Thetraitordemon:

thetraitordemon:

He actually felt a mix between feeling like things were tearing apart as well as an almost….wild adrenaline rush. No…something was definitely not right. There was a bloodlust in him. Something he shouldn’t ever feel but, it felt oh so familiar at the same time. An old corruption starting to burn further and further.

But a concerned voice did catch the his ears. A smile forming on his face.

“No...I’m not there yet, don’t worry about it,” he added, trying to add innocence into his lying tone.

Lunarre knew a liar when he saw one. There was a serpent under the rose, and he was baring his fangs. Malevolence was thick in the air, and Lunarre knew it was only a matter of time until...

Lunarre knew he could leave the seraph behind, let the darkness consume him. At one time that would have been a spectacle he would have been happily privy to, but not now. The hellion clenched his fists.

“Shit.”

With Kimuri like this it was unlikely he would let himself be led anywhere.

“Sorry, Gramps. Wherever ‘there’ is, I’m not lettin’ you go!”

Before Kimuri could answer, Lunarre delivered a swift uppercut to the seraph’s jaw. The seraph was out before he even hit the ground.

Gazing down at Kimuri’s unconscious body, Lunarre sighed before picking the seraph up and slinging him over his shoulder. Without further delay, Lunarre raced into the woods. 

He wouldn’t stop until the air had cleared of malevolence.

I presume by ‘back then’ Mikleo is referring to when Lunarre first joined the Sparrowfeathers.

This brings up two problems - a smaller one about the logic of this theory vs the bigger one about malevolence. 

1. The Smaller. Lunarre’s ‘Lie’

Mikleo wonders if Lunarre was a hellion from the beginning (joining the Sparrowfeathers two years prior) and had been lying his arse off to explain away his past and whatever strange occurrence that may have cropped up in the next two years as a result of him being a hellion.

There are several problems with this logic. 

Firstly, we find out a little earlier from Rosh that when Lunarre, then a thief, tried to steal from the Sparrowfeathers, they responded by giving him a beating. 

Would a hellion take that? Would a hellion like Lunarre not retaliate upon being attacked?   Would a hellion anything like the one that ATE A MAN WHOLE continue to peaceably follow around the very people who beat him up? 

Secondly, at the point Lunarre encounters/joins the Sparrowfeathers, Dezel has been with them for three years. He has been solo, bent on vengeance, and capable of using Rose’s body as well as acting on his own to suit his purposes. He is ruthless, uncompromising and will tolerate no threat to Rose or the guild, and certainly not a hellion. And because he is using the ‘pure’ Rose as his vessel, he can do literally anything and get off scot free. 

Dezel would have known Lunarre was lying to the Sparrowfeathers and that he was a hellion (Dezel may be blind, but he could still sense these things!) right from the off.

Mikleo’s theory suggests that Dezel allowed Lunarre, a HELLION, to join the guild and STAY THERE for two years under his watch. Dezel let a dangerous threat like that just hang and hope he wouldn’t try anything funny? 

No. Sorry. Dezel would have killed him first. He would never have allowed Lunarre near the guild if he had been a hellion at the time.

Thirdly, if Lunarre had been lying about being happy to be part of the guild, having been alone practically all his life prior, a lowly thief, then all of his actions as a hellion in the story make absolutely no sense. 

His obsession with killing Alisha alone, his fear of Rose, his attempts to explain himself, his rage at Rose’s references to him as part of the family, his rage towards Rose in general and so on. Being set off by the mentions of family, and his comments towards Rose when she stabs him, also entirely lose their meaning. Unless Lunarre was so far gone that he began to believe his own lies after having just made them up on the spot.

Nope. Not buying that either.

2. The Bigger. Malevolence.

We know from an early scene in the game in which Sorey and Mikleo encounter a child thief in Ladylake. Said child has become a hellion.  The child even expresses interest in eating the two of them, a sentiment often expressed (and acted upon) by Lunarre.

From this we can see it is possible for Lunarre to have already been a hellion when he joined the Sparrowfeathers prior to the events of the story. Like the boy he had also been a thief since childhood, alone. 

From what I gather from playing the game, malevolence gathers from the darkness/negative emotions in a person - anger, guilt, grief, etc. 

There is also the factor of inner conflict, or lack thereof. If you believe yourself to be vindicated and right in what you’re doing then you accumulate no malevolence, as happened with Rose (even though she stated that murder is a ‘sin’ ... nevermind).

But by this logic, shouldn’t both Lunarre and the thief boy have been vindicated and thus pure? Presumably both were thieving because they had no-one else (Lunarre definitely had nobody else to depend on) and believed that was their only means of survival. Yet the thief boy and, at some point Lunarre, became hellions and someone like Maltran - who chose her path to darkness and felt vindicated - kept her human form?

Later on in the final confrontation with him, Lunarre cannot be purified because he feels so damn strongly that he is right to feel the way he does. If that was the case, why did he even become a hellion in the first place, regardless of whether here that he only became on after joining the Sparrowfeathers or before? He felt absolutely justified, yet unlike Maltran he became a monster with no hint of internal conflict whatever. 

The whole thing just makes the concept of malevolence, the particulars, so much more confusing than it already is. You can plot the end of the world and still be pure as long as you believe in yourself/your actions (same goes if you commit mass murder *cough* Rose *cough*), but you steal a purse and you’re a monster regardless of whether you’re vindicated.

???????????

You can delete this if it's too strange, but I suffer from depression and recently thoughts of suicide have made a nasty come back, I've been crying for 3 days and while I won't act on the thoughts they are there. I know Lunarre isn't exactly known for kindness, but could I have some encouraging words from him? I love him and it would make my day. I'm sorry if this is weird and dumb please delete it if you don't like it.

“The mind’s a wicked thing, isn’t it? It plays tricks, twists things, makes you see the world as a dark and evil place. A bit of good old anger, sadness and so on is good - healthy, but take it from me that if you keep it in, it grows and does more harm than good. 

That’s when you need others to help you see things as they are, not what the bad thoughts say they are. It’s tough, and more often than not you might think it’s better keepin’ it all in, but take it from me in the end even the people you wanted to protect by keeping quiet get hurt, because they love you and want more than anything for you to be happy. Family and friends would happily take on your troubles to help you see ‘em packing. When you all pull together, that’s when the magic happens. Corny, yes, but true. 

I was all alone, I only had pain and anger for comfort at night. I thought it made me stronger, I thought that’s what I really wanted from my life. But it was only after gaining that power that I realised I’d robbed myself of the thing that gave my soul peace - a family. I was so afraid of screwing up and lettin’ the boss and the others down, I kept it all to myself, and when it all got too much, I... well, I let the feelings consume me. 

All that time I could have talked to somebody, told ‘em how I felt, got them to understand, but I didn’t. I shut myself away, and then I ran away. For a time I thought I was satisfied with the power I got, but as I said the feelings that had caused me to become that creature did nothing to heal the pain. Being apart from others and stewing on them, finding crazy ways to forget it, only increased the ache of the loss of the thing I wanted most.

I got that back from other people - watching them all struggle against the odds, all bandin’ together, helpin’ one another, I felt hope I hadn’t felt in a long time. I felt I could still kick the asses of the demons that I thought had beaten me. They helped me realise what I was missing - companionship and purpose. Helpin’ Sorey and the others gave me purpose, and being around them made me remember how good it felt to be around other people. It’s wonderful to know there are others who are there for you and who’d do anything for you.

That’s why you can’t hide yourself away with those thoughts and those feelings. It’s times like these where the people you love need you just as much as you need them. You can band together and kick the butt of those thoughts. They can give you perspectives and options you might not have even thought were available to you. That way, no matter how many talks or tears it takes, you can breathe easier, you can feel a little lighter each time, and get back the strength you need to give those thoughts the what-for.

Because if I’m anything to go by, anybody can do it. The strength’s inside you, and no matter what life throws your way, you can throw everything you’ve got right back at it. Visualising that helps some - visualize kickin’ the shit out the depressive thoughts, crumpling them all up like pieces of paper and throwing them in the garbage. It helps get the confidence going, and that’s just one step you can take. One of many. You can do it!

Sometimes you need the help and support of others, and there’s never any shame in that. As long as you are happier for it, it was all worthwhile.

That’s all from me for now - hope I’ve said some things and given you some peace of mind. Don’t worry, and don’t be afraid to ask for help - be that from me or others. Your happiness matters - your life too.”

psa -- halloween. 🎃

my blog may be SPOOKY and I may be STOKED for all of the SPOOKY-AES in regards to the season, but my blog will NOT contain any of the following; screamers, jumpscares, graphic content that isn’t tagged, or disuturbing images that may disrupt the peace on your dash. 

shepherdiing:

Sorey’s gaze swings to where Lunarre points, having to squint and tilt his head a bit. ❛ A very fat one, ❜ he agrees after a moment of consideration before looking about at the rest of the puffy shapes in the sky. Nudging Lunarre he gestures to another one ( tickled that the hellion was playing along ).

❛ That one’s a pie! I wonder what flavor? Man… why do the clouds have to look like food it’s making me hungry. ❜

Lunarre can’t help but chuckle. He could have told the kid the cloud looked like Heldalf’s arse and Sorey would have agreed with him in his good-natured way.

“Same here. Ya know, I used to get into these crazy eating competitions with Boss - I mean, Rose - a few years back. I’d take her on again if... you know, we’re ever at an inn or...”

The hellion finds himself getting almost sheepish as he trails off. He isn’t comfortable talking about future days with the group so casually, not least because of how tenuous his position within it is. He’s grateful he’s lasted this long, all things considered. 

thetraitordemon:

Trying to grasp the situation Kimuri moved a hand to his jaw wincing on the pain as he tried to grasp just what was going on. Lunarre’s words barely registering for him. The air was getting less heavy meaning…they were moving away from the malevolence. But…

That wasn’t the right way. He needed to go further, a place with that much malevolence must have something related to what he’s looking for!

...Maybe...it was a risk he was willing to take.

Breathing deeper he looked to the ground as it moved. 

“…You’re going….the wrong way,” he muttered as he tried to steady is groggy mind. Internally wishing he had an arte to help himself right now. But healing wasn’t fully on his side.

It took Lunarre a moment to realise what the seraph’s words meant, and when he did, he exploded.

“You want to go back to the dragon?!” he shouted. “Are you fucking insane? No way in hell!”

Righteous anger. Lunarre knew the feeling well, but it was tinged with unease. He didn’t know if he could restrain Kimuri if the seraph got his strength back and decided to fight back. Right now his control over the situation was balanced on Kimuri remaining out of commission until they were far, far away.

Fuck. He hated this. Why was he going so far for one crazy old half-blind seraph? Since when had he lost sight of his vengeance? He hadn’t felt like this since...

“Just... shut up and let me concentrate!”