Ozpin: *Hands Newborn To Summer* Ms. Rose, Is There Someone You Want To Cut The Cord?

Ozpin: *Hands newborn to Summer* Ms. Rose, is there someone you want to cut the cord?

Summer: H-Her daddy.

Qrow: But Tai's not back yet.

Summer: Qrow, Tai had a vasectomy after Yang. Come here.

Qrow: What are you saying woman?

Summer: This baby's yours.

Qrow: I still don't understand.

Summer: Qrow, we had sex and you knocked me up.

Qrow: Slow down, slow down!

Summer: This baby is your hatchling.

Qrow: Aww!

Qrow: ... Wait a minute. What do you mean?

Summer: You're a daddy!

Qrow: From when?

Summer: Sometimes, the one you slept with 9 months ago was right in front of you all along.

Qrow: Aw Short-Stack. Gimme that cord. *Pulls out scythe*

Ruby: Uncle Qrow, if you die, do you want to be buried or cremated? Like, if you were hit by a bus today, what do I do?

Qrow: Go after the bus driver and make him pay for what he did to me. Avenge me, Ruby. Avenge me!

Jaune: Deal.

Salem: Very well. When you return home tonight, your mother will be in pristine health again. It will be like she never felt ill at all. Even the memory of her suffering will fade.

Jaune: Thank you so much. She means everything to me.

Salem: I know, I know. Let's hope the price wasn't too much for you after all... Only time will tell.

Jaune: So... When do we start?

Salem: ... If I may ask you to elaborate?

Jaune: You said you wanted my firstborn.

Salem: Yes? And you agreed?

Jaune: Yeah, so, when do we start?

Salem: ...

Salem: *Blushing* Ah.

100 posts!

Ruby: Was it good for you?~

Jaune: I can't feel below my waist.

Jaune: Hey Neo, mind if I get some of your popcorn?

Neo: *Smiles at him and holds up her scroll* Go right ahead. Get yourself a good handful~

Jaune: *Reaches into popcorn, but feels something odd* Oh ha ha. Real funny Neo. This a hotdog or som- *Grabs hold of it*

Neo:

Jaune: ...