Jaune: *prepping Dinner* Hey, Thanks For Setting The Table Emmy!

Jaune: *prepping dinner* Hey, thanks for setting the table Emmy!

Emerald: *folding origami cranes* No problem. Thanks for letting me stay here.

Jaune: Well I know how it can be, being driven from your childhood home. Even if it was a dark depressing place. The air thick with a pressure and the constant threat of-!

Emerald: Look, a duckie! *holds up one of the cranes*

Jaune: Hey neat!

Have you ever been on a bing read through a fanfic you like, when all of a sudden one chapter takes you right out of it and makes you unsure if you want to continue?

-Inside Elevator-

Jaune: *Presses call button and waits*

Ironwood: *Walks up* Ah, hold the elevator!

Jaune: *Starts rapidly pressing the button over and over again*

Ironwood: I’ll remember this! What’s your Huntsman ID number?

Jaune: It’s 1142-Eat my ass! *Door shuts in the generals face*

Ironwood: *Groans and starts pressing the elevator call button, to no avail* Come on!

Weiss: This B needs a C in her A.~

Jaune: Oh my God!

Weiss: This babe needs a coconut in her arms?

Jaune: Oh. I thought you were saying, "This b**** needs a c*** in her a**."

Weiss: Oh my God!

Jaune: Yeah, that was my reaction. I'll go get us some coconuts.

Jaune: ... h-here's your coffee. *Clears throat* Here is yo... Dammit. *Takes a deep breath before turning around* Here's your coffee.

Coco: *Behind Camera* Cut! Come on Jaune, what was that?

Jaune: *Point at cup* Coffee?

Coco: No. That performance!

Jaune: I'm sorry. This is just my first actual role, so I'm a little nervous.

Coco: Look, it's ok. Just try more... Happy?

Jaune: *Smiles* Here's you coffee!

Coco: Hm, give me unhappy.

Jaune: *Frowns* Here's your coffee...

Coco: Sadder.

Jaune: *Tears up* Here's your coffee!

Coco: Sadder!

Jaune: *Cries* Here's your coffee!!

Coco: Come on Jaune, your wife's dead! Sadder!

Jaune: He-... Wait, I don't have a wife.

Coco: Now you do.

Pyrrha: Hello Again! *Gets shot by Coco off to the side* Ow.

Jaune: Oh my GOD! My wife is DEAD! Here's your COFFEE!!

Coco: Eh. How about... Here's your coffee.

Coco in Jaune’s clothes: Here's your coffee.

Coco: You can do better than that.

Jaune: Here's your coffee.

Coco: You can do worst than that.

Jaune: Here's coffee!

Coco: Give me more.

Jaune: Here’s ya coffee!

Coco: No, more coffee.

Jaune: *Lifts up giant cup of coffee*  H-here's your coffee.

Coco: Two cups?

Jaune: *Has two cups in his hands* Here's your coffee.

Coco: No cups?

Jaune: *Cups disappear, splashing coffee all over his hands*  ARGH!

Coco: Do it in French.

Jaune: Voici voter café.

Coco: Do it in France.

Jaune: *Over at France*

Coco: Nope, can't hear ya.

Jaune: *Walks in in French clothing, holding a baguette* Hey, I'm back.

Coco: Alright, forget everything.

Jaune: *Looks at his hands* Who am I?

Coco: Let's try roleplay.

Jaune: *Playing a D&D campaign, he roles a 20-sided die* 18!

Dungeon Master Coco: It hits.

Jaune: Yes!

Coco: Now do it like... You're a passenger on the Titanic, the lifeboats are full, and the coffee's your baby.

Jaune: *Dressed like an early 1900′s mother with the coffee wrapped in clothe* Please, mister, take me coffee. Give him a good life, don't let him drown!

Coco: Now do it like a sleazy guy at the bar.

Jaune: *Dressed like Neptune* I like my coffee like I like my women!

Coco: In your pants?

Jaune: In my pants! *Pours coffee down his pants before screaming in agony*

Coco: *Chuckles* Now do it like a musical.

Jaune: 'Milk, coffee beans, and water

Mix 'em all up just like you oughta

Little bit of shug to make it sweet

Cup o' mornin' brown just can't be beat'

Coco: Now do it like your whole life has been leading to this moment. As if the culmination of all the trials and tribulations you've experienced have been leading you to this one, single juncture... Jaune, I want you to picture everything that has come before you and everything that's yet to be and decide that, in spite of it all, there is no place, no time you would rather be... than right here, right now.

Jaune: *Lets out a relieved sigh before smiling contently* ... Here's your coffee.

Coco: Meh. How'd you do it the first time?

Jaune: Here's your coffee.

Coco: Perfect! Cut!

Jaune: *Breathes a sigh of relieve* Thank god.

Coco: Alright, now let's move on to the blowjob.

Jaune: Sorry, what?

Coco: Jaune, this is a porno. *Points over to the actor he’s been doing this scene with, Neo, as well as the many toys on the table*

Neo: *Dressed as a scantily dressed CEO, licks her lips as she looks him up and down*

Jaune: Ah. That would explain him.

Sun: *Operating the microphone from the side, while also being completely nude* You alright dude?

Jaune: Yep.

Neo, caught and apprehended by The Hunts-Man, is stuffed into the back of a car, to which he uses it to drive her to the authorities.

Jaune: You ran a real good race there, buddy. But it's the end of the road for you. The law is gonna throw every book they have at you and after that, they're gonna throw you in a cell and after that, they're gonna throw away the key and after that, they're gonna throw that... cell... into a lake!

Neo: *Rolls her eyes*

Jaune: (Thoughts) But not before I throw a few things at her first. We're gonna play pin the tail on the donkey. But she's the donkey, and the tail, is my feelings. But I shouldn't get ahead of myself. I only get one night with her to fill the hole in my heart she left behind. It's finally time to get some answers.

Neo: *Looks at him confused* (Thoughts) Did we sleep together at some point?

Jaune: (Thoughts) What? No! We didn't sleep together. The hole is a metaphor for when you stabbed me in the- *Pauses and turns over to Neo with a look of shock*

Neo: *Stares back at Jaune, before looking past him and holds up a small sign that simply said ‘Car’*

Jaune: *Looks back to the road and shouts as he nearly crashes into someone*