For No Nut November Ive Invented The Arete Labs Nut Emancipation Grill (inator) Which Annihilates All

For No Nut November I’ve invented the Arete Labs Nut Emancipation Grill (inator)™©℗ which annihilates all nut materials on contact. That's right, no chestnuts, hazelnuts, pecans and walnuts allowed inside MY testing chamber!!

My Nemesister, who is allergic, thinks she can use it to screen food for peanuts. I dunno why. Peanuts aren’t scientifically speaking actually a nut, they’re a bean.

nemesis relationships

superhero; *ties me up* me, gay villain; “kinky" superhero; *quips at me then throws me into jail at the speed of light destroying several buildings* sidekick twink; *ties me up* sidekick twink; “i have a boyfriend” (their boyfriend is the superhero) me, gay villain; “dang” agent superspy; “hey, wanna try bondage?” me, gay villain; “hell yeah!” agent superspy; *ties me up and takes my launch codes* agent superspy; *leaves* me, gay villain; “dang” boymoder magical girl; *ties me up* me, pan villain; “kinky” boymoder magical girl; “you fool you absolute buffoon do you have any idea the meaning of the words you speak you could not even begin to comprehend the levels of kink to which i delve daily i’ve seen things you would not even believe you little sponge” me, pan villain; “puppy girl?” boymoder magical girl; boymoder magical girl; “n-no" boymoder magical girl; (to self); "dang” dommy mommy superheroine; *ties me up in full shibari and talks about taking me to jail* (kinky) me, oblivious pan villain boyfailure; “dang” hardboiled dilf private detective; *ties me up* me, gay villain; “kinky” oblivious hardboiled private detective manfailure; *ruminates on all the possible meanings of this new puzzle i’ve presented him with. a threat? a hint?? just a passive remark??? what could it mean????* antihero; “h-hey, don’t get the wrong idea here! it’s not like i like you, or anything! i just dispense justice indiscriminately, baka!”  antihero; *shoots me in the head* me, gay villain; *dies*

Organic Chemist: Everything left of the staircase on the periodic table is metal.

Inorganic Chemist: Actually, boron, carbon, aluminum, silicon, arsenic, tellurium, and astatine are metalloids

Astronomer: Everything but hydrogen and helium are metals.

Physicist: all nonmetals become metallic under very high pressure and low temperature.

Biologist: I think there's like one type of snail that has some metal in their shells 🤷

Paleontologist: I became a paleontologist because dinosaurs are cool

Astronomer: I became an astronomer because space is cool

Chemist: I became a chemist because explosions are cool

Archeologist: I became an archeologist because Indiana Jones is cool

Mycologist: I. Fucking. LOVE. Mushrooms.

Paleontologist: Uh…

Mycologist: IWillLiterallyMurderYouJustSoICanWatchFungiBreakDownYourDecayingRemainsDon’tTestMeBoneBoy

My life long dream is to be a living exposition dump for earth lore

I see an old mentor character in a movie who lives for five minutes to explain dragons then dies and I'm like, yeah, I could thrive as that

I wanna find some kid with like worm specific powers who I could tell them about the life cycle of planarian worms then clock out

After chemists first made gold-xenon bonds and realized they could make practically anything bond to anything by abusing the atoms enough.

Poor berylliums getting all their electrons stolen