Jaune: Guys! I Thought Up An Awesome Prank On Ironwood. Im Gonna Put Ink On His Podium Where He Places

Jaune: Guys! I thought up an awesome prank on Ironwood. I’m gonna put ink on his podium where he places his hands.

Ren: I don’t think he’ll fall for that.

Nora: I did. *Raises ink-stained hands*

Jaune: How? I didn’t even open the case yet.

Nora: *Shrugs* Something unrelated I guess.

Blake: Ironwood hates pranks though. This is gonna backfire.

Jaune: Fine, I’ll tone it down. I’ll… move his podium a foot to the left.

Weiss: What?! He’ll be so angry.

Jaune: Okay, 5 inches.

Weiss: 5?!

Jaune: 3?

Weiss: 3?!

Jaune: 1?

Weiss: 1?!

Jaune: Alright, I’ll move it half an inch.

Weiss: Fine, your funeral.

Jaune: Oh my god. *Scoots podium half an inch before heading to his seat* Worst prank ever. This is so stupid, Ironwood’s not even going to notice.

Ironwood: *Enters room to the podium* Good morning. *Stops and stares at podium* E-Everyone thi... The podium it's...

Everyone: 🤨

Ironwood: *Chuckles* ... hehehe... HaHaHa! HAHAHA!! You're crazy! How'd you pull this off?!

Jaune: *Wielding an axe* Boy, it is time. With Ragnarok coming to our doorstep, our wait shall come to an end. No matter what, I have faith that I... No... We will be able to take on all that come our way. Are you ready boy?

Adrian: *Holding a toy bow and arrow* Mista!

Jaune: Good boy. *Pats his head*

Terra: What am I looking at?

Saphron: Don't mind him, he's just excited his game is getting delivered today.

Terra: Ah, I see... Hey, when did he grow a beard?

Saphron: A what now?

Nora: I'm just happy to be out of those dorms. So much fresh air. And it's all mine. 😈

Jaune: I personally love the peace and quiet. A guy can really hear themselves think out here.

Jaune: (Thoughts) Did you leave the stove on? The door unlocked? Will you die alone?!

Jaune: Well that was a mistake.

Roman: The kingdom is doomed Hunts-Man! I've poisoned the water supply!

Jaune: Actually, because you poisoned the water supply, we discovered that the kingdoms pipe infrastructure is really severely outdated. So thank you for bringing our attention to that. Millions of people could have gotten really sick over the next few years.

Neo: 😐

Jaune: Secondly, because you snuck past the security system so easily, we found out that funds specifically for that security system we're being embezzled by government officials, so we busted a major fraud ring.

Neo: 😦

Jaune: And finally the pathogen you unleashed does give people mild diarrhea, but we found it also is a great source vitamin C.

Roman: Okay, whatever! Take this! *Shoots Jaune in the shoulder*

Jaune: *Reels in for second, before getting up and rolls his shoulder a bit* You fixed my shoulder.

Roman: God damnit!

Qrow: Hey, I wanna set you up with my neice.

Jaune: Oh, I'm already dating Ruby.

Qrow: I thought you were gay.

Jaune: ... Then why are you trying to set me up with her.

Qrow: I don't know.

Weiss: Sister, why go through all this effort?

Bleiss: *On phone* Life is effort and I'll stop when I die!

Jaune: N-No, ma'am, I'm not on the menu. That would be cannibalism.

Jaune: Y-Yes, that includes my butt, too.

Jaune: N-No, ma'am, we don't serve that kind of milk. It would be unsanitary if we did.