im a lil genetic heretic freak an improbability of all natural possibilitiesim Alu/Sybili am 18 years oldmy art is SFWi have BPD and other mental disorders be patient wif meemo maine coon cat girl lala
65 posts
Plushymunchkin - Aluminium - Tumblr Blog
i like playing toys
i fucking lied haha get fucked
might post something about luigis mansion showcase progress later today idk
skibidi fortnite
i might do something luigis mansion 2 (dark moon) related in blender
i might make the gloomy manor as a showcase on roblox or something a bit smaller because im probably gonna give up on it either way idfk
To the Tumblr bot accounts that have NSFW imagery as their pfp's, do not fucking follow me and do not continue to follow me, I am a minor.
I will continue to block you if you have that kind of stuff posted on your account.
Thats really cool
obv dont rush yourselves with trying to get it out and please take your time with it
thank you for helping me go through hard times with what you all have made
@sparklecarehospital if you could redraw some of the older pages of sparklecare which ones would you do and why
@sparklecarehospital if you could redraw some of the older pages of sparklecare which ones would you do and why
thhfbvvbbv saving this 4 later
Various Boxes and Cylinders i've been into as of late
"you look like me" "yeah" "whats up bro"
I had this dream last night where I was in a shopping center with my parents (just to clarify I have extremely vivid dreams)
They said I could go wander around so I went into this store that was a bit like hot topic but from 2005 or something
My dream transitions into this giant store that was extremely feminine and extravagant from the same time period with a ton of people inside of it and I genuinely loved it
Then I realized that I stood out a ton compared to the others around me; my outfit was bland and I didnt look like a woman (I fucking hate my body)
Then I started to hyperventilate
Oh god what if some one sees some random dude in this store? What if they laugh at me and tell all their friends? What if my parents found out I was looking at stuff here? Fuck oh my god my parents will know Im trans I cant be here anymore I dont belong here I need to fucking leave
I remembered how comfortable I felt back at the hot topic like store and how I wouldnt be scared if someone saw me in there, but at the same time, I knew I was just suppressing my own feelings because its fucking cringe to see some bitch expressing themselves apparently
I absolutely dreaded my parents finding me in a feminine store because Ive heard one of them clearly say "a man thinking he is a woman is a genuine mental disorder" and I remember stuff from my dreams that happen in the real world
Also the people making fun of me part came from my experience in grade school with me having to switch to online just to get rid of them but I feel as though if I wasnt bullied as much as I was I feel like I wouldnt be as smart as I am now (I am not saying this to justify what they have done to me mentally and physically)
Looking back on all of this right now as I write this made me think what I need to change in my life to get rid of all of this fear and cowardness to every single thing I listed them below
One day, I need to come out to my parents Im trans
I need to improve myself physically and make me not hate myself
I need to go to some sort of social place that I feel safe at
I need to stop regretting that I wrote things like these when Im pissed off because it makes me think Im showing signs of weakness so that people have more ammo to mentally fuck me with
Focus on the important things first at a pace I can go to
These feelings will be gone soon enough I need to do this for a bit longer
Remember uni cornelius
i wish i was fucking good at something
by coldoctober
holay bolay
bitch rants
okay so believe it or not i actually wanna get my fucked up life together and have something to look forward to after i come home from work/school so im gonna try out godot i guess im not gonna look at what anyone else is making bc that will automatically make me not want to do shit anymore
In regards of 3D modeling how do you keep going with projects and not give up on them
I have adhd and when Im stuck on a specific part I basically just give up on it or dont do it
All the things I want to make are either too hard to make in blender or it just looks bad even though Ive been doing blender for 3 years
"it looks bad" i think is the key here. dont be afraid of your work looking bad, know that it will improve over time if u stick at it. 3 years isnt that long. it took me 15 years to get to where i am today with my 3d art and trust me, when compared to the art i was pushing out 3 years in its night and day.
keep at it! u will improve! i believe in you!!
Mkay so Im gonna be either quitting the jazztronauts map project or taking like a half year break from it here is my reasoning
1. No body gives a shit or will give a shit
2. I expected myself to texture shit with proper bump, metal, and roughness maps (Ive never fucking done that)
3. It will look like dog shit if I did finnish it
4. I couldnt give a shit about it either
im sorry
autistic rant
Holy moly boly shamoly frambony canoly I just finnished luigis mansion 3 and like I lobve it so fuckklingg mucshhhhhhh like every little detail like how they portrayed the main characters with their personalities to the silly ass funk ass smoke grass fucking combat is like so abbababababababababa truly
As a kinda semi game dev I can see all thje silly lil details and everything AND the amount of things you can interact with and how many models they had to make for everything is like so fucking good
also the nostalgia boners that came in luigis mansion dark moon references were rlly nice
also also king boo is hawt and should be the new political leader of america bc he cool and supports queers
