Bts Omegaverse - Tumblr Posts
˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚⋆·˚ ༘ *𝙎𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙚𝙡 ⋆·˚ ༘ *ੈ✩‧₊˚
Chapter 35
Pairing: BTS Ot7 X fem! reader
Genre: A/B/O AU, Fluff, Angst, Strangers to lovers,
Warnings: anxiety and panic attack, light implications of attempted rape
Words: 3457
A/N: Hello everyone! I'm sorry I didn't update earlier, I've been very busy. Currently I'm away with my school so I won't be able to post for a while!
Please enjoy this soft chapter :)
Taglist: @thelilbutifulthings @ilovemoneymorethenmen @singukieee @cherrysainttt @felicityroth @mageprincess7 @lucis-noctiana @danielle143 @osakis-gf @girl-nahh @vintageoldfashionstyle-blog @neverthefirstchoice @juju-227592 @silentreadersthings @i-have-no-life-charlie @everyonehatesshani @iamkookiesforyou @dragons-flare @fangirl125reader @roseidol @frieschan @popcatx0 @liz67900 @exfolitae @plexcaffeinate @strawblueberrys
Previous:
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„What a great choice, little pup. Of course we can go see; come on, let's go, sweet baby.” The packalpha smiled widely at you, taking your hand in his before he started to lead your little group towards the said store.
Yuki and Moonsik followed happily, both okay with going to the music store. While neither of them played any instruments, they enjoyed listening to music, so they wouldn't mind.
Plus, sometimes seeing all of the gadgets and things lined up cleanly just satisfied them, even when they weren't there to buy them.
And so, Namjoon led you close, watchful so you wouldn't bump into any bypassers as you were caught too deeply into explaining the new art technique you only just learned.
The packalpha knew a fair bit about art, but by no means did he know enough, considering how much new information you shared with him during the few small seconds.
Litography for sure sounded complicated, but you looked ecstatic about it, even though you repeated many times that you really didn't know what you were doing most of the time.
Maybe he could start a course with you? Or maybe some of the other packmates would go. Or maybe, if you don't want them to be there with you, you would prefer to do so alone?
Seoul was a large city; for sure, there must be a printing unit of some sort, an atelier, or anything like that.
Namjoon really wanted you to persue your hobbies and dreams, and he knew you held art very close to your heart.
The packalpha wasn't sure what type of school you would want to continue to study at, but he realised well that the pack could for sure help.
He thought a little about what you might be able to do to help them, and the packalpha already had quite a few good ideas.
But nonetheless, Namjoon was more than happy to have you around, and you could choose whichever path you found interesting, and he and the pack members would support you.
The walk across the mall wasn't lengthy, and so soon enough, you were aware of the music store you desired to see when it was closed.
It was open this time, and the lights that were turned on made the display of the instruments and gadgets much clearer and simpler to see.
To your eyes, it looked quite magical. You knew your fair bit about art—of course you would; you studied it after all—and when you were young and lived in Japan, sometimes you would go see theatres too.
Your budget didn't allow you to see the interesting plays anymore, and it wouldn't be too safe for you to go on your own either.
Since most of the theatres would play during the evening, starting at the earliest of 18 o'clock, even when it would be the summer and the sun would come down later, by the time the play would end, it would be dark.
Seoul wasn't a small city by any means, but your apartment was on the outskirts, and you didn't live in the nicest part of it.
You were an omega. Only now were you being courted, and before that, you had no one to make sure you would get safely home.
The last time you went to see the play R.U.R., which didn't wow you but didn't hurt to see either, you left the theatre by the evening, and the stars would twinkle and shine.
The bus you had to wait for took quite some time to arrive, but whenever a bit off-looking alpha or beta would come sit by you on the waiting bench at the stop, you would make sure to get up and create a distance so no contact would be created.
You were on your phone, busying yourself on Instagram as there was free WiFi available, and so when your bus arrived a good half an hour later, you entered.
All went well in the beginning, but as the drive continued, less and less people stayed, and it came to only you and an alpha.
The man didn't seem too suspicious at first, but when he stood up, to you seeming to go to leave the vehicle, he didn't step out but instead stepped closer to you.
You were more than lucky that night, to be certain. Just the reminder of the sickling smell of the rut had your stomach turning, and when you noticed the look in his eyes, you realised what was meant to go down.
Before the alpha could do anything, you left the bus in a hurry, as your stop just came, and luckily for you, the dreaded man didn't follow you.
Since then, you wouldn't go outside comfortably and would always be wary of being on your own during the night.
Just the terrifying memory made small tears spring up in your eyes. What would happen if that man took you to mate that night? What if he marked you too?
Surely, none of the pack members courting you now would be interested in you then.
You felt your fingers shake a little, and you could tell you were about to cry. You couldn't go crying in the mall like this, and if Yuki and Moonsik were with you too, what would they think of you now?
Your breaths started to cut shorter and shorter, and as your eyes squeezed shut, a slight ringing clouded your mind.
Then, you couldn't tell well what was going on—too much in a haze to realise. You could hear your heartbeat, or was it yours?
It sounded close to your ear, and you felt your lungs hurt from how unwell you were breathing, your intakes shorter and shorter every moment passing.
„...okay, pup,'s okay...."
You recognised the packalpha's voice well, but it sounded distant and far; your ears were somehow weak, and you were tired.
The soft smell around you brought you a slight comfort and warmth, but even then, your shoulders shook and tears would come down your face.
Whenever your sobs would get louder, the warmth brought to you felt more close, as the scent felt more strong and noticeable.
Somewhere deep in the back of your mind, you knew you had stressed yourself out so much that you had another omega drop, but then again, you couldn't think too clearly.
„...don't worry, sweetheart, just breathe for alpha baby;.."
Namjoon's voice caressed you in the background as you sobbed and cried softly. You were just too scared and anxious at this point, too worried out of your mind, to really pay attention to what was going on around you.
It took you quite some time to calm down to a point where you would realise what was going on around you. Sobs wrecked your body, and your shoulders would shake as you gasped for air.
„...there you go, pup, just like that. Breathe for Alpha little 'mega..."
Namjoon didn't know what exactly went down to cause you to suddenly drop on him, but he knew it wasn't good.
It was just like that—your scent would change, and he would notice something was wrong. And before the packalpha could do anything to help prevent it, your soft sniffles and cries already came.
And what was he to do? He knew he couldn't do much as the rest of the packmembers weren't there to help, and surely all of their scents would do you good.
Namjoon didn't even have that lamb plushie they bought for you, and gosh, he was cursing himself for not getting at least a keychain to carry around himself in case of need—like now.
They all will, for sure, purchase one right away after they hear about your soft state. None of them will care about how bulky or weird their keys might look; that would not matter.
If they would get a keychain that would carry all of their scents, for sure, that would help when you might drop on them so suddenly.
Namjoon didn't have that at the moment, and so he was stuck with what was possible to help relieve your anxious state—his own scent.
And so he did what he thought would be best, releasing all of the protective and calming pheromones he had as an alpha.
The moment the packalpha realised you entered an omega drop, from standing before you crouched while caressing your cheeks with questions pouring out about your dazed state, he was quick to get into action.
When your tears appeared and your scent fully changed, he took you into his arms, not caring one bit about anyone looking—you were his top priority.
And so Namjoon cradled you to his chest, safely tucking away your face into his scent gland as he would try to calm you down.
When your sobs and cries turned into gasps for air, he could truly feel worry cloud his mind, and he could tell his brain was dashing up with only a few simple words screamed at him.
Mate; Danger; Breathe;
And he held you even closer, going from trying to gently talk you out of your closed state to feeling himself start to go feral in worry.
Was it one of the bypassers that made you freak out so much? Was it the shop owner? Oh, he was going to have a word with him if that was the case for sure.
But before the packalpha could do anything, Moonsik, who still held Yuki's hand closely as they both looked worriedly over the two of you, stepped closer.
„You need to go somewhere where it's calm and quiet, Namjoon-ah.” The beta's voice held a sense of urgency in it.
His own pack's omega wouldn't drop too often, but when he would, it was always a great worry for both Moonsik and Juwon.
He recognised the short and quick breaths, along with how off your scent seemed, and knew that you really weren't doing well at the moment.
And so, he was quick to step in as soon as he noted Namjoon's growing distress; it was understandable that he was worried. You were their courted omega after all, and it was every packmember's worst nightmare to see their littlest ones cry of fear.
Moonsik calmly came over, a harsh but not really meant growl leaving the packalpha as he took a step back. The beta understood—the younger wasn't thinking too clearly and wouldn't take time to realise who was safe and who wasn't.
At this point, the only ones allowed to come closer to the distressed omega were the packmates, and even then, the packalpha would strictly watch.
And so, the beta took the lead and started to walk to one of the stores where it surely would be quiet and calm—the small library, which had a café at its entrance.
Namjoon rushed to follow, pecking your cheeks and temples repeatedly as he would comb his fingers gently through your hair.
The only thing he wished for was that you would be okay.
None of the drops he experienced with you went to such an extent, and you never had such issues with breathing. What if something was seriously wrong?
Hastily, the small group of yours entered the café. Moonsik brought Yuki over to order, as he didn't want it to seem like you all just came over to sit and not have anything.
The other omega was scared and worried for you, asking the beta numerous times if you were okay and saying, „Y/N doesn't look fine, hyungie!” Nearly bursting into tears himself.
Though the beta was professional in distracting the younger and calming him down, he by no means needed Yuki to drop too; that would be truly bad timing.
And so, Moonsik asked the omega about which drink he thought you would like the best, or what pastry, but the conversation always stopped, as the omega would go turning to look at you sitting in a secluded booth, curled up closely to Namjoon.
Yuki couldn't see much, as the packalpha had tucked you closely against himself and kept you in the corner, his back partly turned to the entrance.
„You're okay, my baby; breathe now; breathe for Alpha." He would whisper, a little frown on his face as he held you to his chest, making sure your ear was pressed right up against his heart where you could hear it the best.
The alpha caressed your hair softly, pecking your forehead as his chin would rub up against the top of your head.
His scent was noticeable all around the booth, and while he might feel a bit emberassed normally, considering that it's not really well with the etiquette to have one's scent take up the whole room, he really didn't care at the moment.
Luckily, the people working and in the café were understanding and didn't freak out or start a scene over it, and everything truly was calm.
Apart from the soft, calm music playing in the background, the shop was quiet and calm, and he only then realised that it was definitely omega-centred too.
And soon after, your teary eyes, Namjoon so restlessly viped over and over, fluttered open. The moment you realised it was the packalpha who was gently looking over you, holding you close as he would caress you, soft shushes leaving him in hopes of you breathing better, a soft sob left you again.
Namjoon looked over immediately, his eyes widening, before he held you even closer, tucking your head right into the very crook of his neck.
„Oh baby...” He whispered gently, pecking your temples repeatedly as he rubbed your back and petted your hair.
You gripped onto the alpha's t-shirt tightly, the man pulling you up and closer to his chest in answer.
Your cheek rested against Namjoon's collarbone as the still slightly agitated alpha held you very close, trying his best to settle you.
Just then, Moonsik and Yuki came over with the order they thought both of you would like the best: an americano for Namjoon and a sweet lemonade with a little cheesecake for you.
Just as Yuki went to whine out, noticing that you wouldn't turn to look at them, the packalpaha being the only one to have acknowledged them, the beta was quick with his thinking.
„Hyungie-”
„Sh, baby, sh, come here." He whispered gently as he pulled the younger omega over to himself, letting him sit on his lap too.
The beta knew well that you needed some space and time to truly relax and calm down, and staying with the packalpha for the time being was for sure the safest bet.
And so, Moonsik fed his omega small bites of the brownie cake and had him drink his own lemonade. Yuki hoped you would like yours just like he always liked his.
„Should I call someone, Namjoon-ah?” Moonsik asked after a little while, worried eyes set on you. While you weren't sobbing and gasping for air uncontrollably anymore, you were still softly sniffing, no matter what the packalpha would say.
Namjoon looked up from pecking your forehead, frowning a little in thought. The packmembers would for sure freak out if they knew, but it was necessary, he thought.
And so, as the alpha pulled you even closer, your nose right against his scent gland, he stayed for a little while in thought.
„If you would be so kind, Moonsik-hyung, that would be very helpful.” He whispered softly, not wanting to startle you, as he gently patted your hair.
The beta nodded and ushered Yuki out of his lap, taking the younger's hand before he went over to the more secluded area—he didn't want you or anyone else to hear to call.
You didn't need to drop on them the second time in a row today.
Precautions were a must in such situations, and your fragile state for sure required one, so they needed to be careful now.
Moonsik quickly switched on his contacts, searching through them until he found the first packmate he had saved on his phone, Yoongi.
And so, as Yuki looked over the books on display, opening and closing them after he realised they were in the horror section, the ringing noise sounded in the beta's ear.
It took a while for the alpha to pick up, but he did soon after, having the beta sigh from the pent-up worry he didn't even realise he kept inside.
„Hello?”
„Hello, Yoongi, it's Moonsik...um, the beta, we met in the mall and-”
„Yes, I remember. What do you need? Is Y/N okay?”
„Y/N dropped a few minutes ago, but Namjoon is trying to settle h-”
„What?! Fuck, where are they?”
„We are in the reading café right now, but maybe you all shouldn't come at the same time..."
„Aish, send me the address, and I'll be there soon; I'll let the rest know.”
„Of course, I will. Thank you.”
Yoongi was the one to switch off the call, but in the background, Moonsik could very well hear his keys jiggle as the alpha quickly got ready to leave.
He wasn't sure where Yoongi was at the moment or if they were all planning to come into the café, but he trusted them and knew that they would do their best to help you.
„Come on, baby, let's go." The beta softly said, gently tugging onto Yuki's hand, the omega following right away, abandoning the book he held before.
They walked back up the stairs and over to the booth to see you still closely held by the packalpha; only now you weren't really sniffling too badly.
Only when they sat down and Moonsik got a better look at you did he realise what happened—you cried yourself to sleep, far too exhausted to keep up with everything.
Namjoon held you close, very much in a protective headspace, wary of anyone and everyone passing by.
The alpha tried to feed you a little bite of the sweet cake or have you at least take the smallest sip possible, but you wouldn't budge, a soft whimper leaving you whenever Namjoon would slightly pull away to give you a little bite.
And so, after a short time, the packalpha has given up on having you eat or drink at the moment, and as you fell asleep, he would hold you just as close as before, if not closer.
He sipped on his coffee the beta and omega, so kindly got him, but it was still quite hot, and he didn't really know how to relax at the moment.
„I called Yoongi; he said he was on his way.” The beta almost whispered, not wanting you to wake up, but seeing your truly tired state, you weren't about to.
The packalpha murmured soft thanks, glad that the beta was kind and considerate in such a jumbled situation.
Just as Namjoon went on to apologise about the hangout taking a terrible turn, the beta was quick to shush him.
„It's okay, Namjoon-ah; it's not yours or Y/N's fault; things like these just happen.” He said it calmly, cutting off a little bite of the brownie to feed Yuki again.
The packalpha could only thank him softly, holding you close as he rubbed your back up and down, keeping you close.
It didn't take a long time before the other packmate came, and it wasn't just Yoongi either.
The moment the youngest recognised your distressed scent in the mall, he took off running, with the older alpha following soon enough, finding the path to you by your scent.
And soon enough, Jungkook stood at the entrance to the café, a mask and heavy jacket on, as he came just from the outside, where Yoongi had driven them.
A soft gasp left him as he finally saw you and Namjoon, your body tightly cuddled up to the older alpha.
„Babybun!” He whispered, taking long strides over before he came to the side of the booth with you.
Jungkook reached over to hold you, Namjoon sighing out gently, before he let you be held by him, only a soft whine leaving you.
„Don't cry, my bunny, it's okay. Alpha is here now. Alpha is here." He would whisper, his chin and cheeks rubbing vigorously over your head as he tried to have his calming scent mask your still unsettled one.
„Oh, kitty...” Yoongi murmured, taking a seat next to the youngest as he too gently petted and brushed through your hair, worried eyes set on your still-half-asleep form.
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˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚⋆·˚ ༘ *𝙎𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙚𝙡 ⋆·˚ ༘ *ੈ✩‧₊˚
Chapter 36
Pairing: BTS Ot7 X fem! reader
Genre: A/B/O AU, Fluff, Angst, Strangers to lovers,
Warnings: none :)
Words: 3949
A/N: Hi everyone! So sorry for such a long, unannounced break. I needed to take some time off. The updates will probably be less frequent, but I'll try my best to post.
Also, if there are any mistakes regarding the story line not lining up, please let me know! I might have forgotten about something and not realised! :( (Cupcake reveal is coming soon dw!)
How are you? I hope you well and care.
Taglist: @thelilbutifulthings @ilovemoneymorethenmen @singukieee @cherrysainttt @felicityroth @mageprincess7 @lucis-noctiana @danielle143 @osakis-gf @girl-nahh @vintageoldfashionstyle-blog @neverthefirstchoice @juju-227592 @silentreadersthings @i-have-no-life-charlie @everyonehatesshani @iamkookiesforyou @dragons-flare @fangirl125reader @roseidol @frieschan @popcatx0 @liz67900 @exfolitae @plexcaffeinate @strawblueberrys
(open)
Previous:
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Jungkook nor Yoongi could help but gush and coo over you. Not only were their protective and alpha headspaces triggered by your still-dropped form, but just seeing you tightly cuddle up to the packalpha made their hearts flutter.
The youngest alpha held you close, gently fretting over you. Sure, you have cried yourself to sleep, but he couldn't help himself.
You were their courted omega, hopefully one day their own truly, and it really upsets them whenever you would cry or drop in their presence.
Frankly, it broke their hearts, shattered even, knowing that they were meant to be there to calm you down and make sure you were okay.
They didn't have as much experience with omegas as they might have thought they did before they got to meet you and start the courting—gosh, they were so wrong.
Of course, Jungkook's friend Juwon had an omega in his pack, but the youngest alpha never really got around to truly talk to him that often.
When the pack would hold meet and greets and see their fans up close, they got to meet all of the different second genders at once, so they have seen many omegas to be truthful, it was quite usual.
Only when a different K-pop group, not as well known as BTS but having a pretty large fan base, promoted and held their own meet and greet, and a terrible accident happened, did the whole industry shaken.
While crowds were known to unsettle and frighten omegas, as well as the loud noises, many fans just wanted to see the idols and would take the risk.
And it got especially risky when the price of the entrance was too high for the whole pack to get, ending with sometimes just the omega by themselves.
When the meet and greet of the K-pop group happened, it was quite a few years ago. Back then, one of the band members has suffered an injury, making them unable to participate.
Though, as the group felt bad for the short notice, they didn't want to leave any of their fans in dissapointment, and so the injured member came over to quickly wave at everyone and chat for a short while before they were ushered away again—or so was the plan.
As the leader of the group came over to see their sweet fans, the overpacked room was filled with loud shouts of excitement and joy, though quickly turning into cries of distress and worry.
The mass of fans moved over quickly, and so many of the naturally smaller or shorter ones started to get pushed around and would stumble, eventually ending in many of them tripping and falling over.
The giant group of fans of all different scents, which just confused everyone in general, alphas, betas, and omegas all included, was too much for anyone to be able to truly notice the source of fans distress.
The chaos and panic only continued as the idols tried to calm everyone down. The leader, though injured, stayed behind to try and help, but the room was far too full, and there was soon just a mess.
The K-pop group disbanded soon after, ending their contracts after the terrible news of the two fans who were suffocated and stepped over until they had to be taken to a hospital.
Their identities haven't been revealed to protect them, though after a long while, the constant questions and worries regarding their well-being ended with a final message.
While one was on a good path to recovery, the other, a young omega boy, has ended up in a coma and seems not to be about to wake up any time soon. The pack that the omega was with took it the worst, for sure.
And so, after the terrible incident, which ended with many unsettled cries and shouts, a death, and many things to worry about, most of the meet and greets of all groups have been postponed.
Eventually, all that has purchased or won a ticket in some way has been refunded, until about a year or so forward since the accident, when the first meet and greet in the entire industry was held again.
This time, though, the rules applied were so much more strict and harsh, as only about half of the people who usually got to go were allowed, much less tickets sold.
And the biggest difference of all was that the event was only for betas and alphas.
Truthfully, no alpha in the right mind would dare let their omega go to such an event after the terrible news, too worried it could happen to their own too.
Nowadays, events where the idols interact the most with their fans are still usually held for alphas and betas only. A separate event is then held for omegas, but it is required to go with the packalpha of their pack.
The rules have become stricter in order to keep everyone safe.
Jungkook knew very well that he would have to always look out for you and take care of everything for you, but the alpha realised that was, honestly, something he found so fulfilling and rewarding.
And so, the young alpha held you to his chest, his own scent gland carefully close to your nose as he rested your face against the crook of his neck, cradling you close.
Yoongi wasn't much better, constantly combing his fingers through your hair gently, with little soothing pecks left on your forehead and your head.
The older alpha held your palm in his, his thumb softly rubbing over your knuckles in hopes of calming you and keeping you reminded of his presence, even if you weren't too aware at the moment.
Soon, Jungkook sighed out. After you truly smelled like all three of them, he stood up with you in his arms.
„Jungkook-”
„Let's go home, Hyung; I want to take babybun home.” The youngest didn't look over to the packalpha, too caught up with watching over you.
Namjoon sighed. Truly, there wasn't anything more he wished for more than to have you safe and sound in their packhouse right now.
The packalpha wished they would have the den to have you nest and calm down in, but they didn't, and so they would have to deal with it.
Sharing quick goodbyes with Yuki and Moonsik, which both understood well and promised to not be bothered or upset, the three alphas went on to leave.
They made quick work, shuffling through the lightly busy mall, both Namjoon and Yoongi watchful and protective over you in Jungkook's arms.
Whoever seemed to just glance over for a second too long received a harsh glare back or a sudden release of very agitated pheromones, scaring them off.
And so, the pack went up the small stairs to the underground parking lot, with Yoongi's car in view soon enough when the oldest alpha led them over.
He wanted to keep you in his arms for a while longer, but seeing how the youngest quickly shuffled to the backseat the moment he unlocked the Hyundai, he would just have to wait.
Since Namjoon didn't drive, Yoongi would, and so he sighed again, turning on the engine as he waited for everyone to buckle in.
„Kook, you can't sit with your pup on your lap. That's not safe for either of you."
The packalpha said, his voice gentle and calm. Joon understood the youngest very well and knew he was in a headspace that was too hard for him to leave for now.
Jungkook needed to keep you close; he needed to feel you against his chest, your heartbeat, your scent—to know you were safe and sound.
And so he let a light growl leave him the moment the packalpha turned around to try and pry off his strong hold onto you. The youngest didn't realise it was his hyung, and even that wouldn't matter that much now.
„Yah! Jungkook, stop this.” A much rougher Yoongi called out, just wanting to leave. He wanted you to be in their packhouse now, safe, with only them around, not all of these strangers in the mall to oogle at.
„Hyung-”
„No, we really need to go now. 'Mega will be next to you the whole drive.” And so Namjoon gently took you from the youngest arms, sliding you over so you would sit next to the alpha, your thighs touching.
As he buckled you in, he tugged on your seatbelt carefully, knowing you would be safe this way.
Namjoon closed the doors again, and as he took a seat at the front once more, he could see your head now resting against the alpha's shoulder, the youngest watchful eyes set on your form.
And so, the small group left the mall and started driving the short way to their packhouse.
The soft, omega headspace playlist was turned on, the alphas hoping you might calm down further even when you were asleep, your cheeks rosy and a bit puffy from crying your eyes out earlier.
"...what happened, Namjoon?” Yoongi asked calmly, his eyes set on the road. The snow was still around and pretty to look at. The alpha wished you would look at yourself and smile at how nice it was...
The packalpha wasn't sure himself, and so he only shook his head lightly, lost in thought. Surely, you would have to talk to them about everything later; this was important.
„...Have you called the others yet?” He asked his elder, and the said alpha was shaking his head likewise. „No, we rushed here...but we should probably call ahead."
And so Namjoon made quick work with the touchscreen, calling the eldest alpha of their pack, whom he hoped stayed home.
„Hello?”
„Hyung, we are on our way home now.”
The packalpha said, unsure as to how to really describe what went down without the eldest freaking out fully.
„Okay-”
„Y/N dropped, could you maybe set some stuff up?"
And so Namjoon ripped off the bandage, hoping Seokjin would understand—he knew he would.
„I- What? Is she okay? What happened?” With each question, the urgency in his voice doubled, and in the background of the call, there could be some shuffling heard.
„I don't know Hyung. She is with us now; we will be home soon.” Namjoon said calmly, rethinking every single step he and you took earlier.
You seemed so joyful too, telling him about this and that as you skipped along with him, happy and seemingly carefree.
The packalpha took a short look behind himself, seeing Jungkook carefully caress your hair and leave soft pecks everywhere now and then.
If it weren't for your still distressed scent, you might look peaceful and relaxed, but the alphas knew better.
And so Jin said his goodbyes, telling them to give you a peck for him and to have you stay strong.
They weren't much further from home; the Hyundai was just entering the expensive neighborhood, so it didn't take much longer before they arrived.
The snow crumbled and cracked under the tyres as Yoongi carefully parked, very watchful since he was driving the most precious cargo of his.
As soon as the engine turned off, the alphas went to shuffle out—not before the front doors of their packhouse were thrown open, though, with the rest of the alphas rushing over.
„Babycheeks?” The second youngest called out his eyes wide in worry as he came over. Jungkook was just about to climb out with you tightly held to his chest.
„Oh my gosh, princess-!” The other alpha gasped, seeing your still puffy cheeks and the pout you sported even during your sleep.
The youngest reluctantly let the oldest take you into his arms instead, Seokjins eyes roaming over your figure to see any possible damage, but to find none.
„Aigoo, babycub, come to alpha...” He whispered softly, pulling you even closer if that was possible.
With you safely tucked away in his arms, the alpha was quick to start the short walk back inside, with the rest of the men following trying to get at least a bit of their scent onto you.
Yea, you had them wrapped around your little finger, but they didn't put up a fight.
The moment Jimin and Jin started to untie your shoelaces, you stirred, your vision slightly blurry. Your head pounded, and a soft sniffle left you.
Immediately, both of the alphas and all the others which were currently discarding their own coats and jackets looked over, worry and care swimming in everyone's eyes.
Jimin was the quickest out of his daze, putting the pretty snow boot they got for you away, going from crouching before your sitting position to standing up a bit taller.
The alpha took you into his arms, picking you up to hold to his chest, his chin tucking your head away into the crook of his neck.
„Sh-sh-shhh princess, alpha is here now...” He whispered softly, your arms wrapped around his shoulders as Jin helped put away the other boot.
The packmembers stayed mostly quiet, watchful and worried, sad eyes set on you. They knew more than well, that something was wrong, but they could feel that this was not the right time to ask about it.
„How about a nap little pup?” The packalpha said gently, coming over to brush some of your hair behind your ear, his motions gentle and calm.
It wasn't truly a question, more of an advice he, and all of the rest, hoped you would follow. The tiny nod you gave in answer, before your cheek rested against Jimin's collarbone was more than enough.
And so, the young alpha trotted over to the living room, where in a quick haste Jin and Hobi brought over blankets and pillows of all kind, the two scent plushies and even a few of each hoodies.
To be truthful, the large couch was covered in all of their scents and so when Jimin gently placed you down in middle of the blankets, he was slightly surprised that you wouldn't let go.
His scent was quite literally all around you, he has scented you well too, just a short while earlier, so what was it?
„...stay, oppa...” You whispered, your voice laced with sadness and timidness, having the alpha immediately do whatever you wished for with no such worry.
And so, he crawled in behind you, his back against the backrest with you tightly pulled to his warm chest.
The rest of the packmembers eventually all walked over, each of the alphas making sure to give you as many sweet pecks as they saw fit, their eyes sweet and careful.
„Rest for a little while sunny-bub, alpha will be in his studio okay?” Hoseok whispered sweetly, his nose rubbing up against yours in a cute bunny-like kiss.
Truly, he was worried about you, deeply. Whatever set you off today was surely a bigger issue they would have to go over eventually, but for now, you just needed to have a nice rest of the day.
The alpha didn't feel comfortable having you out of sight for after your sudden drop, but he felt a bit better with Jimin staying with you. He would keep you safe.
And so, he left a soft peck on your forehead, hoping that your still bleary eyes would soon shut and you would enter a calmer dreamland.
Jungkook planned to go work out this afternoon, together with Namjoon, Yoongi and Jin, but the plans seemed to have changed, and for a great reason.
The youngest couldn't help but worry for you so much, like possibly never before, constantly smothering and cooing over your tightly cuddled up form.
Somehow, he couldn't leave you right now, the moment he wanted to get up from the crouched up form, he felt a pang right against his heart and could swear he heard just the tiniest whine come from your direction - and he was right back down next to you to scent you.
„Rest with them for a while Kook, you'll feel better.” Namjoon said knowingly, patting the young alpha's shoulder in understanding.
The packalpha wasn't much better, as he took a seat to the side of you, making sure you were safely tucked away underneath the blankets with both of those scent lambs in your arms.
And so, Jungkook layed down next to you, making sure your ear would rest right against his heartbeat in hopes of it to settle you down better.
Whenever anyone would come closer, the youngest alpha was wide awake, his arms tightly wrapped around you as you napped with Jimin too asleep behind you.
It was Jin this time, the eldest coming over with two coffee mugs in hand, handing one to the packalpha who thanked him quietly.
The oldest alpha took a seat next to Namjoon who was currently typing away on his notebook, though while Jungkook believed it was work related, turned out to be a scent-keychain website.
„Oh, that one is really cute, how about it?” Seokjin mused softly, careful so that his voice wouldn't wake you up. You needed to rest, for at least a little while.
The alpha pointed to the screen where a little teddy bear keychain with a cute, pink tie-up snow hat showed. Surely you would like one like this one?
Namjoon hummed softly, clicking onto the listing to see a specific description.
Introducing our luxurious Scent Plushie Keychain, the perfect accessory for omegas in search of a comforting connection to their pack members. Crafted from an incredibly soft and comfortable luxury material, this keychain is designed to provide a sensory experience unlike any other.
Measuring at approximately 10 cm in size, our Scent Plushie Keychain is small enough to be conveniently carried with you wherever you go. Whether it's attached to your keys, backpack, or stored in your pocket, this keychain ensures that you'll always have a piece of your pack member's scent close at hand.
Created specifically for omegas, the Scent Plushie Keychain allows you to hold onto not just one, but up to five different scents. This means you can carry the comforting aromas of multiple pack members, strengthening the bond between you and your pack.
Each of these scents is carefully preserved, allowing you to experience a rush of familiar emotions whenever you need it most. Whether you're feeling anxious, lonely, or simply need a moment of comfort, a quick sniff of your Scent Plushie Keychain can transport you back to a place of safety and security.
With its exquisite craftsmanship and attention to detail, this Scent Plushie Keychain is designed to be a cherished item, passed down through generations. It not only serves as a physical reminder of your pack members but also as an emblem of your unique place within your pack.
So why wait? Indulge yourself in the ultimate luxury for omegas with our Scent Plushie Keychain. Carry the scents of your pack members with you at all times, and let their comforting aroma surround you, even when they're physically far away. Experience the power of scent as you immerse yourself in the warmth and love of your pack, no matter where life takes you.
„That sounds perfect.” Jin whispered satisfied, it sounded really nice. It looked cute and surely you would like it. All that was left for them to choose their own ones to carry and you would be much safer in the future.
„Yea but look...” The packalpha said softly, opening a cleverly designed to conceal link, which unrolled another further information.
Product Warning:
Before purchasing our Plushie Keychain, we want to ensure that you have all the necessary information to make an informed decision. While our Plushie Keychain is designed with the intention of providing comfort and connection to omegas, it's important to exercise caution and consider the specific needs of your omega partner or self.
This Plushie Keychain has the capacity to hold up to five scents, allowing you to incorporate the comforting aromas of your pack members. However, it is crucial to first consult with your omega to determine if this is the right approach for them. Each omega has unique needs and preferences when it comes to emotional support, and the use of scents may not be suitable or effective for everyone.
We recommend engaging in open and honest communication with your omega partner to understand their specific desires and boundaries. Discussing their comfort level with scent-based items is essential before incorporating our Plushie Keychain into your dynamic.
While our Plushie Keychain can be a wonderful tool for fostering a sense of connection and comfort, it is crucial to respect the boundaries and preferences of your omega. If your omega expresses any discomfort or hesitation regarding the use of scents or this product specifically, we encourage you to explore alternative methods of support that align with their needs.
Remember, the well-being and emotional health of your omega should always be prioritized. Understanding and respecting their preferences is key to maintaining a healthy and thriving bond within the omegaverse.
Please exercise caution, engage in open dialogue, and ensure that the use of our Plushie Keychain aligns with the needs and desires of your omega partner or self. Together, you can navigate the omegaverse and nurture a strong and fulfilling connection.
„See? It only holds 5 scents, we need more...but everything else checks the list.” He said, slight dissapointment lacing his voice. Jin frowned, watching Namjoon exit the tab again, going back to the photo listings.
The eldest alpha stayed by for a while longer, the two together narrowing down the search using the filter to show only the 7+ scents options.
Much less options showed then, but still, the alphas eventually agreed on a MIFFY keychain, the packalpha adding it to the cart.
Soon after, Namjoon chose his own keychain he would keep around in case you would need to help get settled. Jin chose one himself, but they waited for the others to make their choice.
Just as the eldest went to ask Yoongi and Hoseok with Taehyung to take a look, the second oldest and youngest preparing spring rolls, you stirred.
Your eyes fluttered open, a soft yawn leaving you. You went to rub your eye with a loosely closed fist, only to have the packalpha lean over immediately.
„Sh-sh-shh, go back to sleep little pup, alpha is right here. I'm not going anywhere sweetheart...”
He said gently, placing your hand back beside the scent-toy, noticing Jungkook's half asleep eyes set on your form.
You whined softly, having the youngest lean over the right very moment, his nose and chin rubbing vigorously over your cheeks and face.
„It's okay babybun, oppa is here...” He whispered, his sweet eyes set on your form.
„B-But oppa...” You whispered, your voice a bit shallow and raspy from all the sobs and crying you did earlier.
At the sound of your voice, all the attention was onto you, Namjoon stopped the carefully tucking of the many blankets around you, his eyes gentle on your form.
„How about alpha reads for you for a bit then, hm? Come here my littlest pup, alpha will keep you safe...” He said softly, caressing your hair.
You whined out but still, nodded in agreement, letting the packalpha gently lift up your head to set onto his lap as he got comfortable.
With a pillow underneath you he so carefully set up for you, Namjoon sighed in content, relief clouding his mind. You were talking and you told them what you needed, even when not fully and completely.
You would be okay.
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˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚⋆·˚ ༘ *𝙎𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙚𝙡 ⋆·˚ ༘ *ੈ✩‧₊˚
Chapter 37
Pairing: BTS Ot7 X fem! reader
Genre: A/B/O AU, Fluff, Angst, Strangers to lovers,
Warnings: None! Enjoy!
Words: 3547
A/N: I have added a small part from the book Thinking Fast and Slow by Daniel Kahneman, and all credit goes to the original writer.
Lots of love, thank you for the support
Taglist: @thelilbutifulthings @ilovemoneymorethenmen @singukieee @cherrysainttt @felicityroth @mageprincess7 @lucis-noctiana @danielle143 @osakis-gf @girl-nahh @vintageoldfashionstyle-blog @neverthefirstchoice @juju-227592 @silentreadersthings @i-have-no-life-charlie @everyonehatesshani @iamkookiesforyou @dragons-flare @fangirl125reader @roseidol @frieschan @popcatx0 @liz67900 @exfolitae @plexcaffeinate @strawblueberrys @massivelyfullenthusiast @iimichie
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Namjoon looked at you gently, his eyes caring. The alpha reached for a book he had been reading for a while now, Thinking Fast and Slow by Daniel Kahneman.
The packalpha kept you close as you layed sweetly tucked away with Jimin and Jungkook on each side of you. The youngest alpha layed in front of you, his eyes sweet and caring on your form.
The young man wasn't able to go to sleep; he was far too worried about you to truly rest. Even when your scent has lifted by now and you don't seem as upset anymore, he was still worried in the back of his mind.
Instead, you just seemed tired and yawny and definitely had enough for the day. They all knew well why this happened and that it would be for the best if you would get to rest up for a while longer.
And so, when your hand reached up and nudged against Namjoon's, looking up at the packalpha with those eyes he learned to adore over time. Looking up at him in hope, he couldn't help but coo at you.
„Aigoo, aren't you just the cutest baby?" He said under his breath, smiling softly so that his dimples showed, letting his much bigger hand cover yours.
You squeezed his fingers slightly, letting your interwoven fingers rest next to you as Namjoon got into reading, his calming timber filling the large room.
"The two systems of thought can best be understood as separate and complementary modes of processing information.
System 1 operates automatically and quickly, without explicit attention or conscious effort or awareness. It operates on the basis of heuristics, the mental shortcuts that allow us to process and respond to the world with remarkable efficiency.
System 2, by contrast, is slow and effortful. It operates with deliberate attention, logical analysis, and conscious reasoning. Although we can voluntarily direct our attention and choose to engage System 2, in most instances, we rely on System 1.
The two systems work in tandem, but they do not work in harmony. System 1 often leads us astray because of its tendency to produce easy, quick, and emotionally pleasing responses that we accept without questioning.
System 2, by contrast, is capable of correcting the errors of System 1, but it takes time and effort to do so."
The packalpha's voice was gentle, calming your eyes as you watched Jungkook's rising and falling chest.
You rested calmly, the oldest of the three alphas settling you down even further. All of the plush and comfortable blankets and fabrics you were tucked away into felt comfortable on your skin.
You didn't understand everything Namjoon was reading to you about, but you found comfort in his presence, and while poetry was sometimes complicated with the language for you, you liked it a lot when he would read for you. And so you listened closely.
„Another key aspect of the two systems of thought is that they are influenced by different types of motivation. System 1 is motivated by the desire for immediate gratification and pleasure, whereas System 2 is motivated by the desire for accuracy and logic.
This means that our mental processes are often influenced by our goals and emotions, which can lead to biases and errors in our thinking and decision-making. It is important to be aware of these biases and to use System 2 to correct for them when possible.”
„Oppa?” You asked softly, playing with the packalpha's fingers as the man looked over to you, the book in hand that was borrowed from the library.
While the alpha owned stacks upon stacks of books, full bookcases in his room until he couldn't get any more, just stacking the stories onto themselves on the floor or any space available.
He has enjoyed going to the libraries since forever. He used to go there to study growing up, but he always loved reading, and the relationship developed as he grew older.
The man didn't get to go that often to see new stories as much as he wished he could, but whenever he could, he left with a bunch to read, even though he knew he wouldn't have enough time to read everything.
He loved visiting bookstores, especially whenever they went to different countries. Sometimes, his packmates would get angry at him for his suitcase going over the weight limit (even though he packed less to keep space for the books he would bring home! ).
„Hm?” He hummed softly, looking at you with soft eyes. He leaned closer to brush your hair behind your ear, smiling at you.
„Do you like cupcakes?" You asked almost in a whisper, your grip tightening onto his fingers.
Even when the mall trip didn't go as well as everyone hoped it might, you remember the sweet time you shared with Jimin earlier this morning when you and him baked.
The almond cupcakes with butter cream that you so carefully decorated and prepared with the sweet help of the alpha were still waiting in the fridge.
You weren't sure if any of the alphas had seen them yet or even had a bite or taste of them, but you really hoped that they would like them. They would, right?
„Of course I do, little pup, do you?” The packalpha wasn't sure where the question came from, but he watched you lovingly.
You nodded. The times when you got to have a sweet treat weren't many, but the last time you tasted a cupcake, probably in elementary school in a baking class, was a nice memory you kept.
„M-Me and Jimin-Oppa made cupcakes for every-one." You whispered softly, having Jungkook's sleepy eyes open wider, soon creasing as he smiled, his teeth showing.
Namjoon followed suit, his dimples on full display as he leaned over, leaving sweet pecks on your forehead.
„Really? Awh, babybun!” The youngest gushed, his arms wrapping you closer to his chest, having Jimin grumble lightly from his deep sleep.
The alpha slept calmly, with occasional soft snores leaving him. He felt content with you in his arms, your back right against his chest as he breathed calmly.
The third youngest made sure you were kept warm and cuddly, as during sleep his body naturally turned warmer as a natural reaction to your omega sleepy scent in close proximity for a longer time.
„That's so sweet of you, pup. Should alphas have a taste now?” The packalpha asked gently, not sure if that was what you wanted.
You nodded bashfully; you really wanted to see their reaction. Before you could say anything, Jimin woke up, lightly rising up as he blinked away his sleep.
„Hyung, you didn't tell me about making cupcakes with babybun!” Jungkook grumbled; he wanted to be the first one to cook with you. Though the eldest would surely be even more jealous,..
Jimin hummed, too sleepy to realise what he was necessarily saying, as he ruffled up his hair, looking over at the alpha, who sported a not too deeply meant frown.
To be truthful, the youngest alpha was still far too excited about the promised sweet treats to get really upset at his hyung for keeping away the exciting news, and he wasn't too upset in general either.
„Come on, bun bun, let's go!” The youngest said happily, picking you up quickly before Jimin could realise that you were suddenly out of his arms; he was already on his way.
The packalpha soon followed, chuckling at Jimin, who grumbled out a soft: What? as he watched you be carried away to the kitchen, closing the book and putting it away.
The two alphas who currently stood in the kitchen, Taehyung and Yoongi, preparing spring rolls, looked over, both smiling at seeing your still slightly dazed, ruffled-up state.
Both of the men had aprons on; the older was in charge of frying and preparing the few different fillings, while the younger helped with folding the spring rolls and making the side dishes.
„Hi kitty.” Yoongi said gently, his gummy smile on full display, as he turned back around to take out the crispy spring rolls.
They made three types, one vegetarian and the other two with meat. The first batch they prepared was already finished, with the filling consisting of cabbage, carrots, cilantro, garlic, and shallots with sesame oil and soy sauce, sugar, and a little rice vinegar and sriracha.
Taehyung was good with the folding; the rice paper never folded over itself, and he was clever in making sure to not place any of them too close to one another so when they would stick to one another.
„Babycheeks, do you want to have a taste? We are still making two more types; will you tell alphas which is your favourite?” You nodded sweetly, going over to the alpha, who smiled widely at you.
He picked up the still warm roll with chopsticks, dipping it into a sauce before he fed it to you, smiling as he saw you chew.
It was crispy but chewy, the filling delicious, and the sauce made the flavours pop even more. You nodded vigorously as you chewed, happy to have tasted something so nice.
„Is it a good kitten?” Yoongi asked gently, stirring the pan with the filling for another batch. This time it had shrimp and ground pork in it, along with fish sauce and some other things like cabbage and carrots.
„It's really tasty, oppa!” You exclaimed, your voice uplifted and happy, as you swallowed before speaking. You were very excited for dinner.
„Princess? Where did you go? ” Jimin's raspy voice from sleep mumbled, the alpha coming over to hug you close, letting his chin rest upon your head.
You hugged the alpha back, your arms wrapping around his waist. He kept you close, letting his scent go over you even more than had already happened.
„Hyung, the cupcakes!” Jungkook hoped to see them already, wanting to have a taste.
„Cupcakes?” Taehyung turned around from spooning the filling into the softening rice paper, his eyes filled with questions and a soft smile on his face. Yoongi looked over his shoulder too, but made sure to pay attention to the frying process.
"Yeah, pup and Jimin-ah made cupcakes for everyone this morning, right?” You nodded in response, agreeing with Namjoon's words. The alpha that helped you hummed softly, agreeing.
„You kept it secret, Hyung!" Tae gasped, acting as if Jimin had betrayed him. The older alpha chuckled.
„You don't have to eat them, Tae-ah." At his words, the younger gasped in offence, abandoning the now freshly folded spring roll and turning around, bewildered eyes on the older.
„Hyung!”
„I'm just joking; don't stress yourself; you'll get white hair."
„You're older; if anyone, you'll be the one with white hair!"
As Jimin went to disagree, your soft giggles interrupted them instead, smiling at them.
„Oppa, look!” You said gently, holding a tray full of the baked cupcakes. Jungkook was already holding one as he chewed on it, and Namjoon was just taking one himself.
Before the two, playfully arguing alphas could realise what was happening, Yoongi himself walked over, praising your work.
„They look really tasty, my kitten. Can I have one too?” He asked you gently, looking at the sprinkles and edible flowers you decorated the carefully done butter cream on top.
„Of course oppa!” You said, the man smiling even wider at your answer, leaning over to give you a caring forehead kiss, letting his hands caress your cheeks before he took one of the corner ones too.
„Bunny you have to bake more often, these are delicious!” Jungkook gushed, happily humming as he chewed, very pleased with the sweet treat.
The youngest was used to keeping a strict diet in check, but he would always make an exception for you. Gosh, he would do anything if he would get to have such sweet treats everyday.
It was fluffy, the batter rose so well, and the buttercream was airy and creamy, and overall a great mix of sweet and sour.
„Oh wow...” Namjoon whispered, tasting the cupcake. Both Jimin and Taehyung bounded over by then, each grabbing one themselves.
The younger hummed loudly, nodding at the taste, agreeing with everyone.
„You're so clever babycheeks! Alpha is very proud.” He said softly, letting you set the tray onto the dining table before he hugged you close, his chin going over your head as he gently rubbed your arms.
You smiled bashfully, not used to getting so many compliments. Just then Jin came inside, freshly showered with his hair only towel dried.
The eldest packmember's cheeks were tinted pink and he wore comfortable clothes. He was quick to notice everyone in the room eating the sweet treat, looking for the source himself. Before he got to ask though, Jungkook already bounded over.
„Hyung, have one too! Babybun and Jimin hyung made cupcakes, they are so good!”
„Really? Aigoo, you're so sweet cub, making a sweet treat for everyone?” He gushed, crouching slightly before you as he pecked your forehead, Taehyung's arms still wrapped around you.
„Oppa helped a-a l-lot...” You whispered softly, feeling bad that they were constantly complimenting you, but the alpha who helped you so much wasn't as praised.
„No, no my princess. I only helped with the mixing, you did everything yourself!” Jimin was quick to let you know, as he smiled at you. The cupcakes were really tasty...
„Is that so? Aren't you just the most clever, little pup. Alpha is very proud of you.” The packalpha said gently, pouring himself a cup of water as he gently watched over you, leaning against the counter.
Seokjin was quick to take one himself, and when he got the first bite of the sweet heaven, his eyes widened, quickly finishing the cupcake in a few bites.
„Peaches it's really tasty! Let's bake more often baby, did you have fun?” At your smiley nod, he gently combed through your hair, already planning the different cakes and treats he would make with you.
The alphas had you take a seat at the dining table, talking to you as they prepared all of the cutlery and plates, glasses and various dishes.
„...Of course you can come with us little kitten, we wouldn't mind. You'll just have to make sure to stick close, okay?” You said an okay, looking forward to when they would take you to their group photoshoot tomorrow.
The packalpha knew that it would require them being very careful, considering you would most likely be entering a slightly busy workspace, but they would always be close by to make sure you were okay.
You would get a VIP pass, and would stick close, and surely you would be okay. Maybe, if you would feel like it, they could take a group photo with you too...
When they would make an announcement, it might come in handy, to have a truly well photographed group picture with the whole pack to post online.
They haven't really talked about when the news would be released to the public, they would have to discuss it with their managers too and set on a precise date.
Namjoon wasn't truly keen on making a structured, email-like message that would come from HYBE directly to the ARMY. Maybe mentioning it in a podcast or a radio show would be smarter and less in everyone's face.
Even when they hoped with every fibre of their being, there were bound to be people disagreeing with this, and so they needed to be careful with the backlash, especially the one purely directed at you.
He could only imagine how stressful this would be for you, and so as a well-structured pack, they knew it would be best for you to have as much time as needed.
They had to figure out more things beforehand anyway; for example, the den was important for everyone, and it would be sweet and precious to have a nice and calm Christmas and New Year too.
The pack has already planned a few upcoming trips and events with you; some they have discussed more, some left only in the back of their minds as an idea to share in the future.
And Jin had a small idea like this at the back of his head for a little while by now, and so, today while you were away at the mall and in the morning with Jimin, the oldest alpha found a little gap in his busy schedule for it.
He had voice training and dance practices pretty much the entire day and got home earlier this afternoon, but before then, he took a short trip to a few clothing boutiques, hoping to find something he was looking for.
The alpha was planning to buy you a swimsuit, but since he wasn't sure of your exact measurements, after a short discussion with the store assistant, he left the few luxury stores with different sizes and styles, hoping at least one of these would be comfortable enough for you to wear with no worries.
Jin didn't know what colours or patterns you would go for; heck, he didn't even know if you would like to go swimming with them. But surely, since you wanted to go to Hawaii to see the sea turtles, you wouldn't mind the water?
And so, the alpha was left with many decisions to face, but in the end, he chose enough of everything so he hoped to get it all covered.
He could imagine you being way too frightened to try swimwear on in the try-on rooms, and so his best bet was to save the receipts and return any that you wouldn't like and wouldn't fit right.
As you all took a seat at the table, a freshly purchased peach juice they knew you liked and wouldn't upset your tummy in a tall glass before you, all of the pack members dug in.
You had a few neatly placed spring rolls on your plate, along with some side dishes like kim-chi or the sweet radish Namjoon plated for you.
„It's really nice, oppa!” You gasped, having the second oldest who sat next to you show a gummy smile, the man saying a soft thank you.
Truth be told, Yoongi was on his knees for you.
„...And what about the Harry Potter series?” You shook your head at Jimin's question, the man's eyes widening.
„We have to watch it, princess! I think you would love it!” He gasped, and Jungkook and Hoseok, who'd come over to the table as soon as the dinner was served, nodded at his thought.
„How about we watch one of the movies tonight, Sunny Bub?" He asked you gently, taking another fried roll into his chopsticks before he placed it on your table, noticing that you only had about two left.
You nodded happily, smiling widely with your eyes creasing slightly.
„Okay...” You said softly, looking forward to the movie. The dinner continued, with everyone enjoying the well-prepared meal.
„Cub?” You looked up from drinking, your eyes meeting Jin's gaze for a little second before you set the glass down, the alpha's sweet eyes watching over you. You hummed in question, listening.
„Would you like to go swimming with alphas tomorrow? We don't have to if you don't want to,-" though, the older man was interrupted by your vigorous nodding and excited gaze.
You didn't swim in years; honestly, you weren't too good at it, but there was always something about it that seemed so fun and calming to you, unless you weren't in too much of a deep water, of course.
"B-But, oppa, I don't have a swi-msuit..." You mumbled, only now remembering.
„It's okay, baby, I went to look for some this morning. Would you like to see them?” You gasped quietly before you nodded happily, sliding off of your chair before you hurried over to the oldest alpha.
Jin took your hand in his, and the other pack members smiled sweetly at your excitement as they started to clean up the table, happy that your mood had lifted even after the terrible afternoon.
„Are we going swimming in the morning then?” Taehyung asked. They would have to leave by ten in the morning at the latest to go for the photoshoot, and they would most likely come back home late in the evening.
„I think so, yeah..." Namjoon said patiently, loading the dishwasher with the others.
„I'm not going to swim in the ice cold morning hell no-” Yoongi went to grumble. Why would he go swimming when he could be sleeping?
„But Hyung, have you seen Sunny's face? She is so excited!” Hoseok gasped, looking at the older man in disbelief. That would break your heart!
Yoongi sighed, closing his eyes for a little while. Sometimes, he would have to sacrifice his sleep for something—or rather, someone—more important.
„...fine.”
The alpha grumbled, shaking his head as he left to go to his room and shower, already expecting them to rest once again together. You would probably fall asleep during the movie, as he could imagine.
Truly, he loved to rest and nap with you on any occasion. You were naturally sleepy and cuddly, and so the alpha that was able to fall asleep anywhere loved to keep you company while you rested.
Yoongi has truly gone soft for an omega—something he didn't think could ever happen to him.
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Next:
˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚⋆·˚ ༘ *𝙎𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙚𝙡 ⋆·˚ ༘ *ੈ✩‧₊˚
• Chapter 38
Pairing: BTS Ot7 X fem! reader
Genre: A/B/O AU, Fluff, Angst, Strangers to lovers,
Warnings: more angsty than usual, mentions of self worth, abandonment
Words: 3557
Taglist: @thelilbutifulthings @ilovemoneymorethenmen @singukieee @cherrysainttt @felicityroth @mageprincess7 @lucis-noctiana @danielle143 @osakis-gf @girl-nahh @vintageoldfashionstyle-blog @neverthefirstchoice @juju-227592 @silentreadersthings @i-have-no-life-charlie @everyonehatesshani @iamkookiesforyou @dragonsflare @fangirl125reader @roseidol @frieschan @popcatx0 @liz67900 @exfolitae @plexcaffeinate @strawblueberrys @massivelyfullenthusiast @iimichie
I might have forgotten someone, please let me know and I'll add you, the list is open :)
So sorry for such a long break I took. I can't make any promises about updates until my finals, but I hope all is well with you. Please let me know if I'll forget any details in the chapters upcoming ;-;
Previous:
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„I wasn't sure which you'd prefer cub, so ...I got many.” The man of usual confidence spoke subtly, scratching his arm as he observed your wide eyes at the array before you.
The large plushy bed had different packages of all colours and styles laid on it; there had to be at least 20 different pieces to choose from—colourful, bold, minimalistic, and more simple cuts—all available.
You knew Jin was thoughtful and truly a caring man, an alpha of the right mind, and seeing all the different options he allowed you to have, just for the sake of your comfort, hit you deeper than you would expect.
You cried so much that day; you were exhausted from doing it over and over, and even as you wished you could just stop with these bothersome happenings, you couldn't help the small tears that brimmed your eyes as you looked at the nervous man.
The shiny eyes you gave him worried him immediately. Did you not like what he chose? Has he chosen too little or too much? Were you overwhelmed?
„Cub, baby, no, no, don't cry, I-”
As he reached for you, his arms grasping at your shoulders, you looked away, quickly wiping at your eyes as you sat at the side of the bed, the alpha doing so too right away.
„I'm sorry, Jin.” You oh so quietly whispered as you watched your hands on your lap, the alpha's hand coming to cover yours, his thumb rubbing over the soft skin.
He gulped away the slight shock of you using just his plain name instead of the honorific you seemed to prefer, though he would be a liar saying he didn't like it either.
„...What for? You don't need to apologise; you never did a thing wrong, you know that, right?” The worried gaze of the older man, as he softly spoke, searched yours, but to no avail.
"I'm sorry, it's so complicated with me.”
„What? Sweetheart you-”
„No, I mean it, Jin, I'm sorry that.. that I cry so much and I require all of these things you would never have to worry about before hand, that I'm so sensitive and closed of, that I bother you too much... I'm just sorry, okay?”
The drop that happened this afternoon took a toll on you; all could recognise, but the eldest didn't expect this—he didn't expect that you would start to apologise.
Apologise for the things they never would mind about you—all that could only strengthen your bond and help it solidify. Let them care for you. Did you not understand how much they needed you? You should depend on them; let them, for once in their lives, truly freely indulge in the option to care for someone else, fill their needs, and stop holding back.
„Y/N, don't ever say sorry for something that isn't to apologise for, okay?” His voice was soft, his palm squeezing yours gently. But you didn't answer, only a small shrug leaving you.
„...You know, when I was younger, before we debuted, it was so difficult to be an alpha, I mean. We would train all the time, have no time to create relationships, and hardly had time for our family packs, yet our relationship wasn't as strong as it is today, as you can imagine... It was a mess, a true mess.”
The low timber of his voice washed over you as you allowed yourself to listen to his calm voice. He wasn't fretting over you, staying serious and communicative instead of letting the sometimes overwhelming mindset of his second gender take over, much like they usually would when it came to you.
„Jungkookie was just a boy back then; he still went to his school, but I think it took the toll on him the greatest—me and the olders like Yoongi and even Minnie and Tae all already started to grow more self-sufficient; we all stopped being so dependent on our family packs, making the transition smoother, but gosh, ...Kook-ah was just too young.”
You recognised the regret in his voice, the way his voice lightly shook as he looked at the ceiling, blinking rapidly—he too was about to cry, you could tell. Yet as you were about to reach your hand from his and console him like he has done so many times for you, Jin looked over, a small yet smiley, watery frown on his face.
„No peaches, let me finish telling you about this; it's so important for you to know,” and you could only nod slightly, this time your fingers tightening upon his „about how much you help, I think you don't even realise.”
„He barely presented when we started as trainees, and we were all alphas, BigHit mostly highers alphas and betas only, especially for idols, so Jungkook hardly ever got to care for someone, anything really, and I regret ever letting him do it to himself, god, you don't understand how much I do.”
As one of the most beautiful eyes you've ever seen shed their first tear, the elder too was quick to wipe them away, mimicking just what you had done a while earlier.
„We could never fill that role for him; I could do so much for him—act as an older brother, be there for him during his graduation ceremony, and whatnot—but he was just so desperate to have a soul to care for... that, that we could never give to him.
And we needed one like that too, but no matter who BigHit would hire, gosh, it was just so uncomfortable, you can't even imagine. But that was the most we could ever get, unless we would have someone sign NDA's and other bullshit you just don't bring up on the first date, you know?”
The alpha sighed, reviving the old memories he had buried so long ago.
„Sometimes we would unintentionally just start coddling Kook too; he was the youngest, and it just happened on its own, but then later, as we got older, he would snap at us, all valid though looking back at it now...
I just... Y/N I just want you to know that we had never ever, and I promise you, I've met many, gotten around to such a precious gem like you are. Whatever we do with you just feels right, and you must understand, please, that you are far more precious to us than you'd ever think you are. And I'm so sorry we don't let you know enough.”
Jin looked your way, his eyes once again searching yours, now with much more vigour and need. He needed you to know just how well you filled that deep hollow carved in their chest throughout the years of disappointment and sadness.
„Jin-”
„I'm serious, Y/N. I would never lie to you about this. How could I? I know people didn't treat you the way they should; I know you are hurting deep inside; and I know one conversation like this just won't smooth the hurt away, and I'm so, so, very sorry it's that way. I'm sorry they hurt you, my precious cub, and I promise I'll never let you hurt alone again. Just let us be there for you, truly.”
This time, his voice was firm, his eyes holding yours until they blurred with tears. You felt sorry for them, for Jungkookie being so lonely, and you felt sorry for them, for you believed they deserved so much better than you could ever be there to offer.
And so you could only reach out for him, your hands clasping to his shoulders as the alpha lifted you over to his lap, letting both his and your tears cascade, soft sniffles and sobs filling the room.
The eldest held you like you were just the finest, most perfect work of art he was blessed to lay eyes upon. With care and the upmost love the man could offer, you deserved it all.
He let his chin rest upon the top of your head, and as you hid in the crook of his neck, your nose resting close to the scent gland offering a mean to calm you, you noticed a sad undertone you didn't recognise that well there, too close for your comfort.
Jin was upset; he was upset at how little you thought of yourself, how complicated your life has been, and how terribly the people meant to cherish you would treat you. He was so upset and just wished to take all the hurt you so delicately stored in your heart away and just heal you in his arms.
„...I just am s-so scared of getting attached... and losing you, oppa.” Your gentle voice against his ears, the reality of all the issues, drops, and tears shared with you and the pack downing on him.
You didn't want to let yourself be comforted deep inside, letting their words heal just the surface of the problems while the calm waves above hid the true storm below.
Gosh, he should have realised, Jin cursed himself as he held you just closer.
„Oh, Y/N, we would never leave you, sweetheart, never... Have you not seen how much we grew to you over time? We need you so much, Y/N, you can't even imagine.”
The man known for his confidence once again seemed to have lost his words, though his actions spoke louder as he just held you closer, letting the tears fall as his soft tears turned into loud sobs, holding you to his chest.
You let your legs wrap around his slim waist, the alpha answering by squeezing you even more, as if you were to disappear, to hurt when he wouldn't be there to offer his hold.
Not many times were offered for you to learn to comfort and console someone, but with them, it felt different, open, and never uncomfortable to do actions you'd never even think you'd ever even try with anyone else.
And so, you allowed your second gender tendencies to guide you, your own cheek flush against his neek and jaw as you rubbed your scent over the scent gland, sending distressed waves through the room.
Just as you were in the middle of the scenting, hopefully helping the alpha calm down, a soft knock sounded on the doors, followed by a deep voice you grew to recognise easily.
„Hyung? Kitten, is everything okay?”
To be truthful, the man sensed something wrong all too long ago, and so as he, Jungkook and Hoseok were preparing the little snacks like popcorn and drinks to have during the movie night, he felt his heart strings twitch.
But all seemed well around the kitchen and so in the living room, as Jimin and Taehyung argued about whether they should watch the first movie with Japanese dabing or Korean dabing with Japanese subtitles.
He couldn't see Namjoon, a soft frown settling upon his smooth complexion. Though he heard the close doors shut, he could smell the pack alpha approaching, just with a package in his arms, the two younger alphas gasping upon seeing him.
And so, that only left you and Jin, and after a while of the slight distress going through the bond, Yoongi grew worried the others would pick upon it too.
Not that he didn't want them to not know whatever was going on, but if it regarded you, he noticed how the large group could be just too much sometimes, and so he abandoned the softly popping popcorn, letting Hobi take over as he went to investigate.
As he came closer to Jin's bedroom, only then could he recognise the alpha's upset scent, shocking the younger. He realised he had only seen the eldest cry a handful of times and heard the soft sobs coming behind the room—no, that wasn't the sweet omega they grew to pamper over time; that was his hyung, an alpha who holds back his tears until the very last strength he holds, until he crumbles.
And for once in a long time, the usually calm and composed man grew unsure of his next steps. Should he let him be, or should he come in, one or another? But the moment he heard your sniffles, he decided to knock.
After his voice, it was quiet for a bit, and when he got no response, Yoongi gently cracked the doors open, a sudden heavy, distressed, and sad scent clouding his senses.
The man's eyes widened, yet he didn't peer into the room, choosing to face it sideways, as if to give you privacy. He wasn't there to giggle at your sadness; he wasn't there to oogle at you and tease you both later. No, he was there to help.
„Hey,... Hey, is everything okay? Should I go grab someone?” The slight unsureness of his voice made it easy to decipher that he did not know how to approach the situation. His hyung was an alpha after all; it would only do more damage if he started comforting him, and neither did Yoongi necessarily want to do so.
„N-No, it's okay, you can come in.” You had never heard Jin stutter, and the soft and defeated voice he held squeezed your heart.
The doors shut soon after, and it took a few seconds for the younger to compose himself, seeing the dishevelled older alpha and how softly you were scenting him. Even in the darkened mood, Yoongi saw the light; you looked comfortable, comforting the older. Another step towards the hopefully near future.
„...What happened?” He asked softly, coming closer with shuffling steps, his loose sweats, and a hoodie matching the sluggish movement of his.
The man too sat down next to you both; instead of hugging the elder, he chose to let his fingers gently comb through your hair and instead put soft eyes over the pair. Only then did you stop the profound scenting; your glossy eyes, too glossy for the alpha's liking, took hold of his worried gaze.
„...It's okay...me and oppa talked about some stuff.;” It was you who spoke up as Jin's soft sniffles quieted down, his hold lightly loosening as he sat up better.
The teary soft smile he gave you was heartbreaking, but you understood well what his eyes said: „We would never abandon you, never in a million years.”
And you felt comforted. You trusted the man with all you had; the littlest amount of trust you could offer was all theirs.
„I'm sorry, Yoongi-ah, I didn't mean to cry like this.” The bitter chuckle that left the elder had the other alpha in slight shock, his cat-like eyes widening.
„Hyung, I don't..." yet his sentence didn't follow, the man choosing to stay quiet, his palm falling upon the elder's arm in a small squeeze, possibly to comfort, acknowledge, or both.
Yoongi would lie if he said he didn't feel like crying at least once because of the hurt you stored in your fragile heart. He had never felt that way, which confused him slightly. He would have never cried because someone took their problems out on the one he grew to care for. Sure, he would have been angry, but not in the same way as with you.
„...Let's talk downstairs, okay? That way, you don't have to repeat anything uncomfortable.” Jin's lightly raspy voice sounded, and the softest peck imaginable landing just at your temple. A last squeeze was shared between you two as you slowly climbed out of bed. The other alpha was quick to take hold of your left hand as the eldest held your right.
And as you came closer to the living room, full of soft and sweet ruckus, the first to notice the reddened cheeks on Jin was the youngest, the doe eyes widening as he gasped a soft „Hyung!” abandoning the chip packet and approaching quickly.
Your eyes also shined too much for his liking, but before he could voice any distress, the second-eldest shushed him already.
„Let's all talk together, Koo.” Yoongi's voice was firm, shutting any questions about to spill as the others worried glances fell upon both Jin and you.
It didn't take long before you all took a seat upon the couches; all could be dispersed yet sticking together, your seat between the olders. Hobi was quick to offer you both a tissue or two, his distressed eyes set watching closely, as if to seek a way he could allow himself to help once.
None of the others were any better, just wishing to hold you close and never have to worry about anything wrong coming your way ever again. God, they'd do anything if it meant you'd be safe and sound.
"...Me and Jin oppa had a talk, and I...” Your soft voice, starting confident, seemed to grow colder and more shaky with each passing word, dying out too soon for their liking.
But with the men's fingers holding yours closer if possible, you continued, describing just how sorry you were for all the worry you put them through whenever they would take you out and how difficult you were, voicing your worries and distress.
"...I'm so scared, so scared of how much I rely on you, and I'm just so worried you'll be gone soon, and I just don't want to be alone again.” You didn't dare look up for the entire time of your rant, thought before you knew it, just before you an alpha fell to his knees.
Jungkook, his bright eyes shining with tears as he too softly cried, much like many of the others.
„Y/N, baby..” The gaze of pure heartbreak he gave you had you looking away, his hands holding your cheeks to make you look back at him again, tears welling up in both his and your eyes, hands trembling with emotion. The pack members exchanged pained glances, realising the depth of your fear of being alone.
"I know... I know you all care for me. And that's what scares me the most—the thought of losing this, losing all of you. I don't think I could live again."
The youngest too broke into sobs just as the elder had before, his arms taking you from the pair as he gently pulled you to his lap, his nose hidden in the very crook of your neck, his body tense with sorrow.
He could never forgive himself for not being there for you when you needed them the most.
The entire pack mourned with sorrows, and even after the others calmed down over time, the pack alpha, the quickest to recover from having to constantly blink his tears away, would envelop you both in his embrace, the softest shushes leaving his lips as he promised on his life that he would never leave you.
„...alpha would never lie to you, my sweetest love; you know that, right? I'll always be here, for all you need.”
And soon after, Namjoon pulled both of you back onto the couch, letting the youngest latch onto you, the omega he grew to desire and need over the time shared, as the packalpha rubbed the small of your back, a touch of comfort.
You didn't cry; just a few sniffles left you ever so often, yet you shook like a feather in the wind realising how open you were about yourself after such a long time.
Years it took you to be vulnerable with someone other than your throughts, and years it took for you to find someone in your life who didn't take advantage of you even then.
And so, as it dawned on you just how purehearted the pack was, you allowed yourself to truly relax and be truly assailable yet with no fear, a luxury you never realised was foreign.
When Jimin leaned over to softly ask you if you still wanted to watch the movie, you nodded, sending the man a reassuring smile. The alpha smiled back, gently wiping away any tears astray on your cheeks as he held out a blanket for you to cuddle under, a soft thank you leaving you, letting the older tuck you under. Jungkook was quick to shuffle under the warmth too.
Not long after did all the alphas rest into comforting places, though to be truthful, all in the end unconsciously formed around you, your soft body closely held in the very centre, like the most precious gem, just as Jin described earlier, laid in the deepest of the dragon's lair.
When the first Harry Potter movie started playing, the Japanese subtitles turned on, even if you didn't need them, for you was a thought that mattered; the alphas took you into consideration, and you appreciated it more than you'd allow yourself to think you'd do.
Hobi would lean over, whispering soft, teasing comments about how each character was a bit too silly to begin with, telling you about your house, a true Hufflepuff he claimed, and joking around softly with the new words created in the universe. And deep down you knew he was trying to cheer you up.
You grew to like the story of the movie, not even realising how much time has passed, tiredness coming over you when your eyes fluttered shut, the last memory of the night of Jungkook's arms gently wrapped around your waist, his chest warming up your back as he whispered into your ear with a soft timber:
„Sleep tight, bunny. I love you so much.” Sealing his promise with a soft kiss to the top of your head.
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Next:
˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚⋆·˚ ༘ *𝙎𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙚𝙡 ⋆·˚ ༘ *ੈ✩‧₊˚
• Chapter 39
Pairing: BTS Ot7 X fem! reader
Genre: A/B/O AU, Fluff, Angst, Strangers to lovers,
Warnings: mentions of self worth and body image acknowledgement
Words: 4309
Taglist: @thelilbutifulthings @ilovemoneymorethenmen @singukieee @cherrysainttt @felicityroth @mageprincess7 @lucis-noctiana @danielle143 @osakis-gf @girl-nahh @vintageoldfashionstyle-blog @neverthefirstchoice @juju-227592 @silentreadersthings @i-have-no-life-charlie @everyonehatesshani @iamkookiesforyou @dragonsflare @fangirl125reader @roseidol @frieschan @popcatx0 @liz67900 @exfolitae @plexcaffeinate @strawblueberrys @massivelyfullenthusiast @iimichie
Previous:
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The soft snow patterned down outside, the cold wind blowing—a true romantic yet icy winter outside.
The alpha wished times were different; the snow bite was too harsh on the man's skin. The times weren't great, for sure, to say the least, but he was so close. He wouldn't give up just yet, a still storm crashing in his soul.
His pack needed to connect once again; he would come back and greet the omega he had missed already.
„..Just a little while longer.” He hushed into the darkness surrounding him, taking another shortcut, and stepped quickly, with warm fog rising from his lips.
❄️
You woke up too early for the night to have passed. Soft snores sounded around you, thought you didn't mind too much; the warmth was comforting and sweet.
As you looked around yourself, eyes still bleary, you could only recognise their scents—too dark for you to see anything much else than that.
Jungkook's scent seemed to be the closest, the comforting musky vanilla and banana blooms close as his chin rested just above your head, his arms wrapped around you, limbs entangled and close.
The alpha's chest rose and fell softly, occasional puffs and snores leaving him. He was as calm as the others, no one disturbing the chilly night as the other pack members too slept.
A few seconds passed until you could see better and could recognise Hoseok's hand, the alpha still wearing a bracelet he had yesterday, as your eyes followed his arm, you soon saw the back of his tousled dark hair facing you.
Close to your front laid Jimin, a pillow resting under him while he held the blanket covering you tightly in one of his hands, the other caressing yours—he must have woke up only now you realised.
And so you looked up, seeing his soft, creased eyes watching you with gentleness.
„...Princess, you should sleep some more, hm?” The alpha's voice whispered, a deep rasp breaking the quietness around you.
You blinked up at him, his fingers squeezing yours in answer, resulting in a sweet shrug leaving you.
At Jimin's soft chuckle, a slight shuffling followed, his eyes blown wide with a smile as the alpha waited for the unknown pack member to settle back down into calmer sleep. A soft giggle left the both of you.
„I'm not tired anymore, oppa.” You whispered back, realising you must have slept too much yesterday.
"Are you sure, sweetheart?” He asked you gently, but when you nodded again, the alpha didn't put up much of a fight. Maybe you will feel tired soon after and just need to occupy your mind for a little while.
„What would you like to do then?” The alpha started to sit up, shuffling closer to you carefully to not push on any of the still-sleeping pack mates.
„You should sleep, oppa... I'll find something to do.” You whispered softly, and before the man could even answer, you were already trying to untangle yourself from the youngest arms—a mistake it turned out to be.
A soft gasp left the man as soon as your form started to leave his hold, the young alpha's eyes shooting open immediately.
„Bunny-!” He gasped out, his arms pulling you closer until you were flush to his chest. As soon as you recognised the look in his eyes, one of pure terror, it didn't take long for guilt to arrive.
At the man's still tired yet afraid voice, the others were jostled awake, still on edge with all that happened in the last 24 hours. The men were quick to sit up, Namjoon the fastest to move the closest, his warm hands cradling you close as much as the hold the youngest paid on you allowed.
„Hey, hey, pup, it's okay.” His voice was heavily laced with sleep; the pack alpha rubbed at his eyes yet quickly returned his hold onto you, fingers gently combing through your hair.
„I thought you were being taken away!" Jungkooked gasped, his eyes shining in the little light entering through the windows. Your hands snaked around his waist as you hugged the startled man close, the others still too sleepy to realise what was really going on.
„'M sorry, Kook oppa...” You whispered in his ears, a small nudge to his scent gland hoped to forgive from your cheek, resting it against his collarbone.
He held you tighter as the wild beat of his heart slowed down, the calming pheromones clouding the entire room.
But as he was about to lay back down on his back, planning to cuddle you to his chest, the man's eyes were almost closing already, and you started to wiggle out of his grasp.
"I'm not tired anymore.!” You whispered a soft whine, Jungkook's movements stilling—you were always so cuddly and sleepy. What does this mean now?
The men were quick to complain, reminding you of the importance of good quality sleep, or else you could be sick and get headaches, and they didn't want that to happen, especially if you wanted to go swimming in the morning too.
Sweet sleep-laced voices filled the air, consisting of gentle: „Baby pup, don't be silly now; come here; Alpha will make it better.” „Babycheeks, my angel, it's still nighttime; come cuddle with oppa.“
Yet you held your truth, and after a bit of discussion, Jungkook laced your fingers with his, and with a soft grumble, he climbed out of the warmed blankets and pillows, letting you lead him upstairs to your room, where a bunch of bags from one of your past shopping sprees with them were stored in your walk-in closet.
"What would you like to do, baby bun? Should we play some games? Or maybe you would like to watch a movie with me? Fuck, I'm wrecked.” Whispering the last sentence to himself, Jungkook rubbed his face and ruffled up his hair, sleepy all over.
He was truly ready to just get you anything; as long as you would come back to the large couch serving as the makeshift den, it didn't matter what.
You could grab his phone, which he would happily provide, and go scroll through whatever you saw fit. He wouldn't mind; you held the softest place in his heart. He couldn't believe how he reacted; aish, seriously!, he scolded himself with a warm blush covering his puffy-with-sleep cheeks.
But you already had an idea as to what you wished to occupy your for-some-reason hyperactive hands, pulling out the kit one of the alphas had found for you at the art store you visited a few days ago.
It was for bead and charm necklaces and bracelets, and so, with a sweet smile on your face, you let Jungkook pull you back downstairs with sleepy steps, his attire matching the sleep-ridden attire.
He was quick to climb back into the makeshift den, only now looking for what was so interesting for you to wake up for in the middle of the night.
„You want to make bracelets with us, bunny?”
„For you,” you corrected him, letting the alpha pull you close with a sweet bunny smile gracing his lips.
The others weren't much better. Yoongi, who has patiently waited for your return while some of the others were already soon to nod off, now even closer to Dreamland considering your comfortable scent entered their senses again, could only smile wider, turning the phone he was checking back off.
It was only about 3 in the morning, but you were still the cutest thing ever, to him at least.
And so, as the rest eventually fell asleep, with Jungkook half asleep and half awake, holding you on his lap as he sat cross-legged, his head resting against Namjoon's shoulder, Yoongi stayed up with you, helping you choose the beads you found fit your taste the best. Not that they were for you, but rather them, yet you paid the closest attention with the warm yellow light from a standing lamp turned on.
The alpha's nimble fingers helped you tie the knots, quick to mumble about you being careful, watching with worried eyes as you used the needle to get the smallest beads on the elastic clear string.
The youngest acted as if he were awake the whole time, grumbling any moment you would giggle or Yoongi would tease him when his snores filled the still air around him.
His palm rested on his thigh and partly yours, open to let you place the cute chunky and unusual charms you wanted to scatter through the different sets you were working on for them.
The set purchased offered many different styles, cute and edgy, enabling you to create one for each of the alphas. While Yoongi tried his best to make a necklace and a bracelet for you, though his much bigger hand struggled more than he would like to admit compared to you.
The first bracelet you made was for the second oldest too. Many small black beads were combined with dark greys and milky white to create a simple but fashionable pattern with a small but pretty star and a few small silver hearts clicking and creating soft sounds when moved.
Once you tied the knot on the clasp, you nudged the older man's knee, having him look up from rummaging through the many small charms from which he was just finding the best fit. He hummed in question, but when you placed the bracelet in his palm with expectant eyes, his eyes closed with the smile he offered.
„Aish, you're too cute, kitten. Thank you.” He grumbled his cheeks warm as he felt shy yet lovely at your soft presence, letting you close the silver clasp around his slim wrist, the alpha long smiling even as you got around to make the jewellery for the others.
You took your time, carefully measuring Jungkook's wrist size, and threaded on the many small glossy beads and charms, creating a combination of dark green, purple, blue, and black; the colourful misty beads were larger in between the fillers. You chose the charm of a silver star, a bunny, and a little flower too, those reminding you of him.
The alpha hardly even stirred when you put it on his right wrist, but you knew he would be there to thank you in the morning.
And so, you spend the time until you grew tired of tieing and choosing the right beads that remind you of each of the men. Amid your work, Yoongi got your attention, a soft „Here kitten, for you,” sounding to make you look up.
The man wasn't used to making much handcraft; it was Hobi who loved to make bracelets and keychains like these; he hardly ever tried, and he was worried that the set—a necklace and a bracelet—would never be enough to compliment your beauty; in his eyes, his work would never be enough.
But the moment you set your eyes on the small, handmade jewellery, a soft gasp left you. You were surprised at how pretty it was, the many tiny beads shining in different shades of F/C, and exactly the nine charms you recognised meanings of easily: a small curled-up kitten, a shiny crown inlaid with small gems, a cute bunny, a tiny puppy, a peach emoji, a small sun, and a cute angel wing.
You knew to which all were meant to remind you, and when you notice the snowflake and a heart in-between, the alpha noticed you looking at the two charms in wonder, he grew shy, unsure if you liked them.
„...we met when it was snowing out, remember?”
He whispered, looking away, but before he knew it, your arms wrapped around him tighter than ever, the man surprised for a little before he returned the warm hug himself, melting into the embrace.
The necklace was a combination of little pearls and a few of the same shades used in the bracelet too in order to match. This time it was just the snowflake charm in the very front, smaller and more dainty for a comfortable everyday wear - you would happily indulge in.
It didn't take much longer after that before the ones you have finished laid on the floor next to the box of beads, yet to have cut off the elastic but ready to be given in the morning which would soon approach.
And so, Yoongi who has given up one of the most precious things to him, sleep, in order for you to not have to lay around with nothing to do bored out of your mind, soon hugged you as you rested your ear against his chest, a few of the others too cuddling close, Jungkook's arms still wrapped around your waist.
It wasn't much time before the first wake-up alarm sounded, yet you stayed in the soft slumber, suddenly tired. Who would think?
Jin like usual was the first to wake up, rising grudgily and shutting the alarm off. The eldest was ready to go just back to sleep right away, but when he noticed the time, just a little past 6 am, he knew that won't work. As long as they still wanted to swim like promised.
And so, the alpha leaned over the couch arm rest, shaking Hoseok's arm, having the man in a while later awake and climbing off the couch to help the eldest with the breakfast.
Like usual, Jin was already washing the rice as it took time to cook in the rice cooker even if they used two, the other alpha was quick to take note of the few ingredients needed for the Pajeon, starting the preparation for the pancakes.
He had done them many times to know the measurements by eye already, and so as the eldest started the rice cookers, the alpha would mix water, flour, eggs, cutting up the few scallions he first rinsed and washed well, letting the pieces be large enough. He would then add only a small amount of soybean paste and sugar, mixing the batter.
Just as Hobi started frying the large pancakes, at the sound and smell of food few of the others would start to climb out of bed, the one to greet them first would be Teahyung, but just as quick as he came he was gone, Jin's soft command to get the Kimbap ready making the man quick to flee.
The next to climb out of the makeshift sleep space was the pack alpha, who made sure to also wake the others up to eat soon, yet he let you sleep soundly wanting you to rest longer.
It didn't take much time before the breakfast was ready, an array of different dishes, some sweet some salty and spicy, all offered so the pack could eat well.
Only when Jungkook also shuffled to a seat, quick to take chopsticks and start plating himself a dish, did Jin notice you and Yoongi were still asleep.
The eldest stopped stuffing the dishwasher, stretching from being hunched for a while and took the few steps over to the couch where he found the two in question.
Yoongi slept soundly, soft puffs of air leaving him rhythmically as he cradled you to his chest a loose t-shirt and sweats on. You were hidden under heavy duvets thought the eldest doubted you would need anything to warm you up, the alpha most definitely working as the most able furnace.
Your eyes were slightly open, yet your face was almost fully hidden in the man's chest, letting you rest fully with his scent around you, the calming and sleepy pheromones working wonders.
„Peaches? Do you want to go swimming now?” While he would have preferred you to eat a filling breakfast first, they were running on time crunch already as it was just about 7. If they wanted to have some fun at the pool, they would still need to be ready to leave at 10 the latest. And they could always order you something to have on the set, no matter the annoyed staff with their strict: 'no eating on set!' rules.
At your small nod Jin smiled fondly, helping you wake Yoongi up, and even as the man grew annoyed with you climbing out of his embrace, it took him only a few minutes before he composed himself, too to go eat.
He was the only one eating at the table then, the others getting ready and changing into their swimsuits. He would catch up soon he told himself, preparing a cup of coffe first.
The first to run down the stairs in a pair of flip flops was Taehyung, a loose tank top over his chest while he wore a pair of dark red swim shorts.
Only a few seconds after was Jungkook, in turn having a towel wrapped around his naked chest while he had jet black swimwear, his shoes loudly sounding through the hallway as he ran after the second youngest, giggling about something.
Soon after the sliding doors to the garden at the back porch could be heard with beeping sounds that soon turned off, but Yoongi paid it no mind.
The next to be seen run over to the heated pool was Hoseok, with a embroidered towel of the KAWS figure. There was a large JHOPE signature in one of the corners in white thread, shining against the colourful background. No doubt has it been done for the singer as a unique piece.
The alpha wore a patterned swimsuit, radiating his energy like usual, and, to no surprise on his wrist jiggled the bracelet you had done for him during the night, the man wearing it proudly, thanking you just after breakfast. He woke up wearing it, after all.
Just a step behind him followed Namjoon and Jimin, who wore cream coloured Louis Vuitton trunks with dark navy trimmings and a tight black swim top which nicely complimented his body form.
Namjoon had a pair of simple black swimsuit on with small white accents and a large bold lettering describing the brand - Dolce & Gabbana. With a towel around his neck he made his was downstairs, following the younger on the way to the pool.
None of the men he had seen now made him want to look up as much as when you entered, a shy calculated steps as you wore a pair of simple crocks with a few jibbets, no question purchased by Jin considering their colour.
The alpha held your hand as he guided you back downstairs, the pink with red trim on his swimsuit matching the colour of your shoewear, but he also had a simple black sleeve on not likely intended for the water.
He combed his hair back with the other hand he held a pair of towels in, one a soft shade of purple the other a simple black. Yoongi didn't bat an eye at Jin, but when he noticed your figure, shy as ever but even more beautiful, that's only when he took a second look.
You looked adorable, yet so shy and uncertain, even when the eldest would encourage you that you looked like the prettiest omega in the entire universe and that you didn't need to be afraid of not knowing how to swim well, that they wouldn't let you struggle a single moment.
From the time Jin took you back to the room, this time to truly choose the swimsuit, not like yesterday with the side tracking, he let you try as many as you liked, only coming into his spacious bathroom if you invited him.
You tried all of the over twenty pieces, still you showed him only a small handful, the ones in which you felt the most confident considering you were facing one of the prettiest men you have ever seen.
Truly believed that you would never be able to compare to the others he had likely seen in swimsuits, you felt ashamed even if nothing was wrong with your body, in the truest alpha's believe a feast for the eyes.
„Cub that colour goes so well with your hair too, and the cut is really flattering too...”
„Ah seriously what a blessing to see you looking so perfect and beautiful, peaches I love that pair on you!” the older would gush, having you hiding your pink cheeks in embarrassment.
In the end you took the one piece from Dior, which had a beautiful powder blue lining and a flattering mapping of cream colour with black thin lined flower detailing in the front panel, the straps over your shoulder thick to tie in a beautiful loose bow that would cascade down your arms. It was a truly flattering piece, and you felt nice in it, especially after Jin made sure you knew just how pretty you were.
Placing the cup back onto the table, Yoongi was quick to stand up, coming over to look closer, if you allowed that. But your hands took his waist into a soft embrace in answer to his amazed gaze, and the alpha was quick to return it.
While he wasn't necessarily keen on going swimming this early in the morning, seeing how pretty you looked, he couldn't give up on that and was quick to finish his coffee in a few gulps as Jin led you towards the back doors, going upstairs to also change.
„Here, cub, let me wrap you up; it's snowing outside.” He whispered gently to your ear as he flanked you in the two towels, and before you could even protest, he picked you up into his embrace, your head resting against his wide shoulders.
„You won't have to step in the snow now; let oppa carry you, little cub.” He argued, holding you in his arms as he slid the doors open, the freezing cold air immediately hitting both of you.
Just as Jin cursed quietly, the snow fell around you. The man was quick to start a very brisk walk the few tens of metres until he arrived at the covered pool, the semicircular clear dome allowing one to see the pack members already inside.
Placing you back on your feet tenderly, the eldest hurried to slide the doors open, ushering you first in, and only the moment after he entered did he sigh out.
The sudden noisiness of the closed-off space, considering it to be hollow, surprised you a little. Loud water splashed as it cascaded down one of the water massagers you have only ever seen in spa advertisements.
„Babycheeks!” Taehyung gasped, a large boxy smile taking over his face, abandoning the other young brothers, who were just setting up the net for the volleyball match they were planning to play.
The second-youngest alpha was quick to swim over to the edge, effortlessly pulling himself up to greet you. Water rained down his tan skin as he shook his hair.
Just as he was about to hug you, you squeaked a soft gasp, the towels falling off of your body. You didn't want to get wet yet; your skin was still warmed up from being asleep for so long, and even if the pool water was warmed, you needed to get to the point of being fully submerged slowly anyway!
Before you could even complain, the alpha was once again reaching for you, stepping closer, and having you gasp again.
And so, as the alpha taunted to hug you, you did your best to escape him. As you were running near the edge, with the other men already in the water except Jin, who was very attentively applying lip balm, you felt his cold hand just at your shoulder, just before you slipped into the water yourself.
The sudden cold embrace from the soft waves you received did nothing to calm you down. Even if you were under the surface for a bare second or two, the water level was not that high for you to not reach the bottom at this end, and you were startled.
And so when you resurfaced, hearing the worried calls of the alphas surrounding you as they were quick to make their way over, you let a soft whimper leave you, having Namjoon, who reached you the quickest, pull you to himself right away, your distress breaking his heart.
A soft frown settled between his eyebrows, watching as guilty Taehyung too climbed into the water hastily, wanting to comfort you and apologise.
He didn't mean to startle you so much you would lose your footing, but the edges especially were slippery, and considering you abandoned your shoes at the entrance as did the others, it was a question of time before you would slip.
„Oh my god, princess, are you okay? Yah, Taehyung, can't you be any less careful?!” The alpha gasped, his hands squeezing your palm, which held onto the packalpha's shoulder, your eyes blown wide and startled.
You really weren't confident in your swimming at all, and if you were at the deeper end, where even Namjoon hardly reaches the bottom, you could have ended far worse.
But, to be truthful, there was something fun about jumping into the water like that, with the loud splash sounding around. And so you mumbled a soft yes, saying that you were okay, and no, you wanted to stay in the water longer.
Soon after you were done answering their questions, letting them fret over you subtly but staying with the alpha longer, your legs wrapped around his waist as he held you to his chest with soft pheromones ghosting around you.
The water was much warmer than you'd expected, and after even the second oldest joined you, at the invitation to play the water volleyball with them, you agreed, receiving a wide, dimpled smile as Namjoon promised to stay on your team so you could hold onto him any time you would be afraid again.
„It's okay, pup, hm? Alpha loves to hold you close, baby; don't worry about a thing now.”
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Next:
˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚⋆·˚ ༘ *𝙎𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙚𝙡 ⋆·˚ ༘ *ੈ✩‧₊˚
• Chapter 40
Pairing: BTS Ot7 X fem! reader
Genre: A/B/O AU, Fluff, Angst, Strangers to lovers,
Warnings: none! Enjoy!
Words: 3356
Taglist: @thelilbutifulthings @ilovemoneymorethenmen @singukieee @cherrysainttt @felicityroth @mageprincess7 @lucis-noctiana @danielle143 @osakis-gf @girl-nahh @vintageoldfashionstyle-blog @neverthefirstchoice @juju-227592 @silentreadersthings @i-have-no-life-charlie @everyonehatesshani @iamkookiesforyou @dragonsflare @fangirl125reader @roseidol @frieschan @popcatx0 @liz67900 @exfolitae @plexcaffeinate @strawblueberrys @massivelyfullenthusiast @iimichie @bts-0t-7 @hannahdinse8 @hannahdinse8
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Previous:
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„Hyung, that's unfair; I wanted to be with Bunbun!” Jungkook whined when the teams got divided. Except for Namjoon, all played rock, paper, scissors to see which team would be theirs.
It ended with you, Hoseok, Namjoon, and Jimin on one, while Jin, Jungkook, Taehyung, and Yoongi would play opposites. After the second eldest would actually get into the pool, that is, as he rumbled annoyed that it's too early for this, while he placed the previously scattered towels into a neat pile.
Your team got the more shallow side of the water area; not that the opposite was too crazily sloped, though—that just really wouldn't be fair.
Plus, except for maybe Yoongi, the alphas were very tall, so they would be fine; you believed not to feel too guilty.
All of you soon gathered just at the net border to talk before the game.
Jungkook, with his competitive spirit shining through, began, "Alright, let's go over the rules real quick before we get started. That way, we're all on the same page."
Taehyung jumped in, adding, "Scoring works like this—we'll play to 15 points. You score a point when the ball hits the water on the other team's side." The young alpha measured your team with attentive eyes, a supportive yet competitive gaze that met yours.
„And also, remember, when serving, make sure the ball goes over the net and the other team has a chance to return it. Let's have fun!"
Jungkook nodded in agreement. "Exactly, and when volleying, you can use any part of your body to hit the ball, but no catching or holding onto it. And also, no crossing the net into the other team's territory—that's a big no-no." He smiled brightly, happiness shining through.
You wished you were this confident too, yet your skills just wouldn't hold up, but you were ready to try your very best and really just have fun.
Taehyung grinned mischievously. "And if the ball goes out of bounds, it's a point for the other team. Let's keep it in play, guys, and show off those volleyball skills!"
As the packmates listened attentively to the rules, Jungkook clapped his hands. "Alright, now that we're clear on the rules, let's get this game started! May the best team win!"
The proclaimed leaders of each team, for yours Namjoon and for the opposing Jungkook, played rock, paper, scissors once again to determine who would get the first serve.
It ended up being Jungkook's team, and so, as the youngest got ready into the position from which he would start the game, all of you too separated to form a sort of net and hopefully win.
You were at the right side of the pool, just a metre or so from the net, attentively watching the youngest alpha, waiting for him to throw the light ball. To your left was Jimin, behind you was Hobi, and at the very back corner was Namjoon.
Jungkook's throw turned any hopes of your skills not being that bad out of the window, his muscles flexing as the ball flew high up in almost a perfect semicircle, aimed towards the back of the pool where the leader stood, his belly button just in the water.
With a soft gasp leaving you, you watched in almost slow motion how the alpha reached forward, and it truly seemed as if his fingers just barely touched it in time before he let the ball bounce back forward.
Once again over to their side, you watched as Yoongi, who stood just before you let the sphere easily pop back over the net, clearly aimed your way with the soft blow, much less stressed than when the youngest alpha threw it.
„Kitty-!” He breathily called, just to really make sure that Jimin wouldn't reach for it instead. And so, you stood on your tippy toes to touch it sooner and let the ball bounce just over to Yoongi again.
You smiled brightly, happy that you didn't miss the opportunity or mess it up for your team too badly, even when Jungkook's team scored in the end.
The match continued for a while after, yet you struggled to always respond correctly, especially in the pool position at the very back. You messed up a few times, but your teammates were quick to cheer you up, claiming you would get it next time with no problem.
You had fun, to be truthful, but after the opposite team won, though only over 3 points (3!) you let the others continue another game while Hoseok abandoned them to spend time with you.
The alpha smiled at you, his wet and pretty hair brushed back to show his forehead. You giggled when water splashed into his eyes from Jimin, calling, „Don't stare!” while giggling loudly, as you jumped to Hobi's arms, who was rubbing at his eyes, grumbling softly.
No hurt feelings today; even after you slipped into the water from your games with Taehyung, the alpha was quick to hug you soon after hiding your face in his neck.
With your palms resting over his collarbones, the alpha held you close. With your eyes closed and your chin resting next to the connection of his shoulders and neck, the calm, soft waves were nice against your body, allowing you to rest.
„My sunshine...” Your eyes fluttered open at the man's voice, looking up. His eyes were fond as they stayed on your calm form, the tips of your hair wet. Even in what you would believe was an unflattering look you currently had, the alpha before you and all the others around you believed in the exact opposite. You were beautiful.
The alpha smiled even wider, his nose meeting the very top of your head and his scent sticking to you again.
You spend more time in the pool with the alphas, Hobi having you hold onto him as he walked around the pool, the pretty waves nice against your shoulders and arms, eyes closed and truly vulnerable—yet not even for a moment did you feel unsafe.
And when the youngest alphas came around to you to have you be part of their competition to make the biggest splash when jumping, you reluctantly said yet, but only when Hoseok would stay at the corner of the pool, ready to help you the moment you would have any troubles.
True to be told, the rest of the alphas watched very closely whenever you would jump into the water. While the youngest alphas would choose the deepest end for their performance, you stayed at the spot where your tippytoes would still reach the bottom, too afraid otherwise.
You had Jin and Namjoon judge the splash, first just the eldest, but once Jin claimed you jumped the most 'splashy' even when it wasn't necessarily the truth, as you just slipped in the water, barely making a proper splash, your competitions started crying out about Jin being biassed, claiming, „Hyung, you can't say that when I was clearly the winner! The water touched the ceiling too!”
At the whines and your cheeky smiles, Namjoon came over from letting the water spray on his back from the massager head, claiming he would make the judging fair.
Soon after thought, the playful competition turned into smiles and one of love as you and the other three tried to make different letters and shapes in the air while the elders judged, clapping and laughing.
You did your best to make BTS letters, but the B was a bit wonky while Jungkook held your ankle to his tummy with your arms around his shoulders and the man's other hand at your waist.
At your first successful attempt, you and the others bugged Yoongi, who brought his phone to take photos of your jumps, as you held your hands with the others, or when each of the men would have an individual photo with you at the very deep end, jumping with you in their arms.
You had true fun; the entire pack took a bunch of funny photos with the phone, taking videos and time-set photos. And just before you had to leave, Jungkook sat you on his shoulders, and with Taehyung and Jimin on him as your opponents, you played rooster fights the alpha gentle to not be too harsh and throw you completely over much too dangerously in their eyes.
Not much later than that, the second eldest man's phone started ringing again, and an alarm was set so that they would leave on time. With that, the men started all slowly getting out of the water, Jimin being the first to bend down near the edge to hook his arms under your arms, picking you up from the water before you could even try to do so yourself.
Tenderly placing you back onto the tiles around, he said a soft, „Be careful not to slip, princess.” Before you could even step away, the eldest was already there with the fluffy towel he got you, wrapping you up in the comfortable pale purple, the alphas palms gently warming you up as you started to shiver.
Soon you were already leaving, with Yoongi's fingers closely wrapped around you, holding you after he brought your crocs over before. Namjoon ushered all of you out after he slid the doors open, waiting for everyone to leave before he turned the heating back to low-spend mode before the pack alpha followed after you all.
„Here, angel, I'll wrap your hair up, baby cheeks!” Taehyung smiled widely, the cute boxy smile like a cure to any sadness lingering from having to leave already, as the alpha stood behind you in the corridor leading further to the house, gently letting his fingers comb through your hair before he wrapped the towel around the locs, squeezing the water out.
You looked too cold in his eyes, your lips turning too purplish for his liking as your skin felt cold under his sweet touches. And so, the alpha's warmer body wrapped around you in a comfortable hug, his chin going over your temple with cute eyes.
„How about you shower to warm up a little baby? You're too cold; you'll get sick.” He fretted over you, Namjoon, who just walked past, quick to catch on, the back of his hand carressing your cheek, a soft frown taking over his features.
„I'll start the shower for you, pup. Come on.” He said gently, taking your other hand in his, with Taehyung holding the left one. The alphas were quick to lead you upstairs, leaving small droplets of water on the floor. The eldest complained about having to clean later, but he had too much fun to be truly angry.
The second youngest led you to his bedroom, your confused glances shushed with his calming pheromones. He pulled out one of his warm cardigans, a mixture of warm tan, dark green, and red in an argyle pattern.
„Babycheeks, how about this? Or do you want something warmer? This one is super warm and has a nice fabric too. What about it?” The man said, rummaging through the racks of clothing while you watched wrapped in towels.
The alpha pulled out a cream-white sweater with a small black heart with big, pretty eyes. The logo was cute. You smiled wide, noting how well-scented it was, and so you nodded right away, having the man return a wide, boxy smile and hand you the heavy sweater.
„Wait, sweetie, let me check the tags, so it won't be harsh on your skin.” He remembered, softly once again taking it back, looking and reading closely through the tags on the bottom of the torso.
'Comme des Garçons V-Neck Cream Heavy Knit Sweater
luxurious blend of 80% cashmere, 15% silk, and 5% merino wool
high-quality construction
Hand wash gently in cold water; lay flat to dry.
Designed for A/B/O comfort, avoid prolonged O wear to prevent skin irritations.
Elevate your style with Comme des Garçons.'
„Okay, baby cheeks, it should be okay. Do you want help choosing the rest of the outfit too?”
He asked you, a certain longing in his eyes you recognised easily. You always liked the alpha's style, and even if you only saw a few so far, his outfits were always very comfortable-looking, so why not? You thought, letting a small nod leave you, having Tae smile even wider, taking your palm in his, and leading you back to your room.
The door to the bathroom was already open, a warm mist leaving it as you heard the packalpha humming to himself and the shower running. Just then he came out, leaving a soft peck at your forehead, his dimples on display as he told you to warm up soon after you choose what you would like to wear and that you will all leave after you all quickly wash up.
You and Taehyung agreed that you would like to wear something warm and comfortable prioritised, opting for good-looking sweatpants rather than any more structured pants.
In the end, you ended up with bootcut leg solid dark brown wool knitted sweatpants, which were very soft and didn't have any flashy logos, just a small but foreign name of the company at the waistband.
You soon hurried to the warmed-up shower, washing your hair and using nice-smelling shampoo, conditioner, and body wash to get rid of the light chlorine smell. The shower was quick but very comforting as your skin warmed up, cheeks rosing up.
The towels were hanged to dry as you rinsed your swimwear from the chlorine water, placing it over the fluffy towels, which you would have to return to the alpha again.
You pulled on the pants quickly, nice warm socks, and a cute brown turtleneck to match the plushy pants you wore as you shrugged on the very well-scented v-neck, the heavy fabric comforting on your shoulders.
You wished you would have a necklace or two to layer on with the pretty v-neck cut, which would look especially pretty, but it was okay and you weren't too upset, drying your hair as quickly as possible with the hairdryer who blew cold air.
As quick as you could, you left the bathroom again, grabbing your phone from being charged at the bedside table and rushing to not have the others wait any longer.
Jin met you at the bottom of the steps, frowning at how your hair wasn't fully dried yet, opening his mouth to complain, but you hugged him instead, mumbling how you didn't want him to wait any longer. A simple response was received: „We would never mind peaches; alphas will always wait for you.”
As the eldest breathed in your sweet scent, he sneakily brushed his hands against your back, his own scent combining with Taehyung's that you were swimming in.
„Cub here, I just warmed these up in the oven for you; they aren't freshly baked but should still be really good, hm? You like chocolate, right?” The damp-haired alpha asked, slightly worried for a little moment.
He placed the warm chocolate pastries with oozing chocolate before you, the flaky batter golden. They looked delicious, with small wallnut choppings at the very top, sprinkled, and pretty.
You nodded happily, sitting to take a bite just as the eldest placed ice tea before you with a big metal straw, making you smile and thank him softly.
Only halfway through the two big pastries served to you did you hear the packalpha call out for you all to start getting your jackets, having you all leave very quickly, apparently almost late already.
Jin looked worried, turning to you after packing a few packaged snacks into a lunch box, sighing annoyedly. The alpha wished you could have eaten calmly and fully, but their timetables just wouldn't suffice.
The other pack mates rushed back downstairs as you calmed Jin down, saying it was all good and that you didn't mind finishing your food in the car, while the eldest placed the warm breakfast into a paper bag, choosing to grab a smaller carton of packaged ice tea and placing the full glass in the fridge for later.
„Pup, baby, we need to go now.” Namjoon came over, a heavy, long black coat on, the man ready to leave with a beanie on his head.
„Joon, she didn't even finish her breakfast!” Jin gasped, upset. What would it matter, the eldest thought? The photoshoot could wait. The other alpha frowned at that, biting his lip, considering just waiting for you to eat, but you answered instead:
„Let's go, oppa; I can eat later.” You smiled softly, taking your breakfast as you walked over to the racks with coats, choosing a simple black puffer jacket. Jimin, standing next to you, handed it to you.
„Here, princess, let's zip it up for you.” He whispered gently, the closure sounding as the alpha helped you, ending with a cute kiss to the tip of your nose.
You smiled softly when Jimin placed cute fluffy earmuffs on your ears, his eyes creasing as he couldn't contain his excitement. He hugged you close before snapping a quick picture, having you hide your cheeks right after.
The alpha helped you make up the snow boots, which were comfortable and warm on your feet, lacing your fingers with his leading you out of the entrance, walking first to make sure you would know if there was any ice on the cleaned-up path.
It was no longer snowing at the moment, but the temperatures were as icy as ever, having you all hurry to the large van you would all go in. Namjoon, who walked a few steps before you pulled the doors open for you, picked you up by your waist before he placed you on the heightened step, not wanting to have you slip like that one time a while ago.
„Bunbun, sit here! I saved you the best spot, baby.” You followed Jungkook's voice, having you sit down at a seat in the back row in the middle, with your other side shared with Hobi. At your spot was a cute, comfortable blanket that the youngest was quick to wrap you up in, no matter the cranked-up heaters in the car.
His tattooed fingers wrapped around yours, his lips ghosting over your knuckles, his own scent left subtly. With Hobi combing through the slightly damp hair of yours with a soft click of his tongue, you watched as Jin entered the van, Yoongi calling out if everyone had all they needed as the ride wouldn't be too quick.
At first, it was planned for the pack mates to drive to HYBE first to meet up with their staff and have a driver take them to the spot, but in the end, the plans changed as the alphas wished to not have you go with the other staff, who usually travel together in separate vans.
You let Hoseok put on your seatbelt for you as you rested your head against his shoulder comfortably. The smiley man was cute as he rubbed your knee in comfort.
The ride was for at least an hour, the pack on their way to a snow resort for the photoshoot, and so you let Jungkook play a movie for the three of you, having you hold the phone, reasoned by you being in the middle, but he really just wanted you to have the best view.
As the action movie you didn't understand too well played, the noise was subtle enough not to disturb the other alphas, you occasionally watched the passing streets, and the time seemed to slow down with you and the pack.
You ate the still warmed-up pastries comfortably in their company, offering them both a bite or two they happily indulged in.
With a soft peck to the top of your head, Hobi ran his fingers through your hair, his voice soft as he said:
„Sunnybub, thank you, really. For everything.” Jungkook nodded, serious eyes set on your cute form. As you squeezed both their hands closer to yourself, your cheeks warmed up.
For once in your life, things truly felt right.
⋆·˚ ༘ *ੈ✩‧₊˚˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚˚ ✩‧₊˚⋆·˚ ༘ *
Next:
I won't likely post in a while again, please bare with me 😭 I promise I'll come back soon 🩷 take care of yourself. If anyone needs anything lemme know!
🩷❄️🪽
Also, was wondering...
The main plot won't differentiate, but one would be more angsty
Taglist: @thelilbutifulthings @ilovemoneymorethenmen @singukieee @cherrysainttt @felicityroth @mageprincess7 @lucis-noctiana @danielle143 @osakis-gf @girl-nahh @vintageoldfashionstyle-blog @neverthefirstchoice @juju-227592 @silentreadersthings @i-have-no-life-charlie @everyonehatesshani @iamkookiesforyou @dragonsflare @fangirl125reader @roseidol @frieschan @popcatx0 @liz67900 @exfolitae @plexcaffeinate @strawblueberrys @massivelyfullenthusiast @iimichie
Hi everyone,
How is everyone doing? I hope all is going well for you, the world is treating you kindly and your summer break is nice enough :))
I hope I can get back to writing soon enough as I would like to finish Snow Angel. Currently I'm busy at art school making porcelain pottery and what not.
Please take care! I love you :) 🩷❄️🪽
Ps. Jin is back!! I'm very glad he is healthy and well 🩷🩷
![Little Leopard [5]](https://64.media.tumblr.com/d17cec1bc5d0e21eabba11614ef2d3f7/07402c603453089e-41/s500x750/ab3cb4c3bcee0707388b6089abbe01553482921f.jpg)
Little Leopard [5]
"If it weren't for seven men that fateful night you wouldn't be here now. They showed you good people did exist. That life can be great, that you can be loved and cared for. These seven men were the men you loved and cherished. These men were your mates. Your safety blanket. And to them. You were their Little Leopard."
Header Credit: Me
Pairing: OT7 X Hybrid!Reader
Genre: Hybrid! AU, Strangers to Lovers! AU, Rich!BTS, Fluff, Angst, eventual smut, Polyamorous!BTS
Warnings: Angst, Hospitals, discussions of weight, discussions of eating disorders, dissociation, mentions of past mental abuse, mentions of past physical abuse, mentions of sexual abuse, discussions of trauma, anxiety, depression, explicit language, OC gets a little possessive, self-doubt, NOT SAFE FOR RAMADAN.
Word Count: 4K
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![Little Leopard [5]](https://64.media.tumblr.com/ad90252a1cd50edab991348f83bf9a15/07402c603453089e-05/s500x750/19b4755a2caaa4a2b5582e2cd9bc60302e23f9da.png)
Like Seokjin had said the next day after breakfast, he was taking you to the clinic, and to be honest, you were nervous. You hadn’t been to a hybrid clinic and you didn’t know what to expect. You knew that Seokjin wouldn’t do anything to make you uncomfortable and that he’d never hurt you. You had to keep reminding yourself that this was for your own good, he just wanted to know if you were fit and healthy.
Whilst eating breakfast, Yoongi and Hoseok had told you they were going to tag along so you wouldn’t feel so uncomfortable in a new and nerve-wracking environment and so you could have a hand to hold if need be. It made you feel warm inside knowing that they really did care about you. Your thoughts, feelings, your physical being. Everything. It all mattered to them and they always made sure you knew that.
You knew that Jungkook had told them about your talk last night, they didn’t have to tell you that they knew, you could tell by the way their scents had changed when they saw you come down the stairs this morning. Their usual soft, comforting scents changed to a dull burning bitter smell, the gentle looks of care and worry. But what you appreciated the most was how they didn’t bring it up, they didn’t make you talk about it. They were really allowing you to do things on your own terms. You will never be able to tell them how grateful you are. They were always there to abolish all your negative thoughts and feelings. They’re like umbrellas, when you’re toxic thoughts rain upon you, they shelter you from them and wait with you for the sun to break through the rain clouds not ever leaving you for a second.
“You ready to go, Sweetpea? Yoongi and Jin are waiting for us.” Hoseok says softly peering into your room after he knocked, chuckling seeing you sat cross-legged in the middle of the bed, your pastel yellow dress sprawled around you like you had come out of a Disney movie, a little pout on your lips as you look up at Hoseok with a look of defeat and hold out your brush and a scrunchie.
“I can’t do my hair, w-will you help me Hobi? I keep catching my ears and it hurts.” You whine out in exasperation. It was clear to him you had been trying to do it for a while but was clearly being defeated. He couldn’t say no to you. You had him and the rest of the boys wrapped around your finger and you had absolutely no idea.
“Of course, Sweetpea, you gotta be careful of these cute little ears.” Hoseok coos, taking the brush and scrunchie from you and sitting behind you, beginning to brush your hair, frowning at how tense and anxious you were not just from how you sat but from how your tail nervously flicked, poking his leg occasionally. Something was playing on your mind and Hoseok wanted to help you. Out of all the boys, he had spent the least time with you having to constantly be at work all the time.
“Penny for your thoughts, Sunshine?” He asks tenderly beginning to fishtail braid your hair, pausing as you sigh and grab your tail to play with it, something all hybrids did for comfort and it was nice for the boys to see you beginning to lean more into your natural instincts. They had noticed in the first two weeks you lived with them you barely did anything…Leopard like? Feline like?
It was like you had buried any instinct you had as a leopard. They had begun to think you had been forced to not act on them or perhaps you just didn’t have any but as you began to relax around them the more you showed your feline side and in all honesty, it was the most wholesome thing they had seen. They were curious to see if you would eventually be comfortable in front of them to shift into your full Leopard form. If that was something you could do.
“I just…I’ve never been to a hybrid clinic before…let alone had a health check, no one cared about it. I’m scared. What if something is wrong with me? I w-won’t be left there right o-or you won’t be disgusted with me at my results?” You fret, biting your lip anxiously as Hoseok ties the hair tie into your hair a little sigh leaves his lips before turning you to face him and shaking his head.
“Sweetpea, we will never ever leave you there, or anywhere for that matter. You’re stuck with us, how terrible right?” He jokes making your lips quirk up a little and playfully roll your eyes before relaxing into his touch as he massages at the base of your ear, a rumble coming from your chest.
“None of us will be disgusted at all okay? Whatever the results will be for your health, we’re all gonna be here to do what we can to help it improve if needs be and be here for you through everything alright? I know it sounds scary. A hybrid clinic and tests but you are in completely safe hands. Seokjin won’t make you do anything you don’t want to alright? I hate the doctors too. Needles are pretty terrifying. I used to pass out every time I needed a flu vaccination. Ironic isn’t it? I see all sorts of things being a detective yet the one thing that scares me isn’t weapons, blood, or bodies but a damn needle but in the end, I know it’s to help me. This is to help you.” He smiles, his heart fluttering hearing the laugh you let out hearing his fear of needles. You appreciated his efforts to calm your nerves.
“Okay, thank you, Hoseokie. You guys won’t leave my side?”
“Wouldn’t dream of it, Sunshine.”
—
Despite Hoseok’s reassurance, you couldn’t help but let your fear grow the closer you got to the clinic. You were terrified at what could be revealed. You knew that none of the outcomes of the appointment will be good. You dread to hear the results because you knew what they were going to say. ‘You’re broken’.
Time was moving too quickly. You blinked you were in the car, you blinked and you were on the highway, you blinked and you were in the city. Before you knew it you stood right in front of the clinic, staring blankly at the sign. Your hands had gotten clammy. Your heart was palpitating. Your mouth going dry. You absolutely did not want to be here. You were petrified. But you just didn’t know how to say no. It was a foreign word to you. A word that was not allowed in your dictionary. A word that if you used would result in punishment. It was another habit you couldn’t break. You couldn’t say no to them. You couldn’t tell them you weren’t ready for this. That this was just too invasive right now.
Yoongi had picked up on your anxiety almost immediately. Noticing how tense and rigid you had gotten. How you froze in your spot like you had your feet glued to the floor. The distant look in your eyes. He knew right there you weren’t really there. You had disconnected from yourself and the world around you. Your defense mechanism. Your fight or flight.
“Y/N? Little Cub you still with us?” Yoongi questions delicately, slipping his hand into yours and squeezing to try and bring you back to reality. Nothing. You didn’t move. You didn’t speak. You hadn’t heard him. He began to grow concerned looking at Jin and Hobi for help. He didn’t know what to do but he did know he wasn’t going to pull you into the clinic in this state. He wasn’t going to make this worse for you.
“She’s dissociated Yoongi. We have to ground her, and take her attention off the cause. Give her your keys. They’re cold and something she can fidget with. Cold things bring them out of this state.” Seokjin states, gently stroking your hair as Hobi tries to blow air onto the back of your neck to break your dissociation. Yoongi roots through his pocket before pulling his keys out and placing them in your hand, watching as the distant look begins to slowly disappear.
Seokjin felt guilty. He should have asked you first, he should have made sure you were comfortable with coming to the clinic. He felt like an idiot. He knew you had trauma yet completely forgot to ensure this wasn’t crossing the line for you.
“Sunshine? Are you back with us? We’re right here. It’s okay, take your time. We’re right here.” Hoseok murmurs watching as you blink and look around, breath slightly heavy, a pink hue appearing on your cheeks as you realize what had happened.
“I-I’m sorry, I-I haven’t done that in a while.” You whisper shyly, fiddling with the keys in your hand. You felt so embarrassed and humiliated. You were waiting to hear a laugh, a snicker, anything but nothing. Yoongi just tilts his head and frowns.
“Why are you sorry? It’s not your fault. It happens. This must be overwhelming for you. If this is too much for you, you do not have to go in there. We can take you home and you can try again another day when you feel ready.” He sighs, the two men next to you nodding in agreement but you huff and shake your head, straightening yourself back up.
“No. I-I’ll be okay. I have to do this. We’re here now right? If not now when?” You say before looking at Hoseok and giving him a small smile.
“This is to help me. As long as you don’t leave my side.” You utter. Hoseok smiles and nods, placing his hand on your shoulder.
“Like I said, Sweetpea. We wouldn’t dream of it.”
And with that, you forced your body to enter the clinic, a vice grip on Yoongi’s hand, his grip just as tight. A reassurance. He was going nowhere.
The smells that hit your nose the moment you stepped into the clinic were terrible. They were so pungent. Rancid, you almost felt nauseous. Illnesses. Chemicals. Sadness. And the worst of all. Death.
It was so distinctive you couldn’t ignore it even if you tried. It was such a strong horrific scent, it could stick to a person for weeks if it weren’t for scent blockers. Something you’re glad Seokjin had you all take before you left the house.
It was so putrid. It was a mix of rotting fruits and meat but at the same time, it was chemical-like. Like nail polish remover or ammonia. You had to hold back a gag. If Seokjin was a hybrid you would have asked him how he could put up with it all the time, hours on end.
“You okay Cub?” Yoongi asks as you both follow Seokjin to an examination room, almost chuckling at the scrunched-up look of disgust on your face. He would have laughed but he knew what you were smelling. He had been told about it by a Hybrid friend of his. He felt bad that your heightened sense of smell could be a curse sometimes.
“It smells bad. I really don’t want to sound rude I know people here are sick or you know but it’s so horrid. I could really do with no sense of smell right now. It’s a little nauseating.” You grimace. Hoseok chuckles and nods in agreement,
“I know what you’re on about. I can’t smell it like you can right now but I’ve been around enough bodies to know what kind of smell you’re getting. It’s grim.”
Your conversation is cut off as you enter a room and you tense up seeing a new person. You hadn’t expected to have to interact with anyone else. You thought it would just be Jin doing your tests. It did not help this doctor was not human. She was a hybrid too. Another cat species. Putting two big cats in one room, a lioness, and leopardess at that. It was a bold move.
“Seokjin! Good to see you! I was surprised when you contacted me to health check when you can do it yourself and probably better than me at that! Yoongi, Hoseok it’s been a while.” She grins giving Seokjin a hug then Yoongi and Hoseok. You stare at her almost in annoyance, holding back a growl but an instinct you couldn’t prevent was your hackles going up. Your tail began to bush up and your ears pinned back. You felt irritated by her presence. By her touching them.
But as quick as it happened it was quick to disappear when you realize how you reacted. You were surprised. Why did you react like that? It wasn’t like they belonged to you. They weren’t your mates. You stop an audible gasp. They couldn’t be, right? But the longer you thought about it the more you realize some of the behaviors you had around them. All seven of them. The way you had to fight the urge to scent them, to nip at where their scent glands would be if they were hybrids. The way you wanted to build a big nest and drag every single one of them into it. At first, you just thought it was because they looked after you. Cared about you, but now it felt like a jigsaw puzzle was being completed. It all made sense now. They were your mates.
Your racing thoughts were broken when Jin chuckles and gives her a sheepish smile. “I would do the tests but for legal reasons, I cannot. She lives with us. It’d be workplace misconduct. This is Y/N, she’s been living with us for a few weeks now.”
“Nice to meet you Y/N I’m Dr.Yoon. I’m going to be doing your examination okay? Don’t worry it won’t take long.” She says, grabbing her clipboard as you nod hesitantly, your voice felt stuck in your throat. You couldn’t bring yourself to speak. You just followed her instructions with much hesitance. She took your weight, your height, and asked your age and other questions but her next requests made your heart drop.
“Okay, we have to take a blood sample and have a look at your cervix etcetera.”
You turn to look at the boys in fear and Yoongi immediately grabs your hand again and shakes his head. He can’t imagine how much trauma this was bringing back.
“Look at me, look at us. We’re right here Y/N. Right here. It’s okay. It’ll be all over before you know it I promise and then we can go home. You’re safe.” He says sternly as she begins to take your blood sample, keeping you facing him to stop you from looking. Even looking straight in your eyes as she examined your cervix and pelvis, his eyes not straying once, rubbing soothing circles on your hand as Hoseok murmured reassurances and Jin keeps back not wanting to crowd you, and the guilt he felt stopped him from coming near.
He should have made you aware that this appointment was your choice. That you didn’t have to come here today. He could see you slipping into depression, how you would slightly dissociate before stopping yourself, how you hadn’t uttered a word since entering the room. He shouldn’t have assumed you were okay with this.
“Okay we’re all done here Y/N, your blood results should be back in the next week or so. You can take a minute before leaving. Dr. Kim, Hoseok. Can we step outside? We should talk.” She says lips pursed, nodding her head towards the door. She noticed how you progressively became more of an empty shell. She didn’t want to make you worse with what she had to say.
“Gentlemen. I don’t even know where to begin. This girl has suffered so much. More than I think you guys thought. Her weight is dangerously low for her age and height. Malnourished. She’s way too small, especially for an Amur Leopard. How is her appetite now she lives with you?” She begins a solemn look on her face as Hoseok and Seokjin look at each other before looking back at her.
“Not great now that you mention it. A few mouthfuls that’s it.” Seokjin sighs, crossing his arms as she nods and shakes her head. It wasn’t a good sign. Not at all.
“She may have developed an eating disorder, you have to keep a close eye on that. It may be from a diet change or from a change in general but if it doesn’t get better then definitely take formal action. She will get sick. There are many signs of physical and mental abuse. The girl is traumatized. Physically and mentally. Seeing a psychiatrist could really benefit her. I watched each of her reactions, she was terrified, especially when I said I need to take a blood sample and do a vaginal examination. I could smell her terror. When checking her cervix I could see evidence of past sexual assault. Scarring, slight irritation you name it but other than that healthy. I saw nothing that will prevent a heat other than her weight but we will have to wait for the bloods to come back to know for certain. She may not get one for a while. I’ll let you know when I have the results for her bloods but help her, get her through this, and most importantly, Hoseok, find the sons of bitches that did this to her.”
“I plan on it.”
—
Once you got home you were quickly swept up by the youngest two boys who had gotten home having been warned by Seokjin that you weren’t very verbal or doing great mentally. They were at the ready to cheer you up and look after you even going as far as reading what could help a distressed hybrid and discovering a nest could provide comfort, watching tutorials, and rushing to find things to put in it. It wasn’t the best-built nest but it was the thought that counts.
When you were placed in the nest you visibly relaxed, you already felt comforted, safe, and cozy but it felt like something was missing and from your realization earlier you knew what it was. The boys. Your leopard was antsy, practically screaming at you ‘Mates, mates, need mates in nest.’ You didn’t feel ready to fully embrace it yet. It was too much to comprehend. That you had mates. Not just one, but seven. It was daunting. But right now, you were willing to indulge your leopard. Just this once. But how wrong you were. Once they were to enter the nest, you may just get into the habit of wanting them in it constantly. Yeah, you were screwed.
“In. Want in.” You murmur beginning to move around and fix the nest, making it bigger to fit more people in, a pout of concentration on your face. Jungkook and Taehyung’s hearts skip a beat. You look so adorable fixing it and demanding them to get in. They felt a feeling of achievement getting to see you make your first nest, watching you cave to your instincts. But their hearts were pounding. They knew how intimate being invited into a nest was. They knew what it meant after all the videos they watched on nests, giving each other a look. They all needed to talk but right now, they couldn’t deny you. You had them wrapped around your finger.
“You’re inviting us in, Sweet Girl?” Jungkook asks softly, cooing as you look up at him with wide innocent eyes and nod. You were going to be the death of him. With slight hesitation they both climb in and sandwich you between them, allowing you to move them to where you wanted them before you finally snuggle into them, Jungkook chest to chest, your head tucked into the crook of his neck as Taehyung spoons you, rubbing soothingly up your waist, a smile playing at his lips as you begin to purr. You really were beginning to live up to your leopard counterpart now.
“We heard you aren’t doing too good huh Kitten?” Taehyung coos. You huff and shake your head, lifting your head to look at him and pout before looking at Jungkook and whispering,
“Scent? Y/N scent you?”
He almost chokes on his saliva but nods slowly, eyes widening when you don’t hesitate to nuzzle back into his neck and begin to rub your nose on his neck and nip occasionally, shallow breaths leaving his mouth, frozen in shock before glaring at the amused look on Taehyung’s face.
‘Stop it. You’d freak out too.’ Jungkook mouths reaching over and flicking Taehyung on the forehead. However, the sudden movement made you whine in protest and he immediately goes back into the position he was in and pouts.
“I’m sorry baby, didn’t mean to upset you, I won’t move again without telling you okay?” He says softly chuckling as you hum in acknowledgment before sighing in contentment, losing your eyes to try and get rid of the thoughts in your head. Despite it only being noon, you were exhausted. The appointment and examination had sucked the life out of you and brought back so many memories and doubts you were trying so hard to bury and forget.
You didn’t feel worthy enough of their affection and care. You felt like you didn’t deserve them. That you weren’t good enough. It felt like you were being selfish and asking for too much to have them in your nest. A whimper leaves your lips, gripping Jungkooks’ t-shirt tight to rid yourself of the thoughts, trying to concentrate on his and Taehyungs’ scents in hopes to ground yourself, squeezing your eyes shut tight as the horrifying voice echoes in your head.
‘You are worthless piece of shit!’
‘You deserve nothing bitch!’
‘What a waste of space and air, why do I even bother keeping you.’
All the abusive words echo through your head on a constant repeat, flashes of the punishments and vile acts you were put through won’t leave, a strangled cry leaving your mouth from frustration and hurt making the boys fuss over you, panicked. You just wanted it to stop. For all the anguish and pain to be erased, to just be happy. Really truthfully happily. There was only so much forcing it you could take.
“Make it stop. TaeTae, Koo, please make it stop. It hurts. Hurts.”
Safe. Safe. I’m safe. You repeat in your head trying to convince yourself, relaxing into their caring touches, finally succumbing to the sleep you were so desperately fighting, the appointment, the crying, the thoughts completely exhausting you.
“Shh Kitten, we’ve got you. You’re gonna be okay, we’re gonna get you through this, you’re safe, nothing can hurt you anymore, this will go, I promise, you’re safe, you’re safe here. Sleep, you need some sleep, we’re not going anywhere.” Taehyung says so delicately afraid that your fragile state would break from the slightest change of tone. He felt like a fool.
For not realizing how much you were really struggling. At how much you were really hiding. How much you had internalized it to hide it from them. He was a fool to that you were going to heal quickly. All the care, safety and love they gave you could only do so much. You had suffered for years. You have had more anguish, pain, abuse than anything. He promised to do better. Too do everything in his power to heal you. Supporting you.
When the boys know you’re asleep they look at each other sadly, wondering what they should do to make this torturous recovery easier for you, wondering what they do knowing what they know now about being invited into a nest but a voice from the door breaks their stares.
“Is she oka- Oh shit.”
Taglist (CLOSED)
@sunoosult @pb-n-juju @kimsaerom @tinyoonsblog @mintyoonjisworld @malewife-supremacy @army4eve3r @mageprincess7 @dreamamubarak @ot7nem @haleypearce @yoongiigolden @driftapart @carolinexkpop @koobratzy @devilsadvcte @colourlyhobbit @toughbook @ah2002 @beeeee06 @bbgniecyy @kurowvie @jaiuneamesolitaiire @rich-man-v @bangtanxberm @murkydoesnotloveyou @cheychey-4788 @atinygracie @echo-ethe @yo-alli @blancflms @jamlessstars @theblueslytherin @rosquilleta @slash4slashers @chieftoadturkeynickel @rainbow-bunny-bts @thedarkwinterrose @anjoellamorte @welcometomyworld13 @sugarrush-blush @aviewerofthecosmos @danielle143 @singukieee @ayoo-bangtan @sinceritythatcouldntbedelivered @popcatx0 @foreverweareyoung7 @josefines-things @avadakadabra93 @shmaptainbonky
Ew! Dog Drool!// Hybrid! Namjoon Drabble
♡ Pregnancy Au, Hybrid Au, and Omegaverse Au ♡
“Namjoooon.”
Silence.
“Joonbug.”
Followed by silence. You exhaled sharply. “I know you were a guard dog, but this is a little much.” You're giggling creased after earning an over-the-shoulder glare from your husband.
He growled softly, returning his attention to his nonexistent ‘Post.’
You gasped. “Did you get growl at me? Kim. Nam. Joon” You often found it amusing when Namjoon’s alpha genes really kicks into overdrive.
At least he has a good reason; Not only are you his pride and joy but now, with a bun in the oven. He doesn't even want you out of the bedroom- as a matter of fact, The only way you get to bathe in the sunshine again is because you threw a hissy fit at the alpha.
To which he still is pissed off.
Fine by you; Namjoon is extremely attractive when heated, like right now. His large♡ back faced you as he watched our surroundings while thicc♡ arms tightly folded against his big muscular pecs ♡.
He's nowhere near you, but He had you seeing stars. He might have felt your stare or had his suspensions; Namjoon looked back at you for a split second.
“Namjoon.”
Silence.
“Joonie.”
Followed by more sil-
Thump...Thump.
His tail wagged at your sweet voice, erect, ready to do anything you asked without hesitation..unlike the rest of him.
“Aw, my joonie.” You teased, observing his tail go off the rails at your baby voice. “Do you want some treats? Mmm, yummy moon cakes.” At this point, You are just talking to his tail.
Namjoon’s growls grew more assertive as the blush on his face darkened. “ Grrrr! I'm busy trying to protect you, and you think everything is a joke.”
“We have a fence. Who's jumping over a big wall like this? You're just being possessive!”
“No! I'm being cautious! Unlike you, who doesn't give a fuck about your safety or our pup!.” His blasting, deep voice dominated yours.
To think this day started so well too. “Just because I'm not sitting outside!! Doesn't label me a bad mother, You mutt!”
The giant sour Hybrid towered over your tiny settled figure in comparison, unphased by his alpha musk wafting off him.
“What did you just call me?” Two large hands caged you in your seat, lowering his face to your eye level. Never mind the fact; You can see down his loose-fitting sleeveless shirt. You're getting a full eye of what's underneath his shirt—not complaining, of course.
You took a spot of tea. “All you do all day is bark with no bite sight.” You nonchalantly attempted to push Namjoon’s enormous body to the side. “You're blocking my sunlight, Pooch.”
One would think Namjoon’s jaw would snap over how firmly he's clenching it. He snatched your wrist up on your second attempt to make him move. He can't spank you at the moment, nor can he be as rough as he would like with you again.
Having no choice, Namjoon presses his soft lips against your knuckles- “Aw, how sweet-!?” You gasped at Namjoon’s wet muscle lapping up your skin in one long stroke. “Ew!!! Namjoon!?”
He deeply chuckled. “Tasty.”
💜💜💜
Part 1
My head feels heavy and my tongue feels like sandpaper. I try opening my eyes but my eyelids feel like leads. I’m laying on something soft, a bed most probably. I try to move and only manage to squirm a little, feeling the fabric beneath me to ascertain that it is not a bed but a sofa instead. A leather one, judging by the creaking sounds it makes with every move. Slowly, I can finally open my eyes but my vision is blurry and the room is dark. I blink a few times, trying to get my bearings when I sense that I’m not alone.
As my vision adjusts to the dimness, I notice a figure just below me on the floor, breathing lightly. No, not one, but two of them, laid out on opposite ends. A movement to my left makes me turn to find the figure of a man draped across the other end of the sofa, coming awake. Another man has his head on that one’s lap. A chair scrapes back somewhere to my right and I see three more just waking up, all sitting at a table. Or sleeping on it. As realisation kicks in, I recognise these seven men: BTS.
When everybody is awake fifteen minutes later, we look around the room at each other, the same question lingering in our minds: what the fuck happened? Our cellphones aren’t on us, not even our wallets.
“Where are we?” I ask, looking around the room from the sofa.
Namjoon gets up from the floor and walks towards the window. All I can see from my spot are tall trees and darkness outside so it must be nighttime. Yoongi gets up too and makes a beeline to the door that looks to be the front door and tries the knob but it doesn’t budge. Namjoon, upon seeing that, tries to slide up the window, but to the same result. And then everyone is on their feet, moving around the house trying to open doors, windows, anything that leads to the outside. Nothing.
“We’re locked in,” Jin says, his brows furrow.
Just then, thunderous footsteps come down the stairs and Jimin, Jungkook and Taehyung, who had gone upstairs to check on doors and windows, appear, the same exasperated looks on their faces. They shake their heads. A loud bang make us all turn our heads to Namjoon, surprise to see him holding a chair as he had tried to break the window but failed instead. “What the fuck,” he breathes.
“Is this a prank?” Hoseok asks, running a hand through his hair. “Some sort of game? Run BTS?”
“I doubt it,” replies Yoongi who is standing in front of another window, looking out with a scowl on his face. “I think we’ve been kidnapped.”
Jin laughs. “Right. Someone kidnapped seven men together. Someone passed our security and brought us all here to a house in the middle of nowhere and locked us in.”
I hug my knees then, trying to process the situation while making myself as small as possible. I’m trying to think back to what happened before waking up here but my memory is a blank: al I remember is being in that meeting room with the boys, talking about the short story I wrote that Hybe was planning to make into a short movie. But there had been other people in the room; managers, producers, writers, other staff and bodyguards at every entrance point. I remember that last detail very well as they would eye me suspiciously everytime I walked past them as if the tag around my neck wasn’t good enough. And then what? What happened afterwards? Why am I here with them? Was it a mistake, a hitch in the plan of whoever it is that took us that forced them to take me too?
Jimin approaches me silently. He puts a hand on my shoulder. “Are you okay?”
I look at him, unsure of how to answer. Physically, yes I am. Psychologically? Emotionally? Instead, I just keep looking at him and he gives a light squeeze as if he understood what hadn’t been said. I fidget with my fingers and that is when I notice the tiny marking on the inside of my left wrist. I bring it up to my face to inspect it. It looks like one of those Latin symbols you see in a science class and, if I remember correctly, the one etched, no, tattooed on my skin is that of an omega symbol: Ω
I hate tattoos and would have never thought of getting one.
“What is this?” Taehyung asks from the foot of the staircase. He is also looking at his wrist, a deep frown on his face. Namjoon strides over to him to see. His forehead bunches together before answering, “Looks like a lowercase beta symbol?”
One by one they all check their wrists. Namjoon, Hoseok, Jimin and Jungkook have the lowercase alpha symbol and Jin and Yoongi match Taehyung’s beta one. I’m the odd one out. Does that mean something? And what do the markings even mean, to begin with?
As if on cue, a deep voice resounds all over the house through invisible speakers. “Welcome to the Omegaverse House. I hope everyone is comfortable. I’m sure you have found the markings on your wrists. That will determine your hiercharchy in this little world I built just for you.”
“Who are you? What do you want from us?” Namjoon shouts as he looks around the room.
The voice chuckles. “You can call me Master. What I want is to see if this little experiment of mine works, is all. You’re my little test subjects. If this is a success, we will have all of you to thank for the new worldshift that will happen. I must say, I nabbed the perfect subjects, too. With the amount of eyes on you popstars, my experiment, once successful, will be hard to ignore.”
“They’ll find us before that even happens!” Taehyung screams, standing up.
“You can keep wishing on that,” the voice replies, humour in his voice. “They’re going to have a hard time finding you. Do you know how long you’ve been missing as of now? A week and seventeen hours.” The voice breaks into a laugh, chilling me to the bone. “A week and no leads. I’m very careful with my work. Just as you are meticulous in yours. Now, all you have to do is just be good and stay here for as long as the experiment requires you to be. Groceries will be delivered twice weekly. There will be instructions delivered every other day and if you are good boys and girl, you’ll find it will be a lot easier. Take this as a retreat, a holiday, a break from your demanding schedules. Go against my orders and instructions, you’ll learn the price you have to pay. I’m sure you are all very smart people. We’ll speak again soon.”
Then there is silence. No matter how much the boys ask questions, they get nothing in return. The sound of something travelling through a chute catches our attention and a paper sticks out from a small metal pipe by the bookcases behind me. Hesitantly, I pluck it out, unfold it and read the content.
Take your temperatures twice a day - once when you wake up, once before you go to sleep - and mark them down and labelled properly on a paper. Send that paper the same way this one comes in every night. Failure to do so will be punished. Attempts at messing with the data will also be punished.
The boys then start to talk over each other, voicing their worries, anger and disbelief, their thoughts of what is actually happening and ideas of how to get out of here. I keep quiet, never moving from my spot that I had woken up in. To be honest, I am tired and hungry. Starving, really. I don’t want to think about anything right now except for food or sleep, whichever comes first. The voice, Master, or whatever, mentioned groceries so that means there is food somewhere. Starving us to death isn’t the goal, obviously. Silently, I get up and make my way to what I think must be the kitchen, subconsciously marveling at how big the house is. I approach the fridge, stopping short at the reflection in the sleek black surface of the door.
I look like a ghost, literally. Pale face and hair sticking out in odd places. Instead of the grey slacks and light blue blouse I had worn the day of the meeting, I have on dark sweatpants and an oversized white t-shirt that did nothing to hide my breasts underneath. Behind me, I see Jimin walk in through the reflection and I reflexively cross my arm over my chest, completely forgetting what I was in the kitchen for in the first place. The others pile in behind him. I turn around, shuffling on my bare feet, my mind blank except for the hunger that is starting to ache.
“I’m hungry,” I mutter, eyes on the huge island in the middle of the kitchen.
The boys look around momentarily and I hear Jungkook say from across the island, “Me too. I’m starving.” The others then start to murmur their agreement.
Yoongi marches past me and opens the fridge door, peering inside. He took out a basket of eggs. He then opens the overhead cabinet and takes down two bundles of instant noodles with five packs in each, ten packs in total. Jin starts to be proactive, too, rummaging through the low cabinet and producing a large pot. He fills it with water and puts it on the electric stove. As we wait for the water to boil, we sit around the kitchen island in mutual silence, too hungry or tired to speak. Yoongi takes care of the ramyeon and as the savory smell of it wafts through the room, loud grumbles come from each and every stomach. Jin takes out bowls and chopsticks as Yoongi moves the pot onto the ceramic top. Jungkook jumps up immediately and starts ladling noodles and soups into each bowl before handing them out. We eat like a hungry pack of wolves and in less than five minutes, the pot is empty again to much of our dismay.
“The rice is cooking,” says Yoongi as if he reads our mind. “I’ll make kimchi fried rice once it’s cooked.” No one objects. Jungkook gets up and goes to the freezer part of the fridge. He finds a pack of diced beef and unpacks it in the sink. I notice how they are not frozen yet, which means they had only just been placed in there. Realising he didn’t need to thaw it, he leaves the meat there and goes back to sit down.
“What is the last thing you remember?” Namjoon speaks up, looking around the room. No one speaks at first as we all think hard and long. Then one by one we give our answers and they are all the same: the short story/movie meeting. Yoongi recalls being in a car but that is the extent of it. I look around the room. I’m a complete stranger to them, why was I roped in? I'm nobody compared to these seven world stars, so what do they want with me? What purpose do I serve? My family won’t be able to even afford a ransom money if that was demanded.
“What’s Omegaverse?” Hoseok asks.
“I’m not sure,” answers Namjoon, “but it sounds familiar.”
“Like the fanfic,” Jin chuckles as if trying to lighten the mood.
Quiet falls again.
Something clicks with what Jin said and I run a finger over the omega symbol on my wrist. Is it true? But how can it be when it’s just fiction; a niche in the smut universe that every fanfic reader is very well-aware of. A fiction that revolves around how human biology has evolved - or devolved depending on how you look at it - into something like that of a wolf or a pack animal. A world where there’s no gender but only alphas and betas and omegas, a hierarchy made to make mating all that much easier and clear cut. But what if it is true? What if that was the experiment that the voice over the speaker had meant? I have a sinking feeling deep in my stomach and for a moment, the smell of the meat sizzling in the pan as Yoongi starts to cook again makes me feel like throwing up. I scramble to my feet and barely make it to the sink before hurling back out the noodles I had not ten minutes ago. Yoongi disregards the pan and rushes to my side, holding my hair back with one hand and rubbing my back with the other as Jin takes over the cooking.
I wipe my mouth with the back of my hand as Yoongi turns the tap on to wash off the content of the sink. As he is reaching out, I get a whiff of a faint sweet scent coming from him. It smells a little like chocolate and I can feel myself relaxing, leaning against Yoongi’s body. He pulls me in, and, almost instinctively, I nuzzle against his chest. Catching myself, I pull away immediately and Yoongi must have felt it too, as he shuffles away slightly to create space between us, leaving us both a little perplexed at what just happened. Then it dawns on me.
“The experiment,” I say through ragged breaths and a stinging throat from all the bile, “I think he was speaking the truth. He’s not experimenting with us, he’s experimenting on us. We are the experiment.”
Yoongi helps me back to my seat and Jimin offers a glass of water. I take one gulp, feeling a little refreshed and more focused now. Namjoon shakes his head. “I wouldn’t trust him, whoever he is. He’s probably just trying to scare us and he’s got you good.”
I open my mouth to object but Yoongi beats me to it. “As much as I want to agree with you, Joonie, I think she’s right. Something’s...off.”
They stare at him, even Jin stops stirring the rice to look at Yoongi. Namjoon tilts his head a little. “Did you just call me Joonie?”
Yoongi doesn’t answer immediately, probably didn’t even notice what he said. Hoseok gives a nervous laugh. “Something’s off, alright. You’ve never used that nickname before, hyung.”
Yoongi shrugs and brings his chair to sit down next to me. Jin finishes cooking and serves the second round of food to everyone with Jungkook’s help again. This time, the food disappears at a much slower pace as everyone mulls over their own thoughts. Jin was the first to speak. “So, if you’re right,” he looks pointedly at me, “you’re saying that since we are the experiment and we are in this omegaverse, this means that whatever this omegaverse is, will happen to us?”
“Maybe,” I answer as I toy with my food.
“Hold on a second,” says Hoseok, placing both his hands palms down on the surface of the island. “What is omegaverse?”
“It’s fiction, I said so,” Jin replies through a mouthful of rice.
Yoongi sighs. “It’s fiction, yes. It’s technically a genre where there’s no gender but just alphas and betas and omegas.”
Hoseok looks even more confused. “Alphas and betas and omegas?”
“Like the symbols on our wrists?” asks Taehyung as he rubs on his marking to no avail.
“Yeah,” said Yoongi. “Alphas, betas and omegas are the hierarchy system.”
“For what?” Jimin’s turn to ask.
Yoongi and Jin exchange glances but I answer for them. “For mating purposes. Like wolf packs. The omegas are the lowest in the rank, the one that’s...mated.”
Jin clears his throat. “In the omegaverse, an alpha is the top rank. They’re the only ones that can mate by putting their marks on their partners. This mark is for life. Alphas are also the only ones that breed and omegas, the breeders.”
“And betas?” Taehyung asks, looking from Jin to Yoongi then back again.
Yoongi answers this time. “Betas are somewhere in the middle. We don’t mate and are rarely able to breed, too. I guess betas are more flexible, going in between alphas and omegas. But I’ve read somewhere that betas are mostly more in control due to their level-headed nature and mild temperaments. They are the least affected by pheromones when an omega is in heat near them.”
“When an omega is in what?” Namjoon’s eyebrows are raised so high they disappear behind his blond bangs.
“In heat,” Yoongi reiterates. “Like cats when it’s mating season, you get the gist.” He passes a hand over his face, sighing as he did so. “This is starting to sound ridiculous, even to me.”
Namjoon stands up. “Right. We’re all exhausted. We should think about this more tomorrow. Right now we need sleep. Maybe it’ll help us process things better.”
Taehyung and Jimin offer to help clean up the kitchen while the rest of us trudge upstairs. On the second floor, we learn that the house has a total of three storeys with four rooms each with its own bathroom on the second and third floor. I claim the first room I see; on the second floor, the first door on the left. I close the door behind me and make my way inside. There’s a desk by the window with a thermometer and a journal and pen sitting neatly on top of it. What happens if I don’t do as instructed? I look around the room, trying to find a camera of some sort but nothing. Is he watching us all right now? How? From where?
Ignoring the items on the desk, I crawl into bed. Five minutes later I feel a sharp, electric jolt coursing through my body, making me arch my back in pain. I grit my teeth, willing for it to stop as tears spill from the corners of my eyes. It feels like an eternity when it finally did and I lay there panting, trying to catch my breath. The same voice from earlier booms throughout the house. “If you’re testing the legitimacy of my instructions, well, you got it. Trust me, that was just a taste. Continue to disobey and you won’t make it past another week. The temperature, if you please.”
Bastard. I’m still breathing heavily, my heart racing a mile a minute. Slowly, I push myself up from the bed and stagger to the desk. I place the thermometer under my tongue, wait three minutes based on the clock nailed to the wall and take it out to check the number. I jot down the temperature in the journal and crawl back to bed, falling immediately asleep once my head hits the pillow.
It doesn’t feel long when I wake up with a jerk, feeling disoriented as I look around the room. It is still dark outside and the clock shows that I have probably been asleep for forty minutes tops. Once again, I look around trying to pinpoint what has woken me but don’t see anything out of the ordinary. Nothing except that strong scent lingering in the air. It smells like coffee but not quite the drink. It has a tinge of musk underneath, like that of a man. It smells totally different from Yoongi’s earlier. I get up and follow it out of the bedroom only to find myself in front of the room next to mine. I knock lightly but there is no answer. I try the door and find it unlocked and make my way inside. A desk lamp is on. On the bed, a figure is sitting on the edge of it, his back to me. He turns, revealing an art book in his hands.
“Namjoon,” I whisper, calling his name in what sounds more like a whine stuck in my throat. I’m not sure why, never mind the fact that we are basically strangers, but I need him. Need to feel his arms around me or else I wouldn’t feel safe to continue sleeping. He looks confused, regarding me from above his reading glasses. Then his eyes soften. Without a word, he puts down the book and stretches out an arm, beckoning me over. I go to him like a child, snuggling under the blanket for warmth but mostly to feel him against me. It isn’t a sexual need, I note. It was more like that of a child needing her comfort blanket, for reasons I’m clueless of. Once under the blanket and in his embrace, I nuzzle his neck, breathing in that faint coffee scent and I immediately relax, feeling my nerves just melting away. Subtly, he nuzzles the top of my head in return.
“Did you have coffee before bed?” I can’t help but ask, my nose pressing against the hollow of his neck.
“No,” he replies, his voice coming out husky. “Why?”
“You smell like coffee,” I say before drifting off to sleep, for good this time.
Next part: here
Check out my other works → :MASTERLIST:
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Before I Leave You (Pt.43)
(Omegaverse au, Mafia au, Bts x Reader)
Summary: “Maybe that’s just what intimacy is- the context of us in another person’s life.”
Pairing: Beta! Yoongi, Omega! Reader, Omega! Jungkook, Omega! Seokjin, Alpha! Namjoon, Alpha! Hoseok, Alpha! Taehyung, Alpha! Jimin
Tags: Fluff, hurt/comfort, Low-self esteem, ED mention, talks of ptsd, anxiety, panic-attacks, first kisses, smut, frottage, grinding, handjobs, non-penetrative sex, implied dom/sub dynamics, brief allusions to pet play, talks of euthanasia/death, poisoning, Flashbacks, omegaspace,
W/c: 13k
A/n: Ah so here it is! I’ve been gaining a lot of new followers the last few days in part because of the twitter die off. I hope that things don’t change too too much but!!! heres to hoping <3 i’m not having the best of times mentally at the moment and on top of that this chapter isn’t one i’m super proud of (ngl i sorta don’t like this at all) the best thing you can do to help is by leaving some positive feedback on this chapter <3
Previous Chapter - Masterlist
(18 months Prior)
The next time that you visit the small yellow house in the middle of the city, you are the picture of perfect omega grace. A change from your last visit where your dripped blood onto the same cobblestone path. Body broken and mind just as fragile.
Now you visit in a modest black dress favored by the other omegas in the family. Your lipstick is patted on just so and a cute red pink color, painted there not by your own hands but by Hyejin.
You’ve been spending a lot more time with her recently.
Keep reading
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Before I Leave You (Pt. 51)
(Omegaverse au, Mafia au, Bts x Reader)
Summary: you’ve never seen Namjoon this angry before, but you can’t say he’s not rightfully upset at You and Hobi. Not every punishment can go according to plan…
Tags: Dom! Namjoon, Sub! Hoseok, Sub! Reader, Non-sexual punishments, non-sexual submission, Spanking, Safe word usage, puppy! hobi, Puppy play, under negotiated scenes, Eventual Sub drop, self-esteem issues, bruises, shame, angst, hurt/comfort, talk of murder, descriptions of past medical trauma, implied anxiety attacks, Namjoon is lowkey having a trauma response in this,
W/c: 9.7k
A/n: while this might not be my best work- it is a chapter that i kinda like just cuz it’s a bit heavier on the angst tbh <3 why does Bily keep getting longer and longer? Btw- there is a little bily discord server too! its been really nice to talk to people and come up with little Bily headcanons and i usually give sneak peeks and spoilers for chapters <3 even if you don’t want to talk you should still join!
Previous Chapter - Masterlist
Guilt hammers through Hobi’s chest, as bright and sanguine as blood. Guilt for the kiss, guilt for putting you in danger, and guilt for getting you in trouble. The list is endless. It tinges Hobi’s fiery soul dark red. Like poison seeping slowly through his body, rendering his usual thoughts incapacitated.
Not even the scruff can extinguish the guilt. Hobi manages to keep his legs mostly under him but you don’t get off quite so easily. Limp and in need of an arm to support you around the waist as the pack alpha drags you over the threshold like a mother cat carrying a kitten that had wandered too far from the den. You’re dizzy as he sets you on the couch.
The living room is dark except for the light in the corner which Namjoon flicks on. Every one of his movements controlled and careful. Even angry, with his arms rippling with power when he shucks off his robe, he’s so careful to keep his movements slow and intentional.
He doesn’t want to spook either of you.
Keep reading
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Before I Leave You (Pt. 54)
(Omegaverse au, Mafia au, Bts x Reader)
Summary: You don’t want your first time taking namjoon’s cock to be during his rut, luckily- the pack is there to make the transition easier.
Tags: Dom! namjoon, Dom! jin, Sub! m/c, switch! Jungkook, threesome, groupsex, Monster cock Namjoon, squirting, Knotting, size kink, belly bulge, breeding kink, pregnancy kink, humiliation kink, obedience-kink, daddy kink, mommy kink, voyeurism, fingering, sex-toys, double penetration mention, cock cages, manhandling, mentions of orgasam torture, orgasam denial, cuming pre-maturely but in a sexy way, safeword mention but no usage, a tad bit of dehumanization if you squint, pre-rut no rut yet next chapter, possessiveness, feral! Namjoon, mentions of the m/c’s past ed, body worship, Namjoon really loves her chub and gets horny about it,
W/c: 17.9k
A/N: Ah, here is is, i know it’s been a long time, this chapter and the following one have been taking alot out of me! it would help me so much if you left some love in my inbox about this chapter <3 A caveate on the topic of unrealistic penetration- this is a fantasy, more specifically /my fantasy/ so i’m gonna do with it what i want. would namjoon technically be litterally fucking her womb if omega anatomy was the same as human anatomy? yes. do i think cervixes are different in the omegaverse? also Yes.
Previous Chapter - Masterlist
Namjoon sleeps for the next 10 hours.
He’s been awake for almost twice that long by the time his body finally relaxes against the nest. Sour clothes changed and his pack watching nervously trying to guess at how far along he is into pre-rut.
The blankets in the nest are fluffy but not at all right and it makes namjoon want to cry. There’s something about it that sets an itch down his neck. The discomfort eased by kisses pressed to his sleepy form, his shoulders aching from being in one position for nearly 20 hours. Sweet nuzzles against his throat relax his body, substantially soothed.
The wrongness is something for future Namjoon to handle. This one just needs to rest. The pinch to the back of his neck takes the edge off, that and Jin’s command of sleep. sleep alpha- we’ll be here when you wake has Namjoon melting into the covers.
While he rests his body grows sorer. Nose itching more sensitive by the moment. His blood and heart pumping quicker, adrenaline readying itself for the hunt.
His nose twitches in his sleep and his scent spikes gradually; first it’s warm coffee like normal, then like a heady wave that fills the nest room and then the house. Pushing out all other scents until it’s all you can smell.
You wonder if by the time his rut hits, you’ll feel like you’re drowning in it.
Keep reading
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Before I Leave You (Pt.58)
(Omegaverse au, Mafia au, Bts x Reader)
Summary: Your nightmares are a troubling development but the pack won't let you drown. They have different ideas on how to help you. Some more damaging than others.
Tags: Angst, Hurt/comfort, Fluff, Cuddling, scent marking, Nightmares, graphic depiction of fake character death, Discussions of past rape, No explicit depictions of past rape/sexual assault, past domestic-abuse, flashbacks, safe-wording during sex (Sorta), unpleasant sexual encounters, under-negotiated kink, mentioned sex toys, crying during sex, Sad blow jobs, small dick jungkook, allusions to past eating disorders, anxiety, implied self-hate, self-esteem issues, non-verbal main character.
W/c: 12.9k
A/N: this chapter was originally supposed to be a lot longer- but i got too in depth with it and had to split it up. This is easily one of the more heavy chapters of bily (and that's saying something), so please be mindful of the tags! For anyone wanting to skip the super triggering parts in the next chapter i've highlighted a sentence in red font both after the first triggering section and before the very triggering ending.
Special thanks to @imperiussexrex for helping me with jk's part <3 they're the bestest <3
Previous Chapter- Masterlist
"Sleep well, my lovely little spy."
Jin’s eyes flutter open, looking up at the beta who's watching him with a gentle but noticeably tense smile. Jin’s mouth is dry, he could pretend he didn’t hear anything but there would be no use. The truth wouldn’t change.
"Holy shit.” Jin’s whole body is ridged. Ready to run. In panic mode. But Yoongi’s hand settles on his shoulder. It’s the same touch as always and just as gentle and kind as it was both this mourning and 6 years ago. Yoongi has always been a kind soul, regardless of every secret Jin's ever learned to love about him.
Letting himself be known in return feels a little bit more perilous. Jin’s heart thuds against his fingertips. He swallows hard.
Yoongi hums, agreeing with Jin’s assessment. He runs a hand gently through Jin’s hair. Tugging away loose a knot. “Holy shit indeed.”
Everything is fine. In the wake of the dead body, everything in the pack is absolutely fine.
(That’s a lie, everything is definitely not fine, everything is in fact- falling apart. Like a butterfly larva worming its way to crystalize. Carving its way towards both womb and tomb. Something that changes you or destroys you.)
Jin and Yoongi can only hope.
It’s only hope after all. How much damage can it really do?
~-~
Your unraveling starts with the Nightmares.
Tonight, it’s a dark tangle of half-forgotten moments. A movie with all of the scariest scenes copied and pasted. Bright punctures of feelings like blood dripping down your chin and the tang of it in your mouth. Geumjae’s scent in your nose as he shoves your mouth against his skin. All of it. Every unhappy memory that your psyche has locked away for later drags you down like the tide would drag a stone to a watery grave.
Until the moments condense like a figure rising through fog and you’re sitting in that house again. The one with the yellow brocade curtains pulled closed across the windows so that no one sees what happens inside.
You're sitting with Geumjae at the dining room table. The elaborate meal in front of you rises with steam and smells divine calling you like a moth to honey. The cutlery is polished so clean that you can see your reflection in it. A million dancing tiny versions of you stare back with vacant doll-like eyes.
You remember this meal; you remember what happened to you on this morning. The soreness between your legs reminds you of that horror. You remember how hard you worked after he left in the morning after leaving you in a bloody heap on the bathroom floor. You remember hoping that if you did everything you absolutely could to prepare this meal, He’d be satisfied and he wouldn’t hurt you again.
But avoiding rape is never quite so easy.
It was foolish to hope back then. Geumjae was a man of routine and he required your body every morning and evening without fail. But hoping is so hard to avoid, like an itch under your skin that demands biting nails, a furious sort of wanting. Hope is nothing more than a chain that drags you through the sludge when you think it might be your buoy.
In this nightmare, the other chairs at the table aren’t empty like they usually are. It’s not just you here.
He must have taken a needle and stitched your mouth shut (like he always threatened) because you feel powerless to scream at Namjoon to get away to stay back. You can do nothing more than watch as he leans over and says something to Geumjae that makes him smile. His smile makes him look like Yoongi; who sits at the head of the table and nurses a glass of wine while scowling.
Jin is on Namjoon's other side, hair combed back from his face in a way that makes Seokjin look absurdly pretty. The picture of delicate omega composure. Each of them eats like they haven't in days, shoveling food into their mouths like it’s their last meal.
Jungkook is by your side and asks if you’re going to eat your dinner roll. Puffy and crusty bread that he never would be able to eat in real life. You watch powerlessly as he scarfs it down like he hasn’t ever eaten anything more delicious. Licking his fingers from the crumbs when he finishes.
Tae is dressed in your jewels this time, not Jimin's. The necklace Geumjae gave you for your second anniversary digs into her collar bones as if it was pinned there. Like a butterfly on a piece of cardboard. Glittering with more diamonds than seem possible. Like one of those Instagram filters, every reflection mark turned glittery. Jimin’s suit is like something out of vogue.
One moment you’re looking at the perfectly edible food and the next you’re watching it rot before your very eyes. The meat greying and melting. The salad wilts gooey and spoiled. The fancy porcelain plates writhing with worms and maggots and creepy crawlies that slither out of nowhere. A spider inches its way up your fork.
No one notices. No one realizes that the bites they bring to their lips are poison. Jin licks his lips, the skin already greying and cracking.
Geumjae looks up at you from his plate, grinning all the while. Collar starched white. You haven’t heard his voice in so long but your mind remembers the exact cadence of it in perfect detail.
“What’s wrong princess? Aren’t you going to eat up?
When you look back at them it's already too late. Namjoon’s slumped in his chair staring blankly forward with bloody eyes. When you look Jin’s got his head half gone. Cut away. Wriggly things curl behind what's left of his eye.
Tae’s collarbones are bleeding where the diamond collar sits. Ribbons drip down her bodice. Jimin’s white shirt is slowly blooming red too. Bullet wounds pepper his chest. One on his shoulder and a cluster of them over his heart.
Jungkook slumps over his plate seizing until he’s still. Still the way that dolls are. Dead. Looking at you with wide vacant eyes that go grey with congealing blood.
Yoongi's hands are burning, fire licking up his clothes and he does nothing to put it out. Burning and bubbling and boiling. Skin peeling up like paint beneath the flames.
Hoseok is the only one not at the table.
Across from you, Geumjae smiles again. Baring his teeth in that animal way of his. “What’s wrong princess? I thought you said you loved them- aren’t you going to try and stop it?”
One moment he’s across the table and the next he’s leaning over you, back in that bedroom that was your hellhole less than a year ago. Pulling you by your hips to the end of the bed when you try to twist away. He fumbles with his belt buckle.
The sheets burn against your skin like its rug burn and although you weakly push at his chest. It feels like you're moving in slow motion. Your strength is nothing compared to his. It never was enough in real life anyway.
“No- no I don’t want- please don’t,” you choke. Trying to get him off of you, when he opens his mouth there are maggots there too.
You never did find out what they did with Geumjae’s body. But now you know as the rotting corpse of your dead husband assaults you. Boney hands grab your wrists as the worms drip out, dangle, and wriggle, falling onto your face and-
One of the terrible things about the big nest upstairs is that it’s really easy to get trapped in the middle with no easy way out.
Hobi finds himself in that position when he wakes. It’s the middle of the night, nearly 3 am probably when he’s roused by the familiar ache in his stomach that tells him he needs to pee.
The shades are pulled across the windows keeping the light out, and what little slips through is kept out by a thin curtain that sections off the nest from the rest of the room. Shielding the familiar lumps of packmates buried beneath the nest slumbering away.
It feels good to have all of you sleeping in one space, the instinctual pleasure flutters and builds on the edge of Hobi’s consciousness as he lifts his head. Barely opening his eyes. It feels homey in the way that Namjoon's rut nest hadn't. It's a true nest, Smelling thick and cakey sweet all of your scents drench it now after a few days of you all sleeping here. After finding the dead body, the decision had been unanimous. No more sleeping separately. No more splitting up between the upstairs nest and the remnants of yours downstairs.
Even though it's a new space some things never change. Jimin still sleeps at the edge near the bottom, guarding the nest from the most logical point of vulnerability. Although that might be because of last week.
The pack has made a few other adjustments in terms of safety since you and Hobi found the dead body. Many a moment has hobi walked into a room with Jin and Yoongi only to have them fall silent. But he doesn't have to ask what new precautions they've agreed upon.
They’ve fallen back into the habit of letting each other know when they get to work safely and when they leave, and when to expect them home (the same habit they had just after yoongi left actually) Phone locations are perpetually turned on just in case. But Hobi knows the only time any of them feel truly settled is when they’re all up here.
The nest is big. Big enough for all of you to sleep comfortably, even all sprawled out. But as thoughtful as Yoongi was when he constructed the space he certainly did not think about how hard it would be to leave for a midnight bathroom break given the walls that close in on three sides.
Now, Hobi is trapped and bound by blankets and fancy pillows and the gently sleeping bodies of his pack all around him. The border is high and fluffed. It’s in an alpha's nature to be careful around his packmates and it goes against something very basic in Hobi to even think about disturbing the carefully placed pillows and blankets, the general purposeful disarray of such a cozy nest. Alphas simply don’t fuck with omega nests.
But on the other hand, he’s seriously stuck.
Namjoon, Jimin, and Jin are at the bottom blocking off the most logical point of egress. Jin’s head rests on Jimin's shoulder, dark hair fanning. Yoongi is tangled up with Tae (her hair in these little puffy rollers). And Jungkook’s star fished and spread out by the top edge, right where Hobi was. His fingers rest under his shirt like he’s been rubbing at his stomach. Snoring softly.
Hobi’s heart swells just looking at them.
The only safe avenue of exit where Hobi won’t be climbing over two people is near the bottom left, close to Jin and Namjoon, where you lie on your side, cheek pillowed. Chest rising up and down a little rapidly in the darkness. It’s so dark that Hobi doesn’t see it at first.
Hobi’s so half-asleep that he doesn’t even realize right away that you’re not as undisturbed as the others. That you occasionally twitch like a puppy.
Hobi is no stranger to maneuvering his lithe body around sleeping packmates, muscles straining as he very gently pulls himself over you. Depressing the mattress by your side. His baggy sleep shirt momentarily brushes your face as he shifts over you.
Your reaction is instinctual, one moment asleep and the next awake. Your scent going sour all at once. Exploding in a rush. You push out with your arms, still in the nightmare.
One second Hobi’s on the bed the next he’s stumbling out of it, Barely keeping himself from falling face-first onto the floor. Bare feet slide on the polished wood when he gets them under him. Cursing out a brief “What the fuck?” looking back, ready to be angry at being shoved.
But then he sees that you're sitting up, trembling so hard that your hands can't grip the blanket to get it off of you. Eyes wide and glassy with panic. You blink and blink, lower lip wobbling.
There is a single moment where he just looks at you, but then you let out a small (and admittedly pathetic) chirp.
There is nothing like a chirp that tugs on an alpha’s hindbrain, that drags Hobi's instincts to the forefront like a hook in a fish's mouth. He's honestly surprised that the sound doesn't wake anyone else. Maybe because it's so quiet, so small.
It’s just a dream, just a very bad dream, and your pack is sleeping softly around you. The next thing you feel is Hobi gently crushing you to his chest. Smelling like caramel and boy. Tenderly whipping back your hair from your face. His warm fingertips press against your tender temples dislodging the last bit of you that can't tell if this is real yet.
“Pup? What’s wrong- what happened?"
Hobi looks about as different from Geumjae as anyone possibly could, his jaw slender where Geumjae was wide, eyes bright where his went dark and hooded. Unthreatening and normal brown in the glow.
But just like the dream, you can’t fucking speak.
“Fuck- it was just a dream, whatever it was- it’s not real- I’m-”
You’re shaking and crying and you can’t respond. Your throat is all tight. All of you that is usually happy and gentle is reduced small and scared and quiet. You can't tell where the shadows end and where reality begins. You can only feel his hands. That's the only thing that feels real beyond the terror.
You can't look around; you can't look around at the others- too scared that they'll be dead.
Thank God for the physical nature of Hobi’s job. Herking bags of soil and 30-gallon trees has honestly done him good because it means he can carry you downstairs with a little effort.
Real panic circles his head like a bunch of buzzards, threatening to pick his heart clean. "Hang on- here we go." He turns on each of the lights one by one by leaning into them. Shoulder hitting the plastic, the two of you safer with each click. "See- there isn't anything to be scared of! There's no one here but us."
Hobi is right, Hobi would never lie to you. This kitchen is not the same one from your nightmares. The blinds are blinds and not curtains, drawn to keep out the streetlights not any prying eyes. The old rickety table where the pack has their meals isn't piled with food at all. Only some tangerines in a wooden bowl in the center.
You’re small and shaky in an extra big shirt of Namjoon’s that pools on your thighs when he places you on gently the countertop with a small 'oof'. You're already a little more lucid, eyes darting from the light to the shadows and still trembling faintly. Hobi knows instantly from the stillness that you’re nonverbal. Mouth uncooperative. Your brain is a mix of misplaced adrenaline and cortisol. You smell terrified.
“It’s okay, it’s just a dream, here-” Hobi fills up a yellow plastic cup with water and tips it against your lips. The cold soothes your throat but not to the point that you can speak. You’re unwilling to detangle yourself from him. Real and warm and there now that you’ve got him. hand tangled in the front of his shirt, clinging to him.
He hums as he dabs a cold dishcloth across on your hot cheeks. “You’re okay- I’ve got you.” You lean into his hands, legs parted so that he can stand between them. You look so sad and so small that Hobi’s heart hurts.
You don’t want to speak, really don’t want to but you force yourself anyways. “Don’t remember them- usually- Or wake up in the middle- sorry- M' sorry.”
Your eyes itch, and your face feels all puffy as he continues to dab at it. The cloth is rough and Cold, but hobi's warm where his skin touches yours.
Alive and safe. you barely want to blink incase you miss it.
“Don’t apologize, it’s okay.” Hobi continues to dab at your cheeks, “You get them often?” You shake your head instead of responding and Hobi’s scent goes thick with upset, burning sugar ever so slightly smokey. You sniffle still sort of crying and Hobi does the only thing he can think of.
Maybe it’s just that he’s half asleep himself, or an expression of his alpha protectiveness. The ringing in his ears says protect packmate, provide for packmate, soothe.
Hobi’s scent gland brushes against yours with an electric zing. Pushing you from shaky to boneless nearly instantaneously. He drags his throat and chin across your left shoulder, and then your right.
it takes real effort for him to keep his palms pressed flat against the kitchen counter while he does it but at least it has the desired effect of banishing the last bit of sogginess from your cakey scent. Your instincts purr alphas here, alphas going to keep you safe, keep the shadows at bay.
Your scent goes sweeter and your half-asleep body goes mailable as you lean into him. Resting your cheek on his shoulder, Hobi huffs a soft laugh. It feels sort of nice, having you close like this. He knows how omega's get, Jungkook goes sleepy puppet soft when he's scent marked this close to sleep too.
Yoongi would want Hobi to do this right? Yoongi would want Hobi to comfort his mate. He’d do it himself if he was awake. Hobi’s just being a good packmate. Right?
The hair on the back of your neck stands on end as he pulls away. Is it just your imagination or is he a little reluctant?
A startled chirp bursts from your lips, and you clamp your hand back over your mouth. but hobi's laugh echoes loud off the high ceilings, "It's alright pup." You try to speak again but Hobi shushes you, there’s no need for you to push yourself. Not with him. Not right now.
The slant of the light across Hoseok’s face isn’t right. Too grey and yellow from the light in the hall. It’s too late for it to be morning yet and too dark for you to quiet your heartbeat. Hobi can feel it, jackrabbit fast against his throat.
If he's here, that means the nightmare really was only that. A nightmare. Hobi wouldn't be wrapped around you if the rest of the pack were dead. You don't need to go back upstairs and double-check.
Now if you could only stop crying.
“Here,” Hobi starts to pull away and you make a panicked sound, fingers tangling in his shirt. “I’m not going anywhere, let me just get my bag-” You shake while he’s gone, sitting on the countertop, stumbling when you get off of it, knees weak. Holding the edge until he comes and gets you with an arm under your shoulders, transferring you effortlessly to the couch.
When did Hobi get so good at this? You’d be inclined to think this was just another dream (one of those shameful ones that you don’t even mention to Yoongi) but you’re not sure you could have dreamed this up.
“Lights off or on?” You shiver so he goes one by one turning on the overhead lights and then the lamps, the ones under the cabinets in the kitchen too. There’s not a hint of shadow here, no monster that he couldn’t guard you from.
You can still see the light behind your eyes when you close them. Blinking slowly like a cat would. Hobi has his headphones in his hand, not his usual earbuds but the dilapidated black over-the-ear headphones with peeling stickers on the sides that have been his almost as long as Yoongi has (they might have been stolen from the record store- back when Yoongi's rebellious streak ran a little wider).
The second they go around your ears the world dampens and your heartbeat slows.
“I’ve got you.” Hobi mouths, reaching to pull your head to lie against his shoulder, the blue light flicker of his phone screen hurts your eyes as he scrolls through some songs and puts one on. It’s slow and soft, mostly instrumental except for faint vocals. You can’t hear what Hobi says but he pulls you to rest against his side. Settling.
He doesn’t make you talk about the nightmare. Doesn’t make you talk at all. You melt, pressing your face into his shoulder as hard as you can, your shaking relaxing with every word. Every soft hum. It’s working, your trembling is only skin-deep now. In a few minutes, you won't be shaking at all.
“Go to bed,” he asks, even though you can't hear him. Pillowed against him. The songs shift quietly. Your hand somehow gets under Hobi’s shirt and presses against the skin of his hip. Holding it softly so that he doesn’t go anywhere, it feels like a bit of a thank you.
You cling to him and he lets you. You probably can’t hear him but he still repeats, “I’ve got you.”
I’ve got you.
~-~
Yoongi’s never shot up faster in his life, leaving part of himself in the dream. He can feel the panic down the bond as he stumbles. The nest is too empty. Yoongi’s sleep-sluggish brain counts the number of bodies and he goes cold when he counts five and not seven. Pure shuddering terror bleeding down his back like he's just been doused with cold water.
Where are you? Where is Hobi? There is something wrong- something seriously wrong. Yoongi can feel it on the back of his tongue, the taste of your despair acidic. Once a familiar feeling, now lashing him like lightning.
Communicating directly through the mating mark isn’t something that happens often anymore for the two of you. It did when the bond was fresher, but now that it’s settled the connection has dulled. In the way that clothes go worn and comfortable. It’s not usually a stabbing pain like this. Such a visceral feeling that it wakes Yoongi up from it.
Yoongi stumbles to the door following your scent like a man possessed. The way it shifts from the nest. Panicked to not alone. Hobi’s panic too saturates the air. Yours is rainy wet and Hobi’s is burnt and over-sweet, faintly medicinal.
There are sounds on the stairs. Footsteps rouse Hobi just as he’s finally fallen asleep. His neck aches from how he’s been leaned back against the couch And he winces as it cracks.
“Hobi?” Yoongi calls cautiously. At his waist, your fingers tangle loosely in his shirt holding onto him like he’s a lighthouse in a storm, clinging to him even as you sleep. Hobi realizes he’s got a bit of your hair stuck to his lips. Spitting it out.
“Over here.“ Hobi’s jaw pops when he yawns. Yoongi stumbles to you because he can’t stay away when you’re like this. When you need him. You don’t rouse when Yoongi touches you, cupping your cheeks. Eyes feasting on the crusty salt around your eyes, the faint silvery shimmer of dried tear tracks across your cheeks.
“She had a nightmare- couldn’t sleep with the lights off so- thank god you're here I have to pee like so fucking bad-” Hobi says quietly.
Yoongi definitely does not eye the way that your hand stays loosely knotted in the front of his shirt, or note verbally the way that you smell like him. Drenched in hobi's scent and clinging to him.
“Daisy,” Yoongi says, sounding a bit surprised and alot in love, tucking his Hobi’s hair behind his ear. Standing over the two of you looking a little shaken. Yoongi is an expert at moving you softly detangling your hand from Hobi's shirt without waking you and freeing Hobi from his self-imposed prison.
He's still shaken when Hobi comes back from the bathroom. Hobi can’t blame him. You don’t really have the best track record when it comes to disappearing together. First the car crash last month, and now the dead body. It’s understandable why Yoongi’s panicked a bit.
But now he just looks at Hobi. Eyes scanning his face, a small smile beveling the edge of his lips.
“Stop looking at me like that,” Hobi says. The faint murmur of music is barely there, you're still asleep with his headphones on. Hobi had panic made a playlist on his phone after you’d fallen asleep. Putting only the most gentle instrumentals on it.
So what if he’d saved it with a cat emoji and a purple heart? Yoongi can’t possibly know that just by looking at him.
Yoongi doesn’t respond and Hobi tucks his chin, looking down at you, sleeping soundly still. The nightmare must have really tired you out because you're out like a light. His voice goes softer, like the emotion in his throat is constraining his vocal cords.
“What was I supposed to do? Let her panic? That wouldn’t have been kind.”
Yoongi's hand falls onto Hobi's head, rubbing through his hair. the touch feels like a reward. Hobi's not sure what for. “No- it wouldn’t have been Daisy.”
“Like it when you call me that,” Hobi says. Eyelashes flutter as yoongi scratched at the nape of his neck, head bowed. and he can hear the laugh in Yoongi’s voice. Hobi’s not really awake either.
“You don’t have to worry,” Hobi says “I’m not gonna like- freak out and run away if she needs something, like the first time.”
Hobi feels embarrassed about that when he thinks about it. Embarrassed and a little bit fond of the memory every time he sees the train ticket still in his wallet. The top edge is so chewed up that you can hardly tell it’s a ticket anymore.
“Sure,” Yoongi says and Hobi knows he hasn't fooled anyone, least of all your mate. hobi stands up properly, and when his hand falls, yoongi just tugs at his wrist, the callouses on his hands comfortably rough against hobi's skin. “Come on.”
You wake bleary for a handful of seconds when Yoongi puppets you, moving to sprawl out while Hobi discards the back cushions. Yoongi slips Hobi’s headphones off your ears and puts them safely to the side. wordless and publish while yoongi gets one of the blankets to tug it over your form.
Yoongi tuts and doesn't let hobi avoid the same predicament. although it's Infinitely more comfortable than his prior half-crunched position. If Yoongi’s being honest, it sort of looked like Hobi was guarding you. body curled over in a protective stance.
Alpha's are so funny.
Hobi ends up face-to-face with you. His flannel pj set un-buttoned to the middle tugged loose from your tugging earlier. the triangle of his bare chest presses against the bare skin of your collarbone as he shuffles away from the edge of the couch. Your own pj set pulled off one shoulder. Yoongi’s sitting up, his thigh warm against the top of Hobi’s head.
You’re running a fever maybe, worming your way closer to Hobi like you need it. Your nose presses into Hobi’s chest, a little cold at the tip and ticklish. Hobi squirms and Yoongi huffs. Overly fond.
“She does that to me in her sleep too sometimes. Means she likes your scent.” Hobi feels warm, and it’s no secret that his scent fluffs up sweeter, as if encouraging you to enjoy it. You re-settle. falling asleep with your nose tucked into Hobi's sternum.
Fuck you’re both so cute, your hair mixing colors on the pillow- sharing the same one because even being that far apart is too much. Hobi falls asleep with Yoongi combing gentle touches down his back. His favorite way to fall asleep- being touched so casually and consistently. You breathe against his skin, cradled to his chest. Sleeping soundly. Finally soothed.
Hobi watches you until sleep takes him.
~-~
Unfortunately, that’s not the last time you’re woken by a nightmare in the coming weeks
Over the next few days, it seems like more often than not Yoongi and Hobi wake to the scent of your terror in the air. Quieting your little sobs with soothing touches in the bathroom. Blankets are brought into the space so that you can curl up in the bathtub, darkness kept at bay by the overhead lights, its lingering shadow curling underneath the doorway trying to drag you down.
They don’t mind, at least they tell you they don’t mind when it eventually comes time to wake in the morning and your words are barely intact. Soft and rough in a way they haven’t been in months.
For you, it feels infuriating. Your non-verbalness might only be a temporary state but that doesn’t mean that overcoming it isn’t tiring. It’s frustrating. Working so hard each day to speak only to have it wrenched away again at night.
Always.
Always you wake up from your nightmares non-verbal. Guided to somewhere light by Hobi so that your fear of the dark won't rouse the rest of the pack. Soothed back to sleep by his music and some scenting. Waking up sometime after sunrise, struggling but better. A routine.
As for the pack…
“It feels like she’s going backward,” you hear Jin confess one morning while he brushes his teeth in the upstairs bathroom. he sounds afraid (he is afraid after waking up to you gone from the nest yet again for the 5th time this week- and it's only thursday). It's obvious Jin doesn't know you're within earshot but the double doors that lead to the bathroom are wide open.
Hobi sends you a fraught look. You’ve just come back upstairs after spending a few hours in the Living Room. You're only able to risk a few more hours of sleep because the sun is turning the sky all grey-blue.
“Do you think-” What he says next is jumbled by the sound of someone turning on the shower, Jungkook or jimin maybe (the upstairs shower is large enough that honestly- all eight of you might be able to fit given you where willing to risk any soap related injuries).
Namjoon’s answering hum is all dark thunder. jin's proposed solution a mystery. “No, I don’t think that would help.”
Sometimes it’s not just Hobi and Yoongi who wake up with you.
Sometimes it’s Jimin. Holding your shoulder with that firm touch looking like he’s about to snap his teeth at any incoming shadows. Sometimes you wake and he’s already sitting at the edge of the bed watching the stairs and the windows. Shirtless, legs splayed with his handgun balanced across his knees.
Or is it just your imagination? Is that just another dream because you certainly don’t see any weapons when he and Hobi pull you from the bed a few seconds later?
They take shifts. Jin and Namjoon blanket you on both sides, soft rumbles soothing you, their quiet banter a welcome melody in your private nest downstairs. Jungkook the next night- who admittedly just wraps his body around you and goes back to sleep so quick it makes you jealous, curled around your spine while you listen to Tae read you a late-night story.
Tae’s delicate murmur does all the character's voices just right. Her lips are both mystery and familiarity. She always seems to crack open the world with the first line.
“Look, I didn’t want to be a half-blood.”
They never make you speak; never treat you like they’re too tired even though you know they are. You can see it on their faces, on Hobi’s eyebags getting greyer by the day. Hobi’s the only one who's there every time a nightmare drags you awake. Even Yoongi doesn’t wake up every time.
(Although you confess it's more because you develop a routine. You and Hobi sleep by the side of the nesting nook, where it’s easy to get out without moving around too much. Close enough to each other that he often wakes smelling like you and you always wake smelling like him).
You try to talk with him about it. Guilt makes your heart feel all stuffy. Is it possible to get a heart cold?
“You know, you could just leave your headphones out-"
“No- don’t worry about it, I’ll just make it up later.”
Always. Always Hobi wakes and plops his headphones on your ears. Sometimes he seems awfully lively, grinning and cracking jokes when you burrow into his chest and wipe your tears on his shirt.
“I am like- among the top 10 worst sponges in history you know?”
Sometimes he wakes you from the nightmares before you’ve had the chance to jerk awake. He recognizes the tell-tale stillness, the quick breaths. He never lets you suffer for long. Waking you with a hand on your shoulder. Allowing you to shove him just a little because he knows you're just reacting to your dream and him bleeding together.
"It's just me- you're okay, I've got you."
Sometimes, you wonder if you’re not the only one who can’t sleep lately.
During the day you spend a lot of time in the nesting pod, catching up on sleep while it's still light outside. dreading the afternoons and evenings when the shadows linger like a looming storm. Alone and safe and quiet.
Occasionally you're joined by noodle, purring up against your stomach. Meowing at you until you lift your arm and he can cuddle close. Sometimes you feel like he knows you’re sadder than you say you are. That when the others aren’t there to watch you, you’re stiller, less mobile than normal. You don't even click away at your phone, half the time you forget to charge it anyway.
Hobi would never tell you- but a few afternoons ago he’d come home to Noodle waiting for him on the front step. He’d lead Hobi inside, little kitty face glaring back at him every few steps. Circling his curled form and yowling when he dared to take a second to take his shoes. off. Panicked and nervous, all but biting on his ankles before he led Hobi into the sunroom. His bushy tail held high.
There he’d meowed woefully at your nesting pod where you slept soundly. So loud that Hobi was worried it would wake you. As if he was trying to say “Aren’t you going to do something?”
Hobi had just quieted the cat with a soft shush and picked him up. Closing the door behind both of them. “Let her sleep nu,” he’d gotten nothing but a tearful meow in response. Some squirming, but no claws. “What do you expect me to do? I’m trying my hardest.”
Noodle keeps his secrets. Hobi’s question goes unanswered by the cat- who’d simply squirmed out of his hold and gone to wait by the door to be let back in. Glaring at Hobi’s retreating figure like he’d been betrayed.
Noodle seems to know something that the pack doesn't. He's sat in your lap during dinner and breakfast every single night this week, especially on the days you’ve slept more.
Hobi continues to try his hardest. He brings home flowers from the shop. He says they’re for Jin but puts them by the nesting pod and no one even bothers to tease him. He makes sure that you don’t fall out of the habit of going on late-night drives. Even though you don’t go back to the beach again quite yet. The memories there are too prescient.
Hobi takes you to the winding mountain road again. Drag racing one night with Jimin, because what good is trying to squeeze in a few hours of sleep before sunrise when you’ll just wake anyway? You might as do something fun until you’d wake up normally.
You leave that night a little more wobbly-legged than Hobi will admit to Namjoon when he asks later. "I'm never getting into a car with you again Minnie- what the fuck."
But sometimes the alphas do use the sunroom when you’re there.
It’s kind of nice to hear them on the other edge of your senses. When you’re dozing and Tae and Jimin want to play video games. their shouts of happiness and false outrage better than their screams of terror.
When Hobi and Jungkook want to do some stretching before they take an afternoon run, their giggles push out the memories of cruel words that ring in your ears. Yoga mats all stretched out and noodle perched on the edge of Hobi's multicolored one. Watching you, tail flicking back and forth.
They'll never know how much they help just by being there.
Or when they work on rearranging Hobi’s plants around. Fitting them into different spots like a jigsaw puzzle and moving them from room to room. He doesn’t mean to be indecisive about it, he’s just trying to find the best home for each of them.
They take the big banana tree upstairs to put it in the nesting room because that honestly has really good light and Hobi’s baby can’t be compromised. They move the monstera there too and switch the string of pearls for three big ferns hanging above your nesting nook. Shifting A big fig tree that honestly looks kinda pretty from the entryway to the corner, hanging part of the way over the small sectional.
A leggy orchid that someone bought Namjoon as a “thank you for not letting me go braindead” present is the wimpiest and smallest of the bunch. Hobi's in the process of rehabilitating it. For now, it sits on the window sill growing a single pathetic leaf.
Hobi tries to spend a lot of time nearby when you’re trying to sleep, he always seems to show up when you're having the hardest time ignoring your thoughts.
They're getting tired of you being a goddamn mess every time. Why can't you just get better? It's pathetic, Hobi is fine. Why are making such a big deal over this? But deep down you know it's not just the dead body that caused all of this.
Things are slow at the flower shop in the fall with only the occasional wedding until the Christmas season starts up. Hobi talks to you about it while he waters his plants and trims up some leaves that are dying. He’s definitely not looking forward to making bows for the whole month of December and wrestling with wreaths. He’d much rather talk to you about his ferns. The big stag leaf one that’s in the corner by the tv. And the big fluffy ones that hang above the nesting pod.
“I know they're messy but If I overwinter them we can hang them back on the porch next year, They looked so nice!”
You hum from the pod, turning your cheek to look up at him. he's got his flannel rolled up to his elbows, a shirt underneath that looks homey and warm. Hobi’s scent grows sweet. “They did look really cool this year, kind of like big green soot sprites.”
“We should watch spirited away again.”
“We should.”
You stretch out in the nesting pod while he fiddles with one of the fronds, pulling off the dead leaves with a crumple. You stretch your curled-up legs, toes brushing the ratan sides of the pod.
“If I was a plant where would you put me?”
“Probably where it’s sunniest.”
You can hear his smile on the words, you hum and go back to sleep while he works. Hobi checks your breathing every few minutes, just to make sure you don’t need to be woken up again.
Hobi never talks about the nightmares and never asks what they’re about. Which is something you’re thankful for as the days go on and they get worse and worse. You don’t know how many more nights you can wake up gasping without telling them what you're dreaming about. That it's the idea of them dying that has you so panicked. not to mention the nightly revision of the worst parts of your abuse.
Yoongi doesn't always let you escape without a bit of interrogation. Badgering you until you tell him that he needs to stop.
Jin’s just as bad, constantly hovering. You found your sleep schedule, an estimated hours of sleep you’ve gotten scrawled on the edge of a newspaper in Namjoon's handwriting. He's a little generous with his calculation- You know you haven't slept 13 hours in the last 4 days. You’d crumpled up the page and thrown it in the garbage.
In the morning you find out their motive behind it. Blinking down at your cereal and at the red raspberries bobbing in the milk. You can't help but get defensive about this; because really when you go non-verbal so often about this- what good would talking do?
“Jin, I’m not going to therapy.”
Jin looks a little bit less like his usually put-together form, button-up shirt a little looser than it might have been a few weeks back. Yoongi rubs down his shoulders as he passes. Work has been keeping Jin later and later- anytime someone asks he says something about a problem child at the home for forgotten pups that needs Jin's full attention.
It's so very like him to suggest therapy.
He pulls his fingers through his hair, trying to comb it into something orderly. Abandoning his usual routine of gel and mouse. “I’m not saying you have to go consistently- just once or twice, you went through something-“ he breaks off when Yoongi taps his hip, shaking his head.
You’re twisting your hands over your lap, again and again. But the word lands even though it was unsaid. Whereas before you and Hobi had a smart retort- now- the word feels less hollow, more heavy.
And Jin's not just talking about the body.
Jin doesn’t want to be frank, but you don’t look the best. Maybe it’s because you’d been so steadily getting better that they hardly remembered what sadness looks like on you. But now it looks like this; you sitting at the island counter, looking at your food, too nauseous to eat. Actually worried you're going to vomit if you try.
Any other morning, Jin would sit by you and coach you through it, would sit and wait for you and move you somewhere safe, somewhere softer to prod. He'd chase this worry with gentle touches. maybe he'd give you a gentle settling if you were feeling like you needed to reach that happy hazy head space to eat.
Any other morning Jin wouldn’t leave you.
But this morning, the clock says that Jin has exactly 20 minutes before he has to leave for work or else he’ll be late and miss the debriefing on the latest string of murders and drug-related reports. including a very well worded anonymous tip. it's important that jin's there for that.
It’s not enough time to drag you to some corner of the house and scent you happy. Or better- scruff you down into omegaspace where you’d be mailable and more agreeable under his touch.
Yoongi's eyes say, go I've got this, and Jin has never been more thankful for lovely enemies and a partner in crime.
But Jin simply does not have enough time to love you as he should. If Jin has to choose between making you feel loved and making you more physically safe he'll choose the latter every single time.
Baby steps. Rome wasn’t built in a day, and criminal empires won’t fall that quickly either.
“They’ll go away, I know they’ll go away because they did last time,” you reaffirm, only half believing it. You and Yoongi don’t talk about when you first moved into this house, but the truth is these nightmares aren’t really anything new for either of you.
At least this time they don’t come with you hurling your guts up every night. At least this time your words return in the middle of the day. At least you feel somewhat human right now.
Jin sends a fraught look in Hoseok ’s direction. Clearly requesting backup. He holds his hands up, straw in his mouth and ice coffee in his hand. “I’ll go if she goes.” Is all he says backing away. Clearly not ready to take Jin’s side with this. Late for work himself.
Jin almost misses when you guys were adversarial, rather than banded together as a unified front.
I never expected the pups to unionize
He sends Namjoon in a text a few hours later, After no less than 3 separate meetings that have him feeling more than a little tired himself.
Joonie (1:18): Really? I’d thought you would have been ready, no plans to destabilize the monarchy up your sleeve?
Jin can’t stop his smile, he’s conscious of who might be watching, so he hides it with his palm. Flirting on the FBI’s time has never felt so good.
What would you recommend?
Joonie (1:23): Spanking and sweets probably.
That at least had made Jin feel a little bit more at ease. But he knows what Namjoon really means, that he’s saying they should talk about this later face to face. Or worse there isn’t an easy solution. Namjoon had warned him that a request for therapy, however gentle and well-worded it was, might not go over well.
But what else can you do when someone won’t accept your concern? When love falls short? For the first time ever Jin is unsure what you need.
Over the next few weeks, you can tell that they’re being overly gentle with you. Treating you with velvet gloves.
Namjoon barks an order at Jungkook and Hobi when they rough house too close to you. jostling you where you stand unsteady in the bathroom. Tae lets loose a sleepy growl when Jungkook back hugs you one morning- something ordinarily innocuous but now makes you flinch hard. hand pressed over your heart to stop its thundering. Both times Jungkook tucks his tail smelling sour at being scolded even though it's really not his fault.
Everyone's instincts are running on high. Your scent is so off these days. Something about it muted and only getting duller. Jin didn't realize until the other day when he tried to find a pillow that smelled like you while nesting and couldn't.
The head of the FBI's largest organized crime task force, brought to sniffles over not being able to find the right pillow. What would Jin's enemies think?
Yoongi had only sighed, and relinquished his shirt to Jin's nesting. At least that was the next best thing.
but it's not only the little things that they're holding off from; it's sex too. You can clearly tell that they want to instigate something when you come upstairs one night after spending a few minutes with Tae in the library room.
Jungkook sat's tight across Namjoon’s lap. Moving his hips in a way that's sensual clinging to the pack alphas bare chest and licking into his mouth like an omega starved.
You know what they want to do- christen the nest in a way, truly break it in and make it smell like the pack.
But they'd stilled at your appearance and you'd made yourself scarce, clearly not ready to be asked to stay (or scarier- asked to leave). When you'd come back after showering the room had smelled of sour unhappy arousal and Jungkook had been pouting on the other side of the nest from Jin and Namjoon.
You hadn't heard the whispered argument. "You're treating her the exact same way you treated me when my seizures went bad."
"That was a different circumstance Koo and you know it."
"Still- it doesn't change the fact that you're making the decision for her instead of making a place that's safe enough for her to decide what she wants."
The idea that Jungkook and the others are holding off for your sake has you feeling even more guilty.
Even Tae- once insatiable, now hardly lifts her head from her computer when you walk into the library room wearing next to nothing. You know it’s just that. Just busyness that she's been spending every available second writing her new story.
But you can’t help but feel odd about it. Half guilty and half extra. Unwelcome.
Neglected isn’t the right word. Neglected is the word that Hobi would use for his orchid or the cactus that he accidentally forgot about outside. Two plants that are equally as finicky, opposites but maybe not in terms of difficulty. One praised for being beautiful, the other coveted for being hard to take care of.
It feels like that a lot of the time, that you're just hard to take care of. you're an adult you shouldn't even need to be taken care of at all.
That night- you toss and turn in the bed. Unable to sleep because you can't help but think about it, your thoughts a rushing torrent of you're such a bother. Maybe they're just trying to let you down easily. Maybe all of the love is a lie. You should try harder, if you try harder to overcome this then maybe they won't ask you to leave.
Sadness has rotted your brain a little, you don't know how to get back, how to stop the spiral. Until your hands are so tight that your nails dig into your palms. Leaving bloody little crescents.
The next day you try to catch up on sleep. In the nesting pod. A dark spot. Out of sight and out of mind, where all broken things go when it's clear they can't be fixed in a way that makes them useful. But it feels like you've only slept a few minutes when you're roused- not from a nightmare, but because someone gets into your nesting pod with you.
You smile in your sleep at the scent of honey, rich and golden. So nice and sweet that it makes you get goosebumps. Jungkook noses at them, dragging his cheek along the hair on your arms, soft and pleasant in that sensory sort of way.
Even though the nesting pod was a gift from Namjoon you'd been clear to Jungkook and Jin that they could use it whenever they wanted to. They're always a little bit more inclined to nest upstairs.
You sleepily hold out your arms for Jungkook, only cracking your eyes a little. You're not prepared for the sight of him in a crop top. blinking as you register it. Your pulse climbing higher. Jungkook doesn't say anything, doesn't say anything at all as he pulls his body along yours, settling mostly on top of you. quiet until you query "Kookie?"
He smells a little like the gym, but more like he'd showered there and then come home. You don't remember what day it is, what his schedule was. But the house is quiet around you, it must be one of his early days then?
His nose rubs smooth little circles along your neck, and when you pull back his eyes are a little glassy. "I miss you," he says, voice cracking a tiny bit. You don't have to ask why he misses you when you're right here. You know and your heart clenches painfully.
you laugh, "you just saw me this morning." but his lower lip wobbles, and you know thats not what he meant. it's frightfully easy to knot your fingers in his hair and pull him down to eye level. "c'm here."
You can tell by the way that Jungkook kisses you that he wants you, his arousal burning skin deep as his tongue laves against your lower lip and his hand slides down your chin to cup your scent gland, fingers pressing over the sensitive skin delicately.
You're so fucking tired.
Jungkook’s sex drive is honestly the highest in the pack, and you know that they usually keep him well tended to. But you also know that because of your predicament, no one’s tended to his needs in the last few days. You can smell it on the edge of his scent. Sweet but overly sweet, like a hovering cloud of settling perfume, unable to settle. Just getting stronger.
It’s not your job, and it shouldn’t be anyone’s job per se, but the idea of turning him down is so displeasing that you won’t even if you’re not really in the mood right now. You're so fucking tired. There isn't room for anything else. you don't have the energy to want this, you don't have the energy to want anything but sleep.
You kiss back, a little gentler than he wants, the soft needy noise he makes against the seam of your mouth tells you just how welcome it is. Your arms are sluggish as they go around his shoulders. He grins happy, and you grin too- because Jungkook’s joy is honestly so infectious. You let him tug you up, tug you out of the nesting pod even though your heart lurches.
This is your use to the pack, isn't it? The youngest omega, the lowest one in the hierarchy. You shouldn't say no and deny Jungkook what he wants. This is the way that he feels free, the way that he makes himself better.
After the pack's sleeping quarters had changed, there’d been a whole debate over where exactly to put the pack's sex toy collection and what to do with their old bedroom on the first floor. The side closet is no longer big enough or in use.
Installing some shelves in the bedroom had been the easiest solution. now they frame either side of the windows, holding Tae's overspill of books at the top and a few display cases. You remember the first day you'd wandered in here in search of your mate and found some suspicious-looking brackets installed along the ceiling studs, sawdust piles sweeper up on the floor.
“It’s totally not a sex dungeon.”
“Babe, you’re making a display for Jungkook’s dildo collection with a built-in sex bench.” At least you can still tease your mate when you're sad like this. Every little semi-normal comment you make feels like seeing the sun during a break from the storm. Even Yoongi's pout is half a smile.
“Just because I want there to be a bench doesn’t mean It’s a sex bench. It could be for like- watching tiktok and stuff. You know Hobi likes to find a spot where he won't bother us.”
“It’s totally a sex bench.”
“Is not.”
Yoongi is too fun to rile up. You'd watched him blush as you and Jungkook had playfully grabbed and swung on the ropes Yoongi was hanging, the heavy thick cotton ones soft to the touch that won’t irritate his loves sensitive skin. testing out the brackets meant for suspension.
Jungkook’s just as giggly and happy when he drags you there now, and your smile is very real pressed to his shoulder. The farthest thing from fake. it might be the first time you've smiled today. Jungkook always makes you feel this way; a little younger, a little bit like you’re sneaking around. That at least feels right.
You're very good at concentrating on the parts of sex that feel good, the parts that you want and not the ones that you don't.
(This morning the others had talked about it with Jungkook. Jimin and Tae had cuddled close to brainstorm. The way they often talk about sex things and pack things. Jimin's snorted honesty still stings.
"I don't know if Yoongi could literally fuck the sadness out of her, but at least it's a suggestion."
Jungkook had felt petulant and whiney, "But why doesn't he just try- if anyone's got a magic just right dick it's him-" Tae had chased Jungkook's disappointment with a kiss.
The truth is; the pack is mostly at a loss with how to help you this time. The most they can do is just stay close and make sure you have everything you need. But lately, not even that has felt like enough. Tae had scrapped her nails down Jungkook's abs, soothing him, with a bit of tingly pain pleasure.
"You're the only one whose bad mood can literally be cured with a good fuck bunny.”)
Yes, Jungkook is trying to make you feel lighter in the only way he knows how right now. But there are different medicines for different hurts for a reason.
Jungkook guides you down to the sex bench, tugging at your shirt a little. Still kissing you. Up close you realize it's actually more of a daybed, styled very attractively with a few throw pillows. One that's more memory foam and sturdy for propping bodies up.
It's no secret how sweet turned on happy Jungkook smells from just a little kissing, just the bare minimum. Jungkook moans- a crocked needy sound, scent pulsing richer in the air. He squirms a little bit, reaching over to one of those shelves. Rummaging in one of the frosted acrylic buckets.
“I’ve had this idea for weeks now that you've taken Joonie’s- fuck- I just- I didn’t know when you’d want to try it but I saw this video online with two omegas and Jin said no but- ha! Here it is!”
You gulp.
The big purple thing is a veritable monster, glittery and double-ended, ridged not like a regular dildo but more like a tentacle. It's about as thick around as your wrist. Namjoon’s a little thicker but still-
it makes fear trickle down your spine, warm and almost bleeding.
Jungkook reads your expression. And the disappointment crests his cheeks, his bunny smile falls, and you feel like you’ve failed already.
At the thought of being filled right now. You feel like you might want to vomit. You try not to have any sort of expression, just a small smile- but fall abysmally short. You’re too tired, too sore, too tight to properly enjoy that.
The idea that your sadness is enough to get in the way of this, what Jungkook so clearly needs is suddenly too much for you to bare. Jungkook needs sex, doesn't he? He needs it to make the seizures feel not quite so damning. He'd told you once- how much he required sex to feel loved. It's his love language right? Isn't this what people always say when they want physical touch?
Who are you to say that your needs are more important than his? You certainly do not love yourself as much as you love him.
Jungkook’s frown is heartbreaking and you easily kiss it away. Making your kisses more eager. You’re a good kisser and a good actor. Your kisses make Jungkook feel all fluttery and hot in the chest, quickly forgetting about the dildo and whatever plans he might have had.
"Just want you- don't want-" words get in the way of kissing, sucking, you mouth at Jungkook's lower lip, making him groan.
Jungkook’s scent gland is a semi-swollen little lump under your teeth as you nibble on it, making him part his legs, grinding up into nothing and letting out a breathless whine. You set yourself across his lap and his big hands quickly fist on your waist pulling you snugly.
You don’t mind this, you really don’t.
It's too routine for you, the first thing that you reach for to avoid saying no. His belt buckle is warm against your palm as you shift so that you can slide to the floor. Pulling your body away from him. he lets out a needy bereft sound. stopping you as you start to tugg at his waistband.
his cheeks are pink, lips red from kisses when you pull back. "I-"
"Let me kiss you here Koo." Let me at least do something. Let me stop feeling so guilty, I know how to fix the guilt even if you don't.
Jungkook catches your chin before you sink to the floor. Jungkook has a hickey on his abs glimmering there just along his hipline. The crop top pulled up to right under his pectorals in a way you know would have the alphas growling and mouthing at his stomach. That's probably how he got the hickey in the first place.
“But you don’t like it.” He says, not quite understanding. Catching your hand as you slide it across his knee.
“I want to try.” You lie, "I-I feel like I’ve lost practice, need to be taught how-” You bat your eyes, looking down and away like you're embarrassed. Just let me do this and make you cum. Just let me get this over with so that we can go back to cuddling and I can feel safer. Jungkook always gets especially cuddly after he's cum too. “I don’t- I don’t do it for the alphas like at all." Your stuttering isn't all faked. You’ve lost practice in a lot of things, but lying clearly isn’t one of them.
“Or Yoongi” Jungkook notes. A little too quickly.
Your heart pulses, Bruised a bit at that. You've never explicitly discussed the abuse you underwent with anyone but Yoongi and Namjoon. You didn't think anyone really noticed how much you don't like giving blowjobs. It's not that you don't want to reciprocate or touch- it's just that once with Geumjae, the choice to reciprocate was taken away from you. The choice to get anything at all was always taken away. It's hard to forget that, to want it again.
You remember his words. He'd always been violent with words before he'd ever gotten violent physically with you. Coercion doesn't feel like it has the same weight compared to that (Hobi would probably argue with you- but his case was different wasn't it?)
"You're so fucking selfish, you could help me in like- 10 minutes but you're choosing not too. We could go back to having a normal fucking evening. I do so much for you and even now when I can't fucking sleep you won't just do this one fucking thing- it's not like I'm asking for much. You're too young, I should have known you wouldn't know how normal relationships function."
It's foolish of you to think that you could be selfish forever. You should get used to this with Jungkook so that it's not so bad with the others later. In case they ever realize how selfish you've been.
“Yeah,” you swallow back a lump in your throat. “But can I? I want to-” You make your eyes wide, biting your tongue hard so that your scent doesn’t go sour.
Jungkook looks like he’s warring with himself for a second but then the hornyness wins out. He pulls his pants down his thighs and you help him, big and muscular as he stands, you on the floor before him. It feels right in a twisted way. See I know my place, see I'm not trying to get away with anything.
Jungkook almost trips when he moves to get a pillow for your knees because he’s not a monster. Namjoon and Jin have taught him well.
Jungkook is not a monster.
If you said no, if you said that you wanted to stop you know he wouldn’t hold it against you. At least not at first, at least not this time. After the 4th or 5th or 10th attempt you know that wouldn't be the case.
Jungkook doesn't even have large enough of a cock for it to feel like a real blowjob. His bunny eyes are wide and eager as you give it a first little kiss. Tentative. You kiss the head again, focusing, dragging your lips up the sides and nuzzling into the skin of his hip, indulging in his scent because at least Jungkook smells nice, smells clean, before you take him into your mouth
Geumjae always smelled a bit like piss. Tasted like it too. At least Jungkook's not like that.
He can be forgiven maybe, for not noticing right away. For not asking if you want this twice. A muted curse falls from his lips instead and he carefully cradles your head. A little startled.
"Fuck- ah-" The muscles of his abdomen tense beneath your touch, startled by the sudden influx of pleasure and the wet tight hot heat of your mouth. "I don't think you need any practice- fuck-"
Omega cock tastes less bitter than alpha cock does. And Jungkook’s dick is honestly so small you can’t even choke on it properly. He doesn’t hit the back of your throat when he rocks it into your mouth. Eking pleasure from the tight seam of your lips.
He doesn’t even hit the back of your throat or engage your gag reflex. So, you wonder why your eyes start watering. One of his hands fists (albeit a little bit too sloppy to be totally gentle) in your hair, using it to keep you stationary while he fucks your mouth. Little rolls of his hips that end in cute, "ah-ah-ah" sounds leaving his lips.
Good, you're doing good. Your nose is buried in his skin. With the little tuft of hair there, Jungkook must have showered at the gym because it doesn't smell like anything. Just breathe.
You know Jungkook doesn't get stimulation to his cock often. The others much prefer to fuck his hole rather than pay attention to it and that works in your favor now because Jungkook's so sensitive. You feel his cock jerk a little, tensing as his abdomen does, flexing up against the pallet of your mouth. Especially when your tongue teases at the head. Finding the ridge of his frenulum and pressing up.
Your lungs sting but you keep your tongue flat, lapping up at the underside, keeping your mouth wet and messy and not swallowing yet. Jungkook's precum tastes a little salty, not as salty as alpha cum would taste like but still not bad. Just a little bit like sweat and a little bit like honey.
Jungkook looks down at you, sweaty hair sticking to his forehead his lips falling slack in pleasure. Hips twitching up, looking debauched and lovely from it already. Pride swells, even as you have to fight back the urge to gag. Quieting the revulsion in your stomach through force of will alone.
You can do this, you don't have to make a big deal over it-
Jungkook tips his head back, closing his eyes, and you're free to shudder unwatched. "Fuck- just like that- you're so good at it, fuck-" You wonder if you get this same wide-eyed subspace look when you’re sad if that’s why he doesn't notice. Your knees burn, hands tighten. One on his hips the other digging into your thigh.
You hear someone outside in the hall and before you have the chance to even think about pulling off they're opening the door. Jimin almost trips, Clearly not expecting to see you on your knees or Jungkook with his legs splayed and shirt rucked up to show his tummy.
You pop off Jungkook’s cock easily, jaw aching already (you really are out of practice) Jimin’s look is all predatory, alpha pheromones bubbling up. One second startled, the next prowling in your direction like a jungle cat.
“Ah pups, getting into trouble? Pups having a treat?”
Jungkook giggles, spreading his knees wider, fingers stroking down your cheek as you catch your breath. Wiping the spit from your lips. “We’re not done yet,” he huffs. You blink up at Jimin and the touch he drops on your head is everything. Soothing your frantic panting. You push up into it, eager for a casually loving touch.
"Wanna make some trouble with us?"
“maybe, think i'd much rather watch" He teases, jutting his chin at Jungkook and settling down next to him, leaning on his chin to watch you as you're urged back to it. You kiss Jungkook's cock again as the alpha guides him into a kiss. Settling his happy-turned-on pheromones into a thick bubble that bursts.
You lap at Jungkook’s cock head, making it messy. Watching the two of them get distracted by kissing, licking into each other’s mouths. Jungkook's hand falls from your hair in favor of cupping Jimin's thigh.
And you below them, an afterthought.
You ignore the longing in your chest and go back to sucking Jungkook off. After a minute or two, Jimin's hand returns to your head, his knuckles rub against your cheek in lazy circles.
It would feel loving any other time but not right now. Not when you're trying to ignore the voice that whispers in the back of your mind that this is all you're good for. On your knees, mouth open. Finally useful. Finally worth the bother of loving. A voice that doesn’t come from any of them but sounds suspiciously like Geumjae's occupying your thoughts.
Jimin's hands are on your head too, rubbing against your cheek. Wiping away a little bit of spit on the corner of your lips. He clearly thinks you're deep in omegaspace. Interpreting your quiet softness for that sweetness and not this devastation. there is always a moment of quiet before a disaster, an intake of breath where everyone braces for impact.
“My good little princess, making your packmate happy, look at you pup,” Jimin croons. Clearly enjoying the pretty picture that you and Jungkook paint.
If anything, it's hearing that old pet name that makes you break. You're fine until you're not.
You're just so tired.
There is wetness on your face and it’s not spit or slobber or cum just tears. Little sniffles. your first one goes un-noticed by them, but not the second or the third. Jungkook freezes. And suddenly the fingers on your cheeks aren’t pulling you closer to Jungkook’s hips but off. Tilting your face. Jimin's hands quickly push Jungkooks away.
Jimin has stoney eyes, his mouth hard and discerning, lips parting. “Pup?” Jungkook’s already got his hand on your arm bunny eyes the soft opposite to Jimin’s. Jimin effortlessly transfers you from the floor to the couch. "Oh pup."
You wipe at your tears stubbornly. “Just one second, just give me a second and then I can keep going I promise, I’m fine- I’m fine” you keep repeating it, keep saying it but you smell so sour-sad. Your pout wobbles hot tears welling up threatening to spill over renewed.
But in what world would they ever let you cry during sex without pre-negotiating? In what world would they let you cry without comforting you?
“I don’t even know why I’m crying but I can't stop-”
No sooner have the words slipped past your lips are they pulling you up from the floor and into their laps, manhandled and small. You fight it a little. but Jimin crushes you to his chest and you sag. t
Jungkook has never gotten less turned on quicker, a packmate's distress takes so much precedence over this. Pulling up his pants. His pleasure isn't even a thought in the back of his mind. You take precedent.
Jungkook thought you knew that.
He feels helpless, helpless as you scrub angrily at your mouth, he uses his sweatshirt sleeve to wipe the saliva and spit from your mouth, then your tears from your cheeks. "Oh fuck- I'm so sorry- fuck I-"
And oh, you're crying into Jimin's chest now, real tears. Sobbing harder.
Jimin glances up and for a second he looks a little angry. He has every right to be angry at Jungkook for this. He's barely been here for like, a minute and a half. But the anger isn't welcome, you're too close to Jimin's scent gland, flinching when he starts to smell sour. Pulling back, so so so terrified, quivering in his lap.
"I'm sorry alpha, just give me a second and I'll get to you too-"
Now Jimin's angry for a whole new reason, angry at people he can't punish, people who are already dead. Jimin feels his anger in his hands. Struggling to stay gentle on you.
Oh fuck that.
Jimin’s fingers pinch at the back of your neck, scruffing you until your scent mellows out a little. "None of that now." He snaps, sharp shifting from concerned packmate to commanding dom effortlessly. "You'll do no such thing. You're going to stay right here until I tell you I'm done holding you."
Jimin's firmness is exactly what you need. You feel his power in his arms, crushing you, restraining you. Jungkook is not a dom, and that has never been clearer than right now. if he was than you would have never gotten into this predicament. "Can't you be good and do what Alpha asks?"
"Yes Alpha" you sob.
Jungkook looks at you guilty, eyes swimming with tears too. He's always been a sympathetic crier but he doesn’t let them spill. Even if Jimin spies them. His lower lip wobbles as he looks at you. Reaching out to hold you too and then snatching his hands back at the last second. If Jimin's touch is your remedy then Jungkook's is surely poison. “Why didn’t you-”
“I just- I just didn’t want to be bad.” You know what they’re about to say, that saying no wouldn’t have been bad but your brain is all terrified of it.
“M’sorry” Jungkook wants to say that there’s nothing you’ve got to apologize for that it’s him that should, but it’s difficult. It’s so difficult when you’re crying so hard it kinda feels like you might pass out. hyperventilating a little. He can do little more than loop his arms around Jimin's waist and trap you between the two of them, sandwiching you. Applying pressure. Holding you tight. In a way that has you instantly plummeting. Down past subspace, past omegaspace, where everything is dark and bland and nothing. Where you're nothing.
“M’sorry Koo-” He doesn’t trust his wobbly voice to speak as you sob out, “Don’t tell them, don’t tell Namjoon and Jin or Yoongi please- don't want them to worry. It’s not Koo's fault it's mine. I’m fine. m' just feeling off. I’ll be better alpha I promise.”
Luckily there is no one home. No one is home to hear any of this. Jimin has always been perilously unable to deny his girls their silly wishes. And if the idea of Namjoon or Jin knowing has you panicking anew then Jimin will take this secret to the grave.
Jimin soothes you with a happy alpha rumble, feeling exactly the opposite- wishing there was Namjoon or Jin to call for backup. This is clearly not normal crying. Jungkook surely couldn't have put you into subspace but somehow you're dropping. Leaning in to every word that graces Jimin's lips like you need the absolution he brings.
“But you’re already so good for us pup- already so good for saying no even though it was hard. Here. Lie out so we can hold you. Here.” It's what you wanted from the beginning someone close by enough to touch enough to cuddle.
Only this time it feels even less like you deserve it.
You make yourself as small as you can. Jungkook and Jimin alternate, kissing off your cheeks. Until you stop crying and fall asleep. Crying yourself back to sleep. You really were just sleep-deprived.
Jimin's got one arm around your waist, another cradling the back of your head. And only once he's absolutely sure that you are completely asleep does he hiss over the top of your head.
"Jungkook What the hell-"
"I asked, you know I asked. She said she was okay I swear-"
A whispered argument ensues, drawn out until the others come home. Their anger quieting at the sound of them, Yoongi softly calls your name. Mindful of the fact you could be sleeping.
When you wake up around dinner time you're non-verbal and pupish. There are too many people around for Jungkook to be able to pull you to the side and ask, to just talk this out. He watches you close at dinner, watches and waits for a chance to talk to you that won't come. You'll pretend you're asleep tomorrow when he wakes, just to avoid it for a little while longer.
If the others notice anything strange with you at dinner time no one broaches it. Of course, you don't speak at all. Answering their questions with shaken heads and careful nuzzles under Tae’s chin where you sit side by side with her. Your chairs pulled together so that they’re more of a bench. She smells so good- so Rosey that you press your face into her shoulder to avoid the other's eyes.
Never mind the fact that you don't smell like anything at all. Maybe you're dissociating too bad to smell like anything. So disconnected from your emotions that you can't feel them let alone smell like them.
After dinner you take an extra long in the shower so that by the time you exit the bathroom Jin has already scruffed Jungkook sleepy. He looks cute too. Pouting in his sleep, restless.
There's an extra soft nesting space carved out just beside him that he made special for you with a few pillows and his favorite nesting things. It will go unused.
That night, you don't bother trying to sleep.
~-~
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Upstairs floor plan:
Chapter playlist:
Noah Kahan - Call your mom
Coldplay - Sparks
nick cave and the bad seeds - O' children
Pine Grove- Need too
💜💜💜
Before I Leave You (Pt.63)
(Omegaverse au, Mafia au, Bts x Reader)
Summary: you never thought that just cuddling with Hobi on a cold day could lead to this; his pants off and you begging "Daisy please-"
Tags: fluff, a little hurt but mostly just comfort, first times, soft cuddle sex, unintentional mutual somnophilia, knotting, scenting, under clarified limits, a touch of slick kink, breeding kink, a touch of size kink (you know the good stuff), unrealistic amounts of cum, implied belly bulge, implied feral sex, small triggers after sex, small references to past abusive relationships, hole check's, knot checks, dom/sub undertones to later scenes but not in the main smut,
W/c: 14.2k
A/n: thank you guys for being patient for this next chapter :) it's one of my favorites so please give it lots of love! i know we've all been waiting for hobi's confession and the completion of their arc, did i do it justice? Also i'm sorry that i have a pathological need to end every single chapter with a cliffhanger lol, this one is no different!
Previous part ~ Masterlist
(5 years ago. Before Yoongi. Before everyone.)
Jung Hoseok cleans his arms in a bathroom. He is 21 years old, there is lipstick on his fingers, and nothing bad has happened to him yet.
Bad is all relative of course. Some would call growing up in a rich area while living in a one-bedroom apartment bad. Some people would call not really knowing your parents because they work late nights bad. Some would even say that the fact that they won’t pay for Hoseok’s college education a fucking tragedy.
But between you and me and Hoseok; other people wouldn't know a fucking tragedy if it hit them in the fucking face. Talking to some people about your suffering is like trying to make a toddler shoot the broad side of a god damn barn with a double barrel shotgun. Or like those little lemon slices they put in the water at olive garden-
It's fucking useless. And you're more likely to be sent to the hospital than get some actual fucking results. Weather it's because of food poisoning, a bullet wound, or because some idiot you trusted thinks you're a god damn suicide risk.
See right? Talking about your problems is fucking useless.
But he’s always been able to focus on the brighter side of things. It's a blessing and a curse because optimism always lies to you. It's easier to be happy than it is to be upset, at least for Hoseok at this moment.
At least he was an optimist until they ruined him a little. After this year, finding the silver will take effort.
The tiles beneath his feet are cold to the touch. He knows that there’s a button somewhere to turn on the heated flooring but he just can’t find it. Hidden and unfamiliar as he is with this den. So different from his own little dormitory halfway across the city.
This fancy three-bedroom apartment is one that he will move into in precisely 4 months once they make it official, he’ll live here for exactly 2 years 3 months, and 8 days before being kicked out and moving into the pack's den. It’s exactly 2 years to the date that he meets Min Yoongi in the record store.
But nothing bad has happened to him yet. Today he is just himself, No idea of what's about to befall him and that It won't just be bad.
This apartment is upscale, with its wainscotting and long gauzy curtains that barely keep out the sound of the city streets 5 stories below and the lightly warm June morning. He’s not quite sure who pays for this one yet. Hasn’t had the chance to ask, he's only been seeing this pack for 2 months. This Hoseok is shyer than the one you know. Timid and unsure of where he should place his dulled claws.
It's all awfully mysterious. The question of "What do your parents do?" and the answer pressed to a raised finger. The truth lingering between lipstick and manicure on a single giggled breath.
"That's a secret"
He casts a glance around the bathroom, the marble counters, the plush hand towels, and even the designer soap is forghein to him.
Rich people.
It's one part tired jealousy and one part true distaste. Even if Hoseok had all the money in the world he wouldn't waste it on painting a bathroom white or powdery Dior soap. Why not blue or orange or green or pink?
(Oh Hobi. The pack’s bathroom will be green one day, with delicate tiles in the shade of the lightest moss. Not yellow-toned and not blue. he's going to help yoongi pick it out, He just doesn’t know it yet).
Their apartment is just a few blocks from the college that he attends, a freshman but not for much longer. A freshman, along with the pack's youngest. Her on the business track and him in a weed-out art department. The prerequisite humanities course is their shared battleground.
Out of everything in this story, this is the only true coincidence.
This version of Hoseok likes omegas with a bit of a dark side. The ones that are a bit bitchy, a bit entitled and alot pretty. The ones that hone their eyeliner to a vicious edge, or the male ones that act a little bit more like alphas and disobey gender norms. That’s what drew his eye to this pack's youngest in their hum 1 class.
He got a little melty when her eyes turned less “I’ll kill you if you even sniff in my direction” and more “A pretty alpha like you has to have a pack right?”
Hoseok had stuttered when he’d said that No- he didn’t.
Before long he’ll drop out because he just can’t cut it at art school. Just can’t spend nights with fingers black from charcoal, working on things that will one day be thrown in the garbage because he’ll have a pack to attend to. Good alpha that he is.
(It will be years before he realizes that it wasn't art school just mediums. He’s meant to use flowers to make things instead.)
They’re not his pack yet, not yet. not yet. Not Yet- But there is a gift waiting for him downstairs. A fancy set of pastels and paints. It’s the start of courting even though he’s supposed to be the one buying them gifts. He’s the penniless college student they’re the ones with the nice apartment. He’s the one with the knot, and they’re all omegas. It’s a give-and-take.
Yet somehow even though he’ll be the only alpha he knows he won’t be the pack alpha.
He cleans the lipstick from his fingers. Bright red. He knows he has it in other places too, down below the tugged low hemline of his pants pulled on after they were done fucking.
The last thing he wants to be is like the other alphas in the fraternities on campus, the ones that holler at all the omegas shit like “I can taste your slick from here baby,” and “want to study anatomy together? I’m a hands-on learner” Hobi dreads the idea that he might be like that. Even a little bit. Even unintentionally.
But still, their words from earlier ring in his ears.
“They haven’t been dating for that long, you can’t expect us to be comfortable all the time with you in our nest, it's a really intimate thing for us."
Hobi feels like one of those phraternity alphas when it makes him uncomfortable.
It’s reasonable that they wanted to give his knot a ride and try him out before they make it official. One alpha and four omegas, these odds are every alpha’s wet dream. He knows his performance was Oscar-worthy.
It had been nice to be in a nest for just a little bit, Hoseok’s biology wants it, the tense knot between his shoulders all loose.
Hoseok has never been loved by someone who wanted to talk to him every day, it will be easy for them to reduce his focus to their beck and call.
There's 4 different colors of lipstick on his cock. Four different shades from four different women. His new packmates get to the carrot part of the carrot and stick arrangement.
In the future, he’ll deny that he ever thought of any of these women as that- as packmates. He'll say it was only ever Namjoon’s pack that he wanted in this way. He’ll say it never compared and it didn’t. Except for these first few months. These first few days.
Memories lie to us all the time; memory is the best secret keeper.
He watches one of his packmates sit on the edge of the nest, she wears the lipstick prints better than he does. Lining the inside of her thighs, her own lips smudged.
Hoseok doesn’t let the smile fall from his lips and she smiles back. She tugs her long hair free of a bun that she’d put it up in so that she didn’t get slick in it. It will be a few more months until she cuts it above her collarbones. Blunt to a brutal edge.
Hoseok’s sweatshirt is on the edge of the nest, and Hoseok watches as she brings it to her nose, breathing in deep. Hoseok is just about to say that she can wear it when she throws it onto a nearby ottoman. Not onto the floor thankfully. No omega has ever worn his sweatshirt before. Hoseok tries not to let the rejection of his scent sting.
She looks at the lipstick on Hoseok, there’s a bit on his lip. “Come here.” She asks, parting her legs.
Hoseok is a good alpha and goes.
~-~
(Now, You and Hobi)
When Hobi wakes it's because the pack is moving around the room, bickering, and struggling to be quiet, bickering a little.
Their low hum drum voices as they talk about “Jungkookie? where did you put my mittens?” and ”I sort of love that you still wear mittens, babe.” Yoongi’s deep rumble, “Did Jimin buy those for you too?” All teasing and understanding. Because if anyone knows how Tae likes to be teased, Yoongi does.
Tae’s fond little croon is so melodic it makes Hobi sigh, ears straining to hear more of it. “Yes, he did. Got pup matching ones too.”
Pup. that’s you. Curled in the center of the nest under Hobi's elbows. dozing but unable to lift your head from where it's pillowed. You’re sure that Yoongi knows you’re kind of awake or at least listening in because Yoongi knows everything.
You’re sure that as he looks down at you and Hobi tangled together, he’s doing it with a smirk. You don’t need to open your eyes and double-check.
The temperature of the nest is balmy, overly warm in the way that it gets when it’s cold outside and the nesting is hitting so particularly good that Hobi won’t even think of moving. (The way it feels when you come out of the cold and into the waiting arms of someone you love) Hobi nuzzles into the warmth in front of him.
A small storm brews outside. The snow has been falling since midday. Just a little here and there. But Tae loves how it looks with all the Christmas lights. There aren’t quite enough up yet but the holiday season is close.
But the snow won't last, soon it won’t be falling at all. It will all melt off by tonight, the afternoon is supposed to be sunny. Can sun showers happen with snow?
"Do you think we could walk all the way to the gym, it's not all that far! only like 10 miles. We could run it in like an hour!"
He listens to the others talk. The sound of Yoongi’s voice, gravely and vaguely upset. “Jungkook, you’re not really thinking about going to work out right now- You’ve barely been home for like 5 hours. I just said we could go do something not run 10 fucking miles.”
Jungkook always gets this way; when the dizziness of the seizures turns to restlessness and he's honestly fine but the others can't resist trying to baby him. Too awake to sleep anymore. He sounds grumpy, whiney, and pouty even though Hobi's eyes aren't open to see him turn his puppy eyes on Yoongi. “I’m never going to be able to sleep tonight if I don’t hyung- I’m gonna go crazy.”
There’s the faint sound of lips meeting and smacking. Kisses that are probably meant to soothe Jungkook. “How about we compromise pup.”
“A walk?” Tae offers, sounding hopeful.
“A long walk.”
You shift a little and Hoseok opens his eyes. You're mostly still asleep just settling, making yourself more comfortable with the new space no longer corralled by arms and bodies.
Hobi’s mouth is dry when he watches you shift onto your stomach your face half-smushed into the cushions, scenting them a little in your sleep. The homey scent fizzle in Hoseok’s bones tells him that you've scented him too. Being surrounded by the pack's scent like this makes Hobi’s skin feel like pop rocks. Like his bones are mentos and coca cola. All sensitive and tingly.
He’s cuddled with you before- through your nightmares and last night at the hospital of course- but it’s never been just the two of you in a nest. He’s never been the only alpha here, charged with guarding the pillows and blankets and you curled soft in the center.
Hobi tentatively puts an arm around your waist, tugging you a little closer. The house still hasn't totally warmed up yet and you'd be cold without some body heat. He does it slowly, seeing if you’ll wake.
There is a hand in his hair, petting softly, and he snatches his arm from around your waist the second Hoseok realizes he's being watched. Yoongi leans over the edge of the couch-turned-nest, smirking a little. The door shuts behind Tae and Jungkook with a puff of cold air, and he raises his eyebrows expectantly.
He would look intimidating if his beanie didn't have cat ears.
The pads of Yoongi's fingers rub soothing circles under Hobi's jaw and his lips part unintentionally. “Be good yeah?” he says, whisper soft. Hoseok just nods, too sleepy to verbally respond.
They haven’t talked much about Hobi’s confession; that night on the beach what feels like ages ago. But everytime he thinks of it Hobi still tastes salt on his tongue and your name on his lips.
Yoongi’s wearing the same look now that he did then; half hopeful and half worried. But if there was anyone that would object on your behalf, if Hobi wasn't allowed this closeness with you, Yoongi would tell him.
Yoongi doesn't say that you and him aren't ready for cuddling like this. Yoongi doesn't say that Hoseok should give you space or not cradle you to his chest like you are something as fragile and necessary and as doomed as his beating heart. Trembling and stuttering with the force of sweet expectations and hopes made hollow with satisfaction.
Yoongi does not realize that Hoseok's heart has not had a steady beat since he woke up holding you.
Yoongi doesn't say anything. Yoongi just drags a single knuckle down his cheek and leaves. Heading out after Tae and Jungkook who are, judging from the hallow sound of snow hitting the windows- are having a snowball fight.
“If one of those hits me I’m not holding anyone’s hand for the whole walk-“
The door keeps out the sound of Tae's sweet giggles and Jungkook’s pouted, "just one hyung- I won't hit your face-"
And the two of you are alone. Wrapped up warm, quiet and hushed, just the two of you.
Well, except for Noodle.
The meticulously kept edge of the nest is all fluffed, Noodle makes sure of it. Small paws depressing the blanket as he kneads it and then settles on the edge. His purr is audible from here as he blinks slowly from the bottom of the couch turned nest. Jin wrangled him for a brushing yesterday morning and his coat still looks extra fluffy and kempt.
Unwatched and unjudged, Hobi tentatively reaches to cradle your ribs again. Thumb smoothing down the center of your stomach, a little close to your belly button. You’ve got a little hair there. Hobi’s fingers like the feel of it. Not rough but not silky.
Your skin feels like champagne bubbles and sparklers, everywhere he touches your skin goes fizzy. Hobi looks down at you, breath hitching, and thinks Is it really so horrible to want this? Why am I so afraid of this?
You wiggle a little closer in your sleep and Hobi’s arm goes vicelike.
Noodle's purr goes a little louder.
Hobi doesn’t like to think about his last pack ever, but he recognizes that hollow ache and tug that says memories aren’t too far behind. And it threatens to swallow him until he looks down at you. The house is quiet but your eyebrows are puffed up like something very shocking is happening in your dreams. He doesn't want to think about them right now.
He drags his nose across your hairline; scenting you. Tasting your emotions on his tongue. Comfort. Ease. Arousal-sweet. Not all that abnormal. Not nightmares then. He is always on the lookout for them. After Jungkook and the hospital, he sort of thought they might come back.
Hoseok counts his stars and snowflakes, and rests his forehead against the nape of your neck.
Over the next hour, you’re restless. Moving, worming your way closer to him as he goes in and out of sleep. You make a soft noise and he shushes you. a growl that says to stay put and alpha's here.
You blink slowly up at him. Hobi pulls back, taking his arm from around your waist, feeling like he’s just stolen candy from a jar on the counter that’s for him anyway. You stretch and don't comment on it, yawning.
Noodle hops closer, squirming between the two of you and stepping over your shoulders. Meowing right in Hoseok’s face. “Alright alright, I’ll feed you again.”
You snuggle into the warm hallow he left on the couch when he detangles himself, hand under your cheek watching him as he stumbles out of the nest. Noodle follows tail held high. It's truly horrible. Leaving the nest when every bit of Hobi's body wants him to stay in the warmth. The house is always so slow to warm up.
“Fuck the floors are cold.”
“Quick,” you say, face above the edge of the cover. Hoseok rushes, doling out a single scoop of dry food and then running back to you. Hobi wastes precious seconds to grab his headphones from the kitchen table before collapsing onto the couch where you hold the blanket up, sealing the warmth and him back inside. The headphones tangle between the two of you and he falls with a giggle. Disappearing among the white blanket. He sinks thankfully into the warmth, into the safety that the nest offers. Into you.
Your warm arms wrap around his shoulders and his body shivers delightfully in a way that has nothing to do with the cold. Your jaw pops when you yawn and then he yawns too, a breath later. You laugh too and tuck your face into his shoulder.
“Fuck- it’s so cozy.”
It really is, the kind of cozy that only comes along a few times a year. A quiet to your bones that says there is nothing to do now but rest. The coldness that turns your bodies into these molten-loving things. Your warmth and Hoseok’s warmth. One warmth.
He breathes, deep and heavy.
“I don’t know if I want to get up yet.” The house is still quiet. Nothing but Noodles happy munching sounds and the faint scratch of big snowflakes hitting the windows.
Hobi’s heart beats frantic against yours and you sigh. “Wanna listen to some music?” He offers. Hobi always loves a backtrack, a little compliment for the exposition.
You nod, a little sleepy, but Hobi has a playlist for that. He’s got a playlist for everything including ’sleepy cozy pup time’. The headphones take a second to locate, lost in the nest. But when he does you share them. One earphone a piece, the sound turned low so you can still talk.
Hobi puts on a love song, and it makes you smell all sweet. Stretched out with your hair tangling because you’ve left it unbound, the split ends prodding at Hobi’s cheeks. He doesn’t really listen to the song, just watches you. Eyes closed humming softly.
Your scent sours and Hoseok's hand goes tight on your wrist. You tell him what's bothering you without him even having to ask.
“I saw this line the other day that didn't like." You look at the ceiling, not at him. "it said a love song is really good if you can’t tell whether they’re talking about another person or if they’re talking about god.”
You think about Jimin and Tae. You've been thinking about it since Tae talked about their childhood earlier and the bloody cross between the two of them. If holiness does exist, it’s in Tae. If there is anything like religion for you or Jimin, it's love. God has nothing to do with it. God's not the person who makes love songs sound good.
Hobi turns on his side, leaning on his elbow. “I’m not sure Jimin would agree with that either.”
You turn in time to see Hobi’s smile. It catches the sunlight, lingering right on his cheek. An octagonal shaft of sunlight that has traveled millions of miles to get there could not have found a more beautiful place to fall. He huffs a quiet laugh again, and you swear you might hear the highest note of a piano somewhere.
You wonder when he became so musical to you, maybe it’s just because he’s the person who made you love music so much.
(You can tell a love song is good, when it makes you think of Hobi).
“You’re still worried about him, aren’t you?” You rest your lips against his shoulder and Hobi’s body doesn’t move an inch. They’re soft where they lie not a kiss but not not a kiss either. You can rest your lips against his skin, you can rest your whole body and Hoseok wouldn't move an inch.
“Always worried, got to worry about Minnie. Always worried about everyone.” You mumble. Eyes closing.
The light comes through the windows all honey yellow, turning the bookshelves that Yoongi made gold instead of white. Turns the tops of Hobi’s hair a little red too, the brown has endless depths in the sunlight all burnt umber and Sienna where the sun hits, yellow ocher at the tips. The sunlight savors falling on Hobi, down to the last inch.
You try to keep your eyes open, struggling, and Hobi sets a hand on the top of your head, ruffling your hair lightly.
"Go back to sleep pup."
You hum, already half there. He pulls you a little on top of him, holding you with a firmness usually reserved for too-large packages and the tenderness reserved for very fragile very precious things. It makes your whole body feel tingly at the edges.
“Thanks for not leaving the nest when everyone else did,” you think he might be asleep for how long it takes him to answer. But everything in the last 24 hours has left you feeling like you don’t want to be alone, that you can’t be left by yourself. He breathes up and it presses against your stomach.
“Didn’t want to go with the others- just wanted to stay here in the nest with you.” nesting is a biological need for alphas as much as it is for omegas, Hobi hasn't felt so relaxed in ages.
He murmurs, hand still skimming through your hair. His thumb rolling against the nape of your neck and you shiver hard into the touch, sinking further into him. “Is that okay?”
Your hand finds a spot under his arm and you use it to tug yourself closer, getting your forehead against his shoulder, the headphones slipping from your ear.
“Yeah. It’s always okay.”
Hobi tucks your hair behind your ear and puts the headphones back in.
The next time you wake it’s because Noodle is licking at your forehead, grooming you, and you hear the shutter sound of Hobi’s camera, his small giggle. You swat at noodles face and he bats at you a little before settling on the small of your back, fighting Hobi for necessary real-estate and howling when he gets pushed off.
“Nu, be quiet,” Hobi’s hushed words are answered with an equally quiet meow that sends you straight off to dreamland again.
You don't know how long it's been, it could have been hours or minutes the next time you wake. You just know that Hobi smells good, smells musky sweet caramel all drippy and heady, that you've got your nose pressed up against his scent gland. All surrounded by it. Surrounded by him.
The next time you wake is not so innocent.
You’re a little too close. Cuddling with Hobi in a way that you might with Yoongi- with Namjoon or Jungkook. All warm snug hot. Bodies and dreams tangled so thoroughly that it's hard to tell where dreamy wants begin and fragile delights end.
You’re warm at your front from Hobi and warm on your back from the sunshine streaming through the window. Warm all the way through. Until he moves his hand and you realize that’s from him too. His fingers splayed over your spine.
You think you can be forgiven for confusing them. Hoseok and sunlight are one and the same.
The apex of your thigh is pressed tight to his hip just where his thigh starts. Your leg hitched over his hip and tight to it. The fabric of his sweatpants and the fabric of your pajama shorts are all bunched up from your movements. Your knee bent at a comfortable angle. His scent is heady in your nose, pressed to the low tugged collar of his shirt just over his heart.
As close as you can be but still not enough.
You don't even realize your hips are moving, sleepily grinding against his thigh until it's too late.
Hobi grabs your hips and groans.
You stop mid-movement, thoughts sloshing sleepy. And oh, you were moving, weren’t you? There is a dampness between your thighs and the scent of slick and arousal sharp in the air. That comfortable pleasure hiccup in your throat that says you want to cum and can. could like this.
You jerk back from the warmth in front of you, startled into wakefulness as you realize exactly you were just doing.
Oh no- you didn’t mean- Hobi. Alpha, warm and comfortable at your front.
You start to back up, still half asleep, but terror and embarrassment flood you like the ocean floods the sea rocks at high tide.
Hobi groans, a deep near growl sound, and moves before you can back up even an inch. he was just as asleep as you just were until you pulled away. His sleepy brain still clings to you.
His hands slip lower, holding you tight against his front. His sleepy alpha brain is malfunctioning. Sweet omega needs to stay close. The source of his warmth and the friction against his front cannot slip away.
His hands are on your ass and your pussy is pressed flushed to his hip, and Hobi-
Hobi is your best friend, Hobi is your packmate and Hobi has to be unaware of what he’s doing. You’re sure of it. You try to pull away again from him fighting back more embarrassment than you've ever felt in your entire life, hands pressed to his chest.
But He pulls you right back to him.
Right into a unmistakable hardness poking at your stomach. Hard and warm. Right where you were grinding in your sleep.
Hoseok’s heavy breath brushes your ear.
Instincts are incredibly hard to describe. The way they hook into your consciousness and separate reason from action and want from logic. The part of you that’s in control, that recognizes that you and Hobi shouldn’t be this close like this if it’s not talked about, is so distant.
A needy sound echoes that might be from you, that is from you, as Hobi’s hands slide up your hips and under his sweatshirt. Cold hands on your warm hips and oh-
Hobi’s eyes are cracked open, looking down at you, watching you with pink cheeks. Tongue darting out to lick at his lip. “S’okey you just-" his eyes flutter closed again; breath warm against your face. "You take what you need.”
It’s only a testament to the pack's care that you associate these things with each other. Safety and coziness are just so close to pleasure and comfort. Your sleepy body associates this kind of nesting with sex. it's only natural that you'd get a little needy while inside of it.
You can get needy, Hobi doesn't mind.
Before either of you can say if you really should, if this is really a good thing to do without talking about it first. Hobi’s hands are on your waist, pulling you back snug, his hard thigh between your legs.
If you were more awake, you’d think better of it, you’d think so much but there is only that sweet pressure. The drag, the wetness, the soft little huffs of breath that he shushes when he lets you take what you need. Helps you with his hands on your hips and guides you back into rocking against his thigh.
You feel it all the way down to your toes when his hands slide down to the curve of your ass then back up again, underneath the hem of your shorts and then your sweatshirt- his too (all of you his). Rucked up to your ribs.
“Soft.” Hobi groans.
This must not be real. This has to be a dream. Because Hobi doesn't want to touch you like this, Hobi doesn't groan and twitch against your stomach or guide the movement of your hips with his hands into a slow grind that has you gasping against his jaw. Hobi doesn’t leave the seat of your pajama bottoms soaked with slick. Hole clenching around nothing already. Utterly boneless where you lie against his front.
There is one single moment where you look at each other, one single moment where you try to keep from going any farther. Even though you want it, even though he wants it too. If Namjoon and Jin have taught you anything they've taught you caution.
Hoseok can smell the others lingering on your skin, the spot on the top of your head where Yoongi rested his cheek. He leans down, brushing his lips over it. It’s such a tender gesture and it breaks the flood and he's tugging you up, tugging you even closer, desperation coloring his voice all sweet.
“Fuck- please.” His forehead rests against yours, “fuck I just need-“
You're not sure who moves first, who starts the kiss only that once you’re kissing him it’s hard to stop. One second you're holding back and the next you're kissing him like he's Yoongi and he's kissing you like he's starving.
Teeth clanging against each other, harsh as they nip. Kissing so good that when you pull apart for breath you're both gasping and it has nothing to do with needing air.
Hobi has such nice lips it’s no wonder that they’re heart-shaped. Made for kissing, made for the needy needy licking against the seam of his lips. He shifts turning you on your side, surging up to kiss you properly and put his weight behind it. cradling your head with one hand and your side with the other. You’re so pliant, so willing to let him kiss and take. You want him to take everything. arms around his neck.
He breaks apart, forehead resting against yours, heart beating so quick that he can feel it in his palms. Pupiles blown when he blinks. “If you take what you need, and I take what I need- Can we-“
Your hands thread hard in his hair. Tugging him back to your lips. Closer and closer. “Fuck Yes- please-“
You don’t know where the wanting comes from, why it’s raging through you like a fire. His lips move against yours frantic, you bite his lip and he jerks. Hovering over you with your back against the nest, all tingly and fizzy. Your bones feel like champagne popping, like shooting stars burning out.
Hobi’s hands shake when they touch your hips, just like yours do when you mirror him, your touches shy but just as hungry, tugging up his shirt, fingertips and nails pressing bluntly to his happy trail of fine dark hair. You can feel the way his cock jumps against your stomach and thigh when you scratch gently.
You pull back a little and sit up and it’s sacred; the way that he panics, scrambling to hold onto you. You're A little bit shy when you take off his sweatshirt, nothing underneath. hair fluffing when you get it free from the cotton.
Your bare skin and the cold room. You get goosebumps on your arms almost instantly when they cross over your bare chest. Hobi’s breath stutters in his chest, like roman candles flare and settle. Hobi takes his sweatshirt from you and sets it aside in his haste to hold you again.
He starts to tugs his pants down, getting tangled because he won't even pull back an inch from you. You kiss his throat, again and again making up for lost time. Sucking a mark there. His hands fumble with the waistband of his tied tight grey sweatpants. finding the loops and then freeze when he feels wetness. Pulling back and looking down just to make sure that that is what he thinks it is. you stop your kissing and look too.
There is a wet spot, darkening the grey material. Your slick from your grinding, the spot where you got so worked up and felt so good that you couldn't even help it. He pulls back so that the light can kiss it but yeah that's definitely from you. Evidence of how much you want this. Evidence of how much you want him.
Hoseok thinks you might have actually set his body on fire. Is about ready to start checking your fingers for matches.
You blush so hot that you think you might be burning in embarrassment. Hands between your legs, clutching at the material of the nest, so embarrassed you can't watch as Hoseok looks down at it and then up at you.
“I’m sorry I- I can’t help it- I'm always-“
Hobi’s hands smooth over the wet patch, splaying up to cradle his cock where you’ve left your mark. And he looks at you, jaw rolling and eyes dark. He doesn’t say anything. Can’t.
It’s hasty how you both move to take his pants off, and he kicks them to some forgotten corner of the nest, his boxers pulled off too, and then clings to you. You cling to each other. Kissing again. Hands knotting through his hair and tugging.
You glance down and oh- Hobi has such a pretty cock. the prettiest in the pack maybe (don't tell Tae), Flushed at the tip, hair neatly trimmed and curving up.
Your bare thighs press to his adds a whole new level to this, the skin there is sensitive and unknown. Lying thigh to thigh somehow feels more intimate than chest to chest as you lie the way lovers do, your leg, his, then yours again.
You’re damp between your legs when he touches, hands shaking. He doesn't bother to take off your shorts just tugs the soaked bit of fabric to the side. It’s been a long time since he’s touched a pussy but he knows enough to do it gently. Petting over your folds like he’s teasing a flower to bloom and opening a rose for a bouquet.
“Please” you gasp, hand vicelike around his wrist. Kissing his frantic pulse again. Hot lips and a cold nose drag down his throat. You hiccup as the pads of his fingers find your clit, shaking against him. "Please-"
But you don’t need to ask, you don’t need to beg. Whatever you need Hobi will give it to you. Your hands scratch as his back when he presses close, snaking underneath his sweatshirt. Breath heavy.
He kisses your neck and bites it when his length brushes the wetness between your thighs. Hot and honey slick. his hips press to your hips, harsh lines of his thighs pointing low that you like. There is so much about Hobi that you like; the way that he kisses, the way that he touches. oh- it’s better than you imagined.
His knuckles are glossy with your slick when he curls them against the nest, holding himself up.
Hobi bends down to skim a kiss across your neck, your collarbones, your sternum.
You laugh, your giggle high and bright. He has to pull back, not upset at all but wanting to laugh too, giggling too. “Why are you?”
Your smile means everything to him. “Your hair tickles.” It is kind of fluffy, kind of pulled everywhere from your kissing and you run your fingers through it, scratching a little around the nape of his neck, and Hobi is done playing.
He pulls back, already dripping a bit of precum, silvery and pearl like at the head of his cock, standing against his stomach. a little hidden because he's still wearing his sweatshirt. Checking because he can’t not check.
“Is this- can I- fuck are you-“
“Daisy, please-“ Oh, how that pet name unhinges him.
He won't make you wait another second for it, hands shaking as he holds your hip. Shushing your needy whimpers with a soothing alpha rumble as he guides his cock close. Giving you what you both need.
Hoseok is not as big as Namjoon or Tae or Jimin, but he’s properly thick. Not the kind of thickness that knocks the breath out of you but the kind that fits just right. Not enough to make you ache or hurt even a little. It doesn’t hurt at all when he eases in slowly.
It doesn’t hurt at all.
That might be because of how soaked you are; dripping messy underneath the warm humidity of the blanket. The visual of your glossy pussy robbed from him but unimportant as Hobi stares at your face, resting his head against your forehead. Watching your eyes dilate and eyelashes flutter. “There we go- fuck-”
It’s not worth pulling back to separate how close you are. How good it feels to press his chest to your chest, not even a single inch separating you. His kisses go gentle and messy, moving against yours in a gentle rhythm just like his hips after he gives you a second to grow used to it. Rocking just a little.
Hoseok has heard the others talk about your pussy, those moments that he tried to block out at the beginning and then started to file away once loving you got more real. But for everything he's heard from his packmates, nothing compares to the reality.
The closeness. The way your hips fit. The hot- too much- clench around him.
He understands a little maybe, fully buried in you for the first time, why they talk about it so much. Why Jungkook had slipped it into dirty talk a few times with Namjoon and why it had made him growl and cum so quick. Why Tae had teased Yoongi for hogging you.
Your pussy feels like an inside joke in all the best ways, the kind of inside jokes that always have you feeling both known and loved. You can’t remember what you used to laugh about when you were a teenager and if asked Hoseok would fail to describe why sex with you feels so full. Why it feels like highlights and golden ages, the golden hour drenching you. It’s not sex for pleasure’s sake and it's not sex for closeness's sake either- although that’s part of it.
It’s not sex at all, it's making love. With Hobi, it’s making love from the beginning.
It's not instincts and mating bond urges. It’s not one submissive giving to a dominant. It’s not about protection and safety even though that's there or because you're an omega and he's an alpha. Because he's a man and you're a woman.
It's just love, that's it.
And it doesn’t hurt at all. For either of you.
The eye contact is never ending, his warm and fucked out the more he rocks. Gentle at first and building up frantic. Hobi doesn’t fuck like the rest of the pack does either; he doesn’t speak, letting out these quiet heavy breaths and shushing your squeaks with soothing alpha grumbles. His thumb wiping away the few overwhelmed tears that slip out and a smile swallowing your hiccuping breaths.
"Fuck” he breathes, moving his hips a little faster. His stomach presses to yours damp and tacky with sweat. Hoseok’s doesn't fuck in and out all the way, hardly moving away from you at all. Just rocking in deep.
Hobi doesn’t stop hitting every spot, comfortable with these unending rocks of his hips, maddening in the way that he never stops filling you. Never pulls out even half way.
Your hands weakly clench in the blankets of the nest as he twitches right there. That sensitive spot inside of you that feels like courting ecstasy when he nudges it. It’s the same spot that Yoongi likes to tease at, the spot that only his long fingers can reach properly and Tae’s too when she’s really trying. Ghosting over it and petting at it until you’re mad with pleasure.
But Hobi doesn’t tease, Hobi just gives. rubbing against it again and again with every gentle roll of his hips.
you put your hand over your mouth to quiet your whimpers when he pulls back, sitting up just a little. Holding your waist and forcing your body further down on his cock, nudging it as deep as it can go and you sob.
Hobi grins, a little cocky, a little pleased that despite his size compared to the others you're still equally as wrecked.
“Right there yeah?” he teases, and then rocks against it again. thumbs pressing against your stomach where he cradles you. waist so tiny that they almost meet when he holds you.
Your cheeks are hot, and you have to turn and whimper into the pillow. he lets you shift so that you're belly down in the nest and he's behind you glued to your backside. lying his weight down behind you like a blanket. pressing you into the nest where you'll stay like a good pup.
Hoseok instincts are absolutely purring. omega, getting bred in such a pretty nest. Good warm soft omega.
Your hand laces with the blanket, needing something to hold onto and he kisses the back of your neck, treading your hands together as he keeps going. This new position lets him rock in even deeper, putting his weight behind it.
“If you keep going, I’m not gonna be able to-”
His breath ghosts your ear, lips dragging down the column of your throat to nip and suck gently at your scent gland, marking you there. his hand presses, holding you to the bed as he rocks harder. His barely formed knot already inside and growing, getting you closer and closer as it thickens. Keeping him right there at the spot and you on the edge. You're so wet it's making noises, soaking and dripping down his cock.
He kisses your mating mark, nipping at it, and you’re gone.
You cum, a wet gush around his knot and a broken whimper. a growl in his throat sounds loud in the empty house. It sounds like made mate happy, made omega cum for me. Hoseok's Alpha is absolutely preening watching your Legs shake, the nape of your neck sweaty, body slack and head tilting to bear your neck. both of your bodies messy from it, filthy and blushing with love.
Hobi’s not far behind, rocking another time, a third, a quiet satisfied breath into the back of your neck before his knot pops locking you together as he cums so gently. No growls or gasps, just hot spurts that fill and satisfy you. Knot popping and Locking you so close you can feel his cock pulse. So close you can feel the same heartbeat on his lips when kisses you, hurried kisses pressed to the nape of your neck that quickly go slack with sleep.
Your hand settles across your stomach, and oh- you realize why hobi wasn't bothered by how wet he got you earlier. He just keeps cuming, so much that it's leaking a little around his knot. You're not sure that Jimin or Tae or Yoongi cum this much, Namjoon definitely does- but thats kinda proportional.
he just keeps going, heat flooding you. Maybe he's only cumming so much because it's the first time, and he needs to claim you from the inside out. you're a little too dizzy to figure it out.
You feel like you might pass out. You don't know if it's squirt or cum or just sweat when he lies himself over you. cuddling closer despite the mess. Teeth at your bared throat, Sucking softly, Soothing.
instincts are kind of embarrassing at best, irrationally hot at worse. you squirm a little closer so that his knot goes deeper.
The sunlight spills across your cuddled forms, still underneath the big thick blanket. He doesn’t pull out, the knot keeping him snug tight. His hand is on your cheek, rubbing up and down your jaw. He pulls the blanket up around you. And neither of you says a word as your rapid breathing calms.
You’re not sure who falls back asleep first. Only that he wraps his arm around you and pulls you back on top of his chest, cuddled there. Knot warm and safe inside of you.
knotted together like this, you're finally finally close enough.
~-~
When Hobi wakes you’re watching him and his dick is out. Wet and slick and cold.
That would certainly cause him to be alarmed if it wasn’t for your expression; a little pale. Hands between your legs and looking at the doorway.
You just really don't want to drip cum onto the couch, like- obviously. Hobi didn't hurt you. But the brief terror at waking up uncuddled and so suddenly douses Hobi like a bucket of cold water.
The cold might be the actual reason for his sudden wakefulness. The wintry air in the room is jarring because the house is finally heating up. (as much to do with the heating system doing its job as it is with your activities earlier that turned the windows all hazy with condensation).
It's like someone had just come in and then abruptly left again. Your cheeks are pink, and there is a cloth on the side of the couch, folded and warm. You didn't get it for yourself.
“Don’t freak out, but Yoongi and the others walked in while you were asleep.”
You’re kind of glad that he wasn’t awake to see your mate barely contain his screech, jumping up and down with Jungkook in the entryway. Namjoon’s subtly grinning expression when he took in your appearance and paused in the cold doorway breathing in deeply. Tae wrapped around one arm; their walk interrupted by his return from surgery.
He groans, barely awake enough to think about the visual that Yoongi and the others were treated to. The consequences are better than a shot of expresso at wakeing him up.
But really, was there ever a possibility that the others wouldn’t find out about this? Does Hoseok even want them not to know?
He's too tired, too think about this logically.
Hoseok wonders why he didn’t wake to you holding him. He’s seen you hold the others, hold Namjoon in the morning when you smell like him. The way you wake slowly and run your fingers through their hair. The other alphas have a habit of cuddling up to rest their head against your chest. Hobi remembers that day by the beach when you pet his hair, he wants you to do that now.
But he can't fucking ask. Asking you to cuddle him would be fucking embarrassing.
“Shit." He shakes off his neediness and easily locates his boxers in the mess of the nest because they're bright red. Surreptitiously tucking his now soft and deflated knot back inside. You look away, letting him have that moment of privacy without comment. Your arms curl around your chest, you’re still nude from the waist up. thighs clenched togeather.
“Yeah uhm, they went back out to like- give us some space.”
"Did they say anything?"
You look away, wiggling over to the edge of the nest. "No. But they looked like they wanted to say a whole lot.”
You definitely don’t say that you heard their scuffle, Namjoon and Tae using their alpha privileges to wrangle an overly excited Yoongi and Jungkook. or that both of them had come back inside, both with pink cheeks smelling sweet at the sight of Hobi’s face pressed to your neck and the fresh hickeys at your throat.
(Hobi’s hickeys are always so small and cute. Tae can’t wait to take a picture and save it, for memory's sake. She’s half tempted to take out her phone and snap a picture of the two of you now.)
Your hiss of “Don’t say anything, I swear to fucking god if you wake him-" cured her of any bad ideas and had Namjoon grinning, his dimples showing.
Yoongi’s finger pressed to his lips in the doorway. Smiling wide and showing his gums. Omegas do get awfully protective over alphas in their nests. Especially post-knotting.
You’re honestly a little surprised that their muted shouting hadn’t woken Hobi. The closed door had kept out the cold but not the sound of them discussing on the porch; mostly Tae's insistence that they needed to get out of the house for lunch instead of heading back inside.
“But what if they need aftercare?”
"We shouldn’t leave them alone and unprotected.” (Classic Joonie).
“Yeah! What if they need cleaning!”
Yoongi snorts, “Gross Jk- I’m pretty sure the last thing they want is you licking up Hobi’s cum.”
“But he always likes it when it’s Jinnie-" that had your face and body heating (although that could just be Hobi- a literal furnace that he is wrapped around you).
Now his warmth is on the other side of the nest yet it feels impossibly farther away. As you both stew in silence under the weight of what you’ve done, what you just did.
Everything feels quiet and scary as you put yourselves back together in silence. You use the wet washcloth to keep yourself from dripping all over the couch while he looks for his pants in the mess of blanekts that smell like sex.
Thoughts like shit shit shit and what have you done ping-ponging back and forth across his brain. Mind bouncing between unlikely personal regrets and likely female rejection (of which he is only too familiar with).
Hobi doesn't like feeling rejected, it always brings up bad memories. He didn't wake up to you holding him. Is that a rejection or is his brain just making it up? People always hold each other after sex. Don't they?
You reach for his sweatshirt but before you can touch it a growl bursts forth from his throat and you freeze.
Hoseok scrubs a hand across his eyes, trying to wipe away the memories fitfully. Maybe it’s just because of the fact that he woke up and you weren’t wrapped around him. He's going to have to cuddle you himself if he wants it right now.
This first time with you reminds him of other first time's that didn’t end well. He's sorry for it the second it slips past his lips.
“Sorry, I don’t know why I just- my fucking instincts feel like they're on fire."
“So can I…?” you trail off. Your skin has goosebumps again. And Hoseok doesn’t know if it’s the casual nakedness that has him feeling so unmoored. A blush trailing its way up the back of his neck even though it shouldn’t be weird. He saw you shirtless every other hour during Namjoon’s rut for Christ’s sake.
“Yeah, just wear it- please wear it.” He can’t take back his growl, but he can meditate by watching you pick it up and hug it to your chest. Looking at him for a second as if to check that it’s still alright and he’s not going to snap at you again.
There is a hickey on your shoulder, the spot where it meets your arm. Hobi doesn’t know if it’s from him or someone else. It's a little too red to not be new. You don’t look uncomfortable being nude in front of him.
If anything, you look a little bit glowy.
You look at him and then pull it over your head. His cheeks still heating stubbornly as your chest moves a little, jiggling.
Why do girls have to just- girl all the time- it's honestly a little unfair how much hobi blushed.
He watches you, sitting on the edge of the bed in nothing but his boxers as you stand up pulling the sweatshirt down your hips. He stares at you until you ask a little flustered by hiding it, “What?”
He tugs on the hem of his sweatshirt, slowly, carefully, leaning forward as he tugs on one of the strings with his teeth. His hands go to your waist pulling you close gently, half sure of himself and half afraid. Hoseok is always somehow half afraid. Is this allowed? Is this wanted?
He rests his head against your stomach, loosely twining his arms around your waist to pull you closer, still loose enough that you can step away if you want. All of this can stop if you don’t want it. He hopes you know that.
Hoseok looks down at your feet, not at your face. “I love it when you wear my clothes. I really don't know where that came from.”
“Careful,” you say, a grin in your voice. Your tone light because you don't want him to smell so sour again. “I’m gonna go for your pants next.”
You snatch his from the floor and dart away. Nothing excites an alpha’s instincts like a chase, and Hobi feels the fire light down his spine. His movements are a hunt-heavy blur. Brain honed in on you.
He catches you by the counter, your giggle echoing off the high ceilings. His blood heating again as he drags you by your hips and flops down into one of the bar stools, sitting you on top of him with a growl.
His hands grip hard around your waist, determined until he’s shy. Letting you go softly, “Sorry I just-”
“Instincts still? Don't worry I get it.” You give him his pants and sit up off his lap so that he can put them on. And now is not the time to get another boner Hobi- but it’s kind of hard not to when you smell so bred, so wholly satisfied.
Hobi did that. Hobi's the one who made you look like this drowning in the afterglow.
Your own instincts are telling you that you want to take the blankets from the couch and drag them upstairs, and tuck them in around the scents of the others. So that they can all see and smell how good you made your alpha feel.
Hoseok’s pleasure leaves an undercurrent to the air that’s intoxicating. Half sugar-sweet and musky alpha. Your body hums with it as he steps up close behind you, close enough you can feel his warmth and not his body, nose skimming the bruise he left close to your mating mark. Letting out a tired sigh.
You did just work off a lot of energy, regardless of the half-nappy half-cuddle fucking that just was; It's also left you fucking hungry.
As much as the kitchen has been a place of anxiety for you it really isn’t with Hobi there. There is still that tape line on the floor that guards you off from the stove, sink, and the fridge. Hobi steps out from behind you and goes to the fridge, getting out some of the prepped fruit that Yoongi almost always keeps on hand.
But you keep looking at the kitchen, the pans hanging above the sink, your mixer sitting dusty in the corner. The hanging mugs. Everything.
He brings it to you, setting it down in front of where you sit. instincts making his eyes fever bright. He watches a little too intently as you lift a raspberry to your mouth. Something about watching you eat cools his instincts, making him release a taught breath.
He watches as you lift another piece, a blackberry to your lips and bite down. Almost purring, too afraid of what might slip out if he speaks. He half wants to do it himself and feed you from his fingertips. But that’s a little too embarrassing to consider.
A minute later, after you’ve eaten half a dozen more pieces, he reaches past you, about to get a piece of peach. He doesn't think anything of it, but when he reaches past your face- you flinch.
It happens so quick that he almost doesn’t even catch it. One second your cheek is turned straight and the next your eyes are darting from him to the bowl. Scent souring with fear and memories from Geumjae.
Fuck. (No cuz actually- fuck Geumjae.)
You don’t look at him with fear, you just look at him with a strange sort of sadness in your eyes. Sorry. Like you’re sorry for being scared. hoseok's hand goes tight on the counter.
"I'm sorry."
Hobi sits down. Holds your hands in his, and waits for a second before he speaks. makes his words quiet and gentle because anger at someone dead and gone has no place here.
“I’m not going to hurt you.” You have nice hands, warm where they press into his. And he cradles them, your knuckles flexing vaguely in his grasp, gentle but commanding.
“You’ll try not to, you mean."
You smile at him sadly. Hobi’s chest is tight with it. He needs you to know how much he means those words. How much he needs to mean them. But you both know how hard it is to promise that.
"No. I mean I’m not going to hurt you. Ever.” He repeats. You smile at him sadly again. And he knows his brief anger earlier when you touched his sweatshirt- usually such a normal thing for you- didn't escape you at all. But grief and mourning and memory always finds you at the worst times; after first times and on sunny winter afternoons.
The two of you are a mess, bodies teeming with the memories of failed loves, lost and broken. But you can ignore your triggers; such innocuous things as you wearing his sweatshirt and him reaching past your face. You can ignore your memories; the wretched and rotten ones, just for today.
You let the heavy moment pass and look at the other side of the kitchen. Hobi’s chest feels tight with something. Something that he needs to say but can’t just yet. You can only tell someone you love them for the first time once. You don’t get a second chance.
Hobi just wants to get it right.
You’re looking at the kitchen that Yoongi made for you, holding his hand still. using the other to feed yourself more fruit.
(Is there anything more intimate than holding hands with someone? It feels like more than the pads and lines of his fingers are pressed to yours. soul to soul and palm to palm. The future is written out right there but you ignore it. Love line, health line, fate. But the two of you are dedicated to writing your own end. Your love line is exactly the same length as his, not a millimeter longer).
Hoseok’s chest is still all tight. “What are you thinking about?”
“I haven’t made anything in months.” You sigh, sad. “I want to. I used to love baking, I used to-” you break off, sorrow making you quiet.
Hobi’s eyes are fixed on your shoulder. There are freckles there. He’s not sure why he’s never noticed them before or that you’ve got them dotting your back.
Hobi swallows past something in his throat. Pushing you gently from your chair until you're standing next to him. Cupping your waist because now that he's started touching you it's hard to stop. Now that he knows he’s allowed to touch you so casually, so affectionately, he going to keep doing it.
“Go. I’ll watch you, make sure you stay safe.” Because that’s the rule, isn’t it? Not that you can’t be in the kitchen at all, just that you need someone there to keep you safe.
The words feel tight in his throat, not easily said. I love you. He thinks as he watches you move to the mixer with a small but pretty smile that looks like daisies have taken root on your skin, everything sweet and flowering.
I love you. He thinks as he watches you get your cookbook from behind the mixer. I love you he thinks when he watches you place a mug from that morning in the sink. I love you he thinks as you get the sugar, the vanilla, the salt. He has to get up and get the flour for you, unwilling to have your arms strain underneath the heavy container, doting on you just because he can.
Just because he wants to, just because he loves you.
The shadow of what’s left on the bag hits his dark clothes like a ghostly outline when he holds it. The flour is a bit like you; everywhere he touches it leaves an impression. The rainbows from his suncatcher you put in the kitchen shift with the angle of the sunlight, winking out one by one as dusk falls.
He sits at the kitchen island and watches as you hum and flick through your recipe book. Golden hour fades to orange and pink the same way that roses fade.
He’s not sure why he blurts it out, why he asks, “What’s your favorite?”
You look up from your cookbook, everything is set out but still, the recipe is undecided. “What?”
Hobi can not look at you for this, instead looks at the kitchen island and the old butcher block countertop. Fingers toying along the edge where a knife left a gash.
“You always make everyone else’s favorites; Namjoon’s honey cakes, coffee-flavored things for Jin, the vegan stuff for Jungkook you know- but-” his eyes flick up to you in a moment of bravery. “What’s yours? What's your favorite?”
You think for a moment, a kitchen apart, fingers tapping on the countertop and Hobi can’t take his eyes off of you. His body feels a little achy but in that ‘was just fucked good’ sort of way that makes his breath deeper. Quieting some alpha part of him that always wants a little more. A little more scenting, a little more validation, a little more attention.
But everything can wait.
“My favorite thing to eat or my favorite thing to make?”
“Both. Either.” You glance at the clock. Going to the pantry for a second to double-check that you have everything you'll need. “I’ll have to make some of it from scratch but-" you look at him. “Do you have time?”
Hobi nods. “As long as you need.”
Hobi watches as you measure out the flour and sift it. Hobi watches as you wait for the eggs to get to room temperature and fucks with the playlist. His phone will eventually get splashed with coco but- it’s okay.
All of this is okay, all of this is I love you I love you I love you and I don’t know what to do with all of it, can you take someone it, please. I don’t have enough space in my body to hold all of it. Hoseok doesn’t speak for how sheer the impulse is just to blurt it out.
The yellow plastic mixing bowl keeps clattering against the counter as you stir the egg yolks until they froth up and fizz. Pouting you turn your eyes to him. “Can you help?”
Hoseok has to swallow back the words before they slip past. Hopping up a little too quickly. “Yeah of course.”
You don’t tell him what you’re making, let him guess. So many of your recipes need egg whites and vanilla. You let him put it together on his own. Hobi doesn’t peek at your recipe book and spoil the surprise.
Every action, every spoonful of sugar is I love you too, just say it. You don’t talk about the sex you just had and you don’t say I love you to him. You wait for him to say it first. You don’t say a thing besides; “Just a half teaspoon of that; drizzle it a little at a time, or else it clumps together. Good.” Hobi’s cheeks heat with every bit of praise and you have a lot of it for him.
Hobi looks away when you look up from the bowl, oh so carefully folding the batter and egg whites together. So gently that the hiss and bubble of whipped egg yolks disintegrating is hardly audible.
Hobi hasn’t baked since he was a kid; since he got into his head that chocolate chip cookies were totally something that an eight-year-old should be able to make on their own without adult supervision and almost burned his parents’ apartment to the ground. He tells you the story and you laugh.
He can tell that you’re making adjustments as you go. Adding in a bit of cinnamon, piping off the cookies in neat little lines, and then tapping them oh so carefully to get rid of the bubbles.
The stove preheats and then the tray goes in, filling the room with your scent. That cakey baking aroma that has him resting his head back against the cabinets when you sit on the floor and greedily breathing in.
You wait the 30 minutes like that, sitting on the floor between the cabinets and stove. Your feet pressed to his knees and a glass of lemonade between the two of you.
“You really like baking,” he says, and your eyelashes flutter, you must be getting tired. He takes your feet into his lap, using his hand to massage up your calf. Smiling when you sigh.
“Yeah, it makes me feel- I don’t know. I like making the world sweeter, just a little. Even if it’s just my little corner of it. Making things you guys like makes me happy too.”
“You know, you could go to culinary school if you wanted.” Hobi gets a little shy because you hadn’t explicitly told Jin and Namjoon not to tell anyone about your plans or your application (still pending). It will be a few more weeks until you find out, but that change is just on the horizon.
He's already seen Jimin perusing expensive leather bookbags and has overseen a recommendation letter coming from Namjoon’s email. Hobi might have read it for him to double-check because Hobi always notices things the others might gloss over. Jin and Tae had given it proof read too.
You make a noise in your throat, halfway between a hum in approval and a hum in distaste. “I don’t know, it seems like- a lot to do for a hobby.”
Hobi and you are the only two in the pack who wanted to go to college but didn’t. Couldn’t in your case because Geumjae wouldn’t let you and flunked out in his. He gets the lack of clarity in your voice; to go back or not go back. To try again or not try at all and not worry about whether or not you’re enough.
“I already started applying anyway. Namjoon and Jin and Tae put a lot of effort into helping me apply and-” You let out a frustrated sigh.
Hobi shakes his head, “Doesn’t matter. You can change your mind.” There is always time. You tap your toes against his shins and he grabs your feet and you jerk, ticklish. And he almost almost gives in to the urge to tell you he loves you right then and there.
“But could you be happy? Doing this all the time?” You turn, putting your hand over your eyes to peer into the oven and make sure that the ladyfingers are rising properly. “Doing it every day? Would it make you happy?”
You pause, hand on the door before replying in a small voice. “Yeah, maybe. Maybe I could be happy.”
You stand with a crack of your knees, sticking out your hand for Hobi and almost falling into him when he truly uses your hand to help himself up.
“Come on, we’ve got to make the whipped cream next-”
It goes like that, you both talking, and Hobi fucking with the playlist. Thinking three little words and not saying them.
You let the ladyfingers cool for a few minutes while you make the expresso. Dunking them in quickly. Piping out the honey-flavored whipped cream in sticky little dollops. Shaking out the cocoa with a practiced hand.
You make the caramel for the top last. Sugar-burning, glass-like little strands on top for a bit of crunch.
The tiramisu is a delicate creation, the layers perfectly spaced out in just the right ratio of cream to chocolate. You let it sit for a second in the fridge and when you take it out, you cut it into a single perfect little square and put it on a plate for him. Treading over the blue painter’s tape line and lingering by him where he sits.
“Try it.” You ask and he does obediently.
Hobi takes a bite of it, rolling the flavors around his tongue while you watch. You haven’t cut a piece for yourself just yet, but you have a fork. You stand on the other side of the kitchen island and take a bite from the other corner of the pan, humming happily when the taste hits your tongue.
It really is your favorite. You grin at the plate, “I could finish this whole thing in one sitting.”
Hobi takes another bite. It’s really good, the flavors are simple but delicate, each of them identifiable but yet cohesive. He could eat all of it too.
Hoseok swallows and realizes why it's your favorite; It tastes like all of you- like the pack.
The honey whipped cream is Jin and Jungkook, and the chocolate cocoa on top is your mate; dark chocolate like an Oreo cookie. Hobi thinks it might not be normal cocoa. The homemade ladyfingers are soaked through with Namjoon's coffee and the cake itself is a delicate dance of Tae’s cinnamon, Jimin’s vanilla, and your scent too. Buttery and yummy.
He's finished half of what's on his plate before he realizes that you added the crunchy layer on top, the caramel too.
That’s Hobi isn’t it? The Burnt sugar sweetness. He knows that’s not typical but still, you added in anyway. The smell of caramel is thick in the air. Sweet sweet sweet. Hobi always smells the sweetest when he’s falling in love.
The tiramisu tastes like the whole pack. Like love soaked threw. Hobi’s heart and body is full of it.
He thinks this might be his favorite too.
Hobi tries to blink back the wetness, really tries not to cry as he takes another big bite. He gets a little bit of whipped cream on his lip, licking it and sniffling. You pause, a bite hovering between the plate and your mouth before you set down your fork with a clink.
“Oh Hobi”
The space between you is nothing more than air as you quickly head around the kitchen island. You cup both of his cheeks and he sags into the touch, hands instantly going over yours to keep them there. Tears spilling warm and unabated down his cheeks.
Hobi decides right then he is beyond pretending that he doesn’t want it, that he doesn’t want you. Wet cheeks and imploring eyes.
“Oh Hoseok, what’s wrong?”
You’re standing between his legs and your collarbone rests against his cheek. Your hand runs through his hair and his heart pulses hard.
"I didn’t mean to make you cry. If this is because-” you trail off. You don’t say that you shouldn’t have had sex earlier because you can’t find it in yourself to regret this even a little bit. But you are sorry for not doing it in a way that didn't make him cry. If that's why he's crying.
“No it’s not that. I just-" Hoseok can hardly speak his mouth is so full of love that it bursts from him before he has a chance to think it through. Sobbing a little as he says it;
"I'm crying because I love you and I don’t know how to tell you.”
Hobi stutters and your hands on his cheeks go firm for a second before they relax. “I love you; I love being around you, I love that you're my best friend and that i get to love you too. I love living in this house with you. I’m crying because for the first time I get it-”
He can’t stop the confession now that it's started, and if he'd just open his eyes he'd get to see your smile but they're screwed shut tight.
“I get it, I get why once Yoongi met you, he couldn’t leave. I understand why he brought you back to us. But-” he hiccups and you giggle a little at the sound. His eyes shoot open and he realizes that you're crying too- that you haven't stepped away. You wipe away his tears with your thumbs and grin down at him.
“I'm so fucking afraid too- I can’t help but feel like the way we started just- fucked everything up. I fucked everything up back then by being jealous. I look at you and I’m scared I’ll fuck this up.”
You hold his face in your hands and think; I will be gentle with you, I will be gentle with you even if it kills me. You have never loved someone broken like you, and you know how easy it is to make a wrong step. But you’re sure when you say the words anyway.
“You won’t.”
“But-” you kiss his hands, knuckles, fingertips. His forehead, his lips Everything. Your eyes are focused and Hobi can’t look away.
“You won’t, you promised not to hurt me and you won’t.”
He falls silent, and you pull him in close. His lips still tingle from your kiss and you kiss him again, long and lingering, hard with the force of your conviction. It tastes like tiramisu.
When you break apart, Hoseok rests his ear on your heart and listens.
You should say I love you back, you really should return the words. But you think there will be other moments to say them. You'll say it when you wake up with him tomorrow morning, you'll say it when you fall asleep tonight curled close to him. There will be more time to say them- during a late-night drives when you look over at him in the dark. There are always going to be more times to say it and you’ll say it and mean it every time.
Unfortunately, life isn't so neat and tidy.
You wipe his cheeks and he wipes yours and you both giggle, leaning into each other. You get him a tissue for his nose and start laughing all over again. Being with Hobi will always be like this, half your lover and half your best friend.
“Do you want to go on a drive later, only,” you wipe tears from your own eyes, “want to take the others this time?”
He smiles, “That’s the best idea you’ve ever had.”
He tries to pull you in for another kiss but you feed him a bite of tiramisu instead and it gets half on his cheek, “finish your cake alpha,” you command, and Hobi is perilous to disobey. the next bite you take ends up on your cheek too because he tickles you, and you blush when he leans forward to lick it off your cheek. All giggly and happy and close. You sat practically on the edge of the counter. Noodle meows and laps up some of it from the floor.
You don’t need to say I love you back, you already have. Hobi can taste it on the edge of every bite.
You cut him another piece and share it this time, and he can't stop looking at you, can't stop smiling.
You smile around a mouthful, "i'm gonna tear up that train ticket."
"Don't you fucking dare. We've gotta like- put it in a scrap book or something."
You clean up the tiramisu, thinking of what might happen when the pack gets back, thinking of how things will go now that you’ve settled this. They’ll be happy; all of you all together finally. This last piece of your little family finally falling into place.
Maybe it will go like this:
Maybe when the pack gets home, there will not just be tiramisu on the counter. Maybe there will be gluten-free lemon bars and honey cakes. Chocolate ginger cookies dusted with powdered sugar and freshly baked bread with cheese and garlic. Little personal cheesecakes that you made in a muffin tin dotted with jam preserve because now that you’ve started to bake again there might not be anything to stop you.
You already feel the urge in your hands, the urge to make things. You think it might have been learned from Yoongi.
Maybe they’ll come home with pizza, unsure if a party and alcohol is really the proper way to go about celebrating, but the cake from the bakery that Tae will buy as a joke, will have flowery lettering and “congrats for losing your Hobi-ginity"
It will make you laugh until your lungs ache like the fireworks have gone off. Will make him blush and rub the back of his neck in shyness.
When they come home there might be a few sly comments but the pack knows when to tease and when not to. Maybe Namjoon will take a hearty sniff at Hoseok’s throat, dragging it up and down the nape of his neck, huffing happily. (Namjoon has always been a little bit possessive of Hoseok the same way Jin has always been possessive of you, but that's pack alpha's for you).
Tae will tuck your hair behind your ears to get a better look at the mark he left on your throat, manicured fingers gently stroking over it. and Yoongi will shoot him a challenging look and drawl, "really daisy? is this really something you wanna start?" all playful. the way yoongi only gets when he's really really happy.
And when Jin gets home, Maybe he’ll drag you over his lap with some squirming because there is no avoiding this hole check. Not when Jin and the others have been waiting.
Under the hungry eyes of the rest of the pack, you would still squirm. Your mate watching and grinning as he nibbles a piece of pizza and just watches as Jin pulls your sleep shorts down to your knees. Leaving them there to pin your thighs together. Hand against the small of your back to keep you still.
Of course, the pack omega has to look after the two of you and make sure the lowest on the hierarchy is being safe without a stronger presence nearby. But your entrance is pink fucked warm, not red and inflamed. Hoseok’s knot is the perfect thing to warm you up, and Jin tugs his sweatshirt over your hips to keep you warm as he examines you.
Fingers drag your entrance apart to show the others how good hobi did. Prompting them to touch and feel for themselves, all of their fingers teasing at your entrance and all of them touching you. Tae and Jungkook holding your thighs, Jimin and Namjoon resting their hands on your ass to help jin hold you open better and yoongi prodding to feel-
They'd want to see his cum slip out, forced from your hole by your needy clench. Of course, they'd just fuck it back inside because not a drop can go to waste. one set of fingers and then another, jungkook leaning down to taste.
Jin’s eyes would be all dark eyes and honey tones, looking hoseok up and down, cheeks as red as the sweatshirt you wear. His praise makes Hobi feel just a little bit too proud for his own good.
Hobi would probably get a knot-check for that, because if the alpha has something to be proud of then surely the others need to check his ego (and only in the way that hobi likes).
The alphas would scuffle with him a little, wrestling to settle him. Hobi's instincts are still fever bright and he needs to be put in his place. To feel the pack for what they are; very necessary safety bumpers.
He'd go so easily after a few nips- Jimin would help pull his pants down so Namjoon could get his big hands around him, fingers teasing at the red skin around his base and making Hobi growl and gasp. Pausing to cup lower and make sure Hoseok's empty, that he didn't hold back breeding you. Tae would tutt and make him open his mouth, her finger teasing along his teeth just for shits and giggles. Just to make him groan.
Nothing makes an alpha more proud than getting to show off his teeth.
Jin would smile at the display, and croon. “Good alpha.”
Maybe Jin will pat your pussy lips softly before pulling your pants up, making you flinch and then relax and jungkook would bend down to give Hoseok's knot a little kiss before standing.
The whole thing would take maybe 5 minutes but it would leave the whole pack ravenous for more. The final evidence of this finally happening; all of you together and not fragmented.
As you should be, together.
Maybe later, after treats and pizza, you'll all get to go to the beach like Hobi promised. Two separate cars. And Namjoon might let Hoseok and Jimin do donuts in the empty parking lot without too much fuss. The smell of tires and gasoline ripping.
Jungkook whooping and Yoongi watching on with his grin, Jin in the back seat with you going “Oh- oh hope- slow down” looking a little green. But terrorizing the pack omega is kind of your job.
It’s cold and late at night but you’ll tear out across the sand. Running to the shore. Tossing your shoes into the dark and toeing into the waves. Yelling happy.
You and Hobi will try and throw Yoongi into the water and then the other alphas will actually succeed in throwing Namjoon, pushing him until he inevitably tumbles into the seafoam. All 7 of you will try and wrangle Jungkook into the same wet fate and fail.
Jin will tuck Namjoon’s wet hair back behind his ear and grin at him, his grin saying the words they don’t need to. Kisses tases like secrets and salt but that much has not changed. Might never change when it comes to the eight of you. All the secrets in the world couldn’t keep you apart.
You’ll get zoomy in the way that dogs get in wide-open spaces. You’ll run. Your feet slapping against the sand, tossing spray into the air as high as your laughter, chasing after each other. A bunch of barefoot kids in too-big bodies and sand between your toes. Hands clasped tight in each other’s so that you won’t let go. You won’t ever let go now that you've found them.
For once you'll be absent of all the things that drag you down. Lighter than the warm air that billows over the sea. Mouths that store special secret salty smiles for the better. Damp fingers that curl against warm wrists. holding onto each other tight even though you’re running and running-
Running.
Maybe.
But that’s not what happens. Instead, what happens is this;
You are sitting at the kitchen counter when Hobi gets a text. It’s from Jungkook asking about the pizza types that you’d want and
Yoongi’s left his phone, he says with a little 👀 emoji. But he won’t truly tease the both of you until he gets home. Of course Yoongi was too distracted by you and Hobi post coitous to grab it from the other room.
you to to the pantry to put away the flour and this close- you can hear another phone ring from the bathroom. It's it yours? Only No, it's not your phone sitting on the counter, but Yoongi’s. Lighting up with Jin’s contact information.
JinJinJin: 5 missed calls.
It's so like your mate to leave his phone in such a random place. You smile as you pick up.
Jin is already talking a mile a minute. Fear and panic make his words come quick and desperate.
“Yoongi- why the fuck didn't you pick up" You don't have time to respond. Don't have time to let him know it's not your mate but you that picked up the phone.
"I don’t know how the fuck it happened, I don’t know- but-“ he’s almost shouting over the phone, such raw panic in his voice that it has your body going frozen.
Jin lets out a broken sobbing breath.
"I shot Minnie.”
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Please Like, Comment, and Reblog <3 Every little bit of encouragement helps <3
Come tell me what you liked about this chapter!
Series Masterlist ~ Donate ~ Twitter
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Notes:
I ended up editing out a good portion of Hoseok ’s inner monologue at the begining, because I realized that at that point in time with the other pack he wouldn’t have been thinking stuff about how terrible it was because it wasn’t terrible yet. i probably should have even edited it fluffier if we're being honest. i think that would have been more unsettling.
The line where she says “One second you're holding back and the next you're kissing him like he's Yoongi and he's kissing you like he's starving.” Is a little hard to explain, she’s not thinking about Yoongi in that moment but the person she associates the most with love is Yoongi so- yeah it made sense. I feel like this line might make people go a little like “what??”
I swear if you guys didn’t cry a little at the ‘It doesn’t hurt at all.’ Parts I’m not doing this right because I was SOBBING.
Listen, I almost edited out the line where he calls her pussy an inside joke so many times- but for me- when I was younger I always wanted to be a part of inside jokes because like- if you are that means you’ve got history with someone- Hoseok is thinking this because until this moment- he hasn’t been able to be apart of something that the rest of the pack had understood.
When Hoseok was leaving a hickey over her mating mark it’s his way of saying “this is mine too 😠” to Yoongi,
Honestly??? Why is Hobi so feral in this like- he’s a /little/ unhinged from how much he wants her and tbh it’s fair. Look away if you don’t wanna read him going APESHIT for her.
ALSO- I’m just imagining him on the walk with jungkook and Tae, cheeks slowly pinking up because he can feel that they’re having sex down the mating bond, maybe getting hard and the others noticing, both of them plastering themselves along his side and teasing him with words like “do you think he’s making her all wet and messy hyung? Do you think she’s gonna cream around his cock like she creams around yours?” and Yoongi just- endlessly suffering around the two horndogs that are Tae on estrogen and jungkook on a regular day.
The moment where they’re holding hands and it’s talking about palmistry is a refrence to noah kahan’s song everywhere everything and the line “it’s been a long year, in all of our books pages dog eared, we write out the ends on our palms dear, and forget to read.”
The worst worst worst part about this chapter is that I don’t??? have a fucking recipe for the tiramisu?? Like I’ve made it before but I’ve never made honey flavored whipped cream or put caramel on top 🥺 maybe I’ll test it out one dayand update this chapter
Okay so the ‘flash into the improbable future at the end is a little too horny for the end of smutt but I couldn’t just /not/ put it in there because you know how I love a good hole check scene.
do you hate me because of this cliffhanger? even i have to say its a little unforgivable.
please be patient for next chapter because i do not have A SINGLE fucking word written for it. like nada, we're starting from scratch come monday.
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Hobi's sex Playlist (jk isn't not a sex playlist)
Dominic fike- Mama's boy (hobis' flashback)
Mitski – my love mine all mine. (yoongi telling him to be good)
Lana del ray – chemtrails over the country club. (the sex)
Olivia Rodrigo – can’t catch me now (when they're both triggered from the respective abusive relationships)
Tom o’dell – black Friday. (Juz cuz)
💜💜💜
Before I Leave You (pt.68)
(Omegaverse au, Mafia au, Bts x Reader)
Summary: Your time is running out. minute by minute, breath by breath, kiss by kiss.
Tags: Angst, Hurt (no comfort yet), illusions to past mental health issues and past domestic abuse, mentions of low-self-esteem, internalized shame and self-shaming behaviors, themes of abandonment, speeding, guns, violence,
W/c: 13.4k
A/N: ahhhhh so here we are! i've been dreaming of this chapter since the very beginning of the series! this is like...the ultimate chapter...thank you for giving me a little bit of extra time to sit with it! we've still got a bit to go! there is a little section near the end where the chapter will prompt you to click on a link to play kate bush 😂 if you feel like you'll be distracted by music in the background you don't need to push it- thats just the song that i always heard playing in my head whenever i heard that part playing.
Previous part - Masterlist - First part
Hobi is sitting on the edge of the nest sipping at his ice water when you come back into the nest room. Someone has drawn all of the heavy curtains over the windows and they pool on the floor at the rim of the room. The plastic pulled up too. The evidence folded and put away for later burning. Like a bad memory or a piece of clothing that doesn't fit right. Shoved in the back of the closet.
The rage and fear and panic are harder to put away. The conviction is not so easy to hide. You can’t put it down the same way that people file their taxes or their children's old scribbles.
You- like a child, have not been able to color between the lines. You- like a child, are messy.
You can’t stop yourself from walking over to him. Drawn to him where he sits nursing his injuries like a moth to a flame. You feel every heartbeat spent in his presence; every breath shared sticky like smoke in your lungs. Every second is savored and every second burns.
You want to ask him if he’s alright, but questions like that seem very pointless now.
Hobi’s not alright- but he will be. He will be okay forever if you do what you have to do. Now that you’ve decided it’s all you can think about. You rarely ever get to know that your last day with someone will be your last day, and now because you know- you look at him a little harder. A little longer.
You wonder what he’ll look like in 10 years and in 20. If he’ll get crow’s feet from smiling so much. If the salt water he loves so much will eventually grow into his features and make him look like something ancient.
You wonder if one day he'll get so many freckles that the tops of his shoulders will be permanently a shade deeper than the rest of his skin- Or if Seokjin’s sunscreen will spare him from the simple pleasure of looking like your favorite thing. Hoseok has always been one part sunshine one part everything else.
He looks pale right now. It hasn't been summer in months and you won't get to see him get all freckly and sun-kissed again.
Growing old is a privilege (you don’t want to grow old) and you’re reminded of that every time you look at his throat and see the bruises there (you wish you and Hobi could stay as you are- like this, in this house- both alive and healing- forever) but you can’t.
You can’t.
You touch his shoulder softly and his head jerks up, body going tense and then slack when he sees it's just you.
It’s quiet up here. The others are just downstairs and they’re making a lot of noise. Hoseok turns, setting his glass of water down on the floor, leaning into your hand in the same movement. It would be cute if he didn’t have black bruises crisscrossing his throat and blood in the whites of his eyes. In truth, every blink only convinces you that this is what you have to do. This is what you need to do.
You know that at any moment the pack is going to come looking for you. That they’ll all come and fill the room with their soothing noises and sweet concern. You're not too worried about finding the right time to slip away. Moonbyul’s given you 24 hours after all.
We didn’t get enough time, did we? I’d have liked more.
Hobi tries to speak and you shush him, he makes a frustrated hum of a noise. You sit down next to him when he tugs you, hand vicelike on your wrist. Your heart is beating really fast. You wonder if he can hear it or at least smell your distress. The whole house is a tangle of distressed scents; your rain, Yoongi’s ocean, Hoseok’s burnt caramel. burning burning burning. It disguises your scent. Hoseok can’t smell how you’re panicking.
You smile at him, and Hobi tries to speak again. unsuccessfully.
“Here your phone-” but Hoseok doesn’t reach for it, he doesn’t reach for anything but you. Pulling you closer to him. His thumb pressed to the pulse point of your wrist, where your skin becomes thin and sensitive. Pulling you until your thigh lines up against his.
The nest up here is the only place in the house that smells somewhat normal, still soaked with your sleepy muted scents from a few days ago (How long will it be until your scent fades from the house?) You take a deep shaky breath, trying to savor it. Hoseok bites his lower lip.
Hoseok starts on your thigh. His hand squeezes it once and then he starts to write. It’s slow going. He can only write one letter at a time but-
“D-O-N-T”
His eyes are positively boring into yours as your breath hitches and you start. “Hobi I-” he repeats it again, writing it out faster. You grab his hand squeezing it. But he pulls it out of your grasp.
“N-O”
You huff, frustrated and close to tears but stealing yourself not to show him your true feelings. How hard this is. You duck in low, kissing over one of the bruises on his neck. He jerks back, furrowing his eyebrows at you. And part of you is just begging him to let it go. You’re half sitting in his lap now all so that he can write out his distress on both your thighs.
“Alright- just stop.” You can hear the rest of the pack on the stairs. It’s getting late, they’ve done all of the cleaning they can manage for today. You can hear Yoongi on the stairway talking to Jin:
“Maybe we should just burn the railing, there’s definitely a bullet or two in it still.”
Jin’s reply is near hissed, utterly scandalized in the way that only Jin can sound. “It is mahogany Yoongi.”
Hobi writes on your thigh, a single tear trailing down his nose. He’s usually a little bit better at keeping himself together but the stress of the day wore him through. Polished all of his usually stubborn edges like the ocean polishes sea glass. He’s too tired to properly argue. Letter by letter as he goes.
“P-R-O-M-I-S-E M-E,” he writes across your thigh.
You have maybe a second before they’re upon you. You have to be convincing. Have to, or else Hobi might tell. You don’t think he’ll get in your way. You don’t want to think about what you’ll have to do if he does.
You dart forward, pressing your lips to his in a way that you don’t really feel, in a way that has him pushing you a little off of him. Trying to reassure him in the only way you know how.
You bite the inside of your cheek to keep from crying and he tucks a lock of your hair behind your ear. His fingertips skimming soft across your jaw and your lips. Pressing at the corner of your sad smile like he can peel the fake expression away from your face and have you tell the truth for once.
“I promise, okay? I promise.”
Hoseok is not convinced. He doesn’t believe you all the way. But the pack is up here before he has a chance to write out anything more. Yoongi appears in the doorway, smelling of soap and bleach, a bit of it turning the corner of his shirt yellow where it should be black. His eyes cautious but so loving it takes your breath away a little. He treads softly over to the two of you; like he's worried about spooking you.
The moment between you and Hobi passes when Yoongi's hand curls over the back of your neck and you tilt your face up at him. And he interprets the glassiness there as something else. something more sensitive and more like omegaspace than what it is. you falling through space and time, you dying and drowning infront of him.
He probably thinks Hoseok was just comforting you.
Yoongi’s hand settles softly on the ball of Hoseok’s shoulder too. an equally as tender touch. Long fingers splaying against his collar bones, cradling a bruise there forming. Asking softly, eyes all dark with the anguish and apology of it-
“Do you think either of you can stomach dinner?”
As always, you say you can hot because you want to, but because you know it will make him happy to see you eat. You might not get many more opportunities to make Yoongi happy- you should take this one and savor it.
Yoongi loses that vaguely wounded look in his eyes with every bite you lift to your mouth. His scent sublimating into something sweeter as the night darkens and quiets.
You can tell Hoseok is not convinced of your promises when he stays glued to your side through the whole of dinner. Almost stubborn with how he resists Yoongi’s prodding and Namjoon's. Changing out the cool dressings on his throat and shaking his head at Namjoon’s suggestion that he sleep propped up against the back wall of the nest, where it’s safest. Eyes tracking your movements as you get up and brush your teeth.
His focus remains solely on you, even when Jungkook carries Tae out of the bathroom and places her among the softest things in the nest. When Noodle squirms his way out from under the bed and tries to worm himself in between his legs. Nudging under his elbow with his pink nose.
He wraps himself around you as you get ready for bed. An arm slung protectively around your waist to pull you flush against his front where you couldn’t squirm away without him feeling it and waking up.
It feels like buying time even though you're too distracted to properly enjoy it- the way they try to cheer you up. Everything that they do to try and make things better feels far away like a photograph- a memory just out of reach- the colors a little off.
Jungkook needily wraps himself around Tae and croons soft reassurance into her ear about how pretty her hair looks, how soft her pajamas make her. And would she like some of her skincare routine? Jungkook will do it for her, will pat it across her cheeks, and won't drag it under her eyes to preserve the state of her wrinkles.
Tae answers all his requests with a simple shake of her head. Eyes still frighteningly blank, that 1000-yard stare that you've all seen on your faces at one point or another, that you see in the reflective surface of Namjoon's phone in the nest, discarded and not charged.
Tae's scent is something awful- none of her usual roses and all cinnamon. Does Tae smell more like her old self because that version of her was always afraid? Or was being a boy the first thing she hated and that's why she smells like boy tae now?
You hate it. You can tell the others hate it too. Yoongi drags her close to scent her silly. cheek and neck going all pink from how hard he scents her, and then scents you, and then goes back again.
Jungkook can do little more than cuddle Tae with Jimin, his big hands smooth down her thighs, while Jimin brushes her hair gently- careful not to let the bristles brush her scalp. He's learned how to take care of her over the last few months and he's the gentlest when it comes to detangling. Not like you- who's so used to ripping through your hair without thought.
Up and down their hands go as Jin fluffs the nest around you all. Making the edges of it higher, and more protective of the fragile pups at the center (like fluffy duvets could ever block bullets. In his dreams- Jin’s love is enough to keep you all safe).
Yoongi and Namjoon are only too happy to oblige him with the nest-making and the general fussing. But in between Jin’s request for a hairdryer and another cold cloth for your hands. You catch them watching the door like they half expect some new threat to appear.
Certain things are harder to ignore; like Yoongi sitting on the edge of the nest with a gun balanced across his thigh. Or the heavy thud of a fresh box of bullets, rattling in their acrylic case when Jimin sets them down on the floor. The red shotgun casings lined up in pretty lines- just like Tae’s lipsticks downstairs.
You ask for one of Hobi's sweatshirts and Yoongi puts the gun away to go and give it to you. Hoseok fingers the edge of your shirt stroking over the meat of your hip idly. But every inch of him is taught like he’s going to have to grab you and hold you down. You lace your hand with his and turn to give him a look.
Yoongi’s back with a sweatshirt but it’s Jin who demands to dress you- to guide your fragile and freshly wrapped hands through the holes. Jin pulls it down around your hips with a soft huff before he gets distracted looking at the bruises on your back and side. From getting thrown back into the wall and from an errant elbow. Every time you twist even a little bit- they ache.
A tub of soothing cream that the pack usually uses for the more wanted kind of bruises sits open on the edge of the nest.
The pack moves about in pairs, here and there. Going down to the ground floor in sets of two. Unwilling to let anyone out of sight. There are guns everywhere, Jimin must have let loose his hidden stash of them. A shotgun leans up against the bathroom door. A handgun with an extended stock is always close at hand. There's a larger plan lingering here. You hear it in Jin's soft reassurances. Said hushed over your heads.
"Witness protection isn't as bad as you think it is Yoongi-"
"It won't work- don't you think we know how it works? That won't be safe enough."
"We have at least a few hours, we don't need to make any decisions now."
Jungkook’s scared voice, “Are we really going to have the leave? The house and everything?” A pause. A look is shared between Jin, Namjoon, and Yoongi. Jimin's eyes remain focused on Tae.
“Maybe bunny, we have to wait and see.”
“Do we have a carrying case for Noodle?”
“I think it’s in…” Yoongi trails off, but Namjoon answers for him.
“Yeah, it’s in the basement.”
They set about keeping watch for the night. those of you that aren't nursing wounds that is- mainly Jimin, Yoongi, and Namjoon- Guns remain at the ready and loaded. Jimin will go first, Yoongi second, and Namjoon last.
Jin tries but Namjoon nudges at his chest and growls in a way that has all of your ears perking up. The pack alpha’s commands can’t easily be ignored. Jungkook tries too to convince them too but even Hoseok shakes his head at him. No one is under any illusions of how fragile this peace is.
No one asks Namjoon to leave the Christmas lights on- but he doesn’t shut them off all the way- leaving just one string lit as a bit of a nightlight. None of you are quite brave enough to risk the darkness.
Hoseok stays close by, his hand clutching your wrist more often than not. Even when the pack settles in for sleep. He wraps his arm around your waist and settles in behind you, caging you in.
(Hoseok’s arms are not the prettiest cage you’ve ever been in but they are the cage you’ve liked the most. You think you’ll miss his arms and his hands. They’re so pretty and long, you lean down and kiss one where it’s gripping the nest and he makes a small noise in surprise that quickly gets swallowed by the hungry quiet.)
The quiet is very hungry, every brush of fabric against skin, every slight movement of the pack sets you a bit on edge. You think it will be hard to sleep- wound up as you are.
You don’t think you're even tired until your head hits the pillow and you have to struggle to stay awake. You want to stay up and listen to the sound of your pack, their soft and measured breathing, the sound of kisses shared above your head, the feel and safety of being in the nest. You want to commit the rhythm of them to memory.
Hoseok’s soft rasping breath on the nape of your neck evens out the more that his swelling goes down. It goes from hissing to more of a squeak as the night settles. Tae shakes through her aforementioned panic attack with all of you piled around her. You get your hand on her ankle at least.
Yoongi and Jimin’s shushing is the only punctuating sound in the half-light. Because what can you say besides sweet nothings when you know she has a perfectly valid reason to fear falling asleep?
You savor every little twitch of their trauma-worn bodies as you flit in and out of an uneasy sleep. Every slight sigh and hand on you rousing you. Jungkook, brushing his fingers through your hair. Hobi, pressed along your back like a second skin shifting and trying to tilt his neck to a more comfortable angle.
You get too hot with Hobi wrapped around you like that, eventually tugging at his sweatshirt that you wear and almost purring when kind gentle hands help detangle you from it with a soothing little shush sound so that you hardly have to wake. Yoongi, around midnight.
Yoongi’s thin but strong fingers rub a soothing touch along your jaw. Soothing away a small sad noise you make that has him curling around your front. The sound of Namjoon's low voice as he says something to your mate and then takes his place at the helm of the nest to stand guard.
“It’s okay pup, I’m here- I’m not going to let anything happen to you- not now- not ever.”
It’s unfortunate, but Namjoon can’t let Tae sleep for more than half an hour before checking her pupillary responses, making sure that her brain isn’t swelling. Concussions are no joke and Namjoon does not take chances with his prettiest alpha. He sends her back off to dreamland with a comforting scent mark and a soothing grumble. After the 5th hour when the risks turn nominal, he decides to just let her sleep.
But Hoseok doesn’t sleep, he can’t really. The pain keeps him awake and what with the way that his neck is injured he can’t find a comfortable position. He shifts and settles the whole night. Keeping you close with that arm around your waist every time you squirm so much as an inch away.
He’s restless until Namjoon gets up to get one of Jimin’s painkillers.
He’s resistant even then, half asleep still fighting. Trying to move away and shaking his head at Namjoon. Namjoon mistakes his unwillingness for simple fussiness and not for fear. If Hobi falls asleep it will be substantially easier to slip away- you watch from below as Namjoon props hobi up and pinches his jaw to make him open his mouth, encouraging the alpha to show his tongue with a prod of those gentle hands. His eyes are barely open, exhausted as he is.
“I know it hurts to swallow Hobi but you’ve got too.” Regardless of his shaken head, Namjoon insistently nudges his mouth with it. Soothing his gag with a stroke of his thumb down Hoseok’s Addams apple. A kiss to his lips for being good.
“This will help the swelling go down, you’ll be okay by morning.”
It’s minutes before they take effect. Slowly- Hoseok’s arm melts away from your stomach. His grip on you slackens from the drugs and his breath evens out. You say a quiet goodbye to him in your head and turn around to face him and kiss his forehead.
At least the last time you touch, it’s soft like that. At least the last time you touch him- it’s gentle.
Yoongi, Jimin, and Namjoon trade-off. A gun shared between the two of them. Perched on the edge of the nest. Eyes on the vacant stairway Infront of them. Listening for every creek and whisper met with a held breath and hand tightening around the gun. Waiting for the violence that you can all feel coming.
You won’t let it hit them; you won’t let it into this house again. Not while you’re still breathing.
When you're sure that Hobi is asleep you roll onto your back and stare up at the Christmas lights twinkling in the dark. You remember watching Jungkook hang them for you. You remember. You'll always try to remember; you promise yourself right then and there that you'll never let the memory slip away. No matter what happens.
You look over at Kookie, face so peaceful in sleep, a pillow hugged to his chest belly down in the nest, cheek squished close to the top of Yoongi's head on your other side. His back rising and falling.
Jungkook has always been a pretty omega. You reach over to him to stroke down the stiff bridge of his nose, to commit his face to memory. When you turn back to Hobi, you do the same, touching across the heart shape of his mouth, the subtle roundness in his cheeks everything. You look around at all of them- your pack, sleeping softly- sleeping safely. Namjoon's wide back, his shoulders that could hold the world up. Unaware that you're watching him.
You’ll remember all of it, every car ride, every trip to the beach. Every joke and jab. You’ll store each of the memories like a found thing in your pocket. A piece of seashell or sea glass.
You’ll take Jungkook’s laughter and store it- a memory to use when you need to remember that it’s okay to be young for a minute more. When you need to look after yourself you’ll remember how Jin did it and follow his example. And when you need to rest and be soft you'll remember yoongi. You’ll remember Tae like a tube of lipstick and see her every day in the color pink. And Jimin-
Jimin has a hard time sleeping. Even when Namjoon takes the last shift. He sleeps with one hand on a gun, spaced protectively in front of Tae. His bad arm unfolded from his sling. Putting his body between her and the staircase. Namjoon’s heart pulses dully with the knowledge of that when he glances back, just to check and make sure that Tae and Hobi are still breathing. You hide your open eyes from him when he turns, going extra still and feigning sleep.
Namjoon tamps down on his instincts; the last thing he wants is for his scent to go sour and possibly rouse them. But in the quiet, Namjoon's mind has too much room to fan out and overanalyze. Panic is a particularly alluring drug, his mind festers in it. Rolling around in bad ideas the way that Noodle would roll around in a puddle of catnip.
If he got the pack together, put you all in cars, and drove you far far away from here would that be enough to keep you all safe from harm? Or would that only be temporary? Is temporary safety worse when you know what you have to come back to? Or should he just try to talk to these people, barter with them something. Would money be enough? How much wouldn't Namjoon give?
You are dreadfully similar to him. Only his planning stays in its infancy stage.
It isn’t all silent. Noises punctuate the night here and there. Namjoon is so on edge that he all but snaps his teeth at the shadows. An alpha on alert.
Namjoon’s ears perk up at every car that dares to drive by your narrow street, the neighbor two houses to the left who leaves for work in the city at 4:05 every morning, right on time. Noodle and the sound of his scrabbly little paws on the stairs, zooming up and down them until Namjoon gets up to scruff him too.
Your freaking cat does not like Namjoon on a normal day, he's only ever loved you and Hobi and tolerated Tae and Jungkook- condemning all the rest to hisses and claws, but Noodle settles with Namjoon's hand on the back of his neck. "See, that wasn't too hard was it?"
Noodle gives one last half-hearted hiss as Namjoon places him gently in the nest where he stays put after curled up around Tae’s head like a fluffy little hat. Purring and licking at her forehead. All but taunting Namjoon with his yellow eyes. Flinty and knowing in the darkness. Bushy tail flailing every time the alpha glances back.
You think you’re being quiet when you push yourself up onto your hands and knees. Untangling Hobi’s arm from around your waist and pulling yourself to the edge of the bed. He's out cold from the painkillers. Barely even stirring.
Noodle stirs however, darting from the nest with a small murr sound as if to say, "see- she's awake so why can't I be?" Tail raised high as he prances to the doorway.
You look striking in the half darkness, a pair of Yoongi’s green flannel pajama pants rolled up several times to fit properly around your hips. A thin white tank top that's almost falling down one shoulder. Namjoon’s heart pulses dully with the need to hold, the need to protect. He makes a soft noise in his throat and your head jerks in his direction.
You swallow, and your lips look dry, eyes glassy and innocent in their tilt when your mussed hair fluffs over your shoulder. Messy from where Hobi was nuzzling it in his sleep.
“I was just getting a glass of water.”
Namjoon wordlessly holds his hand out to help you get out of the nest without teetering or disturbing the others. Noodle dashes back down the stairs with a soft meow. Tae sighs and re-settles, smacking her lips and Jimin’s arm tightens. Your mate turns face up in the nest, chest rising and falling, mouth opening like he can taste your scent on the air.
Namjoon doesn't doubt he can, honed in on you and focused as he always is.
Namjoon doesn’t let go of your hand when your feet find the smooth floor. Instead, he checks the wounds on your hands and verifies that they’re clotting. The margins slotted together properly for minimal scarring (he'd redone the glue-suture after your shower with only gentle scolding). He presses a kiss to the bandages after they're re-fastened. Letting his lips linger there for a second.
Namjoon has always had big hands, warm and steadying as they cradle yours. Small and chapped and scarred.
Instead of continuing on downstairs, you linger for a second by Namjoon’s side. Eating up every breath he breathes, his scent, and the comfort of having him nearby. Something you know you won’t have forever. (Somehow- you know that this will be the last time that Namjoon holds you. You can wait one minute more. You can give him one more minute). He sets the gun to the side and pulls you between his legs.
“Joonie?” You ask.
Your pack alpha wraps his arms around your waist and nuzzles forward, rubbing his spiky head across your midriff. Nose nudging the dimple of your belly button and the slight pudge there with a quiet happy growl.
Namjoon will never not be happy that he can see the evidence of the pack’s love on you. Will never not feel proud of you and how far you've come. He nuzzles, resisting the temptation to bite and nip with a breath let out through clenched teeth.
Namjoon feels your quiet laugh against his cheek. Your warm soft skin swelling with laughter. Namjoon’s face is blushing red when he pulls back to look at you in the darkness. Corralled in the safe circle of his arms, fingers digging into your hips and squeezing.
“What are you doing alpha?”
“Just thinking- just-” Namjoon’s voice gets so much lower in the nighttime, it's a gravely growl. A sound that paints pictures of lightning and clouds hovering low like a blanket.
“When all of this is over, I want to go somewhere new.” Namjoon's hands tighten on your waist. fingers pressing to either side of your spine, thumbs sitting on the soft bones of your hips. “-With you. Just you. Just the two of us. Maybe.” Namjoon fights back a fresh blush at the confused cock of your head. “Maybe- like- a fancy Airbnb? Or something? Would that be fun? Would you like that?”
You pause, humming. Indulging Namjoon in this as he holds you, fingers rubbing endlessly up and down the sensitive small of your back. Eyes wide and imploring like a child.
You're only too happy to forget for a second and imagine. What would happen if you didn’t leave tonight? What would happen if you found some way out of this?
It’s easy to go further than just thinking about a simple weekend getaway. You Imagine far into the future; a day that you'll never see. A future with Namjoon and the pack. It hits you with such a profound heartache when you think it that you half expect to look down and see your white tank top speckled with blood. The ache so keen and visceral but-
Namjoon would be a good father.
He’d be kind and patient. He’d never snap. He’d never yell. For a moment that’s all you want to think about- not a stupid weekend but a lifetime. A family. A world where you’re never yelled at, where you don't have to be afraid, where nothing is hard, and even if it’s hard you do it together.
If you had pups, you know Namjoon would treat every skinned knee like it was surgery. Would never tell them to walk it off or say it wasn’t that bad. You know that he’d go through every tea party with gusto and stay up late to help them with their homework. That he’d struggle to say no but that you might never need to. It would be lovely- getting to give something small and innocent so much safety. It would be nice to have pups with Namjoon.
You can’t say you don’t want it, but you know in that moment that you won't get it. You'll never get to see Namjoon be a father- even if the pups aren't yours or are just his and Jin's. You’d love them all the same. What use is it to Imagine things that you’ll never get? What good are dreams like this but to tease you, just out of reach.
Namjoon nuzzles into your stomach again. His nose drawing soft circles just under your belly button.
You’d be a shit mother anyway. Too fragile. Too nervous. Too hurt. Too much of everything. You'd fuck them up just by being you. You'd fuck them up the same way you've fucked up this perfectly good pack. You've brought nothing but destruction upon them. The evidence of your wreckage is everywhere. The bullets in the ceiling, the blown apart door. Your hands and Hobi's throat. All of this is because of you.
You snap back to the present, swallowing down the lump in your throat. You’re gnawing at your own leg to survive. All things that bite cannot resist it. What good does hope do at the end other than to hurt?
You can't resist asking Namjoon for more, curled around you like a protective barrier to keep out all the world's hurts (or to keep you in).
“If we went? Where would we go? If we made it- What would it be like Joonie?”
Namjoon rests his chin on your belly button and looks up at you. Completely unaware of the longing tearing its way through you, of what you’re thinking about. Not just one trip or one year, but ten or twenty or thirty.
“Maybe south, to see the cherry blossoms?”
“We couldn’t go, not without Tae- cuz of the pink, and Hobi- cuz of the flowers”
Namjoon nods, agreeing. “Yeah- she does really like anything that’s pink.” There is a Tae-shaped smile on his face, you can feel it stretching your lips too. But he shakes it off, head bowed before you. Eyes closed against the image.
“Still, somewhere safe and quiet just for us, just for you and I to take a deep breath and-” Namjoon trails off, looking up at you. His eyes sparkle with the idea of it, all the little moments he’s picturing.
A private morning where he wakes up to just you. Where you hog his warm spot and his pillow in the chilly spring air. Your cold toes pressed to his shins with nothing to do but appreciate each other and take your loving slow and intentional. Your body and his body and all the space and laughter that you want in between. An idyllic picture of two young people quietly in love. Gently in it.
After almost losing all of it, he wants the chance to properly appreciate you one-on-one. The others too- but they’re asleep, and sleeping vessels cannot reply to Namjoon’s daydreams. You are the only one awake.
(In Namjoon's fantasy, he'll give each of his packmates a different trip. every one of them even if it's just the ones he's recently almost lost that have him thinking of these particular plans.
Hobi would want just a day trip. Namjoon knows the alpha doesn’t really like to be separated from the pack for all that long, a few hours sure. Maybe to some vintage stores that he’s been eyeing to the city or the botanical garden.
Seokjin he’d take somewhere grand and big and full of adventure, maybe to 6 Flags or something. Jin likes to be reminded that he’s allowed to be a kid again, that he doesn’t always have to look after everyone all the time. That he has Namjoon to lean on.
Tae, he’d take somewhere gilded just as she is, like teatime at the Ritz- or maybe abroad to the castle of Versailles. The hall of mirrors and a million pictures of Tae in pretty dresses, twirling. In Namjoon’s head- he watches her turn and flutter slowly like a top. Spinning and spinning).
But none of that is quite your style. You don't really crave outings or adrenaline or gilded things. Your wants are much more simple maybe- because you've always known how priceless quiet and peace is. Gentleness is all you've ever really wanted- not excitement or acclaim or ego.
“A little cabin somewhere in the mountains, a spot for just us. We wouldn’t even have to do anything, A staycation. A night or two.” As the world spins on, you are who Namjoon craves to be still with.
You swallow hard, lingering, still half leaning over him still. Letting him nose at your jaw and purr.
“That would be so nice Joonie."
You swallow, throat thick with something. You lean forward pressing a kiss- too brief, to his lips, Namjoon’s lips part and he breathes gently. You blink back the glassiness in your eye and hope that Namjoon dismisses it as the light from the moon streaming through one of the skylights. All white and black. Wrenching you through something that feels like film. You commit the feel of him and the sound of his voice to memory and then pull back.
“I really need to get a glass of water.”
Namjoon shifts to get up, to come with you, but you just laugh at him and push at his shoulder, he flops back onto the bed.
“I can go on my own Joonie.” He grumbles but stays put. Nosing at the goosebumps on your arms and leaning to retrieve Hobi’s sweatshirt from where you left it in the nest. It smells like sleeping pups and Jin. Milky and soft and safe. Namjoon’s body shivers happily when he sees you put it on.
You squirm out from between his legs. His palm stays wrapped around the tips of your fingers. They slide out of his a little, and then all the way.
“It’s not safe.” You heave a tired sigh, what he thinks is a tired sigh but is actually you trying your hardest not to cry. You lean over him to grab the gun from where it’s rested against the nesting barrier. Getting your phone while you’re at it and sliding it into the pocket of your sweatshirt.
“Is that better?” Namjoon grumbles but still lets you go. Sitting there on the edge of your nest and guarding the others. You look back at him from the top of the stairs and smile.
The house is quiet, with no creeks on the stairs and no winds blowing across the roof. No sound at all in the house beyond your quiet footsteps that Namjoon listens to as you go down the stairs.
Feeling every second of your distance like the sluggish beat of his heart, thump thump thump. Namjoon looks back to look at his pack. Their bodies curled and resting, so gentle in sleep. After a few minutes, there are footsteps on the stairs, small soft ones.
Thump.
“They’re so beautiful” Namjoon comments to you. Waiting for reply.
The silence gnashes its teeth, still hungry.
When Namjoon turns back, it’s not you standing at the top of the stairs- just Noodle with his tail raised high. His yellow eyes glow almost florescent in the darkness, meowing and hissing so loud it might wake the others.
“Noodle, quiet.” The cat just doesn’t quit, batting at Namjoon’s ankles, claws and all. “Noodle- hush.” He scoops up the fussy cat, but Namjoon’s only reward is some claws to his forearms and some more squirming.
Downstairs, he hears a sound that makes him pause. Instincts going from at peace to on edge.
Thump
The front door opens and closes softly with a soft click of the metal doorknob.
Thump
Namjoon goes to the top of the stairs, holding Noodle in his arms before the cat squirms and falls to the floor with a thud. “Pup?” he calls, hushed. You don’t respond. Only silence greets him, sated at last.
Thump, breath, thud.
Namjoon waits a moment, listening for a response that doesn't come before he goes down the stairs, Noodle nearly trips him on the way down, hissing and pacing back and forth in front of the door. The ground floor of the house is completely absent of you- absent of anyone friend or foe. The room is soaked in the blue darkness of morning that is not quite dawn. The white countertops are unassuming and the plates stay in their places.
Thud.
The couch still has its dark spot from where Jin cleaned it. The tangerines are safely in the bowl back on the counter shining like several small suns or planets. Everything is empty empty empty.
Thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud
Namjoon checks the shoe rack. Your sneakers are missing, the same ones that match Hobi's and usually sit side by side with his. The spot where they should be empty.
Thud
Your wallet is missing from the bowl just inside the door.
Thud
Namjoon looks out onto the street and finds it empty.
Thud thud thud
Namjoon does not panic, Namjoon does not head out onto the street and chase you down- maybe he should have. He should have done any number of things. The sun is just barely rising turning the sky into that honey blue-green color and Namjoon just stands there and stares.
Namjoon is frozen. What kind of alpha is he- why kind of alpha freezes instead of fights or flights?
Thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud
A few minutes pass and something must tip off the packmates upstairs- either the empty nest or the sound of Noodle yowling and quite literally trying to bite Yoongi's ear off.
The next thing Namjoon is aware of is Yoongi is on the stairs, looking pissed off, looking terrified. almost falling down them with the speed at which he descends.
He takes the stairs down two at a time, colliding with Namjoon at the bottom of them. He looks like a puffed-up cat, hair wild and eyes equally as glaring as Noodles when he shakes Namjoon, just a little. “Where is she? Namjoon? Where did she go? Where is my mate!?"
Is it Yoongi's scent- acrid and angry- that knocks him out of his stupor? Or is it the top of his ruffled head almost colliding with the bottom of Namjoon’s jaw when the beta shakes him again.
Namjoon stutters, panic making him inarticulate. So scared he repeats it twice. "I don't know- I don't know, I- she said she was just getting a glass of water. I swear-"
Yoongi's fists tangle in the front of Namjoon's shirt. He sounds sick with it. Voice twisting in pitch.
"You were supposed to keep an eye on her- you weren't supposed to let her out of your fucking sight.”
There are other people on the stairs, roused by the sound of raised voices. A lone light flicked on sends everyone into yellow chiaroscuro. Namjoon is still staring at the street, heart thundering quicker than your footsteps as you run. The streetlights wink out behind you as you go. Fleeing with the night and bowing under the weight of oncoming daylight. Running as fast as your body can carry you.
Could he catch up if he started running now?
It's Jungkook, his dark hair pushed up at the side where it rested against the nest, who asks, “What happened?What’s going on?”
Tae’s eyes dart between Yoongi and Namjoon, her pink silk dressing gown wrapped tight around her shoulders. “Where’s the pup?”
"Yeah Namjoon, where the fuck is my mate??" Yoongi grits his teeth, shaking Namjoon so hard it almost knocks him off his feet and sends him careening a little into the narrow dresser table that the pack keeps by the door for gloves and mittens and keys and wallets.
“I don’t know, I don’t-"
Jungkook and Tae have just spilled out from the stairs into the entryway when Yoongi’s hands hit his shoulders, pushing and then digging into Namjoon’s skin. He’s shaking so hard he can hardly speak.
“You were supposed to be watching her. You were supposed to make sure she was safe-”
“Yoongi- hey- Stop” Tae’s not shaking anymore when gets her hands on his shoulders pulling him away from namjoon where he simmers. Jin is still asleep upstairs. Hasn’t been roused by all the tense voices. Too tired from yesterday- from staying up to scrub blood with Yoongi.
Jungkook skitters to the door as Jimin and hobi descend the steps. nearly bouncing on his heels as he opens the front door letting in a gush of cold air. “What are we waiting for? lets go."
Yoongi's face crumples. “I don’t get it, where did she go- why would she have-”
Hoseok swallows but talks softly, the swelling’s gone down enough even though the bruises look a million times worst in the sunlight streaming through the window. It’s not even 6am yet. His soft hiss is gentle, but the pack pauses to hear it.
“A deal- I think she made a deal.”
It's the first words he’s been able to speak since the attack. Vocal cords straining with every word. Everyone quiets to listen to Hobi. Jimin’s got the shotgun in his hands. He leans it up against the doorway. The heavy thunk punctuates the shocked quiet- but hobi continues.
“When the man was here- she tried to barter our lives with hers." Everyone looks to Tae. And her eyes lower to the floor.
“She did say that but I didn’t think she was serious, I just thought-”
The conversation is a flurry, everyone talking over each other as conversation explodes. Yoongi's face twists from devastated to enraged. “Jesus fucking Christ- that stupid stupid-”
Jungkook clings to Jimin's t-shirt, “What are we going to do? Hyung- what should we-”
Jimin hasn't spoken a word yet, and softly draws Jungkook's hands away from his shirt. “Where would she even have even gone?"
“Did someone pick her up?” Hobi’s words seem to ring out, even though his voice is so fragile.
Namjoon shakes his head. “No- I was listening, I didn’t hear any car in the road- not for like the whole hour.”
“So, you were listening enough to hear the street but not to stop her from literally walking away from us, great. Good to know Namjoon.”
“Yoongi that is like- the opposite of helpful.”
“There's still the matter of where would she have gone. She didn't take a car-” Hoseok looks up in Tae’s direction. She sees the realization light across his face.
“Hobi?”
But Hoseok ignores her, lurching to the small cabinet by the front door; the pack’s drop-off points for their keys, their wallets and your fuzzy little purse from your first ever date with jimin and tae as well as a good slice of Tae’s collection of little red pocketbooks. They keep their things this way because Namjoon loses his keys at least once a month a nd having a communal spot always helps the general disorder of having 8 people live in one house.
Hoseok scrambles not for your wallet but for his.
He reaches for his wallet. Opening it and searching but-
The train ticket is gone.
Your train ticket- the one that you gave Hobi for safekeeping so many months ago is missing from where he usually keeps it in the last slot. Right next to that folded poem of Tae's and an old gift card. In its place is just a simple folded note, a new piece of paper that hasn’t been worn soft at the edges yet. Torn from the same pad of paper that Jin writes the grocery list on. Hoseok’s hands shake as they fish it out. 5 words that aren’t nearly enough.
I’m sorry, I love you.
You’d never told him that- that you loved him. Not after you’d had sex and he’d confessed. Not in the tangle of moments that followed with Jimin bloody and the pack breaking. You’d never spilled your heart to him that way. In the back of his head, he realizes that there just hadn’t been time.
This is the first time you’ve told Hoseok you love him and maybe the last. Hoseok’s heart beats quick. She loves me. Thump. She loves me. Thump. She loves-
Hoseok shoots off like a bullet out the open door, thundering across the porch slats. Too fast for the rest of the sleepy pack to properly anticipate and follow. Peering out after him, a little sluggish and a lot shocked. His socks skid and slip as he tries to arrest his momentum and almost falls as He doubles back for his shoes.
The rest of the pack stares down at him blankly as he tugs them on, sprawled there on the floor just outside the door. Hands shaking too much for bunny-eared loops. He doesn’t even bother to lace them before he’s lunging for his car keys in the bowl too. Nearly knocking over the table in his haste.
“The train station- she’s going to the train station.” He gasps.
The words you shared that night ring in his head, playing on repeat. Like a record that’s been scratched too many times. He’s replayed those moments too many times. He’s not sure if he remembers it correctly.
“Give me one chance, let me try to convince you to stay and if I can’t- then I’ll let you go, and I won’t tell Yoongi what train you took.”
The countless times you’d joked with him after that, the moment so light that Hoseok didn’t notice the weight behind them.
“You still got that train ticket?”
“Of course I do.”
Hoseok never thought that you’d use it. He thought that the ticket would have stayed frayed and pretty in his wallet until you framed it or something. Until you could look back on it and laugh and say things like “remember that night? Remember how it used to be before we loved each other?”
“No, I don’t, can you remind me?”
This is not that, this is not the future that Hoseok had imagined for the two of you. This abject terror. Suddenly Hoseok is unmoored, suddenly he is falling. Usually, you can see the end from a mile away. Is it worse if you lose the person you love because of circumstance or because they decide to leave on their own? Hoseok never thought you'd actually do it.
Hoseok thought your promise last night meant something. Later when he’s not so scared he’ll remember that he’s angry about that.
The rest of the pack explodes too. Jungkook doesn’t bother to put on his shoes- just heaves Hobi up by his shoulders and pushes him towards his car. Yoongi snatches both of their pairs from the floor and joins them. Cold feet on the small pea-gravel driveway. Jimin darts forward wrenching off his arm sling regardless of Namjoon’s protests.
“I’ll drive” Jimin doesn’t have to wrestle with Hoseok’s keys for long. Even with his hands numb Jimin is still the best driver. He won’t pull corners or care about hitting curbs. He reeves it with a roaring purr while the rest get in and looks at Tae in the rearview mirror. Standing on the porch looking breakable and not all there still. Her eyes on his have that same peculiar weight, the same weight that makes Jimin’s blood sing with purpose.
If there was ever someone that Tae needed, it was you. Not Jimin. He will haul you back from the edge of hell if he needs to, for her. because this is not the ending that you and tae deserve. Jimin will tear you from hell. Teeth and sin and all.
Jungkook has barely shut the door before Jimin peals out, reversing until the tires screech against the asphalt and leave dark lines in their wake. Tire tracks, strings of fate, shoelaces. He shoots off down the street and out of sight, knocking over a trash bin with a clang and leaving Tae and Namjoon back on the porch.
Hoseok knows the name of the station you were most likely to go to but not how to get to it. It's an 15 minute walk, maybe a 10 minute run and it's already been 8 since you left. Jimin points his car in the direction of the main road while he pulls it up on his cell phone.
With every sharp turn Yoongi and Jungkook slosh in the back seat and hit into each other. Some early morning commuter honks his horn at Jimin but he doesn’t even see them. The scenery flickering by and the asphalt melting away underneath the wheels of Hoseok’s red car. The small grey towns melt away, Break lights bleeding less than they should. The engine stutters and engages but no one cares about the uneven acceleration. Hoseok would total this car in a heartbeat if it meant getting you in time.
At the straightaway Jungkook stoops to slip his feet into his shoes, Yoongi holding his shoulder. The phone in between them slides on the leather seat, spitting out its electronic voice, overly cheerful.
"Re-routing!"
“Wait Minnie- go left.”
“Fuck!” Jimin makes the turn just barely, sparks skittering and burning out as he goes over one of those tiny reflective dividers. Hoseok curses every pothole for damaging their momentum and slowing them down.
“Are you sure? Are you sure that it’s this station that she'd go to?” Hoseok’s heart is thundering in his ears, beating furious and fast.
“Almost positive.” Yoongi holds onto the back of Hoseok’s chair to keep himself in place.
“We have to get to her before she gets to the city. Can’t you go any faster?” Jimin jerks the wheel around a flashy BMW. Almost hitting them with how close he gets. Jimin lets the speedometer answer Yoongi's question. Pushing 60 in a 35 and then 70.
Your note is crumpled tight in Hoseok's fist, a tiny bit of yellow paper that he unfolds and looks at before shoving deep within the confines of his jacket.
Yoongi is not looking at hoseok when he says his next sentence. Hoseok's not even thinking about his old pack, he's just thinking about the fact that you love him and he never got to hear you say it. Not when Yoongi pulls himself almost between his and Jimin’s seat and repeats the same to Jimin again, the same only different.
Thud.
“We have to get to her before Moonbyul does, if she gets to her- I don't know what I'll be able to do Minnie- even with the power that I have Moonbyul still has more-”
Hobi’s flinch is visceral, jerking like he's shocked.
He turns around to look at Yoongi as Jimin blows through a stop sign and then a red light. Jungkook winces and doesn’t say anything. Pushing Yoongi’s shoes across the seat. “Hyung- you should get ready to run.”
Hoseok and Yoongi look at each other. Hoseok's turned almost all the way around in his seat to stare at Yoongi- more specifically Yoongi’s mouth. He’s not sure if Jimin’s painkillers would make him hallucinate but that’s the only logical reason his brain can come up with after hearing that name- her name- come out of Yoongi’s mouth.
“What?"
Jimin's voice is deathly quiet. "Hoseok- turn the fuck around. If I get into an accident at this speed you will die if you're not facing forward to the airbag."
Hoseok turns back to face the road. Jimin grips the wheel so hard his knuckles are white. “Thank you.”
The sunlight is just cresting the tops of the trees. Dotting the scenery blue and yellow. Hoseok’s ears are ringing with her name.
Yoongi pulls himself closer to Hoseok, hands still gripping the headrest, the only thing that keeps him from bobbing and moving with the movement of the car. Eyes locked on Hoseok's face in the rearview mirror.
"I said something- I said something and you're having a thought."
"I fucking hope so-" Jungkook's quip goes unnoticed. Unnoticed through the volley of honking horns as the red car tares through the street. By some miracle, they haven’t passed a cop car yet.
Hoseok looks in the rearview mirror, at Yoongi’s face. Biting his lower lip. “It’s nothing just that name.”
Hoseok looks at Yoongi and all he can think about is how he'd never said- he'd never told Yoongi their names. Saying them or even thinking them reminds Hoseok too much of his own begging. What kind of alpha begs for an omega to hurt them- to stay?
Yoongi just about puts himself in the front seat of the car as Jimin breaks hard to navigate around a tractor-trailer. Riding on the shoulder, the rumble strips vibrating all of them hard and roaring just like Hoseok’s blood thundering through his ears.
“Moonbyul? Moon Byul-yi? You know it?”
Hoseok shivers, the reaction of his body route, unavoidable. Jarring. Trauma builds itself into your bones whether you like it or not. Triggers are not so much a part of you as they are a light switch that makes the worst parts of you turn on.
"Yeah- I do. It’s the name of my ex-pack omega.” Now it’s Jimin’s turn to be distracted, and he almost gets into an accident for his troubles. They’re silent for a second, Yoongi and Jimin look at each other.
“It could be the same name.”
Yoongi scrambles for his phone on the seat right as Jimin makes a turn and it goes flying. He finds it underneath Hoseok’s seat, hands slippery with sweat on it.
“Hang on, I think I have a picture of her somewhere.”
Yoongi scrolls all the way to the back in his phone. Switches to Instagram, going back and back and back through time, and then he's sticking it in Hoseok's face.
Seeing her face feels like Yoongi’s slapped him. Her face is on Yoongi's phone. Why is her face on Yoongi’s phone? Her hair is longer than it was when they dated, she must not have cut it since. But it's definitely her.
Hoseok feels like he's spinning, it's been so long since he's seen her face but it's definitely the one from his nightmares, the one he sees grinning and crooning false praises that have stuck to Hoseok's soul like glue. The face that he sees behind his eyes and sees in every criticizing comment only on his bad days. She's standing shoulder to shoulder with Yoongi, both of them in black suits along with a man that looks enough like Yoongi for him to guess that that's his brother, your ex-husband.
Your abuser and his and Yoongi in between them. Hoseok can only hear ringing in his ears, he knows he sounds accusatory when he snaps. "How the fuck do you know my ex-pack omega?"
“She’s my cousin. Are you sure that's her?”
Hoseok feels like he’s spinning. “Yeah, I'm sure.”
“I thought you said your old pack was all omega’s?” Yoongi knows Hoseok’s lore, knows it like he knows the back of his hand. He looks up, hair falling across his face. Hoseok frowns jabbing his finger at the phone.
“I did. She’s an omega.”
The dissonance hits him and Yoongi almost wants to disagree but then-
Hoseok watches the lightbulb go off, Yoongi’s eyes widening imperceptibly as he paws at the phone and Hoseok’s hand. The car sickness lurches in his stomach as he turns to look back at Yoongi, and the g force hits him as Jimin takes another turn Impossibly fast. The seatbelt across Hobi’s chest engages with a click, digging into his skin and the bruises on his neck with a painful jerk.
“Are you sure? Hoseok- you have to be sure.”
“I’m sure.”
This is all a game of leverage. A game of who knows what secret and what gets exchanged for whom. Yoongi spent most of last night wondering about Moonbyul's motivation, and now he knows why.
Hoseok is holding onto Yoongi’s phone, they’re hands gripping it together. “Is this who she’s going too? The one who tried to kill us? Is-” Hoseok has to swallow to get the words out right. “Is Moonbyul the one trying to take her?”
“Yes.”
Hoseok shivers, eyes darkening, scent spiraling wildly. His muscles trembling as he thinks about it. You and Moonbyul.
Yoongi pulls himself around Jimin’s headrest. Hand on his throat, digging into his scent gland. He doesn't have time to explain to them.
Only alphas can lead the family, only alphas can rule. If Moonbyul isn't one- that calls into question the legitimacy of her rule. The families would never stand to see an omega on the throne, she'd be ousted, probably killed for daring to lie. The families would tear her apart piece by piece and Yoongi would let them.
If Moonbyul is the person who hurt Hobi- and now she's going after you- that's two people that Yoongi loves that she's directly hurt. Yoongi is thinking all sorts of dangerous things. But they have to get to you first.
If Moonbyul isn't an alpha then Yoongi's just found his leverage and maybe the whole reason why the pack was targeted in the first place.
A packmate for a secret. Yoongi imagines the worst-case scenario; Don't tell and I won't hurt her. Don’t tell anyone and she lives.
How long had she stewed and festered- knowing that Hoseok was out there- knowing that he knew the secret that could lead to her undoing. Maybe she thought his knowing would never come back to bite her, and had intended on tying up the loose end later. Maybe she didn't know Hoseok had found his way into Yoongi's arms until after the old Don and Beta had died. She probably thought that they’d never put it together- at least not until it was too late.
Whatever her reasons, this has gone on long enough.
Yoongi opens his mouth, but Hoseok’s body is taught like a spring-loaded and ready to burst. His voice a near growl.
“Jimin, I need you to drive.”
~-~
Tae and Namjoon are left standing there on the porch. Namjoon left staring after them as they hurl away from the house. Running his hands through his hair hard. Thinking of what to do until-
Tae tugs on his sleeve, “Your phone- Joonie- you should call her.”
“Right- fuck-” Namjoon goes and gets it, and comes back to stand with Tae on the porch. “Come on- come on pick up.” Namjoon paces back and forth on the front porch, the snowmelt from the roof drips out an uneven rhythm onto the railing. the cold spray hitting his stress-warm skin.
Tae stands by the door. Frozen, a statue of Namjoon’s distress. Inside, Namjoon hears a voice. Jin coming down the stairs, probably roused by the sound of the car screeching out of the driveway and down the road.
“Tae? Where is everybody?”
“Pup’s being stupid. The others left to go get her before she’s like- really really stupid.”
Jin freezes in the doorway, fist rubbing his eye. He sounds smaller and younger than Namjoon’s ever heard him. “Am I having a bad dream?” namjoon's pacing stutters and then starts up again. Jin doesn't need him right now, Jin he can help later.
Tae takes Jin's hand and leads him to the outdoor furniture. The cushions have to be damp but they sit anyway. Tae pulls her knees under her and rests her cheek on Jin's shoulder. “That’s what I thought too at first.”
Namjoon almost sobs when he hears it- the click of the dial tone and a single breath. He can hear the thud of the train in the background, the hiss of pressure against the scratchy speaker.
“Pup? oh thank god, stay where you are- the others are-”
“Namjoon? Joonie stop- I didn’t pick up so that you could convince me to come back. I only picked up because I never said goodbye.”
Namjoon freezes, and he feels like the snowmelt from the roof has just dripped down his back. Growing frigid more with each word. If there was ever a question on if you’d gone willingly or been taken- it was answered with that.
“Pup, come home right now or I swear to god-”
“No! For once you’re going to listen!” You’ve only shouted at him a handful of times and he’s hardly ever heard you sound so serious.
"No- you can't-"
“Namjoon, The second you say anything to try and convince me to stay is the moment I hang up, so what is it gonna be?”
Namjoon goes silent and stops his pacing. Holding the phone so hard it feels like the plastic and metal might break.
Namjoon’s very being hinges on every syllable you say, Like the ocean hinges on the moon. Water tethered and kept from the shore by something as simple as gravity. Tae is right there. Tae is watching the driveway not saying anything with that same blank look Namjoon has seen on your face countless times.
All at once Namjoon is reminded of you in the summertime back when he first met you and trauma had you all quiet. Staring off into space in much the same way. Small and fragile and worth saving. You’ve always been that for him; worth saving.
Jin scrubs a hand across his face, clearing himself of the last little bits of sleep. He holds out his hand for the phone, but Namjoon doesn’t give it to him just paces right by him as he listens to you.
“I only picked up the phone because I have some things that I want to say to you.”
You sound more settled and less angry but just as resigned and convicted of what you're doing. Like no part of you doubts your choices. Namjoon wishes you sounded angry, that you sounded sad, but you don’t sound like any of those things.
“I'm not leaving because I think I don't deserve a life with you and the pack. I’m not leaving because I think that I’m not worth your love. I’m leaving because for the first time I know that I am.
“For the first time I understand why Yoongi left and why he didn’t come back until he knew it would be safe. Because when you love something the way that I love you, you’ll do anything to protect them. Can you really blame me Joonie? For doing what you might have done?”
You continue on like you’re not wrenching Namjoon’s heart clean from his chest. Like you’re not a hurricane on his very being- dark and thunderous tearing through him as impersonal as wind. Namjoon’s heart thuds and thuds and thuds.
“Before I leave you, I want you to know that if I loved you less- I might have stayed.”
Namjoon’s lungs ache, ache and sting and swell with words he can’t say, he can’t breathe. His mouth screwed into a soundless sob. He actually might be having a panic attack. He's never had one before- he's not sure if he knows what one feels like. If it's like this- if it's like this he can understand why people call them an attack.
It's frantic, like he's chewing off his own leg to get out of your words. The panic is so terrible. Namjoon hasn't been this scared since he was a child. At least Yoongi had the fucking decency not to make his leaving so visceral.
Namjoon is bent over, tears dripping down his nose, sagging almost to his knees. “Why are you doing this to us!? To me!”
Something jiggles the phone, something that makes your voice all warbly- Namjoon imagines you on the train in a window seat. Resting your cheek against the balmy glass while you talk to him. Staring out at the scenery racing by. Hurtling towards your future like a comet or maybe an asteroid (something more destructive- more appropriate for the wretchedness filling Namjoon’s lungs like tar, the desiccated bodies of the dreams he had for you and the plans he made with you in mind clogging his lungs and making it hard to breathe).
Who knows, maybe off between the trees and the road, you see a red car zooming, trying to keep pace with the train.
Namjoon’s heart feels like it’s skipping too many beats.
“Something Jin told me the other day got stuck in my head and I keep thinking about it, would you like to hear it?”
You take his silence for permission and Namjoon does not turn to look at Jin and Tae sitting on the outdoor furniture. They just sit there; they don't do anything. Namjoon wishes there was something they could do or something he could barter for your safe return but you already have all of him and all of him wasn't enough to make you stay.
“Jin showed me this little article the other day- a few weeks ago now. He can tell you it in more detail but basically, it was about these mice.”
Namjoon struggles to say something- unsure where you’re going with this but desperate to keep you on the line. At least until the others get to you. Drinking down your voice, the whisper of your breath, everything.
“They made like- two test groups, they wanted to measure like- willpower- or how long they would try to live before they gave up. It’s kinda dark I guess. I'm not a good judge of things like that you know.”
Your laugh is the prettiest and saddest thing that Namjoon’s ever heard. He wants to record it and save it for later like some hidden track and he never wants to hear it again.
“Anyways- they put the mice and a bucket of water and timed how long it took for them to stop swimming, to stop trying to live. They’d try for a little while but give up pretty quickly. Like- an hour. That’s how much will to live that they had: an hour’s worth of it.”
Namjoon breaks, shouting, “I don’t want to talk about mice I want to talk about getting you the fuck home!”
Namjoon can hear your smile in your voice, And no-no-no you won’t even let him fight- you won’t even let him snap at you and engage with it. Namjoon’s seen you sad, he’s seen you defeated. He’s seen you so hungry you could hardly hold your head up. But seeing you convicted of this punishment is worse than anything.
“Anyway- they just killed the first group for a baseline. But with the second group just before they died- just before they went underwater- They took them out of the water and dried them off.”
Your voice goes hushed at the end. The morning sunlight cuts across the top of the house yellow. The tree too- it’s early morning- Namjoon’s favorite time of day and he won’t be ever able to properly enjoy it again. Won’t ever be able to wake up at this time of day and not think about the morning you left.
“They let them rest and gave them some food.”
Namjoon feels like he’s about to have a heart attack, blood thumping and hitting against his ribcage. Bullying out the flowers and the butterflies in his stomach.
“Cuddled them a little.”
Namjoon stands at the doorway to the pack den. Hands so tight in their fists that they ache and ache. Namjoon’s hands have saved countless people’s lives before, and they’ve saved yours too- but right now they just hurt.
“And when they put them back in,”
Noodle meows dolefully from the door, swatting at Jin’s ankles and then purring around Tae’s. Namjoon’s knees are shaking.
“They lasted for a whole 12 hours longer. Because they thought they might be saved. Because they had some love to remember. They were able to last for a lot longer than they would have otherwise.”
His face is screwed something terrible with how hard he’s sobbing. How is it that just an hour ago you were safe in his arms, talking about getting away from here. Just an hour ago. It's still 5am a time zone away, if Namjoon got on a plane and flew there- would you still be safe? Is there any way to turn back time?
You only get to love people for as long as you get and not a second more. You get what you get and you don't get upset. Yoongi might have been your lifeblood, the air in your lungs and your reason for existing, but you’d still be that fragile creature close to drowning if it wasn’t for Namjoon.
“Namjoon?” You say his name once and then softer, a croon. “Joonie.”
He's sobbing too hard to see, “Don’t-”
“Thank you for drying me off.”
The phone clicks and disconnects.
Namjoon falls to the stairs, ass in a puddle but none of him cares. He remembers the first day he heard you speak, sitting on these stairs while he helped Yoongi fix the railing. Namjoon remembers the summer heat and feeling scared for you for the first time- because the railing felt so rickety and the last thing he wanted was for you or Jungkook or Hobi to fall. Namjoon is the one who is falling, hurtling towards destruction that stops and ends with his heart.
His hands hurt. He remembers laughing with the others and stealing sips of sweet tea. Nibbling on the sour lemons, sweaty and hot and dusty. His eyes feel like they’re going to fall out of his head with how hard he’s crying. He remembers that you’d poked his dimples and called them pretty, he remembers feeling tired after but fulfilled for it.
One scene in summer and the other in winter now. At the beginning of a relationship and now at the end. The stairs still creek, the wind still blows and Namjoon's hands are still sweaty.
Namjoon sobs loudly and it echos across the empty cul-de-sac gut-wrenching. People cry differently when they lose people they love. Namjoon has heard people cry like this after he’s told them bad news, no sign of brain activity. We did everything that we could. I'm so sorry. It sounds different now that it’s coming out of his own mouth.
He actually might pass out with how hard he’s breathing. Teeth dig into his lower lip so hard he tastes blood. He’s still holding the phone to his ear. “Pup- wait- I love you- you can’t do this to us- to me.” But you’ve already hung up on him.
The dial tone tears through him like a bullet. Namjoon should be bleeding, broken hearts don't hurt this much without blood. People don’t hurt this much without actual wounds.
Eventually, something touches his back, a soft furry creature that only makes Namjoon sob harder as Noodle bullies his way under Namjoon’s arm and licks at his fingertips. Before long there’s hands on him. Jin and Tae pull him up and onto the furniture. One hand in his hair and the other on his shoulder. Jin grabs his wrist. Circling it gently before he holds his hands and nudges them until they relax from their clenched fists.
Namjoon cries.
Together they watch the road and wait for the others to return.
~-~
(Hidden playlist ▶ Play track?)
“Shit!”
They miss the first train by just a few seconds. It screeches away from the platform when Jungkook gets out of the car. Standing there for a breath and watching it pull away. The metal thud screech of it drowns out Yoongi’s voice.
Jimin hits the wheel and growls before he revs the engine and turns, almost hitting a fire hydrant with how quick and jerky he backs up and accelerates. Leaning forward through the window to snap at Jungkook.
“Get back in the fucking car!”
Jungkook does, the door barely latching and almost swinging free as Jimin peels out of the parking lot. Slamming back shut when Jimin does a near 180 to accelerate back onto the main road.
“Sorry hyung,” Yoongi doesn’t need to reply- they all know that every second matters.
Jimin almost collides with a car stopped at the light before he drives on the shoulder, spinning around them. The train matches the road at this part of the tracks so it’s easy to follow it. They keep pace with it as Jimin pushes 70 miles an hour and then 80.
Jimin keeps the gas pedal well acquainted with the floor until they're going faster than the train. Weaving in and out of traffic back and forth, getting honked at and almost cut off several times. Leaving his packmates to grip to seats and their handles. Worried about getting thrown off but still- not wearing their seatbelts.
“We’re never going to make it! It’s too fast! We’re going to hit traffic soon!” The closer they get to the city the less likely it is that they'll be able to catch up to you. It's nearly early morning rush hour, another 30 minutes and these roads will be at a standstill.
“Hang on- let me see the map,” Hoseok watches Yoongi look at it.
“If we go to the next station, we won’t make it. But, if we try to go to the one after that and cut it off-” A look around the car says everyone agrees with Yoongi. Jimin steps on it, and there are a terrifying few minutes where Jimin’s driving skills honestly make them all count their prayers and promise things to gods that they’re already not fond of- but when they skitter and screech into the next station he hears it.
“The next inbound train will be arriving shortly, please collect your belongings. And remember-“
Hoseok is hot on the announcements heals. Sliding to get out of the car before it’s really stopped. “If we miss this one just go to the next station without us-”
“-if you see something say something.”
The train is coming- Hoseok can see the lights about a 100 feet down the tracks and it's moving fast. Yoongi almost makes to get out but Hoseok just shoves him back inside. Jungkook gets out of the car too, bolting in the direction of the stairs. “Hoseok-”
“Yoongi- Just go!”
There are maybe three flights of stairs up, then 50 feet across the tracks, and then the same amount of steps down. He and Jungkook book it up them. Making every second count. Hurtling through time and air. Ignoring the sore and tired pulse of their muscles. They’re clearing the top step and the train is below them. A silver bullet careening and destined to do damage but slowing down.
They bolt across the landing past the ticket kiosk and through the push doors. The train is stopping with a hiss of breaks and a screech of metal. A release of pressurized air that billows up to them warm carrying with it the smell of tar and city.
Hoseok’s lungs are burning. Jungkook is usually faster by just a little bit and would be on any ordinary day. They might be roughly the same height but Hoseok doesn't do cardio nearly as often as Jungkook does. Jungkook's the one who runs every day, who does cardio like it's sleeping and marathons like they're mid-afternoon naps. Who works out and hones his body to a lethal edge just because he can.
But he doesn’t run like Hoseok does.
Hoseok runs like his life depends on it- the same way you would run if he was walking into Geumjae’s arms. You’d never let Geumjae touch even a hair on Hoseok’s head and if- if Moonbyul is who you’re going to- then there is more at stake than just your phsyical safety, too much at stake for Hoseok to be held back by his body.
Hoseok thinks of the tiramisu. Of walking with you on the beach. Of making your nightime stacks just the way you like it. Of holding you that one time you almost fell into the water. Telling you that you had to be careful. Hoseok remembers driving out in his car, tugging your seatbelt to make sure it fit snug. Standing with you side by side in the flower refrigerators at work and the feeling the first time you’d rubbed your scent gland to his. Every playlist of his with your name on it, every song that you ever shared. All of that- she’s going to destroy all of that if Hoseok doesn’t get to you in time.
He remembers how small she made him feel. How small you were when he first saw you. He won’t let you get that way again. Hoseok won’t let you disappear.
Jungkook is the one who would win this race on any other day, where the stakes any different, but just this once Hoseok is faster. Hurling himself over the concrete as fast as his body will take him. Hoseok cuts through the air like wind.
They run, feet thumping. Bodies thudding, hearts and lungs delivering oxygen to their needy muscles. Beat-up sneakers gripping the concrete. Down and down the stairs, plummeting. Almost tripping and falling on the slippery concrete steps. The doors start to close just as they round the corner.
By some miracle of blood and sweat, Hobi's the one who overtakes Jungkook. The doors are closing and the train's metal shell is beginning to hum and vibrate as it makes to pull away from the tracks.
In a last-ditch effort, Hoseok throws himself in the direction of the closing doors.
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Do i think that hobi could have actually warned the pack what she was planning to do? Yes. Do I also think that he thought he had more time to warn them and really wanted to sleep off his near death experience? also yes. Namjoon giving him drugs obviously didn't help. i honestly don't think he was thinking clearly.
this is one of those chapters where everything could have gone differently if they'd just been given a little bit more- but i digress- we all know life isn't so neat and tidy.
I can't not write thinking about the angsty alternative ending for bily- but you guys should know the namjoon/m/c scene...if things had gone poorly in this chapter- this would have been the last time they spoke or touched each other for 3 years- for those who are wondering about the alternative ending- i will NOT be posting any of it on AO3. Only on tumblr through asks! i'll try to tag the super triggering stuff but yeah.
when i think of namjoon and the m/c and their relationship- i think that what they want most for each other is to just see the other old and happy like- that becomes the foundation for their relationship. thats why it's namjoon who she thanks. it also doesn't escape me that yoongi is not in this chapter very much- this is intentional. just wait for next chapter and his anger! i swear its so fucking hot my god i really wanted them to fuck in the next chapter but i just don't think it's going to happen.
the og version of this chapter called for jimin parking hobi's car on the tracks and literally letting the train hit it- not derail- but just hit it. just to get it to stop for the m/c however i figured that was going a bit too far.
Me writing any part with jimin in it- "what if i added a bit of religious trauma to it?"
the line where namjoon talks about his hands hurting is like- directly related to me, because my hands didn't hurt all the time before i started writing bily but now my Knuckles hurt almost every morning. After writing for more than an hour they hurt. i guess when you love something enough it hurts you lol i don't mind.
the "you want a lifetime with them" lines are mostly a callback to like...grey's anatomy. namjoon's charecter is LOOOSELY based on mcdreamy of course the whole...neurosurgeon thing and i am 3 seasons into a re-watch so~ you will have to tollerate that cringeworthy refrence~
i've always wanted to structure a chapter around the thud and thump of a heart and yeah!! i think did a few back but i wanted to do it again~
i don't think i was very subtle with the hoseok train station and the train ticket parts of the story like- i think i forshadowed pretty heavily that it was eventually going to be used but! i hope you liked the big reveal.
how did you guys like the cliffhanger? should i spoil it for you when i've always said that bily would get a happy ending????? i mean...come on... we all know hoseok's gonna be fast enough right?
💜💜💜
Before I Leave You (Pt.69)
(Omegaverse au, Mafia au, Bts x Reader)
Summary: The pack meet with moonbyul to discuss terms.
Tags: Violence, Angst with the happy ending on the horizon, fluff if you squint, Yoongi gets really really angry and kinda triggers the m/c, allusions to past abuse, Blood, manipulative behavior, murderous tendencies, trans! tae, Transphobia, Trans! moonbyul,
W/c: 11.5k
A/n: wow something went heavily wrong with the formatting while i was editing this! if you notice any extra lines or weird breaks (especially on mobile) i tried my best! not sure what went wrong but i might just have to physically re-type this chapter again.
Previous part - Masterlist - First part
I’ll let you in on a little secret:
In every other version of this story, Hobi doesn’t get to the door in time.
In every other version, the doors would close and Hoseok would hit them with his fists and yell. Screaming himself bloody and hoarse in the futility of it all. Watching as his future with you melts away at his fingertips like ocean foam, slipping away into the sea like a piece of clear sea glass, disappearing into the deep. They’d miss you at the next station and the one after that too.
In every other version of reality, in every parallel universe, he's too late to save you.
But in this one, he gets his pinky finger between the doors just before they slam shut.
The safety feature that keeps the train from closing on any late passengers shoots open with a hiss of compressed air. It's only open for a split second but Hoseok shoves himself through the 8-inch gap and into the warm interior of the train. Jungkook is left on the other side, banging on the door, running to keep up with the car as it thuds and lurches and starts to speed up.
"Next station" Jungkook’s mouth forms the words but Hoseok doesn't hear him say it over the roar of the train. There’s only a few seconds of them staring at each other. Jungkook’s messy hair flops as he runs. The wetness on his cheeks from frustrated tears glistening in the yellow sunlight before Jungkook runs out of the platform and is left standing there at the edge. Hoseok hurdles on.
Hoseok’s blood is roaring in his ears. He puts his hands on his knees and pants. The thudding momentum of the train makes Hoseok fall over, either that or it's from lack of oxygen. One second he's looking at JK and then next he's sprawled on the dirty linoleum floor before he pulls himself upright.
His throat feels like it’s still swelling a little. He puts his hands there, trying to steady himself. Black spots dance in his vision and he catches himself for a second time on the metal rail as the train rolls and jostles.
When he coughs, there’s dark blood in the palm of his hands. Hoseok wipes it on his pajama pants and starts looking.
He knows he must look like something horrific because an old woman in the first priority row looks at him with a crinkle of concern twisting her face. “Are you alright son?” She asks, voice squeaky.
“Yeah, just a rough morning” he grabs the back of her seat as he sways, steading himself for just a second before he uses the headrest of the seat to pull himself back down the train.
Hobi combs through the train cars slowly, betting that you'll be close to the end. He takes the longer route first, better to go down to the end and work his way back up in case you're in the first three cars, just in case you decide to get off at the next station.
He searches and searches until the fear starts to take hold in his stomach, nausea or maybe it’s just motion sickness.
He draws a bit of attention as he moves. Mostly from adults, the little unpresented pups that jump back and forth between the seats without a care in the world don’t find the bruises on his neck anything out of the ordinary. But an omega pulls his pups into his lap at Hoseok's approach. Hoseok is too sick with worry to pay them any mind.
But Hoseok doesn't need to worry, because he finds you on the fifth train car.
The blue sticky vinyl seats are full of all sorts of people; A stuffy alpha in a suit and a pair of bright yellow headphones. A small elderly omega woman with a big bushel of frizzy hair and about 10 tote bags to her name muddles through her morning commute. Two freshly presented teenagers with patched-up jackets, punky and honest in their aesthetic.
But there- at the end of the car where the booth seats facing each other turn into single rows all facing the same direction. Folded into the window a figure in dark clothes hunched over trying to look as small as possible. Trying to disappear.
Trying to hide.
Anyone would be able to scent the clear and clary smell of distress and loneliness on the air. It’s the same scent that soaks Namjoon’s hospital- noxious and pungent. It hits Hoseok with such a visceral wave that he almost falls over again.
You’re wearing his sweatshirt and Yoongi’s jacket. The hood drawn up over your head to hide your sob blotchy face from the strangers. Sniffling as you look out the window. He sees you wipe your eyes. You don't look up at all. You don't even notice Hobi approaching until he's slipping into the seat next to you and sliding his hand to lace through yours. His knuckle, your knuckle, then his.
You startle. Predictably- your fear response has always been a little bit over the top. You flinch, whirling, starting when you see it’s him. Jerking your hand out of his on instinct and nearly backing yourself into the window. Getting yourself as far away from him on the narrow seat as possible.
He wants to yell at you, he wants to shout at how stupid you are for leaving something good. (Don’t you know how rare good is for people like us? Don’t you want to hold onto it?) All of the shit with his ex- with Moonbyul seems impossible- but you sacrificing yourself for others is not hard for Hobi to believe. That part of this is so painfully logical and so painfully you that if Hobi were less scared right now he might start crying.
You've always thought you were less valuable, less necessary, less loved by the pack. The last one in is the first one out. Hoseok knows you think this because he used to think that way too.
He wants to yell at you but instead his voice comes out soft, the way that the others used to talk to you back when you didn’t speak. Like he's comforting a startled animal. You are a startled animal.
"You used the train ticket" He swallows. It stings. Hurts like a bitch really. Every time he speaks it hurts. "I never thought you'd use it."
Hoseok puts his hand on the seat in front of you blocking you as you try and get up and out of your seat. Moving automatically to get away- to get safe. That might be all that you know how to do- keep yourself safe.
You stand there for a second, in stalemate. Blood drains from your face, and you stare each other down as Hoseok goes from devastated to angry and then sad again. Struggling not to cry. Hoseok doesn’t like to cry- it’s too much like begging. His body asking for what he can’t.
It’s quiet, you have to be quiet here. There aren’t too many people but a few rows in front of you is a pair of alpha's in suits with briefcases. Unseemly eyes could be hidden everywhere so you need to be quiet. Hoseok's voice is quiet anyway. He still can’t speak much above a whisper.
No quicker have you startled than you start to push at him, at his shoulders. Literally trying to push him out of the chair. Shaking your head. "You can't be here Hobi you have to go, they'll kill you-" You start to pull him up to his feet but he makes himself a lead weight.
“No- no I’m not going to let you go.” Hoseok cups your cheek, long fingers rubbing your tears away. The pads of his fingers cradling your cheek. Soft skin, your cheeks have always been so soft. Hobi’s brain gets caught on the sensation.
"This is how this is going to work; we're going to get off at the train station- and then with any luck- Yoongi and Jimin and Jungkook will already be there and we're going to go home, okay?" He tilts his face, trying to get a better look under your hood, lower lip wobbling, voice breaking, “You have to come home with me, okay?”
You’re trembling so hard that Hobi can feel it as he holds your face, shaking your head stubbornly.
"Hobi, if I don't go. Jimin’s going to die, you're going to die, Jin’s going to die. I can't not do something. Don't pretend one life outweighs three."
"I can't let you go."
You lean into his hand. Has Hoseok ever cupped your cheek before or is the first time he's touched you this way? He can't remember. There are so many firsts that he can't remember. So many firsts that haven't happened yet. Slipping through his fingers like water.
"And I can't let you die."
Hoseok holds your cheeks, thumbs skimming up and down your cheekbones, a little more hollow than usual. These last few days have stretched all of you thin and honest. The truth does not feed you, like subsiding off of air. This truth is not one that he wants to share but-
Yoongi had looked a little shocked when he’d told him, that kind of shock that sort of feels vindicating- like you matter. Hoseok doesn't understand why Moonbyul being his ex matters. But Yoongi's reaction makes him think it is.
The light fills the train car honey golden slipping away to the clean brightness of a winter day. The light flashing through the trees like some sort of strobe light, flickering across both of you here- at the back of the train where there is no one to overhear.
Hoseok pulls himself closer to you, his lips brushing your ear. "I never told you- the name of my old pack omega but I think you know her.”
The train hisses and shrieks and your hand settles over Hoseok’s bruised wrist.
“I think you know her very very well because Yoongi said you do."
Hoseok pulls you flush against him, across the seat, your foot hitting his ankle, and whispers it into your ear.
"Her name was Moon Byul-yi."
You freeze in his hold, trembling, and he pulls away to watch the visceral realization dawn on your face. You're smart. The Moonbyul he knew would have never thought to anticipate that either of you was smart. Haughty and superior to the last inch. She’d have assumed that she had the upper hand like all narcissists do. Why would prey know anything about the hunt?
You panic, your conviction is slipping away, Hoseok can see you’re struggling to hold onto it. “Hoseok- you don’t understand, I have to do this, I need to.”
He takes your hand in his. “Okay- if you want to go then I’m coming with you.”
“Hoseok.”
He shakes his head and brings the back of your hand up to his mouth to run his lips along your knuckles. Gripping it tight. Your bones and his bones all aligned, the sunburn on the back of his hands that’s always sort of there from driving and the faint scars that line your hands from cooking. Both self-inflicted and accidental.
(Love is that way too, either something that you seek out or something that happens to you. You are the best thing that’s ever happened to Hoseok, you could never be the worst).
There is one scar at the bottom of your hand and the bottom of his; a line across his right palm and a line across your left one- both gotten the night that you tried to take the train. You didn’t take the train then but you’ve taken it now.
You’ve made your choice and Hoseok makes his. “Either together or not at all.”
Hoseok rationalizes it by thinking- If you were going back to Geumjae and if he was still alive, you’d never let him walk into his clutches. You would never let Geumjae lay a hand on him, so he won’t let you go to her. Will do everything in his power to get you off of this fucking train.
“I’m sorry, Hobi- I’m-”
He pulls himself closer to you. Lips touching your temple just like the sunlight. Your warm thigh pressed to his warm thigh.
“You have nothing to apologize for. Nothing to make up for. If we want to survive this then we need to do it together.” Hoseok presses a kiss to your hairline and lets it linger there. “I won't haunt you if you won't haunt me."
“You don’t understand-“
“Why? Why do you have to be the one? If you can answer me that honestly and in a way that makes sense, then I’ll let you go.” Hoseok says the words as he drags his nose across your hairline in a small scent mark. A growl rolling in his throat. His hand itching towards the back of your neck- if he were able to scruff you- he could drag you off this train with or without your say-so.
Hoseok won't do that to you unless it's absolutely necessary. He won't scruff you maliciously but honestly, he'd damn the consequences at this point. You know the risks, and yet you let his hand settle on the back of your neck. He doesn't scruff you yet.
You are on the train now, but you could get off of it. Hoseok managed to convince you once he can convince you again. You do not respond to him, but he doesn’t need you to. He continues on word vomiting out his feelings. Drenched half in panic and half in fear that if he stops talking you’ll tell him something heartbreaking. Hoseok can’t handle any more heartbreak today.
"I know you’ve been in a lot of pain. I’ve known it since the first day I met you. But this self-sabotage- sacrificing yourself because you think your life isn't worth risking the rest of ours- this isn’t the way to do it. This isn’t the way that you get out.”
This is the question that you’ve been asking the whole time he’s known you. All of this is just trying to get out of the holes that you dig for yourself. The graves that you haunt. Graves of things that might have been and the things that should or shouldn’t have happened to you.
Your voice is so small and quiet, your palm in his tightens just a little bit. “How do I? How do I get out?”
"You can start by just getting off this fucking train."
You eye him like you think it’s impossible like it can’t possibly be that easy.
The announcer overhead is telling you you’re almost to the next stop. To mind the gap and such. The same way people mind children and precious objects. Mind the gap. Such a strange turn of phrase. How do you treasure the space between one motion ending and the other beginning? The end of one place and time and the beginning of another.
“How do I do it? How do I-”
Hoseok laces his hand with yours again and pulls you up onto your feet. The train is slowing. “I’ll show you just- follow me. I’ve got you.”
I’ve got you.
You do follow Hobi, you follow Hobi off the train as he coxes you softly onto the platform and onto the frosty tracks. It’s mid morning by now and the sun is streaming in that bright yellow way when he tugs you up the stairs slow. Slow because he still has to. His body aches from yesterday. Both of you are bruised and tired but together. Clinging to each other- his hand and your hand and not a breath of space between.
In the parking lot, there is a red car double parked across the lines closest to the stairs. Jimin and Yoongi and Jungkook are already standing outside, the doors blown open. Jimin falls into a squat the second he sees you. Head in his hands. Running through his hair and tugging. A cigarette discarded on the concrete bouncing before it rolls to a stop and burns.
“Oh thank fucking god, Tae would have fucking killed me-”
Jungkook groans and rests his head on the hood of the car, hitting it with an open-palmed slap. It echoes in the empty parking lot.
"That sentence is substantially less funny today than it would have been yesterday.”
Yoongi is just staring at you fists and shoulders tight. You watch him swell the closer that you walk. Every step made in trepidation. He's breathing heavy, eyes wild with panic and anger and his hair stands on end. His eyes are bloodshot and his scent is almost acidly salty. The kind of salt that guides metal to rust and break. The salt that melts cities. That crunches under your feet next to dark puddles from snowmelt.
When you're 3 paces away he seems to break, stalking up to you and jabbing a finger in your face. “If you ever pull a stunt like that again I swear I’ll-” Yoongi breaks himself off. Shaking so viscerally that it's hard for you to keep your hands by your side. but you stand your ground as Hoseok swats yoongi's jabbed finger away. his other hand tightly laced with yours.
“Yoongi, let’s just get into the car and go home- please. Let's not talk about this here.” The parking lot is mostly empty, but the danger still lingers. There’s too much to talk about. Moonbyul's name rings in Hoseok's ears like the subtle hum of hearing loss, like a high-pitched shriek. There are things more important than Yoongi's anger.
But Yoongi’s not done with you- oh- he’s boiling with rage. Shaking with it as he opens the door for you, every action, every little moment restrained. His anger is palpable. You get into the back of the Lamborghini and Hobi follows.
You can tell he wants to slam the door but doesn't. He shuts it extra extra soft but you flinch anyway. He gets into the driver's seat every moment controlled but tense, like he'll explode if he moves with any more energy than necessary, a firework with a fuse burned all the way down just begging for heat.
Yoongi waits for everyone to buckle their seat belt but you don’t, frozen watching him in the window and then the rearview mirror when he gets into the front seat. Yoongi doesn’t even get around to starting the car. Sliding the key home but the beep goes once, twice, and then a third time because you don't have your seatbelt buckled. The others wait in silence.
“Yoongi-“
“Fuck!” He kicks open his door again with a stream of spat explicatives. Slamming it shut this time. The others don't say anything, completely silent in the face of his anger.
Yoongi doesn't get angry. You've never seen him like this before. He wrenches your door open and for a horrible moment, you think he's going to yank you out of the car and tell you to get lost.
Yoongi's murmuring things to himself, so low that you almost can't make out what he's saying as he pushes himself into the backseat. The backseat of the Lambo isn’t that large. Hardly big enough to fit two people let alone four.
Jungkook lets out a belated “Hey!” at being squished up against the door but Hoseok just reaches around him and unlocks it for him to get out. Jimin is already out of the passenger seat and heading in the direction of the driver's side as Yoongi scrambles with your seat belt, jerking it over your shoulder and slamming it home.
"-Fucking asshole- of all the stupid omegas in the world I had to be mated to the fucking- dumbest- little- fucking-" The belt digs into your shoulder extra tight and Jimin starts the car wordlessly.
You're closed in on both sides by him and Hobi on the other. They switch and shuffle. Jimin pulls away from the train station, gentler this time but still faster and with more finesse than you'd do it. Yoongi is still looking at you, glaring, tears in his eyes with wet cheeks, his voice low and uncompromising.
“Give me your phone.”
“My what?”
“Your. Phone. You used it to call her didn’t you?” You nod after a second, slowly pulling it from your sweatshirt pocket and handing it over.
Yoongi takes your phone and breaks it over his thigh.
It’s a bit impressive really- the show of strength. He brings it down once and the screen breaks, winking out like a shooting star. Another and it bends just a little, a third time- and it's practically at a right angle. It breaks so easily in the face of adrenaline and anger and fear.
You make a small noise, not a whimper but a descending sound. Yoongi raises his eyebrows at you, wild. Like he’ll break even further if you complain. Hoseok’s not sure he’s ever seen Yoongi this broken.
"Just- There were pictures of Noodle and Tae on there.”
Fear and anger are an intoxicating mix to anyone- let alone someone who almost lost their person. He goes at your phone until its jagged edge bites into his hand drawing blood. Then he tosses both pieces of your phone onto the floor of the car like they're paperweights.
One of the pieces hits your shoe with a small metal clink, and even Hobi looks down in surprise at the sound.
Yoongi laughs and then bends over. Yanking the gun out of your boot. Small, shoved there. Hoseok didn’t notice. He's not sure why it surprises him- that you'd be armed. You're not an idiot, you know the risks, and you were armed the last time that you tried to run away.
He holds it out to you, long fingers wrapped around the barrel pointed at his chest. The handle facing you, the barrel of the gun level with his heart.
“You want to do the honors sweetheart?"
Jungkook’s worrying away at his lower lip, turning around, nervous. “Yoongi-" but Yoongi just holds a finger out, cutting him off. He's watching you, waiting to see what you'll do.
Jimin very gently reaches back and takes the gun from Yoongi. The beta lets him. Jimin flicks the safety off with a twitch of his thumb. And takes out the magazine one-handed that he hands to Jungkook before he puts the body of the gun barrel down in the cup holder where it rattles freely.
“Don’t fucking do that. we do not point guns at ourselves or each other in this pack.”
Yoongi hardly looks mad, he hardly reacts to Jimin at all. Jungkook's eyes flicker nervously from Jimin to Yoongi, then to Jimin's shoulder.
Jimin's flush sits on the top of his cheekbones, "Jin-hyung gets a pass obviously."
You quirk an eyebrow at your mate, not impressed in the slightest, not even intimidated truly. Hoseok doesn’t think you’ve fought since you tried to leave the first time.
“You didn’t really expect me to go unarmed, did you? Thought I could at least take one of them out- at least Moonbyul before they-” Jimin breathes hard through his teeth and Hoseok actually laughs, although he sounds a little unhinged. Yoongi runs his hands through his hair, pulling a little.
“I didn’t expect you to fucking leave me either but here we fucking are.” Yoongi has never raised his voice with you- he never raises his voice period. But anger and terror have made his words sloppy where usually they strike exact.
In the mirror, you see Jungkook’s jaw clench as Jimin accelerates home a little faster. Yoongi crowds you against Hoseok. Resting his forehead against yours, you can hear the grit in his teeth as he grinds them together nearly spitting, but it’s quiet.
“If you try something like that again, you will see a side of me that I do not want to show you. Do you understand?”
That makes you unnerved, and makes your lower lip start to tremble. Your “Yes.” Comes out so quiet that Hoseok is sure Jimin and Jungkook can't hear it in the front seat over the Lambo's purr.
You’re unable to meet his eyes, Yoongi has never been rough with you, but he’s shaking with the effort to hold himself back from screaming, yelling, crying. There are no words for you, no words that he could ever say that might hold you. He is so angry he can’t even fucking speak.
For a terrible moment, you think that he's going to hit the seat in front of you. But then he tucks your hair behind your ear out of your face so that he can look at you properly.
This is Yoongi's karma for leaving the pack all those months ago. He's come to know their pain so keenly, this was only a few hours of what they endured but still- this is exactly like that.
“You know- I’ve never wondered if you need me, but sometimes I wonder if you love me at all.”
His hand slides down your cheek, gentle in the way that he goes, and it hurts so much more than a slap or punch ever would. It stings. Everywhere Yoongi touches you stings.
“I know you don’t love me the way that I love you- I’m not that dumb, but-"
Your face screws into a whimper, and you can't whisper out that you're sorry quick enough. Yoongi guides your forehead back to rest against his. Still angry, still spitting the words like they take something from him. You should deny what he says and you want to, but you’re mute in the face of your mate's anger. "How many hours do you think will exist between your death and mine?” You’re silent as Jimin drives, but his eyes meet yours in the rearview mirror. You don’t see any pity in his eyes maybe because Yoongi, like you, had nearly left them broken. Had actually left and stayed gone. Yoongi will never quite deserve pity for words like those. Yoongi directs your face away from Jimin and back to his.
“How many god damn it!” He grips your cheeks, gentle, fingers that touch so softly, that cradle you, shaking all the while.
“Five? Ten? Sweetheart- I'd last 5 minutes without you and you won't even look at me long enough to apologize and you don't make it easy- I don't-
"Yoongi. That is enough."
Jimin is steely. Cutting him off before Yoongi can say something that he regrets and that he doesn't mean. But Yoongi won’t continue anyway. He's crying so hard he can’t see your face, can’t even see the way that you crumple.
He rests his forehead on your shoulder for the remainder of the drive. Pushing away your hands every time you try and wrap them around him until you’re crying with how frustrated you are. Keeping that one point of contact only, his crumpled face pressed against your mating mark.
He doesn’t want your touch- the touch of someone who hurt him. This is the first time that Yoongi has denied you something so simple, something so habitual as your arms around his shoulders.
Your pleas fall on deaf ears, your words come too late. "I'm sorry, i'm so sorry Yoongi I didn't mean- please believe me- I didn't- Please i'm so sorry-"
It’s a pity isn’t it; someone always has to love the other more. This is the oldest story, and there is no other story. Karma comes just in time or not at all. But right now? Right now it does not feel nice being Yoongi’s karma for leaving the pack all those months ago.
The car ride is mostly silent for the rest of the drive. The car has barely stopped when Yoongi scrambles to get out. The car door flings open with the momentum of Jimin stopping. The hood is hot when he skims his fingers across it steadying himself to round it and dash inside.
Your hands shake too hard to unbuckle yourself as Yoongi hurries, he almost runs. Hoseok gets out of the car, shouting "Yoongi!" but your mate doesn't turn around, doesn't do anything but barrel past the others. Pushing away their worried questions and hands to get inside the house.
The bindings on your hands are already bleeding a little bit, your hands chubby and swollen, and unable to see the seat buckle as you claw at it.
A warm chest hits the side of your face as strong arms reach around you. Jungkook unbuckles you, close and filling the backseat in Yoongi's absence. He holds you for a second, giving you a squeeze and a sideways hug. "Just give him a second it’s gonna be alright."
You stare at Jungkook for a second. Wiping your tears away with a curled fist. He looks tired. “I mean you’re literally his mate so- it's not like he can really...” Jungkook trails off, and the keys jingle in Jimin's hands as he waits. mute and unreadable, staring at the steps where tae stands with Jin and Namjoon.
"Aren't you guys going to yell at me too?" Jungkook snorts, and when you pull back to look at his face, he doesn't look angry, he doesn't even look tired.
"That wouldn't solve anything." Your face crumples further, but Jungkook just starts to pull you to the edge of the leather seat to hug you better under the guise of firmly setting you on your feet.
"What I am gonna do is make you go work out with me. I'm gonna make you do like- so many burpees in punishment for making me run that early in the morning."
You laugh wetly and Jungkook giggles, nuzzling the top of your head. Gripping around your waist to pick you up just a little.
Jin looks just as puffed up as Yoongi but so much less angry, wrapped in your big blue blanket like a cape, a corner pulled over his head and ears like a hood, his fluffy bunny slippers poking out below.
The wooden planks of the deck have dried in the winter sunlight and Tae is barefoot where she stands, silk robe too thin for the winter chill. looking at you with that same hollow look she’s had for the last day.
Jin doesn’t try to grab Yoongi as he stalks past. Namjoon sends a conflicted glance at him and then at you. His shoulders are pinned up by his ears, the scraggly five o'clock shadow he wears looks tear tacky. He looks at you for a single second but then heads into the house after your mate. You blanch, but you're not surprised that Namjoon needs a second before he talks to you too.
The pervasive sound of wrenching can be heard echoing out into the porch, and a look inside says that Namjoon’s got a hand on Yoongi's back where he's bent over the sink. Throwing up nothing because your mate had hardly eaten last night- worried about you and Hobi. You've never felt more undeserving of him, the guilt hits you harder than any words ever could.
You swallow at the bottom of the steps. Hoseok and Jungkook and Jimin behind you, hand on the small of your back urging you forward gently. Willing to let you stray more than a few steps away after chasing you down.
Jin is extra tall and on the upper step, looking down at you with an unreadable expression on his face, he places a hand over the back of your neck scruffing you smoothly and evenly until you almost fall, knees already shaky. Jungkook steps up and grabs you before you hit the floor. But Jin just stoops. Lips brushing the shell of your ear.
“When this is over, when everyone is safe, we’re going to have a long long talk about this. About why pups don’t make decisions on their own. Give me your phone.”
You can hear Jimin’s grimace in his voice, “Yoongi already broke it.”
“Are you angry with me?” You ask lower lip wobbling, tears drifting down your nose, “Please don’t be angry with me- please-” Jin squeezes the nape of your neck again, harder. You see sparkles in your vision- your body compensating for Jin's touch even though you're so tired you feel like you might pass out. You easily submit to the scruff, you'll do anything Jin asks right now just to temper his disappointment.
Hoseok grabs under your elbows to keep you standing. Between him and Jin and Jungkook- you’re a soggy little bundle of omegas. You don’t see it, but from the railing, Tae cups Jimin’s cheek.
Jin croons. “Hush pup. Come inside where it's warm. We've got a lot to talk about- mostly what we can do besides make rash decisions like that."
Hoseok's hand is on Jin's wrist before he has a chance to continue. Eyes bright with something that looks an awful lot like hope.
"About that..." Hoseok gulps, “We think we figured out how to get out of this Jinnie. I have to talk to Yoongi about it again but-” Jin tugs Hoseok onto his other shoulder.
“I think we’ve figured a way out of this.”
You sniffle where you're tucked against Jin's chest, but you’re right next to his scent gland when it swells with pride, sweet and milky. Jin runs the back of his hand softly over Hoseok's warm cheeks, and croons.
“Good puppy.”
~-~
The next time you call Moonbyul, you’re all sitting around the dining room table. The blinds are drawn and Noodle has been fed. Jimin’s collection of guns lay on the table in several neat little rows, the barrels of them pointed in the same direction like the legs of some long-dead arachnid.
A list of demands and a dialogue are written out in front of you but they're not for you. Jin and Yoongi will be doing most of the talking. You've done nothing for the last hour it took to hatch the plan other than sit obediently at the reach of your alphas. Willing to trade little 'I'm sorries' and the barest attempt at teasing after you'd gotten up to get a glass of water and they'd all flinched. Jimin had even gotten up and out of his chair before shaking his head and sitting back down. instincts reacting to your movement before his brain caught up.
"Would it make you feel better if you put me in handcuffs?"
"Only if they're the fuzzy ones."
"Jk- now is not the time.”
All in all, Jungkook and Hobi seem to be the ones who are the least angry at you for trying to pull that stunt. Jimin's just a little more tactile with you than usual pulling you to sit close to him at the table. rubbing over your knee. Fiddling with your hands and gently avoiding the wounds there.
Namjoon still can't look at you, eyes flickering away every time you speak. Not angry- but maybe still upset- still working through his feelings.
There are more important things to work through; the plan, the facts of what you know, a list with numbers sit next to your dialogue. The facts of everything connected with arrows and different handwriting and a good bit of doodles- courtesy of Jungkook and Tae (and you- when she'd prodded).
Your list goes like this:
Moonbyul is not an alpha (verified by Hobi) (ew it's so gross to think of you with another omega hyung)
Only an alpha can rule the family. (That's a little sexist) (I didn't write the rules Tae)
LEVERAGE.
₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎ (JK- stop doodling on official FBI documents.)
Yoongi hasn't spoken a word to you since he came inside the house and you don't expect him to right now. That’s hardly the most important matter at hand. Baby steps.
Baby steps.
You call her with Jimin’s work burner. The one he keeps in his car and uses exclusively for instructions about which murder and which target needs to be taken out. Moonbyul answers on the first ring and guesses it’s you before you even have a chance to speak. The others had unanimously decided that you wouldn't be speaking for this conversation. You don't mind sitting back for this.
Whatever makes them happy, whatever makes them feel better.
Her voice strikes a chill down your spine, now that you know that she's the one who hurt Hobi. It's her he sees behind his eyes on his worst days and it's her voice he hears when his internal monologue becomes vicious and self-shaming. You hear it differently than you did before; a cross between a snake's hiss and the purr of some dark-furred jungle cat.
“Any much longer and you’re going to be late pup, you know how impatient I can be.”
It's surprisingly difficult to not give her a piece of your mind. Your hands tighten into fists, your bones and skin all tight where you'd hurt your hands. But before your knuckles can even go white a big hand covers yours, prying your fingers apart so that your fingernails don't dig into the gauze, still bloody. You look up at Namjoon. He shakes his head, just a little, and you relax your hands.
Yoongi leans over the table so that his voice comes across clearer over the speakerphone.
“I think you’ll want to be patient for this alpha- or should I say omega.”
Hoseok holds the edge of the table hard, leaning in too. He's sure the hitch of his breath must be audible over the phone. But Moonbyul doesn't remark on it. Jin’s hand remains settled on the nape of his neck and you wish you were sitting next to him too.
Yoongi scoots himself closer to the edge of the table. On the side opposite from you. “The claws of an alpha don’t suit you, cousin.”
Moonbyul laughs and none of you smile. The tone of her voice shifts, a bit more serious. “They fit me better than they'd fit you. Let me see how deep your bite is or should I ask Hoseok? Is that pup there? How about Minnie and mommy?”
Tae folds her hands over her chest, affronted, but doesn't speak either. Your hand goes hard on Namjoon's wrist and he grips yours back just as hard. Holding out his hand for Hobi's across the table.
You open your mouth to retaliate- for the comment on Tae alone (you're not sure how Moonbyul found out about your nickname for her) but Jimin mouths across the table, “Don’t” You're all silent, waiting for her next move.
Jin's FBI training kicks in. Negotiation and kidnappings had been a course he'd been required to take during his orientation to the fbi. and his voice is measured and polite.
"I think we're past the point of petty jabs and assassin's, aren't we? Let's talk, pack omega to pack omega."
“You want to parley then? Make a deal?”
Jin drums his hands across the table. Nervous but his voice doesn't shake, not even a little bit.
“This has gone on for long enough. Let’s meet.”
~-~ Moonbyul comes in with the quiet.
The hours drag on in the space before she arrives at the house. The pack perks up in the direction of every errant sound or neighbor in your cul-de-sac. The sound of the little kids across the street leaving for Saturday morning sports, of the dull scape of someone shoveling out their driveway, the rumbling of distant cars on the highway.
It’s a Sunday, isn’t it? Strange, that this kind of thing should happen on a Sunday. Jimin stares out at the driveway, leaning against the railing, and thinks it must be some sort of punishment both wretched and divine. He smokes his cigarette, spitting the smoke out like he's burning, and shakes off the shivers of a god he doesn't believe in.
He finishes his cigarette, then he and the others and ready the house for Moonbyul’s arrival.
Hobi feels every tick of the clock like the beat of his heart knowing that she’s on her way. She’d started driving after Jimin had shown her a video of his guns being thrown into the river. A meeting without any weapons will be as safe as anyone can get.
But still- the pack isn't stupid. Hobi watches from the kitchen as Jin tapes the pack’s sharpest and largest kitchen knife under the kitchen table in front of his seat as well as Jimin’s and Yoongi’s just in case.
Allowing her inside the den goes against every instinct. To have their softest most safe place violated by the presence of someone who has hurt them like this. It's almost too much. But to have the upper hand and have this meeting on their turf is more than they’ve hoped for. So Namjoon restrains his growls, hand still held in yours at the table. After a tangle of so many hours and days of all this violence, the pack takes their chances for a way out.
You'd discussed the meeting happening at the house before you'd even called and agreed. Talked it out between the eight of you the idea location for any meet up. Only Namjoon was against it- but he's been overruled by Jin and Yoongi.
You’d remained mostly silent and agreed with Yoongi when it came to a vote. Warm big eyes on him, waiting for a hint of approval that never came. Jimin thinks that wound is going to take more than simple obedience to heal.
Yoongi doesn’t know what to think, or what to do. Jin and Jimin take over most of the planning as far as what’s going to be said and how. Everything needs to be carefully orchestrated for this to not go poorly. Everyone needs to be on their best behavior.
But there is hope here, on the edge of their scheming is a plan that might work- this might really work. You all might get out of this unscathed. Even Yoongi who’s never taken a simple breath outside of this life of murder and secrets. Who has had this violence built into his blood from the moment he was born. Yoongi was born a liar. Yoongi always thought that he'd live and die belonging to his family- at the will of their beck and call.
Now he's not so sure.
He feels like he’s hyper-aware of you, in your orbit the way an addict is always aware of how little or lot is left of a drug. Every twitch and movement of your body sets him on edge. But when you’re not watching- Yoongi watches you. Tensing with every step you take in the direction of the door, heaving a thankful sigh whenever you pass by it.
He tries not to touch you but it’s hard. He’d taken your shoes and locked them in the closet upstairs, it's silly but it's necessary.
His pulse is still beating so fast that it scares him a little. The mating mark at his hip aches with every step, he wonders if yours aches with every word or breath. Pressed there against your throat where he'd kissed countless times, where he'd nuzzled sleeplessly just last night. Breathing in your scent because it soothed him.
It still soothes him, even if he doesn't want it to.
Yoongi spends every few minutes bent over the kitchen sink or the toilet, the revulsion curling up in his gut like a snake dragging its teeth down the sides of his heart. You’d left him again, actually left him again. Yoongi wants to scream and cry but-
But there are moments of you saying you’re sorry- to Tae, to Jimin, and Jungkook- who stubbornly wraps his arms around your back like a living blanket and makes you stoop forward with his weight. Or Jimin who rubs his chin across the top of your head and jostles you with the aggressiveness of his scent mark, catching your wrists in both of his hands roughly in a way that almost- almost has Yoongi intervening. He's just clumsy and tired.
All of you are.
There are other moments of Jin lingering close, speaking to you in the soft stern way that has you deflating that makes Yoongi’s body hum in that mate way- that way that lets him know you need him.
Namjoon hasn't changed the bandages on your hands yet, even though there's a tiny bit of blood on your right one. Yoongi wants to ask him to change it out but can't make his mouth form the words.
Hobi watches you from wear he rests against the couch, pointedly not sitting on the spot that Jin cleaned of blood. Holding a bit of ice to his throat and sipping on water. Able to talk now- for real. Voice strengthening with every minute.
Yoongi pauses by his side and asks, loud enough for you to overhear "aren't you angry?" Hoseok doesn't miss the way your shoulders tense. You’re looking over things and talking with Jin and Jimin, clarifying something- some rules about the family that only you and Yoongi know of. There are documents on the table with the title FBI property- do not reproduce or take off premises.
He tips his head back against the back of the couch, Hoseok’s legs sprawled out, aching from running so hard and so fast and being so out of practice with it. Fuck- Hoseok is so tired. So anxious and so keyed up by the knowledge that Moonbyul will be here within the next hour. He yawns in Yoongi’s face without covering his mouth. His stretched lips full of teeth teeth teeth.
Yoongi feels his anger quiet even before Hoseok shrugs. "i don't know if my anger would make it better. i care more about making sure we all get to wake up tomorrow without feeling like shit"
Jungkook echoes the same sentiment on his way past. “Same like- I cannot wait to nest” And Jimin nods, blonde hair fluffing. Even namjoon's subtle agreement as he does the dishes makes yoongi feel...Not better...but maybe a little less angry.
Namjoon does the dishes, but you're his close shadow. They could wait- but Namjoon needs something to do with his hands besides holding onto yours. You still haven’t talked at all, and haven't apologized verbally to him for that phone call. He wants a wide birth and you give it to him.
Survival first- and apologies and forgiveness later.
"I think motive counts for something too," Hoseok says, looking at you across the room helping Namjoon stack dishes without being asked. "You didn't mean to hurt us when you left, but you felt like you had to." Yoongi swallows hard and feels like he's the one who's been choked in the last 48 hours.
If there’s one thing Yoongi hates, it’s how love makes you forgive. (Yoongi wouldn’t be standing in this house right now with the pack if love wasn’t this way). You could hurt me and I’d ask for it, beg for it really, as long as I’m still yours. As long as you stay.
At the beginning, the fact that Yoongi loved you more always hurt the pack, Jin especially. But watching Yoongi’s eyes follow your movements as you're asked to do some small remedial task to appease the pack, watching you do it with so much sweet eagerness. the pack find that they're thankful for it.
You say you’re sorry to anyone who will listen. And Jungkook's endless replies of "it's okay" make Yoongi's ears itch in the interim.
The moments and minutes stretch out long.
But about an hour before Moonbyul is due to arrive, in the quiet panic of making sure things are ready and just waiting, Jin tries to convince you to go upstairs for the entirety of your meeting. But as much as the pack doesn't want to admit it you might be the best at getting what you want from Moonbyul. They're prepared for you to be a little bratty about it, to push back a little regardless of the circumstances.
What they're not prepared for is Hoseok standing up in the center of the room, setting his icepack on the couch with a small crunch, before he says “I want to see her again.”
It's met with an immediate rejection, and a barrage of questions from the other alpha's, Jimin and Namjoon especially have their hackles raised. Yoongi actually checks his ears to see if they're bleeding. Jin quite literally grabs Hobi and shakes him a little. But he’s convinced that he needs too. He’s got questions for her that no one else can answer.
You had been the one person who had agreed with him. Some questions can only be answered by the person who hurt you.
Moonbyul isn’t stupid- she won’t walk into your den without a few face cards in her hands. You won’t let her come here without a card up your sleeve either. But aces are aces- a royal flush will beat 4 aces every time, and it’s up to you who wears the crown.
You watch the pack put on the air of royalty. Watch Namjoon recline at the head of the table the picture of Pack alpha ease. Scent blockers are applied to all of you liberally out of necessity. You rub it into Hobi’s scent gland yourself (You won’t let Moonbyul get a wif of him).
You watch your mate settle into his shoulders; neck held high. Putting on the same Placid but brutal he'd worn the first time you'd met him. That untouchable coldness that all members of the family wear out of necessity.
But Yoongi had never been good enough at keeping the warmth out of his eyes. Even back then.
Moonbyul comes in a black car, non-descript. She's driving herself today. No extra ears or extra packmates attached to her hip. Even Hyejin is absent and it’s strange, strange to not see her get out of the car with her.
It sets you off kilter when you peer out the window. Lingering until Yoongi comes close. Your breath hitches as his hands touch your shoulders. Urging you upstairs without a word, an unspoken heaviness in his eyes.
Regardless of what you'd agreed, now that she's here. yoongi doesn't think he can do this if you're not upstairs safe.
“But Yoongi- Hobi-“ Hobi stands by the door. If he's going to talk to her you want to be by his side. But Yoongi's scared, you can see it in his face and feel it in the mating mark.
You think you'll have a few more moments to sort this out, but Moonbyul does not knock on your door, she just lets herself in.
“Cousin!” she starts, splaying her hands like she’s about to go in for a hug but Yoongi does not smile, Yoongi does nothing but glare at her until her smile and her hands both drop.
Seeing Moonbyul again after so long does not feel like just seeing her photograph. For a second Hoseok feels cold, so so cold looking at her face. Her fair skin, her silver hair. Tunnel vision and the most dizzying mix of fear and anger and alpha posturing that he’s ever felt. His instincts yell at him, screaming in his ear that he needs to run, needs to get away.
She smells different, metallic and medicinal, different than her sweet omega peppermint smell that he remembers. It's stronger now- more musky. the scent of an alpha and not an omega. Hoseok wouldn't be able to pinpoint that it was an artificial change if he hadn't smelled the same sort of hormone shift on Tae.
He’s distantly aware that there are people in between him and her, you, Yoongi, Jimin, Namjoon, and even Jungkook who fluffs up, looking determined and like he’s about to unleash all 5 years of experience he has teaching kickboxing on her. (Tae stays at the back of the room- the soft and delicate fairy star child that she is- but even she subtly stands straighter, eyeing Moonbyul’s stiff black coat with the same air that Anna Wintour might wear while viewing a subpar fashion show).
6 feet away and every bit of his instincts is yelling at him to move, to run. His heart thunders in his ears like a battalion of racehorses. How stupid of him to think he was ready- that seeing her face after all these years wouldn’t hurt- that the fear wouldn’t be there- his breath hitches and-
She grins at him and Hoseok flinches.
In his peripheries, he sees Namjoon and Jimin start to say or do something. Hoseok had put himself- almost perfunctorily in front of you. But after a second with your hand on his wrist tightening, you put yourself between him and her. Stepping around him and Yoongi in one clean movement and blocking his face from view. Moonbyul just raises her eyebrows at you. Before anything more can happen- before any jabs or warnings can be exchanged, a grey mass skitters across the floor. As quick as a bullet and twice as violent. Out for blood and the bringer of death.
Puffed up and looking large and menacing. Noodle yowls loud, a war cry, before driving his needle-like teeth into Moonbyul's ankle and right through the leather of her Louis Vuitton boots, ripping them with a vicious toss of his neck.
“What the fuck-“
Moonbyul startles, knocking into the wall in her surprise at your cat's viciousness. She hardly wastes a breath before she kicks Noodle clear across the floor.
You gasp and Tae makes a noise. But Noodle is totally fine, He goes hissing and spluttering, and claws his way right back for more not deterred in the slightest. He leaves gash marks on the shiny floor as he aims himself, back to bite her again.
You have no doubt that he’d be headed for bloodshed and her other ankle if Yoongi didn’t scoop him up from the floor and hold him to his chest. Honestly- Noodle looks more surprised at Yoongi holding him than he does about getting kicked.
“If you touch my fucking cat again, I’ll fucking kill you." Yoongi's deadly serious. No part of him joking as he says it.
It's barely 60 seconds in and this meeting is already going to shit.
Namjoon steps up and steps around Yoongi’s shoulder shoving the beta behind him as Noodle starts to squirm in Yoongi's hold. “Please, lets just get this over with.” He tips his head and gestures to the dining room table for her to sit.
Tae takes Noodle from Yoongi’s arms. Checking his stomach. Glaring at Moonbyul who does not grin, does not smile, only tucks an errant hair behind her ear.
The sound of chair legs scraping the floor is the only sound as the 9 of you sit in silence. Noodle stays in Tae’s lap, big tail swishing as his beady yellow eyes track Moonbyul across the room. Everyone’s silent, settling. Yoongi and Jimin are the ones seated closest to Moonbyul. You and Hobi are the farthest by Namjoon on the other side.
“Well- you’re the one who wanted to talk.” But Moonbyul is not looking at Jin and Namjoon and Yoongi- she’s looking at Hoseok- who can do little but look at her through his bangs. Skin burning when she looks at it. A feeling like Hoseok wants to hide and maybe shower until his skin falls off almost overcoming him and making him run.
“I didn’t want to talk, I wanted to get you fucking flayed out on this kitchen table and-”
“Jimin.” Tae cuts him off with a snap of her teeth around his name. Her hand is on Hobi’s thigh, holding him still keeping his thigh from jumping up and down under the table.
“The time for violence is over,” Jin says sternly.
Moonbyul grins, “is it?” she drags a sharp nail over a groove in the table. A spot where a bullet or maybe a knife grazed it, probably from the last few days. You wouldn’t know where it came from even if you thought hard about it.
“Some would consider the very act of possessing something that’s mine violence and you have two things that belong to me.”
Hoseok shivers, and you narrowly avoid snapping a smart retort at her. Jimin’s fingers hover around the knife under the table. Ready to wip it out and drive it clean through her hand splayed on the table. Ready to kill her in the next second if the pack wish it. He’s half convinced he should do it before she opens her mouth because Hoseok looks like he’s going to be sick all over the table and Tae is shaking faintly.
But then Jimin looks up, meets your eyes, and takes his eyes off of his target for a second. You shake your head a little imperceptibly.
“Some would also consider lying violence as well- how well do you think that the rest of your family and organization would handle the fact that they’ve been lied too?”
Yoongi settles, tilting his head. Jin and Yoongi are a dangerous pair when they talk through things like this. “We both know that all I’d have to do is pick up a phone and you’d be dead. You and your pack. If you kill me- someone will tell and you'll die. If you touch my pack again- I'll tell and you'll die. And if even think about taking my mate from me again- if i start to sense that you've tried to manipulate her away from me in the slightest- I'll kill you my fucking self."
She turns to you, mirth toying at her lips, "I got away with killing the beta once, what makes you think I can't do it again?"
Jin smiles at her, it's an honest and genuine smile. "The truth is- you gave us too much time to think. Too much time to figure it out and plan. There's a trigger clause out there. On a computer you couldn't possibly find. If I don't log in every 36 hours, an email will be sent with pictures of her recipe book to the director of the FBI, and you'll go down for it." Moonbyul turns to you, narrowing her eyes, "You'd risk going to prison or being killed? Rather than be with me?"
You shrug. "You- prison- tomato tamato. And besides- I know enough- you made sure I knew enough to be useful to them. I'd probably land a sweet gig in witness protection."
Tae pets over noodles head, smiling at you, "We could call Noodle meatball."
Yoongi straightens, getting you back on track. "We'd also send pictures and evidence to the heads of house too; you'd have to take your pick who you'd want to deal with- them or the Feds." Moonbyul goes quiet and for the first time but you know you have her backed into a corner with this. This secret- this secret is truly her undoing. She fidgets, settling herself firmly into the uncomfortable chair.
And then it comes, her concession, “What do you want?”
Yoongi nearly lunges forward with how eager he is to outline your terms. “Release Jimin from his contract. Let Y/n go and relinquish the bullshit claim you have on her. Don’t punish Jin for working for the FBI and never contact me again for my responsibilities as a beta. Leave us alone- never touch us again and you can have your empire. We won’t say a word to anyone about your true sub-gender.” He lays his hands flat on the table. "But lay a finger on any one of my packmates and I'll tell everyone what you really are."
Moonbyul is a manipulator first and foremost, and a good one at that, you don’t know if it’s honesty or a simple tactic when she turns to Tae and appeals to her.
“You’d let them do this for what? One female alpha to the other?” Moonbyul’s eyes are too empty for her to be totally honest. Jungkook can’t stop his flinch. She knows what she’s doing. How to find the weak spots in your conviction and press at them.
“One trans person to another? You'd let them forcefully out me? don't you know how wrong that is?”
You physically can’t look at her, you have to look away- and Jimin looks like he wants to punch her, jaw rolling- preparing to spit before Tae splays her hands on the table, chipped nail polish catching the light.
Tae struggles to find the right words. “I don’t know if your reasons are the same as mine.”
Moonbyul scoffs, crossing her arms. The mask slips at the same second. “Sure they are. You chose to become a woman rather than stay a man because you liked the set of qualities your life could have as a woman better. That's no different from me choosing to be an alpha over an omega because it gave my pack and me the most security.”
You know, you know in your heart that security isn't what Moonbyul's after, it's always been power, but Tae's scent starts to leak around the scent blockers, going sour.
Tae sits back in her chair. “That’s the thing- it wasn’t a choice.”
Moonbyul’s fingernails are digging into her arms in an effort to keep her hands busy. “Was it? You were comfortable being a man once until the risks outweighed the benefits of not being honest with the people you love. That seems like a choice to me- if it wasn’t a choice- you’d never have had to tell anyone- they’d just have known.”
Moonbyul has always had a terrible knack for finding people's soft spots, Hoseok knows this, and yet he can't say anything. Can't come to Tae's defense. Can't scream at her to shut up- to not touch Tae. To not find the weakest link or perhaps a link she can exploit.
Tae’s hands tighten into a fist and she swallows, before standing up from the table. Noodle falls to the floor with a jingle of his bell collar and an offended meow. Tae leaves the room heading up the stairs and leaves you behind. Done with Moonbyul and the conversation, A choice in itself. You follow her, heading upstairs after Tae with not even a glance in Moonbyul’s direction.
Moonbyul laughs and laughs and laughs, it’s a little unhinged. The pack stays silent. They just watch her. Yoongi settles into his shoulders and when she leans back in the chair and tucks her hair behind her ear, she’s still smiling.
“Alright cousin, let’s draw up terms.”
The family does things in old ways, a smear of Yoongi’s blood and Moonbyul’s blood on the bottom of a slip of paper and their names ink signed. A red seal printed with both of their initials. Paper that Jin will burn up later because what’s written on it could condemn them all. She also writes up a release of Jimin’s contract too- this one does not get burned. While Jin types up his resignation too.
“I’d still laser off your fingerprints if I were you.” Jimin is already planning on it. He’s not too worried about the loss of income or the family possibly rolling on him and using his long history of murder to put him in jail. He still has his other job after all.
In the end, Moonbyul leaves not with a bang, but with the click of the closing door, soft as all can be. Violent with the gentleness of her actions when she gets up from the table and says goodbye to Yoongi and only Yoongi. But when she makes to leave, she has to pass by the stairs where you wait.
You do not speak from up on top of the stairs, where you’d gone after Tae and left after she told you she was fine, that she wanted to be alone for a moment. Now Moonbyul smiles from the bottom step. Her teeth catch the light like the pearls at the bottom of the ocean.
“I guess it was never going to be us, was it?” Her eyes flick to the mark on your neck and all at once you’re reminded of the feeling of it;
Geumjae’s teeth sink into your throat, the pulse of your veins around his teeth, the feeling of his tongue hitting your skin and the pain and shock of it. Her smiling feels like that. Her smiling up at you makes it feel like she’s taking something from you.
“There is something in you that’s hungry pup- hungry for more than they can give you. And when they realize that- when they realize that you’re more like me than like Tae- Don’t worry, I’ll be waiting for when you decide that this is not enough.”
Your finger trails down the railing of the stairs. You don’t meet her eyes. “That’s the thing isn’t it, I do get to decide, don’t I? It's my choice.”
But Hoseok is there, between you and her, and there’s no one between the two of them. Not Noodle or the others although Yoongi gets up quick and comes over to his side. Both of you hem Hobi in.
“Wait- I just have one question for you- before you go.”
Moonbyul hovers, hand on the door. Almost out of your lives for good. You keep a hand on Hobi’s back, holding him, letting him know you’re there. You can feel the tremble in his shoulders.
“Why did you do it, why did you hurt me like that when you could have just left? I’ve thought through it for years but I’ve never been able to figure it out. Did you know that you were hurting me when you did it?”
“Yes,” there isn’t a bit of remorse in her face, none at all.
Maybe Hoseok is expecting something like this- something like this: “I thought if we broke you down, we might be able to remake you into something great”
“I didn’t need to be changed I just needed you to love me.”
But there is none of that. It’s infuriating and it will bother him for years later but what Hoseok gets is this:
“There wasn’t a reason, we were just bored and waiting for my father to give me the chance to transition.” transition into power or transition into an alpha? She doesn't clarify. She’s remorseless, nothing in her inflection indicates that she regrets what she did.
“You weren’t the first.”
Hoseok feels nauseous like he's going to be sick on the entryway floor. Hobi doesn’t respond and she leaves without a second glance behind her. Out of your lives for good. Leaving Hoseok standing there in the precipice of the door, watching her pull away from the house and staring at the empty driveway after she’s gone. He'll never see her again after today.
Namjoon gets up and opens up a window, clearing the house of her smell of peppermint.
He doesn’t realize he’s crying until you dab your sleeve at his cheek. Yoongi at his front and you holding him from behind, keeping him together as he cries and cries and cries. Jimin puts himself between you two and the door, a knife that he'd tapped under the table in his hands.
Jungkook huffs. "Should have stabbed her when you had the chance Minnie."
Closure escapes him, just out of his fingers. Hoseok wants to run after her and demand an apology. But he doesn’t know what’s better, an apology that’s hollow or none at all. No one talks for a moment while they watch her car pull out of the driveway and leave. No one says a word.
And then Jin gets up from the table and walks over to the kitchen. Namjoon follows him. Tae’s at the top of the steps, she’s changed her clothes from her PJs and washed off the scent blockers. Her hair hangs shaggy and messy over her glossy face, her bangs in a curly pink roller, and her skin pearly from her skincare.
She doesn’t smell distressed or upset. She doesn’t smell like anything at all but she’s wearing her favorite pink sweater. She comes close, runs her hands through Hobi's hair.
"I'll be fine, just give me a second I just need-"
"You cry for as long as you need to ho-baby."
"Yeah- cry as much as you want, use me as a napkin for all I care." your shirt is wet at the collar where Hobi burrows in.
Jin opens up the pack's liquor cabinet. Small and just to the side of the fridge. None of them really drink- but occasionally patients give Namjoon expensive bottles of whiskey for saving their lives. Jin pours himself a full glass of the most expensive bottle of it. No ice. He pours a second glass for Yoongi without asking. It’s barely noon, but when he asks “who wants a drink?” Seven hands shoot up.
~-~
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Notes:
the very fist part of this chapter where hoseok and her are on the train was a part that i liked until final edits and then it felt??? idk??? clunky??? maybe a bit repetitive???? idk what it is and it's way too late to fix it T-T
this chapter is really an ode to what i originally thought of for bily, in the og version of this story yoongi was supposed to hate the m/c at the beginning for taking him away from the pack. i think his anger at the end is entirely justified- it's also like- his karma for leaving at the beginning you know? he might take it a bit too far in his reaction but tbh- i think we can cut him some slack for everything he's ever given to the m/c- all of the unconditional love.
i think that the train is like- a metaphor for getting better, or not getting better and keeping going on the reductive patterns that make you sick, because the things that make you feel better- like picking at a sticky scab- will only make you scar deeper. this is the last moment for the m/c, the moment she starts to heal for good.
the moment where hobi and the m/c are walking up to the car and yoongi is there i litterally see him puffing up like a studio ghibli charecter you know? or maybe like noodle whenever yoongi comes close.
honestly- the line where yoongi says that she doesn't love him like he loves her made me fucking sick when i wrote it like???? not me lowkey not giving them a happy ending. but i think that the part of bily thats always been fun to experiment with is how people sometimes people hurting you doesn't change how you feel about them.
did you catch the reasons wreched and divine refrence????
the line that yoongi says “Five? Ten? Sweetheart- I'd last ////5 minutes without you and you won't even look at me long enough too apologize and-" is very much a refrence to what hoseok says to yoongi at the begining of the series "You won’t even tell me now when I'm fucking dying over you, suffocating under the weight of things you just won’t say- and you don’t even care!” and i think thats pretty.
i think the yoongi parts will either make you guys feel vindicated or upset. i think it's up to you if he goes too far when he's angry- but i do think it's very human of him to get so angry like...the m/c is his whole fucking world...he will get over it! don't worry! he's just momentarily angry!
the part between when the pack call her and she arrifes felt really clunky while i was editing it, i decided not to take it down too much because i wanted you guys to feel some of their anticipation- but maybe it's too much. it's this kind of part that might get seriously paired down once i go back through bily and clean it up
"fuck this bitch"- noodle probably
noodle is like my favorite charecter i swear to god i love him so so much. i had the idea that he would be the only one to get some bloodletting in since the very begining of the series before he was ever written into the story. this is also the begining of them sorta being friends like- after this noodle is alot more tolerant of yoongi.
Moonbyul discloses that she has some pretty uncomfy views of being trans in this! i think it's pretty obvious that it's not meant to be like 'this is how all trans people are' and more of an effort to contrast tae- we are also talking like fake secondary genders here as well so- do with that what you will!
i also wanted to make the point with hobi and moonbyul's part at the end that sometimes the people who hurt you have no remorse, you don't get clousrure from them because they'll never admit that they shouldn't have done something. and the biggest closure that you can get is from giving yourself the strenght to let go. in a way- this directly contrasts the parts on the train in the begining. in order to heal a wound you have to stop touching it.
this chapter may feel like an ending in a sense because it is an end of all the mafia parts. truly- after this chapter we won't see any more violence or blood or anything close to the last 6. it's all happy endings from here <3 Thank you for sticking with it!
<3
💜💜💜
Before I Leave You (Pt.70)
(Omegaverse au, Mafia au, Bts x Reader)
Summary: The one where the pack goes on a group bender.
Tags: Fluff, only a little hurt mostly just comfort, scenting, bathing, drinking, drunk characters, recovery from past abused, nightmares, trans! tae, dress up, girl on girl fluff, omegaspace, themes of forgiveness, vomiting, eating disorder mention but everything's good, Brief implied sexual content, Talks of mental disorders, murder,
W/c: 12.6k
Note: The part where it links to a playlist on youtube may be a little distracting if you do not like to read with loud music on! feel free to skip it and then go back to listen to it <3 although it is not the first song in the playlist- hot to go by chappell roan is the unofficial official song of the chapter <3
Previous part - Masterlist - First part
The pack spends the next three days getting drunk off their asses and trying their hardest to forget the last 3 weeks. Everything since you and Hobi found that body at the beach all those weeks ago.
There are no police officers at the door, no red and blue lights that cloud the air, or tense words spat between you. No plans devilish or delightful. Sometimes there are thin bands of sunlight that slip through the blinds and that's a big event. Other times- the big kitchen light shines brighter than any sun. Daytime and nighttime blend and blur together until you’re not sure what day it is or how many days it’s been since all of you became free.
Freedom. It feels like a dirty word.
Young, drunk, and honest, the days blend together. Drinking away the last few weeks might not be the best move, neither the healthiest nor the most productive decision to drink yourselves dizzy until it doesn’t matter that there’s a person buried in your basement, that Jin shot Jimin, or that you almost left them. The truth of love is clean compared to what you might do, what you have done- for the people you love.
For once no one judges, no one cuts you off after one or three or five drinks because it's too much for a pup like you. No one even stops Jungkook from getting giggly from champagne and drinking more than his seizures would normally allow. You deserve it, a few nights of fun, a few nights to live like the 20-somethings that you all are without the weight of trying to survive and secrets weighing you down.
It’s okay, if Jungkook has a seizure that will be the least of your worries.
The hours blend and blur. Jin submits his resignation paperwork for the FBI and has a quick video call with the director, the rest of the pack tries to be quiet but fails several times (once when namjoon pops a bottle of champagne and hits himself in the face with a flying cork, and again when he and Yoongi clink their glasses and predictably break them on accident sending champagne all over the floor. it's not the first glass that breaks that night but it is the first one that makes Jin laugh.)
You and Jungkook lay sprawl across his lap, just out of sight and giggling every few minutes. nuzzling under Jin's shirt to scent his sensitive stomach. Your fingers play with Jungkook's on Jin's hips, and you teeth listlessly at the soft skin just above his belly button, just so that you don't speak or let out an embarassingly needy whine. His hands and long fingers card through your hair and shushing your laughter just barely. Jin doesn't have the heart to tell anyone not to laugh, especially after the last few days no- Jin will drink down every bit of it.
The glass of very good and expensive wine in his hands just out of view of the camera lens, also gets drunk down, and very quick. Yoongi pauses to refill it once Jin's done, he drinks the second glass slower.
Hobi and Namjoon fill out their paperwork for emergency rut leave. Jimin doesn’t have to, already on emergency medical leave and cleared for his bodyguard job till the end of the month when spring will turn the ground lucid and heavy sweet. The winter won't be long now, although the cold pushes at the window and makes Yoongi put the thermostat up high just so that you can all lounge around in your pajamas and fuzzy socks.
Heat and rut leave, even though no one's in a rut or heat. You don't mind lying and abusing the system just this once. You just can’t think about leaving the house just yet. You need a few days to settle all of your instincts and remember that being alive- that surviving is a good thing. That surviving and being together is even better.
It feels like a good thing. It feels like this is the first deep breath you’ve taken in a long long while. Since long before Yoongi maybe- if you’re being honest.
You know you must be irritating your neighbors with the music- but it’s worth it when you get to sit on the counter and watch Yoongi and Hobi bicker over the playlist. Which song is better, which one has the better backtrack, the better lyrics, and the better vibe.
A big black block speaker sits on the kitchen island bumping and although Hoseok and Yoongi might be fighting, they're leaning further into each other with every over-exaggerated scoff like a pair of magnets. it might be midnight, it might be 4am, but no ones sleeping yet. you know too well what waits you when you close your eyes. The nightmares that will plauge all of you, so you keep them open.
It's kinda fun to watch them flirt, It's kinda your favorite thing to watch actually. sitting there on the counter sipping at your drink.
You stay close to Hobi just incase. He hasn't showed any sort of evidence of falling apart from seeing moonbyul yet, but you're ready and waiting if he needs you.
The long socks you wear have trouble staying up to your mid-thigh, thick and cozy, and falling down around your knee as you sit on the countertop, feet dangling and swinging as you look between Hobi and Yoongi. Jimin toys with them, pulling up and pulling down. Happy with the sensation of it. He's equally as entertained by the way that Yoongi and Hobi fight, half joking- half really not.
After the kind of fights you've had recently, you'll take it.
“Fuck you and your love for fucking tambourines- this song is not that good-” Your feet swish and Hobi bens in to peck your forehead and sneak a sip of your drink. You like them sweet and Jin's made each one extra sugary for you.
You don't know where Jin got the mini paper umbrellas from- but Hoseok has a red one tucked behind his ear and a green one in his drink, the same as your yellow one. They litter the kitchen counter along with the juiced rinds of lemons and limes and other mixers that the pack is chasing with their alcohol.
"Oh! Try it Tae, this is like- so you and so so pink" Tae tries your drink too, bending down to sip at it counter level and you watch Jimin swallow hard and fidget. he's so enthralled with the sight of her bending over and sucking that he misses her sneaky hand creeping around to his backside, pinching so hard he jumps.
Hoseok laughs and then does the same to Yoongi. "Oh my god what the fuck-" He's indignant, but Hoseok tugs him back to his side by his belt buckle.
Tae's eyes are nearly comically wide, she asks you what you're drinking, hand on your knee, fiddling with the ribbon on your socks. “I’ve never had a Miami vice before.”
Jimin’s growl is a near thing, a near purr, makes you giggle and tip into him, happy. “I’ll make you one babygirl.”
"Wait!" Tae snags Jimin around the waist before he sinks off to get her one, and even you can see the blush on his cheeks. It's a good sign, Jimin is recovering well from all the blood he lost.
"Help me sit on the counter first?"
Jimin had in fact, heaved you up there when you'd asked to sit, not that you couldn't get up there on your own- but the alpha’s like to do little things like that for you. Tae can definitely do it herself too but Jimin stoops to grip under her thighs, eye contact with her never ceasing, and almost drops her when she takes the chance to kiss him fully on the mouth and you giggle again.
Yoongi glances over at you, at the sound, and your giggle cuts off. cheeks the mirror of Jimin's.
The discomfort passes like it was never there, like he didn't look for the sound, like he's not keenly aware of just how many steps it would take to cross the room and kiss you firmly on the mouth. Yoongi's thinking all sorts of silly things like that.
It's not silly, it's not silly at all- Yoongi is just not quite sure how angry he is.
Yoongi’s all puffed up, swaying but somehow holding onto his whiskey. The counter digs into his hip where he leans and flips his hair like he doesn't know that Hobi's watching. Like Hobi's not biting his lip and staring. It's easier to look at Hobi than it is to look at you- easier to want Hobi than it is to want you right now. Easier to bicker and flirt than to actually initiate anything.
(Yoongi never did like sex or love when he's drunk, he's only ever loved love sober, drinking makes him- stumbly- less articulate than he likes, more rambly. Like his body and his mind are at two seperate tempo's and they won't mix).
“Like you’re any better with your fucking cowbell fixation. It does not add that much to a track."
“Hey! I am a millennial thank you very much, that was like such a meme when I was in high school- like people had shirts with that on it”
their bickering is funny and it’s so much nicer than almost drowning, than fighting. Jimin’s stitches are still tender but you burrow into the front of his chest, hiding your face from view. Peeking over his shoulder to watch Yoongi and Hobi.
Your mate tips his head, spits it almost vicious and slurry, “And I bet you had one of those fucking shirts, You and your fucking memes, just because a song has cowbell in it doesn't make it a good song-”
Hoseok grins, teeth sharp looking and smelling so heady and rich that you tip your neck to the side, presenting your scent gland for Jimin and Tae to burrow into, between the two of them in a alpha sandwich.
"You thinking about my shirt hyung? It's made of boyfriend material you know."
Jin laughs from the couch in approval and tae groans but Yoongi's hand tangles with the front of Hoseok's shirt, black, generic. Pulling him closer so harshly that hoseok genuinely looks startled for a second. "I am thinking about your shirt- how it would look on my fucking floor."
Jungkook swishes around his Miami vice from the couch, calling over to your little cuddle puddle, "Does anyone know what they're talking about?"
Jin pipes up, almost undistinguishable from where he's pressed between Joonie and the couch cushion. "Are they angry at each other or trying to fuck?"
"Both?"
"Both."
You sigh at the same moment Tae nearly swoons, "Let them be."
"It's sort of hot to watch them argue," you agree.
“You and your fucking memes” Yoongi spits again, half a laugh, so in love that he purses his lips to keep from saying it and ruining the (admittedly fake) argument.
He pushes hoseok up agains the center island, lips colliding with his so sloppy and yet with so much love behind them that you see Hobi's knees go weak a little, watch your mates lips work in the way you are only too familiar with blushing and still peeking. As Hoseok's red hair mizes with Yoongi's black and Hoseok kisses back with just as much tension, finally snapping. Yoongi's hands on his hips. Kissing just to kiss. Pulling apart with a laugh because,
"Did you just fucking bite me?"
"And i'll do it again if you don't admit that my song is better than yours." They go back to kissing, and no one pays them heed.
Jimin’s scent swells sweeter and Tae touches the top of your head, long fingers threading through and long nails scratching gently behind your ears.
"Feeling small pup?" She asks, all quiet and fond with it. Prepared to wisk you away upstairs or into the library room if you need a second of quiet, a second of less stimulation so settle you. you're a little quiet, a little less verbal- something she's come to expect from you in omegaspace.
You shake your head, words escaping you, eyes stuck on her fluffy sweater, the kind of mohair that leaves a pretty white halo, her shorts are more bloomers, ruffled at the hem and dove colored, the same color as your socks. Coordinating. Tae dressed you and she wanted couples outfits. Your hands fix on her sweater sleeves and you pet them once, twice, still shaking your head.
"You sure?" Tae's lips quirk and you know that she doesn't believe you in the slightest. You press a kiss to her lips, slow soft, near reverent with how gentle you are with it. Her pupils dilate, and Jimin's' growl rumbles all the way to your fingertips.
"M'okay, just a little sleepy but not like- sleepy sleepy yet." it is nearing 3 in the morning. Jimin's arms tighten around you protective and a little possessive, Tae's eyes go from your face to his. Apparently, she's learned a thing or two from Yoongi and Hobi because her tone is dripping with false displeasure.
“Stealing my pup from me Minnie?” She taunts, and you shiver at the sound of her voice, low, the most normal it’s sounded in days. You’d almost forgotten what it sounded like when Tae teased.
Jimin seems to have forgotten too, because he doesn't seem to understand that she's teasing, bullying you, nearly pushing you further into her with how quick he seeks to hand you over. “Never.” He says softly, quietly. Like every syllable she says is treasured. It is.
“Hey!” Jin flops over the edge of the couch. Jungkook and Namjoon near his feet. All but kissing up his thighs. Namjoon says something low and Jungkook giggles, almost tossing himself into the pack alpha’s shoulder. “Hey! If anyone is anyone’s pup, they’re- hic- mine!”
Jin only manages to be serious for a second before he flinches, laughing and hiccuping again as Namjoon’s fingers dig into the meat of his heal. A carefully orchestrated reminder as the pack omega squirms and shrieks at the ticklish feeling. Swaying and almost toppling from the couch. You don’t think you’ve seen Jin look so young, act so young- in weeks. He ends up on the floor with Jungkook on top of him, blowing raspberries against his neck with a loud rippling noise.
Your hands are healing slowly and Hobi’s bruises around his neck are beginning to yellow. The bruises on the back of Tae’s head have faded from painful to touch tender. You touch her there, oh so gently. Touching her hair as she touches yours, leaning into each other and giggling, touching, loving gently. Jimin watches blinking owlishly. Fingers flexing on the countertop.
Other wounds have faded that way too. Yoongi scoffs and turns to you. They've been lost in their own little world. Yoongi has his long hair in a top knot, his white teeshirt is so long it almost hides his shorts below. If basketball shorts could be coquettish- Yoongi would pull it off. The loose pieces of his hair fluff softly over his forehead as he huffs.
“Okay. You can be the tiebreaker- which one’s better? This one or the song I showed earlier?”
Both of them look at you expectantly- watching and waiting, Tae curls a lock of your hair around her finger syrupy slow as you pause for a second. You turn to Yoongi already apologetic, “Okay- but Russian house music is like- kinda really really cool-”
Your mate groans and all but smacks his head on the counter. “Oh come on!” Hoseok pumps his fist and almost hip-checks Yoongi across the kitchen. Your mate pouts, crossing his arms.
“Come on- epic high is a classic.”
“Admit it hyung- she likes my playlist better than yours.”
At least Yoongi is sort of talking to you again. Sort of getting over it minute by minute. It’s hard. Namjoon watches you from where he's sprawled on the couch, holding a near-empty bottle of champagne by the neck while Jungkook and Jin wrestle on the floor, sort of making out, sort of scenting each other as they go. Jimin requests a song that Tae would like- and then Yoongi and Hoseok lean over Yoongi's phone to make her the perfect playlist. Happy to have something new and mundane to bicker over.
(Happy Pink Pup Time ▷ Play playlist?)
Morning is just cresting over the rooftops and the music is just turned down when Namjoon gets up from the couch, slowly, dizzy. You're perched on the counter in your pj's watching Jimin and Jungkook chase each other around the room. The need to scent and wrestle and get all your restless energy out near palpable.
Hoseok and Jungkook have a tiny paper drink umbrella tucked behind their ears, the same one that Jin stuck in your drinks so that you can keep track of whose drink is whose. He and Jungkook gang up on Jimin to stick one into his hair, the tiny little baby bun that Tae tied to match Yoongi.
You giggle as Jungkook gives up and just loops his arms around Jimin's neck, no technique to it and all body weight dragging the three of them to the floor. Sprawled next to the library room door, now open. Tae’s makeup collection spread out on the green shaggy carpet like the fallen petals of some red flowering tree. Nothing hidden in the room anymore, the lock will go unused forever.
It changes from wrestling to tickling and then the three of them are getting up and surrounding Yoongi, a paper umbrella in their fingers, he takes it all with a huff and a surprisingly whiney, “guys.”
You still when Namjoon walks over, the same way you'd still if a wild animal were approaching. He doesn't settle close, just stands next to you and pours himself the last melted bit of the drink in the blender. Pink and yellow swirling delicately. He makes a noise in his throat and looks at you like he hasn’t barely said a word to anyone in the whole last 24 hours, hasn’t barely said a word to you since you got off the phone with him and Moonbyul left the house.
You sip at your drink, lips pursed around the straw and when you're done, Namjoon takes it from you and puts it on the counter. You think at first that he might be cutting you off but then he stares at the gauze around your hands.
"I should probably check these." You nod obedient, wordless, unsure what to say, you let him take your hands.
Fingers prodding at the red skin, delicate but knitting itself together slowly. “How much do they hurt?” He asks. Eyes downturned, looking at them, not you.
“Probably a two,” you rate, almost without thinking. His eyelashes still cling together from salt. Face glossy. You want to wash his face, blot across his cheeks gently the way that Jin does after you've been crying (something that you admittedly do a lot- the pack's resident crybaby).
Namjoon sighs heavily, "So should I consider that a four or-"
"No, this time I'm being honest." Namjoon stills, "It doesn't hurt when I touch stuff unless I'm not careful." Being honest about your hurts and pains has never been easy for you. But Namjoon has shown you time and time again that he's willing to take your hurts and fix them. You have no reason not to tell him the truth.
Namjoon grips your palm, turning it over his hands again and again, looking down at your love line lifeline all tangled there before leveling you with a look that is neither angry nor resigned.
He holds your hand, “Do you notice?” He asks. You swallow, eyes itchy.
“Notice what?” His finger presses to the center of your palm, the hollow there.
“Still dry,” He says.
You think of the mice. Of drowning. You don't pull your hand from Namjoon's grasp, but you know he wouldn't Let you anyway.
You think about the mice. Of dying. Of trying to stay dry despite the things that try to swallow you whole. Water is not gentle, water is hungry. The rain pitters against the dark glass and melts the snow outside. But you and Namjoon and the rest of the pack are dry and warm and safe in here.
Your breath hitches, but you close your fingers around his hand and nod. Your heels hook around the back of his knees, pulling him closer to you. “Still dry.” You agree.
Namjoon closes his eyes and breaks the tension and this distance between you. Letting you pull him between your thighs properly where you sit on the kitchen counter. Wrapping his arms around your shoulders to tug you to his chest, and breathing deep in the hollow of your throat.
He pulls back just as abruptly. Hands resting on the counter on either side of your thighs. All up in your space and sour-smelling. It takes great effort for you not to turn away and keep his piercing eye contact.
“Don’t do something like that again. Ever.” His jaw rolls and his scent spikes angry. But it's all temporary as you nose under his jaw to soothe him. Namjoon has every right to be angry with you for leaving, the same way Yoongi does.
“Never. Promise.” You hold out your pinky and you mean it.
Namjoon looks at you for a second, staring you down, waiting for you to look away. But then after a pregnant second, he loops his pinky through.
~-~
Eventually, you get drunk enough to play dress up with Tae’s collection of designer clothes. You wake up sleepy and pupish, Namjoon and Jungkook guide you to the dressing room before youre really awake.
"Sorry to wake you, Tae just needed-" you make a sleepy soft noise, nuzzling into Namjoon's throat when they hand him off to you.
Instead of getting pulled into pajamas you get Tae and the dressing room, almost her whole collection of dresses taken out of their careful organization. piles and piles of clothes on the floor, and a silk scarf keeps her hair back from her face.
Gold eye patches on her under eyes that slide off when Jin tries to drag her in for a morning scent mark to soothe her. Tae's anxious, you can smell it on the air, distracting and sharp, you squirm and Namjoon sets you on the floor. "Sorry pup, Tae's just-"
Tae's cheeks were wet, frustrated holding a slip in her hands. sniffling softly. She'd looks at you a little guilty, looking down at you in the middle of her tornado and nearly burst into tears,
"I don't have anything to wear."
Hugging Tae is always so easy, easier when she needs your comfort. you're sleepy, but this is something you'd know how to do even in your sleep- loving her properly has always been so easy. Jimin stands silent and fidgety in between the hollow of her closet obviously having handed her dress after dress to try and soothe her.
"Jimin, give me that dress and that Crinolin."
"The blue one?"
"The one thats purple and pink, stat." You know better than to think this is just Tae having nothing to wear, this is dysphoria, the way it clings to her shoulders, makes her turn away from the mirrors. You straighten up and turn to your pack in the door each of them standing at attention.
"Namjoon, go downstairs and bring me up the case that's under Tae's makeup vanity, not next to it, the one under it. It's got her favorites." You turn to Hobi, "find Noodle, she needs a cat in her lap asap."
Tae sniffles, wiping her cheeks, grimacing but then admitting, "a cat would help."
They scatter. "What should I do?" Yoongi asks, rubbing the back of his neck with his hands.
You pause, hover. But Yoongi waits, willing to be ordered around. "you could make us a drink?"
Of course, you don't need to be drunk to play dress up on a good day, it's just that Tae needed a bit of liquid courage after Moonbyul's words, you expect that they've gotten under her skin a little more than she's let on. But if that's under her skin, you're happy to help her put something more fitting over it.
Skirts of tulle and beaded flowers and stars that glitter brighter than the whole sky. Fancy tambour embroidery that must be worth its weight in gold. Pulled gently, mother-of-pearl buttons get stuck in your hair. Expensive draping and diamond collars stitched high against scented throats. Velvet bows and metal boning are hidden by the softest silk.
It's fun to be a girl sometimes, most of the time. Especially when your alphas ask for you to twirl for them. Which is how Namjoon ends up breaking the lamp by your couch by tripping over the floor-length bright pink dress that Tae’s put you in. fluffy tiers of it, bright and flamingo pink. Tae's feeling alot better now, after you'd done her makeup and let her swatch colors of lipstick up and down your arms. Let her choose your outfit and change you a dozen times to find the right dress for you.
You'd done the same with her, you'd put her in the red dress and blushed, and immediately asked her to change. And had pointedly not looked at the delicate daisy print bralette she wore under it, the white and yellow flowers that did everything for her skin.
You remember when that bralet was just hidden in her makeup room. Remember when she'd never worn it, too risky, too much of a confession to the nature of her soul underneath. When it had stayed just there- hidden in the library room, ready to be savored. Now- the yellow on the straps wears off white instead of lemony and you pull them up her shoulders, a kiss to the spot where it sits on her shoulders.
Hoseok sits on the edge of the couch- because all of them had tried and failed to fit on the pink tufted bench upstairs in the dressing room almost breaking it so you had to relocate back to the first floor. Hoseok buries his face in your hip, disappearing into the pink glittery fabric. Laughing and smiling up at you. "You should wear this all the time, you look like a fucking peony,"
"That would be like so impractical." Hobi's cheeks are dotted with kiss prints, "if you want to put makeup on me you better kiss it on" he'd teased, getting drunk quicker than the rest. his cheeks have several small kiss prints four from Tae and five from you.
All of you bear her touch, either by kisses on your cheeks, pink and mauve, or by the glitter that tae's demanded you all wear. You’ve giggled and dotted it across their cheeks to match. Tae has a lot of glitter to go through in her makeup collection, more than she ever logically will in her lifetime or even before they expire. It's okay to use them now.
She sits with Jin, the pack omega's arms full of swatches the same way yours were all those months ago, as Tae explains the merits of each and Jin chooses which glitter he wants on his cheeks. The reflects in this one that's green, not purple- or the pink one with extra little heart glittery bits- her favorite. Jin listens on an astute student, Jimin close at his hip, absorbing her words like they're gospel.
They are gospel. After spending the last few days debating survival strategies- debating glitters is so much better.
Jin lets Tae put his on (white, with extra chunky stars) while you put some on Namjoon's cheeks (champagne colored, almost translucent with how it blends into his skin) and Jimin’s fingers draw idle circles over Tae's back. Between the velvet ribbons that crisscross and tie her corset.
Tae's corset is a deep plumb, but the color of her silk dress fades to pink around her waist and then gauzy white on the floor. Her red toenails are only visible when she sways, "Minnie i'm ticklish there." Jimin just growls in response. Half a pur and half a plea.
Are the others thinking about it like you are? Thinking about Tae in a big white dress, a veil across her face? Are they thinking about how lovely she looks in white? Or how much they'd like to see her in a white dress for them? Just like you are?
Namjoon leans close, between your thighs too. All of them- all of your packmates sit in a line across the couch, ready to be glittered and made up because Tae had requested it. Doing all of their makeup. They'd been so willing, so loving about it. They'd even washed their faces and you'd gotten to clean the salt from Namjoon's cheeks just like you'd wanted. But now-
Now the 4th finger on your hand hums sensitive, Tae has glitter across her knuckles. You haven't thought about your wedding ring since you took it off, and haven't thought about marriage at all. Jimin well- Jimin will be Tae's mate- same way you're Yoongi's. But Tae's ring finger is empty, she doesn't wear a lot of jewelry but-
You don't think about your wedding alot, not at all really. Such a brief little bit of time that started easily the worst time in your life, but you remember the feeling of the dress, tight on your hips- how you couldn't move a full step without help.
Hoseok burrows into the fluff at your hip, really- it must have taken a mile or two of tulle to make a skirt so poofy. It sort of feels like you're wearing a cloud. With Tae's ribcage size and your chest- most of her dresses fit you comfortably. This one is probably the closest, and Tae chose it for you.
Tae chose it for you.
You sneak furtive glances over at Tae while you do Namjoon's makeup. Not much, just a bit of eyeliner and mascara for his sparse lashes. He looks up at you from the couch, eyeliner on one eye, almost masculine in the way it makes his eyes look sharper and dragon like. Concealer for the bags under his eyes.
"Your scent went a little sour then sweet, what were you thinking about?" You continue to put it on him, pat pat pat- quiet for a moment where you choose your words.
"I was thinking about my wedding dress."
Hoseok quiets where he's still burrowing into your hip, maybe more a little alpha-puppyish than you've seen him. You don't blame him, the stress of yesterday has you needing a bit of omegaspace yourself. Your back and shoulders all tense in the way that only ever relaxes when you're brought low and sweet by their care.
But not now- not tonight- maybe tomorrow you'll indulge in omegaspace. Tonight, none of you will sleep or be sensitive just in case something bad happens. Just in case Moonbyul's promises were too good to be true. It might be a good night (verging on morning) but none of you trust the quiet. The rain still pittering on outside. Creaking under the doors with cold damp fingers.
Namjoon's fingers dig warm into the spot under your thighs, the squishy bit of skin between your knees and your mid-thigh. Under the dress but firm, keeping you there in the moment and not sinking back through your memories.
Hobi's eyes are shiny when they look up at you, pinching a bit of the pink tulle between his thumb and forefinger. "What was getting married like? What did you wear for your wedding dress?" Was it everything you dreamed of or could you want that dream again. Who would you want that with, could it be me?
(Hoseok won't have to wonder for long, although he will be disappointed, just a little)
"It was so- so not me- I'd much rather have worn something like this." The dress might be a monstrous concoction of tulle but it's still so cute- so much more- you than anything Geumjae ever put you in.
"Getting married was kinda a blur, alot of people, a lot of talking but- I have pictures of me in it somewhere, do you want to see?" Namjoon nuzzles into your waist, your sternum, and nearly your chest, but you let him. He answers in a purr before Hobi has a chance too.
"No, I don't need to see, you look lovelier in this, I'm sure."
"I never thought a bit of whiskey would draw compliments out of you alpha," You tease, it's a bit of a change from how firm with you he was yesterday but you're not going to look gift horses in the mouth. Namjoon just shakes his head, rubbing his cheeks across your bodice more thoroughly, almost clumsy in his scenting.
"I clearly haven't been doing my job if you think you need to get me drunk to compliment you- I'll happily do it again when we all get sober."
"Like that will ever happen again," Jin snorts, then ducks away from Namjoon's /////' We really shouldn't have that kind of mentality look. They can avoid their pack alpha and pack omega responsibilities and sensibilities for a few moments more. a few days more.
Tae had decided you'd wear this, had picked it out from where it had hung towards the side and she'd even said please. Even if the skirt is so long that you nearly trip over it every time you take a step you'll wear it all night if that's what she wants. Walking is what heels and alphas are for anyway.
You don't look at Hoseok and Namjoon, you just look at Tae, thinking of your wedding. 'I'm gonna marry her one day.' You think.
The whole pack bursts into laughter, and you realize that you've spoken out loud the same second that you trip, hands jerking to catch yourself on Namjoon's shoulders, regardless of the container of glitter that you hold in your hands.
When you look Yoongi has more glitter covering him than a stripper would at Mardi Gras. More than they put on Edward Cullen in Twilight. Their laughter redoubles, and when Yoongi breathes out in a huff, his breath sparkles.
"Jesus fucking Christ."
Your cheeks are brighter than your skirt while Jin tries to clean off his thighs swatting the glitter onto the floor but everyone's laughing too hard to properly help. Yoongi repays their laughter by shaking his hair out over them much to their dismay.
Jungkook is hiccupping with how hard he's giggling, and you're all drunk and in love, and just- there is no harm in it, even as Yoongi sighs and Hobi teases, "You're like fucking Tinkerbell hyung."
Tae doesn't do anything about your confession, doesn't do anything but laugh and tip her hip into yours, it's so much squishier, so much curvier than it once was. The hormones that have been doing her job in making her soft and supple. Curves that you can't help but feel a little bit later when she pushes you into the side of the couch, your dress and her dress mixing their colors.
"So, you wanna marry me huh?" She's so much taller than you, especially in the Versace pumps she put on. So tall and willowy it has you stammering.
"Yeah," you say, a little breathless looking up at her. Gulping as she leans, pinning you there. "If Jimin will let me."
Jimin hasn't seemed to notice that you're having any sort of conversation that should involve him at all, hasn't registered your words at all, too busy staring at Tae with an expression that can only be described as lovestruck, maybe utterly devoted. Your sentiment and want to marry her- hasn't struck him as strange at all. You guess you'll have to ask Yoongi first but when you turn, his cheeks are as pink as your dress.
Jin lunges forward, miming the neck of a champagne bottle as a microphone, doing a silly voice. "Anything to report? any comment Yoongi- knowing that your mate wants to marry someone thats not you?"
Yoongi huffs and it casts a new puff of glitter into the air, "she can marry whoever she wants. She's my mate but- if she wants to yeah-" His shoulders shiver, "we'll not anyone- obviously she's limited to the people in this room but-"
Jin is giggling and so are you, rolling your eyes, "Obviously- not like I'd wanna marry anyone else than you guys-" Hoseok looks away and then back at you but it's a missed moment. Jimin tugs on the laces of Tae's corset and her slight intake of breath has you looking back up at her.
“Did you have to do it so tight?” He asks, eyes on you.
“That’s kinda the point of a corset alpha.”
And then- Hobi slaps the couch. A loud sound but a look says he's not angry, he's running his fingers through some of the glitters there, a little pile, uncovering the faint stain below.
It's a blood splatter. Faded from where Jin poured a whole bottle of hydrogen peroxide over it, but it's faintly there still. Soaked through the fibers and the foam below probably. Maybe all the way to the base and the springs.
They washed it as much as they could, but they still couldn't get it out all the way. The couch, like a few other things in the house like the curtains- will have to be dealt with and disposed of one day. It is a kind of evidence. There's probably enough DNA to pull from it to be worrisome.
“Can we like- burn this fucking thing already?”
He’s progressed past normal drunk to not quite able to stand on his own, might fall over, drunk. The glass in his hand sloshing with every movement as he leans over the edge of the couch. Hobi’s already got some on his cheeks, bright yellow gold that crests the highpoint of his cheekbones and the inner corner of his eyes. It looks like sparks a bit- especially with his red hair.
Jin grimaces, “It was like totally soaked with blood. I did the best I could."
"No one's blaming you hyung-"
"Yeah you did like such a good job. It's just- still kinda covered." Namjoon's always trying to ease Jin's discomfort, encourage him, and that's still true even drunk.
“It's probably still got Namjoon’s cum in it from his last rut too.” Half the pack cringes and scolds Jungkook, but he's recalcitrant. "What? It's probably got your cum on it too- we kinda ruined it before the whole murder thing just saying."
Jungkook hasn’t been drunk in years, he has the lowest tolerance among the eight of you. He bounces giggly, jumping from packmate to packmate, looping his arms around your shoulders and leaning so much of his body weight that you almost topple over, just giggling. Yoongi huffs, a little endeared and a little worried that Jungkook will actually make you fall over.
Jungkook does this to you alot. He likes to overpower you sometimes- not that the hierarchy still needs settling Jungkook just likes to hassle you.
“Hey!” Namjoon chirps from the floor as Jin carefully sweeps up some of the glitter and a few shards from the lamp that Namjoon broke. He’s too drunk to be properly scandalized.
Yoongi sits back against the cushions, drink in his hands swirling. Ice clinking. “Yeah, let’s burn it.”
And burn it you do. The alphas try to lift it all together and almost fall over themselves, barely moving it even an inch before Yoongi decides to cut it up with his power tools and carry it out piece by piece. It makes a fucking mess in the Living Room before you lug it out to the squishy backyard.
Piles of stuffing litter the living room floor like dust bunnies and noodle swats at them, playing.
Yoongi's got the kerosene and you've got the match and the whole thing goes up in seconds, much to Hoseok and Jungkook's whooping delight. Jin's bundled in a blanket, but even he grins at the flames and the bad memories that burn away with it.
Hobi almost throws his car keys into the fire too but doesn’t. Whooping and waving his arms as the flames climb higher and higher. Yoongi squirts more of the lighter fluid until Namjoon says "That's enough" because a trip to the burn unit isn't what any of you want tonight.
The eight of you stand around it and watch it burn and then when you go back upstairs, Seokjin drags the mattress from your old bedroom into the big room- just like you did during Namjoon’s rut. Jungkook’s reallocating all of the pack's nesting materials to make a fort on the ground floor. Yoongi gets up on a chair to measure out where the studs should be so that he can use nails to secure a sheet to the ceiling like a big circus tent.
“It’s a fort hyung! It doesn’t need to be structurally supportive.”
Yoongi just pecks at Jungkook's head from where he stands on one of the pack's dining room chairs, "Not gonna let the world fall down on top of you bunny."
Tae asks Hobi to play bubblegum pop and they’re just so happy to see her smiling and acting anything like herself that they acquiesce to even her most ridiculous requests.
Hoseok turns the music up loud and you all fucking dance. You and Tae twirl and bounce, your big long skirts heavy and all big. Stained with a bit of mud at the bottom of the backyard. Namjoon makes both of you twirl and snag around your waists as you spin past.
You and Tae hop up and down, screaming along to the lyrics so loud that when it quiets- your voices are rough and raw. Chests a bit lighter with each screamed lyric, something awful working its way out of you with every laugh, something necessary in it as you grip each other's arms and yell out your frustrations against the speaker.
And by then Jungkook asks to wear a dress too- and then you’re really all having fun.
Yoongi is wearing a pair of Tae’s fuzzy knee socks and is dancing slowly with Noodle who chirps in his arms- apparently recognizing that your mate is too soft and squishy at the edges to be worth the hissing. Hair mused from some very involved kissing that you know Hobi dragged him away for.
Noodle keeps his claws sheathed for now as Yoongi dances although he does look vaguely annoyed. Like he doesn’t want to enjoy Yoongi’s touch but does. Watching you and Tae show Jungkook how to walk in high heels with beady yellow eyes. Jungkook gets it quick, quicker than you did.
Tae just nips at his cheek, a little bitey and a lot drunk. Jin and Yoongi have run out of frozen fruit so the drinks are a little stiffer. You’ll probably run out of alcohol by morning.
Someone will offer to drive to the nearest liquor store which will immediately be met by shaken heads and refusals, just this once- you can have alcohol and food delivered. Leaving the house right now still feels too scary. Too nerve-wracking.
Why would you ever leave when you have everything you could ever need, everyone you’ll ever love right here in this room? Wearing glitter and dresses and matching pajamas worn at the edges from love and cuddles.
Namjoon is wearing your bottoms. The very first courting present he ever got you, pink with red hearts. They're a bit tight in the ass and more capris, but they fit him either way. You watch as Namjoon’s fingers toy underneath Seokjin’s hem, splaying and petting a little higher. High enough to show a bruise that you didn’t know existed that lies against Jin’s ribcage.
For now, you’re all safe, and Tae tugs Jungkook upstairs in the direction of your dressing room. “Come on kookie I’ve got the perfect thing.” You know she's not tired of playing dress up with just you- she's just happy to have another canvas.
Tae has 7 other canvases actually, once Jungkook gets in on the dress-up, Jimin follows like the puppy alpha he is, and then Hobi and your mate, Jin, and Namjoon because they want to know what you're shrieking about upstairs. And come up to find Yoongi sprawled out on the floor, a fluffy something stuck over his head kinda making him look like a lampshade.
"It's not my fault your waist is like- super tiny. My head's just big."
And that’s how everyone gets in on it. Dresses and fancy shirts, bedazzled belts strung low over Hobi’s hip, and a silk scarf tied around Namjoon’s neck in a big bow. Jin ends up in a silky shirt that actually makes your heart stop, a glittery broach at the collar that Jimin toys with and Jin lets him touch to his heart's content. Dancing and dancing and falling onto the nest that you’re all building so so sloppy. Earning your first real laugh you’ve let out in days.
“Joonie? Can you please- I’ve waited forever to get my ears pierced and you’re like a surgeon- and you just look it up on YouTube and do it,”
You slip on someone's spilled drink almost tumbling into Hobi who goes to snatch your waist but misses. Giddy and giggly, “I can do it! I pierced mine once in elementary school but they healed over!”
“I don’t know if drunk piercings are the best idea.” Jin says, at the same moment that Jungkook chirps, “I’ll do my belly button if you hold ice to it."
Namjoon is the one who ends up doing it, with his gloves and antiseptic and numbing cream. You check to make sure Tae’s are symmetrical and then Jimin’s because of course he wants to be matching with her, then Jungkook and Jin, because they can be giggly and ridiculous too. They’ve got high-quality surgical steal and fancy earrings upstairs that Jimin bought Tae during his mad dash to get her all the girl things after she came out (you're still honestly going through all of it). You give Tae the hoops because you know they won’t tug and pull on her hair and Jimin these little studs with a star on them.
Namjoon does it with a kiss on her cheek and a tiny gauze pad with barely a drop of blood on it folded and thrown away. “Good baby girl, was I gentle enough?” he was, he always is gentle enough.
By the end of the night, you’ve got a secondary piercing, and Tae’s already dreaming about getting more. One at a time Namjoon says, the edge of a pack alpha command in his voice.
~-~
You wake with a pounding headache and to mimosas and a mountain of pancakes that Hobi practically forces down your throat to keep off the worst of the hangover. Until you feel like you might be sick and the pack piles in around where you sit in the bathroom to keep you company through your nausea. A bit more panicky and serious and sober than you have been.
They stroke your back and pile the big blue blanket around you to keep off the shivers. But you don’t vomit somehow, drinking the electrolyte drink that Yoongi practically shoves down your throat. Quieter now that he’s sober but still unable to watch you suffer. Hand on your chin making you drink. You fall asleep soon after that again, overly full.
You sleep for 12 hours, and wake to the sound of retching, but it's just Yoongi- in a similar position as you are. Apparently he Jin and Namjoon stayed up while the rest of the pack went back to bed and decided to play drinking games that have turned into a bad decision. he'll need a shower before long.
He's not the only one whose in a bad way. Hobi wakes from the nest room staring at the ceiling listless. Still wearing the fancy designer clothes that Tae put him in under one of his hoodies. and you know without having to ask that he's thinking about her, about Moonbyul.
But getting over this is going to be a work in progress. Everyone is good one moment and then bad the next, only to be good in an hour, laughing like you were never crying.
Hobi doesn’t want to move, staring blankly at the ceiling Noodle purring against his hip and kneading him, putting holes in his pants. He can’t move from the nest fort in the living room, half open like a clamshell curled away from the entryway. Can't move until Jungkook gets you and you come close and he finally tears his eyes from the ceiling to look at you. You don't have to say a word to him you just guide him into a sitting position and let him rest his face against the crook of your neck.
You help him take off his sweatshirt and when he nods that he's ready, guide him up to the upstairs bathroom where tae is already showering off the scent of fire and glitter. You helped her take off her corset just the same, tugging at the ribbon until it fell loose because Jimin complained that he didn't know how to take it off without hurting the dress.
You strip all of them- Hobi and Yoongi and tae, and get them side by side in the bathtub. A firm layer of foam on the top from Jungkook's favorite purple bubble bath, and have a go at grooming them with Jin and Jungkook. Every inch of your alphas is inspected and tested with teeth and purrs. Hoseok closes his eyes to listen to the sound of them, just after Jungkook man handles the rest of the pack into the deep tub that Yoongi installed for this specific purpose.
Jin's purr is deep, yours is musical almost, and Jungkook's is really similar to noodles. He feels a hand on his cheek and knows without opening his eyes that it's yours rubbing away the wetness there.
"Not crying cuz I'm sad just-" he doesn't have to explain, doesn't have to do anything but close his eyes and let you make it better. If hurts could come out in the wash- you'd be able to get them out. You of all people know how hard it is for him to feel clean, the grubbiness of bad memories and old hurts that stains his bones.
And yet, you still wash him.
You rub a cloth over his shoulders, the tense part of his neck, his spine all gentle. Again and again until he starts to squirm- nothing about the touch, nothing about the grooming selfish. You ask him if he's done and he says not yet so you keep going until the waters gone cold and everyone else has gotten out of the tub.
Namjoon forces about a gallon of water down yoongi's throat, but the worst of the vomiting seems to be over. yoongi sleeps too- out of sync.
Love feels so tight in his chest that Hoseok can't open his eyes. He falls asleep there until Jin starts to tug at him, and when he opens them, he finds that you're in one of Tae's slip dresses- the kind that she likes to sleep in, translucent and soap sudsy at the hem where you got wet washing him.
His voice is croaky but he asks, "Have you eaten?" The answer, of course, is no. But he remedies it easily for you once he's dressed and scented sweet. An eye for an eye, a hurt for a hurt, and a heart for a heart.
You order a new couch somewhere on the third day, blue this time instead of grey- to match the tile backsplash in the kitchen. With fabric that’s comfier this time and actually designed to be turned into a nesting nook when you need it.
Yoongi puts it together sober and then takes it apart just to put it back together again- claiming that one of the legs is squeaky and the middle edge isn't flush. He's feeling better, less hungover and less angry. Happy to have something for his hands to do.
He still doesn’t talk to you more than a few words but he does ask “Hold the flashlight for me?” While Tae is upstairs putting away her torn-apart dressing room with Hobi and Jungkook.
And you do help your mate- standing in your matching pj’s with clean hair and clean minds for the first time in days. Thoughts unclouded by terror or anger or alcohol.
You hold his phone while he tamps down on the leg screws. the sound of the others laughing upstairs, both of you quietly accept for the clink click of the socket wrench. You hold the flashlight, hold it even when Yoongi drops his hands, not looking at you, squatting. It's quiet, Noodle sleeps in a puddle of mid-afternoon sunlight by the front door but it's morning for you- all of you slept till noon.
“I need a moment okay just- give me a second, give me a few days.” You gulp and look at him. But it's as much as Jin has said to you too. As much as any of them have warned. “Give him time pup, he’ll come around.”
“Let me know when you want the next screw.” He turns around, still kneeling before you, hand on your ankle. Circling it slowly and simply. Petting over the ball of your bone and your Achilles tendon. Looking up at you and not saying a thing until you speak.
“You know I’m sorry for it right? That I regret it right?”
“Yeah,” he says, lips downturned “I know. Wish it hurt less that way.”
“If there was something I could do- something that would make it better- you’d tell me right?”
Yoongi pauses, his lips part for a split second and then go closed, and this time his cheeks go pink. But he sounds stronger when he says,
“Yeah, I’d tell you.”
~-~
But it does hurt less this way. All of your secrets and all your shortcomings are out in the open. Day drinking is either a fantastic idea or a terrible one depending on how you look at it. Because for the first time ever you all talk about it instead of keeping it bottled up.
The eight of you are piled into the kitchen, a second food order sits on the fringes in brown paper bags that Hobi doodles on idly with a sharpie, drawing bunnies and noodle and diamond rings and flowers- endless daisies. and then moves to doodling on Yoongi's jeans. Five days in and still completely unwilling to leave the house- still too scary, too many unknowns that linger just outside your door.
The 7 of them sit stretched between the cabinets while you bounce around above them mindful of not tripping on their sprawled legs, cooking up your tiramisu because Hobi had bragged about it and now they all want a taste.
You spin and turn, ducking and dodging needy hands. Jimin leans forward to sneak a quick peck against your knee when you’re mixing some of the egg whites. Jin gets up eventually to help, disliking the way that you teeter too pupish without a reassuring touch and your favorite baking companion at your elbow. Jin ties his apron around your neck and says. “Tell me what to do” Cooking with him is the most normal thing you’ve done in months. You have enough energy for it once.
“You’re making like a double batch, right?” You’re drinking less, all a little less intoxicated, you’d woken up this morning with a headache that faded and now you don’t want to drink anymore, done for the week and maybe the month. Maybe your whole lifetime after almost vomiting- was that yesterday? Or the day before?
“Hyung when I tell you you’re gonna wanna have the whole tray it’s like- so fucking good-”
“You talk a big game Hobi.” Jungkook looks like he wants to be a part of Hobi's big game. Scent swelling sultry and sweet.
There has been surprisingly less sex than you thought there would be although you know that Tae dragged Jimin upstairs late last night for a bit of privacy. It’s nothing like Namjoon’s rut. Without the alcohol, the pack is getting touchier. It’s strange- you almost would have expected them to want more while drinking but it didn’t happen that way.
Now Namjoon’s hand skims your hip whenever you walk past. Stepping over his thick thighs, squishy where they're pulled together to give Yoongi enough room. His hand comes up to toy with the edge of your shirt, A casual yet claiming touch that you pay no mind. Pinching the chub there and murmuring a quiet "fuck."
You raise your eyebrow at him, a bit self-conscious but still willing to let him do what he wants, "having fun Joonie?" You taunt. He leans forward, nose nudging under your shirt, dragging his teeth over the small swell of your stomach in reply. It's nothing new (well you being a bit chubbier is- but you're learning to live with it).
the mood is light until Jin asks you how you did it, how you killed the don and his beta.
Your recipe book is open in front of him- and that has to be part of the reason why it comes to him. It’s not a secret anymore. Yoongi doesn’t look bothered as the pack quiets down and you tell them everything.
How Moonbyul convinced you to help her do it, how you actually killed them, how she disposed of the evidence. All of it. Jungkook's fingers come up to skim over the scars on your back and you catch his hand gently, taking it away from them because you don't want him to touch them now.
It's the first time you've addressed the elephant in the room in 5 days and it feels-
It feels good to talk about it. To get it off your chest.
You've always told yourself that you had to kill them, it was either them or you, and they were bad people anyway. Who knows how many innocents had fallen under their hands- certainly more than have fallen under Moonbyuls.
You did what you had to do to survive and there was no way out. But part of you has always wondered if that was true.
The pack makes you feel like it is the truth. That killing to survive was all you could do.
But it’s Hobi who bends forward along with Jin, “hang on hang on- fucking cupcakes? You poisoned the head of the fucking mafia using fucking cupcakes?”
You blush, and Namjoon drags his finger through some of the whipped cream you’ve already made for the tiramisu. You gave him the bowl after you were done with it and he lifts it up to lick at the bottom, practically putting his face in the metal bowl. Jungkook licks the spoon and Tae tries not to watch his lips pucker. He fidgets, Thigh-shimming where he squirms tucked into Hobi's side.
Jin's hand on his chin guides the alpha to look up, checking to make sure that he's alright. You don't have to wonder why because last night- Hoseok woke up from nightmares again.
It was just like your nightmares. One moment you'd been nuzzling into him in sleep, and the next moment his hands had been shaking pushing you off of him. Smelling angry- his caramel scent going burnt and off the more he woke, you'd stayed up with him and piled blankets into the bathtub until he'd fallen back asleep again. Yoongi waited on the fringes with water until Hoseok had fallen asleep fitful- but asleep.
He'd woken up without an appetite, but when you'd asked him he'd said the only thing he might be able to eat was your tiramisu, so here you are. Nightmares are easy to deal with, Hoseok's nightmares are something you can handle.
“I bet they were fucking delicious.”
“Thank you Joonie, they were.”
Jin and Jimin are staring at you open-mouthed. But there are more questions- clarifications that everyone needs to ask. It feels good to finally talk about this freely.
“Wait wait wait let me get this straight- Jin’s been working for the FBI for how many years?”
“Only 6” Jin says at the same time Yoongi says, “6 and ½” and they shoot each other looks before Jin nods, and agrees. Eyes still on Yoongi. Jin and Yoongi are looking at each other with more love than is necessary. And Yoongi answers everyone’s unsure glances.
“I knew from the beginning and it didn’t matter.” Jimin bristles like it should certainly matter but Yoongi squeezes his good shoulder. “It doesn’t matter anymore.” Yoongi furrows his eyes, looking at Jimin's shoulder, and asks Namjoon if Jimin's stitches are ready to come out.
They are, so Namjoon gets his medical bad and Jimin takes off his shirt. A pair of forceps and medical scissors in his hands as he snips through Jimin’s stitches and carefully pulls them out one by one, wearing sterile rubber gloves but pausing to let Jin feed him more spoonfuls of whipped cream.
“Yeah,” Jin says, contemplating. “It doesn’t matter. They were so like bureaucratic anyway."
"You're not gonna miss it?" Jungkook asks, and Jin shakes his head.
"It's not worth it, I'll find something else to do, I've got like a stellar recommendation from them anyway."
It’s not just that secret that you talk through; you also talk through jimin and yours. nothing hidden anymore. No reason to hide it.
“Of course, I recognized you Minnie- I met you before I met anyone else- Before I even met you Yoongi.” Now that- Yoongi really doesn’t understand. But Jimin is already explaining before he has a chance to ask. And by the end of it- Yoongi wants to drive hoseok's car into the wall, trembling with how angry he is at past you for being so stupid.
“A fucking bar? You met Jimin at a fucking bar and you didn’t even try and hide the fact that you wanted to kill my brother?”
“Well I wanted to hire an assassin and he was there so-“
“Of course, she was gonna hire an assassin hyung, her ex-husband was like a total dick- like even more of a dick than Moonbutt or whatever her name is.”
“Moonbitch Kookie.”
You skim your fingers through Hobi’s hair, checking to see if he’s alright and he nods, catching your hand and pressing a fleeting kiss there. You need your hands to bake but Hoseok holds onto them a moment longer than is necessary.
“God that's so dumb” Jin slaps Namjoon's arm and he realizes what he just said, his shoulders curling in, “wait you are not dumb and I am just stressed because I’ve never made ladyfingers before- please don’t think I actually meant that-”
Namjoon rolls his eyes, he’s well aquatinted to how punchy Jin can get when he's tired. That’s nothing new. Jungkook spills across Yoongi’s thighs in mock misery, but he doesn’t react beyond skimming a hand up Jungkook’s back, first over his tee shirt and then under it.
Yoongi turns to you, where you hold a piping bag filled with creamy batter, taking even deep breaths as you pipe out the first few ladyfingers, showing Jin how to do it without getting bubbles in most of them. “You knew didn’t you?” He’s not accusatory. Just surprised. “That it was dangerous, you knew you could die and you did it anyway.”
You nod without pause, “I’d done more dangerous things by then, It was only a matter of time before someone figured out I’d killed the don and I wanted to make sure I got to see him die before they got to me.”
Yoongi takes a sip of his glass, angry at you for making poor decisions back before he even knew you. Angry even though his anger has nowhere to go that's good.
“You have to be more careful.”
“All of us have to be more careful,” Hobi replies he doesn’t like the reproach in Yoongi’s voice. Doesn’t like the way he’s been talking to you. But all the anger and all the pain is healing (it's all just love with nowhere to go. All you have to do is give it time.)
The wounds on your hands are closing slowly- healed enough already that it doesn’t hurt when you hand over the piping bag to give Jin a chance to try. You've done the first 12 ladyfingers and he does the next two dozen to get the hang of it. When Tae asks, you show her how to pipe out a little heart, and then JK wants to make a dick-shaped one and you let him. He gets more of the batter on his sleeve, but you made extra just in case something like this happened.
Jungkook sits up abruptly, wide bunny eyes dark and glassy upturned at you, glancing between you and Jimin, “What did- what does killing feel like?”
“Oh my god Jk you can’t just ask that.”
“No, he can ask I just-“ Jimin swallows, and puts his hand down. He's holding a piece of gauze where Namjoon puts the small cut pieces of the suture. Tinged pink from a little bit of blood. His chest shines in the half-light, the little bit of antiseptic glimmering around the freshly pulled stitches on his shoulder catching the light. Jimin’s face twists in pain, but you know it’s not his incision that’s bothering him. Namjoon's gentle as he pulls the last one.
“I don’t want you to think less of me.”
Everyone’s silent, no one rushes to reassure him, because the truth is that you don’t know. You put your hand over his squeezing- the best that you can offer. Jungkook pushes on, undeterred, “Tell us about the first time.”
“The first time was an accident- it was- before you guys just before Tae went to school- right when she started and I wasn’t thinking. Someone rushed at one of my private clients and I just-“ Jimin's eyes go dark and he picks at one of the stures until Namjoon pushes his hands away.
"You did what you were hired to do," Namjoon asks, and Jimin nods. You and Jin finish the tiramisu and Yoongi reaches out a hand to help you sit with the two big trays of it, portioning them out onto the plates.
"I protected them at a cost." Jimin stares down at his plate, the perfect square on it. and you nudge it until he eats it. “That music executive” Tae blurts, eyes shining, connecting the dots “you were really quiet after you came back but then you got buys, I just thought-” She goes quiet when you feed her the first bite, letting out a surprised but appreciative hum, distracted by how good it tastes, "This is really good." Yoongi huffs, rueful in his understanding. “All they really need is one kill on you and they’ve got you for good.” But that's all in the past now, Jimin is never going to have to kill someone again, even if he did get paid for it.
He lifts a fork to his mouth, pulling back after a second and furrowing his eyebrows. licking the cream from his lips slowly, eyes narrowing.
"Okay now I'm really angry, how have you never made this for me?"
"You never asked Yoongi."
"We'll I'm asking now, I can't believe you kept this from me for so long. Can you make it on my birthday?" You blush, bright red, and Jungkook leans over to press his nose into your flushed cheek.
Jimin answers Jungkook's question after a few bites. “It didn’t bother me, after a while it didn’t bother me at all" Jimin turns to Jin, eyes shining with unshed tears, "hyung, does that make me crazy? Does that make me a psychopath?”
Jin swallows softly around his bite of tiramisu, it really is quite good, top 5- if not top 3 on his list of favorite desserts you've made. “I’m not sure. There is an assessment as a part of the DSM-5. I could test you if you want. Although I’m not sure I could be totally impartial.”
Jimin looks winded, desperate from the line of hope that Jin dangles in front of him, a chance at salvation. Jimin has always wanted to know- in that same twisted way he’s always wondered if he and Tae were going to go to the same place when they died- if he was honest to god crazy. Jimin’s always wanted to know what makes him so different than other people. always looked for a reason and now jin might give him one.
“What do you mean by impartial?”
Jin sets down his fork. “Jimin, do you think any of us wouldn’t do what we had to do to survive I mean- Tae and Y/n killed someone over there 6 days ago. Do you think that makes them psychopaths? Do you think that makes them damned?”
Jimin’s chest heaves and he can’t answer Jin, But after a second, Jimin asks again, “You’ll assess me then?” Tae's fingers rub mindless patterns over the back of Jimin’s hand, her knuckles are still bruised.
“The next day we’re both alone in the house.” He grimaces, “It’s the least I could do after shooting you.”
Jimin whines, mood lightening. “Come on, you know I don’t take it personally.”
At the end of the day, the fact that Jimin’s a killer hurts less than you might think, although their pack has their own questions about it, Tae too, although her questions are limited, Jimin answers each of them truthfully and honestly. He'd never think of lying to her about this, not anymore, not again.
When it comes down to it there is a lot you’re willing to justify when it comes to the people you love and the people you choose. You’re all killers and liars and secret keepers. No true sinner and no true saint between the eight of you. It’s a good thing that you have more than enough love to go around.
Enough for a lifetime you think. You’ll have to wait and see.
“You realize everything you’ve said is insane right” Namjoon’s not angry, just tired and full as he sprawls out. Uncaring of everything that’s been said, unthreatened. “Like- actual mafia movie insane right? Are your names even your real name?”
Yoongi can’t keep in his snort. “Of course? What kind of question is that?”
You give them a look, “Actually…” The uproar is immediate, and everyone shouts their indignance and disbelief. All but roaring in shock, your laugh rings high and loud.
“Kidding! Just trying to lighten the mood!” Jin playfully drags you over his lap, swatting your ass playfully in punishment. Your laughing only gets louder. He leaves a coco-colored hand print on your white shorts.
Tae’s in more of a joking mood now, “am I allowed to use this for my next storyline?”
“Yes” and “Definitely not!” are mutual cries.
Maybe you don’t need to know everything about the person you love. Maybe love is just understanding someone’s secrets and loving them anyway. Maybe the biggest lie that Namjoon can tell himself- to preserve their family that they’ve forged through fire and fucking blood is that Jimin only ever had to kill when he needed to. He parts his thighs after he throws away his gloves- not even bloody, and Jimin slides in between them relieved.
His back resting against Namjoon’s chest, a happy growl grumble slipping out as he tests his hands, and Namjoon tests how far Jimin’s fingers can bend. “Pt starts tomorrow” Namjoon intones, a warning in his voice. Jimin nods, perfectly obedient.
“The rest of our lives start tomorrow too.” No one disagrees.
Jungkook is giggly and sits between Yoongi’s thighs, whipped cream on his cheek, they’ve already finished the first tray of tiramisu that you’d made and are making a serious dent in the second one. Cooking for them fills you with that same warm feeling as it always does. Cooking is a love language. food too. Your stomach is full of it.
“Hang on hang on- let me get this straight-“ Jungkook ticks them off one by one on his fingers. “Jin’s an FBI agent. Jimin’s an assassin. And you almost were one too?”
You roll your eyes, but nod anyway. It's truth enough- it's pretty obvious to you that's what Moonbyul and Hyejin had to slated for (privately Jimin wonders what your moniker might have been. Would you have been the flower to his snake? The dove to Hyejin's bumblebee?)
Jungkook points his finger at Hoseok next to you, the two of you share a fork and a plate smudged with chocolate and whipped cream. Namjoon has completely given up on portioning out his onto a plate and goes at the tray with Jin, a fork between the two of them.
“Hobi’s exes are the current head of a fucking crime family- and Yoongi’s like the heir to some fucked up advice column throne thing- that I still don't quite understand but- Has everyone been keeping something from each other this whole damn time?”
“Does mine even count? It’s not like I knew my ex was like- a fucking mafioso or whatever-”
“I mean- I kept the secret that I was a girl for like- my whole fucking life so I feel like everyone else gets a pass.”
Jimin combs a hand through Tae’s hair, looking down at her and rubbing away a smudge of tiramisu with his thumb. And you hit Namjoon’s knees with your socked feet. Your socks have strawberries on them and a hole at the toe. “You definitely get a pass baby girl.”
“What about you Joonie? Any secrets up your sleeve?”
Your pack alpha shrugs. Eyebrow's furrowing as he thinks hard about it. “I think the only secret I’ve ever kept from you guys was throwing out the lease that one time-“
“Oh my god I completely forgot about that-” “Yeah, Jin hyung was so so mad. Almost as mad as Yoongi is.”
Your mate spills his plate with you quick he leans over to pinch Hobi’s scent gland. “Hey, I’m working on it!”
His last bite slips off his plate and plops onto the ground. Noodle darts forward, trying to get to it before you snatch him back. Unfortunately, no one thinks to do the same with Jungkook.
The hardwood floors have seen worse things in recent days than some whipped cream and everyone lets out belated 'No!' and Gross Jk' as Jungkook leans over to lick it up. You laugh as Hobi snatches Yoongi’s plate and holds it over his head, almost dropping it on himself with how Yoongi lunges. And Jin holds his plate of tiramisu out of reach of their roughhousing.
You rest your head on Tae’s shoulder and watch your pack bicker and then shoot it out for the last slice of tiramisu. Yoongi wins and licks the tray clean, getting a tiny spot of cream on his nose that Jin kisses off. She laces your hand with hers.
Both of you have lipstick swatches from yesterday still on the back of your palms, the faint imprint of the colors of your kisses that her fingers trace idly, gently. The memory there for now but not for long. “What about you Kookie? Any secrets tucked up against your sleeve?”
Jungkook presses a finger to his lips, almost coquettish with how wide his eyes go. “What hyung? Me?” Yoongi leans into his space, wrapping his arms around his knees. “Yeah, seems like everyone’s got a secret but you.” “Hyung, you know if I’ve got a secret- it’s one I’ll never tell.”
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Notes:
Trying my hardest <3 I'm admittedly having a tough time right now, this chapter felt very nice to write because it's all about the beginning of the packs happy ending <3
i personally think they should have all fucked on the floor in tae's dresses, but thats just my personal thoughts about it all. this is one of the few times that i have pictures in my head of the dresses that tae and the m/c wear but i cannot find pictures online that match for the life of me!!!
The moonbitch moment made it into the chapter- idk who it was that commented that but 😂 i lowkey loved it so it made it in <3
What i've been trying to get at with most of the yoongi/m/c healing arc in this chapter is that they both need to be fully actualized and fully realized players in their relationship. yoongi does not and has not told her his wants and needs very often in the story- and that changes after this chapter- because in the moment they're putting together the sofa he realizes 'oh i actually can tell her what i need' it's important to note that the mc has healed to this point like- earlier in the story she might have taken any request from yoongi as criticism.
idk if anyone saw where i was talking about the eventual like 50 year end for the story like- where i think they all end up. but knowing that tae, hobi, and the m/c are the last packmates left alive into their 80's makes the conversation about the m/c marrying tae and not hobi all the more like...ah, sad maybe? i originally planned for tae and the m/c to be the last alive but maybe it should be the m/c and hobi- do you think they'd get married after tae died?
i love that tae and the m/c fit the tall and short lesbian niche that i am so so into like- i know i went on a bit about them but they are very in love and their love story has been some of my favorite in this book. i felt like this chapter needed a bit of glitter.
idk if i mentioned tae having her ears pierced before- but just pretend that i haven't!
i added the part with the m/c washing hobi at the last minute but let me tell you that part did almost make me cry so...
i ended up having to cut the after part of this chapter, but i kinda like it better that way because then yoongi doesn't forgive her right away. idk, that was the main part i wanted to work on for this chapter so its kinda good that i get to wait a little bit.
i've been...admitedly, dangerously depressed for the last two weeks, and i think working on this chapter made me realize that working on bily, writing stuff, is legitimately the only time i am happy and one of like 3 things that makes me feel okay, i hope it makes you feel okay too <3
Until next time!
Eleven
Master List
Synopsis: in a world where alphas, betas, and omegas live along side modern humans as second class citizens, you've fallen through the cracks of a society that wants to take everything wonderful from you. Luckily a timely encounter with the boys just might save your life.
Chapter summary: You get close with Jimin. Hobi teaches you about nesting.
Warnings: um, a super high likelihood of you dying of cuteness, crying, screaming, throwing up. A tiny bit of angst.
WC: 8k
"It's a nice house," you murmured when Yoongi stopped the car out front.
Something quiet and grumbly started low in Yoongi's chest. "It wasn't our choice."
You looked over at him. "What do you mean?"
Jimin gave him a playfully disapproving look and then turned his eyes on you. "Hobi and Jin kind of…blindsided the rest of us with the move. Believe me when I say Yoongi and I really wanted to be there and wait for you to come like we hoped you would. But Hobi thought this house would have a perfect room for you, and at least in that way he was right. Are you ready to go inside?"
You looked up at Yoongi, but his expression betrayed no expectation. He would wait out here with you all night until you were ready to go in. But you swallowed and nodded. Might as well get it over with. "Is everyone home?"
"It looks like everyone but Jungkook," Jimin answered as he got out and held out a hand for you.
"He must be mad at me," you said softly.
"Why would he be?" Jimin asked, genuinely unaware of your worry.
"Because of last night." You hesitated on the sidewalk, waiting for Yoongi to come around the car before you went any closer. When he got to your side, he had your bag over one shoulder and his hand casually brushed yours away when you tried to reach for it.
"He's not mad. No one is. He was just doing his job," Yoongi told you with a reassuring hand on your shoulder.
Jimin gave you an encouraging smile and led you up the steps to the front door. The door had been unlocked, but as soon as the three of you walked through you heard Yoongi shut it and turn deadbolt. You followed through the hallway back to the kitchen and living area until you saw Hoseok and Taehyung in the kitchen. The omega looked up and between the three of you expectantly, and when his eyes came to rest ultimately on you, you guessed that he was waiting for some information.
"I guess I'm staying," you said quietly.
Hoseok put down the knife he was holding and started to come around the counter, but he stopped a few feet away and looked at Yoongi. "Permission to hug the shit out of your omega, alpha?"
Yoongi tried to suppress his smile, but it was evident in his sparkling eyes. "Sure. Be careful, she's very delicate."
"I am n–" Your protest was cut off by the bone crushing grip the other omega caught you in while the other three men around you laughed.
"I'm so happy you're staying. I missed you," he said quietly. The admission left you with an odd mixture of guilt and joy.
"I'll go put your bag in your room while you help Hobi with dinner," Yoongi said as your feet touched the ground again. You nodded obediently, and he rewarded you with a pat on the head.
"What are we making?" You asked, walking deeper into the kitchen.
"Do you like spaghetti?" Hobi asked and you nodded. Jimin joined Tae at one of the barstools and they watched their omegas attentively. "Then you can brown the meat and onions," he smiled.
Yoongi ascended the stairs, but instead of going straight to your room, he left your bag on the floor of the hallway and entered the pack's nest room. Namjoon and Jin must have gotten home just before your trio, because the two of them were both in the process of changing their work clothes for something more comfortable. Yoongi ran a finger over the back of one of the books on the nightstand by Joon's side of the bed. The man read two to three books a week, on a slow week, and he had the habit of turning the ones he completed on their covers in a separate stack. Today, there were two turned over next to another one laying face up.
"Do you want Y/N to take these to work with her tomorrow?" Yoongi asked nonchalantly.
Namjoon looked over at him from the walk in closet between the bedroom and the bathroom. "If she doesn't mind," Namjoon shrugged.
"Where does she work?" Jin asked innocuously. Namjoon froze.
"Joon?" Yoongi prompted. The other alpha merely shook his head. "Jin?"
"I asked. How would I know?" The leader responded.
"She works at the library, Jin," Yoongi explained. "How come Joon knows that and you don't? And more importantly, how come no one told me?"
Jin's eyes went wide and his mouth hung open. "I didn't know, Yoongi. I swear I didn't. I would have told you, if I did," he defended. Yoongi nodded, wanting to believe him. Both men turned toward the closet. "Joon?"
The youngest of them shrugged. "I have a better sense of smell than Jin does. Maybe that's why he didn't notice."
"Namjoon, don't beat around the bush. Why didn't you say anything? Even to me?" Jin's genuine confusion did the job of convincing Yoongi of his ignorance.
Namjoon looked like a deer in the headlights as he struggled to come up with a reason. "I-I just…I don't know," he stuttered.
"Try again," Yoongi said, his face as stoney as his tone.
"You knew Yoongi was desperate to find her," Jin said when Namjoon continued to flounder.
"I was afraid that if they found her, Yoongi and Jimin would leave us for good," he said quietly.
Yoongi scoffed. "Please, if anything that only would have made you tell us sooner."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Namjoon fired back.
"Keep your voice down," Yoongi growled quietly. "What I mean is, I'm sure you wouldn't miss a chance to get rid of me."
Namjoon looked genuinely wounded by that notion. "I don't know why you would think that, Yoongi, but it isn't true. I don't want you gone. I would never…"
Yoongi shook his head. "Maybe not. But that's not the reason you didn't say anything, is it?"
"Hobi–"
"Don't even! Hobi has wanted another omega more than any of us. Again," Yoongi ordered.
"Just tell us the truth, Joon," Jin added, more softly.
"Fine," Namjoon sighed. "I didn't want another omega distracting Jin!"
The man in question scrunched his face. "What do you mean?"
"I just…after the last year I wanted more of your attention, not less, okay? And things have been so much better recently for you and me. I didn't want to ruin it by bringing her into the mix. What if she gives you pups? What if she changes everything?"
"Namjoon, that isn't going to happen." Jin approached the other man in a soothing gesture.
"Damn right it isn't," Yoongi interjected, stopping him in his tracks. "Both of you listen to me. Y/N is staying here for as long as she wants. If she chooses to go, then Jimin and I will go with her. I hope she'll choose to stay here, and we can be one big happy pack. But for now, she's my omega and she's Jimin's omega, and until she decides, until she asks for that to change, you'd better remember that. She's terrified that either of you could kill her without batting an eye, so I recommend you don't even look at her the wrong way. And as far as pups goes," Yoongi paused to stare Jin directly in the eyes, "I gave her my word that no one in the house would breed her, and if I catch you even thinking about it, there will be hell to pay. No one lays a hand on her without her explicit permission. Is that understood?"
The other two alphas only managed to nod sheepishly, but Yoongi felt assured he had made himself clear. Still, he stepped closer to Namjoon so he could speak directly to his face. "If you ever keep something important about her from me again, or if you ever try to get rid of her, I will never speak to you again."
"Yoongi," Jin's voice came out low and commanding, but gentle as he placed a hand on his chest, "don't say things you don't mean. I know you're angry and you want to protect her. I get that. I already told you I'll respect whatever you want to pursue with her, however you want. But you're still part of this pack, and Namjoon is still your packmate. Go take care of your girl and cool off for a bit."
Yoongi huffed and turned away to leave, but Namjoon's voice stopped him. "I'm sorry, hyung. If I had known she would get hurt…I should have told you."
Yoongi bit back another sharp remark and left the room.
You should be doing that.
"Tae and Jimin always do the dishes together," Hoseok told you as he watched you shift nervously at the edge of the kitchen. "It's one of their ways of spending time together."
You let out a soft whine, which had Yoongi's ears perking up. "Alphas don't do dishes," you whispered.
Hobi scoffed. "Mine do. Who told you that?" When you didn't answer, he could only guess. "You'll get used to it. Our alphas aren't like others, I promise you that." When you peered up at him uncertainly, he took your hand and tugged you to the stairs. "Let's go get you settled in your room."
Yoongi hesitated as he watched the two of you head upstairs. He still didn't want to let you out of his sight. But he didn't want to hover, and he wanted to give you the chance to nest in peace with Hobi's help, if that's what you wanted. He resigned himself to sitting on the couch with Jin and Namjoon to watch TV.
In your new room, Hobi turned on several lamps with the click of a remote and you were able to take in the room in the soft light he had designed for you. The light greens and creamy whites combined for soothing vibes.
"You took apart the nest," you observed softly after taking a look around the room.
Hoseok went over to lift the lid on a chest at the end of the bed. "I thought you might want to do it yourself," he said when he revealed the blankets that were stored inside like treasures.
You recoiled slightly at the thought of how badly you wanted them. "I'm no good at making nests."
Hobi frowned and walked closer to you. "Yoongi told me what happened last night. I don't think you're bad at it. I think you just need more practice in a safe environment. You'll always be safe to nest in my house, Y/N. In fact, it's strongly encouraged."
You knew he meant it, but you couldn't help feeling uneasy. "Don't you need these blankets?"
He shook his head. "We've gone tons. I could make each of them their own nest. But these should be enough for you. Besides, this one is yours," he said, lifting a light purple one off the top and holding it out to you.
"Mine?" You gripped the soft fabric under your fingers. It was softer than the one you had coveted last night at Kate's.
He nodded. "It's the one Yoongi gave you last night, but you probably couldn't see it. He said it's a courting gift, or it was supposed to be but he wanted you to have it last night regardless. He'll definitely get you more though if you like it. Do you want pillows for nesting? You'll have to tell him. He'll get you anything you want."
"I don't really know," you mumbled. You wanted to start trying, but you couldn't bring yourself to do it. The voices in your head had been mostly quiet since your conversation with Yoongi and Jimin earlier. Not gone completely, just quiet, like whispers you can't make out when someone is talking about you behind your back. Then again, maybe it was just that Hoseok made you nervous in the way it was intimidating to be in the kitchen with a master chef. You had no idea where to start, and he was a pro. Would you do something silly and end up looking foolish to him?
He'd never think so. Each nest should be whatever the omega who made it wanted. But he understood that it was intimate and maybe given your difficulties, him being there only made it harder for you. "I can leave, if that would help you feel more comfortable."
"Maybe," you breathed, afraid of being rude.
Hoseok smiled brightly, hoping to put you at ease. "Oh! Before I go," he moved to the other side of the room to the armoire. "You can hang your stuff in here or put it in the dresser. Make yourself at home. This is your home now."
Your bottom lip trembled so you bit down on it and took a deep breath through your nose. "Thanks, Hoseok."
He reached down to tousle your hair gently. "I'm glad you're here, pup. And you can call me Hobi." He offered you another shining smile before he left you on your own.
You decided to unpack your things first, casting sideways glances at the blankets waiting to be arranged for comfort. The problem was, you didn't have much. One small bag of worn clothes that you'd bought at the second hand shop at True Life Ministry. You'd never tell anyone but most of it was found in the children's section. After you changed, there wasn't anything left to distract you from the task you had subtly been given.
You did your best to recreate what you can remember from the previous two nests that Hobi had made for you. You'd slept better those two nights than any other time in your life. And if that was what Yoongi was used to sleeping in all the time, then it was the standard you'd have to aspire to.
Not that Yoongi would want to sleep in your nest.
Maybe the voices were coming in a little louder than before. It wasn't so hard to let them in when you are alone and it was quiet. You were just debating with yourself about stuffing Yoongi's mustard yellow hoodie somewhere in the folds and wondering about pillows when a knock on the door pushed it from cracked open to just wide enough for Jimin's head to pop in.
"Hey, Y/N. Are you okay?"
You coughed and shoved the sweatshirt into the mess of blankets. "I'm fine. What's up?"
"I was hoping maybe you'd be interested in some cuddle time. Yoongi said not to push, and I don't want to overwhelm you on your first official day with us, but I think it would be nice."
Yes yes yes
Did he know his smile was so charming? You cleared your throat. "Now?"
Jimin nodded. "We're about to watch a movie downstairs. There's a big chair in the living room. I think the two of us could get very cozy there. We'd be separated from the others."
You agreed, though he could see you were visibly nervous. You joined him at the door, but he didn't move.
"You can bring your new blanket if you want," he offered softly. You agreed and grabbed the fluffy purple blanket you had been saving for the top of your nest before following him down to the living room.
Downstairs, Hobi and Jin were cuddled up on a puffy leather loveseat. Namjoon and Yoongi sat at opposite ends of a long couch where Taehyung had taken advantage of Jimin's short absence to lay his head in Yoongi's lap while his feet stretched into Namjoon's. All five sets of eyes followed the two of you as you passed by the tv to get to the oversized chair on the other side of the room. Jimin sat down with just enough room to his side for you to sit, but you hesitated. Instead of waiting for you to figure it out, he simply grabbed you by the hips and pulled you down.
"Jimin, behave yourself," Yoongi warned when you let out a surprised yelp.
"I am, hyung," Jimin grinned as he manhandled you into a comfortable position. You weren't quite sitting on him, but when he pulled your legs over his and your thighs were touching, you weren't exactly not sitting on him either. He helped you spread the blanket over your legs and wrapped an arm around your waist. Your chests were pressed together just barely. "Breathe," he whispered to you when he noticed you were holding in your breath. You did as he said, taking in his faint lavender scent as you breathed deep, and you felt yourself relax into him. You thought you would feel uncomfortable, but it was the opposite. You fit perfectly into him and he seemed perfectly content to have you there.
For several minutes after the movie started, he simply let you rest there and get used to the closeness. Soon his thumb began to stroke softly where he held your side. You were facing the TV, so you couldn't see, as Jimin could, the way Yoongi watched the two of you with envy. Jimin knew what he was thinking as clearly as if he could read the alpha's mind. There was room enough on the chair for all three of you, if Yoongi were in the middle and the two of you on his lap.
After about fifteen minutes, your focus was solidly on the plot unfolding on the screen, and although Jimin's thoughts had been almost completely on you, he could tell you were no longer thinking about the ways your bodies were touching. You seemed fully comfortable, and he decided he could push it a little further. He knew Yoongi disagreed by the dark stare and slight shake of his head that he gave, but Jimin was undeterred. He leaned into you, pressing his forehead to your temple to get closer to your scent.
"Do you know you have such a nice scent, pup?" Jimin whispered into your ear, smiling when he felt the chill go down your spine.
"I think it's just okay," you breathed back. Barely making a sound, you held completely still.
Jimin shook his head. "It's so fresh and crisp. But it's even nicer when you get warm and sweet." He snapped his teeth close to your scent gland, and to your surprise, you giggled.
"Jimin," Yoongi warned in a deep voice, not quite a growl, but very commanding.
"Trust me, hyung," Jimin responded quietly. "You're alright, aren't you, pup?"
Jimin's nose nudged at your ear, and you began to feel fuzzy and warm around the edges. As he nosed at your hairline with soft sniffs, you felt yourself go from relaxed to boneless. His lips unintentionally skimmed your jaw as you turned your head to look at Yoongi.
"S'okay, alpha." Those little words and the deep dark look in your eyes were all the reassurance he needed.
Jimin loved to sweeten his partners' scents. All it took was some careful touching, some gentle prodding to get them soft and warm. Doing it to Hobi was one of his favorite things to do before bed. To get Hobi all warm brown sugar sweet made the nest perfect for falling asleep. The omega always got particularly hazy when Jimin got his way, but it worked for the alphas, too. Taehyung especially got cute and giggly whenever he and Jimin cuddled and the beta got access to his neck.
Now, he pressed his lips into the soft warm spot under your chin. It wasn't quite a kiss, but only because the intention was clearly not sexual. It was no less intimate though. You'd never known anything like this kind of touch. You knew, or instinctively trusted, that his actions were intended to soothe you. You let him nuzzle into your neck and smiled as you sank further into him.
"You smell as sweet as apple pie, pup. Like pup pie," he cooed, and you giggled in unison.
Yoongi deserved an award for the self-restraint he was showing in letting Jimin have you all to himself, but he wasn't alone. Hoseok also watched your every move while wanting to pick the two of you up together and plant you in his nest so that your warm apple scent could soak into every layer.
"She almost smells as good as she did in heat," Taehyung remarked to Yoongi, which earned him a pinch on the side.
Jimin settled a little, wrapping his arm around your legs and pulling you closer. He tucked your head under his and let you rest against his shoulder. "Do you feel happy?" He asked so only you could hear as he scent marked the top of your head.
You hummed contentedly and nuzzled into him in response, and that's where you stayed until the end of the movie.
"Time for bed, princess," Yoongi said softly with his hand on your shoulder. You hadn't quite fallen asleep, but you hadn't been paying much attention to the movie after Jimin had gotten you all gooey and warm. You blinked up at the alpha just as the lights came on and stung your eyes. "Do you need me to carry you upstairs?"
You were still too fuzzy to feel any real shame, but you denied his offer nonetheless. You accepted his hand to help you up and off of Jimin and found your legs a little shaky, but you insisted you could make it on your own. Slowly and carefully, you made your way up the stairs and went to brush your teeth while the others cleaned up downstairs. Yoongi met you in your room shortly after you emerged, holding your blanket.
"Hobi said it was a courting gift," you said softly when you took it from him.
Yoongi cleared his throat nervously. "Well, yeah, that's what I had wanted it to be. I didn't think it would be a good idea to bring it up last night though, and you needed it then, so…" he trailed off shyly.
"I love it. Thank you." You stepped closer to him and reached on your tippy toes to kiss his cheek, but barely made his chin. "I'll definitely use it in the nest," you added to cover your awkwardness.
"You made a nest?" He smiled.
"I tried."
"It's great," he assured you. He couldn't tell you just how lovely it looked and how much he wanted to give it a try. Even if Jimin thought you could use a little push—even if he had been right—Yoongi wouldn't push his way in with you. He would court you properly and wait for you to set your boundaries. "I hope you sleep well and have sweet dreams," he said as he stepped in and gave you a hug with a subtle mark to the top of your head, so you'd feel at least a little claimed. "Goodnight, Y/N."
With that he left you on your own. You stood by the bed for several minutes, listening to the pack turn off lights and shuffle upstairs before you finally heard their bedroom door click closed.
We told you he wouldn't want your stupid nest.
With shaking hands, you grabbed the bottom of the blankets on your bed and pulled them onto the floor.
It's really pathetic that you even tried.
You pulled your purple blanket over your head to muffle the voices and sank to the ground beside the ruins and tried to keep your tears silent.
The house was quiet and still when Jungkook got home, but something about it felt off. After he removed his shoes, he checked each room on the first floor carefully for anything amiss before he ascended the stairs. He could hear Namjoon's snoring through the bedroom door and assumed all was well, but the light from your bedroom poured into the hall still. Within your room, he found your figure hunched on the floor, draped in soft lilac while multicolored mounds of fabric lay beside you.
"Y/N?" He asked and you turned your head over your shoulder just long enough for him to see your red puffy face. "What happened? What's wrong?"
But you only hid your face from him, and he knew that whatever was wrong with you was beyond him. So he went to get Hoseok.
The omega nearly jumped out of the nest when Jungkook grabbed his foot, but he didn't want to have to go over the other packmates to get to Hoseok in the very center.
"What's the matter with you?" Hobi hissed when he recognized the person who intruded in his sleep was only Jungkook.
"Sorry. I'm sorry, but there's something wrong with Y/N. I think she needs your help," Jungkook whispered back.
"What's wrong?" Yoongi asked, his concern not disguised by the sleepiness in his voice.
"I'm not sure. She was crying."
There was suddenly a lot of movement around the room as several packmates got up from the bed and tried to locate a decent amount of clothing. Hoseok led the way, but Yoongi wasn't far behind. Jungkook and Tae lingered closer to the door while the omega crouched down beside you and gently tugged the blanket down from your head.
"What's the matter, pup? What happened to your nest?"
"Bad nest," you muttered, turning your face away from him.
"No, sweetheart. I'm sure it was a fine nest. Would you like me to help you fix it?" He stroked softly down the back of your head to soothe you.
You shook your head vehemently. "No point. Nesting is bad. No one wants my stinking nest."
Hoseok felt his heart breaking at those words, so hideously wrong. "That's not true. You need a nest. It's very good. I'm sure your alpha–"
"Alpha hates it. Took one look and walked away," you muttered.
Hoseok looked over his shoulder at your alpha, who appeared stunned. "That's not true. I didn't–I…" Yoongi took a step further into the room, but Hobi held up a hand to stop him. He sat fully on the floor and pulled you against him.
"Sweetheart, I'm sure he doesn't hate it. He would never. Did you ask him if he would like to come into your nest?" He wondered.
You scrunched up your face. "No."
"Ah," Hobi replied, understanding where you had gotten mixed up. "Then you see, he didn't reject it. You have a very good alpha. He has good manners. A good alpha knows they have to be invited into an omega's nest, at least the first time. I'm sure Yoongi would have loved to get in your sweet little nest, but you'll have to ask," he explained gently.
You looked over your shoulder at the man in question. "Do you want to sleep in my nest?" You asked abruptly.
"O–"
Hoseok redirected your attention with a hand on your cheek so you looked him in the eyes. "Not tonight, little one."
"But–"
"Shh," he soothed you while he wiped your cheeks. "He will say yes, anytime you ask. Don't worry. But I think I should teach you about nests from scratch. You don't know anything, right?" You shook your head shamefully, but he smiled at you. "I'll teach you everything I know about making nests and you'll be a pro. I promise. How is that?"
"Okay," you breathed tiredly. "You'll make me a good omega?"
"I think you'll be the best. Even better than me," he cooed.
"Nooo," you pouted, looking particularly puppish.
"Yes, you will. Look at you. So small and cute. You'll be so good. You just need to learn a few things."
"I'm kinda dumb," you whispered, and if you were a little quieter you might have heard the hearts around you break.
Hobi shook his head. "Not at all. You've been taught too many wrong things, but that isn't your fault. You'll unlearn them soon, and everything will be okay," he promised as he wiped away the last tears.
"Y/N, I'm so sorry," Yoongi stepped forward to apologize. You couldn't see just how much his heart was in your hands, but you looked from him to Hoseok, who shook his head slightly.
"It's okay, Yoongi. It wasn't your fault," you murmured.
"It wasn't yours, either," he frowned. "Can I at least give you a hug?"
This time when you looked at him, Hoseok nodded, and you rose to your feet, bones cracking after sitting crouched for so long. You shuffled closer to him, your safety blanket dragging the floor behind you. You were so cute it was almost enough to heal the hurt inside of him. He closed the distance and pulled you into his chest. You wrapped your arms tightly around him and nuzzled into his warmth.
"Remember to tell me when I upset you," he whispered after inhaling from the top of your head. You weren't as sweet as you had been earlier and he had half a mind to drag Jimin half asleep from the other room to make you so again.
"I'm sorry," you answered, realizing you hadn't done one of the few things he had asked of you. "Can we talk about it tomorrow?" You asked sleepily.
He kissed your forehead. "Of course, princess. You need to sleep. It's late. We'll fix it all tomorrow."
You nodded and he let you go, wandering back to Hoseok. The omega had been placing the nesting materials you had used before back in your bed, arranging and fluffing each one carefully.
"I thought it would be easier if I did it for you one last time, since you must be exhausted," he said after everyone left the room.
"I always sleep better in yours anyway."
"Have you ever slept in one of your own?"
You shrugged. "A couple times. I used to try. Before, with my old pack, but they didn't like it when I nested, so I stopped."
He fluffed the last blanket just right and gestured with his hand for you to get in. You settled yourself in the middle and let him tuck your blanket in around you.
"Can I tell you a secret about nests?" Hoseok asked. You nodded eagerly, if tiredly. "Nests don't really matter to alphas." He smiled when you cocked your head in confusion. "They'll sleep in them…most of the time. But what alphas like is sleeping with omegas, they don't really care where. Nests are for omegas. It's about you feeling safe, not them. You're going to learn to make them for yourself, and when you've got it just how you want it, then you ask your alpha in."
"What if I don't feel safe? What if I can't get it right?" You yawned.
"You will," he assured you. "And when you do, Yoongi will get in without hesitation."
Hoseok stayed on the edge of the bed until you fell asleep, which didn't take more than a few minutes, and then he went back to his own nest. His alphas would get grumpy if he wasn't there all night, and he needed sleep, too.
"Is she okay?" Yoongi asked as Hoseok shuffled back into his spot between Tae and Jin, except now it was Tae and Jungkook.
"She's sleeping," Hobi answered. "It's a good thing you came to get me," he said to Jungkook.
The beta cuddled closer. "It seemed like an omega problem."
Hobi hummed.
"I really was trying to do the right thing, Hobi. I didn't know that I'd hurt her," you said, his voice thick with emotion.
"I know, Yoon. You didn't do anything wrong."
"I told you, hyung," Jimin mumbled, his head on Yoongi's chest.
"Told me what?"
"You gotta push her boundaries a little more than you would because she doesn't see them."
Yoongi's silence was curious, but he said nothing.
"He's right, Yoongi. She doesn't know any of the rules. It's good for you to be respectful and easy with her, but she can't appreciate it if she doesn't know why. She's kind of like a child, or maybe that's how we need to approach it. She's really like a pup who needs to be taught the right ways. There's so much to undo, but we can do it."
"Do you think we can make her happy?" Yoongi asked, and Jimin cuddled closer to comfort him.
"Of course we can. She was happy earlier. We'll just teach her how to do that too," he mumbled before drifting back to sleep.
You woke up early the next morning, before Jin, Namjoon and Jimin had left for work, and you helped Hobi make breakfast and lunches for them to take. You let Jimin get you smiley and sweet–not as much as the night before—before he demanded a scent mark to send him off "so everyone will know I have a sweet new omega."
Not long after, Yoongi came down to the kitchen for his first cup of coffee looking like he hadn't slept too much after you'd woken them up last night. You told him to sit at the table, to let you get his coffee for him, and seeing your eagerness to care for him, he couldn't refuse. He just couldn't pass up the opportunity to watch as you moved around the kitchen that you were still getting used to.
"Will you come sit with me?" He asked when you set a mug of steaming coffee in front of him.
"I'll make you breakfast," you offered instead.
"In a minute," he argued and reached for your hand, which you gave him. You moved to sit in the chair beside him, but he pulled you to sit on his lap instead. "Can you sit here?" You nodded meekly, unable to meet his eyes as your cheeks heated. He sighed. "Jimin thinks I need to push your boundaries a little, the way he does." He dropped your hand, so it was clear you could get up if you wanted to. "But I don't want to act like that. I won't force closeness on you that you don't want, and that's why I didn't get in your nest when you didn't ask."
You turned in to face him and looked into his sincere eyes. "I know that now. I'm sorry for getting so upset. The truth is, I expected you to reject my nest, like the others did. My past alphas, they never wanted me to nest. They said it made me lazy and dirty. They would tear up my nests if I chose to sleep there instead of with them, and so I stopped trying. It's never been…easy or safe for me. I wanted to make a really nice nest for you, but Hobi said it's best if I learn to make them for myself before I let you in. Is that okay?"
Yoongi smiled, and tucked your hair behind your ear. "Hobi knows best when it comes to omegas, but I will wait as long as you want or need. I just want you to feel safe and happy. I hate that you were treated that way in the past, but I appreciate you telling me. You can rest assured that the moment you ask, whenever that is, I'll be there."
You smiled back at him cheerfully. "And I like the way Jimin treats me. He's right. I can use a little pushing. I liked what he did last night. I didn't know that was a thing I could have and I wouldn't have been able to ask for it. I don't know what's normal, Yoongi. I have all these–"
You stopped yourself abruptly, but that only made him curious. He wrapped an arm around your waist and held you securely. "All these what?"
You swallowed and looked into the narrow space between your bodies. His warmth radiated around you with a light orange blossom scent, like he was trying to soothe you on purpose.
"I'm not crazy. I just–" you hesitated and he chuckled lightly, but waited patiently. "It's not like I'm hearing voices. I just hear…it's like people from my past, talking to me, telling me that things are right or wrong, but they're always against me. They tell me nesting is bad, they tell me not to trust you, they tell me I'll get hurt if I'm part of a pack. It's like they're trying to protect me and I've listened to them for so long. But now I don't think I trust them anymore. But they're still there."
Yoongi looked thoughtful for a moment. "Did they tell you to leave before?" You nodded. "What are they telling you now?"
"Nothing. They get quieter when I'm talking to you," you admitted.
His grip on you tightened the tiniest bit. "Then it's a good thing I'm here. Whenever you hear them, you can ask someone and we'll let you know if it's right or wrong. You don't have to figure it out alone anymore."
"Okay," you agreed softly. Unexpectedly, Yoongi pulled you tighter against him in a hug. After a moment of shock, you let your arms wrap around his shoulders and rubbed your cheek against his neck. "Do you still want breakfast?" You asked after a minute.
"I think we have some time before I drive you to work," he murmured into your hair, but didn't loosen his grip for you to move away.
"Are you going to pick me up too?" You asked with a smile.
He sighed and pulled back. "I have to work. It's a long shift. I won't be home until morning. Would it be alright if Taehyung and Hobi pick you up?"
You tried not to pout your lips and nodded. "I'll make you some food for later in your shift, too," you told him before getting up to do just that.
It was probably a good thing he wouldn't be home tonight, you decided after some consideration. It would give you lots of time and freedom to work with Hobi on your nesting without the temptation of having Yoongi in your nest, since it wouldn't be a possibility anyway.
You didn't know what you were expecting, but it wasn't Tae and Hobi pulling up in front of the library in a minivan.
"Sorry we're late!" Tae called out the rolled down window.
"Have you been waiting very long?" Hobi asked, clearly worried.
You shrugged as you approached and the door to the back slid open on its own. It was only like five minutes, but you would be lying if you said you hadn't spent most of that time wondering if they were going to leave you there. "It's fine."
Once you were in your seat and buckled in, Taehyung turned around to look at you seriously, pulling down his sunglasses so you could see his eyes. "Hey, Y/Nie."
"Hi, Tae," you responded, feeling flustered. You hadn't received such focused attention from him since the first time you met and it made your palms sweat and your heart beat fast.
"Can you do me a favor?" He asked.
"I can try."
"It's nothing just…don't tell Yoongi we were late? It's just that neither Hobi or I have ever been to this library and we got a little lost. We didn't mean to worry you."
You sighed in relief and smiled. "There's nothing to tell," you agreed.
"So, Y/N, how are you?" Hobi asked, turning to look at you as Tae put the car in drive. "You look tired. No offense."
"None taken. I'm exhausted actually," you admitted.
"I can't imagine. You couldn't pay me enough to get a job," he groaned.
"House work is…well, work. I'm cleaning all day too, it's just somewhere else."
"Yeah, but I can stop and take a nap whenever I want. And all the scents. Honestly, never mind all the strange alphas and betas, I just think saps smell so off. I couldn't be around it all day."
You frowned as you considered it. "I guess I've never really thought about it. I kind of learned to tune it out. Like, sense of smell is one of the things we have since we're young right? And it sets us apart from saps, so like, when I figured out that it wasn't normal, I learned to shut the hell up about it, yknow? And I guess I'm just so used to being around saps that I don't notice it as much."
Hoseok turned around again to look at you. "Y/N?"
"Yeah?" You'd gotten a little lost in your train of thought but he pulled you back.
"There's nothing abnormal about our sense of smell."
You stared at him innocently, slowly blinking. "Right."
"I know you were raised with them, and they probably taught you that you were different, but it goes both ways. To us, they're different," Hoseok told you pointedly.
"Yeah. That makes sense." You felt tears warm your eyes, so you looked down at your knees. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to…"
Hobi reached a hand out to touch yours while you picked nervously at your fingers. "Hey, it's alright. I'm gonna teach you everything you need to know. It's a clean slate, Y/N. From now on, you're one of us."
But what if I'm no good at being one of you?
"Anyway, it's good that you're tired. The nesting will come more naturally that way," he said after turning to the front.
"The nests I've been making for you have been meant for emotional comfort, because you needed that," Hobi explained as you stood in your bedroom. "It's okay if you want to keep sleeping that way. But if you want to get more comfortable and confident and eventually let Yoongi and Jimin sleep with you, you'll have to figure out how you want your nest on a day-to-day basis. Personally, I'm all about textures and scents, but you might find other things comforting."
You stared blankly at the bare mattress like a blank canvas before you. "Then where do I start?"
Hobi thought about it. He'd never actually taught someone to nest before. He couldn't say anyone had actually taught him, step-by-step. He'd just picked things up from the nests he had as a child and his own experimentation and then tried new things as his nest always seemed to expand for new packmates. "Well, I like to have a nice thick blanket or a comforter as a base. It gives you something to sort of…I don't know, wiggle into? But a future tip: Jimin is a furnace so it's best to avoid fleece when he's around, unless you want to be drenched in sweat."
"Mmm…won't you miss them in your nest, if they come over to mine?" You pondered shyly.
Hobi patted your head. "Believe me, I have plenty of boys to keep me warm at night." He went into the chest at the foot of your bed and brought out a light blue comforter. "Here, give this a try."
You laid it over the bed and looked to Hobi for what's next.
"This might be a personal preference, I don't really know, but this would be when I build a perimeter. The perimeter determines how big your nest is. It doesn't have to be defined, necessarily. You can just say, 'this whole bed is my nest, and that's the end of it.' But I think that's kind of the part that's most important to alphas if they're sleeping in the nest. They need to know what's inside and outside the nest and who can and can't pass through. Especially during heats and ruts. Even during your heat, Yoongi might get antsy about the security of your nest."
You blushed at the idea.
Would Yoongi be coming into the nest by my next heat?
It could happen anytime, since he made you go off the pills.
They're bad for me.
"Y/N?"
"Uh, sorry. What would make a good perimeter?" You pushed your voices aside to focus.
"Anything you want. I usually do bunched up blankets and things that have been scented by the boys, including clothes, especially if Jungkook or Yoongi is going to be out when we go to bed."
You twisted up a thinner blanket and arranged it near the edge of the bed, but Hobi could see your uncertainty. "Here's how I do it," he offered, and showed you his technique.
"Why don't you get in and see how it feels?" He said after you had set your perimeter. You climbed into the middle and laid on your back, looking up at the popcorn ceiling. "How does it feel?"
You shouldn't be doing this.
"Fine."
"Pup, there's no point in being vague or dishonest. It's your nest, not mine. Make it for your comfort. Take a minute and think about how it feels," he instructed.
Empty.
"It feels empty," you sighed.
Hoseok nodded. "You can pull in the perimeter, and it probably won't feel so empty if someone else is with you. But honestly…"
"What?" You wondered when he hesitated.
"I think you might just be a pillow girl," he shrugged.
"A what?"
"A pillow girl. I think you might just need lots of things to cuddle with. Lucky for you your tiny pack is very into that, but in the meantime, you need pillows."
"Tiny pack?" You questioned with a lifted brow.
"Yeah. The three of you," he brought his thumb and forefinger close together. "Tiny."
"I mean, yeah I know I am, but they aren't," you defended.
Hobi looked at you adoringly. "Sure, pup. You sit tight. I'm going to get some pillows." He rushed out of the room. You stayed in the nest and listened to his footsteps rush down the stairs and around the house. Eventually he came back and dumped several pillows on you.
"Sorry, I know they smell like the pack. But just test them out and if the feel is right we can wash them."
You felt the fabric under your fingertips and puffed up one of the pillows. "I don't want to take all your pillows."
He waved his hand at you. "Most of these are from the couches downstairs. Oh! Wait!"
He left again and you began arranging the pillows around you in an oval shape. Ones that smelled more like Yoongi, Jimin or Hoseok you put toward your head, while the others you put toward your feet. You already felt more comforted by them, less empty. You were about to start snuggling into them when Hobi returned.
"Here," he said, holding out two pillows. "They're Jimin and Yoongi's."
"But they need pillows."
"Give me yours and I'll replace them."
You frowned. "But then my scent will be in your nest…"
Hobi smiled. "Duh."
Your cheeks heated as you took the pillows and exchanged them for yours. He took them and hugged them to his chest as he watched you settle in. You wiggled around a bit, fluffing pillows and adjusting them just right. It didn't take long for Hobi to see that it was working. You made small rumbly noises and little chirps as you got everything perfect for you. Pretty soon it seemed you had forgotten he was there entirely as you rubbed your face into Yoongi's pillow and relaxed against the nest.
"That's a good lil pup. I'll make sure to tell your alpha you need pillows, not blankets. Rest for a little while," he said softly, not really wanting to disturb your peace. You smiled at him hazily before he left the room, and in minutes you fell asleep.
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