Hate It When My Coworkers Ask Me How Im Doing. Like, Fuck Off. You Dont Want An Answer. You Want An Im

Hate it when my coworkers ask me how I’m doing. Like, fuck off. You don’t want an answer. You want an “I’m doing alright, how are you?” which is a fucking lie and makes me feel bad for being a liar. But you don’t want the truth. And when I tell you, you look at me like I’m the crazy one here for… *checks notes* being honest? If you didn’t want me to say, “I can’t tell if I wanna die, cut myself, try to get high off my meds, quit this job and disappear, or just go to sleep,” then you shouldn’t have fucking asked.

Also, loving how whenever my mood gets bad, my pain gets worse, and the other way around. It’s a cycle that I can’t escape from and all I wanna do is sleep all day. But I have fucking insomnia.

This would work on me. Not even gonna lie

How to catch me

“You make life worth living”

- guy who’s been avoiding me because I asked for his help when I was having an anxiety attack

“I don’t want to break up”

- guy who has been avoiding/ignoring me ever since said anxiety attack

“I’m sorry I hurt you”

- guy who proceeded to hurt me again (I lied and said it didn’t hurt because I’m scared he’ll leave me)

“I’d never lie to you”

- guy who confessed to lying to me about taking his depression meds because the refill got delayed (this has gone on for two weeks)

“I won’t take my anger out on you”

- guy who has been doing just that for two weeks

Yes this is about my partner. I need him to be close to me. I need him to go the fuck away. I love him. I hate him. I think we should get married. I think we should never talk to each other again. He’s my favorite person, unfortunately for both of us.

No, I’m not okay

I feel like there are two types of people I could theoretically be in a relationship with. Someone who’s emotionally stable would be ideal, but let’s face it, such a person doesn’t exist. So I need someone who’s just as fucked up as me. Sure, it would be a nightmare and we’d kill each other, but it would be fun for like a week, and I already feel like I’m dying all the time.

Laughing so hard at this and I’m not even diagnosed

"stop making BPD your whole entire personality!"

it might seem crazy what I'm about to say