen spells a day then each year your house will grow 4.38M. within just a decade of a wizard living in it a house will have become a tower. Luckily this process also thickens the lower walls meaning that the tower remains structurally sound.

Although it can result in wizards butting heads with local housing estates who may consider these towers an eyesore, hence why wizard towers are also in the wilderness as the wizards don't want to deal with getting planning permission for a process they don't even control.

Okay, so I created an identify mold spell like I said I was going to, and I tried it out on a few patches of mold I found around.

Anyway, it showed that the mold on the moldy bread was not related to me, which is good, and it successfully identified the species of most of the other mold patches I tried it on... except for one patch, which the spell said was actually a small extension of an immense otherdimensional eldritch being known as G'tar the Ineffable into our level of existence.

So yeah, either the spell still has a glitch or two or, uh, I've got other things to worry about.

Welcome to wizard garage sale

Everything must go

(I'm moving to a new tower in another plane of existence and I can't take it all with me, because of import laws )

Talking skull £30

will tell you all about steam trains

Anti candles £12 each

produce darkness instead of light

Spare Spell book £25

Mostly conjuration and transfiguration spells

Komodo dragon familiar -NA-

Needs to go to a loving home. To be adopted not bought.

Magic beans £60

Will grow overnight into a magic beanstalk

Low level spell scrolls £1.50 each

Flying magic bicycle £499.99

Vintage, Top speed Mach 3, slightly scratched paint otherwise in good condition

Animated suit of armour £64

Named Reginald. (Warning not stainless. Reginald needs to be cleaned regularly to prevent rusting )

Assorted knick-knacks thingamajigs and doohickeys, 99p each. By one get one free

Enchanted Banjo £40

when played spits fire at 2300°C

Sturdy cauldron £28

Seen better days but still usable

Evil Cursed Sofa bed of despair £10

I don't know if it's the magic or just the design but this sofa bed is always just a tiny bit less comfortable than you can possibly bear. It's also possessed by an Eldritch entity.

(reblog and tell me what you bought so I can keep track of stock and record my sales. I don't want to be caught by the magic IRS, they use dragons )