I Spent The Day With One Of My Bestie And We Had So Much Fun. At The End Of The Day, We Sat On The Sofa

I spent the day with one of my bestie and we had so much fun. At the end of the day, we sat on the sofa at my place and finally I couldn't bear not to confess my feelings for R to her. (Yes, I didn't dare to tell her until now) So since I didn't know how to tell her, this conversation took place between us:

Umm listen, I think I like R...

Ohh, I knew it!

HUH????? 🤨😦

Why are you looking at me like that? Ofc I know girl, I'm your best friend!! I'm surprised you haven't gotten him pregnant with your eyes yet. *rolls her eyes*

(i think she knows me lol)

Today we had lunch together at school!!!😳

It was lunch break and I bought a sandwich in the cafeteria and he just asked for a coffee, and when he saw me he greeted me and asked if I wanted to sit down for lunch with him. (he brought food in a box with him) and I say yes sure! (WTF SIR???!) Anyway, I would have eaten with my friends and they looked at me quite surprised when I sat down with R at one of the tables. lol

I was a bit shy but R just talked to me casually. He talked to me a lot and showed me some pictures of the little kitty, which I said was the cutest. Then he asked my opinion about keeping the cat. It seems that he is quite serious about adopting the kitty, he was so cute and enthusiastic about it.

(oh and I might add that he's still wearing my bracelet!) <3

but really girls.. what if he spends Valentine's Day with someone else? He's handsome, funny, smart..PERFECT!! I bet a thousand women are lining up for him.🙄 I urgently need to know what he is doing that day because I am going crazy lol

IM HIS WIFE OKAY??? *delulululululul*

(someone calm me down with a little delulu thank u girls)

ྀིྀི

hey *pssst* old man my bestie wants to say that...

I have stepped back a bit since my father informed me that I should look around my own age group. I felt I had to do this because I was scared. Since then I haven't even spoken to R, I haven't written him back and when we met at school I didn't pay him much attention, I just said "hi" and lived my normal university life. However, my repressed emotions began to break out and the fact that I saw him, but he wasn't smiling at me but at the other girl, or that he wasn't paying attention to me bothered me. I felt a kind of distance from him since the gathering, so I think that's why he didn't force us to talk. But because I kept suppressing my feelings, I became very sensitive and irritable, and my friends didn't understand that either. Of course they don't understand, how could they? I could never admit to them that I like R, (although I'm starting to feel that everyone knows.)

Today I felt that I couldn't hold back anymore when R walked past me in the corridor but suddenly stopped me and asked if I was okay. It's the first time since then that he spoke to me and I wanted to boldly say yes, but when I opened my mouth not a sound came out. I felt a lump in my throat and tried to fight back my tears, but I couldn't really hold them back anymore. Then R came to me quite quickly and I could totally see that he was worried. Then when he asked what was wrong, it didn't matter to me... I simply couldn't hold myself back and I fell specifically for him and ran into his embrace. Yes, I hugged him after several days of not speaking. He didn't say anything, as if he knew that I just needed a hug right now and let me cling to his shirt and crumple it well. Then he hugged me so tightly that I even cried a little... He had no idea that He was the reason I was crying. I ran into the arms of the one for comfort for whom I cried. I quickly stopped and apologized to him, and before he let go, he said quietly: "You know, if something bothers you, you can tell me"

No. I can't say that you are the one who presses my soul. That you are the one who has made me feel like a living dead for days. That you are the only one in whose arms I can find comfort and simply collapse into you I still want to feel.

What a bitter story.