
| She/her | 20s | ♒ | INFJ-T | ♾ | 💜 | Avatar&header image not mine-credits to the rightful owners❤️
206 posts
Before I Leave You (Pt.52)
đź’śđź’śđź’ś
Before I Leave You (Pt.52)
(Omegaverse au, Mafia au, Bts x Reader)
Summary: Summary: Jimin and Jungkook might not be the /best/ at giving you aftercare, but what they lack in execution they make up for in sheer determination. Sometimes, love is the best medicine.
Tags: Sub drop, Angst, Self-deprecating thoughts, Self-esteem issues, Hurt, comfort, Tears, sex scene Negotiations, vibrators, voyeurism, pleasure-dom jimin, pillow princess m/c, discussions of past sexual and physical abuse (nothing that i don’t believe hasn’t been touched on prior), mentions of death, medical stuff,Â
W/c:Â 8.6k
A/n: Ah, this is a chapter, am i the most proud of it? no. but thats okay! i hope people will like the hurt/comfort! i think i needed to write something like this for bily. i know bily is long but! this is probably one of the most intimate chapters i’ve written so i like it for that fact, and all the subtext in it!Â
Previous Chapter - Masterlist

Yoongi’s not waiting in the house for you when you get back from the gym. He’s not even waiting on the porch. No- he’s on the street, eyes frantic and flannel misbuttoned like he’s been listening for the grumble screech of Jimin’s car. Like he started walking down the street the second he heard it.
He hardly even wants to wait for it to thud to a halt. The smell of metal and gasoline gunks up your stuffy nose, keeping you from scenting him. His hands are so soft on you when he makes to pull you out of the car and Jungkook’s lap although the omega clings to you. A half-affronted noise leaves his throat. bereft as you’re transferred from one packmate to another.
But Jungkook would never deny Yoongi this.
Your mates’ hands shake, trembling when they cup the back of your neck. “Oh- my little sweetheart- I’ve got you- I’ve got you-”
Keep reading
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More Posts from Softieyn
đź’śđź’śđź’ś
baby (you complete us) 4

C H A P T E R Â F O U RÂ
summary: Soulmates were a common occurrence, so common, in fact, that the world sought an easier way to find your other half: A bracelet that would scan your mark and match you with those who shared your mark. Within recent years, soul groups were becoming normal, and your own bracelet said you have seven matches.
Or where you wear your bracelet for ten years, and finally give up the hope you would find your soul group, only for BTS to put theirs on and see what they were missing.
genre: soulmate au, idol au, angst, fluff, eventual smut,
pairing: Idol BTS x Disabled MC
warnings: angst, mentions of depression, disabled mc (Ehlers Danlos syndrome), eventual smut, fluff, lots of fluff, mentions of disability, simp bangtan
chapter warnings: some awkward moments, feeling overwhelmed, talks of pain and discomfort, mc’s shoulder shifts, disability discussions, jin and yoongi being protective,Â
*words in italic are being spoken in Korean*
taglist: @imnotlauriane​​  @mageprincess7​​ @m1sss1mp​​ @0funsite0​​  @strawberry-moonpies​​ @this-isthe-way​​ @singukieee​​ @btsw1fe​​ @gooooomz​​  @fluffy-canada-pancakes​​ @carolinexkpop​​ @agusfree​​ @sakurarukas​​ @iamkookiesforyou​​ @skyys-universe​​ @toughbook​​ @plutoneu​​ @whisperssuga​​ @welcometomyworld13​​ @yuzon3​​ @wittyreader​​ @jnghs​​ @cyd0129​​ @exfolitae​​​ @queen-in-the-shadows​​​ @nen-nyy​​​ @pandxthings​​​ @schniti-is-in-the-house​​​ @juju-227592​​​ @jinseartharmysmoon​​​ @wooya1224​​​ @ddaeng-angmoh​​​ @gratefullygrateful​​​ @rorythme​​​ @gratefullygrateful​​​ @kimrona​​​ @jjjj-ssi​​​ @maysgarden​​​ @lovelgirl22​​​ @doublebunv​​​ @reallysparklychaos​​​ @jayjayy-57​​​Â
permanent taglist: @m1sss1mp​ @yourleftsock​ @skyys-universe​ @cryingpages​ @strxwbloody​  @drissteele​ @dustyinkpages​ @iamkookiesforyou​ @crushedblackroses​ @fluffy-canada-pancakes​ @blaaiissee​  @iiitsmaria​  @carolinexkpop​  @azazel-nyx​ @strawberry-moonpies​ @g-h-o-s-t-b-a-b-i​ @knjkitten​ @kleirielk​ @foreverweareyoung7​ @lachimolala22019​ @namuficxs​ @94z-93​ @kimgmzmc​ @thenaverse​ @dahliasbouqet​ @black-rose-29​ @tinyoonsblog​ @take-u-2-an0ther-w0r1d​ @stellauniverse​ @stupendouscookiehumanmug​ @tinyoonsblog​ @veronawrites​ @tatyhend​ @singukieee​ @m0v3m3ntsblog​ @lilcritan​ @exfolitae​ @butterymin​Â
masterlist // chapter 3Â // chapter 5
—————————————
Previously on baby (you complete us):
“I’m so sorry, Y/n, but we have a meeting to attend with our directors. Thank you so much for giving us a chance and we will definitely talk to you soon.” Namjoon’s dimple smile had your full attention as everyone said their goodbyes and promises of contact. Even as you said goodbye and the video call was ended, you had their bright smiles burnt into your cornea.
After checking to see if your phone still had some charge to it, you were quick to go to your phone app again, this time to your recent calls list.
“Hey so I think your joke isn’t so much of a joke anymore…”
Keep reading
đź’śđź’śđź’ś
Before I Leave You (Pt. 51)
(Omegaverse au, Mafia au, Bts x Reader)
Summary: you’ve never seen Namjoon this angry before, but you can’t say he’s not rightfully upset at You and Hobi. Not every punishment can go according to plan…
Tags: Dom! Namjoon, Sub! Hoseok, Sub! Reader, Non-sexual punishments, non-sexual submission, Spanking, Safe word usage, puppy! hobi, Puppy play, under negotiated scenes, Eventual Sub drop, self-esteem issues, bruises, shame, angst, hurt/comfort, talk of murder, descriptions of past medical trauma, implied anxiety attacks, Namjoon is lowkey having a trauma response in this,Â
W/c: 9.7k
A/n: while this might not be my best work- it is a chapter that i kinda like just cuz it’s a bit heavier on the angst tbh <3  why does Bily keep getting longer and longer? Btw- there is a little bily discord server too! its been really nice to talk to people and come up with little Bily headcanons and i usually give sneak peeks and spoilers for chapters <3 even if you don’t want to talk you should still join!Â
Previous Chapter - Masterlist

Guilt hammers through Hobi’s chest, as bright and sanguine as blood. Guilt for the kiss, guilt for putting you in danger, and guilt for getting you in trouble. The list is endless. It tinges Hobi’s fiery soul dark red. Like poison seeping slowly through his body, rendering his usual thoughts incapacitated.
Not even the scruff can extinguish the guilt. Hobi manages to keep his legs mostly under him but you don’t get off quite so easily. Limp and in need of an arm to support you around the waist as the pack alpha drags you over the threshold like a mother cat carrying a kitten that had wandered too far from the den. You’re dizzy as he sets you on the couch. Â
The living room is dark except for the light in the corner which Namjoon flicks on. Every one of his movements controlled and careful. Even angry, with his arms rippling with power when he shucks off his robe, he’s so careful to keep his movements slow and intentional.
He doesn’t want to spook either of you.
Keep reading
đź’śđź’śđź’ś
baby (you complete us) 5

C H A P T E R Â F I V EÂ
Summary: Soulmates were a common occurrence, so common, in fact, that the world sought an easier way to find your other half: A bracelet that would scan your mark and match you with those who shared your mark. Within recent years, soul groups were becoming normal, and your own bracelet said you have seven matches.
Or where you wear your bracelet for ten years, and finally give up the hope you would find your soul group, only for BTS to put theirs on and see what they were missing.
Genre: soulmate au, idol au, angst, fluff, eventual smut,
Pairing: Idol BTS x Disabled MC
Warnings: angst, mentions of depression, disabled mc (Ehlers Danlos syndrome), eventual smut, fluff, lots of fluff, mentions of disability, simp bangtan
Chapter Warnings: not much, anxious feelings, insecurities, joint dislocation, talk of kink, yoongi being a tease,Â
masterlist // chapter 4 // chapter 6
taglist:  @imnotlauriane​  @mageprincess7​ @m1sss1mp​ @0funsite0​  @strawberry-moonpies​ @this-isthe-way​ @singukieee​ @btsw1fe​ @gooooomz​  @fluffy-canada-pancakes​ @carolinexkpop​ @agusfree​ @sakurarukas​ @iamkookiesforyou​ @skyys-universe​ @toughbook​ @plutoneu​ @whisperssuga​ @welcometomyworld13​ @yuzon3​ @wittyreader​ @jnghs​ @cyd0129​ @exfolitae​ @queen-in-the-shadows​ @nen-nyy​ @pandxthings​ @schniti-is-in-the-house​ @juju-227592​ @jinseartharmysmoon​ @wooya1224​ @ddaeng-angmoh​ @gratefullygrateful​ @rorythme​  @veronawrites​​ @xiusmarshmallow​​ @xicanacorpse​​ @kalala22​​ @ok-boke​​ @namjoonswaifu​​ @sweetcheeksdna​​ @hyunjingin​​  @promiseokza​​ @mushroom-main​​ @bookluver01​​
permanent taglist: @yourleftsock​​ @cryingpages​​ @strxwbloody​​  @drissteele​​ @dustyinkpages​​ @crushedblackroses​​  @blaaiissee​​  @iiitsmaria​​  @azazel-nyx​​  @g-h-o-s-t-b-a-b-i​​ @knjkitten​​ @kleirielk​ @foreverweareyoung7​​ @lachimolala22019​​ @namuficxs​​ @94z-93​​ @kimgmzmc​​ @thenaverse​​ @dahliasbouqet​​ @black-rose-29​​ @tinyoonsblog​​ @take-u-2-an0ther-w0r1d​​ @stellauniverse​​ @stupendouscookiehumanmug​​ @tinyoonsblog​​ @veronawrites​​ @tatyhend​​ @singukieee​​ @m0v3m3ntsblog​​  @exfolitae​​ @butterymin​​ @queen-in-the-shadows​​Â
———————————————
Previously on baby (you complete us):
“I guess I should thank you for the box then, Yoongi?” You lean forward, causing the male to blush a little. He just nods shyly and says you’re welcome with a shrug of his shoulders.
“Well, thank you a lot, Yoongi. I appreciate the package and will make sure to wear this to the airport.” You smile, your small cheek dimples poking through as you do making Namjoon smile back. You move the items back in the box as the others shout protests. Claims of cheating thrown around, all of them wanting you to wear something they picked out to the airport.
“Maybe next time, you guys!” You try to ease the play fighting, thoroughly amused by the proud smirk on Yoongi’s lips.
Keep reading
đź’śđź’śđź’ś
cry me a river | the pawns

— summary: when pawns are used well, they are the soul of the chess. you might as well take advantage of what you’re given
— pairing: bts x reader
— genre: angst, mafia!au
— word count: 6.4k
— warnings: none
— PART 22 / previous post / masterpost
“Why did she call you buttercup?”
“Buttercups reminded her of me,” you answer Yoongi as take your steps into Bangtan’s manor for the first time in weeks. “Bright and yellow, pretty little thing.” You pause. “And a weed in her path.”
“She was never on your list?”
“Nari had always been insignificant,” you say with arms crossing over your chest, wanting to leave it at that.Â
But Yoongi isn’t satisfied with the short answer. “You never told me how the two of you got involved.”
“What can I say,” you shrug, “the Vipers were our ally so inevitably, we met. I caught her attention with my face and she grew intrigued and envious.” He told you his history so you might as well entertain him with yours. Just a little though. Only a little. “I’m sure you know it better than I, your little sister—”
“She’s not my sister.” He’s quick to cut you off, stern and firm. Yoongi isn’t someone who cares too much about the things that leave people’s lips. He lets them yap off as much as they’d like, so when he does ever speak up on things, you know just how serious he is.
So you nod, sending him a tight smile. “Right, right. That little celery,” you correct yourself, “she can get a bit crazy when she doesn’t get something she likes, or when the attention is shifted away from her.”
“She’s never had her attention shifted away in the times I lived in that manor,” Yoongi says and you give him a blank look.
Small little Yoongi, probably just the same as you who never received attention and love and was just seen as nothing more than an heir who was meant to fulfill his role. On the other hand, you never saw your father loving another, or even having the ability to love at all. There’s a bit of comfort knowing your father was incapable of feeling, so he had no one to show it to and you had no one to grow envious of, even though it did take you a while to get smart about understanding him. Yoongi on the other hand had to grow up seeing his father show his affection to someone else.Â
He got out quicker than you though, and fled the scene before things could go downhill.
You came to a realization too late. It was your body that had to force you to “wake up.”
“So imagine what it was like when that moment finally came to her.” Up the stairs and to the right. It’s a bit funny you’re getting used to navigating through this manor like it’s your own. Once upon a time, it was yours. “The spotlight switching from her to me gave her quite the scare.”
Yoongi opens the door to Namjoon’s office and you walk in casually.
“I met her before I met you,” you say and he gives a moment of pause before following you right in when you take your designated seat, the same seat you’ve always taken whenever you walk into this room.
Namjoon’s already sitting across from you, taking a sip of coffee from his cup with Seokjin stood to his side as his second in command. Yoongi takes his position on his leader’s other side while Mingyu stays to your right.
“Do you know Alexander Larsen?” You start without hesitation, leaning back into your seat and trying to make yourself comfortable.
In truth, you will never get comfortable.
“Alexander Larsen?” Seokjin raises a brow at your question. “You don’t mean from the Norwegian mafia, do you? You’re not talking about the Kingsmen, are you?”
“So you do know of him.” You cross a leg over the other, feeling satisfied.
“You want to go after an old man?”
“It’s not the grandpa I want to go after, it’s his son.”
“Karl Larsen?” He shares a brief glance with Namjoon, expression marked with hesitation. “That’s a bit…”
You ignore his trailing comment to continue your point toward Namjoon. “I’d like to get close to gramps and I know you have connections to do so.”
“He’s a don, Y/N. A Godfather. A Norwegian Godfather,” he stresses. “You don’t know who you’re messing with.” Right from your proposal, he’s already denying his offer to help but you’re not about to back down.Â
“You told me I could use you as my pawn,” you remind him of the contract the two of you made a few weeks ago. “You aren’t supposed to ask me questions and force me back on my plans just because a certain man I want to go after happens to have a Godfather as his father. If I get close to Alexander, my plot against his son would be much easier.”
“It isn’t easy getting close to Alexander,” you hear a different voice coming in through the door but you don’t have to look to know that it’s Hoseok. “Going after a Godfather is the equivalent of signing off your death certificate.”
“Not to mention Alexander is linked to the Italian mafia and you know how dangerous they are.” You roll your eyes when Jimin follows along.
It feels like being scolded all over again.
“Why’re you leaving the scope of Korea?” Taehyung asks.
“Are you deliberately trying to get yourself killed?”
“I said no questions,” you point directly at Jungkook who in turn ignores it by looking away, and return to the boss who sits at the center of them all. “If you’re scared, you can just say that.”
Namjoon frowns at your words, shaking his head subtly. “I can get anyone for you, Y/N, but I don’t want you messing around with foreign mafiosos.”
“What’s wrong with that?”
“You’re trying to walk into a battlefield.”
“The whole world has been a battlefield, Namjoon, and just because this particular boss is tougher than other soldiers out there doesn’t mean it’s enough to have me back down. I’m not backing down. I want Karl Larsen dead.”
“It’s dangerous territory.” Still, he denies you the help.
You let out a frustrated grunt. “That’s what you said the last time I proposed leaving Korea.”
“Yeah, and remind me what happened last time?”
Hwang Leehyun.
A living nightmare.
You cross your arms across your chest when he hits you with that, their eyes piercing without any hints of backing down and you suddenly have this urge to punch someone in the face. It feels like being in the eyes of your father all over again, being told you cannot do this or that, that you must do that and this. Like a child who does not, who can not, make her own decisions without the permission from her parents.
“Why do you even care whether I make it out okay or not?” So you snap with a click of your tongue, anger fueling. “This is my mission and my plot against the person I want dead.” You turn to Hoseok. “I’ve already told you I don’t care what happens to me down this path I’m walking on. If life decides it’s done with me, then so be it.”
If I die, I die, you told him once and Hoseok, frustrated in his own sense, turns to your right hand man instead of facing you.
“Aren’t you going to stop her?”
When all eyes fall on him, Mingyu has to take a moment to spare you a glance. You, who shoots a glare at Hoseok for even thinking of looking to him rather than addressing you. And knowing just how you feel, your commander answers in a calm tone.
“Whatever the boss wants, I provide and clear the path to let her get through. It is not my duty to stop her, therefore I hold no protest.”
Hm. Good answer.
“Just what are you feeding your Reapers?” When Hoseok turns back to you, you send him a cheeky grin.
“Loyalty. They’ll always take my side no matter what wrongs I’ve committed.” You look at the rest of them. “You should know about that.” And a bit of awkwardness they clearly don’t enjoy too well walks in, but you decide to ignore the effect those words had on them. “Mingyu knows his place and he knows what his title entails. It’s not his job to stop me. He’s here to clear the path for me and back me up, all the while doing what he can to get me back on my feet if things start going downhill and provide protection.” You give a little pause before adding. “You should learn from him.”
“The last time we let you do what you wanted, you ended up hurt.”
You frown at Seokjin when he says that, eyes avoiding his because you know just what he’s trying to imply. That moment of weakness you had turning to him. Why did you make that mistake?
You were just desperate to find a safe haven after what Leehyun did.
“The only thing with Karl is that he’ll get out my angry side, that’s all,” you say, resting back into the seat you’re in. “The situation won’t be the same. He wasn’t a creep, just some asshole psychopath who should have minded his own business.”
You and your stubborn streak. Namjoon knows you don’t have it in you to let your plans fall to a pause just because someone declines the help you’re seeking for. So he lets out a sigh, fingers pressing into his temples. “Like Hoseok said, getting a Godfather involved in your plans is the equivalent of choosing death.”
It doesn’t matter what sort of thing Karl has done to you to earn your anger. He’s still a son of a powerful man.
“I know,” still you say with acknowledgment, unwilling to back down. “But there will always be risks when it comes to going after people, and in this case, I’m walking a fine line between life and death, but as long as I can prove my worth and show Alexander that I’m a better pawn than his son, I have a higher chance returning here safe and sound. And besides,” you intertwine your fingers into one another and have your hands sit on your lap, “when it comes down to it, you’re all great at getting out of a sticky situation. If worse comes to worst, I’m sure I can rely on my pawn’s protection. You’re not trying to go back on your words again, now are you, Kim Namjoon?”
A promise is a promise.
A vow is a vow.
The Reapers have learned to master it and have proven again and again that their pledge to you is something that is unshakable.Â
Namjoon asked you to collapse into him. They vowed to never let you fall.
And yet here you are now, a shattered mess of glass.
It looks like your choice of words gets to him because Namjoon’s shifting in his seat, uncomfortable, but he has no reason to say no to you now, not after you’ve brought the contract he wrote back into his face. And the past that left you scarred.
“.....I know someone who might be able to get you in contact with Alexander,” he finally says, “but it will be up to you to figure out how to get him on your side.”
The corner of your lips curls upward. “That’s all I need.”
And before the conversation can move on, Mingyu bends down to your side, whispering something into your ear. “They need you at The Academy.”
You give him a nod and uncross your legs to begin standing again. “Let’s pick up this conversation another time, yeah? You should prepare for my absence for at least a month or more. It won’t be easy getting close to a Godfather, after all.”
And with that, you walk off with Mingyu tailing along, leaving the seven of them still unsure about all of this.
.
.
.
“Sunoo refuses to sleep, my lady. I used to wake up to him trashing in his sleep and having to force him to wake up and ask him what was wrong but he never tells me anything. Now, when I wake up in the middle of the night, I just see Sunoo on his bed, wide awake. The teachers and I have tried to help but…nothing’s helping him.”Â
Jungho stands with his head lowered as he fiddles around with his fingers, those little shoulders of his trembling slightly, and when you look at the headmaster for confirmation, she simply nods.
“So you asked the headmaster to call for me, yes?” The little boy nods at your question. “And why is that, Jungho? Why do you believe I can be of help?”
“I-I don’t know, my lady,” he answers truthfully, “but…Sunoo is my best friend and…and I want to help him get better so I thought…I thought that you would have a higher chance at helping than I.”
“You believe that I, someone who doesn’t know him quite as nearly as you do, who has spent years growing up with him, can be of better assistance?”
Jungho nods again. “Because..”
“Because?”
“When he did sleep…Sunoo used to call for your name.”
A droplet falls onto the floor where his feet stands, then another is quick to follow along, but Jungho keeps his head buried against his chest so that all you can see is the back of his hair. So you give Mingyu a look and he nods in return, turning to the child with a hand on his shoulder to lead him away while you head for the dorm the two of them have been assigned to.
Sunoo sits with a blank stare when you enter the room and shut the door behind you. Under the little boy’s eyes are dark bags that shouldn’t be there. He looks worse than the last time you saw him, a little daintier, not quite as skinny as he used to be when he worked under Ying but he might as well be getting back to that stage.
To that little child who was all skin and bones, his clothes too baggy for him when he’d look up at you determined and unwilling to give up hope.
He’s grown since then, putting on some meat, cheeks less hollowed, and a little more life in his physique, but that little spark of hope he had in him is dim. He hasn’t even realized you’ve walked in and Sunoo is someone who’s been taught to stay on high alert due to the fear instilled in him.
You’ve been trying to heal these children but just what are you doing if he’s still like this?
“Sunoo.”
When you call his name, he looks up with a slow reaction, though his eyes widen at the sight of you as expected. “My lady?” His voice is small and when he goes to shuffle from his bed to reach the floor, his legs give in underneath him when he tries to get to you.
You grab ahold of him before he can hurt his knees, picking him up effortlessly and setting him back onto the bed. He sits there with wide eyes searching for something, little fingers gripping onto the sleeve of your shirt a little too tight it turns white.
There is fear in his eyes, you realize.Â
The fear you never got to see when he hid them in that room the two of you were in because he wanted to be brave, because he wanted to uphold the promise he gave unto you.
A child shouldn’t have gone through that.
“When was the last time you’d eaten?” You ask him, knowing that asking him if he’s eaten at all is dumb because it’s clear he hasn’t eaten in a while. You take the hands that balled onto you, placing them onto one another in his lap but knowing not to let it go. It probably gives him comfort knowing he can physically touch you.
“I…” His voice shakes so he’s quick to shut himself up with his teeth biting onto his lower lip. It quivers so he lowers his head and you give him the privacy by standing from the floor to sit beside him on the bed instead.
He keeps himself as silent as he can, and you watch the way he struggles, the way those little shoulders tremble in the way Jungho had and the way you remember the rest of them did when you rescued them that night.Â
Hiding. Hiding.
All for you.
You feel some sort of hatred boiling within you because you know that all this hiding is for you and you hate yourself for doing this to them.
“Do you know something, Sunoo?” You let one hand remain holding his while the other reaches behind to rub along his back. “There is nothing in this world that will make me hate you for crying.”
He remains quiet but there’s a little jostle in his body when you say that. As if he’s surprised, as if he can’t believe you’d just said that.
“Do you believe crying is a sign of weakness?” You ask him and he gives you a small, honest nod. “Why do you believe that, Sunoo?”
“Because you hate it.”
Of course the reason comes back down to you. You’ve instilled something in them your father instilled in you. That crying is weak, that loving is dumb, that emotions must never be revealed to another because no one will care for you if you fail at these three tasks.
You’re becoming your father.
You want to punch the wall, kick something, anything, shoot a bullet into someone’s head, bring out a knife, and stab it into something. Anything.
But you know not to, not before a child, so rather than wanting to take out your anger onto something, you let yourself seek peace in the child.
You cup Sunoo’s face and force him to turn your way so that he cannot hide, so that you can allow yourself to see the tears that splash onto those eyes of his, and when they fall out from the corners of his eyes and you see the way he watches with surprise and redness in his pupils and on his cheeks and nose and lips, you press your forehead against his, forcing him to stop running away.
“There is nothing in this world that will make me hate you for crying,” you repeat your words to him once again because it’s hard. It’s hard trying to find any other words to comfort him because you’re bad at it, because you don’t know how to do it without giving a part of yourself to him. “You are seven, Sunoo. You are supposed to cry when something hurts you.”
“...” You see the way his lips quiver rapidly before he allows more tears to form along his waterline and inevitably fall.
“Do not bite your lips, you will hurt yourself.” He tries to remain silent but you refuse to let him, swiping a finger to let him loosen up, and with your permission, Sunoo cries as a child should.
He voices his frustrations, lets out the screams he’s been holding in, and cries as loud as he can while you hold him in your arms, covering his head into your chest so that he can still feel your presence and know that you aren’t going anywhere. That you’re accepting him. That he doesn’t need to hide from you.
Have you ever cried like this?
So loud and broken?
You did once. So many times. So many years ago.
When you were scared and frightened. When you had Mister Butler there to hold onto you when you needed to let the tears out.
“Do not bite your lips, you will bleed.”
He was the one who taught you that it was okay to let it all out when you cried, that it was okay to be loud, that you didn’t have to fear anyone hearing you.
It feels like a distant dream more than anything, however, because ever since the first few days of being sent to the White Room after Mister Butler died, you had let the fear return to haunt you once again. The fear of being loud. Succumbing to the silence.
Fearing the noise.
“You were gone, my lady.” Sunoo’s voice allows you to return to reality. “You were..you were dead, my lady.”
“...Was I?”
“I dreamt it,” his voice croaks. “She killed you.” So those were the nightmares that feared him into refusing to sleep when he needed it. He dreamt of your death, of him being unable to get you out of that situation.
You admit if it weren’t for Yoongi, Nari would have most definitely snapped and actually ended you right then and there. Yoongi saved your life and lost an eye as a result.
“I’m right here, Sunoo. I’m still alive.” You make sure he knows when you squeeze over his body a little tighter.
Sunoo leans in closer, nuzzling into your embrace.
“I-I know but…but the sun will set again and you’ll leave and…and what if that gentleman hadn’t been there with us? You would have…you could have…”
A sun setting.
The darkness.
The dreaded darkness.
You know just how Sunoo feels because you still fear the darkness. You still hate it when the sun sets because it means absolute darkness until the sun decides to rise again hours later. Hours that feel like days and weeks and months and years. Hours that seem to tick like the seconds are running a year too late. Hours that have you staring straight at the ticking clock, begging it to go faster and faster but it never seems to go as you ask.
That’s why all the clocks in the manor have been either destroyed or thrown away.
Living with your father still alive, you were unable to do things your way but ever since his death, you’ve reorganized lots and lots of things to accommodate your wants and needs.
The clocks are all gone.
“Do you want to come to Norway with me?”
Sunoo looks up suddenly at the suggestion, his brows furrowed with disbelief and for a second you want to take it back because you know it’s a bad idea. You’re there to kill someone after all, to exact your revenge, and having Sunoo in that environment won’t be good.
But this child needs you and he needs the light.
“Northern Norway is a country where the sun does not set during summertime, so you do not have to fear for the darkness.” Once upon a time, you spoke of a wish to visit the Land of the Midnight Sun. Norway. It’s funny the way things are piecing together, funny how no matter how much you want to run away from your past, it always seems to catch up to you. “Jungho will come as well, so you do not have to be alone and so he does not have to sleep here by himself.”
“And the others?” He always thinks of the others. Sunoo is a big brother to all the kids and he keeps strong for them so you know he must be worrying about them feeling left out but this is a foreign country you’re visiting to exact revenge. The less kids, the better.
“They will have to stay. Norway will be dangerous, Sunoo,” you tell him half the truth, not wanting to be too transparent but knowing that letting him believe this will be nothing but a vacation and letting him stay naive will not be good for him.
Kids have to know. The more aware they are, the better prepared they will be.
“But maybe in the future, I can allow for field trips in The Academy.”
“Really?” He sounds a bit brighter at the thought.
“Only if I can get stronger,” you tell him. “Though that may or may not happen and if it does, it will be in the far future.”
“Why do you say that, my lady?”
You wipe the tears from his face when he appears to be calming down. “Because there are still a lot of people who underestimate me or see me as a threat and wish to do something about it.”
“Like that lady?”
“Like that lady.” You take the tissue box from his nightstand to hand it to him and watch as he goes on to blow his nose. “So until people learn not to mess around with me, until my name alone brings fear to them, you’ll have to wait to be allowed to do whatever you want.”
“..Whatever I want?”
“Whatever you want.” You press a hand to his head, smoothing his hair down. “You won’t have to confine yourself in this school anymore. All of you will be allowed to go anywhere you want, whenever you want. No one will be able to mess with you and you won’t have to fear for your safety. Though that comes with learning how to properly defend yourselves. You will do that for me, won’t you?”
Sunoo is quick to nod happily. “I’ll learn to protect myself and I’ll learn to protect my brothers and sisters. And you too, my lady.”
“That’s right. So until then, be a little more patient, alright?”
.
.
.
“You…please tell me you’re joking. You’re bringing children to Norway?” It’s comical the way Seokjin runs his hand down his face as he tries to fathom what you’ve just told him. He looks more stressed than he’s ever been before. “Namjoon’s not going to agree to that.”
“Why does Namjoon’s opinion matter?”
“You never mentioned bringing children to the mission was going to be part of the plan!”
“They aren’t. I’ll just need an extremely safe house where it’ll be hard for anyone to locate to ensure their safety.”
He lets out a long suffering sigh and you want to laugh a little because despite the fact that Seokjin appears to always look calm and collected, he tends to lose his cool easily. He doesn’t get upset but he stresses a good amount. “Why’re you bringing them along in the place?” He asks and you look away.
“I’m not obligated to tell you.”
He grows more agitated. “Don’t tell me you’re going to exploit them into helping you with getting close to Alexander?”
“You think I’m that shallow?” You give him a deadpan expression. “They’re not in any part of the plan. Just think of it as them leaving for a field trip.”
He rests a hand on his temples, takes a moment to breathe as he takes a small lap around a small invisible circle before speaking again. Level headed. “Field trip. Right. As if you aren’t going out there signing your life away to Alexander Larsen!”
Not so level-headed.
He’s losing his cool and you grin at how he tries so hard to keep calm but eventually gives in. “If you’re that worried, why don’t you tag along? Come before the rest of you come when it’s time to take action.”
“I can’t,” Seokjin grunts as he runs a hand through his hair. “Hoseok and Jungkook are already assigned to go with you and I have to stay by Namjoon’s side. He’s a wreck without me.”
“Of course he is.”
He glares your way before continuing. “He’s not going to allow you to take the kids.”
“Come on, Kim Seokjin. You’re the Kim Seokjin, Kim Namjoon’s right hand man, the only one who can get through to him when his stubborn ass refuses to let anyone talk him down from his decisions.” You give him a small poke on his arm, teasing a bit, and Seokjin takes note of the way you feel a little comfortable touching him even in the slightest bit. “I’m sure you can cool him down once he receives news that I’m bringing Sunoo and Jungho along.”
“Cool him down?” Not even convince him to agree but to cool him down. Meaning you aren’t backing from your decision, and Seokjin close his eyes as he takes in another deep breath, praying to God to allow him to keep his patience because he knows he’s stuck dealing with two stubborn people where one does whatever she wants and the other is easy to rile up when the right buttons are pushed.
And you know just the right buttons to push.
“Good luck buddy, I’ll see you when I see you.” With that, you salute him a goodbye and walk off with a grin plastered on your face.
.
.
.
“Y/N?”
The man Namjoon sets you up to meet in Norway is tall in the figure, with blonde hair combed neatly back, and a black suit to match with piercing green eyes that you’re sure to have probably earned many women in his life to swoon.
He’s quite a looker; handsome and tall and carries an aura of authority.
“Asher Larsen.” You say his name in perfect English and extend a hand out to shake it just briefly.
He takes a seat across from you, brows a bit furrowed, jaws set tight. “I can get you in to meet my grandfather but whatever it is you wish to do is none of my business. That will be the farthest I will do for you.”
“Of course. That’s all I need.”
Asher Larsen, grandson of Alexander Larsen, Karl’s nephew, and an intelligent man amongst the Kingsmen. You aren’t sure what Namjoon’s told him about you or the mission in general but he seems like the type who’ll only care about something that he’s actually interested in. And clearly, whatever you’re doing here, he has no intention of getting involved. He’s probably witnessed a few similar scenes before so he can probably guess what it is you’re after, which makes your job a lot easier.
In London, Taehyung was assigned to stay with you during the majority of your plot. Norway, as Seokjin said, Hoseok and Jungkook are here by your side, but unlike London, you won’t have someone here on your side to give you much aid in the way you had Hyunjin.
Asher is only here to be a bridge. Nothing more, nothing less.
He takes you to a private party that night where you walk in by his side as his guest, and for some odd reason, things already begin to spiral as a commotion is heard not long after your arrival.
“Do you often have your security breached like this?” You turn to Asher who gives you a quizzical expression.
“You mean this wasn’t you?”
“To try and grab your grandfather’s attention?” You laugh a little. “That’s a bit extreme, don’t you think? If it was me behind this, it’d only want him to make an enemy out of me, and that’s not what I’m after.”
No one’s by your side tonight, it’s a private party after all, and though you’re sure your Reapers, along with Hoseok and Jungkook, aren’t too far away for you to leave and make an escape before something goes wrong, somehow you don’t feel the need to run away even when the chandelier from the ceiling falls and shatters glass all over the floor.
“How interesting,” is what you utter when the bright lights of the party fall dim and all that’s left is the light of the dawn sky from above the small, circular glass ceiling.
“Do you care one bit about your safety?” Asher questions you when he sees every other guest making an escape while you remain standing where you’ve been the whole time. He doesn’t look like he’s in a state of panic, and you guess he’s probably used to these things. Who wouldn’t be when you’re born into this business?
“Of course I do, but—”
“You should leave before something goes wrong.” He takes your wrist and pushes you towards the emergency exit, but you just can’t seem to run.
“Asher.” You look around, eyes sharp and quick. “Where’s your grandfather?”
Asher looks exasperated with you. “When things like this happen, my grandfather’s the first to escape. Now—”
“Something’s odd.”
“What’s odd?”
“The party started an hour before we arrived, right? So why was it that the second we walked in, they decided to stop it then? Why when you arrived?” You look towards the entrance door that’s now closed and blocked off, the chandelier that fell at the center of the grand room, just a few feet away from where the two of you were standing.
Luckily no one seems to be on the verge of death and there are people helping some guests leave from a side door, but besides that, there doesn’t seem to be any present physical threat in this room. One might believe they’re not here because Alexander isn’t here but still, you feel an odd sense of something.
You turn back to Asher just as he’s trying to calculate what you just said. “Tell me, Asher, are you someone your grandfather favors?”
“My grandfather doesn’t have favorites.”
“But you are intelligent and a great asset to the Kingsmen.” Just as you said that, you catch sight of a man who had been pretending to help an injured man point a gun towards Asher, who has his back turned to him, and in seconds, you’re rushing to Asher, take hold of the gun he held on the back of his belt, and pierce a bullet straight into the man’s forehead.
Asher turns around, stunned, and you take another man out on the second story of this room.
“You don’t have an extra gun or something, do you? Because we were told not to bring guns to this party.” You flash him an awkward grin but the man only shakes his head.
Well. At least you’re prepared.
Throwing him back his gun, to which he easily catches to eliminate more men, you take your two hairpins that had been holding your hair up this whole time, and use it as your weapon, stabbing along the masked men who have been bold enough to operate on this mission tonight.
Asher and you are an unstoppable force, it’s almost a bit thrilling having the chance to get back into action and overpowering the enemies as if they were simple ants pestering and getting in your way. You forgot how fun this can be after being held up in bed for almost two months, unable to move properly.
Something catches your attention when a lady dressed in a black and white suit stumbles onto her feet with something in her hand, a puppy, and just behind her a long pillar lies, on the verge of tipping over.
No longer watching Asher’s back, you rush over to the scene to pick the running puppy into your arm and grab the woman with your other hand, successfully rescuing them just as the huge cement falls and crashes onto the floor, alerting everyone’s attention.
You simply stare at the dog in your arm. “Behave, will you? Don’t run into danger, that pretty lady was only trying to help.”
It barks and you feel guns pointed straight at you.Â
The room falls silent, nothing is heard, and you can’t put a finger on why it is that you’re now the target and they’re ignoring Asher.
Is it the puppy? Is the puppy’s life far more valuable than Asher’s?
“Y/N!” You hear Asher’s call and keeping a firm grip on the puppy, rush to dodge the bullets that fly your way with Asher’s help in shooting down a few of them.
Your body twists and turns, flipping and jumping, doing all it can so that the bullets can only breeze past your skin and not pierce through it, all the while you use your hairpin to stab nearby opponents down with a dog in your hand.
The last of them die against the piercing of your hairpin against their neck, and while you feel eyes on you from the people who were hidden away to hide from the fight, you retrieve the two silver accessories from the enemy’s bodies, wiping their blood on the cloth of your dress, before fixing them back easily into your hair.
The dog licks your face unexpectedly, jerking you from it, and you fall completely silent and stunned at what it had just done.
“Boy, what are you doing to me? You can’t just lick someone like that, even if that is in your nature,” you say, face contoured with disgust as you bring him into your hands and extend your arms out so that he’s unable to continue licking you.
He barks with complaint, and there’s a small snicker that you hear from across the room.
When you turn to look, you’re greeted unexpectedly by the very man you came to meet tonight, standing beside Asher with a few guards next to him.
The little dog twists out of your hand and jumps back onto the floor, rushing over to Alexander who easily picks him up.
Ah. So it was his dog. Now it makes sense why the enemies were after me. The dog’s special to him.
“Are you not used to that?” The old man asks when you pat your hand down onto your dress. His English has a bit of an accent, not too distinct, but he’s not as fluent as Asher is.
“Suddenly getting licked in the face? No sir, I have not.”
“He likes you.” The men beside him move to take the enemies away at Alexander’s head signal, and you watch the way the old man pets the little puppy on the head. “Kiwi doesn’t like just anyone.” Kiwi. “They say dogs are better at judging people than humans.”
What are you supposed to say to that? “...Do they now?”
“Come.”
He turns, with the dog in hand, and you blink.
“Huh?”
But he ignores you to give an order to the lady you reduced under the pillar. “Have a room ready for the lady and send people to tend to her.”
“Pardon me sir, but I can take care of myself. I have a place nearby—”
“My place is closer,” he says, and with that, he’s walking off without letting you have another word in, leaving you to simply stand there with a dumbfounded expression.
When you look at Asher who’s still here, he sends you a shrug, along with a small, amused smile curling along his lips. He looks impressed and he probably is, because you’ve just gotten your chance at speaking to Alexander Larsen without approaching him first.







yoongi x his signature smirk
cr. namuspromised