Da Capo - Part 4

Da Capo - part 4

Part 1 , 2 & 3

A capriccio or caprice (in Italian, capricci), is a piece of music, usually fairly free in form and of a lively character.

There was a weird itching or irk in a way as Harry longingly stared at his ceiling. The sound of the minute hand and second hand moving inside the glass of the watch was so incredible loud yet so unimaginably silent, you could only hear it if you wanted to, was harry trying to, perhaps. He was maybe waiting for the clock to strike 2 am just so he knew he could let go in the night. There's always been something so mystical or obscure or indefinite about the night that makes you raw, dangerous, vulnerable and maybe that's why harry was always afraid of the night, not the dark but the time where it comes to peel of your snake skin and show to the whole damn world who you are, who you have become, who you changed into. Harry might've loved the danger but this night, sleep didn't come to him, he was too busy thinking about the drenching in the rain and the river bank side, everything about it was turning into spontaneous reel ready to be put on for the show yet the reel was empty. The emptiness was Maybe because of the lack of the pretentious wall where there was nothing left to hide or maybe it were the emotions Harry had managed to conceal so well or buried underneath his skin so well that nobody but him knew what they were.

The clock stroke 2 am and the moving of the fan blades only offered so much distraction and harry got out of his own pretty bed with white cotton sheets and drank some water standing on the kitchen counter watching the phone with piercing gaze.

He stared at it long enough that impatiently without another thought after 10 minutes picked up the dialler, almost dialled the number, then stooped and went to bed, scurrying under his sheets and sleeping away the night.

But what happened the next morning was completely unexpected. Harry had just gotten out of his boring cubicle, losing jade in the crowd and ultimately landed up with some work to pair up the mannequin in a new fashionable way and harry was almost set into doing it when he heard the knock on the glass window he was working inside to design. Harry frowned as soon as his eyes landed on Draco standing there in a cute little Typical Paris beret and white oversized shirt with washed jeans. He wore those often.

Harry immediately went outside the building to meet Draco..

" how- how did you know I work here ?" Harry asked

" I didn't actually. I was passing by and I saw you and I thought I'd stop by and say hi " Draco replied tipping off on his toes then going back to standing on heels.

Harry pressed his lips in a thin line before replying " hi "

Draco grinned, bowing his head a little, then saying " hi "

They awkwardly stood there in silence hoping at least one of them would say something but fate maybe had others plans and jade interrupted.

" harry, June wants those new designs- and who might this gentlemen be ?" Jade asked smiling, offering her hand forward for a firm handshake with Draco.

" jade that's Draco, Draco that's jade. We work together, pretty much among the only few people I know around here " harry introduced them in the most awkward way possible and as if jade had sensed the awkwardness she spoke up.

"oh hey we're throwing a going away party for my roomate Tonight, why don't you come ?" She asked Draco.

" I- I'd-"

" we insist " harry urged

" I was about to say I will but now I think I really will have to despite the lie in my I will was I'd try " Draco tried to joke, failed miserably and then everything turned awkward once again.

" uh- I'm gonna go and get back to my work. You come to the party and harry, please be inside in five minutes " and she tipped back inside the building leaving them alone.

"so " harry whistled.

"So I guess I'll see you at the party, then " Draco " he perked his lips into a little pout before he turned a little so he could walk ahead anytime.

" uh Draco, not be to be awkward but you'd have to stop by my place Before you to the party " harry raised his eyebrows expectedly.

" why's that ?" Draco asked thoroughly confused.

" you- you don't know where she lives and I do therefore if you're going to the party I'd have to drop you off so that should explain why you'd need to stop by " harry bit the inside of his little Just a little in total subconsciousness waiting for Draco to Reply anytime soon.

Draco rubbed the back of his neck in embarrassment chuckling in Little soft sounds before he nodded " I'd stop by. 8 works ?"

" I'll see you then " for some reason harry did the finger guns which Draco awkwardly stared at then practically huried inside leaving Draco just there.

" you're hopeless " jade smirked.

" thank you for telling me what I already knew " Harry gave her a moment smile then morphed his face into a serious one and getting back to work.

____________________

Harry was in the process of wearing his shirt when the door was repeatedly knocked on that he had to practically run for the door holding onto his shirt for dear life.

" thank you for that. Why couldn't you had just done this after the dog had eaten me alive " Draco shivered as he hurried inside once harry had let him in.

Harry chuckled shutting the door behind him then clothing his shirt buttons off and only then turned to Draco.

" that was mrs. Pierre's dog. Kind of a mix. He's really sweet once you get comfortable with him "

" with a face like that, Merlin I'm fine with pocket dogs " Draco rolled his eyes then sitting down on the sofa waiting for Harry to finish dressing up.

" you mean the actual pocket dog or the pomeranian ?" Harry asked leaning down to wear his shoes whilst sitting on a chair.

" there's an Actual pocket dog ?" Draco asked almost amused

" yeah " harry nodded then tying his shoe laces. Draco only nodded in pure amusement but didn't remain on the topic any longer.

" ready to go ?" Harry asked 5 minutes after having checked for everything being intact in the apartment.

" as ever " Draco nodded getting up, with a small bouquet in his hand.

" whats the bouquet for ?" Harry asked with an amusing smile grazed across his face.

" ah- well it's a going away party and I just thought- well- should I discard this ? I didn't know what else to do or bring ?" Draco hopelessly asked looking at his bouquet as if he was finding some flaw to just leave it behind..

" I'm kidding- just teasing. She'd love that actually.. a huge botany fan really " harry chuckled softly then without wasting time led both of them outside.

They walked for almost about 7 minutes until they finally reached the destination and approached the rooftop as adviced before and mingled into the little party.

It was a fun, secluded, good good-bye party in every since if Draco didn't absolutely wanted to rip off the bouquet he bought into shreds..

" would you stop with that staring? It's not gonna kill me " harry laughed lightly then drinking a bit more of his water.

" you said she was a botany fan " Draco glared at harry

" well- I bluffed like they do while playing cards " harry shrugged with a frown, putting his glass on the table.

" I hate you for this. Now everyone thinks I'm the weird guy with flowers " Draco rolled his eyes.

" who cares what they think, I'd be glad if someone bought me flowers in a party. Shows you care " harry bobbed his head in a single nod as if trying to emphasise that it was a naturally good deed.

Draco rolled his eyes at harry again, setting the bouquet down on the chair and finally mingling into the party night.

They must've been pretty off or having a very boring conversation or maybe jade was just lonely that she joined them by the fence.

" Draco, right ?"

" yeah, jade " Draco nodded shaking hands with her again..

" harry told me about you actually. That little touring around Paris. Harry have an odd way of seeing things " jade pointed at harry who just shrugged it off, he didn't mind seeing things differently.

" that is true but I'm not complaining. I loved the night, couldn't have been better " Draco smiled and harry allowed himself only for a moment if it were only a moment to just openly stare at draco and admire whatever he'd missed upon ever since his arrival. He allowed himself to drown again in the reminiscent of all he had moved on from but for this one little moment, he allowed himself to be sat on a boat that took him back to where it all started, just with simplicity.

" I assume you won't be here for long, when do you leave for home then ?" Harry had heard jade asked and it only hit him then that draco wasn't going to stay forever, he was going to leave at some point and it unconsciously made his heart clench that he didn't know could happen.

" actually in 2 more days "

" you're leaving on Monday ?" Harry asked without acknowledging that jade had opened her Mouth to say something but had immediately shut it down upon realising she no longer could say anything else.

" oh, yes. I leave on Monday " Draco smiled at harry.

Harry chose to drink instead.

Later that night when they had been walking back to Harry's place in the dead of the night, harry had allowed his wonderment to finally approach his lips and let the words slip before he could've wanted to stop them, but that was the irrational part of him and he said it even if he didn't.

" you didn't tell me you were leaving so soon "

" you never asked " Draco smiled.

The wind howled between them in a soft breeze and the leaves on the ground crunched as Harry nodded repeatedly walking down the pavement..

" you don't mind it, do you ?" Draco asked finally.

" oh no, you were bound to leave sometime. I just never asked. My fault " harry replied with a thin smile then took a sharp right to his place.

" but I should've told you " Draco added..

Yes, he should've so harry could've prepared himself more, prepared himself better but then again maybe he was too good of an actor to let it effect him at all anyways anymore.

" your can't possibly cover all of Paris in 2 days " harry said after a while.

" I couldn't even if I wanted to. Paris is not just a one day place, it's more than just that " Draco nodded.

Harry pushed his back back softly, running his hand through his hair as his shirt filled inside with air and he let himself wonder again of the time when he had first came to paris on a simple trip but the city has made him stay.

" it is more than just that " harry nodded too.

" you didn't see the special notre dame or the trocadero or the arc De Triomphe or the cruise. Pity " harry clicked his tounge as he watched ahead of the road finding it hard to believe that time had flown soo fast.

" but it's not like I saw nothing. I saw the top of the Eiffel tower, the carousel, dipped my feets in the water, the love lock brigde. For all I care, it's better than sitting on a cruise with a bunch of posh people who discuss golf or people who would constantly come up and say can you click a picture of us "

Harry laughed softly shaking his head " that was a terrible french accent "

" gosh I knew " Draco vigorously single bobbed his head for a damned emphasis but upon watching harry laugh louder little by little, he let himself laugh too at his own absurdity.

It didn't matter who stared at them or how many people they woke up with their obnoxious loud laughter,all they cared about was this moment. This one moment which ever In history could have been a turning point if harry had not just simply admired Draco at the moment or decided to secretly store away the sound of Draco Laughing, if he had only done something but like every poet, Harry has taken away pieces of Draco and stored it into his bleeding heart hoping that one day when he'd press the paper to his heart, it'd get blotched and would leave a remarkable print that even van Gogh could not have painted because it was Only his own. Like every poet, he'd scream in this poetry one day, he'd bleed in it like the rupturing veins of how he didn't peel off his snake skin that night.

" I wish I could stay forever " Draco said after a while in a patient sigh as he stopped over the bridge over the river to get to Harry's place just to admire everything around them in one more moment. Harry admired too in that one more moment where he watched Draco admiring, he let his quill dip into his vein for ink and he wrote,

He wishes too, he wishes too.

I think safe to say that the last two chapters had turned out pretty shorter than the first one's. Anywho.

Da Capo

Dialogue Prompt 16- " because I love you, is that what you wanted to hear " requested by @sunflowerishdolphin ( your last remaining request ) | TW- NONE |

Da Capo-(Italian: from the beginning); at the end of a piece of music or a section of it, means that it should be played or sung again from the beginning.

He shut the door behind him, locking immediately, putting those grocery bags on the counter and turned on the voice Machine , picking up the mails from the corner table reading who addressed them as he simultaneously heard the voice messages like his usual evening, a routine that had became a practice.

" you have 2 new messages "

" hey harry, this is Clint. Send me those pictures via e-mail, could you ? Call me when you get back "

Harry subconsciously nodded as he read the next mail addressed from the burrow.

" harry "

He stopped dead in his movements as he stared at the tiles on the floor, hearing that very familiar voice.

" I- I know I should not- you know- never mind. Uh, call me or not, whatever. Just- how do you end this-" the voice message echoed with rustling until it ended with a beep and harry couldn't bring himself to stop the beeping.

When one of the apple fell down over the ground creating a thud, harry broke free from his locked moment of strangeness and shut off the beep. He stared at the number long enough to remember his past, the horrors, the pain, the anguish, the agony of it all but he couldn't resist himself from Noting down the number on the notepad and just staring at it.

He had called, 1 year and 6 months later, he had called.

Harry left the notepad like it had been resting on the counter and went out to the garden to water his plants and get some peace from the quick Sand of the emotions that had started overwhelming in the presence of the noted down number. But it didn't help the rail of his thoughts that resulted in overflowing of the pots.

The evening had turned into a chilly night yet without a care he kept staring at the TV screen blankly, finding it hard to forget that voice message. That familiarity in the voice had almost Haunted harry every night in dreams and that un-advanced way of not knowing still how to end a voice message made harry smile if only for a moment but he was strongly reminded of how had things ended, in fights, In rush, in sadness, in heart break.

He wanted to call back and ask him why had he called, he even stood before the phone, dialing almost the entire number but could never gather the entire courage to actually call him back. How could he ? After everything that had happened, how could he?

It had been almost 1 and half year since harry moved to a small town in Paris living in a muggle suburb and still learning French but he had sat in his balcony drowning in rain, yet he never felt at home. He never wanted to leave Britain, London but what choice did he had but to leave everything behind and start new, a fresh start and yet all he felt was moving backwards. He loved it here, the neighborhood, the children on the streets, the grocery man, Adrian's little shop around the corner yet the smell of the Rain, the smell of laundry, the Blooming garden, the sunlight, nothing felt the same, not like how it was when he was with him. Nothing ever felt the same anymore .

Somewhere around blankly staring at the TV, the screen had Turned grey with no more left to watch when harry forcibly picked himself up and put himself to bed, relentlessly tossing and turning until sleep had returned to him like previous night's.

You can't stop thinking about me .

That's not true.

Do you really think so? Then why am I here ?

You tell me.

He sighed, his voice flourishing and sounding like the softest of breeze, you can feel it too, can't you, you know I will be there with you..

I can't feel anything. A pause.

You're coming?

Do you want me to ?

Harry tossed one last time, slowly opening his eyes in the silence of the night and the street light outside flickering with yellow and black. He sighed to himself as he sat right up and followed the line of sight to where the phone was kept.

" hi, draco, hi- uh, you called. I- didn't know about it- just got your message- I wanted to check what you called for so leave me a message or call me in the mor-"

" harry?"

Harry stilled with the phone pressed against his ear, his breathing sounding very clear like he had held the phone very close to himself as if holding it too close would make the conversation more real.

He stared at his feets on the ground comprehending how to respond, he had not expected draco to pick up-

" harry, you there ?"

" yeah, yeah. Uh sorry- I just- " he breathed " isn't it late ?"

" sort of yeah. I just- I came from a run "

" this late at night ?"

" yeah " he breathed.

Harry breathed.

" you called earlier ?"

" yeah " a long pause before he released a rolling breath and spoke again " I'm visiting Paris and I- I know you're there, so I was just wondering if you'd like to meet sometime if you're free of course ?"

Harry's fingers coiled to the telephone loop, a little smile forming over his lips as he whispered " Sure. When ?"

" this weekend "

" I'll pick you up ?"

" that'd be- nice " he breathed.

" okay "

" okay "

They breathed.

" I'll send the details via mail " he added

" okay "

And they finally cut the call but all harry did was stare at his feets on the ground crossed together as if it offered any peace.

_______________________________

The sun had rose like usual with the birds chirping just outside Harry's balcony, the usual ringing of his alarm clock went unnoticed as harry stepped out of the long shower. He padded across the room water dripping down his neck due to his washed hair, finally shutting off the Alarm. He stared at the watch as minutes stroke by, his mind lost in the moving of the minute hands until a shiver has ran down his spine and he dropped the clock on the bed and fetched the shirt and the pants he has decided to worn a day before. The same blue flowy shirt and the same Khaki pants.

Anxiety was not a surprise visitor anymore as harry fidgeted wearing his watch over his rest and tying his shoe laces that at some point, harry left them be thinking that if he'd fall, he'd fall. He ran all around the apartment going from one room to another to living room because his things were scattered all across until finally the clock stroke 12 and harry left the apartment in his second hand ford from 1985.

Harry leaned against his car in front of the France ministry of magic building waiting for draco to come with sun bouncing over his soft brunette hair, checking his watch every minute or two.

And there he was, the same boy walking through the door carrying 2 bags in a soft cotton red faded shirt and washed blue jeans.

" waited for long ?"he asked awkwardly.

Harry shook his head as he took his bags and dropped them in back seat.

" I- harry- I just wanted to ask something "

Harry frowned but nodded as he opened the car door for draco.

" this isn't awkward, is it ?"

Harry huffed out a breath, glancing behind draco for a moment. Was it awkward,of course but he Wanted to settle through the awkwardness and not be like one of those people who can't visit their ex.

" it is a bit but we'll settle in. After all we're friends, right ?"

Draco chuckled softly before he nodded " we can be "

Harry smiled before he stepped away and let draco take the passenger seat and settled into his driver's seat as well.

" Hungry ?" Harry asked as the ignition roared.

Draco nodded " very "

" I know just the place " harry smiled putting on his sunglasses and drove to exactly where he needed to.

________________________________

Things remained a bit awkward with draco as harry adjusted to all new information and forgot thinking of draco as an ex he scrambled away from and reminded himself more to treat him like the way he used to before the relationship happened.

But despite that the wicked angels that remained on Harry's shoulder reminded him to be careful this time and even if he harry heard them, he ignored as he served draco the croissant he has freshly picked up from the bakery around the corner.

" what about the eiffel tower ?" Draco asked as he sipped his lemon tea, taking the plate of croissant away from harry.

" it's overrated but worth it. It's better in the evening, I'll take you there " harry replied as he ate his own.

" oh shit- I forgot. I had to be at work 15 minutes ago. I'll see you later yeah " draco hurried with his baked food and picked up his bag he has came with and disapparated from within the apartment.

Harry collapsed down on the chair thinking to himself what was he doing. How could he just forget everything and move on and pretend like nothing happened like he had been doing for days. He hated the pretending, the " I'm doing fine without you " act or we're better as friends act, he hated it but as draco would come from the hotel every afternoon and sometimes stay by till the evening, harry would allow himself to relish in those moments and let be.

"the real question is do you really want to be friends or not ?" Jade asks as she dressed the mannequin with new shirt introduced in this work fashion line.

" i- i don't know jade. Do I want to forget everything and move forward, yes but I can't just look at him pretend we don't have a past " harry kicked the ground as he was leaned against the wall in the cubicle with jade and the white mannequin for display.

" Harry, the past is the past. It doesn't matter anymore. And you know the whole thing about ex's can't be friends,it's shit, I'm friends with my first boyfriend " jade replied with the pin between her lips as he tucked the buttons together.

" your first boyfriend is gay now. You're not helping jade-"

" look harry. Is it worth it ? Is it worth spending time with him? Is it worth meeting him again everyday ? Is it worth being friends with him again ? Those are the real questions " She asked with her head titled for emphasis, her hands in the air waiting for his response.

Harry sighed closing his eyes, opening them again and spoke " I think. He's changed a lot and he's different now"

" well there you go and you know what, even if you don't want to be friends or anything, he's just visiting. He's not going to stay here forever you know and you barely visit home, so friends or no friends, it won't matter much" jade shrugged as she put the mannequin the hat and stretched her neck backwards to check the entire look before nodding to herself and stepping out of the cubicle, harry following him.

" I guess you're right " harry mumbled. Jade nodded and they departed to their response departments of work.

When the evening arrived he met draco Outside his work building and strolled off to where they could disapparate from without being noticed.

" it's a beautiful place " draco suddenly said as they were walking down the streets.

" it is " harry hummed nodding, pocketing his hand.

" don't you ever-" Breath " like miss home ? Everyone else?" He asked

Harry thought for a moment before he replied with all he could think of " it's a part of starting fresh. I miss people back home but I love it here too, everyone's nice "

" but doesn't it ever get lonely ?" Draco asked as he now walked right by Harry's side.

" sometimes but other times I just forget " harry shrugged looking forward before crossing the road.

" forget what ?" Draco asked as he ran to maintain his pace with harry.

" forget that I'm lonely. The best way to not get lonely is just not to think of being lonely " harry shrugged as he for a moment looked at Draco before he entered the dark Empty alley.

" is it easy ?" Draco asked as he stood before harry taking his hand for side along disapparation.

Harry gazed at draco, allowing the free sensation of holding his hand making him feel closer to home before he took a step forward towards draco.

" no "

And disapparated.

might turn into a series fiction. @drarrywords thanks for beta reading this..

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After the autumn part 2

Dialogue prompt 29 requested by @sunflowerishdolphin On request by anonymous and @onomtonks | TW- hurt Comfort | slow burn | mild Angst |

" would it ever stop hurting ?"

He had ruined himself, aged, wasted away in the hopes of finding the answer to it but with grace came failure, the inability to find a response. Spent his days staring at the empty side of the bed, he had wondered what would have happened if he never left but what to dwell upon what's lost right. Right ?

He remembered the day he met him again at the DMLE office and how he had refused to even meet the eyes, how ashamed was he ? Or how inconsiderate was he ? Or how forgetful was he, ignorant too maybe. When he refused to meet the eyes, harry didn't either, it was a childish payback he wanted him to pay the debt of.

But left the log in the burning fire, the feeling of hollowness had refused to fill since the night he left and now seeing him around the workplace it dug a little deeper and nothing worked with the heart clenching but the well act of pretend, of concealment he had mastered at.

Months progressed in denial to meet his eyes, talk to him, to acknowledge him but when finally he talked with him again he feared he couldn't let a ritual come in being once again, he couldn't allow his heart to yearn for more after those little conversations he had when he smoked. He couldn't allow his heart to become what it had been 4 years ago. And he decided to force himself to stop, to stop going to the rooftop just to be in Draco's presence, just to see him but the look on Draco's face when he passed by the floor harry was smoking on by accident, he couldn't resist but feel guilty of having left Draco alone on the rooftop. But he was frozen to his spot, against the railing, even the cigarette on his lips was frozen, he couldn't stop Draco, he couldn't Explain him because he never went after him just like all of the times he didn't and all he thought of was what if he had, what if today he had, what if he had ran after Draco that night 4 years ago. What if ?

Harry soon realised it didn't matter because just like that night Draco didn't stay anymore, he didn't come by anymore, he didn't wait for Harry anymore and Maybe it was Harry's fault. And he would waste himself again, watching the smoke take more of his breath, his heart, his soul away. It was Metaphorical why Harry started smoking, irony infact maybe that if he smoked Maybe it'd stop hurting, the twinge in his heart would cease, that if he approached death more quickly then maybe it'd hurt less but 3 cigarettes a day or 20, he'd always fall asleep every night with only a thought of what if he had ran after him when he realised that draco was standing on the doorstep watching harry. He Never quite understood why didn't he ever stop Draco, why couldn't he had just not lied awake with hollowness caving in, why did he breathed in an empty bed when he heard the front door shut, why didn't he step off the bed, why didn't he never contacted Draco after that even when he was on speedial. Harry wished to find answers but never reached closer to finding the answer.

Or maybe it was an act again to ignore the plausible answer because he too like Draco had been Afraid of loving. What an irony it had been, one had stayed because he was afraid of love, other had left because he too was afraid of love. It was like one coin with only heads or just tails.

But as Autumn had advanced harry realised he had slowly started vanishing his act of ignorance, that he didn't wanted to ignore and watching Draco from a distance when draco had put on the act of ignorance became another habit. He watched as Draco's wardrobe filled more with maroon sweaters and brown and black boots with long black trench coats and the most frequently worn white sweater he vaguely remember he had seen somewhere. He couldn't keep his eyes off once he had seen him smile at the little dandelion Blooming at his window sill, it had been by mistake he had walked by his office when he had seen him smiling, touching smoothly the dandelion that bloomed at the oldest of times. Harry had stopped only for a moment as he retained in his memory the charm of his smile before he walked away smiling to himself. How could he resist him any longer ? How could he pretend that, that man still didn't make him yearn more ? How could he ? And just in those yearning, Harry found himself scheduling his days to pass by Draco at every possibility, like he knew Draco would walk through the main gates at 2:47 exactly everyday after his lunch and that he'd stop by the library and return the book just before he left for home and the time he came in and harry made sure he would pass by Draco, just so he knew he saw him.

But Maybe Draco had figured or maybe it was just usual loneliness that has casted him that draco found himself going on a single date with Calvin.

Harry didn't digest it well and realised that crossing by Draco in Teenage attempts would never fill the void of seeing him with another man and he smoked 5 cigarettes in a row very later than his usual time but just then the man in the long trench coat with White sweater had Walked in and halted in his steps when he saw Harry." I'm leaving anyways " harry gritted as he blew another breath of smoke with scrunched up face.

" it's alright " Draco whispered as he stood by the railing watching

Draco had glanced only once in amusement when he pointed out " that's your 6th cigarette. Everything alright ?"

Harry scoffed, smoking " I haven't known if anything had been alright in ages "

Draco didn't chose to reply. He didn't know what to reply.

Perhaps Harry had enough with himself, with Draco that he found himself questioning one thing he never thought he'd ever get a chance to ask " why'd you leave ?"

" what ?" Draco asked in confusion

" that night, why'd you leave ?" Harry asked again as he leaned against the railing watching Draco with a furrowed face.

Draco gulped, blinking " dwelling on past doesn't do one any good "

"I know but I'm curious, I want to know. Why'd you leave ?" Harry questioned.

Draco cleared his throat meeting Harry's eyes after long moments of hesitation " i don't know "

Harry rolled his eyes, scoffing and turning around to face the city " liar "

" you're lying because you know you were Afraid " harry spoke clenching his jaw.

Draco didn't speak, he didn't know how to or what to respond, he couldn't even if he wanted to.

" you know if there's someone I hate more than you, it's me " harry spoke after a long pause.

Draco frowned " why ?"

Harry sighed as he looked down putting out his cigarette against the wall " because that night when you left I stayed. I watched you walk away that night and when I should've left that night, I'm still stuck there. Because when I should've moved on, I didn't-Because I didn't stop you like I should have. Because the time have turned and I'm still locked up in that apartment with the memory, sense of you leaving. You left Draco, but I- I Never really left, I'm still there and I hate myself more Because I am still there when you're here "

Draco could only stare at harry as he felt himself at lost of words. If harry had watched him walk away that means he didn't try to stop him, that meant he accepted the fate of losing Draco, that meant he accepted Draco leaving him.

" I should hate you Draco, I should " Harry Turned to Draco in soft breaths " but I can't. I can't bring myself to hate you, ever"

Harry stared at Draco just like he was but none dared to speak another word. The thoughts that should've ran wild in their heads had deceased, stopped, frozen in their synapses. Their heads were empty but their hearts weren't, they both were beating with the same rhythm, same melody, same velocity but the chosen silence wasn't broken in the trance of gazing at each other.

" If I walk away today would you stop me ?" Draco was the first to speak up after having watched Harry long enough for the Blue sky to turn purple, just locked in the moment.

Harry shook his head " staying is your choice, as leaving is "

And this time Harry walked away, clutching his coat tighter to his body and the knot in his throat twisting. Maybe it wasn't Love but It could've been love if they had let it be, or Maybe it was love but it was never acknowledged but today nothing stopped Harry from walking away anymore even if it was love, how could he not, this time leaving was his choice.

But maybe it wasn't fair to him, to Draco, to Autumn, to spring, to April, to November, to this day because Draco showed up at Harry's office, raggedly breathing like he had been running 10 miles just to catch a train that was bound to leave just the next minute.

" staying is my choice, so is leaving but keeping me is yours. So Here I am, if you'll keep me because I want to keep you, even if you walk away "

Harry blinked as he dropped the file on the table and paced across the table, rapidly . He stared at Draco until his breathing came to normal and harry fought with his inner conscience, himself, before he leaned and wrapped his arms around Draco.

" I'll keep you "

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Hey darling, how are you doing ? I'm Only left with one last request of yours. hope you enjoy @sunflowerishdolphin

After the Autumn

Dialogue Prompt- 29. Love isn't supposed to hurt this badly | TW- ANGST | HURT COMFORT | EMOTIONAL ( I guess )

It was a defense mechanism, to shield himself from any upcoming events or actions that might Rip him apart or leave him fragile, to prevent the future heart breaks. It was all a wicked game; part of self preservation to not fall and not to feel bad when he got out of it. The thing was if he didn't protect his heart then he would have nothing of his own and he was afraid of loving. When growing up he was embedded that love leaves you hollow, you have the tendency to defy love ever in future, not necessarily of course but it plays a major role in not allowing yourself to love. He was taught and learnt that love was for weak hearted, for fragile and vulnerable people and not for someone like him but over the time it changed into he understood he didn't deserve love.

And so just like that he left the dark apartment that one late night after he had felt his heart rapidly beating causing a horrendous stampede in his chest, he left him, he abandoned him.

And he didn't return with only glance behind, a single flicker of hope burning until it extinguished.

But like all the dry, shredded trees that grows in forest becomes alive one day with just the little of sunshine after the Autumn, he met him again, 4 years later when he had subtly walked into work and was introduced to the newest member of the DMLE.

" Draco, meet harry potter, of course you must know him, all the rivarly I've heard of too " and the words had left him frozen.

Draco refused to look up from where he was looking at his desk because he never knew how to, how could he had looked up and watch the man he had abandoned in the apartment because he was Afraid he was falling in love with. He didn't dare but he heard in silence the Chuckles and stories told.

Robard might've stayed there for a few more minutes telling him about harry but all he could think of was the past, the horrors thay hurled within him with it but when they Walked out through his door, out into the hallway, draco finally lifted his gaze, harry didn't turn around to see him, he didn't.

Where had the months flown since harry joined, draco never really realised. Harry had became everyone's friend, a nice colleague, a good host and yet draco hadn't spoken one word, nor had harry and for some obscure reasons harry didn't try to initiate anything either, he didn't even try to acknowledge his presence or his absence as though he didn't care anymore but draco was bothered because he wanted harry to be angry with him, to yell at him, to give me stone hearted look, to look at him in anyway except as strangers.

He waited months for harry to snap until he assumed harry just didn't care enough to bother with draco anymore, even a little, who would but it hurt draco somewhere that harry was pretending that they didn't have a history or that harry had simply forgotten which draco was Afraid of because harry was the best he ever had, in everything.

" enjoying work ?" Draco finally initiated reluctantly while he was in the office library in the same aisle as him.

" I am, thank you" harry gave him a firm smile before he left the aisle and never returned. Draco sighed, hitting his head against the bookshelf.

And they didn't talk again and it was somehow leaving draco feeling hollow. He would see across the room and harry wouldn't even bothered to look at draco, not so much so even a glance at him or he didn't even try to talk or he didn't even try to hate him, it was like draco didn't mean anything to him and as much draco should've loved that, he didn't. He was left feeling upset, sad and Empty like harry was scooping his heart out and keeping it with himself. All draco could think of was unimaginable unrealistic scenario's that harry obliviated himself, all the memories with draco and it hurt more it should've.

But Draco would question " isn't this what he wanted ? For harry to forget him ?" But maybe he thought he wanted that but it hurt more everytime he'd look at harry he was reminded of the steps he took out of his apartments hoping that harry would realise draco wasn't in the bed and would run and stop him. But harry never did, even in his dreams, nor in nightmares.

And then as if with autumn came with a different aura harry had whispered something to draco when they were standing on the roof of the office building enjoying the soft breeze with Draco retaliating about his past.

"pardon ?" Draco frowned

" I asked, you want a cigarette ?" Harry repeat puffing out smoke from between his lips in The most elegant ways possible.

" I don't smoke, sorry " draco shrugged. Harry nodded frowning taking another drag then turning to draco, leaning against the railings.

" I didn't used to " harry said

" then why did you start ?" Draco asked.

Harry looked at him long enough as though he was conveying him an answer before he shrugged and took another drag.

" you don't talk much " it was a not a question, not an answer but a statement. Draco didn't talk much.

Draco gave him a little side smile before he stared ahead at the metropolitan city replying " I like the silence "

Harry nodded and he didn't speak up. He didn't even say a good-bye after he was done smoking, he just like the smoke, left without a scene, without a residue except for the ashes and the burnt cigarette put out against the wall now lying on the ground. Draco watched that burnt out cigarette until the last of the sparks had died and he too walked in, an unsettling feeling whirled again inside of him.

Draco met harry there 3 more times with little conversations until in unknown ways he became addicted to wanting to meet harry there for small conversations but after the third time no matter how long draco stayed there, no matter how often he came to the roof, he didn't meet harry again as if he purposely didn't come to the roof anymore yet draco stood there over the roof everyday waiting for harry to show up at least one of these days.

He never showed up and it was only in mistake when draco wad walking down the wrong floor when he saw harry smoking in the balcony of that floor. Harry watched as draco swiftly passed by with a pained look on his face but harry didn't dare stop him or tried to give any explanation or even say a word. He let him watch, he let him go.

This time draco knew he was repaying his debt for the sin he committed ages ago when he abandoned harry. Harry didn't meet draco or didn't acknowledge or treated him as a stranger because he knew it hurt draco. He knew that draco would be hurt if harry didn't bother him and so he never bothered. Draco didn't bother harry anymore either,he couldn't even if he wanted to.

In that little glance at harry, draco had met with revelations that his self preservation never really worked,that his defense mechanism to save his heart, to shut his feelings never really worked, he was stupid to had walked out of the apartment that night because draco had inevitably already fallen for harry long ago and the more impending truth was he never fell out because he never knew how to. The history was a proof that you can fall in love but had no one taught how to fall out and draco suffered contagiously in the living history. He knew when he saw harry that he was never going to fall out and he would perhaps never understand why but he knew he understood the answers of all these four years that had been Buried somewhere deep inside him. Why he didn't date anymore, why didn't he find anyone attractive anymore, why didn't he ever meet someone intriguing, why didn't he ever had an answer for the question if he was ever in love with harry and the answer lied here, he was, is and will be in love with and it was something he would have to live with it until he learns to unlove harry potter.

"Love was never supposed to hurt this badly" draco whispered to himself; his eyes watered with the reflection of the growing metropolitan city.

( Might do part 2 on request. )

300 followers appreciation dialogue Prompt requests open

Angst Prompt requests open

( Also my regrets and apologies for having been inactive and missing 3 updates in a row )

A symbiotic relationship- they are perfect for each other.

Day 6 of Potter Week Art Prompts by taryndraws - “Perfect pair”

IT'S HERE. THE MASTER LIST WE'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR, IT'S HERE

Masterpost prompts

Yours, forever

Strawberries and Cigarettes

With you, anywhere, everywhere

Kiss your scars

The Locket

You & I, it's everything

Neck Kisses

Dandelions

The fight of the stars

Come back to me

Can we stay forever

Would you?

I've fallen for you

They don't know about us

On purpose

Love me tonight

On the falling star, sequel: the light of a thousand falling stars

We'll figure it out

If one second is our forever

Our soft epilogue

I'll Hold Your Stars

Not everything has to be Malfoy-ish

Say it again, say it again and I swear I'll never stop you

You're safe with me.

pls do a part two of after the autumn 🥺

Hi anon, thank you for making me do it. Here's the part 2-

After the autumn part 2

Draco with bunny smile....idk just a thought!

One I have a lot of questions, was this supposed to be a request or just a random saying. I don't know. If it's a request, please confirm.

Second, I really don't know about Draco but I can imagine harry in a Bunny smile tbh.