Drarry Angst - Tumblr Posts

For he who found solace

They all said when they lost the apartment they've been betting on for months, when they saw their fiance wanting something different, when they couldn't make it through a job interview, when they didn't get a promotion that " life is unfair " but little did they know about the suffering of Someone Somewhere across the world. What a pity should be offered to those who suffered like this but what a pity should be offered to the one who suffered plenty. What a pain must he had felt when the door shut on his face with his bags thrown out of the manor he grew up in, the place who was his own- for raising his voice, for choosing to be someone, for trying to be different, for choosing to not marry young, for choosing to not be a manufacturing unit for the malfoy blood line, for choosing to do the work he liked and not what they liked, for choosing to be Involved in work a malfoy wasn't supposed to be involved in, for choosing to stand for what was right, for choosing to love men over women, what a pity it was to stand there where he stood with tear stained faced with shaking hands and choked sobs that didn't stop. The pain he felt was not what they understood because their father didn't call them a dirty filthy son and threw them out with the bags. They didn't know. The world didn't know what he felt when he was there, nobody cared to. Draco picked up his bags, Walked with destroyed confidence because of that scar that a ruled the life of a 19 year old boy. He disapparated to the one boy who had known the pain, who had lived with his life being ruled upon, who has been rumoured to have broken up with girlfriend. Draco never knew why or how or what he could've done but he knew out of all the used to be broken fragments of people, it was he who would offered him the solace he seeked. He rang the doorbell at much later than midnight and upon opening be whispered in broken voice " can I stay here for a while? I have no one " harry nodded, helping him with bags and letting him in.

It was after hours in the morning light when draco had finally decided he could face the world he approached harry with a small nod and harry stood up, wrapped his arms around him because he finally could and whispered " life is unfair "

I was too tired to complete my prompt tonight.

Requests open

MASTER LIST TO PREVIOUS MICROFICS/PROMPTS

Da Capo - Part 12 - The Last  

Part 1 - 5 // Part 6 - 11 // Request by @sunflowerishdolphin is finally complete, a soft epilogue however will be released. Dialogue Prompt no. 16- “I love you. Is that what you wanted to hear ?” 

Da Capo-(Italian: from the beginning); at the end of a piece of music or a section of it, means that it should be played or sung again from the beginning.

Harry sat restlessly, his legs bouncing up and down frantically, biting his nails waiting for the ticket collector to just take his ticket. Leg bouncing? Nervousness. Biting his nails? Impatient. He stared out from the window as the train started moving and he pressed his back firmly against the seat, his heartbeat rising and falling. He was finally doing it, that’s all he thought, after 10 hours of his brain fusing and turning on again, he was finally going to do it, he was going to finally go home, at least what he used to call home.

In the last 10 hours after he had a peaceful conversation with Thomas about realizing there was only going back, he impatiently stared at the phone, picking up the dialler to call Draco, then set down again. He did it probably a thousand times until he knew there was no way he could fix everything without seeing him. So there he was boarding a 2-hour train at 8 p.m. to London.

“ votre billet ?” (your ticket)

Harry immediately fetched the ticket out of his front pocket, gave him the ticket then finally relaxed down in his chair as if taking the ticket away had done something to him. It really didn’t though.

Not more than 5 minutes later, his nervousness and anxiety crept back in him and he couldn’t wait to just reach already. He became so impatient that the woman who sat in front of him, knitting her sweater and telling a story about when she first started knitting, he felt like putting her sweater on fire but he assured himself it was just anxiety doing it to him, so after minutes he finally politely left his seat and went by the train door and opening it to just breathe. It was in that moment when Harry realized how the small compartments of the train were cage-like, forcing him to halt his breath, suffocating him as if a cord was circling tighter around his neck minute and by the minute. He couldn’t help it but when he stared at the compartment door of the Train, he realized how much he liked being here and how much the compartments reminded him of his life, the people in it and his past, the one that kept suffocating him unconsciously that he deeply desired to abandon everything and so like everything else, he remained seated at the train door instead of in his seat, because he felt more alive here than there.

Those 2 hours in going from Paris to London seemed like a journey of a lifetime with Harry watching fields after fields passing by, his breath halting some times, then relaxing again. Those 2 hours seemed to have taken everything out of him that was left, and rendered him exhausted, and not just physically. When he finally got to the station and boarded off, he sort of wished Draco was there standing to pick him up like Harry always picked him up at the station but then again, nobody knew Harry even was in London now, not even his own heart. It was just his mind that was finally in London and his physical being. It was as if a part of him still hadn’t accepted that he was back where it all started and maybe that part of him was never going to accept.

Harry took the first overpriced taxi to Draco’s apartment and with his heart beating loudly in his chest, he reached there, but when they reached the destination, Harry remained seated for the longest time that it kept overcharging him for every single he remained there.

“ anytime now,” the taxi driver said, biting off his dry lips, watching Harry in the mirror.

Harry looked at the driver, then at the apartment building, then again at the driver.

In the loop he performed, he vividly remembers sitting right in the taxi even the night he left, performing the same loop, it was all like, he was still stuck there, in time, in a loop of Draco and away. He could run away now too, he could easily abandon everything again and probably never come back again but then his eyes fell upon the closed bakery just in front of the building and he remembered the first time Draco had gotten home with stuff from that Bakery and for the first time Harry had felt worthy because someone had done something for him. All those small things that happened made so much more sense but like that closed bakery, abandonment was easier than keeping it up because you always have to pay the debts. He harshly breathed again, his hand pressed against his chest, rubbing in circles to calm his heart but as the loop went on for a longer time, he found it harder and harder to make the first steps. Abandonment was easier. Going away was easier. Leaving everything away was easier but coming back, it was the hardest thing to do.

He irrationally released a breath again and this time the driver spoke “ I’m at perfect Liberty to kick you out, are you going to get out or not ?”

Harry stared at the driver, then finally as if he found a little amount of courage and almost scared of the driver he got out, and the driver immediately scrambled away. He stared longingly at the apartment building, remembering how it had happened before too. It was a loop, Harry reminded himself. A Circle with infinite loops. A Circle that only got more intimidating as it closed in, only it wasn’t a circle closing in, it was right where it had been but it seemed to come closer or maybe it was all just in Harry’s head.

Minutes passed by and Harry remained there, standing in front of the apartment building, he could’ve remained there all night, slept there too, and just simply would’ve met Draco the next morning when he would leave for work but that was easier wasn’t It and coming back was hard and so this night Harry chose the harder thing to do, he walked the steps upstairs after several minutes and without thinking he rang the doorbell.

“ yes ?” A strange man opened the door and Harry’s breath almost stopped upon imagining that Draco had gotten on with someone, moved on, and finally started dating new and a couple hundred more possibilities until the guy asked him again what he actually needed.

“ there’s no Draco Malfoy here ” and he shut the door on Harry’s face. He weirdly stared at the door for a few moments until he realized he rang the wrong doorbell and finally walked up another floor.

He rang the doorbell after double-checking and finally after what felt like several seconds the door opened.

“ Harry ?”

__________________________________

“ can I help you with a cup of tea or a coffee ?” Draco asked as he lowered his gaze at Harry from where he was standing to him who was sitting in Draco’s purple living room chair.

Harry didn’t reply like the several other times he hadn’t this night. He remained there, seated on the chair numb in silence. He was so silent that it seemed like he was in a shock which he was finding difficult to recover from. Draco didn’t know why he even tried asking anything anymore, he didn’t receive a reply anyways.

Draco sighed as he walked back into the kitchen and returned with a cup of coffee and put it on the coffee table next to Harry “if you feel like drinking of course ”

But he received no reply this time either. It was slightly frustrating if Draco had to be honest but the moment his eyes would land up on Harry, he knew there was something so much bigger than he’d ever expected, he knew Harry had a reason coming back here with the luggage but perhaps in the courageous act of packing the luggage he hadn’t made peace with the fact that he was infact coming back to London. So Draco waited like he always promised he would. 

“ I don’t know why you’re here and I’m sure you have a reason but since you’re basically in a shock, I’m going to sit there and keep reading my book like I was doing before, and if you feel like talking just speak up ”

Harry didn’t reply this time either, so defeated Draco sat down on the couch in front of the fireplace and resumed reading his book like he was doing before Harry came along. 

Though in Harry’s mind things ran wild. He was in Shock. He thought he knew what he was doing when he set off to come back here but sitting in the same apartment he abandoned a year ago everything felt so surreal like something was tormenting him. He knew his coming back here had a reason only in the rush of doing the right he hadn’t even thought of what he was going to say when he would finally face Draco. It was like he planned and he planned and there were words in his mouth but the moment he’d try to open his lips, they would collapse on his tongue and he’d be speechless again. There were so many things he wanted to say yet he didn’t know how to tell him, he knew nothing of how he was even going to speak up and it terrified him.

Minutes after minutes went by and only when Draco changed his position a little bit to tuck his feet under his thigh that Harry finally dared to speak.

“ I love you ”

Draco’s eyes widened suddenly, his book almost falling off his hands as he stared at Harry, the words echoing in the room in the thick air.

“ what? ” Draco asked, his throat closing in.

“I love you. Is that what you wanted to hear? Isn’t it ?” Harry nervously asked.

Draco inhaled sharply, closing his eyes for a moment before opening them again and resting his book on the side table, and properly turned to Harry.

“ No ” Draco shook his head “ That’s what you think I want to hear ”

“ then why everything ?” Harry asked

Draco frowned a little, his head tilting like he couldn’t believe Harry had asked something as stupid as this or that he just couldn’t believe that he had asked this question after everything that went down by the river.

“ because I like spending time with you. I told you that before too ”

“ but that’s not all ” Harry countered.

“ it is all-”

“ We both know it’s not ” and now it was Draco’s turn to be left speechless because they both knew it was always more than that, only both of them kept denying the bouncing thought that ever came in their heads until now.

“ Why are you here Harry? I thought you didn’t want to come back here anymore ?” He asked sighing.

“ bec- because- ” he halted then as if he realized he spoke again “ I don’t know ”

Draco let out an exaggerated breath, leaning back on his couch like he couldn’t believe Harry had answered but wasn’t surprised because he saw it coming.

“ you really don’t know? You took a train for here, you came all the way here and you don’t know why ”

“ I- I thought I knew but- I- I don’t anymore ” he stuttered.

Draco pinched the bridge of his nose lightly before he placed his hands to his side on the couch as if he was about to get up.

“ then you coming here was a waste ” and he indeed did get up.

But like a switch that flicked inside Harry, he stood up too and raised his voice to create more emphasis “ to fix things ”

Draco turned around to face Harry “ to fix things? What exactly do you want to fix, us ?”

“ yes- because I don’t want to live off without the possibility of us, I thought I could do that but that’s not what I want, I don’t want to live in a time where we don’t exist because I like us ” that left Draco flushed and speechless, what was he supposed to say, it left him both angry and happy and he didn’t know which exactly he should react with to make it sane enough.

“ you said you like spending time with me and I do too. I want to fix this because maybe one day I want to sit next to you and discuss a grocery list or maybe fight over pillows or whatever it is that couple’s do because I do like you Draco, I just don’t want to live in a time where there isn’t us. I want to fix this because it’s the right thing to do” Harry explained, his hands moving in exasperated motions.

“ you don’t fix things because it’s the right thing to do Harry, you fix things because you want to ”

“ But I want to ”

“ do you really? ”

Silence again.

“ Draco -”

“ Harry, I like you, very much that it physically hurts me but I know what you’re saying right now is not going to last, it didn’t the last time, and nor is it going to this time. You like the idea of us, you don’t actually like everything we have because we had fights over pillows and discussing grocery lists and you were never enthused in it because you didn’t like that, so tell me Harry why do you want to fix things? Why now? Why not a year ago when we had everything ?” Draco asked and waited patiently as Harry gazed at him as if he was reading off a script on his face to look for his answer, though there wasn’t any script because this was real, very much real.

Draco waited for his answer and Harry didn’t have one and he decided to walk away, back into his bedroom without caring what would happen to Harry but that was in his head Because the moment the thought flashed in his eyes, Harry caught and spoke up before he could even take on a step.

“ You had everything Draco”

“ I didn’t ”

And the silence dragged on for several moments. The weight had been lifted or had become balanced but the truth had been unveiled and the moment became so much more than it had been before. This was the reason Harry knew he left that night. Draco had everything, Ron had everything, Hermione had everything, Ginny had everything, everyone had everything but him. He had nothing of his own because everything he had was on borrowed time, relationships, people, things, everything, like nothing was entirely his own and he felt his existence to be just a mere survival as if, if he wasn’t there it would be indifferent Because he simply didn’t matter, because he was always for granted, everything in his life was, even him.

“ I had nothing-”

“You had me, you had Ron, Hermione, molly-everyone-”

“ not my own Draco, not my own. None of you are my own even if someday’s it felt like that but most days when I was sulking away I knew everyone had different lives, everyone was on their own and they had everything- I didn’t. I didn’t live a normal life- at least not what a normal 17 year would have lived Draco- and I looked for it everywhere- in Ron, in Hermione, in Molly, Ginny, George, the work people, you but I didn’t find because none of you are the answers. I had everything but I had nothing Draco, nothing that was just my own, not even my own life. Everything was just granted ” Harry stopped.

For the first time in his life, Harry felt spoken, heard Because he was finally saying words he had held onto for so long that they had Turned into nothing but secret’s he himself didn’t know of and now finally he was unraveling his secrets and Draco was only watching as Harry Started to crumble away like a huge mountain was melting into mere dust. 

“ I loved you Draco- and I did but everything we had in a relationship just grew on me, like I was playing a part of a perfect boyfriend, and even with everyone else, I was playing the part of the perfect ex, the perfect best friend, the perfect savior, the perfect son like, the perfect auror. I was always playing the part-”

“and you didn’t want to anymore. That’s why you left ” Draco finished his sentence. Harry nodded.

“ I was tired. I was so tired that I couldn’t even see anything straight ” Harry’s throat closed and he saw down on the chair once again, releasing a sharp breath, overwhelmed with emotions.

Draco watched Harry almost in pity and curiosity and wonderment in a way for how Harry had lived like this all this time and how had he never realized it.

“ I looked for this answer for so long, I thought that maybe being in Paris would give me the answers but it had been with me, everywhere I went because these words are of my own, not of places. I thought I needed to get away but- I- I never wanted to leave but- every day- I just felt being pushed in a box or you know watching my painting from afar turning into dust, I felt distancing away from who I was, who I could’ve been and I was letting it happen because I was watching it- it was always some ministry dinner, a family dinner, a ball to attend or your parents to visit or going for shopping together and deciding upon which colour of couch matched best with our walls- I thought when I’d be in a relationship, all of this would make me happy but I would see you happily choosing colours of Couch and all I could ever think of was what was the colour of the wall and it was all Because I was lost. I was merely existing- that’s all I was doing. I was only breathing without my heart beating in my chest, do you know what I mean ?” Harry stopped himself again and he watched as Draco had sat down on the arm of the chair Harry was sitting on gazing into the burning fireplace in almost a shock.

“ you never tried to overwhelm me but I just wasn’t there Draco, it was only you in the relationship or at least what I thought and that day when I left it finally clicked to me, that it was just you there and not me and I didn’t want you to figure it out one day, so I left before it was too late. I blamed our relationship a lot for the reason for moving away but in reality, I was the reason I moved because I wasn’t even here, I was nowhere ”

“ I- I never knew- any of it ” Draco stammered almost turning to Harry, only he thought he was but he was just staring at the fireplace.

“ How could you have known, I didn’t even know it myself o-or maybe I did all the time but-”

“ ignored it ?”

Harry nodded.

They remained silent again as if they were allowing the weight of the words to settle down but the words still pinched like they did the first time.

“ I never knew I was imposing our relationship on you,” Draco said after a while, his voice low.

Harry shook his head immediately “ you were not- you were just being you and I- I was just lost ”

“ why didn’t you tell all of this before ?”

“ because I didn’t know- or- I just wasn’t ready to know- I don’t know ” Harry frowned staring at the fireplace too then turning to see Draco.

“ it was fast for me. Everything- and I don’t blame you but it was what it was ”

“ you could’ve said so. All you had to do was tell me, Harry, I would’ve understood you, We lost an entire year- what we could’ve been ” Draco turned to Harry but In silence, he found the answer, he didn’t want to hurt Draco or he thought he was protecting him from getting hurt but in the end, it had turned into a Blunder nobody Could’ve been saved from. The truth was that even if Harry had known this a year ago and he would’ve said anything the time when they were together, the words would’ve turned into a wall of said things and never acted upon and maybe Harry always knew that and now so did Draco.

“ I don’t know if I would’ve said anything it would’ve changed anything,” Harry said and it made sense. It made a lot of sense.

“ It seemed like the right thing to do ” Draco spoke his mind and Harry nodded again.

It felt like the right thing to do.

“ didn’t you ever wonder-”

“ a lot ” harry Chuckled cutting him off “ never bought me any peace. I never wanted to settle in Paris. It was supposed to be a little solo trip I wanted to take time and figure things out and come back to you but I started liking it a little bit. I started feeling like I had something of my own after all like I could have a life of my own and I stayed ”

Draco understandably nodded, his anger, his sadness, his confusion everything melted like butter and all he kept wondering was how didn’t he see all of it after all wasn’t that what his life used to be like. Just a mere survival before Harry even came along. Had he been so oblivious that he didn’t see the man he loved turning into a man he used to be, how could he have missed the signs? Was he so happy in his life, so stable, so well that he didn’t wait to put a thought on how his boyfriend was doing? When was even the last time when they were together he had even asked Harry how he was doing? Did he ever even ask? 

“ did it ever feel like home ?”

Harry thought for a moment before he shook his head “ home is where my heart is, only I don’t know where my heart is, some of it is with you, some with the Weasley’s, some with who had died, some with Thomas back in Paris. A little everywhere, so I don’t know where my home is, maybe it’s with everyone, a little but it exists, just somewhere with everyone ”

They finally smiled facing each other. This was the moment Harry felt something that didn’t feel lost. He didn’t feel like being the perfect man but fell in love with the man who was defying the standards of the perfect man and willing to continue to be imperfect, just the way he was.

“ Home is where my heart is,” Draco said after a while as if he was adding to Harry's monologue or replying to him where his heart was. 

“ and where is that ?” Harry asked bemused

“ by the river sìene I guess- that carousel, that Eiffel tower, that restaurant, your place in Paris, in the plant I pot, but it’s here too, right here- so maybe it’s with you” a pause “ maybe that’s why I keep running back to you even when you leave me- because I’m scared to be alone” Draco frowned by the end.

Harry took his hand and intertwined their fingers in the most natural fitting way because this always felt meant to be and not strange, no matter what their labels were, it always felt natural because maybe what they had, had always been more than just an existence in matters but something very much alive. Harry could always say he felt lost in the time when they were together but when he held Draco’s hands or he intertwined their fingers together or leaned his head on his arm, he knew this was natural because in whatever life they were living right now or in whatever other realities or times they’ve lived in, they’ve always been supposed to be together because them being together seemed the most natural thing ever. 

He leaned his head on his arm and whispered “ I’m scared too, I’m always scared ” 

Draco leaned his head down a little so the top of their heads was pressed together so they knew they were together like they always had been but they always had been apart too. 

That night when they remained sitting there on the armchair for the longest time, they thought individually of all the words left unspoken, of all, they could’ve been but had been so afraid of the reality washing over. They had been so scared to be alone, both of them that they never thought they could survive without the other until they had and they realized they could live without another but it was just simply that they didn’t want to, they wanted to be able to breathe next to another as if sharing the same air was the reason for their survival but it wasn’t. They had lived in different cities, didn’t see each other for a year and more, and realized they could live without another but that was the difference wasn’t it, in wanting to live without another and actually living without another. When they were together maybe everything had been a mere escape for both of them or perhaps they enjoyed the relationship but it was no lie that both of them had been doing nothing but playing the part, even Draco himself, too was playing the part of being the perfect boyfriend, curating a perfect relationship, doing everything as it should’ve been done, Date for 2 years, then move in together, visit parents with boyfriend, go the boyfriends family house, go on family trips, making a public appearance as a couple, do everything as it had been written without even wondering if that was actually what they both wanted. It was then when they stared longingly at the burning fire in the fireplace that the two of them realized that they had been nothing but strange pieces of puzzle cut in shape by a child to fit together even when they didn’t belong to the puzzle, but they were the pieces of a puzzle, just not the one they were put in.

_________________________________

Harry walked to the station with their hand intertwined and ushering about the next weekend plan where Draco would visit Harry and the next perhaps Harry would visit if he felt like it.

” you scared ?“

Harry nodded ” always"

Draco smiled at him and placed a soft kiss on Harry’s cheek in a tender touch “ we’ll begin again when it’s time ”

“ when it’s time ”

“ One ticket to Paris, “ Harry said. 

 Requests open

Da capo - part 6

Trail post part 1 to 5

Ritenuto (Italian: ‘held back’)

Keep reading

7 stages of falling in love with Harry Potter

1. It came in waves and crashed when Draco realised that Harry was always more than his he had ever seemed and that there so much more to his smile, to his eyes, to his words, to his everything that nobody knew of and Draco was the only one learning them in secret passages of the school. Learning that Harry liked saving others not because he was always labelled as the saviour or because liked saving but because he wished someone had saved him or his parents or his closed ones, he saved because he knew the pain of losing, the pain in letting go and the welcoming regret. Draco knew then in those hallways and secret visits in the libraries that Harry had always been more than just a muse to a song, he had always been the thin cloud's a child is amused to see but protective of the dangerously beaming sunlight.

2. It was in the ways of knowing the exact look on Harry's face when he didn't understand something during class, something that was in between a scrunch and a frown and knowing the look of victory that formed on his face after minutes when he'd finally understand what had been said before. It was in knowing what the different looks on Harry's face meant. He had curated a special look for every occasion and even a special look for when Draco would walk towards him and a different look when they'd finally hug.

3. It was in knowing that Harry tasted so much of apples for odd reasons, maybe it was because of his toothpaste or the apple pies he hate in the morning but he always tasted like apples when they'd Kiss and Harry would linger the kiss for a little longer because he knew Draco liked it.

4. The way his lips would turn into a smile when he'd be watching Draco with such fondness that he thought Draco wasn't aware of but he had always enjoyed knowing the way Harry looked at him when he thought Draco wasn't looking, a look that had so much admiration, a look with so much fondness, a look that said ' how did I get so lucky ' but Draco knew better to never to break his gaze of fondness because he knew Harry liked watching Draco when he wasn't looking, like he was storing Draco away in a collection of Memories.

5. It was in seeing Harry in a way nobody had ever known when he would intently be listening to someone's life or would be nothing more than a therapist friend and how he'd crumble so easily with their pain and help them in picking up their pieces. It was in those moments Draco would wonder so much about how someone who had been through so much could still have so much to give, like there wasn't ever enough love Harry delivered but just knowing that Harry placed everyone before him in a selfless act of loving made Draco love him so much more than he had ever imagined.

6. It was in running around trees in forbidden forest or running in circles around Black lake or the midnight session of quidditch when Draco would love Harry in a different way. In the day he loved Harry in a way that he's my sweet boyfriend but when pressed against the trees and kissing for so much longer than would've been suggested by the romance book in libraries, he would think to himself how lucky he had been to find some such a person like Harry, he was paradise in hell and Draco loved every bit of it as Long as it lasted. He was his walking hell and heaven.

7. It was in loving Harry in a way knowing they'd made it through everything, the war, the differences, the fights, the judgements, the rivalries, the abundance of hatred, they had made it through and would relax in a couch they had customised made. Draco would place his legs over that of Harry and sigh in relief and then just hear Harry as he'd read an interesting corner from the witch weekly magazine About a new potions discovery. It was in those moments Draco wondered how long had he even known Harry was the one he wanted to spend a forever with, but then it didn't matter as Long as they had made it through everything and were finally in a house of their own with their name's and Love that was just their own.

An alternative version to - 7 stages of falling in love with Draco Malfoy

Requests open

Hi , can I request for Prompt no. 17. “wHY DO YOU KEEP LYING TO ME ?” , no or light angst please.

i swear i faced a huge writer's block for this one and i don't even know how it turned out tbh.

Keys to a healthy relationship

“ Psychology today’s mentions in the blog that keys to a healthy relationship are trust, honesty and interaction in both negative and positive ways to keep the fire in the relationship burning and to keep love alive. Hear that Ron, interaction and honesty are the keys to a healthy relationship” Hermione eyed Ron, lifting her eyes from the newspaper she was reading from, in a way that she was taunting him about something. 

Ron groaned and just then Harry tagged along on the table “ What are we talking about?” he asked as he gave Hermione her cup of cappuccino and Ron his cup of lemonade while he himself sat down with his cup of normal hot coffee. 

“ Keys to a healthy relationship apparently that Hermione assumes I don’t know of” Ron rolled his eyes 

“Why is that ?” Harry hummed 

“ Tell him, Ron” she narrowed her eyes in a normal way she used to do all those years ago when she was annoyed by Ron or he had done something wrong, Harry was very much familiar with the look. 

“ I lied to her about not wanting to go to the ministry party, I told her I had somethings to do Ginny for Mum and Dad’s anniversary when instead I was watching quidditch match at home” Ron recited monotonously. 

“ See that was lying to me and not communicating to me” Hermione commented 

“ Can you blame him though, I mean have you seen the ministry Party’s, they’re boring as hell, all old wizards and witches and old boring crap” Harry frowned 

“ Exactly, Thank you Harry” Ron exaggerated 

“ But that’s not the point-” 

“ I’m sure he just didn’t want to hurt your feelings by telling you how pathetic those Party’s are and sometimes he just doesn’t like going to them you know. When he’s lying for your benefit then I don’t think they should fundamentally harm your relationship, all technicality you know “ Harry explained as he gulped the remaining of his coffee. 

Ron gave him an impressed smile and looking at Hermione in ‘see he gets it’ 

Hermione rolled her eyes “Fine, I’ll just go by myself-” 

“ That’s not what I meant-” Ron interrupted 

“ Seemed like to me” Hermione lopsidedly replied taking her cup back to the counter suggesting that she was slightly pissed. 

“ Thanks mate “ Ron rolled his eyes and went after Hermione. 

Harry laughed as he watched Ron trying to make upto Hermione and soothing her with words like ‘we’ll go to your favourite orchestra show’ 

Harry shook his head, picking the newspaper from the coffee table and had only read the first few headline when he heard. 

“ Hey “ 

Harry’s face immediately grew into a smile “ Hi babe “ and he immediately got up and pecked his lips quickly in a sweet affection. 

“ What’s up with them ?” Draco asked as he sat down next to Harry on the chair after ordering one of the waiters his regular

“Ron lied to Hermione to avoid a ministry party and now he’s trying to make up to her” Harry chuckled 

“ Can you blame him, those Party’s are as boring as Hagrid’s classes “ Draco and Harry chuckled along. 

“ They weren’t so bad you know “ Harry teased after a while 

“ Please, he left buckbeak on me” Draco rolled his eyes 

“ If we clearly remember-” 

“ We don’t need to get into details. One shall not remain in the past” Draco said and immediately thanked the waiter for bringing his usual coffee. Harry chuckled. 

“We’re still up for tonight ?” Harry asked suddenly 

“ Tonight ?” Draco asked 

“Yeah, We’re visiting Teddy’s recital, I told you that” Harry frowned. 

Draco face immediately formed into a mild shock of how he had absolutely forgotten about that “I totally forgot about that, I- I have some left over work at school to finish, and I have to arrange the test for tomorrow morning, I’m sorry, He won’t be upset if don’t make it through would he ?” Draco asked apologetically

Harry nodded disappointingly “ He’ll understand I think, still try to make it through” 

Draco smiled at Harry before he placed a soft kiss on his forehead and told him he’ll try to make it. 

When a few minutes later Draco left in a hurry claiming he completely forgot about something at work, Harry felt something was off. He had been feeling the vibe and something being off for a while but had not raised any doubt, in himself or in Draco because he knew how much they loved each other and he knew Draco would never do anything to hurt Harry, not purposely anyway, and Harry knew that very well, after all they had been together for a very long time almost 4 years in a couple weeks. 

“ What’s up with you ?” Harry immediately looked up at the question and nodded instantly that everything was fine and he was just thinking about what to wear for Teddy’s recital tonight.

“ Don’t you think Draco had been cancelling a few more plans than usual lately, I mean I didn’t want to say anything but it seems like it doesn’t it ?” Hermione asked settling into the seat where Draco was formerly sitting. 

Harry dazed Turned to Hermione " I've been trying not to think of it but its evident right ?"

Hermione hesitantly nodded " I'm pretty sure it's nothing though. I mean he wouldn't ever hurt you "

" I know but it's just a bit suspicious. Anyways- where did Ron go ?" Harry asked interjecting himself

" oh- he left for some work at office "

Harry nodded despite of it seeming fishy too.

Harry pretended as the days went by that he wasn't bothered by Draco cancelling plans over and over again, he pretended that he was oblivious of the fact that Draco was cancelling most of plans on purpose and surprisingly enough for the first time Ron was calm about the whole situation and told Harry to just relax and maybe see it from a different perspective. Easier said than done, when your boyfriend of 3, almost 4 years cancel on a routine saturday dinner’s for the 3rd time in a month, something felt fishy and he couldn’t help but wonder the worst possible scenarios and even though he hated himself to think of them, he couldn’t help but think of them.

“ Maybe you’re just thinking about it a lot, Maybe he is in fact busy at school. I mean Harry you do know how hard things can be before christmas breaks right, the whole winding up of syllabus and giving off tests and assessing everything. Its not easy being a Professor Harry. I’m sure he’ll make it upto you somehow “ Ron advised and for some reason Harry didn’t feel as though his words were genuine but he did understand the point of it but it was suspicious of how calm he really was being, he was normally the paranoid one in the whole thing but ever since he became an auror and started living with Hermione, he had changed a lot. 

“ Maybe you’re right” Harry sighed. Ron nodded understandably. 

“ But I can’t help but wonder you know “ Harry interrupted 

“ wonder what ?” Ron asked curiously. 

“ That he might be you know “ Harry raised his eyebrows suggestively. 

“ Draco- What. No, It’s Draco we’re talking about, he’d never. He loves you too much to do anything like that. Have a little faith in your boyfriend Harry. This is the same Draco we’re talking about who walked with his hands in your backpocket so people would stop staring at your ass “ Ron chuckled. Harry smiled at the memory. Draco really used to do that and he very much liked putting hands in back pocket to label their relationship. When in the beginning Harry had doubts about the relationship and Draco, he had done that to prove Harry how much he meant to him and how much serious he was about that and that was only back when they were in 8th year and even though everyone knew Harry was taken, Draco used to tag along because he feared one day Harry might find someone better and he hated to think of those times. Their relationship hadn’t been the easiest one’s in any sort, the complications, the humiliations, the fight, the taunts, the hate, everything they had to face to finally reach here, Harry knew Draco wouldn’t trade it for the whole world but with everything, Harry couldn’t help but wonder each time Draco cancelled a plan whether something went wrong in all the time they’ve been together and if Draco is finally bored of Harry after all. 

“Mate, relax. He loves you, its very cheesy but he really does and he reminds you like everyday, if not you then no one “ Ron reassured when Harry remained lost in his thoughts. 

Harry looked at Ron for a few moments before he realised that maybe Ron was right and he was just being more paranoid and again he let it slide and everything turned out fine infact. The next day Draco took both of them out on a nice fancy date and spoiled Harry and apologized a lot for being a terrible boyfriend and for not making time for him and how his activities are inexcusable and Harry knew then in his heart that Draco would never find it in himself to ever think of cheating on Harry or even leaving him because clearly he loved him too much. 

It was a couple of days before Christmas when after a casual meet up after days Harry had stayed over at Draco’s place. There was unsettling odd feeling about everything, and just Draco in general because after the last date he had been pretty distant or somewhat weird and not in a “ i love you less “ way but in a he’s hiding something way and that terrified Harry more than “ i love you less now “, so he wandered off in the apartment after Draco had fallen alseep and was snuggled closely in the blankets. Harry had wandered off just walking in the apartment and ended up scurrying through cabinets to find something to eat when he finally found it. 

Harry gasped as soon as he opened a small blue tiffany box and in it rested a key. 

“ OH - That’s why “ Harry grinned to himself in relief when he realised what it was and kept it back where he found it, smiling to himself. That night Harry slept well for the first time in a long time. 

The next morning events were as delightful as Harry’s mood and had resulted in a morning shower sex and a sweet complimentary breakfast simply because he was too happy to have found that Draco wasn’t cheating on him or anything else but had been apartment hunting and even if he allowed himself to just assume everything, he didn’t refuse to believe that he might be incredibly wrong but it didn’t cause any hurdles in the morning activities. 

“ You’re in a rather good mood today” Draco grinned as he lingered on Harry’s lips after the makeout session in the kitchen. 

“ What can I say, you have this effect on me” Harry whispered with his eyes closed and the sweet taste of Draco’s lips still over his own. 

“ Wow Harry- you- I so want you again right now” Draco bit Harry’s lip pressing him against the counter 

“ Then fucking have me “ 

And they did it again and definitely ended up being late for their respective work places. 

" Draco's going to ask me to move on with him " he suddenly told Hermione, not being able to keep it in anymore.

She gasped " what ?" Then broke into a huge grin

" I was wandering off in his kitchen last night and found a tiffany box with a key in it, so i think but I can't be sure and I am excited but I don't want to get too excited because you know I might have got it all wrong-"

" screw it he's gonna ask you to move in with him " Hermione immediately jumped up and hugged Harry who returned the hug just as affectionately.

" it makes sense you know then, everything- him cancelling plans" Hermione grinned excitedly after breaking apart.

" but we can't be too sure. I mean it's a possibility but-'

" yeah. If he asks you, act surprised" and she she clapped her hand together in excitement again. Harry ended up laughing with her and discussed all the time they were at the coffee shop about when and how he might ask Harry.

Despite Hermione's strict warning to keep it a secret and act natural, Harry couldn't help but smile each time his eyes laid on Draco and would end imagining all the scenarios about how he might ask him, anytime.

" Oh- Harry I forgot to tell you, my Mom's birthday coming up so I am buying her an apartment in central London, what do you think about that ?"Draco asked suddenly as he placed the bowl of spaghetti over bigger coaster and plates by the side.

" an apartment- oh- OH-" Harry face turned into a shock then disappointment upon connecting the dots that the key in the Tiffany box was actually for Narcissa " I- I think it's a lovely present "instead he fake grinned.

" I thought so too, it's the perfect apartment with enough sun light and well ventilation- it's absolutely perfect " Draco grinned.

Harry nodded abruptly immediately taking the plate from the table and immediately taking some of spaghetti in his plate.

" I'm sure it's gonna be great after all it's your choice " Harry gave him a neat smile before he picked up the remote and Turned on the TV and started watching to avoid Draco and thinking of how stupid it was to believe Draco would ask Harry to move in with him.

For the next few days only a couple before Christmas, Harry had visited Hogwarts for some work when he decided to surprise visit to Draco's room, but upon arrival he only heard harsh Whispers.

" You should've seen his face- I mean please He looked to hurt. I don't know how much longer can I hold onto this "

Harry frowned to himself, placing his ear more closely to the door.

" just trust the process Draco, you want it to be special right, then just trust me. He's gonna love it and he'll never deny it alright. Besides it's only a couple days later, just hold on alright. You love him right " a pause " and you want to live with him right" A pause again " then just 2 more days and then you can ask him and it'll finally be over "

" I swear to fucking Merlin I never saw the day would come when I'd take advice from a Weasley " Draco groaned and Harry just knew him too well that he knew Draco must be rolling off his eyes right now.

" Just till Christmas then you can do whatever with him. I'm just making it memorable for him okay. He's gonna love it " He who Harry knew by now was Ron, said.

" I'm gonna wreck your apartment if he doesn't agree to live with me after having practically ignored him all month. You should've seen him Ron- he's- Merlin'- I Love him and I can see it you know that it's hurting him and-"

" I know I know but I made him believe that teachers live's are hard so you're good "

" it better be "

And then in rushed Whispers Ron left the room claiming he needed to get back to work. This explained Ron's absence too from work and his weird faithful behaviour towards Draco. Harry immediately ran for the hallways and hid in one of the broom closet until he was sure Ron left and then finally visited Draco.

After everything he heard, he knew he never wanted to be with anyone more than Draco and there will never be Anyone who would love Harry more him and the thought made Harry so happy that he kept smiling to himself all day and prepared Draco's favourite dinner.

" I- I'm sorry I'm a bit late- wow- Do I smell curry ?" Draco hastily entered the kitchen.

" your favourite " Harry grinned as he leaned up a little and placed an open kiss on Draco's lips.

" What's the occassion?" Draco asked holding onto Harry's waist and stroking his cheek affectionately.

" I just love you that's why. Go freshen up though- I'll place the dinner in 5 minutes " Harry hastily said as he stirred the curry again.

'”oh and by the way Mom invited us for her party on her birthday and we'll give her the key but I'd like if you'd see it before I gave it to her as a present "

" okay " Harry smiled and soon enough Draco left the kitchen.

Within the next 10 minutes Draco and Harry were already sat in the living room, their legs crossed and eating peacefully watching TV together until Draco noticed Harry had been staring at him more than usual.

" what's up with you ? You've been looking at me all night, is there something on my face ?" Draco asked as he wiped his hands in napkin and reached for his face to examine if there was anything on it.

" why do you keep lying to me ?" Harry asked with a smile.

" what ? What makes you think I'm lying ?" Draco asked almost shocked, his ears turning a funny shade of pink like it did when he was flustered.

Harry smiled softly at Draco before he put his plate on the table and wiped his own hands with the napkin and scooted closer to Draco so he was sitting before him, face to face.

" I heard you and Ron today at your office"

Draco didn't reply, still lying that it wasn't what Harry knew it was.

" can you stop pretending please, it's killing me- I already found the Tiffany box in your kitchen " Harry grinned.

Draco wanted to keep up the facade of not being dazed by Harry at all but with a smile like Harry gave one, Nobody stood a chance.

" did you like it ?" Draco asked, talking Harry's hands in his own and tracing soft circles.

" I didn't see the apartment, I want to see it with you " Harry smiled, kissing Draco's knuckles.

Draco blushed naturally, nodding and agreeing that they'll see it soon then.

'" I had this whole thing planned, you know asking at the burrow in front of everyone, down on one knee " Draco groaned as he wrapped his arm around Harry shoulder and leaning his head over it.

" I don't care how fancy it all have to be you know. I Never cared about extravaganza, all I care is that I get to live with you and that I can't wait but if it means so much to you, you do it your way I'll act surprised " Harry chuckled, kissing Draco's ear.

" one problem though " Draco said

Harry moved away so he could see Draco clearly " what is it ?"

'" you're shit at acting "

Harry whined playfully hitting Draco with a pillow and turning into laughter. Eventually the night turned into a pillow fight and a lot of laughter and bunch of make out on the ground but as long as they were together, there was nothing that didn't make sense.

So 2 days after, Draco did get down on one knee at the burrow and asked Harry to move in with him, Harry acted surprised in the most natural way and answered a yes, making everyone hoot and cheering them on with opening bottle of champagne.

" you already knew, didn't you ?" Hermione asked

" Don't tell anyone that " Harry nodded and soon the night turned into how it always did, in laughter and love.

 \\ Requests open // MASTERLIST

Just another letter

" hey, how are you ? I hope you're doing alright. I know you're mad at me right now for not showing up and for dodging you since a couple of weeks and not returning your calls and you deserve to be mad. I also know you're wondering why am I writing you this now, frankly I don't know, I'm drunk so voila. But what I do know is that I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything and everything that may happen and I understood if you'd be mad but I want you to know, no I need you to know that all I ever did was because I was hurt, you may think I'm crazy or I'm talking absurdly but that is the truth, I was and I am hurt, still. You remember the day when you gave me the news of your marriage, a part of me harry still remains in that moment like time never moved and we're locked in a loop of you telling me you're getting married and it keeps hurting me everytime you come around and tell me in thin air but I see it everyday and I haven't moved on since and I wish I could. I wish it were a choice to fall for you or not, but it wasn't a choice, unfortunately it wasn't. If it really were my choice I'd make myself find someone else or better yet I'd make you and I be together but the choices doesn't rely in my hands. I tried so hard to not have feelings for you but you tell me that when you spend every hour of everyday with the same person, you'd fall too but then again you didn't, that's the thing right, there's the trick. You spend every hour of everyday with me and yet you didn't fall, I was the Only one falling hoping that maybe you'd catch me but you know you were there just taking the catch of someone else, you were there hoping that they would fall for you in the same sanctifying way that you did. I wish I could change everything, I can't, this perhaps adds to list of things I can't change and would forever be bound to. What you've done to me will probably never change, the way you light my soul, the way you make me smile, the way you leave me breathless, that won't change and I'm grateful to you because you taught me things my heart didn't know or was afraid of but falling for you was so simple, so easy like I've been doing my whole life, but then perhaps I was doing it my whole life and you weren't. You see, I was yours from the moment I met you, the moment your eyes laid upon me, my soul, my eyes, my mouth, my words, my body, my thoughts, my ways, my hands, my arms, my legs, my finger's, my lips, my senses, my heart, and me, all became yours even when you didn't ask for it but I gave it all to you anyway. I held out my bleeding heart for you. I loved you and I never loved anyone else, yet...

We are soulmates Harry as I like to think, just not the ones who end up together.

I wish you all the goodluck in future with you and your marriage and I hope it's lasts.

Yours truly,

Draco Lucius malfoy "

Da Capo- Part 13- The epilogue

Part 1 to 5 // Part 6 to 12 //

TW- IMPLIED SOFT SMUT

La fin

The sweat trickled down his back in the obvious summer heat of June. The cascading sun was making everything hotter than usual and it seemed like the hottest day of the year. The hot heavy traffic that was normally very visible had vanquished in thin air, everyone avoiding to go anywhere out unless it wasn’t air-conditioned and yet, Harry was coldly staring at the lizard on the wall, basking in the sun and watching it change its position a few times in the last 5 minutes to eat any insect that came insight as if Mozart, the lizard Harry named had been so hungry after a fight with his wife that she refused to cook food for him or banished him from the house and asked him to look for his own meal and here he was eating whatever was available even if the aftertaste almost made him spit it out, he ate it because he had no choice left of his own but to fill his stomach with whatever was available for the mere survival. Mozart changed its position and ate his next prey and Harry interestingly watched as he tilted his head upward as though he enjoyed this one but Merlin knew if it was she or he but in his dead company Harry liked to think it was a He. Mozart swallowed another one and then remained still as the sun shone over his body and he relished as one does on the beach and didn’t sought to change his position anymore, as if he was already full, this thought disturbed Harry. How can someone be so done so quickly? Yet he kept staring at him, almost waiting for it changes its position anymore, he didn’t and Harry only broke out of his interesting watch show on Mozart until the church bell across the street had rung loudly and it suddenly reminded him to call Draco again, he awaited for an answer. 

He padded inside the living room barefoot, still very white as if they had been very cold and wiped the sweat off from his body with a small hand towel he had left on the couch and finally dialed Draco’s number in a haste and just as hastily as he had called, as hastily Draco had picked up, also very quickly like he had been waiting for the call for a very long time and he had just left his chair to finally give up or to bring a book to read while he waited for the call but just as he had gotten up, the phone had rung and he had sworn at it ‘why not when I was sat’ but he didn’t let it resonate in his voice. 

“I want to “ 

“ Are you sure ?” 

“ It would make me very Happy” and he could hear his smile on the phone as they chatted a little more, also making future arrangements. 

_________________________________

It had been 6 months or so, or maybe more since that call happened and they had stepped into a very different phase of their life. And right now Harry was happily hanging up the call with Molly after having learned on the phone to make Alison Roman’s swordfish with crushed olives and had just kept in the oven the pies to bake. Harry had been decorating the fish plate when the door opened and Draco walked in with his Bags with clothes enough to spend 4 days before they’d leave for New year’s eve. 

“You’re here” Harry happily said as he wiped his hands in a kitchen towel and wanted to help Draco’s bag into the living room but Draco had other plans and had pulled Harry in a compassionate kiss, not letting go until his heart had forgotten that he hadn’t kissed Harry in 3 weeks. 

“ So missed me ?” Harry teased very much aware that he was still holding onto his Kashmere maroon sweater. 

“ Very “ Draco smiled placing another small kiss on Harry’s lips and allowing the intimacy of his hand to run through his sweater as if he wanted so much more and yet nothing but enjoy the feeling of his sweater. 

“ I missed you too” Harry had said after the kiss, brushing some loose strands from off Draco’s face “ You had been growing hair ?” He asked 

Draco nodded happily “ something new to try, bored of the same old short blond hair” 

“Well I think they look absolutely wonderful, in fact I like the long hair better than the short ones, give’s me more to hold onto” Harry whispered until both of them grew more flustered till the point they couldn’t stop themselves from kissing again and this time devouring the taste of each other’s lips in their own and only then had Harry realized, it had been a long time since they last kissed this way. 

They broke apart to the sound of the oven going off, obviously.

“ So what have you planned for our special Christmas in Paris?” Draco finally asked pushing his bags into the living room corner and sitting down on one of the kitchen stools. 

“Well that is a surpise-” 

“ What ?” Draco interjected surprised. 

“ Yes, it is a surprise and I know I don’t normally do them but I thought it’d be nice for a change. In the meantime as I prepare the table why don’t you go and freshen up and say hi to your Trina “ Trina was the plant Draco had named, it had happened in one drunken night when Harry and he had returned stumbling from a Bar they found nearby and the conversation had funnily turned into why Plants don’t have a name like human does and why do they have to be called as their species name and how weird it would be to be called homo sapiens all the time, Therefore Trina. It was among the many habits they just grew into and couldn’t get rid off. 

Draco nodded and left to freshen up and say hi to Trina while Harry did as he had said, readied the table. 

“Hey, isn’t this the picture from the Last christmas ?” Draco asked as he walked into the living room with a framed picture in his hand he had found kept just over the fireplace. 

“ Oh yeah, I had forgotten about it until I was cleaning and had found it, then I just got it framed. Nice picture though right ?” Draco nodded and added that he too would like a copy so he can keep it too in his flat back in Britain.

It seemed wild how long ago the last Christmas seemed like, only last year had they spent Christmas in London and wandering off the city late at night after all the Christmas dinners. It was the best memory Harry had of Draco laughing. He remembers even that when he just wanted to hold Draco while they were walking miles to god knows where but the thought of just being together wrapped in fuzzy oversized sweaters and trench coat, Harry remembered wanting to be held and just hold so they had some memory of spending Christmas together because he was still so confused about everything that he was afraid that one day he himself would just flip the switch and would utter the words of not wanting to see him again but back then they weren’t together, they had been nothing more than friends until June when they had finally decided that they could no longer pretend they didn’t want each other in ways more than just a friend. It had resulted in a fight even that time but Draco had only left Harry with two options: one, either they could keep pretending they were fine not being each other, or second, they could do exactly what their hearts desired ignoring the uncertainty of everything, so did Harry wanted to? Harry did, he really did and until now he hadn’t regretted saying he wanted to except doing a long-distance relationship and more of a relationship on a phone call than in actual life but they had grown to love it, even if they sometimes resented it, it gave both of them their liberty yet didn’t leave them absolutely stranded. It was like Harry phrased, just what they needed.

They discussed over lunch about the evening plans to just wander off about in the city and see the decorations and stop by one of Harry’s readings he had to do at the community college. It was usual now, his readings at the community college and he absolutely loved them and so did Draco. It gave Harry a chance to explore his interests and illuminate his talents that were completely devoid of the talents he inherited from Magic, the whole magical world seemed so distant to Harry yet always with him. Draco nagged him a lot about using Magic in everyday life a lot for some basic things yet somehow a part of Harry when said goodbye to a lot of things, magic for some time became one of them but he knew one day he would find his ways back to the world where he belonged, just not yet. 

As decided they spent the day roaming around the city and later around the evening they headed to Harry’s reading. Draco promised to sit in the back without a word and just appreciate Harry from a distance while after the reading he would meet a few people while Draco would silently wait for him and ultimately they would head back to Harry’s flat. 

Harry folded and unfolded the paper a lot, stuffing it back in his coats pocket, he was suddenly aware of how nervous he really was even though he had done this a lot of times, yet he was. He adjusted the mic on the podium according to his height and glanced at the back to Draco who had raised a thumb at Harry wishing him a silent good luck, Harry fondly smiled and his worries seemed to dissolve little by little as he kept his eyes on Draco. It was Draco he ever needed to look at for his heart to race back to normal. Draco it was, it always had been, will be. 

“Bonsoir à tous” 

“ Cette poésie spécifique va pour le dos, qui n'ont absolument aucune idée de ce que je dis mais j'espère que vous comprendriez si seulement un peu”

(This one specific poetry goes for the in the back, who have absolutely no idea what I'm saying but i hope you would understand if only a little) 

A few turned their heads to look at Draco and a few just smiled like they just admired the existence of someone Harry was dedicating his words to.

“ Quand tu peux exister comment je ne t'aime pas “

(When you can exist how do I not love you. ) 

“ Je vois dans la façon dont tu passes ta main dans mes draps et me demande si c'est du coton“

(I see in the way you run your hand through my sheets and ask me if it's cotton) 

“ Je vois aussi dans ta façon de prendre nos photos encadrées et de sourire“ 

(I also see in the way you pick up our framed pictures and smile )

“ Je vois ce que nous avons perdu et je souhaite quand je te regarde de tout reprendre mais je t'aimais alors et je t'aime maintenant mais je ne peux pas te promettre de t'aimer pour toujours de la même manière parce que je ne sûr si j'existerai pour toujours“

( I see it what we've lost and i wish it when i look at you to take it all back but i loved you then and i love you now but i can't promise to love you forever the same way because I'm not sure if I'll exist forever) 

“ On ne sait même pas s'il existe pour toujours mais si c'est le cas, c'est dans tes yeux, dans tes bras, dans ton emprise, dans ton cœur, dans ton âme car tu existeras pour“ 

(We don't even know if forever exist but if it does, it is in your eyes, in your arms, in your hold, in your heart, in your soul because you will exist forever, i will not)

“ Parce que je ne suis qu'un mortel avec le même cœur et la même âme mais toi tu es extraordinaire"

( Because i'm just a mortal with the same heart and the same soul but you, you are extraordinary)  

“ Tu n'es pas que toi, tu es autre chose, quelque chose hors de ma portée” 

( You are not just you, you are something else, something beyond my reach )

“ Mais alors tu m'as voulu et donc me voici et je t'ai voulu beaucoup plus“

( But then you have wanted me and so here i am and I've wanted you much more )

“ Peut-être qu'il y a une raison pour laquelle je parle une autre langue, alors peut-être que tu trouveras mon amour plus qu'il ne l'est parce que l'amour est dans les mots n'est-ce pas, caché dans les langues” 

( Maybe there's a reason why i speak another language, so that maybe you find my love more than it is because love is in the words isn't it, hidden in languages )

“ Mais aujourd'hui si tu comprends ça, tiens moi dans tes bras ce soir, dans tes yeux et redemande moi si mes draps sont en coton “ 

(But today if you understand this, Hold me in your arms tonight, in your eyes and ask me again if my bed sheets are cotton)

“ Peut-être qu'alors je dirai que c'est de la soie pas du coton et ensuite nous nous emmitouflerions et nous dormirons à nouveau et puis je te dirais combien je t'aime, dis que quand tu existes comment puis-je ne pas t'aimer” 

( Maybe then i'll say that its silk not cotton and then we'd bundle up together and we'll sleep again and then i would tell you how much i love you, tell that when you exist how can i not love you )

The room broke in a minute applause then a little louder and some intrigued listener whipped their heads backward and ushered words in french to Draco. Harry smiled from across the room to Draco then finally got off walking only to him and kissing him on the face. 

“ un homme chanceux que tu es “ (one lucky man you are ) one of the readers there had told Draco. He had nodded his head as though he understood but as soon as Harry and Draco left the place, it was his first question. 

“ ne pas répondre “ Harry chuckled, intertwining their hands together and stumbling back to his place (not answering ) 

“ Guess i’ll have to relearn french after all” Draco rolled his eyes, Harry only laughed. 

____________________________________

Late at night when after the dinner they had finally decided to go to bed and Harry was stroking Draco’s arm softly, Draco turned a little to Harry, staring into his face but not saying anything. 

“ what ?” Harry asked 

“ You said something about me tonight didn’t you? That’s why everyone kept saying something or the other “ Draco said, his hand lying flatly over Harry’s bare stomach, enjoying the intimacy. 

“ For all you know I could’ve insulted you there” Harry chuckled 

“ But you didn’t, I know, It was in your eyes when you spoke, It wasn’t anything witty, it was from your heart “ Draco said 

“ Maybe I’m just good at acting” Harry shrugged jokingly. 

“ But you were not “ Draco blinked for a moment. Harry looked at him for longer than usual but didn’t say anything, he didn’t know how to. 

Draco kept his gaze on Harry until he sat upright, his back facing Harry and breathing minimally rapidly. Sighing, Harry too sat upright, placing his hand on Draco’s back, running his finger down his pointed spine, 

“ Does it matter what I say ?” Harry asked with his eyes closed, his chin resting on Draco’s shoulder. 

Draco shook his head and immediately turned to Harry, cupping his face in his own hands “It matters the most, what you say, it matters a lot” 

Harry blinked at Draco, taking his hands from the side of his face and kissing softly the inside of his palm, then his wrist, then his forearm over his mark, then his arms, then his shoulder, then behind his ear making Draco shudder with his eyes closing enjoying the feeling of Harry’s lips on his body, then Harry whispered in his ear 

“ I love you “ 

Draco opened his eyes instantly, creating a small distance to look at Harry and any signs of hesitation or reluctance or a forced look but there was none “ You love me ?”

“ I love you “ Harry nodded 

Draco blinked at Harry, then stared at him some more and then felt the tears prickle in his eyes, he didn’t know why he felt like crying but he felt like that, maybe it was the way Harry had said it, or maybe it was Harry had kissed him or maybe it was what Harry had said or maybe it was just Harry but the small tears that made his eyes glassy had been formed from peace and pleasure and love. 

“ I love you too “ Draco finally said it for the second time in his life to the same person but both the times had been so different, he had loved Harry even then but had he really loved him and meant it then, he wasn’t so sure but right now, he could move mountains to convince that he loved Harry and he did this time in a very real way. 

Harry’s eyes turned glossy too, his lips curved into a little smile. He enclosed any distance between them that their knees were touching and he kissed Draco’s ears again. 

“ Say that again” 

Draco’s head tipped back a little in pleasure but his hands finding their way into Harry’s hair and scratching his head a little, then traveling to behind his ear “ I love you “ 

“ Again “ Harry whispered kissing his mandible 

“ I love you “ Draco whispered his hands again in his hair. 

Harry separated from his body as if he still couldn’t believe that Draco had said it back, he smiled at him, then traced his fingers over his forehead, his eyebrows, his eyes, the curve of his nose, his cheekbones, the bottom of his lip, all over his face and Draco allowed Harry to as though in letting him touch him, he was confessing his I love you’s, still, as if he was the cloud and Harry had finally become lucky enough to touch them, run his hand through them. Harry touched him and Draco allowed himself to be touched and not just physically. 

Harry kissed his forehead then said it again “ I love you “ 

“ I love you too “ Draco sighed in calmness. 

“ I love you, “ Harry said again, kissing his eyes 

“ I love you too” “ It is real Harry, it is “ Draco replied, his eyes still shut. 

“ I know but I want to tell you I love you until my air runs out, I’ve waited long enough, I’ve wasted so much time and Days, I don’t want to this time, not this time,” Harry said kissing his cheeks, then his neck, then his clavicle, then his throat. 

“ I love you, “ Harry said it again and this time he kissed him over the lips. 

“ I love you too “ Draco sighed, falling back on the mattress taking Harry with him, allowing him to kiss every inch of his body and Harry kissed every inch of his body that even if Draco showered next morning, his love would still confide in every part of his body. Like his body was no longer just his own, it was embedded with Harry’s love and making sure every part of his body knew that Harry loved him and in the most real way that maybe even in his next life, his body would know it had been loved by none other than Harry. He was marking him and Draco allowed himself to be marked.  

_____________________________________

The next morning they both had woken up to the biggest smiles and smiled more when they remembered their night, it was so intimate that it was no imprinted in their heads that no matter wherever they might go, neither of them will be able to think of anything but that night of passion with each other. 

Draco prepared Harry breakfast in bed and they ended up repeating last nights event only it was repeated, everything from then on will be repeated because it was that one night and there can only exist that one night, the rest are just repetitions of event, a re-enactment of what had happened.  

They stayed in bed for the most part of the day, snuggled into the perfect christmas day until finally they had convinced themselves that they needed to get up eventually and Harry claimed that he needed to run some errands and some other things too, so they did get up. 

Draco was left alone for the most remaining part of the day because whatever Harry had left to do and the errands to run had been taking far too long but he kept himself busy, framing pictures of Harry he took the first time he came to Paris, sorted Harry’s sock drawer, made something to eat, watched a christmas movie and then had Harry returned. 

“Took too long “ Draco said as he entered the flat. 

Harry grinned at Draco then said “ Remember our Christmas plan, I have a surprise “ 

“ Now ?” Draco asked almost exasperated 

“ Yes, I’m taking you on a date so get ready,” Harry said hastily before kissing his face and dragging him to the bedroom. 

They both were dressing up and Harry had been putting on the shirt when Draco noticed “it's the same blowy shirt you took from me when we got together the first time “ 

Harry smiled, then nodded “ Still reminds me of you a lot, whenever you’re not here, I wear it and there you are” 

Draco smiled fondly and padded across the room and kissed Harry over the lips “ Now I’m here ” 

Harry only smiled. 

Once done with dressing up, Harry insisted Draco on wearing a blindfold and took him exactly where they needed to be, even though Draco expressed his worries a lot that he might fall. Harry only asked him to trust him. 

Upon reaching where they needed to be, Harry opened his blindfold and stuffed it in his pocket. 

“ so this is what you were doing after leaving me alone today” Draco teased after looking at the place Harry decorated, covered in snow too at the rooftop. 

“ Yeah, sorry about leaving you alone “ Harry rubbed the back of his neck chuckling, then asked for Draco’s hand to make him sit on the table he had arranged. 

“ You did all of this? alone ?” Draco asked curiously 

“ Thomas helped me “ Harry replied taking the chair in front of Draco’s “ Shall we?” he asked pointing to the food on the table. Draco nodded. 

“ So this was your special evening ?” Draco asked setting down his glass of champagne, then wiping his hand in a napkin. 

“ No actually- this is” Harry stood up from his chair and knelt down on one knee in front of Draco.

“ What-” 

“ Don’t worry it’s not a proposal “ Harry chuckled. 

Draco relaxed, then nodded for him to proceed but evidently couldn’t stop smiling. 

“ I thought of making a grand gesture but where we are, the grandest of them all is actually where we are so I decided to do this how I would’ve done it. I could’ve so easily done all of this anywhere else but this is where we are, right, in the heart of the city, right where we belong “ Harry smiled taking a short pause 

“ But I belong a lot more to you than anyone else and every time you go back to London you’re taking a piece of me away with you but it’d be soon when I’m not left with any but to take me and I want you to, I want you to take me with you, everywhere you go. So Draco, I’m asking you to move in with me wherever you want to because all that matters to me is that I’m with you “ 

Draco stared at Harry for a long moment before he broke into a grin and nodded “ I want to move in with you “ 

Harry smiled enthusiastically and immediately hugged Draco “I thought you’d had said it's too soon for us” 

“ But if not now, when, if not later, when “ Draco replied. 

Harry smiled then kissed him again. 

_______________________________________

“ Where to ?” he asked from behind the counter 

“ 2 tickets to London “ 

  <THE END>

Da capo - part 6

Trail post part 1 to 5

Ritenuto (Italian: ‘held back’)

Keep reading

Da Capo

A complete edited version of Da Capo is now on AO3 so instead of reading each part here, you can read it as a whole there.

Summary :

Da Capo-(Italian: from the beginning); at the end of a piece of music or a section of it, means that it should be played or sung again from the beginning.

1 year and 6 month's later Draco malfoy had called and fate had changed Harry's life, once again for the last time.

_________________________

“ sometimes but other times I just forget ” harry shrugged looking forward before crossing the road.

“ forget what ?” Draco asked as he ran to maintain his pace with harry.

“ forget that I’m lonely. The best way to not get lonely is just not to think of being lonely "

_____________________________

Word limit : 32,909

Chapter's : 13

Status: completed

Warning: No archive warnings applied

Rating : Mature

Relationship : M/M

Characters : Harry potter, Draco Malfoy, Hermione Granger, Ginny Weasley, Ron Weasley, Original characters.

Additional Tags: long distance relationship, Paris, French Harry Potter , Refrences to Depression, loneliness, hurt/comfort, Fluff and Angst, Potioneer Draco Malfoy, Writer Harry Potter

Hi, I hope you're doing great. I have a request for you : Harry knowing how to do pottery and Draco being the only one who knows it. Thanks.

So yes, a while ago i had actually been tagged in a post to write a one shot where Harry knows Pottery and Draco finding out one day and Harry makes all sorts of weird potteries while Draco is flustered. I never really got the chance to write it however or as i'd like to put it I forgot( i tend to a lot these days) but here we are now.

TW- NSFW | EXPLICIT WORK | IMPLIED SMUT

Voldemort with a hat by Harry potter

" no, don't- Draco don't open that- door-" but it was too late and Draco had already tripped over and held the handle for support and unlocked the whole Narnia.

" I told you not to open that door " Harry grumbled as he held his hand for Draco to take.

Draco tipped his head back off on the ground, then looked at Harry above him holding his hand out " you do pottery ?"

" yes yes very funny, Potter potters, now get up " Harry rolled his eyes.

Draco laughed hysterically making Harry groan louder and leaving him on the ground.

" it's not that funny " Harry's monotonously said

" it's hilarious " Draco was still laughing on the ground, his hands clench his stomach.

" I swear if you tell this to anyone, I'm gonna put you into one these potteries and sell it to the French " Harry threatened.

"But please, I can imagine the witch weekly article's and daily prophets front page article " the chosen one chose pottery " " and he tipped his head off laughing again.

Harry kneeled down over Draco, grabbing his collar to make his point clear " I mean it Draco, you tell anyone you're dead"

It took Draco a minute but he took his threats even though he knew Harry was only just words and got up by the help of Harry.

" it's still funny "

" say that one more time and I'll break your face " Harry growled, his chest pressed against Draco's.

" Woah, easy there tiger " and he laughed off again, walking away from him and picking up random antiques from shelf after a while then keeping them back again.

" you're an arse " Harry rolled his eyes, then locked the pottery room.

" you bet I am " Draco challenged smugly.

Harry just shook his head and then ended up laughing himself, he really was an arse.

That was how Draco discovered Harry's secret about pottery and had sworn to his secrecy but not once had he actually seen any of Harry's pottery or even working on his potteries that Draco almost believed Harry never made them but he was sure he had glanced into the secret room and saw a few ceramics although his tinge of curiosity always wanted to know what Harry made. His curiosity came to a halt on one late afternoon when Draco had given Harry a surprise visit and there he was standing in nothing but pants with what looked like mud or clay on his chest. That was the first time Draco was embarrassed to have stared at Harry long enough for him to pull off a smug look and cross his arms.

" body staring contest is over mister, can I escort you inside ?" Harry smirked turning around.

" I was just stating at how hideous your body is " Draco obviously lied, he looked like a damn Greek god and a good one at that.

" yeah sure seemed like it " Harry mumbled taking a bottle out of fridge and handing it to Draco.

" what were you doing ?" Draco asked curiously still trying hard to just look at his face and not his totally lick-able body.

" what do you think I was doing, I'm covered In mud and clay" Harry voice reached a higher octave scrunching his face.

" playing in your garden " Draco pursed his lips from laughing.

" you think you're so funny " Harry rolled his eyes " besides my Garden is all cemented, there's just a few pots " He added.

Harry turned around walking towards his pottery room or what seemed like.

" what are you doing here anyways?" Harry asked momentarily turning around.

" I was bored " Draco mumbled putting the bottle back in the fridge and walking after Harry.

Harry frowned then nodded in agreement "well, you're welcome to the abode " Harry said as he spread his arms when he entered into his pottery room, secret pottery room.

"so this is your Narnia " Draco joked entering the room behind Harry.

Harry rolled his eyes then stood before the counter which Draco couldn't the hold of what he was doing.

" so what sort of potteries do you make ?" Draco asked moving around in the room.

" Take a look yourself" he replied distractedly.

Draco shrugged then moved further into the room towards the shelves against the walls and watches curiously.

" what is this ? " Draco scrunched his face in confusion as he picked one of them up and showing it to Harry who now was sat in front of the pottery wheel, the the dough of clay placed in the center.

" I think that's a vulva " Harry replied before he carefully examined. Draco blushed then set it down.

" so erotica is your thing then ?" Draco asked as he saw a few more.

" no not necessarily, there's more stuff " Harry replied putting on a hairband to keep his hair off his forehead, then Turned on his wheel. Totally arousing to Draco, not that he admitted it though.

" yeah, like this octopus " Draco Almost wanted to laugh but didn't.

" yeah like that octopus " Harry Chuckled and Draco noticed ad he wet his hands and slapped the dough of clay. Draco almost yelped then turned around flustered to other shelf.

" oh- an ass shaped vase " Draco announced amused.

" oh yeah- one of the bests " Harry laughed shortly from the other end of the room.

Draco roamed a bit more and found more potteries like naked womans, vulvas, naked mens, different asses, octupus, a weird sort of fish, a few sober vases, an eye, a sort of alien, frog with wings, lizard with long legs, a weird looking lady with dropped eyes, and-

" Voldemort with a hat- I've never seen anything more funnier " Draco laughed. Harry laughed too.

" it was on war memorial day- he looks Pretty doesn't he, I want to paint him too actually, maybe make him have red lips and wear eye make-up " harry joked laughing.

" bet it'd be fun " Draco smiled.

Draco finally crossed the room and leaned against the door watching Harry wet his hands and clay over and over again then shaping the clay.

" what are you making ?" Draco asked, his arms crossed.

" I don't know" Harry shrugged " any suggestions ?"

Draco puckered his lips thinking for a moment then laughed at his own self.

" what is it ?" Harry insisted.

" you'll laugh at me " Draco replied

" I'm gonna do that either way- so tell me " Harry shrugged.

" what about a penis or a dildo " And then Draco laughed at himself again whereas Harry only frowned and nodded.

" wanna try with me ?" Harry asked finally.

Draco could've so easily said no because he didn't want to get his cloths dirty or clay in his nails and his hands all wet but when Harry Potter is sitting in front of you with a head band on and shirtless and a serious look on his face, he obviously couldn't deny even if he wanted to.

So they sat, face to face and Harry guided Draco along the way.

" wet your hands again " Harry instructed and Draco did so.

" now, since we've done centring, we need to get on with opening and then we'll begin shaping Alright, Just follow my hands "

Draco nodded.

Harry placed his hand at the bottom while Draco Just above his and they began work on the opening.

" press your thumb on thr centre" Harry instructed but Draco didn't get it so he placed his hands over Draco's and helped him shape the opening. And slowly and slowly he moved with Draco's hand up and down shaping the pottery.

" thick or thin ?" Harry asked suddenly.

Draco croaked then cleared his throat "whatever's fine"

" thick then. You sure you can do it ?" Harry asked and even though Draco nodded, he couldn't help but wonder if there was any other meaning to his question.

Harry moved his hands up and down along with those Draco's and shaping it just fine but the more Draco noticed theirs hands going up and down to keep the pottery steady, the more he could feel getting strangely hot, maybe it was just the room or maybe it was watching Harry or it was doing pottery with Harry but whatever it was, Draco didn't like it.

" I think the base is alright, with the balls-" harry smiled " now we go for the head- you wanna give the head?"

" the what ?" Draco exasperated. Maybe he should've paid more attention.

" the head. The head of this pottery, the penis. You wanna try giving it the head or should I help ?" Draco Could've sworn he saw him smirking but he kept his head down. Harry was definitely doing it on purpose, or was he ? Or was it just Draco ?

" guide me through it " Draco innocently replied, or tried to.

" well then, keep your pinky finger right here then cone the rest of your hand to give it a round shape " Harry guided.

" slow and steady- not too fast- it's just a hand job-"

" a what?" The pottery could've almost collapsed if Harry had not managed to save it just at the right time.

" it's hand work Draco- just a hand work- what's up with you ?" Harry Chuckled.

Draco visibly relaxed. He definitely needed some air. He wasn't usually so flustered and out of zone around Harry but something about doing it with Harry was intoxicating , almost addictive yet brilliantly breath taking.

" nothing- just zoned out " Draco mumbled and they went back to shaping the head carefully.

Harry guided through again until they were almost done " here, you just move your hand up and down there and I'll do better the head"

Draco blushed again but nodded and steadily moved his head up and down of what was the length of the pottery penis while Harry finely with the help of a wire shaped the it more accurately.

They did that 5 more minutes until Harry moved his hand away and watched Draco.

" No- don't- not yet " Harry cut off as Draco was almost about the take off his hands too. Flustered Draco nodded and kept moving his hand up and down in a fist until Draco finally understood what was happening with Harry's smug look, immediately took his hands off the pottery and stood up, Washing his hands.

Harry chuckled then Turned off the pottery wheel and left the made pottery over it and got up himself " I'm sorry if that was uncomfortable- but it was your idea " he shrugged wiping his body with a wet towel to get rid of the clay that splattered over him.

" no it was alright- it was just a pottery " Draco mumbled drying his hands off in a clean towel.

" still- I didn't want to make you uncomfortable, wasn't my intention- I should've Suggested a simple vase or something like that instead of making a peni-" and his voice died out in his throat as Draco pushed him backward and kissed him over the lips in a rapid urge that he had been holding onto ever since he got there, ever since the first he learned Harry did pottery, ever since all the first times and here was his opportunity, if Harry pushed away then be it but he didn't push him away instead he grabbed his waist and pulled him closer, leaning against the counter behind him and devouring Draco's lip as enthusiastically and as eagerly.

" I'm glad we did that " Harry said when they broke apart for a moment to reach for breath before they could've begun again.

" the Pottery or this ?" Draco asked, his lips not an inch further from Harry's.

" both " and they kissed again, tumbling what was left more of the counter to get over it.

" to the bedroom ?" Harry asked pulling away. Draco thought for a moment before he nodded and they moved out of his Pottery room and into his bedroom on the same floor.

" listen before we do this- can I just say, this isn't just one time thing for me " Harry said as he shut the door behind them.

" neither for me " Draco smiled.

" so you- you'd like to go out sometime ?" Harry asked

" would love to " Draco smiled again and Harry kissed him again not breaking the stance from before and maintaining the eagerness to get into bed and remain nothing more than breathless naked people.

Guess that penis pottery worked out well after all.

Requests open / previous fics

Hey bestie, how r you doing? Hope my favourite Internet person is having a day with filed with dopamines in your head. I'm unfortunately sick and down with fever a couple of days and I'm in a sappy mood to read some soft cuddly sickfics, either one sick and other one taking leave to take care of them? 🥺❤️

Hi love, I'm doing good. How are you holding up, any better now ? Take care 🦋.

I normally never reply this fast anymore, at least not within a day time ( tho this was supposed to come out yesterday but writing this took ages) anymore but you have found a way into my heart to get an early reply, so here's your prompt while I also combine this one of my dialogue prompts i haven’t been able to get back to in ages, so here’s this for you.

Let me take care of you

Dialogue prompt 10: "Nobody’s seen you in days" | request by @thebusyfangirl | fluff |

Harry rang the doorbell over and over again, knocking his door loudly impatiently, almost angry and there he was, opening the door with those usual mumbling about waiting a little longer and a man can only walk this fast. 

“ I should’ve known it were you, only you’d knock my door like a bloody owl “ Draco rolled his eyes, tugging his blanket tighter to his body and walking back where he came from letting Harry follow him into his condo. 

“You look like you are high on Dragon blood “ Harry mumbled taking his coat off and hanging it on the hanger by the door and following through. 

“ why are you here anyways ?”Draco asked as he walked into the kitchen and poured himself some warm water then sighing in relaxation upon wrapping his hand around the warm cup. 

“ Nobody’s seen you in days “ Harry exclaimed throwing his hands in the air. 

“ Stop being so damn loud, my ears hurt “ Draco winced. Harry immediately cooled off. 

“ You’re sick and I know it” Harry sighed. 

Draco rolled his eyes in denial “ I’m not “ 

“ Right because everyone like to be wrapped up like burrito in a blanket “ Harry rolled his eyes welcoming himself into the kitchen and pouring a glass of water for himself. 

“For your kind information my blanket is really soft and I do like to be bundled up-” and there was a sneeze as soon as Harry opened a window to prove his point. 

“ Water got in my nose “ Draco tried to explain 

“ Yeah sure because you drink water like an elephant “ Harry rolled his eyes then immediately shut off the window. 

“ Can you- just leave Potter . I don’t need your saving- besides we’re not even friends” Draco hopelessly said 

“ I’m not goddamn saving you, you’re clearly sick and your ego is too big to ask for anyone’s help, not even your own friends ”Harry sighed opening cabinets after cabinets to make something for Draco. 

“ I do not need help and least of all yours- and what the hell are thinking searching shit up in my place” He got closer to Harry forbidding him from opening another cabinet but raising his hand out of the blanket meant exposing his hand to cold hair, ultimately the cold rushing inside his blanket and sneezing. He shuddered immediately, wrapping himself closer to the blanket.

“Would you just please- please let me help you so you can get better so we can go back you doing my work in the office, its really piling up” Harry told. 

Draco rolled his eyes “ Of course, always looking for advantage “ 

“ Well obviously” Harry said it as if it was very obvious. 

“ Potter- just leave, i’ll be fine in a few days and then I can complete your goddamn work. Now please- leave” Draco shuddered, sneezing another time and then harshly coughing. 

Harry rolled his eyes then got behind Draco and pushed him to move forward. 

“ Wha-What are you doing? Potter- just- Would you stop ?” he almost stumbled over his long blanket but Harry caught him just in time. 

“ Stop talking before I tape your mouth shut. Just please, for once in your life let your ego down and let me help you and you know you do need my help” Harry raised his eyebrows at him. 

“ I-do-not-need-your-help “ Draco gritted. 

Harry rolled his eyes then picked Draco in his arms, bridal style and burst into Draco’s room while all Draco kept was punching him to let him down and cursing at him. 

“ Get me arrested all you want later but right now if you don’t shut up, i’m going to do unfathomable things to you “ Harry raised his eyebrows, tucking Draco into the bed. 

“ Oh yeah and what would you do? Hex me ?” Draco asked rolling his eyes impatiently. 

“ No, honey, I will burn down all your favourite tuxedo’s, diminish your watches, bind you to bed “ Harry smiled evilly at him. 

Draco gasped “ You do anything to my watches or my clothes I will kill you “ He threatened, sneezing immediately after that. Harry frowned at him wondering how clothes and watches were infact his priority and not himself but then this was Draco Malfoy. 

“ Stay put and everything will be fine ” and with that he left the room, taking Draco’s wand with him. 

Draco remained in the bed mumbling curses at Harry for invading his personal space, being a complete prat, being an intolerant human being, and just in general being a huge pain in the ass however he couldn’t help but feel relaxed knowing he didn’t had to be entirely alone while he was sick. 

A couple moments later the door opened again and Harry walked in with a bowl on a tray, wearing Draco’s apron. 

“ Not my apron ” Draco whined and then sneezed. 

“ I’m pleased by your thank you, here’s your hot soup” Harry rolled his eyes, dragging a stool by his bed and sitting down after setting the soup on the side table. 

“ Here, let me help-” 

“ I don’t need your help, I can get my hands out of my blanket on my own” Draco rolled his eyes. 

Harry almost wanted to give him the biggest eye roll yet and maybe even tell him to shut the hell up but knowing Draco, he just huffed and shrugged, watching him struggle to get his hand out of the blanket and when he finally did after so long, he immediately sneezed 10 times in a row. 

“ For Merlin’s sake-” Harry huffed and instantly put his hands back under the blanket “ Let me help, just please-let me “ 

Draco chewed the inside of his cheek then nodded in hesitation. 

“ Thank you ” Harry sighed then sat on the side of his bed and picked up the bowl of soup and took a spoonful and blowing air to cool it down. 

“ You don’t have to do that I’m not a baby ” Draco said. Harry looked at him with a ‘ seriously’ look, then basically poured the hot soup down his throat. 

“ Agh- fuck -ouch “ Draco stuck his tongue out panting 

“ Wanna try again ?” Harry mockingly asked. 

Draco rolled his eyes then nodded “ I can cool the soup down on my own ”

Harry huffed then nodded and helped carefully to make him drink his soup. Draco drank the soup with little to no remarks, quietly allowing being taken care of while Harry wiped the extra soup that might drip a couple of times in the process. 

“ So you’re babysitting me then ” Draco said after having finished the soup. 

“ You’re right actually, I should’ve bought teddy too, you’re both babies ” Harry chuckled lightly and then left the room with the tray and the bowl knowing he had pissed Draco. 

He walked back in after a while, Draco knowing he had done his dishes that had been in the sink for longer than he’s ever let and he sort of regretted it but knowing Harry if even a little, he would not have been able to convince him otherwise. 

“ Did you check your temperature ?” Harry asked 

“ I did “ Draco lied and Harry caught on. 

“ You’re unbelievable. Where’s your thermometer ?” Harry asked. 

“ 3rd drawer “ Draco nodded his head towards his bed side stool. 

Harry checked the drawer and indeed it was there, only it wasn’t working. 

“ Maybe its battery ran out “ Harry mumbled. 

“ It doesn’t matter, its probably just cold, i’ll be fine “ Draco said. 

Harry looked at Draco like he couldn’t believe him, again “ Malfoy for all you know you could have fever, viral, malaria, chicken pox-” 

“ I do not have chicken pox, if that was it there would’ve been a lot of spots on my body and if I did had that you’d had run away the moment you’d had seen me “ Draco said. 

“ One that’s not true, I would’ve still helped taking care of you and second I’m gonna run to the store and buy you a new thermometer “ Harry said getting up from the floor and just for a good measure placing the back of his hand against Draco to see how hot he was. 

“ wha-” draco turned red 

“ Relax I’m only detecting how warm you are, luckily not a lot but i’m still going to the store. I’ll be back in a while “ 

“ But Potter -” it was no use though. Harry had already walked out of the bedroom and Draco had no energy left to yell for him, so he was stuck with his hands under his blanket like a penguin. 

Draco sat there for a long time humming songs to himself, dozing off a little in between and basically wondering a lot why Harry was really here? Was he really just here so Draco could get better sooner so he would join back office and complete his pending work ? Or was there something else ? Although Draco couldn’t help but think if it was all just fake, all his caring was just a fake deal he had to do because he was in some stupid bet? That one did make a lot of sense considering how pushy Harry was being. Draco decided to try to investigate on it when he finally had the time. 

He had almost dozed off again when he heard the door open and the rustling with the coat hanger and finally someone walking in. 

“ I’m sorry I’m late- are you alright ?” Harry asked instantly walking to the bedside and dropping all he bought by the table and feeling his cheek again to see if he was any more warmer, he was. 

“ I just nodded off a little “ Draco mumbled, his voice hoarse and dense. 

Harry unpacked the thermometer he bought and helped Draco put it in his mouth under his tongue and waiting for the result. When it finally beeped Harry pulled it out immediately that it almost seemed harsh.

" sorry " Harry mumbled checking the readings " hm, it's just fever, although we can't let it get higher than this, so I've got some medicines for you, let me get some warm water " and he ran to the kitchen without even letting Draco ask him anything.

And he came back almost as soon as he left " you seem tired "

" I feel tired " Draco mumbled sleepishly.

" here, take these medicine's you'll be fine hopefully just in time " Harry smiled a little then took out the pills in his hand and asked Draco to take them but Draco only kept staring at the pills in his hands with a frown.

" what's the matter ?" Harry asked.

Draco gulped " nothing"

" but you're hesitating, what's the matter? " Harry asked again.

" nothin-"

" that's not true " Harry sternly said.

Draco gulped again the turned red in embarrassment " I don't like pills. They taste bitter. I- I prefer syrups- now you can laugh all you want. Might as well make a joke about how I can't eat pills and for being such a baby-"

" would it help if I crushed them ?"Harry asked ignoring his later remarks.

Draco frowned " aren't you going to make fun of me ?"

" No " Harry sweetly replied with a small smile.

" would it help if I crushed it then? Perhaps dissolved it in a little juice ?" Harry asked. Draco frowned not being able to believe that he wasn't making fun, but he suspected that he was going to at some point with his friends and right now he was just pretending to be the nice guy.

" you're seriously not going-"

" I'll crush them and add them in a juice, that would work " Harry told him and left the room with medicines and came back with a small glass of juice.

" it won't be bitter now " Harry told him. Draco frowned again in confusion but took the glass from Harry and drank it painfully because of dehydration.

" was it better ?" Harry asked. Draco nodded.

" well then. It's 12:39 right now, so maybe you should sleep and I'll check on you in a couple of hours. You need to sleep for the Medicine to work " harry adviced.

" what are you going to do then ?" Draco asked almost curiously.

Harry offered him a little smile then said " I'll figure something out " and then helped tucking Draco into the bed more firmly to sleep.

Draco finally woke up to the sky looking more pink through his window, meaning it was already evening and he had slept for a good amount of time. He pushed himself up and looked at the side of this table to find a bowl of water and towel kept there, along with Harry's sweater and just like that it came rushing to him all the thoughts he had about why Harry wanted to help but for odd reasons his worries had dissolved about Harry only doing it out of advantage because It genuinely seemed as he if he cared. Draco pushed himself out of the bed in socks, taking a shawl with him to still keep himself warm even though he didn't feel that cold anymore and walked out of his room and into the living room.

He walked more through when he found Harry sitting on the arm chair peacefully in front of the fire place with his legs crossed over the footstool, that's when he realised Harry had fallen asleep. Draco stepped more forward to get a better look of Harry because apparently it was soothing to see him sleep with his arms were tucked under one another in a Cross and soft relaxed stress free look on his face which Draco realised he'd normally never seen and it struck him then, he had never really seen Harry without a frown on his forehead except for now but moment didn't last long when Draco accidentally slipped because of his socks and for support reached for the nearest stool, making the wooden camel set on it fall to the ground, startling Harry up from his sleep.

" what are you doing out, you should be in bed ?" Harry asked standing up immediately and fixing himself up.

" I- I just woke up a while and felt better. You can go now if you feel like ?" Draco asked but for strange reasons he didn't want Harry to agree, not just yet, he didn't know why.

" I- I'm not sure about that. You got really hot while sleeping and I had to cool you down with cold towels for a long time. I- I think it'd be better if I just stay, at least until I know your fever isn't getting bad " Harry shrugged. Draco nodded understandably.

" I- am gonna make something for you to eat,it's almost time for you medicine too" Harry said. Draco nodded again and harry walked into his kitchen. Draco frowned as another realisation dawned on him and asked

" Potter- Have you eaten anything since you got here ?"

Harry furrowed his eyebrows then nodded uncertainly.

" no you haven't, you've been taking care of all this while- how-"

" I'll be okay " Harry reassured.

" No, you must be starving-"

" it's alright. I can go on without food for a long time. I don't get hungry that much " Harry shrugged then started looking through cabinets again but it struck Draco as an odd thing to say, how can anyone stay without food for an entire day without feeling remotely Hungry?

" Potter- you really must be hungry- just first eat something and then you can make something for me-"

" I'm fine Malfoy " Harry snapped. Draco almost winced but wasn't surprised although it did shock him if only a little. He was sensitive about this ?

" I won't eat unless you're eating with me " Draco made a deal

" what ?" Harry asked taken a back by his abruptness.

" that's right- I will not eat anything unless you promise me you'll eat with me "

" But I'm not hungry "

" bullshit. It's seven in the fucking evening of course you're hungry " Draco Snapped back then immediately coughed loudly

Harry ran and fetched him a glass of water, patting his back to calm him. Draco soon nodded assuring Harry that he was fine now.

“ You should eat now “ Harry insisted

“ Not unless you’re eating with me “ Draco fought back

“ Malfoy- “

“ I mean it Potter “ Draco threatened. Harry sighed knowing there was no going against Draco and nodded. Draco finally gave him a light grin in victory,Harry returned the smile.

“ Mac and cheese ?” Draco nodded.

Harry helped Draco into the living room after having complained that he felt more sicker in his room and would simply like being in the living room so now Harry was covering him with blanket and adjusting the pillows behind his back so he was comfortable enough.

“ TV ?” Harry asked Draco and he nodded.

Midway through watching TV and Harry preparing something to eat, Draco interjected.

“ That smells nice “

Harry smiled at him through the open kitchen window “Ginny taught me “

Draco nodded then let in his hesitation wonder about what went wrong between them.

“ We just weren’t right for each other ” Harry answered his thoughts.

“ I wasn’t-”

“ I know “ Harry smiled then put the dish in the sink and bought the two plates into the living room where Draco was sitting and sat down by his side on the footstool.

“ That’s too low “

" here sit besides me " Draco shifted a little to make some space for Harry. Reluctantly Harry did sit besides Draco.

" Do you want me to feed you ?" Harry asked taking the plate in his own hands.

Draco looked at him for a moment, then his hands under the blankets and then nodded childishly.

" My hands are just pretty warm now "

" Sure I believe you " Harry rolled his eyes playfully then gathered a spoonful of the pasta, blowed air on it make it edible enough then helped him eat and repeated the same until the plate was finished.

" it's time for you meds " Harry announced getting up and taking the plate with him.

" Potter " Draco glared.

" I'm really not hungry " Harry shrugged

" just a few bites. You'll die of starvation otherwise and I definitely don't want a dead body in my house" Draco shrugged

" people don't die of starvation in just one day. If that were true I'd had been dead ages ago " Harry tried to laugh it off as if it was a joke but it wasn't humorous to Draco.

" just eat " Draco insisted. Harry sighed then sat down by Draco's feet and finished his portion of mac and cheese he made.

" now was it so hard ?" Draco raised his eyebrows at him. Harry rolled his eyes then shook his head and departed to the kitchen.

" do you want me to add your meds in your tea ? That is if you'd like some ?" Harry asked from the kitchen the peeked his head out of the kitchen for an answer.

" I'd like tea- I like cham-"

" chamomile, I know. Don't worry I got you " Harry grinned then went back to the kitchen while Draco was left speechless. He knew what kind of tea he preferred?

10 minutes later Harry came back into the living room with two cups in hand and helped Draco drink his own tea with medicines dissolved.

Only when Harry was sitting down peacefully on the opposite side of the couch drinking his own tea Draco asked him " how do you know what tea I like ?"

" you told me " Harry nodded.

" No I didn't-"

" I vividly remember you did. It was the first year when we got the case together and you had yelled at me for bringing you normal tea and then ordered me to bring you chamomile tea. You also said you only like milked coffee because Black coffee tastes blank " Harry told him.

Draco looked at him, thoroughly amazed by his memory then broke in light laughter " that was 4 years ago "

" yeah and I remember. I'm not as ignorant as I seem Draco " Harry smiled.

Draco's heart didn't obviously melted when he called him ' Draco ' and he didn't obviously noticed that it was the first time Harry called him by his first name. He definitely didn't notice either of them.

Draco gave him a firm smile then they both turned to the TV enjoying whatever movie was playing until Draco started growing restless and tried changing his position, the direction of his head at least 5 times in 1 minute.

" is something wrong?" Harry asked.

Draco looked at him for a moment then nodded " mild headache "

Harry immediately turned off the TV " do you want me to massage your head- they really help ?"

Before Draco could even deny the offer Harry already gotten up and was insisting Draco to make some space for him behind him and he had no other option left but to oblige. So there they were, Draco leaning backwards to rest his head on Harry's lap.

" where does it hurt ?" Harry asked. Draco pointed to the either side of his forehead and Harry immediately started moving his finger's in a circle on both the sides.

" better ?" Harry asked after a while. Draco nodded in his lap with his eyes closed enjoying Harry's massage.

Harry continued moving his fingers in circles through his scalp to his side causing a feeling of relaxation in Draco for a long time until his headache started evaporating little by little and he finally opened his eyes to look at Harry.

" Potter "

" yeah ?"

" why are you really here ?" He finally asked the question he had terrified of listening to the answer of.

Harry swallowed, closed his eyes momentarily then said " Because I knew you were sick and you had no one to take care of and despite of you saying that you're capable of doing everything on your own, you're not. Sometimes you are just helpless and it's alright you know "

" now what's the actual reason you're here- come on- you know there is another reason that you are here but Just don't want to say " Draco teased.

Harry let out a soft laugh, moving his hand In soft circle over his forehead as if he was drawing something " I- just feel guilty about a lot of things including how I still treat you in the office, like I'm trying to always trying to prove I'm better than you and how I treated you before. I always know I'm doing wrong but I barely ever take a chance to change thing's with you, maybe because of the office surrounding or maybe I'm just afraid of what other's might say but I still want to start new, maybe show you that I'm not all bad. Maybe this was my way of proving that we can start over "

Draco smiled up at Harry fondly then spoke "we can start over. I'd like that. And if it makes it any better I feel guilty about how I've treated you before and even though I know I've apologized I still feel like I always owe you an apology "

Harry smiled down at him, massaging his scalp then saying " Then we should start over. Hi, I'm Harry Potter and I would like to be friends with you "

Draco chuckled " okay then, Hi, I'm Draco malfoy- wait no- I think I can tell the wrong sort for myself "

Harry blurted out laughing, Draco tagging along wheezing until both their lungs gave out. Harry leaned down a bit after the laughing session, pressing the center of Draco's forehead with his thumb, relieving him some more "that was well deserved "

" I think so too " Draco smiled and sneezed almost all over Harry's face.

" I can't believe you " Harry chuckled wiping off his face from a tissue.

" I'm sorry " but he couldn't stop laughing.

The rest of the night Draco remained on Harry's lap as he took care of him in ways Draco had forgotten he could be taken care of with all his questions going away as of what would it advantage Harry and allowed himself in to be. He even knew Harry didn't sleep most of the night because he was checking how warm he was every once in a while and when Draco had grown restless in the middle of the night because he was shivering, Harry took care of it by rubbing his hands over his feet and putting him in 2 more pair of socks and Singing him a lullaby to put him to sleep. Draco woke up in the morning to find Harry sleeping while sitting but mumbling incoherent things and unconsciously checking on Draco, he almost wanted to laugh but for obvious reasons he found it endearing waking up to Harry by his side and not completely alone. It was as if he could even imagine doing more than often.

The rest of the day Harry insisted on staying and taking care of Draco, while he insisted Harry should go home. Ultimately they settled for Harry going back home for a while to freshen up and come back and as Said Harry did came back in an hour and immediately made him soup while Draco watched him endearingly.

" I never thought I'd have The Harry Potter in my kitchen making me soup " Draco laughed.

" Well you Never even thought we'd be working together either but here we are and we are now friends, so I guess life is full of surprises after all " Harry grinned.

" oh we're friends ?" Draco teased

" we definitely are Draco " Harry raised an eyebrow at him challenging him.

" oh are w-" but his sentence was cut short with a sneeze and Harry immediately handed him a tissue.

" We are " Harry Stated and this time Draco didn't try to challenge him, they obviously were friends now.

And as promised Harry took care of Draco in his own arms, helping him relieve some headache that had Returned and sharing with him some of his greatest life stories and it all seemed very fitting as if they'd been doing this their whole life. It seemed perfect.

Within a couple of days, Draco was all set to be back in the office but when he had, he was received with a letter that Harry wouldn't make it to the office.

Without thinking Draco barged into his place finding a Harry bundled up in blankets, his heart melting at the sight.

" let me take care of you my very dear friend" Draco smiled at him teasingly then shoved off his coats and left it on the arm rest of the couch.

Harry tipped off his head laughing in a husky tone then sneezing immediately " please do- I'm dying here without you "

And that was the start of their love story. Not every love story is born out of A girl meets a boy and they fall in love and live happily ever after, some are born with boy meets a boy and they hate each other until they learn to love one another because loving each other was so much more easier than hating each other.

The Cards Of Fate

" Walk with me " He smiled, the other one nodded and they walked with each of their bicycles in their hands. And they did until they were exactly where they needed to be.

They parked their bicycles across the wall, one leaning over another.

" where are we going now then ?" Draco finally asked.

Harry smiled at him then took his hand in his own and asked him to just walk with him and to trust him on this one. Within a few moments Draco realised they were walking into a farm with a scarecrow around the centre, an empty place but a welcoming one . They only Walked for a few more moments until Harry halted and took out his handkerchief from his pocket, casting an enlargement charm and sprawled it over the grass in between of the farm.

" So what ? We're gonna lay here in just anybody's farm ?" Draco asked but he could hardly contain his smile.

" That is exactly what we're going to do " Harry grinned and offered his hand for Draco to take to sit down, Draco took his hand like a charm and sat down over the now turned into sheets.

Harry sat down next to him leaning back with the support of his elbows and his knees bent looking at Draco endearingly.

" So that's your end of the date rendezvous " Draco chuckled.

" Indeed and now we're going to know about constellations because you know them " Harry smiled at him. Draco smiled back at him then leaned back the same way Harry was leaning then looked at the open night sky they could hardly see in the city.

" you see that weird antena sort of looking constellation, sort of a T but a little bent? Right there ?" Draco pointed, taking Harry's hand in his own to draw the hand Draco's was to learn the constellation " that's Cancer"

" charming " Harry chuckled. Draco elicited a sort laugh himself then kept staring in the sky to find another.

" you see that Indian doll sort of thing that looks like it's shooting an arrow ?"

" where ?"

Draco took his hand again and pointed right where his eyes was " you see it ?"

" no "

" come closer " and Harry did, he was close enough to Draco to feel his breath fanning over his neck, blood immediately gushing in his cheeks, making him blush.

" you see it now ?"

Harry looked at Draco for a moment in fondness then turned again to the sky and finally agreed.

" That's orion " Draco said. Harry's face became distraught for only a second upon old memories flooding through but then he remembered the way he had learned through Draco to find Beauty in loss and he smiled remembering Sirius.

Draco Turned to Harry finally, brushing his hair behind his ear with a smile on his face that was somewhere in between love and respect. There was fondness in the way he was smiling but there was pride it held as though he was so proud of Harry like he had never seen a man like himself, like he'd never ever meet someone like him ever again in his life and he was happy to have met him.

And then there was this smile Harry had always found hard to label, it was always a mix of happiness and sadness but never quite enough to be either separately, he always wondered why that smile but he never asked until now.

" what ?" Harry asked grazing Draco's face with his own fingers in a light touch then taking his hand away to hold Draco's hand.

Draco collapsed on the ground with a sigh but didn't Stop smiling or looking at Harry.

" one year " Draco finally whispered.

Harry leaned down pressing a soft kiss over his cheek then saying " it's unbelievable but it's true. One year "

" You must be one stupid idiot to be with me" Draco teased.

" As I last heard " Harry joked so they dissolved in muffled laughs until they were left with Draco smiling the same way he was smiling at him before.

" 365 days of putting up with my bullshit, with my tantrums, with trying to gain my trust, my ego issues, my problems, my nonsense, my life, me, why would someone ever want to do that ?" Draco genuinely asked.

Harry could've said so many things, so many about how Draco doesn't give himself enough credit or how he isn't who he think he is or how he isn't that hard to be with or how he's the best thing that happened to him despite everything but he ushered in a small sentence perfectly " you're right, I want to do it 365 more days and then another 365 more days, then another, then another, then another till we're grey and old and you'd forget that we'd been together for longer than 365 days, I want to do it forever with you and I don't mind it at all "

Draco's smile turned into a little frown then a single tear glossed his left eye and then he chuckled " I should be mad at you, or say you're stupid or should be upset with you, but- I can't- you're still making me smile "

" that's a good thing then because I always want to make you smile, I like it when you smile, it's pretty and it's very gorgeous and it makes my heart Runs faster in a good way and I like that. I like it when you smile Draco, I love it and I hate it when you cry " Harry told him, with a gaze full of fondness.

Draco shook his head then leaned upwards towards Harry and placed a kiss over his lips pouring what he couldn't say out loud, perhaps letting this kiss make him understand better of what he wants to say but can't because he's tongue tied. Perhaps in the kiss he's trying to tell him that he wants all of that too but can't say it because Harry already knows it and there is no use in telling him what he already knew, yet he separated for just a moment and said

" You're such a sap "

" I love you "

Draco smiled again " I Love you too " and they resumed kissing each other while fate drew their cards to Never separate them,even In another life.

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Ghost man

A request from Instagram on Life of Draco Malfoy

It doesn't Sting, nor does it burn something inside, it doesn't change anything. Burning that list that he made notes of to how to be a man, now burning it didn't make any difference. It Only caused the smoke to go up his face, his fingers heating up as the spreading fire on the paper reaches closer to his fingers from which he held, the ashes falling in the bin he kept beneath. It didn't change anything, it doesn't move anything inside him as he thought it would and it didn't because now it was too late. He had only been a child, at a mere age of 16 when he had learned it was already too late, already too late to correct his mistakes, so Early in his life he was done with living, so young. So early in his life he knew it was too late, what child thought that ? Him. But now, it's far too late for anything to ever even be changed, he's already the man he loathes.

He can sense it when he looks at the flower vendor across where he lives, how his heart is rolled on his sleeve, how he always gives one rose to the little girl without cost and the guy behind the counter in departmental store who somehow always puts candies in Draco's bag for free or the girl who sits in the pharmacy who always happens to give him an extra strip of paracetamol or his friends from school who are still in touch and everyone once in a while meets up at a brunch and fight over who would pay but Draco, he's a ghost man just living in a mortal world. Where there should've been a heart, there's just a large black hole like somebody had taken it away ages ago and told him he didn't deserve it and gave it to someone who needed a heart. How do you survive without the heart? You don't, you're dead.

He's dead inside and out like the core of a log, he have been for a long time but sometimes his non existent black holed heart twitches for love, a forbidden love even perhaps or any kind of love. He's on all the pages of business magazines, in articles over front pages of newspapers, he's one of the most successful event planner in and outside wizarding World, almost a celebrity, the worth, the fame, the money he have and all for nothing. What wouldn't he do to just trade it to go back to his manor when he was five years old and frolick and roll around in the grass rather than sitting on the table being taught table manners. What wouldn't he do to trade to get a time turner so he could undo his life. What wouldn't he trade to just feel loved, not just true love but the love that is poured out from the heart of a mother to the son in a night tales, the love that is given by his father in a sweet licorice candies, the love that a friend gives when they kiss their cheeks, the love that is shared between friends, the love that could be shared by lovers. What wouldn't he do to trade his life to be the flower vendor across the street or the girl at the pharmacy or to be the guy from departmental store or his friends, just to feel loved and maybe cherished and Just to be offered a little smile as he would walk to his office but nothing would be traded because nothing is worth the trade, it was all too late to press the button of life and change it. It was far too late, he had already been neglected by the father who was supposed to love him, already been with a mother who talked more of the events and his work than asking how's he been, he had already been the friend everyone just thinks is suitable for a one night stand, he had already been the friend everyone was intimidated of, he had already been the guy who's been hated by so many out of spite and jealousy.

But it's not like he didn't had everything. He had everything. Everything he didn't want including the perfume that rests in the back of his wardrobe he got it when he was merely 14, the silk pajamas that are far too itchy to be worn, the tuxedo he no longer fits in and 10 more which he doesn't even like, the bean bag that had never been sat on, the expensive china he never had anyone to even share with, the expensive watches his mother bought him which now are almost 6 Years old and had stopped working, the expensive bed sheets gifted by someone that is somewhere in the attic that he Never would use, the expensive wallet that he can never for the life of him change to because he's grown attached to his 8 year old wallet, the snow globe he got when he was only 7 that sits on his showcase he rarely ever even sees, the cuff links his father bought him when he was 15 on Christmas that he had only worn in the day of Christmas and never sought to even spare another glance at it, he had everything yet, he had absolutely nothing, he lived in an Empty place all by himself to share nothing with no one.

He thinks a lot of the times when he was so frustrated at his parents, at his teacher's, at his friends, at the people, at the world, everyone, when he just wanted to change to someone who was a better person, who gave free potion lessons to young pupils, someone who wasn't arrogant and had been in one book nerd clubs, someone who wasn't thursted upon with decision like who to be be, what to become, someone who was allowed to make mistakes, someone who was allowed to spill over the table, someone who wasn't forced to be the top of the class, someone who wasn't ashamed of himself, someone who had his own life he curated but he wasn't that person and he was never going to be because there's just so little left in his life to change that now the deadness that flows in him forbids him to even try to change anything. He wishes a lot that he had someone like Harry Potter had to tell him what's wrong, to help him create a good path, to tell him that his life was his own, people who might've even praised him and loved him but he had none and he was convinced that he was never going to find anyone. Who would want to be with a dead man?

And so where he sits right now burning the list of things he had made notes of how to be and who to become, it doesn't change anything and he lights his cigarette from the burning fire, letting the burning paper slip from his hand and drop into the bin after it had burnt his dead finger's. He holds the cigarette between his finger and walks over to the balcony of his dead like apartment and brings the cigarette to his lips, he doesn't like the taste, but the likes how it's killing him. The power of cigarette was infact in the fact that it burnt his lungs, killing him slowly, that was now his purpose of life, wasn't it?

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Dreams do come true

" sometimes you know I just wish I could curl up and go to sleep and wake up in a place where I feel loved " Draco sighs as he lazily stirred his coffee with a spoon.

Harry chuckled before him " what made you say that ?"

"It's just lately I've been so damn single, I just wish I had someone you know, like that stupid couple over there " Draco nodded off in the direction of a couple sitting by the window in the corner of the cafe talking in soft Whispers and giggling about something.

" You're not that lonely draco, and relationships are not everything you know. Coming from a guy who's cursed with all dates going wrong and who's relationship somehow end up with words I'm straight, I'd say they're terrible " Harry smiled as he passed draco the Oreo biscuits he fetched out of his pockets

" but it is everything harry. Love is everything. You just haven't felt it yet " Draco sighed rolling his eyes, then taking a biscuit from Harry " i just want to be taken out on a nice date and be pampered and have the amazing sex and wake up next to him the next morning, maybe a breakfast in bed and not just with my bloody cat who jumps up and down on me to wake up " Draco slurred.

Harry laughed softly then offered " let's go on a date then. I mean we will exclude the sex part, but I can take you on a nice date, pamper you, and you know I already know all your favourite thing's and what you like to eat, and drink. It'll be perfect and your temptation would be fulfilled "

Draco looked at Harry for a few moments, reconsidering everything then lazily agreed with Harry to go on a date. The only flaw in the plan was that Draco got everything he ever looked for, the pampering, the spoiling, the cuddles, the amazing sex and the morning sex and the breakfast in bed..but perhaps it wasn't a flaw after all. They both finally got what their dreams looked like, a reality birthed from what had only been a fantasy.

REQUESTS OPEN /PREVIOUS FICS

prompt: panick attack!Draco and harry to the rescue

Circles

Harry hurriedly cut the phone call he was on, stuffing his phone back in his pocket and fetching his keys, cursing at the quarters that fell out when he took out the keys.

He kicked open the door with a light kick because of his hands full and walked into towards the living room and dropping all his files and bag over the piled-up things already there on the table and thereafter finally decided to go into the bedroom only he hadn't expected to walk into what he actually walked into. He walked rapidly towards the bed and hugged the shaking man.

" shush- Draco- love, I'm here- I'm here now " Harry rubbed his back while Draco still kept shaking under his hold.

Harry kissed the top of his head as he heard his whimpers and reassured Draco over and over again that he was finally here and everything is alright. This was his 5th panic attack after Harry had returned from St. Mungo's after a month of being in the facility due to the coma he was in. It was understandable how Draco was scared each time Harry would leave and sometimes without telling him so Draco wouldn't worry but it pained Harry each time he walked into a shaking Draco. He wasn't always like this, nor did he ever have frequent attacks but ever since the last case Harry did and almost died at the scene if it wasn't for the rest of the team and his remote chances of surviving back then had taken a toll on Draco. He was told too many times that Harry's chances of waking up from the coma were very slim and his injuries were rather deadly but it only hit Draco more during the time Harry was having fits while waking up from it and Draco assumed that he was never going to see him again and that was the first attack. Ever since Harry had returned Draco had been so much better but with quitting his job and giving out new applications, Harry had to leave Draco alone sometimes, and someday's Draco goes absolutely fine without it but someday's like today Draco winds himself up in too many worries and the deadliest possibilities that he ends up having another attack and while normally Harry always comes just in time and reassures him, Harry still remains afraid and worried of Draco a lot. He worries a lot if this was what the rest of the coming years would look like.

" Draco" Harry calls him, cupping his face to force him to look at Harry " babe, listen- look at me- I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere, alright" harry reassures. Draco tries to nod but he could still feel himself constricting too much.

" Look at me- just keep looking at me- I'm here and I'm never leaving you alright- ever, okay- Can you count for me, just till 5, can you do that ?" Harry asked.

Draco nodded and stuttered out the numbers yet Harry knew it didn't help.

" Love- okay Tell me your favorite colour" Harry asks again

" Emerald " Draco replied, his voice soothing by just a fraction.

" And where do you see them the most ?" Harry asks, his hands moving into intertwine with that of Draco to affirm him of a comforting physical touch.

" Your eyes" Draco replied. Harry felt it in his hands when Draco's shaking lessened little by little.

" You like my eyes ?" Harry asked

Draco nodded and Harry smiled " I love your eyes too- You know the clouds outside reminded me of your eyes today, then I thought about you and then I thought about how much I love you- do you know how much I love you? More stars love the moon, or the sun does the moon or more than infinity- I love you so much- much more than anything in the world, more than anything in the universe "

Draco tried to smile and Harry took it as a good sign and pressed his forehead against Draco's and with his intertwined fingers, he drew circles on his thighs to distract him.

" You like circles- right ?"

Harry could feel him nod.

" Draw circles with me," Harry asked, and then Draco too with his intertwined hands drew circles over his own thighs. A moment or two later, Harry's eyes danced over his exposed wrist and he pulled his sleeve getting an idea and exposed the tattoo he got of Draco's Patronus, a doe and with Draco's fingers and traced it and found instantly how his breathing turned normal moment by moment as they kept tracing the tattoo on his wrist and eventually with Harry's added assurances Draco's faltered breathing came to normal and Harry kissed his cheek when it did so.

" How do you feel now?"

"Better" Draco nodded but neither of them moved away, their foreheads still pressed together and hands still tracing over Harry's tattoo.

" I really love you Draco" Harry assured him once again.

" I know" Draco's voice broke as he said so and Harry immediately created space to look at Draco.

"I'm never leaving you alone" Harry confirmed

"I want you to- I can't spend the rest of my life having attacks every time you go out- I don't want you to be worried every single time you walk into the bedroom and find me like this- I wish you would stop worrying about me" Harry could see it in his face how hurt Draco was and it pained him to see Draco like this and he just wishes he could take his pain but he didn't know-how.

" But I worry about you, just like you do for me" Harry assured

"But you don't end up like me- I want to be fine-"

" You are fine, love, you are. You almost lost me and I would never know how it feels, okay- It's okay what you feel and how you feel and there's nothing wrong- stop worrying about how unnecessary you feel or how stupid it seems to you- If I had almost lost you- I can't even think of anything after that- I would've never been able to survive, but you did- You are so strong Draco- even when you think you're not, You are. You are strong, beautiful, and gorgeous and the fact that I put you through this hurts me so much but I can't take it back, I wish I could but I can't and I wish I could just do something to make it all go away but I can't except I can promise you that I will always love you, even in the afterlife " Harry painfully told him and it was true, Harry could never survive in a world without Draco, to even think of a life without Draco scared let alone see he almost dying, Harry would've lost his sanity but he knew it that there was nowhere he would ever rather be but with Draco.

Draco couldn't say anything even if he wanted to, he could have said so many things but nothing even made sense nor did he even know what to say except that he knew he was the luckiest man alive.

" I love you Harry- don't ever leave me" Draco pleaded.

Harry smiled at him and promised him " Never" and even if he worried someday's about Draco, he kept his promise.

This request is so old that I had even forgotten this existed. Nevertheless I hope you liked it 

REQUESTS OPEN/PREVIOUS FICS/MICROFICS

Keep my heart

I wondered if I shouldve told you all thatI I couldn't, the words that were on my lips but never dared to leave. I wondered if you'd had stayed to hold my hand a little longer if I had told you that you feel like the sun to me, if I had told you that you feel like my favourite sweater I don't ever want to throw, if I had told you that you felt like that first snitch I caught pasted in my memories so vividly, if I had told you that you feel like the river I had never been to but always felt like home, if I had told you that you felt like the track I'd listen to without ever getting bored or the music that I'd always dance to even when my legs stop working, if I had told you that being with you felt like going to the end of the world just to breath because you helped me breath when the rest of the world wouldn't let me breath, if I had told you that being with you felt like floating in a galaxy full of stars that Only I had known, if I had told you that being with you felt like the simplest of Infinities come true. I wondered if you'd had stayed if I had told you that your silver eyes shone brighter than the moon in the dark night, I wondered if you'd had stayed if I had given you my heart and never asked for it back, I wonder if you'd had stayed if I told you that I want to grow old with you, that I want to spend the rest of my life with you, that I want to share all the rest of my dances with you, that you can have my heart and keep it with yours so we're together forever.

I wonder if you'd had stayed if I had stopped you. I wondered if you'd had stayed.

I'm so sorry for running so short on updates, I've been working on something new and big, so my updates would remain microfics for a few more days despite the fact that I'm trying to work on a new chapter. I apologise for the less frequent updates from me, I'm sincerely sorry.

REQUESTS OPEN/ PREVIOUS FICS/ MICROFICS

The Butterfly Effect 

- Part 5 

Harry relaxed back in his chair, his finger playing the forward button then replay button over and over again trying to find a clue, any clue but it was all just a video, nothing more. The videos played on loop on the projector, questions after questions being asked and none met with an actual answer. It frustrated him, this entire case did but he was waiting for that one calling that hadn’t made it to him yet. He knew there was something to the case that he was missing or something that was kept concealed but days after trying to find out, he had reached nowhere, a dead end if he must say so. 

So he replayed the video like he had done several times, this time focusing on Draco’s facial expression and somewhere along the way pitying him for the horrid condition he must be in. Azkaban wasn’t people’s favorite place to be in and he was there for a crime Harry was convinced he didn’t commit. 

“ Killers don’t always use weapon, murder isn’t always murder and death isn’t always met. I did not kill Ben Codsworth, someone did and that’s not me ”

He stopped the video right at that second, feeling too exhausted to go on, just looking at the shade of pale screen and his expressions that looked defeated, like he lost at something, maybe convincing that he was infact innocent, shame Harry didn’t know, yet.  

“ What am I not able to find?” Harry whispered in the air then picked up the file and stared at Draco’s face. Looking between the Draco on the screen and on the file seemed like two entirely different people, different yet alike at all time. It was weird how the same person could look so different in such a small span of time, it felt so unreal but it was more real than everything had ever been. It was weird to think of how Draco might’ve possibly thought that he was going to be there only for a short span of time, a couple of days until he would’ve been found innocent like it should’ve gone but little had he seen this coming, little would he had thought about wasting his youth in prison and above that everyone being convinced that he was the murderer, it was like the world was convinced he was a murderer and nobody wanted to hear his story but Harry. It was like living in a tin box, with the same grey painted walls everywhere with the opaqueness of the world convincing that there was no world outside those 4 walls, outside that cruelty.  

Harry stared at the screen for a long time, then picture of Draco in his hand wondering what move should be his next, who to go to, who to believe until he heard the door knob twisting and he immediately unplugged the projector and hastily put the picture in a file. 

“ Harry “ the door opened and in the shadow cast Ginny’s silhouette.

“ yeah ?” Harry asked putting his case stuff away. 

“ Dinner ?” She asked 

“ i’ll be right out “ Harry answered. Ginny nodded and left. He cleared up the mess he made, putting the videos back in the bag along with the files and just as he was about to walk out, he had a good look of the room, his thoughts still running in wonderment. 

Within a few minutes he was at the table and listening to Ginny and filling her in about the new case he received at the same time yet keeping the name confidential. 

“ Seems like some case” Ginny commented 

“ Yeah- I constantly feel like there’s something i’m not seeing. There are just too many loopholes” Harry explained 

“ Of course there are, if how you’re saying this person didn’t kill him, then somebody else did who definitely had a problem with the person who’s in prison, its like he’s being framed” Ginny stated “ Wow- this fish isn’t as boneless as it was supposed to be “ she added but all Harry thought of how Draco could possibly be framed, who would do it?

__________________________________

Harry was running out of people to reach out to, anyone he possibly could’ve thought of was either dead, disappeared, had lost touch, or currently low in existence as he would like to put it. He was entirely frustrated as he walked into his office and was met with John sitting over his chair. Good thinking of Harry to put the question pin board away last night. 

“ Hello, Harry “ John greeted. Even the small hello seemed to have caused a bubble of blood to rise inside of him. 

“ Hello, John. I think you might be invading my personal space- well office that is” Harry raised his eyebrows as he set his bag he bought over the table and walked behind to sit in his chair. 

The audacity John had to keep his legs over Harry’s table but then again John wasn’t the best guy. 

“ My office Harry- I gave you this office if you can recall- but- I can understand. I’m only here to know your progress on the case, don’t you think that perhaps the case have been dragged on for a little longer than you normally do it, say a week or two more than you would have normally finished the case in ?” John asked with his tone laced with challenge and suspicion. 

Harry huffed then leaned forward over the table, pouring a glass of water for himself “ I would say you are not wrong. The case have been dragged on for longer than usual- almost a week over than i’d normally do it but you see the case isn’t as simple as I thought it was. I have to make sure that there is absolutely nothing which could be questioned later in any inquiry. I want to make sure that Draco Malfoy stays put in there and for that I need to do an intensive study over the files and people who might think he’s innocent “ Harry wished that a door to hell would open up underneath his chair and drag him downright because right now he hated himself more than he hated John for what he said and how he said with a smirk plastered over his face. 

John looked at Harry impressively “ Well- I did not expect you to get so involved but I like your spirit- its as I’d like to put it very impressive. Finally thinking like a true auror “ He got up from the chair and was ready to leave, Harry himself being thankful for that but in the last moment John turned around and looked at Harry in a way he couldn’t himself explain, it was some sort of an unambiguous look that seemed as if John was looking through him and into his soul. Harry didn’t like that look, it left him mildly disturbed. 

And he left the office. Harry soon locked it after him and took out the question board from beneath his table and pinned another post. 

“ Pansy Parkinson? ” 

“ Narcissa Malfoy ?” 

And added a few more question marks after John’s name. 

Thinking upon the conversation he had with Theodore a couple of days ago, Harry couldn’t help but note down everything he could remember from the conversation on a piece of paper and stuck it to the pinboard as well. 

“ The botanist farm “ Harry frowned. How come it was never mentioned before that the botanist farm where Ben worked even existed? That led him to Ben’s investigatory file and doing his background search but reading lines over lines he realised it wasn’t mentioned anywhere when Ben was away for almost an year to the Botanist farm to study. Maybe it could be a start but Harry was afraid that going to find out about that Botanist farm would again be a dead end and if not more so a useless one, what possibly could he even get from there ? Or was it even really connected to the case as such which led him to another thing as why didn’t that come up in any inquiries with Draco about Ben’s disappearance especially about the farm for a while even though it was clear that Draco knew Ben the best. 

Harry was still reading through file hastily when suddenly his eyes laid upon the word Marital status, which was scratched several times then left blank. Harry picked up that piece of paper and put it before the table lamp trying to find the words beneath the ink. He bought his specks closer to his eyes, squinting and underneath the scraping was just one to two letter he could see at the end “ an ” and after that was another scratch. Clearly someone didn’t want anyone to know Ben’s marital status. Harry noted it down and left it over the table to later figure out what it was while he tried running around the office library to find a file on Pansy Parkinson, if that even existed. Apparently not and the reason was clear, despite being a hefty supporter of Voldemort during the second war, she was never really put behind bars and only the people who were put behind bars in Azkaban were the ones who had a file and since Pansy was only presented in the court for a short while and found guilty she was free. If Harry really thinks upon it he can recall sitting in the winzegamot while Pansy’s hearing was in process, she was very nervous and she kept bouncing her leg up and down whilst she was sitting on the chair. It was probably the first time he had ever even seen her that nervous but when your life changing sentence is a minute away, you would be scared. He can’t remember what happened next, perhaps he never really could paid attention or he was sent out of there for something and only returned during the final statement hour, the rest was just a fast blur. 

“ Harry-” Someone called from behind him and he turned around to notice the fellow he works with but had hardly ever been keen enough to remember his name. Harry assumed it started with a M. 

“ How are you doing ?” he asked. Harry smiled at him, answering his question vaguely. 

“ Been noticing you coming here a lot “ He smiled. 

“ Working on some cold sort of case- unfortunately the evidences are very less-” 

“ You’re looking here for evidence’s? Thought you’d know better than trying find them here, its a complete waste- John keeps the actual evidences- Why don’t you ask him ?” He asked frowning. 

“ Can’t ” Harry muttered to himself then gave him a fake smile “ I’ll try that, Thanks” 

And Harry left after that, going back to his office and waiting for the the hole of hell to open up under his chair. 

He was again running in his nuisance of unavailable hints, even thinking of giving up the case but the innocence in Draco’s face called him towards himself. Harry thought of it all and at the end he realised that he was afraid of knowing why he wanted to free Draco. He thought earlier that maybe it was all for a cause, or a sense to prove that innocent people are put into Azkaban without consent but now maybe it was more than that, maybe it always had been, he still doesn’t know why he was so attached to the case, all he knew that this wasn’t just any framed up case, it was so much more than that but if Harry was sure of one thing was that Draco could not have been a murderer.

The annoying clock on his table ticked louder than his thoughts he decided he needed at least something, he couldn’t waste his days away. If he needed to solve the case he needed to know everything about Draco’s life, his past life, his life in general away from school, his family, his relationship with Ben, he needed to know everything to find answers.

And so despite low chances, he was stirring in the pensieve every memory he ever held of Draco. Memories after memories transformed from one to another, some foul and unpleasant to some completely unnecessary but it was enough to prove that Harry knew absolutely nothing of Draco, absolutely nothing. He doesn’t want to blame his own self but it was true that he never really gave himself a chance to take the veil of mask off Draco’s face and look behind it. All the memories he had of Draco from 6th year now were more than just memories, his face was always a cry for help and it was unfathomable how Harry looked past all that and tried to look for suspicious things. He wonders what would have happened if he had ever gave him a chance to prove himself or What would had happened if for once he would had risen from more than just himself and trying to make plans to defeat Voldemort and had lurked a thought over Draco, what would’ve happened ?

Harry was on the last of the memories, the one from the day Dumbledore was on the porch after they had came back to the astronomy tower and Draco was standing with his wand pointed at Dumbledore. Harry walked nearer to Draco and looked at the helplessness in his face, the cry in his eyes, the tremor of his lips. He was hopeless, helpless and broken even back then, more then than ever. He was too young for someone to know what pain was but looking at Draco in his memory with his wand held in his trembling hands Harry felt pity and a strange whim of sadness. He stood right before Draco as he cried to Dumbledore and looked through his eyes but they were dim, closed down, shut off from him because Harry never really had tried to look beyond it but even then he knew it, he knew that he could be anything but a murderer.  

“ you couldn’t had done it ” Harry whispered and pulled out of the memory. He pushed the pensieve away a little and let out a long harsh breath. It had been too overwhelming to watch all the memories more than he could’ve thought of. It had left him estranged and guilty of a lot of things but they were just kids weren’t they. Kids who made too many mistakes and had came too far to apologize for them. 

Harry startled as soon as the door opened behind him and then shut off by whoever entered. He turned around and noticed Ron had came in and was watching his question pin board he had created.

“ You’re still here- thought you would’ve packed your stuff away” Ron commented 

Harry frowned looking at the ticking clock on his table “ Its just 4″ 

“ Yeah but the dinner is at 6 “ Ron shook his head making a point. 

“ What dinner ?” Harry asked confused. 

“ Dinner, At my place. Remember Hermione is hosting our usual dinners- something for the wedding to be discussed. Seriously how did you forget, I just told you yesterday while leaving work” Ron frowned. 

It struck him then, yesterday while leaving work Ron had said something about the dinner but his mind was making plans to cross by the bakery to check Boyce was there, he wasn’t. 

“ Yeah- must’ve slipped my mind- I’ll pack “ Harry retaliated. 

Ron sighed then opened the door to walk out of the door “ I’ll see you at dinner then- oh and try not to bring up the case in between with Hermione” 

Harry nodded and Ron left. 

____________________________________

In Harry’s opinion the dinner was going pleasantly but in everyone else’s opinion, the dinner was everything but fine. The entire dinner Harry kept playing with his fork more than listening and when called out over it, he responded with ‘he’s not that hungry’ and it wasn’t even just that, when he was asked about the wedding preparations he was only half a mind present there and ended up being silent which for the sake Ron answered. Harry was very disturbed, dreaming in his own world, he didn’t like it but he was always thinking of ways to pin any clue or a hint in his head for the case and currently in dinner he was thinking of any memories he might’ve missed about Draco while watching the memories in pensieve but he couldn’t pin any memory he might’ve forgotten. 

But lost in his world, Ron finally lost his mind and dragged Harry into the balcony. 

“ What is up with you ?” Ron almost yelled. 

“ What ?” Harry questioned back confused.

“ You know what “ Ron replied crossing his arms in his front. 

“ Nothing is up Ron, I’m good” Harry shook his head for emphasis. 

“ You’re far from good Harry, don’t you see you’re losing your mind over that guy who for all you might actually be the murderer and I know you have faith in him and you believe he’s innocent and everything and he might be but Harry you have a wedding coming up, you have your friends and family here and you are being ignorant of them. I don’t know why this case is so important to you or if this have anything to do with your life or people or if its even just about justice but what you’re doing here and everywhere else except your office isn’t valid. You can’t ignore us, your fiance, the rest of the world for that one guy” Ron scolded. With the way he scolded him off Harry knew that it must’ve been something serious or he must’ve done something very wrong, he might even be entirely wrong for all he knew but if there was anything Harry knew about Ron was that if he was yelling at him or if he was calling Harry out on his shit then he had definitely not been a good friend.  

Harry sighed then nodded “ I- I am sorry, I didn’t realize I was being such a terrible friend-” 

“ Its not about being a terrible friend- it- its just that you’ve been so lost and all of us wish that you were just a little bit present” Ron admitted. 

Harry looked at Ron apologetically “I know- I wish I knew why this meant so much to me but I don’t and I know you think I do but I don’t- You know what- you are right, I’ve been very inconsiderate about everything even you guys and you people who mean the world to me- I’ll make it upto you all I promise I will, starting right now. I’ll run down and i’ll bring us guys some good cake and we’ll celebrate, alright” 

Ron huffed then nodded “ Do you want me to go along with you ?” 

“ I’ll be fine “ Harry replied patting his back and left the flat to run down to the nearest bakery but unfortunately the nearest bakery was closed, so was the other, then the other and the next one until he decided to go to Boyce’s bakery at his last resort which was fortunately open and about to be closed. He ran through the door, reaching for air and made it to the counter with little breath running into his system. 

“ I need- “ 

“ You again- Let me stop you- I know why you’re here, I knew it all along but its- it just didn’t make sense but nobody comes as often as you do and I can see you clearly have a reason with all your absurd questions ” Boyce cut him off. 

“ Oh? “ Harry asked in a single syllable. 

“ I know you who you need"  

“ Its Pansy, isn’t it ?” 

PART 1 TO 4 

I’m so so so incredibly sorry for anyone who was actually waiting for this update but a lot of factors contributed to this very specific late update and also as noticed I’ve started december fluff fest, I’ve barely been able to juggle with writing that, updating and my own life as well. 

I’d also apologize for this one being a shitty chapter, I barely had any motivation and headspace to think through it, clearly I do now. Again, Incredibly sorry. I’ll try to update sooner this time. Much Love. 

MASTERLIST/ REQUESTS OPEN 

5,6,19 in one single fic of draco being in azkaban

The Butterfly Effect

It lacks my skill to make it into a one shot and I apologize for it. This will be continued in parts. 

Dialogue Prompts - 5 - “ Why are you doing that ?” “Doing what ?” “ Treating me like a person” //6. “Sometimes memories are the worst form of torture” // 19. “ I lo–” “ No, please.. Don’t say that. You love her/him, not me” 

Cold stirred inside the cell, a heavy cloud of mist settling in and the grey walls screeched as he scratched another day over the walls. Day 150. He dropped the stone over the ground making sure to make no noise but the rustling of the door awakened the beast and it crawled towards him. He shimmied back into the corner until no corner was left to fit into and he whimpered begging the mercy from the beast to let him go but what a deaf beast would know.

The beast took its bite, sucked his memory and left over the ground was a filled with tears Draco Malfoy waiting for the numbness to settle in. His life was becoming more meaningless than it ever had been, only now, he didn’t had anything more left to offer.

Keep reading

All Too Well

This fic is written in collaboration by @sorry-i-ship-drarry and @drarrywords on an anon request

~ Part one available here!

Part Two (8.2k words)

TW ⚠️- mild angst

“When we talk about love, we say falling in love, we never say rising in love because perhaps love isn’t about rising at all. Because maybe when you fall in love, you realise there’s so many miles to fall in and you don’t know how much more you can fall, It’s like an endless myriad and you’re scared to see its depth because you know it can kill you. Maybe that’s why we fear love, maybe that’s why some of us don’t want to fall in love but those who do, do they ever come back once they’ve reached the end or do they remain waiting for the one they fell for to take them back up or do they remain stuck there forever until the they are left with nothing but the bones of a skeleton? Or is it so that they come back and they wait for the void to fill in?”

It was easier to pretend it didn’t ache him anymore than it did on the night Draco first confessed that he needed to move away. It worked very well as he liked to put it with any random stranger he’d start talking to because he didn’t want to sound like an insane clingy boyfriend who could not be away for so long but it did hurt when he’d stay up by the phone waiting for him to call like he promised he would. He remembers the day very vividly in his head when he had said that they should perhaps do long distance relationship because he didn’t want to end whatever it was because it was entirely too good to end, because they made more sense to Draco than anything ever had in his entire life and he wasn’t willing to give up trying to make it work and despite that Harry agreed, he knew his fears called him home very often. 

He stays by the dialler, waiting for it to ring back like he had promised he would but it had been 45 minutes and Harry was still waiting by the phone reading the new article in the witch weekly on the new advanced broom and all that there is to know of it, he might’ve even read the article 3 more times because he lost track a few times until he was finally done reading the article and turned his head to look at the watch on his wrist and he sighed. He flipped the page reading another headline about the new furniture that was too comfortable for the elderly when the phone suddenly rang and he immediately picked up. 

“On a scale of 1 to 10, how mad are you at me for keeping you on hold for 55 minutes and 7 seconds ?” He asked from the other end and with every word his shuffling deceased as if he was shutting everything off so he could just be with Harry. 

Harry’s face dissolved into a small smile as he was finally able to hear his voice and all that he previously thought of this whole thing evaporated in thin air “How about I say a 3 to 4-ish ?” 

“Then I would say that if I were there I’d fix it 3 to 4-ish times to make it up to you” the smirk was entirely too clear in his voice and Harry blushed even though he knew his boyfriend couldn’t see him. 

Then came a sigh “I’m sorry- I know its all hard but I try my best to make time for you as much as possible” 

Harry’s heart filled with guilt doodling on the corner of the magazine on his lap “ I understand- you don’t have to be sorry for anything, I’m proud of what you’re doing there and you know your happiness is my happiness” 

“But it still doesn’t give me an excuse-”  a breath “I wish it all were easier or I was there to just be with you for just one night or just one day- maybe just an hour just so I could be there with you” 

Harry smiled to himself tugging the phone closer to his ear “It’s okay- Maybe we will meet soon and when you do come back, we’ll have the best time” 

There was pause too long as if he was contemplating something but was still there because his breathing could still be heard very vividly and then he said “Maybe we will meet soon ” 

Harry smiled again and then forgot all about the distance and finally asked how his day was and Draco went to town mimicking and imitating a few of the people who worked under him and then exhaustingly went on about how stupid those people were and Harry but all laughed at most of it. Draco loved his laugh, as he always did. 

✵•. ✵°✵.｡.✰.｡. ✵°✵.•✵

Days turned into a couple of weeks and their calls became so much more frequent than they had been before, like there was an urgent need to hear others' voices as if, if they didn't, their universe would implode. Some days they talked so much that one day Harry almost got threatened by his boss to look after the pets or he’ll lose his job and despite the fact that he did end up terminating the call, they called each other again an hour later just because they couldn’t end it with an ‘I Love You’. Harry got overtime as obvious.

“ So yeah-you were saying- sorry that stupid menace of my cat thought ruining the pillow again would be an entire dream- you were saying-talking about time” Harry sighed 

“Yeah- I love Bella though. Anyways I was talking about how time is a social construct. We perceive it as a motion through space, if motion ceases, time ceases as well. That’s why we call a photograph a snapshot in time, isn’t it- because that moment gets locked forever not just in photographs but in time as well- are you still there?” Draco interrupted himself in between fearing that Harry’s line got cut off again like a few minutes before and Draco would keep on rambling to himself in the air. 

“I’m here” Harry smiled “ What have you been reading ?” 

“Just some muggle stuff- hearing a bunch of nerds talking in the office too” 

“Oh nerds you say-” Harry chuckled

“Of course- some of them are, all they do is talk about science facts that are entirely out of point but mind blowing-” There was a pause too long when he discovered why Harry had started laughing in the background “I heard myself” He grumbled 

Harry kept laughing until Draco threatened that he would find a way to pull his ears during one of these phone calls from such a distance apart if he didn’t stop laughing.

“-I think it's adorable” Harry cut him off. Draco immediately stopped with his false threats and went too silent. 

“I also think you sound cute when you just ramble on about this science stuff” Harry added smiling. 

“you’re bluffing” Draco mumbled

“Oh so if I am complimenting you, its bluffing” Harry teased 

“Of course it is, nobody sounds cute” Draco replied 

“But you do,” Harry complimented again. 

There was a pause long enough for Harry to know that Draco was blushing doodling over his leg like normally does while he is blushing and doesn’t know how to take a compliment. 

“I love you” Harry chuckled 

Draco groaned on the other side as if he was done with Harry but in an adorning way “I love you too” 

And Harry laughed again. 

✵•. ✵°✵.｡.✰.｡. ✵°✵.•✵

There were times when Draco got too busy that he would send Harry flowers next morning to make up for not having called him the night before or not having called enough, Harry loved those gestures even if it meant that he was bribing or spoiling him.

“You didn’t have to send those flowers” Harry had tried to hide his smile one of those mornings when Draco was getting ready while they were still on the call. 

“Are you kidding, I would’ve stood before your door with a radio in my hand and played your favourite song to make it up to you” Draco chuckled, then immediately swore because he stubbed his toe against the nearest stool. 

“You don’t always have to make it upto me, you know, It's not like you’re doing unforgivable deeds” Harry giggled, then poured himself a cup of coffee, still smiling about the flowers. 

“But I feel bad, I already feel bad that i’m not there with you” Draco huffed 

“I do feel bad too but I don’t mind if one night you’re busy looking after work, as your amazing boyfriend I understand it very well” Harry chuckled 

“Oh- I see how it is, I send the flowers and now you’re the amazing boyfriend- that works very well Harry Potter,” he knew Draco was grinning looking at the phone.  

“Of course I’m the most amazing boyfriend you’ll have, dearest Draco Malfoy” Harry heard him laugh on the other side and he laughed so himself. There was nothing he knew he wanted to change that morning. 

That morning when they talked a little more before Draco had to absolutely leave, he ended the call with “You really are the best boyfriend I could ever have Harry” 

Harry smiled and pressed the phone closer to his mouth and pressed a soft kiss and waited awkwardly until Draco returned his kiss over the 6884.9 mile distance in a single second.  

“I love you” 

“I love you more” 

“You’ll never win” 

“It's worth a try” 

And then he absolutely had to go. Harry couldn’t stop smiling the entire day. 

✵•. ✵°✵.｡.✰.｡. ✵°✵.•✵

 Harry’s friends grumbled about Harry having more of a friendship with his cell, or his phone back home than he had with his friend but he knew his friends were just too lovely people to make it serious and Harry was grateful for his friends who despite the jokes understood his absence. He would, given the particular time, say that his relationship was going well even if the long distance was hard. Yes, there was definitely less physical relationship and less of seeing each other but hearing each other's voice until they slept was the only heaven they wanted to be sent to or hearing each other rant about the day was the medicine and not to forget the when they got off on the call was the best hell they confessed they’d ever be to. 

It was all until his heaven upgraded itself, when one day Harry had been home and was counting his hours before he could call Draco when his doorbell rang and assuming it was his Chinese takeout, he opened the door with his wallet in his hand, counting money without looking up “Should be 5.50 right?”

“Please, I’m way more than a 5.50 ” 

Harry immediately looked up and squealed as soon as he did, finding Draco leaning against the frame of the door with his bags in his hands and the infamous playful smile he always had on that made Harry’s heart do backflips. He threw himself at Draco, tumbling him backwards and wrapping his legs around his waist, nuzzling his face into his neck crying with happy tears. 

“Shush- I’m here” Draco chuckled while walking inside Harry’s apartment, his bags with a wandless magic following behind him and Harry still clinging onto his torso like a koala bear. 

“I can’t believe it-Why didn’t you tell me?” Harry asked distancing his face from Draco’s so he could look at him while his hand circled behind his neck and an excited smile plastered on his face. 

“It wouldn’t have been a surprise then would it?” Draco raised an eyebrow at him with his well known smirk curved at his lips. 

Harry leant down laughing lightly pressing his lips over Draco’s in urgency “You’re lucky I love you” 

“I am lucky that you love me” Draco muttered against his lips and pulled him closer if it was any more possible by wrapping his hands around Harry’s torso. They kissed in the delayed intimacy or the much awaited urgency to be with each other that they had been storing for almost 6 months and pouring whatever they had been depriving themselves off from all that time that they been talking over the call and wanting nothing more to kiss those lips that were uttering words or to touch that body that had been way too far until this moment when they forgot everything including Draco’s bag that thumped down over the ground, Harry’s Chinese take out order, time itself. That night they devoured the sins written in the bible and committed themselves to each other's bodies with the moans that lingered in the air and panting breaths until their air ran out and they did it all over again till the night faded into the next morning. 

Harry woke up to the feeling of arms wrapped loosely wrapped around his body, that he was afraid he had forgotten feeling off and lips pressed to his neck and he smiled in the lost time and turned to a half asleep figure beside him that looked like an angel had itself come down to earth and be with Harry. 

“Morning angel” Harry laughed softly, pushing Draco’s hair off his face and he blushed, wrapping his arms more tightly around his waist pulling him closer. 

“I’m an angel now?” Draco asked sheepishly 

“Are you not?” Harry asked, finding his lover's hand under the sheets and intertwining it in his own fingers. 

“I am an angel” 

Harry chuckled and pressed soft kisses over Draco’s eyes, his nose, his cheeks, his forehead, his lips. 

Draco opened his eyes, grinning and bought their intertwined fingers closer to his lips and kissed Harry’s knuckles softly “I missed this” 

Harry smiled contagiously at him “How are you even real?” he found himself asking. 

“How is any of this real?” he questioned back and in an unanswered question kissed softly over his cheeks and they repeated the events from the previous night all over again because once, twice, thrice or making love even a thousand times wasn’t enough when they were with each other. 

✵•. ✵°✵.｡.✰.｡. ✵°✵.•✵

“I have to meet my friends tonight,I hope that’s fine ?” Draco said after a while their naked bodies pressed closely against one another.

“Tonight?” Harry asked, then found himself in soft chuckled “You don’t need my permission Draco” 

“It's not that I need your permission, It's that I want you to know where I am, ” Draco smiled. 

Harry wasn’t so sure that morning if he was human enough or if he even had enough heart to love this amazing human being who laid beside him. 

“Then I know exactly where you would be, right here” Harry pointed his heart “always” 

Draco touched Harry’s chest right over his heart and smiled “always” 

It was later that evening when Draco was getting ready and Harry was watching him with his cat in his lap,

“Don’t you think you’re looking a little too hot for someone who’s going out with his friends while leaving his boyfriend alone at home” Harry teased. 

“Mon amour, are you implying I don’t always look hot?” Draco raised his eyebrows at Harry while applying perfume over his neck.

Bella ran from his lap as she normally did and Harry walked up to stand behind Draco “You always look hot my love, hot enough for me to even function” 

“Someone is wanting to get into someone’s pants, now isn’t it?” Draco raised an eyebrow at Harry in the mirror. 

Harry bit his lip, surrounding his arms around Draco’s torso so he could reach behind his ear and kiss there softly “And is that a problem? It's not my fault that you look like an absolute feast, one I can devour” 

Instead of giving in Draco laughed out snorting “Have you been trying to learn the art of seduction?” 

Harry deadpanned looked at him in the mirror, then became thoroughly offended “You know now that I think of it, you’re better 6884.9 miles apart from me” 

Harry had almost turned to go back into bed, pouting that is, when Draco whipped him around and wrapped his arms around Harry’s waist “Tell me that isn’t true” 

Harry looked in his eyes, and he softened up immediately “It can never be true, Draco, you know it” 

“Good, because in 6884.9 miles apart I can’t do this” and he picked up Harry and took him to bed, kissing him until they were sloppily moaning in the secrecy behind the curtained windows. 

“I need to go” Draco mumbled against his lips. 

“I’m not stopping you” Harry replied while his legs remained wrapped around Draco’s torso. 

Draco groaned and resumed kissing him. 

“Seriously, now I'm running late” Draco muttered against his lips. 

“I never stopped you,” Harry replied. 

Draco huffed and finally separated, running a hand down his shirt while Harry lay defenseless over the bed watching him. 

“Don’t look at me like that” Draco slanted his head at Harry. 

“What way ?” Harry asked innocently. 

“Like you can absolutely devour me” Draco bit his lip knowing the longer he would stay there looking at Harry, the more he would run loose on his self control. 

“I’m not looking at you like that,” Harry replied, biting his lip. 

Draco groaned and knelt down to press a firm kiss over Harry’s lips again “Okay, now I really need to go” 

Harry groaned “fine” and Draco finally resumed dressing up to go for his dinner. 

✵•. ✵°✵.｡.✰.｡. ✵°✵.•✵

 He knew he should not have done it, he knew it was unethical and he knew it was crossing some boundaries but he did it anyway. He hated himself for it but he couldn’t stop himself, when Bella, in her unusual behaviour ran like a crazy maniac tossing things aside, she managed to toss Draco’s bag aside and that was the moment Harry wished the time had stopped but it didn’t, instead time flew more rapidly in those 3 minutes when Harry was keeping Draco’s things in his bag so that nothing was left behind when he noticed the box of watch Harry gave him on their anniversary. He couldn’t stop his hands, whether it was out of mere curiosity or whether it was something else that called to him that felt wrong, he opened the box and there rested was the watch he gifted him with “we can have it all” inscription and the omamori charm he bought in Japan for Draco, right next to it. His heart sank in his chest as he remembered the words from the night of their anniversary and how he said he always kept the omamori charm with him everywhere he went and yet here it was, the omamori charm, tucked like a baby in his bag. Harry knew Draco wore that watch everywhere, everyday of his life because he says it all the time that he does, he’s even seen him wearing it in multiple pictures but he couldn’t understand why, today of all days the watch remained here, resting safely in this box in his hands. He hated himself for thinking over it, he hated it but he couldn’t help but wonder if Draco did it purposefully. 

“He wouldn’t do that” Harry whispered to himself without realising he had said it out loud. He was sure it had just been a mistake, that he must’ve accidentally forgotten to wear the watch. It was quite possible, after all Draco left in a hurry since he was late because of Harry. And so he kept the watch back inside the box and busied himself with his own things. 

It was starting to get late in the night, time almost approaching midnight and Harry was now starting to worry about Draco. Harry wasn’t such a worrisome boyfriend or not even the one who would want to be clingy or want to know every hour of every day where Draco was; his need to know where Draco was and how he was doing came in the basic duties of being his boyfriend. Maybe it was all also because he hadn’t seen him in months and he selfishly wanted Draco to himself but he would never say it out loud, not even to himself but right now as he waited over the couch while Bella slept in his arms, he looked at the wall clock often waiting for Draco to return in time. 

It was another hour or more later when his heart had started fearing everything, it was already 2 in the night and he had no whereabouts of where Draco was. He hadn’t even responded to Harry’s call or dropped a text or even heard his voicemail. His whereabouts ran little scarce and Harry didn’t want to be that guy who called Draco’s friend to just ask about him. This was unlike Draco, he was never this late, ever, he used to usually come back home before midnight and the last which would be on rare occasions would be 1 a.m. but it had already crossed 2 and this had never happened in all the time they had been together. He walked fastly inside his apartment wishing anytime the door would open and Draco would just come inside. Harry just needed him to be home soon, sooner than soon even. 

And just like that another hour went by and by now Harry was getting more angry than upset and he was on the verge of calling people when the door finally opened and Harry instantly rushed towards the door. 

“Where have you been ?” Harry asked impatiently. 

“Oh- Hi baby” Draco dragged on. 

Harry scrunched his face, then inclined towards Draco to get a sniff of him “You’re drunk” 

“I’m not” He hiccuped. He might’ve wanted to prove that he wasn’t drunk by walking in a straight line but instead he tripped over his own feet and would’ve been on the ground if it wasn’t for Harry. 

Harry sighed “I can’t believe you’re drunk” 

“I’m not- drunk” Draco hiccuped again. 

Harry huffed out impatiently and even though he wanted to give Draco a piece of his mind but taking Draco’s condition in consideration he knew it wasn’t the best decision to make and decided that it was best to put it off on hold and maybe talk about it next morning. He took Draco in his arms carefully bridal style because Draco was already nodding off to even look straight and besides Harry was afraid that the moment he’d leave him, he’d collapse onto the ground. He walked slowly into the bedroom and laid Draco on the bed and took off his shoes, then his socks, then his coat and lastly the belt so Draco would not be uncomfortable at night. He slowly resumed undressing Draco and dressed him in his own T-shirt and while he tried putting him in pajamas, Draco kept kicking Harry off, so he went against even trying further. He bought a small bucket from the bathroom and kept it on the side of the bed just in case Draco felt sick in the night. It was at that moment, when he was keeping the bucket down on the floor that he noticed a different watch on his wrist. Harry’s head dropped down in exhaustion and sadness all at the same time and without sparing another thought over the different watch, he took it off and kept it over the bedside table. When Harry finally decided to sleep without a thought, all he did was think of the new watch on Draco’s wrist and of how Draco would probably be sick the next morning. 

✵•. ✵°✵.｡.✰.｡. ✵°✵.•✵

It was afternoon when Harry had finally woken up to the noise of someone yelling. As a natural instinct, Harry’s hands wandered off to the other side of the bed to find it empty. He groaned as he stretched and finally got out of the bed to find the source of the noise. 

“No- I clearly said the other way around Mariah” “-No- How many times- I handed you a script for goodness sake-” 

Forgetting the moments from last night, Harry went upto Draco and wrapped his arms from behind, nuzzling his head into the crook of Draco’s neck, who visibly relaxed only a little before another bubble of anger burst out of him. 

“No- Mariah- No. How many times ?Th- I don’t give a damn about what Richard says-” 

“Good morning,”Harry whispered softly. 

Draco turned just a little so he could show Harry that he acknowledged him but the call was too important. 

Sensing Draco’s discomfort, Harry slid his hands back to him, then realising that he had grazed his hand over a piece of cold metal. The other watch from the night before?

Harry stepped away from Draco and found out that he was indeed right, it was the watch from last night. And suddenly the feelings that he pushed away last night in exhaustion, surfaced at the brink, rendering him all but upset. However, he didn’t want to tell Draco that it bothered him, he didn’t want to sound insane, he didn't want to make it a big deal and he definitely didn’t want Draco to get weird about it. He retraced his steps and slowly walked to the bathroom and only when he had come out did he realize Draco was keeping things inside his bag. 

“Going somewhere?” Harry asked. 

Draco sighed and stood up, turning to Harry “I’m really sorry but I have to urgently go back-” 

“Go back? But you’ve only been here for 2 days” Harry complained 

“I know, I know but I really need to look after this one thing” Draco apologetically said, only Harry didn’t seem to be appeased by his apologetic face. 

“Can’t someone else cover for you ?” He asked. 

Draco shook his head “I asked someone to cover up for me but they ended up doing it entirely wrong and now It has to be redone-” 

“Then ask whoever ruined it to redo it” Harry interrupted him. 

“I would if I could. Harry please- I need you to understa-”

“I knew this would happen” Harry muttered to himself, only Draco heard him clear enough. 

“Harry- please, you need to understand my work is important” Draco pleaded. 

“No, Draco, I get it, your work is important, very important but why should I understand? I get to spend numbered days with you after 6 months, hoping that i’d finally get to spend time with  my boyfriend and not on the phone but firstly, you decide to spend the night with your friends which I’m not against but then you return home completely drunk out of your mind while I was worried sick about here the whole time and now you you have to leave- Why should I understand? It's like you weren’t even here the whole time” Harry bellowed.  

Draco closed his eyes momentarily, pinching the bridge of his nose “Listen, you have all the right to be mad- but I really need to go-” 

“Of course you need to go Draco, obviously because apparently everything else is more important to you than me” Harry hadn’t meant to say it out loud, he didn’t intend on but it came out of him before he could even make sense of why he was even angry at him. 

Draco looked taken back suddenly and offended even. His hand unintentionally touched his chest in mocked offense and replied “I can’t believe you’d actually think that. I flew all the way across here for you-” 

“And yet, you spent time with everyone but me” 

“You can’t say that, I spent my entire night with and I obviously didn’t make out with a ghost the entire time” Draco offhandedly replied. 

“Oh- yeah” Harry mockingly laughed “suddenly that makes it all so much more better” 

“I didn’t mean that-” 

“Then what did you mean ? You spent more time with everyone else than you did with me, It's justified that I feel this way” Harry sneered. 

By this time Draco seemed pretty done with Harry, even if he didn’t want to feel that way, he did “You know what Harry, your justification seems stupid. You’re being irrational and over dramatic for no reason. This is so not you, The Harry I love wouldn’t fight with me over me coming home late or returning drunk or going away sooner. The man that I got in a relationship with would understand that It’s important that I leave” Draco disapprovingly responded. 

“I’m being irrational- ha” Harry sarcastically laughed and turned away from Draco “I actually can’t believe you’d say something like that, I actually can’t believe that-” He turned around again in distance to face Draco and responded “Here I’ll give you a justified reason to fight- Why did you lie to me ?” 

“Lie about what ?” Draco asked, completely confused. 

“Lie about you carrying the omamori charm everywhere you go and wearing the watch I gifted you everyday because it seemed otherwise when I found both of them in your bag last night” 

Draco clenched his jaw, shortening the distance between the two, so, he was only a few steps away “Why were you going through my bag ?” 

Harry raised his eyebrows at Draco, shook “You-Out of everything- I didn’t intentionally look in your bag alright, it just fell off and I was keeping things back inside when I saw the box of that watch. It was unintentional but that’s not the point-”

“No, the point is that you looked through my things, without my permission which is purely invasion of privacy and now you’re getting mad at what you found out- I can’t with you, Harry” 

Harry sharply swallowed the building knot forming inside his throat biting the inside of his cheeks “You know what I can’t believe, it’s that I thought I was your everything” and somewhere that hit a nerve. 

“Just, go- Please” Harry pleaded and turned around. 

“Harry-” 

“Please, just go Draco, your work is important”

Draco at that specific moment knew he fucked up, he knew went too far and so did Harry but the damage was irreparable. Both had forgotten the boundaries in the relationship and hurt each other to the extent that their whole relationship seemed to be hanging on a fragile single thread which could break anytime. 

And even though Draco wanted to fix things, just as much as Harry wanted to, he left with a last look at Harry who didn’t dare to look back at him. 

It was then when Draco left the apartment with everything he bought, that he broke down crying in his own hands, whimpering until Bella came and sat down next to him, just as sad as him. 

✵•. ✵°✵.｡.✰.｡. ✵°✵.•✵

Harry slid his hands into the pocket of his jacket rather comfortably, kicking the rocks with his feet while he waited for Ron to be done talking to the vendor. He stared at his feets for a long time or what seemed like it until finally Ron turned to Harry and handed him the bouquet to hold safely. 

“There’s something wrong, isn’t it? Something is bothering you” It wasn’t a question but a statement, he knew it, in fact he could sense it. 

Harry frowned then shook his head “No, nothing is wrong, I’m good” 

“You want to lie to the man you have known for 14 years?” Ron raised his eyebrows at Harry. 

Harry still didn’t admit and rigorously shook his head “Nothing is wrong Ron, I’m as good as these flowers” 

“Okay, one, terrible metaphor and second, I can see it on your face. Now tell me what happened?” Ron asked.

“Everything is fine-”

“I’ll call Draco and ask myself. If you don’t tell me right now, I’ll do that. He’s even on my speeddial” 

Harry sighed. He figured easily there was nothing he might be able to do to convince Ron otherwise and so defeatedly he replied “We had a fight” 

“Is that it?” Ron asked. 

Harry turned to face Ron momentarily knowing he was already looking over at him. Harry shook his head and begun again “He came into town to surprise me a week ago”

“That’s a good thing then why are you saying it as if it's a bad thing ?” 

“He hardly stayed for 2 days. He came in the night, we spent that night together and it was the best but the next day he went to meet his friends which i’m not complaining about, I want him to have his personal space and I understand that he have a life apart from me but then spent the entire night outside and returned at around 4 in the morning, drunk out of his mind, while I was worried sick about him at home-” 

“Understandable-” Ron interjected. Harry nodded, then continued, 

“Then the next morning when I woke up, he was already fighting with someone over the phone and a couple of minutes later, he decided he needed to go back and we ended up fighting over things, he said some cruel things, I said some cruel things and now I feel like I fought over unjustified reason and that I hurt him and now I feel bad because we haven’t talked since the day he left and I’m afraid that-” he breathes sharply, clearing his throat “- that we’ve broken up” 

Ron bobbed his head “Is that all?” Harry nodded. 

“What did you both fight about ?” he asked. 

“I told him that I didn’t understand that he had to leave so soon and that I should not because I hardly get to see him anymore and he was leaving but I don’t think that was even the actual reason why I started the fight” 

“Then what was it ?” 

“I think, it was because I was hurt- I don’t know if you know this, but we once went to Japan and I bought him a gift from there, an omamori charm and he told me that he took it with him everywhere he went and similarly the watch I gifted him- but the night he went out with his friends, he left it back at home. I think it hurt me because-I think he’s ashamed of me or something- there seemed no possible explanation. I don’t know. It really wasn’t his fault, I should’ve been more understanding but I don’t know what to do anymore” Harry replied shrugging as if it was something casual, but it was far from casual, it was heartbreaking. 

Ron nodded again “You think it was your fault?” Harry hummed. 

“Then fix it” Ron said as if it was too easy. 

“How Ron? I fucked up and I fucked up pretty bad” Harry asked 

“1 word 5 letters, ‘sorry’” Ron replied 

“He doesn’t want to talk to me, I'm sure,” Harry replied. 

“Then surprise him, go visit him, give him the best time of his life, do whatever it takes for him to melt down then apologize” Ron suggested. 

“You think it’ll work ?” Harry asked. 

“You’ll never know until you try,” Ron replied.

“What if it doesn’t work?” Harry asked again. 

Ron smiled at him “It will work I’m sure” 

✵•. ✵°✵.｡.✰.｡. ✵°✵.•✵

Harry looked at himself in the window by the door, smiling then not smiling. He was practicing his best smile for Draco until he decided it was finally time to ring his doorbell. Harry took a deep breath then finally rang the doorbell and with every second the door wasn’t answered, the more his heartbeat picked up. He grew nervous and then more nervous with every passing second and afraid at the same time that Draco might not be home right now. His breathing picked up like it was a race and he felt his palms sweating. Questions stormed inside his head, he even thought it was a very bad idea and how he probably should’ve told Draco before he came until finally the door swung open and there he was, the man he loved. 

“Harry” Draco’s face turned into a little smile out of surprise and then suddenly dissolved into nothing. Was he not happy to see Harry ?

“What are you doing here ?” he asked 

Harry gulped visibly then replied “I came here to surprise you-” 

“Why ?” he asked defensively. 

Harry frowned “Because I still love you. Is that wrong ? I can go back if you want- if you feel like i’m invading your personal space-” 

Draco immediately cut him by dragging him inside and hugging him “You have no idea how happy I am you are here” His voice croaked. 

“Draco- are you crying ?” Harry asked, trying to pull away from the hug but Draco held onto Harry as if he was his oxygen he had been waiting to breathe in all this time. 

He shook his head. 

Harry softened up immediately and hugged him back just as tight “It's okay- I’m here. Everything is going to be alright” 

Draco suddenly broke into sobs and Harry didn’t understand why, but hearing him sob made him want to take his every pain away and make it his own. 

“Are you really happy I’m here ?” He asked.

Draco nodded his head vigorously in the hug “I’ve never wanted anything more” 

✵•. ✵°✵.｡.✰.｡. ✵°✵.•✵

“Are you sure you don’t have to go? It sounded pretty urgent?” Harry asked, sitting over the bed fully dressed for their date. 

Draco leaned down and kissed his forehead “I’m absolutely sure” 

Harry blushed and stood up in front of Draco. He tucked a strand behind Draco’s ear and all at the same time grazed his cheek “Is it just me or after the fight you’ve turned into an absolute sap?”

Draco laughed softly, biting his lip then wrapping his arms around Harry to pull him closer “Would you like me to not be a sap? Would you rather want me to be a naughty boy?” 

Harry wholeheartedly laughed, throwing his head back a little “Have you been learning the art of seduction,Draco ?” 

“Yes, Dad-”

Harry placed his hand over his lip to shut him up “Please don’t” he laughed. 

Draco shook his head smiling “I can’t promise though” 

It was 15 minutes later when they were to get out of the apartment when Draco squeezed Harry’s ass from behind, startling Harry, making him squeal at the same time. 

“My- My Draco, Have a little self control” Harry laughed. Draco smirked and whipped around Harry so he was forced to whirl around and collide with Draco. 

“Smooth” Harry smirked. 

“I am very glad then” he smiled then kissed him over the lips in a small passionate moment before they left. 

✵•. ✵°✵.｡.✰.｡. ✵°✵.•✵

 A lover would say they don’t know what love is, that love perhaps cannot be defined by syllable’s or words or letters or even in Braille. Love to most is an undefined feeling that yearns until the senescence approaches, a feeling that makes you whole yet leave you empty all at the same time. But when he was driving to a far off place and he looked at Harry in stolen glances with a glint of the drowning sun sparkling with the most beautiful shade of yellow and orange, their fingers intertwined, he too defined his love for Draco as an unfathomable creation. He loved him in the morning, he loved him in the afternoon, he loved him in the evening, and he loved him in the night, he loved him in the coffee he drank and he loved him in the bath he drew, he loved his eyes, his pointed chin, his soft cheek, his pink lips. He loved the shape of his palm and he loved his fingers, he loved the pointed bone at the start of his wrist and he loved his soft elbow, he loved that dark vein that travelled from the middle of his wrist and curved to the end of where his arms fold, he loved his pointed shoulders and he loved the long bone on his neck which popped out whenever he used to turn to face Harry, he loved his clavicle, he loved his scars that were visible under his shirt, he loved his knuckles, he loved the side of his chest as it went up and down as his diaphragm would settle down and move up, he loved the round shape of his heels and the soft yet pointed knees, he loved the muscles on his calve and shape of his thighs, the sound of his voice, the sound of his laughter, the curve of his smile but most of it all, he loved his heart. Maybe the heart is surrounded by a ribcage so that the cage is open to only one because perhaps the key to that cage is only with one and in his case, the key to his cage was with Draco and the key to Draco’s cage was with Harry. Maybe there aren’t enough words in literature, maybe there aren’t enough letters in Greek or Latin or English or French, nor roman or any language that exists and perhaps that’s why love is undefined. Maybe love itself is within a cage and the key to that cage is love itself. 

“What ?” Draco asked from the driving seat, running circles over Harry's hands. 

Harry shook his head “Nothing, Just I love you” 

Draco’s eyes glinted with the tear like the corner of a shore and he bought his hands to his lips and kissed Harry’s hand softly “I love you way more than you do me” 

“Wanna bet?” 

“You’ll lose” 

✵•. ✵°✵.｡.✰.｡. ✵°✵.•✵

“Do you think one life is enough ?” Harry asked without looking at Draco but looking forward at the drowning sun on the other side of the still ocean. 

“Enough for what ?” Draco asked back. 

Harry turned to Draco, his hair blowing to his face because of the beach winds “For everything” 

Draco thought for a moment, his eyes poured into Harry’s, a long look in his eyes, perhaps communicating through his eyes that no, maybe one life isn’t enough to love Harry but then he shook his head “One life isn’t enough to read Romeo and Juliet nor is it enough to watch mean girls” 

Harry half heartedly laughed “You’re preposterous” 

Draco laughed along, turning to look ahead, his eyes crinkling into little ones. 

“Do you think one life is enough?” Draco asked Harry. 

Harry thought for a moment “I think yeah, maybe one life is enough to live. Though it depends” 

“On what ?” 

“If you’re living a lonely life, then even that one life would seem longer but if you’ve lived a whole life, then maybe yeah one life is enough” 

Draco hummed beside Harry then slowly rested his head upon Harry’s shoulder and whispered shortly “I’m sorry about what happened at your place”

Harry turned his head so he could only see his eyes and kissed on top of his head and intertwined their fingers together “I’m sorry too. We both went too far” 

Draco nodded “But I want you to know I always wear that watch, unless I'm sometimes afraid that it’d break and I always keep the omamori charm with me but I promise you, I would never keep it away, I’ll take it with me on every journey. Every”

Harry smiled “I like the sound of it”

They remained there for some more time in silence, listening to the water crashing over the shore, the echoing voice of the seagull somewhere and the sound of the running water somewhere far off until Harry broke the silence and said “But soft! What light from yonder window breaks? ‘Tis the east and Juliet is the sun -”

Draco shook his head laughing “Tell me, these are the only lines you know right” 

“Oh don’t spoil it. Say it with me” Harry nudged Draco. 

Draco smiled at him and said along with Harry “One more kiss on his forehead. “Arise fair sun and kill the envious moon, who is sick with envy. I take thee at my word. Call me but love and I'll be new baptized.”

Draco couldn’t hold himself back and leaned forward so he could graze his lips over Harry, until he gave into the moment and pressed his own lips against Draco’s. The sun that cast over them, the sea which sang along with their kiss, it was proclaimed in that moment that, this is love. Love is a 2 part globe, one is Draco, and the other is Harry. 

✵•. ✵°✵.｡.✰.｡. ✵°✵.•✵

Harry got up and turned to Draco, offering him to take his hand “Come on, we need to dance” 

“Why do we need to ?” Draco asked, nevertheless taking his hand and pulling himself up. 

“Because this is too beautiful to not be danced upon” Harry replied, smiling. 

Draco smiled back at him and offered Harry his hands so today he may lead. Harry gracefully took his hand and pulled behind before he twirled him around then pulled Draco towards himself so his head rested on Harry’s shoulder and they swayed their body. 

“ Put your head on my shoulder

Hold me in your arms, baby

Squeeze me oh-so-tight

Show me that you love me too

Put your lips next to mine, dear

Won't you kiss me once, baby?

Just a kiss goodnight, maybe 

You and I will fall in love ” 

Harry sang and Draco hummed along as they kept swaying their bodies out of rhythm with the song. 

“You still don’t know how to dance” Draco declared 

“And you still haven’t stopped complaining,” Harry replied. 

“Well I don’t want you to be embarrassed when we dance in front of the whole world” Draco said. 

Harry became too still for a moment, his lips curving into a little smile moment by moment “In front of the whole world?” 

Draco hummed, he nuzzled his head in Harry’s neck “In front of the whole world” he repeated in his croaked voice. 

“Then I’ll learn to dance for you,” Harry proclaimed. 

Draco sniffed softly “I like the sound of it”  

✵•. ✵°✵.｡.✰.｡. ✵°✵.•✵

They walk hand in hand secretly into the alley, keeping their head down so no one would know they’re here. Their only motive was to not get caught, only one. They walked to the last row and when they found an empty seat, they sat down with stolen popcorn in their hands. 

“What if they catch us when we leave the hall ?” Harry asked 

Draco hummed “Then we run for our life” 

Harry chuckled beside him before Draco shushed him. 

The opening scenes rolled up and without any more conversations they silently watched the movie. 

They were halfway through the movie when Harry felt he was being looked at and turned to face Draco and he was right, Draco was looking over at him “What ?” 

Draco remained silent for a few moments as if he was formulating in his head the perfect answer or he was finding a lie to cover up the truth that he was looking at Harry  because he loved him. 

“Nothing, just watching you watch another man whose survival instincts are that of a kitten on crack” 

“Have you ever seen a kitten on crack? It's much worse than spiderman” 

“Whatever helps you sleep at night” Draco shrugged and finally turned to the screen. 

And even though he practically insulted Harry, he didn’t leave his hand for even a single second in the movie. 

✵•. ✵°✵.｡.✰.｡. ✵°✵.•✵

They were settled into each other like they were from Zues’ mythologies: two souls reunited. Cuddled into one, Harry’s legs intertwined between Draco’s while one of Draco’s arms went under Harry’s head and held onto the book with both hands. Harry cuddled further into Draco so that his head was upon his shoulder and Draco continued reading. 

“Anything can happen now that we’ve slid over this bridge,’ I thought anything, ‘anything at all…’ Even the Gatsby could happen, without any particular wonder.”

Draco paused for a moment like he'd done several times in case Harry wanted to say something but this time instead of saying something, Harry took the book from his hands and kept it aside then turned to Draco. 

“Do you like the Gatsby dude?” Harry asked. 

Draco frowned “I mean- he wasn’t that bad. It was Daisy that was bad” 

“I think Gatsby is weird to be hung up on a married woman,” Harry said. 

“But he really did love Daisy, kind of in a way that his love was real” Draco commented 

Harry hummed then leaned further into Draco “would you ever be hung up on me ?” 

“Wasn’t I already hung up on you before we got together?” 

“No, but I mean after ?” Harry asked. 

Draco went too silent for a moment, too serious then shook his head “No, I wouldn’t- because I’ll never leave. Not till the day I die” 

“Is that a promise ?” Harry asked. 

Draco smiled and kissed his nose “I promise” 

✵•. ✵°✵.｡.✰.｡. ✵°✵.•✵

Part 3 available here

A/n: thank you so much for so much love and support on the last part. We're very happy to know that you gave us a chance <3

Tagging some people for a boost, you can ignore if you like <3 @phoebe-delia @rockingrobin69 @nv-md @krystalliumm @missdrarrydawn @slytherinnbitch @drarryboosterclub @thecornerofbelu @jooncookie @silver-de-vonne @harryandginnydeservesbetter @just-ineffable-things @sitp-recs @textrovert-01 @chinike @confictura-210 @l0vegl0wsinthedark @draco-and-harry-malfoy-pottah @ladderofyears

All Too Well

This fic is written in collaboration by @sorry-i-ship-drarry and @drarrywords on anon request

~ Part One available here!

~ Part Two available here!

Part Three ( 9.2k words )

TW ⚠️- Angst

“I think, love is in the walks that we take, it's in the mud shoes get dirty in, it’s in the morning coffee, it’s in the queue at a coffee shop, it’s in the back pocket of a jeans, it’s on the rooftop of a broken house, it’s in the wagon of an empty train, it’s in the snow that touches the skin, it’s in the rain that falls, it’s in the smile the strangers share, it’s in the water that is in the sea, it’s in the sun rays that touch the skin after a long day, it’s in singing in the shower, it’s in the palm of your hands, it’s even in walking away from life. Love is everywhere, it’s on us how we find it, and when we find and maybe even why we find it. We love, because we don’t know how to do anything else but maybe that’s why we fear love, because we don’t know how to do anything else”

But that’s about love, It’s a highland. It's a long mountainous land and the mountain has slopes that run up and down. 

When you circle through the mountain and you reach the top, there’s nowhere left to go but down. 

“Hi, This is Draco Malfoy and I’m not available right now, leave me a message… Beep” 

“Hi, Draco, hi. How are you doing? I just wanted to say sorry for several previous calls. Just want to know if you’re okay? I haven’t heard from you in a while. Call me when you’re free.” And he ended the voice message there. 

He slid the cell back in his pocket and walked back into the restaurant, plastering a smile on his face.

“Come on Harry, we’re cutting the cake.” Ron yelled from afar and Harry immediately walked faster to the table. It was only moments later when his friends broke out into a congratulatory song for Ginny on making it to the team. 

It was a good day, the celebration, the people, and being with friends. It was certainly a great time to be with friends and a good time for Harry to take his mind off things. 

“Hi?” 

Harry turned to see Ginny have joined him at the bar while he was checking his cell, again “Oh, hi. Didn’t see you there” 

She chuckled, “It's okay. I just want you say thanks to Draco for the gift he sent” 

“The gift-” he frowned “-oh right, yeah the gift. For sure. I’ll tell him” he nervously laughed. 

She frowned at Harry herself, “Is everything alright with you two?” she asked. 

Harry nodded his head, “Oh yeah. It’s just he’s been pretty busy at work so we’ve been talking less but otherwise we’re great” 

“Are you sure?” she asked and Harry nodded, assuring her affirmatively. 

He sighed when she left and checked his cell again. 

That same night while Harry was staring up at the ceiling at 3 am, that was when his cell rang and he picked up to see it was Draco. 

“Draco?” 

“Did I wake you?” 

Harry remained silent for a moment. He was slightly mad at Draco for not calling him in a while at all but he was too exhausted to even be mad at him. 

“No” 

“Are you mad at me?” He asked from the other side. 

Harry didn’t reply, instead he asked “How have you been?” 

“Busy.” he replied distantly. 

“Yeah, it's clear.” 

“Are you mad at me?” he asked again, his voice soft and a touch uncertain. 

Harry turned to his side and sighed, “No, i’m just happy to hear your voice” 

Harry couldn’t see him but he knew Draco was smiling, he knew it from the way he was silent, “Can you forgive me?” 

“Always.” Harry replied but Draco didn’t. 

✵•. ✵°✵.｡.✰.｡. ✵°✵.•✵

Harry hurriedly finished up cleaning the dishes, checking the watch after every minute. He was almost done with his dishes when Bella came and purred next to his legs. 

“Oh- Bella, Bella, no, not today. Please. We can’t play today. I have a video call with Draco - please.” he complained but her being her, she kept purring against his leg. Knowing how impatient she can be, he dropped her a sponge to distract her, which worked very successfully and he finished the dishes and ran off to open his laptop and finally waited for Draco’s call. 

Minutes turned into an hour and an hour into more when Draco finally called. 

“You’re late.” Harry said disappointed. 

Draco nodded on the other side. Harry took a good look at him and realised he was still at his office in his office clothes. 

“You’re still at work?” he asked. 

“Something came up.” Draco cleared his throat and replied. 

Harry waited for him to say something but he didn’t, instead he tried to hide his yawn by drinking water. Harry sighed and fake yawned himself then pretended to check the watch. 

“You know what, it's pretty late and I'm very tired. There were too many customers at the shop today. It got exhausting. Would it be okay with you if we do this tomorrow?” Harry lied. 

Draco looked a little taken aback “Are you sure?” 

“Yeah, I’m sure. It’s getting late anyways.” Harry replied. 

“Okay then, we’ll do this tomorrow.” Draco nodded and soon they cut off the call. 

Harry looked at the screen with Draco’s and Harry’s picture from the time he visited Draco to surprise him and ended up having the best time of his life, he stared at it for a long time to reminisce every moment until the screen shut down itself and he shut off the laptop and and kept it aside before laying down. He stared up at the ceiling for a long time until his cell lit up and he picked it up to check it. 

“You didn’t have to cover for me ~D.M.”

Harry smiled but didn’t reply back. 

✵•. ✵°✵.｡.✰.｡. ✵°✵.•✵

“Hi,” He said from the other side. 

“You’re calling at an unusual time, is something wrong?” Harry asked, pushing the invoice file away for a moment so he could focus on Draco. 

“Yeah- actually I wanted to tell you I won’t be able to call you for a while now.” Draco informed 

“Why?” Harry asked. 

“I have to go to the countryside for a work trip and it's going to be incredibly busy.” Draco told him. 

“Oh.” 

“I’ll try to call as soon as I come back. Is that alright with you?” He asked. 

“Oh yeah- sure. It’s not like I'll die out here.” Harry awkwardly laughed. 

Draco however didn’t laugh and soon ended the call bidding his goodbye’s. 

Harry slid the phone back in his pocket, bringing the invoice file nearer to him again but not doing anything. It was when he looked up, he saw his boss staring at him with an apologetic look that he got back to work. 

✵•. ✵°✵.｡.✰.｡. ✵°✵.•✵

It was a few days later after Draco might’ve returned from the trip when Harry chose to break the silence himself and texted him. 

“Hey.” 

He waited hours for a reply. Maybe it even felt like eternity, maybe it felt light years away when he finally received a reply. 

“Hey.”

Harry immediately typed, then deleted, then typed again and deleted again, wondering what should be the most perfect sentence to send Draco but unfortunately he could formulate none and at the end he went with, 

“Will we call tonight?” 

“I can’t be sure. Stuck at work. Text you later.” and then Harry was sure no matter what he might message, Draco would probably see it when it's either 3 am or the next time Harry decides to message.

That night Harry hardly slept and even when he did, his dreams were full of memories, memories with Draco. The dances, the laughs, the late night conversations, the fights, everything as if they weren’t just dreams but reality induced in his head while he was asleep. It felt like he was watching a movie but the movie was just their own, made out of moments that were just shared between them but tonight even in his dreams Harry wished he could go back in time and relive those moments. 

✵•. ✵°✵.｡.✰.｡. ✵°✵.•✵

“He’s gonna call him, isn’t he?” Ron asked Hermione beside him. She nodded her head, herself a little drunk. 

“Let him do it. He’s already having a hard time in Long distance” Hermione replied then suddenly began singing the national anthem of Britain. 

Harry stumbled off the stool and walked out of the door, shivering instantly but fought it as he took out his cell and called Draco. It rang 3 times before the call was finally picked up. 

“Finally.” Harry drawled. 

“What happened and why are you calling me at 2 am?- What's that noise- Harry are you outside ?” he asked from the otherside. Distant shuffling was heard from the other side and the little sober part of Harry believed that he was pushing himself up so he was sitting. 

“Hi.” Harry said in a sing-song voice. 

“Hi- Harry, are you outside ?” Draco asked. 

“Oh shush - don’t be such a spoil sport”

“Great you’re outside and you’re drunk.” Draco huffed on the other side. 

Harry sat down over the ground and shivered again, “So i’m a little drunk, big deal” 

“Harry, it's 2 am and you’re out and drunk. What has gotten into you? Why are you even outside at 2 am?” He asked. 

“We’re celebrating,” Harry sang the celebration song until Draco told him to shut up. 

“Now, what’s the celebration for?” he asked. 

“I told you. I got a new job.” Harry said. 

“Oh-yeah right, I remember that.” Draco replied but Harry knew he didn’t remember, he knew he didn’t. 

“You don’t remember, do you?” he asked. He pushed his body against the back wall, his head hitting behind, suddenly emotions overwhelming him. 

Draco sighed on the other end, “Things have been a little too much recently. I’m sorry”

Harry smiled to himself, his eyes watering because of the cold and the moment itself, “Work. Right” he hummed. 

“I know I've been a little MIA,” Draco said. 

“Oh no, I understand. I understand,” Harry replied sadly. They remained silent, breathing on the other sides. They were so close, that their breathing could be heard and Harry believed even his heartbeat could be heard, they were so close yet so apart. It wasn’t the distance that kept them apart, it was them who kept them apart. In the moment of shallow breaths, Harry wondered how this even happened. It seemed like yesterday when they went on their first date and now they’re sitting miles apart listening to each other’s silence. It was in that moment that silence felt so loud, like it was screaming to get out of the little box they both had tucked it in but neither of them let it out. 

Harry gulped looking up at the stars and then asked, “Do you think in the parallel universe, we’re not talking too?” 

Draco smiled, he knew he was smiling but he knew he was cutting it off, he just knew, “Yeah, I don’t think we’re talking there either” 

“But do you think in the parallel universe you miss me?” 

✵•. ✵°✵.｡.✰.｡. ✵°✵.•✵

The next morning Harry woke up with the worst headache ever. He knew he should not have drank that much but in the moment it felt so right, now he was suffering the consequences of his action and he was purely regretting them. He found a small bucket beside his bed and suddenly he was reminded of how he did it for Draco and a small flicker of hope fabricated in the corner of his heart that Draco could be here, he knew he wouldn’t be here but one could hope. 

And though he was right, he only wished he was here. He wished for a lot of things at that moment, he wished Draco would come back to him, tell him that his work was over, that he’s no longer stuck with work, tell him that he would call tonight, that he would perhaps send flowers like he used to, that he would give Harry a surprise visit, that he would ask Harry to come meet him only for a couple of days, that he would video call him like they always planned on, that he would stop being so distant, that he would talk to him about parallel universe, about weird muggle science theories, or about the origin of the universe or would sing to him or just even laugh with him, but he knew it wasn’t happening because in his apartment, there was no one but him, Bella and a note from Ron kept on the kitchen table. 

“I fed your cat, don’t worry~R.W” 

Harry smiled and only after he had freshened up and ate his food did he pick up his phone and was met with a message from Draco. 

“Of course I miss you. Every hour of every day. If there’s only one universe where Draco misses Harry, it’s this~ D.M.” 

Harry smiled.

“I miss you too~H” 

✵•. ✵°✵.｡.✰.｡. ✵°✵.•✵

Harry checked his cell again while he was circling around aisle 12 again, shopping for cat food. Draco should've called by now. This was his usual time to call him, at least before dinner but he still hadn't and Harry was worried something was wrong because of how he was forgetting to call more than once or sometimes even just not calling without an excuse and these days it happened a lot. It worried Harry that he might've done something wrong or there was something that Draco wasn't telling but whatever it was, it had started to worry Harry. He hated the feeling that was growing longingly in his chest due to this distance and he was fearing unnamed things or things that he didn’t like to think of, therefore unnamed but he wished upon things for them to get easier so that maybe he would have a little more time with Draco but things were only getting harder and harder. 

He had reached home after that, even had his dinner and read the witches weekly magazine again until he finally decided that he couldn't wait any longer for Draco's call and called him himself.

"Hi."

"Hey. Can I call you back tomorrow? I'm busy right now" He asked on the other side hurriedly.

Harry looked at the clock on the wall. It was already approaching midnight, how could he still possibly be busy till now?

"I promise I'll call you sooner tomorrow."

Harry hummed, "You better call me tomorrow because I really want to talk to you."

There was a long pause and if Harry wasn't wrong, he heard a deep breath "I really want to talk to you too."

Harry nodded, "Call me tomorrow then"

"I promise."

Draco didn't call the next day or the day after or the day after and Harry wondered if that promise meant anything to him. 

✵•. ✵°✵.｡.✰.｡. ✵°✵.•✵

It had started to pour in London, just the usual out of the time rain, wetting the ground on the most unusual days and this was one of those days. Harry was walking down the roads, hearing certain voice messages on repeat from the phone when he accidentally tripped over a pet dog. 

“I’m so sorry- I must have been out of my mind.” Harry apologised. 

The girl smiled and shook her head and made signs that it was okay. Harry instantly realized she was mute. He gave her a neat smile and in the limited sign language he knew, he apologised again. 

The girl smiled at him and soon she left. It was then when Harry was watching them walk away that he remembered the street so well, he had been there before, oh he had been there not just in his dreams several times, he had been here with the love of his life. 

He looked up and he watched the  dainty name of the bookstore now all wet under the droplets of rain. He smiled at the fond memory of his first date with Draco, oh how they read lines there, all the smiles they shared there, all the quirky remarks, all the words that if Harry listens closely still lingers in the bookstore. It's there, it's all there and Harry knows it, he can feel it. Remembering it was like watching the memory in a pensieve. He smiled faintly in a short lived glory as he took out his phone which was immediately covered with drops of rain because he had forgotten to carry an umbrella. 

“Hi, This is Draco Malfoy and I'm not available right now. Leave a message…Beep”

Harry sighed and pushed the phone back in his pocket and walked away but a part of himself still lingering there, watching the bookstore and reliving all those moments with Draco, but that's what it was, A part of him, not the whole. 

✵•. ✵°✵.｡.✰.｡. ✵°✵.•✵

It was then, right then when he knew everything had changed. He had heard his voice after 4 days, he had tried to call him several times that week and he had tried everything but he knew something had changed, he didn’t know what but it felt like everything. 

“Call me tonight?” Harry asked, silently wishing that today, just for once Draco wouldn’t have to work overtime, that maybe just for once Draco would actually call, just once, just once he needed Draco to tell him he missed him, to tell him that he loved him, just once. 

“Oh, I’m - yeah, I’ll try,” Draco replied. 

Harry bit the inside of his cheek then nodded to himself, “If you can” 

“I am trying Harry -” 

“I know. It's just we haven’t talked more than 5 words this entire week- and- I just miss you, alright.”

Draco sighed on the other side then coarsely said through his phone as if he had to force himself to say that. “I’ll make time for you tonight, is that alright ?” 

“I am not forcing you Draco -” 

“Its okay - I want to” Draco replied 

“Okay.” 

And Harry waited till 3 in the morning hoping the phone would ring but it didn’t and with sunken hopes went to sleep but sleep didn’t come, it didn’t come to him anymore these days and he made peace with it. 

✵•. ✵°✵.｡.✰.｡. ✵°✵.•✵

“I’m sorry sir but he’s not in the office today- can I take the message?” The man on the other side asked. 

“How is it possible though? He should be at the office, he told me he would be.” Harry replied frowning. 

“I’m sorry but it must’ve been something. Is there anything you would like me to pass on to him?” he asked. 

Harry sighed and shook his head “Just- just tell him Harry called and that I would really like to talk to him.” 

“Okay - is there anything else?” He asked on the opposite end. 

Harry wanted to say so many things, ask so many things, argue over so many things but he was exhausted of this little battle, this losing battle where he got no answers, where he had nothing to win for, nor anything to lose for, nothing, it was.

“No, that would be all,” Harry replied. 

The man on the other end politely ended the call and even though Harry stared at the screen of his cell for so long, he knew he wasn’t getting a call back, he knew he wasn’t. 

Only he was wrong, that night was the last night he did. 

“You called my office today.” That was the first thing he said as soon as Harry picked up the call while he was randomly watching TV. 

Realisation struck him and he immediately turned it off and bought all his attention to him “Yeah- I’m sorry about that, I just wanted to talk to you and lately you’ve been so busy with everything -”

“Would you like to meet?” Draco asked,cutting him off. 

It must’ve been some incredible prayer he must’ve done or it must’ve been some great god who might’ve heard his desperate cries. 

“Meet you ? Like you actually want to meet?” Harry asked, not believing him for even a single moment because all of this was surreal to him. 

“Yes. Do you want to  meet?” He asked. 

Harry grinned “Of course, I’d love to meet you. I actually think we both need to see each other. It has been such a long time and we really need to reconnect again you know” 

“Yeah.” He silently said on the other end. Harry should’ve known by his tone, but he didn’t, he was far too happy of a man to have seen anything that awaited him. 

He wished that, that night he knew, that, that night he should’ve recognised by his tone but he didn’t. He was far too excited to hear the roar of his cry in that call. He wishes he had. 

The next day he had giddily went to Ron’s place and left Bella there for good, so she was looked after, while he was gone. It was strange but Bella had a thing for Ron, so it only made sense. She was a moody cat as Harry would’ve liked to put it but when she liked someone, she liked them wholeheartedly and apparently Ron was one of them.  

“For how long?” Ron asked 

“I’ll hardly be there for more than 4 or 5 days. Eventually I have to come back for work, don’t I? I’m just glad we’re finally going to meet after so long.” Harry excitedly replied. 

Ron smiled at him, petting Bella in his arms, “I’m happy for you. You’ve been dying to meet him for so long” 

“I know right.” 

“But it’s so sudden?” Ron couldn’t help but ask.

“Yeah - it got me in a little pickle too but I think he might’ve finally realised that things have been off between us for a while you know. I’m sure it must’ve been something or anything but whatever it is, I’m just glad that he feels like we need to meet.” Harry replied. 

Ron nodded but there was that hesitation, that reluctance over his face that Harry had overseen. There were those unspoken words left in the air that surrounded them as Harry handed him the last bag of Bella’s belongings and decided to walk away but Ron never dared to say them out loud. 

✵•. ✵°✵.｡.✰.｡. ✵°✵.•✵

The breeze picked up and the clouds covered the sky but not a single drop poured down. It was a cool, serene day with very few people outside and the easy flow of traffic. 

Harry had easily made it to Draco’s flat and as soon as he had rung the bell, the lightning broke out in the sky startling Harry. 

He gazed out of the building window and realized that it had gotten too dark for the afternoon. It wasn’t supposed to be so dark, and even Harry could not have predicted that the weather would take such an unexpected turn but it had.

“It’s gonna rain,” A voice said from somewhere behind him. 

He immediately whipped his head in the other direction and found Draco standing there with the door held open. Harry smiled at him and instantly hugged Draco for several minutes. 

“I missed you.” Harry told him against his shoulder. 

Draco hummed, “I missed you too.” 

They separated after a while and Harry remained there in awe just looking at Draco. 

“What?” Draco asked 

“Nothing - Just forgot how much I loved you” Harry smiled. 

Draco smiled back at Harry and summoned him inside and helped him settle in. While Draco helped Harry with his bags, he realised Harry had been watching him for too long. 

“You look different.” Harry remarked. 

Draco frowned, “Must be the light. Got it changed a while ago. They’re sort of paler than usual. Feel like any day I'd be blind” he told him. 

Harry nodded, then looked around the place, “You’ve had things changed.” 

“A couple yeah.” Draco hummed. 

“And -” 

“Can we not talk about my flat and be with each other? Please.” There was desperation in Draco’s voice. 

Harry softly smiled and reduced the distance between them so they were facing each other with little distance in between each other, “Of course. That is after all why I came here”

Draco smiled back and pressed his forehead against Harry’s and closed his eyes “I’ve missed you.” 

Harry doesn’t remember why in that moment those words hit home, why those words were more than just words itself but it felt like it was a feeling, like a cry, a desperate and sad cry. 

He doesn’t know why but in that moment he only remembered hugging him again and just getting locked in the moment. 

✵•. ✵°✵.｡.✰.｡. ✵°✵.•✵

“What’s the update?” Draco asked from across the counter, putting over Harry’s plate another pancake. 

Harry, himself put his cell back in his pocket and brought all his attention to the breakfast and Draco, “She’s running on mile high. I've been a little worried about Bella recently. Someday’s she just acts so strange and then the next she’s absolutely fine. It’s like being with a moody teenager” 

Draco elicited a soft laugh, “Well that’s Bella for you.”

He came and sat down in the front of Harry and continued, “Remember when we returned from our first date and we saw her climbed up on that curtain rod and the moment she saw you come in, she jumped right off and settled in her bed as if she hadn’t just tore apart your cushions and left all the things in the kitchen, scattered?” 

Harry laughed nodding his head “A total menace I tell you. When I first bought her she was like this cutest little adorable creature that I had ever set eyes on but the moment I brought her home, she tore apart every little cushion I had and knocked off all my frames. That was the moment I knew she was the one.” 

“Wait, let me get this straight - she destroys everything you own and that was the moment you knew she was the one - I’m impressed by your choice Harry.” Draco frowned impressively but comically at the same time. 

Harry chuckled knowing that his expressions meant complete mockery, “No, it was then when after destroying everything she came and sat down in my lap as if she had done nothing and was completely innocent, that’s when I knew. It was sort of like she knew she could destroy anything of mine and yet one look from her and I'd melt like butter.” 

Draco laughed softly in front of him, “She really is adorable though” 

Harry nodded. They kept staring at each other for several moments, with their eyes locked into another’s, not ushering even a single word but just a look of love. 

“She misses you,” Harry tells him. 

Draco nodded without breaking his eye contact. “I know. I miss her too”

✵•. ✵°✵.｡.✰.｡. ✵°✵.•✵

They walked hand in hand, Draco’s hold on Harry’s a little tighter but Harry didn’t mind. He liked that intimacy, he liked holding his hand and walking across the city on a lame dark day and he liked the soft smiles Draco passed him every once in a while. 

Harry has forgotten the feeling of that intimacy, the feeling of being with someone you loved, the feeling of being watched in lingering glances, the feeling of being shy, the feeling of blushing when his hands brushed with Draco, the feeling of Draco’s warmth besides, the feeling of the interlocking of the fingers that felt like the world's two most complicated locks have been tied together and would remain locked forever, the feeling of bumping into Draco purposefully, the feeling of not missing him, the feeling of being loved and to love. 

It was all there, in those hands that they had intertwined together that Harry felt the world beneath his feet slipping. It was like the most beautiful feeling in the world, of being held and Harry wanted to take his arm and dance right here, right there on the street in front of everyone, and engrave it in his memory book in his head that is only dedicated to Draco. 

He wanted so much in that moment that his heart bled like the spluttering water that crashes when a large tide comes by, but he didn’t do anything because he liked this, he liked being with Draco right now and walking with no aim but just walking because with him, Harry knew he needed no destination and so they walked miles and miles with too little stories said in between. 

They walked and walked with no aim. 

✵•. ✵°✵.｡.✰.｡. ✵°✵.•✵

“Okay, I got one- how about baby broccoli?” Draco asked 

“Still a baby. I mean it's cute, why would you ever want to eat it?” Harry scrunched his face, staring upwards in the direction of the sky from where they were laying over the hood of the car. 

“Baby pea?” He asked 

“No, wait - baby peas exist?” Harry turned a little to face Draco. 

“I mean it's the tiny balls of pea you know. That’s baby pea.” 

“Draco - that doesn’t commercially sale” 

“But still- Baby pea?” 

“Draco, no” Harry chuckled softly after. 

“Okay, how about baby -” 

“Draco- I’m not a snake who’d eat babies alright. Just accept it, I get a weird thing eating baby vegetables” Harry huffed, now finally turning his head so he was looking at Draco. 

“Snakes eat babies?” Draco frowned 

“You didn’t know that?” 

“What do you mean I didn’t know that? I don’t live with a snake, how am I supposed to know snake eat babies” 

“But you read a lot-” 

“Not about animals eating babies” 

Harry immediately started laughing louder, finding it hard to control at this point in the night when they had been intoxicated with tequila in their system and love that ran through them. 

“How do you know snakes eat babies anyways?” Draco asked, still remaining on the topic. It was clear Draco found it disturbing enough but was curious to know more. 

“Pet shop. They made me read a whole bunch of manuals and stuff before I started working there and that's when I found out that Snakes might eat their own babies.”

“Their own babies? God, that’s sick.” Draco grossed, miming vomiting which only made Harry laugh harder. 

“It's an animal, vicious one at that, how can you not expect snakes to not do that?”

“Well you don’t see a pitbull breed do that.” Draco disgustingly replied. Harry found it even more hilarious now. 

“That’s a dog-” 

“Dog or snake, nobody should eat their babies. That’s horrific.” Draco visibly shivered at the thought of snakes eating their own babies and while Harry found it amusing, he wrapped his arms around Draco, forcing him to look at Harry. 

“I’m so glad I came here to visit you.” Harry said after a while. 

Draco smiled and his eyes mirrored the night sky, the glimmer his eyes held and the crescent of his lips made his heart overflow with love for Draco that he couldn’t help himself from leaning in and kissing his lips. 

Deprived of the love they both seeked, Draco cried in the kiss, Harry being unaware of why, maybe it was the intoxication of the drink or maybe it was the night intoxication or maybe it was intoxication from love but whatever it was, it made him weep but he did not dare to detach himself from Harry, how could he? 

It was like returning to a home you forgot you had lived in and it made it more sadder than it had been before. 

“Draco, please- look at me” Harry pleaded, cupping Draco’s face and pushing him away so he could look at him. 

But even when Draco did, he couldn’t open his eyes to look at Harry, he wanted to be buried in him, in his chest, in his eyes, in his heart, in his love. He wanted to be buried with his love “I’m so sorry” Draco cried. 

Harry wiped away his tears delicately, like a lover would tend its lovers wounds “Hey - it's okay. Shush, it's okay. I forgive you” 

“I should not have done any of that-I’m sorry, I’m sorry- I’m sorry” and he cried harder with hopelessness. Harry assured him that he forgave him, that he always does but Draco wept in his arms until the night faded into morning and a new beginning looked upon them. 

✵•. ✵°✵.｡.✰.｡. ✵°✵.•✵

 “A chapel?” Harry asked, holding Draco’s hands while looking ahead at the place Draco had brought them to. 

Draco nodded and led him further through the door and into the place itself. 

“I never thought of you to be the chapel kind of guy,” Harry teased.

Draco smiled softly at Harry “I never thought of myself to fall so deeply in love with you, yet here I am.” 

"Touché.” Harry chuckled and his voice echoed inside the empty chapel that he had to immediately shut himself up. 

“But seriously though, you, a chapel guy? Hard to think of.” Harry said. 

Draco shrugged, “I didn’t know it myself until I accidentally came upon his place” 

“Define accidentally.” Harry said walking a little ahead of Draco to see the place clearly. It seemed to him the most beautiful chapel in the whole wide world, in the entire universe, better than any of the stars or the moon or the sun or the most beautiful flower or the most gorgeous building in the world because Draco was here.

It was as if anything he walked upon bloomed with beauty, like garlands grew as he walked upon it or rivers started flowing with every step he took, yeah, Harry was swooned. 

Draco took a deep, shuddering breath, “I was driving - somewhere one day, had to be somewhere else, guess it was important but I didn’t want to go. I think something clicked in me or it was really an accident that I took the other road and came across this place. Ever since then, this place has been a Haven for me.” 

A knot formed in Harry’s throat. 

“You know the place that is so silent, the one that reminds why you exist, that maybe someday’s are worth living, some people are worth living, this is that place for me. It binds me to the reality of the realm of time and place and everything in existence. Whenever things get a little hard, I drive down here and just breathe and everything suddenly gets better.” Draco whispered. 

Harry stared at him then walked to him and held his hands in his own hands “Are you okay, Draco?” 

Draco’s eyes shone with white light with the sun that poured from the top of the chapel and the pink light that bounced off his face because of the glossed window with the Lady of worship. He nodded and even though there was a glimmer in his eyes, he didn’t fade his smile. 

“You know you can tell me anything, right? Anything?” Harry asked. 

Draco nodded in reassurance “I’d never hide anything from you, Harry” 

“Do you promise?” Harry asked, circling his thumb over his hand. Draco nodded. 

Harry smiled affirmatively then Draco led him over to the seats and sat down while holding hands. 

“So what brings us here today?” Harry asked. 

Draco smiled politely at him then began talking, “I have a confession” 

“Oh- Do you want me to play the role of a priest ?” Harry joked. 

Laughing Draco shook his head, “I just want you to know.” 

“Okay, what is it?”Harry asked, genuinely curious. 

“You know how I once said that one day we’d dance in front of the whole world, I hope you know that I meant it-” Harry nodded and Draco continued “-well this place is like a prologue to it. Like the place where the before happens. This chapel where you know I would want to promise you a forever” 

Harry stared at him lovestruck and couldn’t help himself from kissing Draco’s hands “Really?” 

Draco nodded. 

“Tell me more,” Harry suggested. Draco gave him a firm smile then raised his hand to point at the front of the chapel, 

“I think that if we are to end up together one day, then we would have the most ridiculous wedding of all time. It'll be like that wedding disaster.” Draco chuckles softly. 

Harry smiles fondly beside him and eagerly looks at Draco “Why would it be disastrous ?”

“Because it’s us - we’re a ridiculous team” Draco points out “If it's us then something is bound to happen wrong. Like every time I come here and I imagine ourselves there, there’s always a new mess up in my head like I might trip while walking down the aisle or the priest might forget the lines or Ron might accidentally forget to get the ring resized or someone’s kid somehow might steal our wedding attention or I might get too nervous that I faint or Bella might create a whole scene that we might have to actually run after her to catch her.” 

Harry’s head tip off laughing, “Now that’s something that definitely can happen with us” 

“Right? It’s our wedding,” He smiled “but then you know, it ends up with us getting married- and spending the rest of our lives together.” 

Harry’s eyes welled up that he practically had to wipe his tears off. 

“Tell me what happens if we have the perfect wedding?” Harry finds himself asking. 

Draco smiled a little too fondly at Harry that his heart skips a beat. 

“We always end up having a perfect wedding, Harry. It’s because we define our own perfect. Perfect is us making through the wedding and deciding that we want each other for the whole of our lives” 

Harry smiles at him again and this time he rests his head against Draco’s shoulder, wanting to be as close to him as possible. 

“Describe our wedding to me.” Harry asks. 

 “Well, those front seats would be reserved for families, My parents on the right side while your family, that being Molly and Arthur with Hermione and Ron being on the left side. It’ll be a small ceremony you should know or the world would gather to see the boy who lived getting married. You’ll be waiting at the altar in your perfect black suit and you’d be nervous to death because it's your wedding and you’re afraid you’ll fuck up but then Ron would sort of you know support you and tell you that it’s too late to back out now or something like that because classic Ron for you. 

“Then as Blaise would finish playing put your hand on my shoulder, because it’s our song, I’d walk down the aisle with my father when Can’t help falling in love plays and I’d be on the verge of crying because how I can’t believe that it's finally happening and you’d be holding back your tears as well because you’re thinking the same. 

“We’d both be thinking about our time at school and how we hated each other, to our first date and then to here and we’d smile because we’re proud of ourselves because we made it so far when neither of us would’ve imagined that we would’ve. 

“I’d walk up to you and I’d compliment you about how you look so good and before you can even say thank you, the priest would begin the ceremony. We’ll keep looking at each other in soft glances and so happy to see that day come, that by the time we’re officially married and the priest announces that we can kiss, we practically pound onto each other, totally disgusting Ron out.” Harry elicited a small laughter, rubbing small circles on Draco’s hands. Harry heard him release a harsh breath and he immediately looked up to see tears streaming down Draco’s face and the smile that had faded into a low crescent. 

“It sounds so beautiful, love” Harry whispered and kissed Draco’s tears away. 

Draco ran his hand over his face to wipe off the remaining tears and grinned at Harry, “Can we have that wedding?” 

Harry bit his lip and nodded softly, “Yeah, yeah I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again: we can have it all.” 

“All of it?” Draco asked with tears in his eyes glowing of the promise yet to be fulfilled. 

“All of it.”  

✵•. ✵°✵.｡.✰.｡. ✵°✵.•✵

Harry hummed lightly to the song that they had suddenly started talking about while they were still in the chapel with the evening coming into light and almost the time that they should leave but they were holding onto the last of the moment of just being there, seeing the light turn from yellow to orange to further darker. 

And suddenly Draco asked. “Do you ever wish we had more time together?” 

Harry hummed. “Kind of. I sometimes wish we had met sooner or that I had asked you out sooner or that we didn’t have to do this distance thing so we were together more often” 

“But do you ever wish that when we were in school that we should not have hated each other, like just have given a chance to understand each other you know. Like imagine how much time we could’ve spent together but didn’t because we were too foolish to have a rivalry” 

“I mean yeah- all the time, you know. Makes me wonder a lot what would’ve happened if we had actually became friends, if I had shook your hand in the first year or if I had just sort of agreed to be a slytherin-” 

“Agreed to be a slytherin? What?” Draco asked in confusion. 

Harry chuckled then remembered Draco possibly didn’t know it “I was almost sorted into slytherin but because the sorting took my consideration, I got sorted into gryffindor”

“You could’ve been in slytherin and you didn’t tell me, that’s just cruel of you Harry” Draco complained.” 

“Well to be honest, you weren’t such a doll to talk to in first year, were you? You were so handsome and attractive with your slicked back blonde hair -” 

“Please no” Draco laughed, burying his face in his hands 

“- and your overpriced robes-” 

“No,” he requested again 

“And your ever growing need to be competitive with me -” Harry laughed alongside Draco. 

Their laughter dissolved soon when the bell behind the chapel rang and they knew they had to leave.

“I just wish we could’ve had more time together. I'd shown you the world,” Draco said sadly. 

Harry smiled, “Doesn’t matter as long as I have you with me because you are my whole world.” 

Draco smiled at Harry again, “Can I tell you a secret?” 

Harry nodded. 

“I come here often because this place reminds me of you. I told you that this place feels like a safe Haven, it's only because it reminds me of you. Thinking about you brings me peace, talking to you brings me peace, everything about you binds me to this reality because if you exist then so do I. When I first discovered this place, it instantly reminded me of you and I kept coming back here because I knew I couldn’t go to you but I could think of you in a place that makes me feel like I'm with you. It sounds absurd but I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forget this place or you because the two of you are so deep rooted in my heart. I guess what i’m trying to say is that- You- you are my safe Haven, my safe place and it can never be someplace else or someone else” 

✵•. ✵°✵.｡.✰.｡. ✵°✵.•✵

But short lived are those moments spent in the serenity of being with each other. Blessed is that time where the proclamations of love lasts, where love beheld meaning, where promises were kept. They are short lived as they come and go. It’s like the russian dancing doll but only its broken, it goes down once but never come back up and you’re waiting for it to come back up again but it doesn’t and no matter how much cry, how much you yell at it, how much you want to fix, it won’t be fixed because it's broken. 

It was a cold December night, Harry was to leave in 2 days, therefore he was packing his last minute things while Draco had gone out for a while for something important. 

In the time gone, Harry wondered about all those sleepless nights he had, all those days he stared at his phone waiting for Draco to call, staying up late just in case Draco decided to send a message but all of that now seemed like a broken past which hardly made any sense. He was far too happy to have come here and he had definitely forgiven Draco at all costs. 

Somehow being with him here had bought him the peace he had looked for, for months, it was like he had crossed the river that he never knew how to and now that he was on the other side of the river, he didn’t want to go back. In the moment of weakness, he wanted to ask Draco if they should move in together and wholeheartedly he day dreamt about asking him to live together but right now wasn’t the time, Draco didn’t seem like he wanted to move in together just yet. 

But Harry had faith that one day they would, when perhaps Draco’s work would be over or when Harry would be able to find a job around here. He aspired to live with Draco one day and he knew moving in with Draco would be the best day of his life, but it was a dream wasn’t it?

The door had opened and Draco had walked in after keeping the bag of things he bought with himself over the table. Harry turned and smiled at him but Draco didn’t smile back at him. Harry stepped forward so he could be closer to Draco but he had other plans as it seemed and he moved into the living room, making Harry follow him there. 

“We need to talk,” Draco announced. 

Harry raised his eyebrows in skepticism, his heartbeat quickening in his chest because nothing good followed with that sentence, “Okay, what about?” 

Draco breathed sharply, then as if he had finally gained every inch of breath after a struggle he said, “This isn’t working” 

Harry remained silent for a couple of moments then all of a sudden, he broke out into a slow, sarcastic laugh, “No, you’re not serious, right? You’re trying to play with me” 

Draco shook his head, “No, Harry, this isn’t working. Us - we aren’t working, not anymore.” 

“What do you mean we aren’t working anymore? We’re doing perfectly fine.”

“No, Harry, you’re just turning a blind eye that we’re not as good as we used to be -” 

“No, I’m not turning any blind eye. Did we have a rough patch? yes we did. Did the long distance seem unbearable ? Yes, But is this not working out ? No. It is working- and- just where- is this coming from? We had some of the best time these last couple of days, I’m positive you’re lying-” 

“I am not lying, Harry. You’re blocking the part out where we didn’t talk for days, where I left you to fend for yourselves, where I didn’t meet you for months. Just one visit and suddenly everything isn’t fine” Draco harshly admitted. 

“I don’t get it- you called me here, you wanted us to meet, you took us to all those places, you told me about that wedding thing you had in mind about us- how can all of this suddenly not be okay? How can suddenly our relationship not be working? How is it that you suddenly changed your mind ?” Harry asked with his voice sounding broken and denser because of the force he had to push through every syllable. 

“I didn’t just change my mind-” 

“Then why did you take me to that chapel and tell me all you thought about it, why did you tell me that I was your safe Haven or why did you say all you those things you said there, why? Why would you do that if you wanted to break up with me?” Harry’s voice trembled softly, sounding defeated as his eyes filled with tears. 

But Draco remained silent, he didn’t say anything. He just watched Harry fighting his voice, fighting his tears, fighting his broken heart. 

“Why are you doing this Draco?” His voice cracked. 

Draco visibly gulped, fighting the knot in his throat “I-I need space. I need space from you, I need space from your all the time calls, from your messages, from your immense needs” 

“You already live almost 6900 miles away from me, how much more space do you need? It’s like saying that you might live on another planet and you still might need space from me. You’re making it sound like I’m always calling you or texting you, when I don’t” Harry’s eyes dropped a tear from the corner of his eyes and he didn’t try to wipe it away, why should he have to? 

“I’m sorry, Harry but I can’t with you- I hate to do this-”

“No- I should be the one doing this to you- I stayed up nights waiting for you to call. I checked my phone precisely 525 times a day to see if you called me or not or if there was just a single text from you, I didn’t sleep at nights just in case you decided to call me late or just in case you texted me and I didn’t want to lose an opportunity to text you, I waited for you to do one video call.”

Tears started to prickle at the corners of his eyes, his heart beating louder in his chest. 

“I waited for the one day where you’d say ‘let's talk tonight, the world can wait, my work can wait, everything else can wait, but let's just talk tonight like we used to’, I waited to hear your voice, I waited for you to surprise me like you did that one time, I waited for you to do something- anything, just anything but you didn’t do anything.” 

He drew in a sharp breath, “I’ve spent all of myself trying to make this work, I'm putting so much effort for us to work and you want to throw it all away? Do you know the feeling of that hopelessness, that insecurity that perhaps my boyfriend is happier without me? No, you don’t, Draco and yet I’m crying to make it work. I should be the one doing this to you, I should be the one to break your heart, I should be the one telling you that I can’t do this but I’m not because I have faith in us, I have faith in our relationship, I have faith that we can make this work- I know we can.” 

Harry cried, not the soft cry but a cry of desperation, the cry that sounded so heavy, the cry that pierced through the heart like a spear. 

Draco huffed, closing his eyes then opening them again making a single tear appear in the corner of his eyes, he was struggling, Harry knew. 

“We just can’t do this, okay- you’re doing so much, you’re making too much effort for me and I can’t have you do that to yourself alright. I have my life here and your’s is there-” 

“But you are my life, Draco, you are it.” 

Draco let out a cry, burying his face in his hand, unable to control the broken sounds that came out from his throat. Harry immediately sat down in front of him, on his knees and took his hands in his own and cupping his face “We can make this work, Draco- we can.” 

“No-” he cried, shaking his head “-No, Harry. We can’t”

“Why?”Harry pleaded. 

“I don’t love you anymore, Harry, I just don’t- I’m sorry but I don’t.” Draco cried. 

It suddenly felt like the moment when you’re holding the whole world in your hand and it suddenly crashes to the ground. 

Harry fell back, his whole world had collapsed in front of him and he was holding onto those fragments because what else could he do. 

“You -You don’t love me?” he asked, his voice suddenly sounded more calm and somehow it hurt Draco more than hearing his cry. 

“I don’t, I’m sorry.”  

Harry got up from his knees, his eyes blocking his vision, his hands trembling his side and his voice that forbade itself to come out from his throat. Several moments passed by and Harry didn’t say anything except standing in the middle of the living room looking nowhere. 

“Harry-” 

“No, no that isn’t true because I know you love me.” Harry interrupted him. 

“No- I don’t.” 

“You love me so much that you want to protect me from what the distance is doing to us. You love me so much that it’s tearing you apart but you can’t tell me because you love me. You love me, Draco, you love me more than yourself as I do you.”

It was a soft whisper, his eyes glimmering with saddest tears the world had ever known and it tore Draco apart, to see what he had done to Harry. 

“And even if you don’t love me - I’ll always love you. I once promised you that I will love you in the dimension that is ours and I intend to keep that promise. The stars will go out before I stop loving you.” Harry said with a soft smile and the tears that ran down his face and when Draco reached out to wipe them off, he didn’t allow him to and instead, he took Draco’s hand and turned it over. 

He unhooked the chain with the moonstone ring, the one that signified a piece of Draco’s heart and placed it in Draco’s palms and spoke for the last time in a soft whisper, “I love you but if one day you find the courage to tell me why you did what you did tonight, know that I’ll be waiting but if you never come back, if this is over - I don’t want to have this. I can’t have this knowing that you’ll never be mine again. So, you can have your heart back, but you’ll always have mine.” 

On that night when he left, he heard Draco call out his name and as much as he wanted to stay there with him, as much as he wanted to turn back - he didn’t. 

But a piece of his heart had made home there and he would never have that back. 

Home isn't found in places. 

It’s found in a person. 

On that night when he left, he had left his home behind. 

✵•. ✵°✵.｡.✰.｡. ✵°✵.•✵

Part 4

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After all this time, always the same - Part 2 

Mild angst/ hurt comfort

Rain patted on the patio with the soft whirl of a wind making a peaceful sound. A residual of dead leaf floating over 1 inch of water and reflection of the flickering light of the place burning in a soft yellow. 

Harry revived in that rain, drinking his warm cup of coffee, away from everyone and gazing at the beautiful skyline of London. He drank another sip of coffee, the bitter aftertaste remaining but turned into a sweetness in given moments. 

“Out here alone again?” he heard. 

Harry didn’t need to turn around to know it was Ginny. He welcomed her in his presence; She came and stood next to Harry with her hand placed over the railing and in a soft physical touch Harry placed his hand over hers, rubbing it lightly. 

“We’ve lived here for 3 years and this skyline still amazes me.” Harry gushed. 

Ginny smiled, “The world is always changing, it’s something new everyday.” 

Harry hummed along. She was right, the world keeps moving forward, we keep evolving, 

And yet some unspoken things remain the same. 

“I wanted to discuss about certain wedding plans, whenever you come inside can we talk about it?” Ginny asked. 

Harry gave her a warm smile and nodded, “I’ll be in a few minutes. Gotta finish my coffee.” 

She nodded along and with a small smile herself, she walked back inside. 

Harry watched as she walked away. He adored her, her silhouette, her long ginger hair, the sound of her footstep, the curve of her smile, the sound of her voice, he loved it, everything about her and he might be the luckiest man alive to marry the girl he had loved for so long, after all that is what everyone looks forward to one day. His one day was in 2 weeks and he couldn’t wait for it. 

He turned back to the face of London again and in the soft rain of October, he finished his coffee and went back inside to do the last minute discussions of the wedding. 

But when the night came, when the sun had set and the moon had risen with the dark clouds hazing the sky, day turned into night and another day yet to arrive, he still lurked in the darkness of the night over the one last moment from years ago over the branch of a Maple tree nobody knew had ever even been there. The moment locked there that nobody knew of. 

But now, everyone did. 

He had been trying to ignore what happened at the gallery, he didn't answer anyone's questions because he didn't feel like he needed to and even if someone pestered him too much, he would simply walk away. However, It bothered him and it was evident but he didn't want to think of those days or reminisce again in the lost moments. Those days were over but ever since that one look at the Gallery, Harry had been unable to forget him at all.

It was easier before when they had not met each other for years, when they only heard of each other through someone else or saw it in the newspapers but now, old wounds had been cut reopen and blood flew out of them and no bandage worked good enough. Harry found it hard to not think about Draco anymore and it was worrying to him because he didn't like thinking of him anymore, especially after what had happened in the past but when he's lying awake in the night, staring up at the ceiling, he would run little circles over his own hand and think of the forgotten days and mourn over the lost years.

But things had changed, he convinced himself, things had indeed changed.

________________________________

As days spent away, the date of the wedding remained not further than 4 more days and it was suddenly starting to hit Harry that he was about to be bound to someone for the rest of his life and love someone till his lungs give out and just for one last moment, he wanted to feel free again.

"Are you sure you want me to go?" Harry asked for the third time.

Ginny pushed him out of the door and smiled "I want you to go, more because I need time away from you. It's sort of like a before wedding ritual. Now go- shush."

And the door closed with a thud and Harry was left with no option but to leave, though he was quite relieved to do so.

He drove of miles without a destination in his mind but some track song playing on the radio and cool breeze circulating inside his car. It relieved him off so many things, almost feeling like an escape he didn't know he needed and it felt amazing. He finally got the opportunity to see the outskirts of London that he had never been to all this time, the river that comes down the mountains, and the highways he had never had the chance to drive upon. He kept driving with his windows down and the music still playing. He took his hand out of the window and let the air pass through his fingers, and he felt them untangle from something invisible. He felt the breeze travelling through his hand to his neck, to his head and his heart and it unclenched him off so many things and it made him feel happy.

But the moment he had taken a halt and stood outside, leaning against his car, he felt the heaviness in his chest, he felt it clog and unclog and he yearned for something he had been depriving himself off for so many years. He told himself he shouldn't do it, but London have never looked so beautiful and the sky had never been more clear and so he hesitantly convinced himself that he would drive off to a destination he was destined upon since he was 15.

_________________________________

The fallen leaves from old trees crunched under his feet as he walked past many trees, and the sound that seemed to have been sung by the trees when the air passed through them. It was all too beautiful, the smell of the forest, the light of the sun that made it through the canopies, the sound of animals from afar, the dried up leaves over the ground, it was all too beautiful, just like he remembered.

He might've walked a couple more steps and there he finally was, under the same Maple tree from years ago. He smiled as he looked up and searched around the trunk for the step be created to climb up. It took him a while but he found it and climbed upon carefully.

He breathed sharply as he reached the bench and looked further ahead at the scenery and he was stunned to realise that nothing had changed, it was just like he remembered it, just the same that came in his dream so often, just like the one he had daydreamed of ever since he last came here.

He smiled as he grazed the bench next to his own and he felt the memory come alive in his head, the one from the last day.

"Are you scared?" He had asked

Harry nodded, "change is always hard,"

"Are you ?"

Draco nodded, "Change is always hard."

He didn't want to waste away time in pleasantaries or make small talks anymore, they already have lost a lot of it because of it, so he asked "Will you think about me?"

Harry kept watching ahead, not sparing a glance at Draco, he knew he would think of him everyday but he shook his head instead.

"I don't want it to hurt."

Draco nodded even when he was hurt, "I know I will."

Harry finally looked at him, his features so soft that wanted to caress his face but he didn't, he couldn't anymore.

"You will?"

Draco nodded, "I don't want to forget us."

Harry smiled, "We didn't really exist, did we though?"

But Draco had been far too serious and Harry knew it when he faced him and he saw the glitter of tears held back behind his eyelids.

"We did if only for a short while, it was everything."

Harry couldn't say anything, but he wishes he had, he wishes so much that he had that day.

Harry pushed himself upwards and took out his wallet from the back pocket and opened upto a picture of him and Ginny but today he didn't want to look at it. Today, he took out the hidden picture behind it and grazed over it with his fingers to the burnt corner of the picture that he had once tried to burn but had never been able to actually quite do it.

He flipped the photograph and noted the date "October 15, 1997", the same date of his marriage. It was the last of what he had been left of Draco. He had tried multiple times to throw away that picture that Colin had took but everytime he would look at it, his agony would flood inside him and he was push it away into secret.

He gazed at the Draco in the photo again, both of them cuddled together and he found himself giving out a giggle and he thought it was just that, but a tear blocked his glasses and he had to take off his glasses to wipe them off. His heart clenched in his chest a lot more than he had wanted it to and he pressed that photograph against his chest and he let out the tears he had never allowed to drop from 10 years ago, he finally let it hurt and it stung but he let it happen.

___________________________________

Ginny was helping Harry after dinner when she stopped him by holding his hand and made him look at her.

"Harry?"

"Yeah"

"I- wanted to say this, so just hear me out. I've been thinking and I am so happy that we're getting married In a day and I cannot ask for a better man but something have been worrying me"

"worrying you?" He asked confused.

"Ever since the day we came from the Gallery-"

"Not you too-" he huffed

"Please- just let me say. I've been worried that you've been different ever since. I just want to know if you're okay or if there is anything you feel like you want to tell me?" Ginny asked softly.

Harry held her hand softly and replied, "I am fine, you have nothing to worry about."

Ginny didn't look convinced but nodded anyways but she still went on, "Harry- we'll be together forever after a day. Like forever, you realise that don't you? It's not something that ends in a week or two years, it's gonna be forever. I want to know if you're absolutely sure about this ?"

"Gin, you're just getting cold feet about everything. I want to marry you alright. I've never wanted anything more." He assured her.

She smiled at Harry and then finally hugged him.

"I can't wait to be married."

Harry hummed and kissed the top of her head and yet, his mind lingered on the word forever. Together forever.

And suddenly he felt the heaviness in his chest again.

I had never quite planned on writing a part 2 to this but since I posted this on Instagram, i received a couple requests and thought as to why not.

Will have a part 3 though 😀.

After all this time, always the same

Prompt used- kissing the top of other's head| harry and draco finally meet each other years later at a memorial gallery, discovering some buried promises |

" I actually did not know Colin was this good " Harry said impressed as they walked the gallery

" really, who knew that kid was really good " Ron hummed.

" i miss that kid " Harry said as he drown in reminiscents of everyone who died in the war

" I am sure it would mean a great deal that you're here Harry. He always looked upto to you, he lived a nice life " Denis smiled at harry before he departed to he other batch of visitors. It was almost 10 years after war when one day a bunch of Hogwarts student's had received an invitation to the colin memorial gallery. Dennis, his brother had managed to construct certain photographs Colin had taken before he died and decided to put it into his memorial. Apparently Colin always wanted something like that, but his gallery Would've been incomplete if the people he had photographed had not shown up, so this was the reason why a bunch of Hogwarts student's had been given a free pass as a contribution to his memory. Harry was however saddened by the absence of colin. After all this time he still misses all those who died a lot. He learnt it the hard way that he will probably never forget any of them but he can manage to live with it.

It was however surprising how amazingly brilliant Colin's skills were. Nobody knew he had even taken their pictures secretly and it were all too great.

" hey, theres us " Ron said a little too loudly, much to anyone's liking. Harry gave them all a small apologetic smile before he joined Ron to see the photograph hanging over the wall of him, Ron and Hermione.

" seems like a different era, doesn't it ?" Ron nostalgically said.

Hermione nodded besides him as she put her head over Ron's shoulder. 10 years and they're still in love like they were when they were kids. Harry had always been fond of their relationship, not because it's his friends but because of everything it was built upon, the love they have is just for each other, and there probably had never existed other who had walked upon earth who they'd love them more than they loved each other.

" there's you " Ron suddenly pointed a small picture on the bottom

" oh yeah- that's me " harry carefully looked at his solo photograph. He wasn't particularly attentive, looking in some other direction as if he was watching out for something.

" that's forbidden forest " Hermione peeped carefully at the picture

" It might be the courtyard " Harry interjected as he took a few steps away to look at a few more pictures to avoid their questions.

" but harry I'm sure it's forbidden forest, it's the same place where sir- where you fought those dementors, I'm sure " Hermione egged on

" I'm not saying it might not be, might be. I wandered off a lot during 5th year but I'm pretty sure it must've been just the courtyard, Colin wouldn't probably enter the forest " Harry made a point with raised eyebrows. Hermione didn't seem to believe yet nodded forcefully, dropping the matter.

" there's a tons of pictures of you guys here " Someone said from behind Harry and before he had time to register to who it was, his fingers were already intertwined with someone and by the touch, he just knew it was Ginny.

" well he was quite a fan of me " harry smirked at his fiance.

" but still. It's like you were his personal models. Gotta agree though, he was great " Ginny said as she looked at the wall in front of them.

" he was " Harry hummed and walked alongside the rest of the gallery with them.

It wasn't until Ginny got bored of looking at plain walls just with pictures, she left to chat with other people. Hermione and Ron had collected themselves to the other part of the gallery, conversing with a few people. That meant Harry was left alone and he found it quite relieving even if he loved all of them.

He had reached the last of the gallery when his eyes fell upon the same blonde head he had abstained himself from seeing in years. Hundreds of flashbacks flashed back as he tried not to stare at him. It had been years yet even now if Harry passed by him, he'd know he still smells the same. As if he too had sensed Harry's presence, he looked away from the picture to his direction. They only locked eyes for a moment, a moment of weakness before Harry nodded and walked away. He sighed as he walked away, it has been so long, so long yet this feeling doesn't change. He thought staying away would change but it hadn't helped, not a lot to be precise.

Harry walked away deeper in the gallery until he reached the last of halls and stopped there, right there at the last picture. It was the last picture Colin had clicked after which only his broken camera's were set. Harry would be lying if he said he wasn't stunned to see the last picture. It was so weirdly ironic how the last photograph from Colin's collection was the picture marked with the symbolic representation of end of certain other things. Harry longingly stared at the picture, the moment running on his mind like a music reel

" this seems nice doesn't it ?" He asked

" it's more than nice Draco " Harry had replied

" Harry- i-" but he closed his mouth

" what ?" Harry asked him to continue when he was rendered speechless

" nothing " Draco sighed as he leaned back on the tree

" go on, tell me " Harry said as he climbed forward towards him

Draco stared at him long enough as though he was memorising harry deep within his heart.

" you're going to love me the same, right ?" He finally asked.

Harry stared at him, more confused than ever before he cupped Draco's face and said " of course Draco, always the same way "

" even if I do the most wrong in the world ?" Draco asked a strange shadow of sadness covering his eyes, obstructing Harry from reading his eyes.

" you- I- I-"

" it's hard to say ?" Draco asked almost hurt

" Draco, I believe you. I love you, I'll always love you the same way but the definition of most wrong depends on a lot of things but I believe in you, I know you wouldn't do anything that would be the most wrong thing to me in the world" Harry gave him a comforting smile . When Draco didn't say anything he climbed into Draco's lap and rested his head against his Chest, hearing the rapid heartbeats.

" you're afraid of something Draco " Harry said as he analysed his heart rate

" I'm afraid of the ruins " Draco truthfully answered because he was aware of everything he was supposed to be doing.

" ruins ?" Harry asked confused, craning his neck up to look at him, only to find Draco looking far away. He seemed lost.

" we can never be wholly together Harry, I'm always afraid, every moment of my life when I'm with you..I'm afraid you'll wake up from this dream and realise it's all ruins " Draco answered, his lips trembling a bit. Harry snuggled in closer to his chest, he knew he was right..

" you're not a ruined man Draco and this isn't ruins to me " Harry Answered

" am I not ?" Draco asked looking hurt

" y- you're not a ruined man but even if you are, you are my ruined man and I promise to love you the same way, everyday even if this doesn't work out, you get me ?" Harry asked empathetically.

" you must be a fool to fall in love with me " Draco finally said after a few minutes smiling down at harry.

Sensing the light tone Harry smiled up at him " then I am your fool "

" I'd rather never wake up from this dream " Draco smiled at harry lovingly then kissed on the top of his head and just then they heard a shuttering sound, startling them awake from their moment.

If only harry had known what was to happen, he'd had never gotten up and ran for the sound but he had and it had ruined millions of memories that could've been made.

" it's a beautiful picture" a familiar voice said behind Harry. He didn't need to turn around to know who it belonged to, he had grown up Being fond of it.

" while It lasted " Harry replied turning his head to find Draco was now standing next to him

" broken promises, some thing huh"

" I know I kept mine " Harry whispered avoiding looking Draco in the eye

" did you ?" Draco retaliated

" I always did " Harry replied more seriously now than before.

" oh hey, it's the same picture from your albums Harry- didn't see you there malfoy, g-good to see you " Ron suddenly appeared from behind them

" you never really talk about him. One boyfriend huh " Ron added Patting Harry on his back.

" it's because of the ruins " Harry replied smiling at Ron.

Draco turned his head towards Harry that it almost snapped. Harry had already been looking at him when he did, and for a moment just for a moment, everything had vanished from the room except them. The people here didn't matter, it was just them, finally away in their isolation Just with each other without their ruins. It was a moment of weakness where they smiled at each other knowingly that after all this time, always the same.

" Harry, it's your boyfriend from sixth year, the one in the album-"

" Draco, it's the picture from the album, your boyfriend-"

Astoria and Ginny's simultaneously said.

Requests open

Day 25- perfect birthday plans | Day 27- Harry's dance partner

After all this time, always the same - Part 3

Hurt/comfort

There are instances, moments or days where it feels like time has stopped entirely. Its like a broken pendulum watch. All the time when the pendulum had to dangle, it didn’t, meaning the time never turned. 

His broken pendulum were the moments he spent on that tree, only exception was, his clock never worked but every time he’d be at that tree, 5 days later, a week later or 20 or 30 years later, his pendulum would work only then and it would stop once again. 

He’s afraid that he’s spent all his life loving parts of him on different days, just so he may never forget him but maybe in loving parts him on days, it had corrupted him because he knows he’ll never get to love him again and it was very clear with the wedding invitation he received. But now he wishes that he had stopped thinking of him, that he had not loved him on days when everything was falling apart, that he had not loved him every time he was alone because he knew, he didn’t love him anymore and no matter how much he might that he would, he knows he didn’t love him and that was the worst kind of pain.

____________________________________

“So you’re going to his wedding?” Pansy asked while she was helping him pack his things. 

Draco shook his, taping another cardboard box and labeling it ‘books’, “I don’t understand why I should.” 

“Because you’re invited. You do realise that this might be the most prestigious wedding in the entire Wizarding world?” She asked. 

“And I don’t care how prestigious or grand it may be, I’m not going and that’s final,” He replied “Besides I don’t have a plus one if you remember that.” 

“I’ll go with you. I don’t want to miss the grand wedding.” She excitedly replied. 

“I’m not going Pansy.” He declared once again and Pansy defeatedly sighed. 

Hours later he was done packing with only a few things left to go. Pansy had left hours ago and he was by himself with a glass of wine and soft music playing in the background, sorting out the memories in vial carefully so they won’t get mixed up when he came across the most familiar one. 

Harry Potter. 

All memories stored in one single vial, all of them. 

It always confused Draco, how so many memories could be packed in one little vial that was so fragile. Thousand of memories, maybe more in just one single vial but then magic worked in different, beautiful and weird ways. All his loving stored in one jar of glass which could break anytime. 

He wanted to see those memories again but seeing those memories again would give him a reason to stay back in London and right now he wanted nothing to hold him back. He wanted to start over his life in some place new, get a nice job, fall in love all over again and maybe forget about Harry for the last time and forget about the pain he caused Astoria too. Moving away was the only remedy he knew of. Starting over was his only scope and his fearful heart was accepting it. 

When October 15, 2006 came, Draco was ready to leave London, forever maybe. He had planned to maybe never come back and he had made peace with it. He was taking one last look around his empty apartment, saying goodbye to the place which had offered him protection, shelter and what not for several years but his time had now come to say goodbye and not just to the apartment itself but all of London, people, friends, ex lovers, everything. He had nothing to hold him back anymore. 

But as if fate had been written, destiny had been designed, magic had worked in that moment, his cat jumped upon the refrigerator and tossed of the wedding invitation he left to never look at again but right now, he inevitably picked it up and read it again. He knew he didn’t want to go earlier, he still doesn’t want to but when he read Harry’s name on the wedding card, he wondered if Harry had really kept the promise or not, he wanted to know if after all this time, did he still think of him, felt something for him, anything at all. He needed that closure because he didn’t want to remain in one moment forever, he couldn’t do that to himself, not anymore. 

“sir? Shall we take the furniture?” He heard. 

Draco turned around and for a moment he forgot where he was. He looked down at the wedding invite in his hand, then looked back up at the man again and nodded. 

“You take the things away, I’ll be behind you. I just need to make a stop somewhere.” 

___________________________________

He was at the last turn away from the destination of wedding but when he stopped at the red light, his whole world spun and something kept telling him that he shouldn’t go, that maybe he should stop. Maybe it was his 15 year old self telling him that going to his wedding would only bring him misery and pain, or maybe it was his self from months ago who had seen Harry in the gallery who had recently established that he still loved Harry, even if a little bit but when the lights turned from red to green, that he didn’t move forward. His heart was beating loudly in his chest and his mind was doing tricks on him, confusing him, telling him things he didn't want to know. He sat there thinking of turning around altogether and forget Harry from his memories but someone had honked behind him, bringing him back to his senses that he needed to start moving and he did, he hated doing so but he drove forward and he only stopped when he had reached the venue. 

He had finally gotten out of the car and was walking towards the chapel when he saw people getting out of there and he feared that he was too late. He thought that maybe Harry was married after all and there was no longer a wedding to attend. 

But then he heard,

“They would’ve never worked anyway.” 

And that confused Draco which forced him to walk inside the chapel to find no one but Ginny herself sitting there in silence. 

“Ginny?” Draco called out as he walked closer to her. 

She turned her head around and smiled at him warmly. She pointed him to come closer and he did and sat down next to her. 

“Weren’t you supposed to be getting married right now?” 

Ginny nodded, her eyes shone with tears. 

"Not anymore." She replied.

Draco couldn't figure what to say anymore or if he should say anything at all even but then Ginny herself started speaking,

“You know, all my life I’ve waited for this day. The day I would get married, and the one would spend the rest of my life with, that my wedding day would make me the happiest person alive, that maybe I'd have everything I had ever dreamt of but I had never, never once in my life thought that this is how my wedding day would be.” Her voice cracked as a tear slipped down her face and in the moment Draco wanted to wipe it away but he knew he shouldn't because some tears are worth falling.

"This was supposed to be the happiest day of your life?” 

“It was supposed to be.” She replied with a small smile.  

“Then what happened?” 

"Love. That's what happened." She replied.

"But you loved each other, didn't you?" He asked.

"We did. We did so much but sometimes when you love someone, you have to let them go." She replied.

And he needed no more than that.

____________________________________

"When did you know?" Draco asked as he twirled his finger around Harry's hair while they were cuddled into one another.

"Know what?" Harry asked pushing his quill away so he could pay his attention to Draco.

"When did you know that you liked me?" Draco asked with the warmest of smiles.

Harry shrugs off with a smile, "Could've been anytime. I never noted down the moment I fell for you, I just knew I fell for my supposed arch nemesis."

"Do you think there would be a time where we wouldn't have to do this secretly?" Draco asked in all seriousness.

Harry could not have been sure, even then, but he liked to hope, so he nodded, "I think that maybe 20 or 30 years later, we won't have to hide. I just wish it'd happen sooner."

"And what if something goes wrong before out future arrives?"

Harry was worried, if only for an instant, he was but he trusted the man he loved so much that when he kissed his forehead, he took all the pain, the sufferings, the stress, the unprecedented end away,

"I'll love you the same."

"Always?"

"Always."

Promises are easier said than done. Most promises are often one sided and that might the harshest truth someone might ever come across but sometimes when you love someone, you don't look at those flaws.

And he too had fatality once loved someone and now he had one last chance. One last chance to know whether his love would win or die in ruins.

All his life he had made broken promises in the name of love, promised someone a future, promised someone a date, promised someone a holiday, promised someone to love but had never been able to fulfill it and he had never quite understood what was the reason but today when he saw that beautiful bride in tears who let her to be husband go in the name of love, he realised that it was all in the name of love. He was stuck in a labyrinth of loving Harry that he never let anyone in, nor let anyone out. He was his own problem and either tonight he needed a closure so he could finally sleep at last or a love story his 15 year old self wished for, the one where they have a future together, the one he often dreamt of.

And so he drove to the place he hoped where Harry would be.

And there he was, sitting on the branch of the Maple tree.

"I'm going to assume that you went to the wedding?"

Draco agreed as he climbed up that Maple tree and approached the bench while Harry made space for him.

"I even met your bride." He told him once he reached the bench.

"My supposed bride that is." Harry corrected.

Draco wanted to bring in a humour, a sarcastic Limerick even but he noticed how Harry was holding a picture in his hand. It was Ginny and him.

"I thought you loved each other?" Draco asked.

Harry smiled, staring forward at the view.

"We did."

"I don't understand what happened then? If you loved one another then why is she there and you're here. You should've been getting married." Draco said.

Harry finally turned a little to Draco and showed him his wallet with their picture.

"I once loved a boy. Around 15 to 16-ish. He was my whole world, whole damn world, the kind of love when you're head over heels for someone. If one day he had asked to murder for him, I'd had done it. I'd had killed a thousand for him. But we broke apart because he did the one thing I could've never imagined him to do but no matter how much I tried, I couldn't stop loving him, not even for his flaws, his mistakes or his betrayal. I could never stop loving him. That's what happened. Love happened. He happened. I couldn't do it and she knew."

Draco couldn't bring himself to say anything. All his life, he had thought that Harry had moved on but upon seeing him dressed in his black suit, runaway from his own wedding, he didn't know what to think.

"I'm a liar Draco," Harry said looking at the picture, "I told myself everyday that I didn't love you, that I didn't think of you everyday of my life, I even promised you I wouldn't think of us but I did everyday. I carried this picture with me everyday of my life just as a reminder,"

"You know how they say, your first love hurts you the most, it's true. You hurt me the most"

Draco kept staring at Harry, thinking that maybe now he'd say something again, that maybe now he'd add something but he didn't.

And then he took out his own wallet and showed Harry the picture he's been carrying around for almost 10 years himself.

"I keep this because it reminds me of a time I knew how to love. I've been with people after you, several even but every night when I go to sleep I wonder only one thing, Do you ever think of me and then I would fight with my own self because why would you ever want to think of me, the one who hurt you the most but there was this one little part of me, this one tiny little part of myself who wished that you thought of me at the same while I was thinking of you,"

He gave it a pause to breathe, to push down the knot that formed in his throat, to breathe a little and then he continued,

"But little part of myself loses everyday. I wanted to know why I could not stop loving you, I still want to know. I've hurt people in the name of love but I don't know how to find that answer as why you were the only one I could love."

Harry smiled lightly looking at Draco's wallet, "Why do we have to stop loving when all we have ever known is nothing but love?"

Draco smiled immediately. Harry had quoted him from years ago.

"You should not have left her." Draco said.

"I didn't. She let me go." Harry shrugged.

"Do you think I was the reason ?" Draco asked.

Harry nodded, "A little. I think after you, I only loved parts of someone and she didn't deserve someone who would love only her heart but not her soul and she knew that. I regret that I couldn't give her everything she had ever dreamt off but she's better off without me."

"Do you really think that's true?"

Harry nodded, "I also think I should not have lied to you the last day we met,"

"Then why did you lie?"

"Lying makes everything easier."

Draco nodded, "Then I stopped loving you the last time we were here"

"I stopped loving you too."

But they sat there for hours, this time there was no one to capture their moment together, this time there were no secrets, this time there was vulnerability, there was fragility, there was something worth sitting there.

Indeed magic works in the most weirdly beautiful ways possible but sometimes magic isn't the charms that spark out of a wand of a wizard, sometimes magic gets bind in the words between lovers, like a promise. Magic isn't always a charm, sometimes Magic is love itself.

And maybe after all this time, it's still the same.

This was supposed to be so much more better than this but I can't humanly function because I got sick. But I'm hoping this isn't half as bad as i think it to be.

Ps. Thank you @drarrywords for beta 💜( don't know what I'd do without you)

After all this time, always the same

Prompt used- kissing the top of other’s head| harry and draco finally meet each other years later at a memorial gallery, discovering some buried promises |

“ I actually did not know Colin was this good ” Harry said impressed as they walked the gallery

“ really, who knew that kid was really good ” Ron hummed.

“ i miss that kid ” Harry said as he drown in reminiscents of everyone who died in the war

“ I am sure it would mean a great deal that you’re here Harry. He always looked upto to you, he lived a nice life ” Denis smiled at harry before he departed to he other batch of visitors. It was almost 10 years after war when one day a bunch of Hogwarts student’s had received an invitation to the colin memorial gallery. Dennis, his brother had managed to construct certain photographs Colin had taken before he died and decided to put it into his memorial. Apparently Colin always wanted something like that, but his gallery Would’ve been incomplete if the people he had photographed had not shown up, so this was the reason why a bunch of Hogwarts student’s had been given a free pass as a contribution to his memory. Harry was however saddened by the absence of colin. After all this time he still misses all those who died a lot. He learnt it the hard way that he will probably never forget any of them but he can manage to live with it.

It was however surprising how amazingly brilliant Colin’s skills were. Nobody knew he had even taken their pictures secretly and it were all too great.

“ hey, theres us ” Ron said a little too loudly, much to anyone’s liking. Harry gave them all a small apologetic smile before he joined Ron to see the photograph hanging over the wall of him, Ron and Hermione.

“ seems like a different era, doesn’t it ?” Ron nostalgically said.

Hermione nodded besides him as she put her head over Ron’s shoulder. 10 years and they’re still in love like they were when they were kids. Harry had always been fond of their relationship, not because it’s his friends but because of everything it was built upon, the love they have is just for each other, and there probably had never existed other who had walked upon earth who they’d love them more than they loved each other.

“ there’s you ” Ron suddenly pointed a small picture on the bottom

“ oh yeah- that’s me ” harry carefully looked at his solo photograph. He wasn’t particularly attentive, looking in some other direction as if he was watching out for something.

“ that’s forbidden forest ” Hermione peeped carefully at the picture

“ It might be the courtyard ” Harry interjected as he took a few steps away to look at a few more pictures to avoid their questions.

“ but harry I’m sure it’s forbidden forest, it’s the same place where sir- where you fought those dementors, I’m sure ” Hermione egged on

“ I’m not saying it might not be, might be. I wandered off a lot during 5th year but I’m pretty sure it must’ve been just the courtyard, Colin wouldn’t probably enter the forest ” Harry made a point with raised eyebrows. Hermione didn’t seem to believe yet nodded forcefully, dropping the matter.

“ there’s a tons of pictures of you guys here ” Someone said from behind Harry and before he had time to register to who it was, his fingers were already intertwined with someone and by the touch, he just knew it was Ginny.

“ well he was quite a fan of me ” harry smirked at his fiance.

“ but still. It’s like you were his personal models. Gotta agree though, he was great ” Ginny said as she looked at the wall in front of them.

“ he was ” Harry hummed and walked alongside the rest of the gallery with them.

It wasn’t until Ginny got bored of looking at plain walls just with pictures, she left to chat with other people. Hermione and Ron had collected themselves to the other part of the gallery, conversing with a few people. That meant Harry was left alone and he found it quite relieving even if he loved all of them.

He had reached the last of the gallery when his eyes fell upon the same blonde head he had abstained himself from seeing in years. Hundreds of flashbacks flashed back as he tried not to stare at him. It had been years yet even now if Harry passed by him, he’d know he still smells the same. As if he too had sensed Harry’s presence, he looked away from the picture to his direction. They only locked eyes for a moment, a moment of weakness before Harry nodded and walked away. He sighed as he walked away, it has been so long, so long yet this feeling doesn’t change. He thought staying away would change but it hadn’t helped, not a lot to be precise.

Harry walked away deeper in the gallery until he reached the last of halls and stopped there, right there at the last picture. It was the last picture Colin had clicked after which only his broken camera’s were set. Harry would be lying if he said he wasn’t stunned to see the last picture. It was so weirdly ironic how the last photograph from Colin’s collection was the picture marked with the symbolic representation of end of certain other things. Harry longingly stared at the picture, the moment running on his mind like a music reel

“ this seems nice doesn’t it ?” He asked

“ it’s more than nice Draco ” Harry had replied

“ Harry- i-” but he closed his mouth

“ what ?” Harry asked him to continue when he was rendered speechless

“ nothing ” Draco sighed as he leaned back on the tree

“ go on, tell me ” Harry said as he climbed forward towards him

Draco stared at him long enough as though he was memorising harry deep within his heart.

“ you’re going to love me the same, right ?” He finally asked.

Harry stared at him, more confused than ever before he cupped Draco’s face and said “ of course Draco, always the same way ”

“ even if I do the most wrong in the world ?” Draco asked a strange shadow of sadness covering his eyes, obstructing Harry from reading his eyes.

“ you- I- I-”

“ it’s hard to say ?” Draco asked almost hurt

“ Draco, I believe you. I love you, I’ll always love you the same way but the definition of most wrong depends on a lot of things but I believe in you, I know you wouldn’t do anything that would be the most wrong thing to me in the world” Harry gave him a comforting smile . When Draco didn’t say anything he climbed into Draco’s lap and rested his head against his Chest, hearing the rapid heartbeats.

“ you’re afraid of something Draco ” Harry said as he analysed his heart rate

“ I’m afraid of the ruins ” Draco truthfully answered because he was aware of everything he was supposed to be doing.

“ ruins ?” Harry asked confused, craning his neck up to look at him, only to find Draco looking far away. He seemed lost.

“ we can never be wholly together Harry, I’m always afraid, every moment of my life when I’m with you..I’m afraid you’ll wake up from this dream and realise it’s all ruins ” Draco answered, his lips trembling a bit. Harry snuggled in closer to his chest, he knew he was right..

“ you’re not a ruined man Draco and this isn’t ruins to me ” Harry Answered

“ am I not ?” Draco asked looking hurt

“ y- you’re not a ruined man but even if you are, you are my ruined man and I promise to love you the same way, everyday even if this doesn’t work out, you get me ?” Harry asked empathetically.

“ you must be a fool to fall in love with me ” Draco finally said after a few minutes smiling down at harry.

Sensing the light tone Harry smiled up at him “ then I am your fool ”

“ I’d rather never wake up from this dream ” Draco smiled at harry lovingly then kissed on the top of his head and just then they heard a shuttering sound, startling them awake from their moment.

If only harry had known what was to happen, he’d had never gotten up and ran for the sound but he had and it had ruined millions of memories that could’ve been made.

“ it’s a beautiful picture” a familiar voice said behind Harry. He didn’t need to turn around to know who it belonged to, he had grown up Being fond of it.

“ while It lasted ” Harry replied turning his head to find Draco was now standing next to him

“ broken promises, some thing huh”

“ I know I kept mine ” Harry whispered avoiding looking Draco in the eye

“ did you ?” Draco retaliated

“ I always did ” Harry replied more seriously now than before.

“ oh hey, it’s the same picture from your albums Harry- didn’t see you there malfoy, g-good to see you ” Ron suddenly appeared from behind them

“ you never really talk about him. One boyfriend huh ” Ron added Patting Harry on his back.

“ it’s because of the ruins ” Harry replied smiling at Ron.

Draco turned his head towards Harry that it almost snapped. Harry had already been looking at him when he did, and for a moment just for a moment, everything had vanished from the room except them. The people here didn’t matter, it was just them, finally away in their isolation Just with each other without their ruins. It was a moment of weakness where they smiled at each other knowingly that after all this time, always the same.

“ Harry, it’s your boyfriend from sixth year, the one in the album-”

“ Draco, it’s the picture from the album, your boyfriend-”

Astoria and Ginny’s simultaneously said.

Requests open

Day 25- perfect birthday plans | Day 27- Harry’s dance partner

The much awaited final part of All Too Well.

Firstly we're sorry for taking an immensely long time to post, it wasn't supposed to happen but did 😔.

Secondly, this fiction has undeniably became a huge part of both of our lives and we had never really thought of it but we hope you all liked it all as much we liked writing it (no matter how overwhelming it became at times for us).

And lastly this is for you @drarrywords- I've said it before and I'll say it over and over again, it has been an honour working with you. This was my first ever collaboration with anyone in my entire life and there's nobody I would rather collaborate for the first time but you. What you bought out in the fiction in the million calls we did, I wouldn't ever want to do that with anyone. I loved each and every day I worked with you, even when we ditched actually talking about ideas and started talking about the most random things, I loved it. All too well isn't all too well without you and it's crazy how it was supposed to just be a 6k words prompt you wanted to write and within months time it became this crazy ass long fanfic, but I wouldn't change a thing about it, everything was worth it. So thank you, for getting along with me on this and never taking even a single criticism to your heart. I love you till Draco loves Harry and Harry loves Draco 💜🦋. Toast to one and only, my fellow writer @drarrywords

Feel free to ask us any questions about the fic or in general, we're here for you 💜

Much love..xx

All Too Well

This fic is written in collaboration by @sorry-i-ship-drarry and @drarrywords on an anon request.

Part one available here

Part two available here

Part three available here

Part Four (12K words)

warning: character death.

"You will remember memories because memories are whispers of fantasies that became real, memories are stories and a trace of the memories, shimmers within you.

In dusk, or in the light of dawn in the cities or in the semi-slumber at twilight. Memories will remain with you forever, beyond the fickle world of supernovas of stars and the slow collapse of our universes.

You will remember them because memories are whispers of fantasies that became real, memories are stories and a trace of the memories, shimmers within you.

In dusk, or in the light of dawn in the cities or in the semi-slumber at twilight. Memories will remain with you forever, beyond the fickle world of supernovas of stars and the slow collapse of our universes."

Pale, soft sunlight rustles through the clouds, raindrops on the bedroom window, dew on the leaves and soft mist in the air and there is a sweet scent of petrichor in it.

He searches for his name in his contacts and dials him. On the other end of the line, he can hear the sound of his soft breaths, “Harry?”

A tear slides down his cheek when he hears the sound of his voice, a voice he has wanted to hear in the silent nights or in the hours of dusk. But he can't string together the correct sequence of words to describe it, “You broke up with me over this?”

“I’m sorry, I thought if you heard the truth, it’ll break you.”

“But we would’ve had more time together.”

Now, there is a silence on the other side and he can hear his own heart break and soon, he might break too, “Is there a chance that you have more time?”

“Yes, yes eight days, all yours.” Draco whispers into the phone with a soft sob and it clenches at his heartstrings a bit too tight because he doesn’t want to hear him cry. Or he might cry, too.

“Major swoon.”

“Harry, where are you?”

Harry reaches out, a slight tremble to his hand and rings the doorbell.

He hears the sound of his faint footsteps through the phone and soon, the door opens and Draco stands there, his mouth caught open in a small 'o'.

He has semi-dark rings underneath his eyes, his skin has lost the soft, warm tone. He is in a maroon sweater, soft and pristine with a golden H in the centre. It's his sweater.

Harry inches closer to him and in the silence outside, he reruns the voicemail he had received.

“Hey, Harry. It's Draco, I'm sure you remember me. Or not. If I were you, I wouldn't remember me. But I'm sorry, Harry. I'm sorry I said that I don't love you. It wasn't true, none of that was true. I once said that I love you more than starlight, that we could be in other universes and in other timelines and I will love you there and in the different timelines and that was the truth. I said don't doubt that, don't believe me if I say otherwise but you did and I'm sorry for that.

But why did you believe me, Harry?

Or why did you believe me when I said that the universe where we travel to Paris, Munich and Amsterdam and fall in love over and over, a universe where we're together isn't ours? I want it to be ours, it could've been ours. But there is a reason it isn't. I don't have much time.

Harry, if we had more time together, that universe would've been ours and now, I wish it would've been ours sooner. In other universes, we're together, side by side and in one, we're not together. In one, I might be on my way to you. But in this one, I won't be here with you.

I don't want you to doubt if I love you or not, because I do. I love you more than starlight and throughout our lives, if I say otherwise, it won't be the truth. We could be in other universes, in other timelines and I would love you there and through different timelines and I want to hold on to that love.

The stars and the infinite universes will collapse before I cease to love you. I'm sorry, we could've had it all. But the universe has become too huge now and I want to hold on to you. One last time.”

He whispers, with a soft crack to his voice while tears trickle down his cheek. A small knot forms in his throat, “I'm here.”

“You heard the voicemail.” The words come out choked and in a soft whisper and his fingers tremble on his side, his phone held in his hand a bit too tight.

He holds out his hand to him and with a soft sob, his arms curl around him as he pulls Harry into a tight embrace, his face buried in his neck, “You heard it, you're here now.”

He wants to resist the desire to return it because there is much to be said but he is here now and he has wanted to be with him, to hold him for months now and he wants to do that, “Yes, yes I heard your voicemail and I'm back home, I'm back home to you.”

✵•. ✵°✵.｡.✰.｡. ✵°✵.•✵

The small wisps of cloud swirl in the sky, with a soft tint of tangerine and pink and the wind hums in a soft tune and with it, there is a scent of the oncoming night.

"Details, I want the details. I want the what and the when and I want the why."

“Oh, what is it? It's because of the cruciatus curse and because it was cast on me over and over for such long durations and that is fatal. The when - when I was back home from London, that is when I had the results back and I'm not sure what details you want in the why."

Oh, he wants several details in the why but he can't string the words together because there is a constriction in his throat and tears in the corners of his eyes, "Harry?"

Draco reaches up and presses his hand against his cheek. He turns his face into the curve of his palm and kisses it while tears slide down his cheeks, "Baby, what is it?"

"Isn't there a fraction of a chance that we can reverse this? Isn't there a cure we can find? Or a charm or a new potion or -"

"Harry, baby," He places a finger underneath his chin and tilts his head up towards him with the softest smile and tears in his own eyes, "we can't reverse this and now, there is no more time - eight days, not more and I want to be with you."

"But why did you do that?" Harry turns his head and the tip of his nose brushes his cheek, "you said you didn't love me and you broke both our hearts when you could've been honest and we would've had more time together."

Draco reaches out and interlaces their fingers together, "Because I couldn't do that to you, I couldn't break your heart with the truth. But I could break it with lies. Question is, why did you believe them, Harry?"

"Oh, no, not once did I believe your lies or doubt your love, or that you love me more than starlight because love isn't words, Draco. It's more than that."

"If it's not words, what is it?"

"Oh, love is a secret language between two hearts, a language without words. You can hear the whisper of love in the silence. You've heard mine and I've heard yours."

Draco rests his forehead on his shoulder, his fingers curl into his shirt and tighten when he whispers, "Yes, love might be a language but words are beautiful, Harry and I want you to hear that I love you, I love you, I love you."

"Draco." He brushes their lips together, light and soft but it sends a faint shiver down his spine. He wants to return that with an I love you of his own but he becomes wordless. He wants to build a universe, one where there would be more time, where there would be cities and secret destinations where he can fall in love with Draco over and over. A universe where he comes back home to him.

“I hear you,” Draco whispers as he clinks their foreheads together, his hands tentative against his chest, "Stay with me?"

“Until the end.”

✵•. ✵°✵.｡.✰.｡. ✵°✵.•✵

“I read about prisms and the physics of it.” Draco whispers into the soft silence of the night, his head tilted up at the night sky. The moon casts a faint, yet desolate light in the sky, clouds drifting like veils across it. Flecks of stars dot the lilac-grey sky.

“Mhm, what did you find out?”

“The basics of it, that when light passes through a prism, it forms a spectrum of seven colours and I thought more on that and I thought that water droplets are the small prisms in the sky and when sunlight passes through the infinite water droplets, it forms a rainbow in the sky,”

“Yes, the more scientific term for that is the dispersion of light.”

Draco breathes out a soft breath and it forms a cloud of air in front of him, “Sure, but isn’t it brilliant that those small droplets and the sunlight together can result in such a beautiful phenomenon?”

Harry intertwines their fingers together, “Mhm, now to break that down into a more non-metaphorical sentence, the smallest reasons can light you up and colour your world?”

“No, that is a shit logic because none of that is true and if you believe that, it’s tragic.”

Harry inches closer to him, his mouth close to Draco’s ear and whispers, “Oh, but is it tragic that you’re all of those small but infinite reasons for me?”

A faint shade of red tints Draco’s cheeks.

“Oh, now don’t flatter me and hear me out - the water droplets are small pieces of you, of your heart and soul and the sunlight is the one you love and when you’re with them, light falls on those small pieces and that colours your skies in those seven vibrant shades.”

Harry hums, “Yeah, that is more beautiful logic than mine and by the said logic of yours, you are the light that falls over the prism of my heart and soul and your light colours my skies in those vibrant shades.”

A beautiful, remarkable light fills his silver eyes and there, that light falls over his heart and soul and colours his skies in more colours than the seven vibrant ones. He is the music within him, beautiful like the rustle of light between leaves, a tune of his heart, soft like the song of the stars and a stanza of his favourite poem, the one that he holds within his heart, “Is that so?”

Harry places a small kiss on his cheekbone, “Yes but because I’m sort of curious, do I happen to be the light that falls over the prism of your heart and soul? Is it mutual? It better be mutual or I will be heartbroken.”

It elicits a soft laugh out of Draco.

“Oh, wouldn’t you like to know?”

✵•. ✵°✵.｡.✰.｡. ✵°✵.•✵

“Do you remember our date?” Draco whispers that night while he reads out poems from a book with his head on his chest, the book between them. The soft timbre, the cadence of his voice when he reads poems - it's beautiful.

“Baby, we've had a thousand dates over the years, which one?”

“Our second date, you were such a charmer.”

Harry brushes a light feather light kiss over his cheekbone, "Yes, I remember that date."

"Remember when you decided to change the crosswalk symbol lights for me and I said that it was romantic?"

"Yes, I remember that I said I would move mountains for you in the name of romance."

Draco inches closer to him and their lips brush together when he whispers, "I would do the same for you - move mountains in the name of romance."

"Oh, would you, now?"

"You shouldn't doubt that, I would change the crosswalk symbol light for you."

"No, you won't, that isn't your style of romance, it's mine."

"I would rewrite the name of our favorite stars and change it to your name instead?"

The corners of his mouth curve into a soft smile, "Now, that is more your style of romance, love."

But by now, his mind traces back to that summer night with clear skies and a thousand stars - the night of the second date.

A sweet scent in the night air, ice cream parlours around every corner, even the french windows wide open, the rhyme of psithurism so vivid in the heat haze. Summertime is a beautiful dream, it's the brush of the warm air on your skin, clear skies and the soft flow of rivers.

On this summer night, he is outside his office with a date in mind.

Harry breathes out a slow, trembling breath while he checks the time in his wristwatch. It reads 9:52:02 PM. Now, with eight more minutes to spare, he dials him. It rings five times before Draco is on the other end of the line, “Harry?”

“Hey, I assume you’re still in the office by yourself with a stack of paperwork on your desk that you don’t want to do or care about, for that matter?”

“Yeah, it’s rather unfortunate.”

“Not that I want to bother you but do you have moments to spare for a call?”

He hears a soft rustle of the said paperwork and the click of his pen, “Well actually, the break starts in four minutes or so -you know, never mind, work can wait for once - yes, yes I have a few moments”

“So, how much time do you have?”

“Oh, eight minutes, all yours.”

Harry can’t resist a small smile of his own here because that might’ve not been intentional but it endears him, “Major swoon, it’s romantic of you to sacrifice your work hours for a call.”

“Harry, I will block your number.”

“Will you, now?”

“I - no, yes, what the fuck, Harry?”

It elicits a soft chuckle out of him, “Now that we’ve established you won’t block me, what plans do you have for dinner? Same old black coffee and chicken salad?”

“Harry, you make it sound so dull but if you must know, I’m heading out for burgers and chips, there is a small burger joint on the corner of the street and I’ve heard that it’s the best burger in the city - what are your plans?”

Shit, that he hadn’t thought of but right off the top of his head, he says, “Oh, I - chicken pasta with wine and dessert and a movie but I’m waiting for someone to show up, he isn’t here yet.”

“You - wait, you have a date?” His voice is light, clipped and superficial, a tone that was all too familiar to him and now, he has to resist the incessant desire to laugh here because if he does, it’ll ruin the surprise and you can’t blame him for this, not when Draco rescheduled four dates.

“Mhm, yes I do.”

“He isn’t there yet?”

“No, not yet.”

“Well, it’s not good etiquette if you have to wait for him.”

“I’m sure he has his reasons”

Draco remains silent for a moment but Harry can hear the sound of faint footsteps, “Well, are you afraid he stood you up?”

“Not really. I know he’ll show up.”

“Oh, how are you so sure?”

The door in front of him opens and there he is, in front of Harry. Small strands of blond hair fall over his forehead and one rests over his right eye. It trembles in the faint wind. His steps falter while the door closes behind him with a soft thud, “Because, he’s here.”

“Oh I bet, I bet.” He whispers that into the phone before he ends the call and slips it back in and inches closer to him, the corners of his mouth curving into the softest smile. It's contagious.

“Can I take you out on a date?”

“Yes, but remember, no more than eight minutes, Harry.”

“Good, ‘cause those eight minutes are all I need.”

Not that he wants to oversell himself here because most of his spontaneous plans turn out to be delightful or turn into one of the worst case scenarios one couldn't have thought of and the only worst case scenario here would be rain in summer. Or a meteor crash.

“You’re sure that 8 minutes will be enough?"

"Yes, I’m sure.”

The time in his watch now is 9:58:00.

Harry holds out an arm to him and a subtle smile graces his face while he curls his fingers around his arm with a tight but gentle grip, "Our date starts soon, we should rush."

He rushes to the curb but the crosswalk lights show a red hand and he must've done the calculations wrong because it shouldn't show that and because he has no patience, he casts a charm on it to cross the street and it's not his proudest moment because he is 99 per-cent sure that isn't legal and his defence might not hold well in court but is on a clock here.

"Romantic of you to change the crosswalk light symbol for me."

"Oh, I'll move mountains for you in the name of romance.”

It elicits a soft chuckle out of Draco.

The two of them cross the intersection to the other side of the curb and towards one of the buildings on that street, in a row of the same worn-out, red-brick ones, "Wait, why here?"

"Not here but the rooftop and I would reveal the specifics of ‘why’ if we had more time here but we're in a rush, I said it would be an eight minute date and there is a staircase involved, too."

“Oh, well that is fair.”

With that, the two of them reach to the rooftop through the stairs with a soft, light-hearted flirt-fest between them and outside, on that rooftop, the soft summer breeze brushes over their skin and the clear skies hold several stars. It’s 10:00:00 and the next few minutes are now theirs.

The rooftop was fairly decorated with golden-silver fairy lights and the light shaded parasol.

On the floor, there is an array of pillows, blankets and sheets and there is a radio on one corner and a slow music drifts there, a song that he hasn’t heard before but the instrumentals are soft and light-hearted.

“Harry, it’s beautiful out here.”

“Yes, but this isn’t the main reason we’re here, I have a surprise for you.” Harry rushed towards the entrance of the door and picked up the flower crowns in his hands and walked back to Draco.

“A flower crown?”

“Bouquets are overrated, I would do that but I’m sure you find this much better.”

Draco smiles that beautiful, brilliant smile of his and leanes down nonetheless so Harry can place the crown over his head. “Yeah, there, you look pretty.”

“So do you.”

Harry takes Draco by his arm towards the sheets on the floor and settles down there with him and with that, he whistles into the silence there, slow and soft, “Wait, was that a whistle?”

“Wait for it.”

A small bark sounds at a distance and three puppies run towards him as if they were in a mini race of their own with a metaphorical line to cross. But while the other two slow down and halt there, Louie races towards him instead and stumbles over the blanket and falls in front of him.

“Draco, this is Louie and we call him Lou.”

Draco holds out his palm to Louie, who wags his tail and places a paw in his hand and the softest smile, softer than the feather crosses his lips and his eyes light up, too and there, their eyes meet once more, “You remembered.”

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I?”

One night, over a call and in a silent moment, he had mentioned that he wanted puppies in his house, too and that it was tragic that he didn’t have one,“Because I thought I was subtle, I thought you wouldn’t remember.”

But he did because he had committed it to memory in the nights filled with endless chatter, texts and bright screens. Or when the morning sun would soothe him out of slumber and when his eyes would focus on the texts of the night before when his phone would light up with one more text, “But I do.”

“Now, you have not one but three puppies here but since we’re on a clock, you have six and half minutes with them and I want to introduce you to the other two since our Louie here introduced himself.”

“Oh, but he is a delight.”

Harry holds one of the other puppies that stumbles towards him and strokes her red, silky coat while she reaches for his fingers to chew on them, no doubt, but in vain. Instead, he reaches out for a box on one side and removes a ball for her to chew on, “Now, this is Artemis, she is like the baby of the trio.”

Draco scratches the back of her ear but she is too invested in her own tactics here and Archie is more interested in the treats in the box because he is on a mission to open it with his small paws and whatever strength he has in him, “Question, which one of the two is you?”

“Oh, not you, too.”

Draco kisses the top of Louie’s head before he stumbles out of his reach and runs towards Archie to open that box of treats with him, “Sue me if I’m incorrect here, but in this mini-trio, Louie is you.”

“Oh, is that why you have a sudden obsession with him?”

“Why, yes that is the reason but he has a sudden obsession with me, too.”

A delicate shade of crimson blossoms across his cheeks.

“I must mention this, Artemis and you are similar, you’re both such babies.” Harry tells Draco and in response he receives a mock-gasp in return.

“Well and I must mention that Bella would not be too thrilled now that you’re with them.”

“Oh well, when has Bella ever been fond of me? Not that it matters all that much but she is more fond of you than me and it shouldn’t be that way, I deserve more love from her.”

“I’m more lovable than you.”

The next two minutes dissolve in soft laughs, light banter and the sound of music echoing there and the sounds of the moving city more distant. The tilt of his smile, the crinkles by the corners of his silver eyes, or the soft sound of his laugh while Louie troubles him with Archie and Artemis. It’s more beautiful than the night itself. “Now, the moment of truth - this was the best, thank you.”

“Wait, who said there isn’t one more surprise left?” On his side, he texts a ‘now’ in all caps to one of his friends and right on cue the fireworks went off in the distance, a magnificent sight, the vivid red, orange, purple and green colours on the canvas of the night sky that shatters into a thousand sparks.

Draco interlaces their fingers together once more, his voice breathless as he whispers his name. A slight touch of those lights catches in his silver eyes, glimmering with awe and his smile ever so contagious.

Harry strokes Artemis’ silky coat with a slight smile of his own as he watches the mini-trio side by side, together, their eyes on the fireworks, curious and fascinated by the vibrant lights in the sky.

One final, brilliant flash of light went up in the sky and broke into sparks and with that it’s over.

“Harry, that was beautiful,”

“No, it wasn’t as beautiful as you are.” A brilliant shade of crimson colours his cheeks and for that, he places a kiss on his cheeks, shy and tentative, which turns it into a much brighter shade.

Harry checks his wrist watch once more and tilts his head towards the beautiful view of the skyline and he wants to stay here, he wants the clocks to cease for one night and be here until the darkness clears and the sun rises filling the sky with shades of hazel, golden and red but he knew he can’t, so, he enjoys the last one minute he have with Draco under the lights of hundreds silver stars that float overhead.

“The night will be over soon, we’re out of time.”

Now, with that the two of them return back there, a soft silence between them and their fingers interlaced and once they reach the destination, they stay there with no more than thirty seconds left for the night to be over, “It was a beautiful night, thank you.”

“Is there a chance that I might’ve earned a goodnight kiss?”

Draco inches closer and brushes their lips together in a light manner — and still that light touch sends shivers through his spine and his body trembles in the slightest, “Goodnight, Harry.”

When the 30 seconds were over, he went back in with the flower crown and a slight smile of his own.

It’s a beautiful summer night.

✵•. ✵°✵.｡.✰.｡. ✵°✵.•✵

A beautiful amethyst-purple tint invades the late night summer skies, with the soft lights of a thousand stars and a crescent moon. The wind brushes over their skin, warm and tender.

"I read a myth that the wishes on the lanterns we release in the sky are caught by the stars and that our wishes remain there but as soon as the wishes are fulfilled, the stars fall."

Draco lights the fuel source of the lantern when he does, he traces his fingertips over the wish he had written on it in his elegant cursive.

He wants to hear more of that.

Because it's beautiful that he has read the myths, stories, ancient legends or that he has his own theories.

Harry reads it once and he wishes that the stars catch the wish, one that was decided together, and that it falls when it becomes true, "Oh, but we wish on the falling stars too, don't we?"

"True, but it's said that when a star falls, it carries one last wish with it."

He tilts his head with a soft hum while the two of them hold the lantern at the bottom, around the structural ring, "If that is true, a star better hold catch our wish."

He sends him a slight smile, his eyes softer around the corners while he whispers, "It will."

Together, they release the lantern into the air and it's beautiful, warm light is vibrant while it ascends in the night sky, "Beautiful, isn't it?"

Harry reaches out and brushes the back of his fingers over his cheek, "Yes, it's beautiful."

Draco kisses his fingertips, a feather light brush of his lips and it sends shivers down his spine, "I want you to have it back."

"You want me to have what back?"

"Turn around and close your eyes." He whispers into the silence, his voice soft and a touch hesitant with a slight tremble to it.

He tilts his head at the sky, towards the lantern that is much smaller now and with a soft hum, he turns around and closes his eyes.

A cold metal touches his skin, over his chest and his fingers reach towards it. A single tear trickles down his cheek while he holds it close.

It's the moonstone ring.

Draco's warm breath brushes over his neck while he clasps the chain there, "You once said that your heart will be with me. Mine will be with you, too. Always. It's yours. All of it."

He places his fingers over Draco’s wrist so tightly that he can feel the throb of his pulse against his fingers, the press of his skin against Draco’s veins, "All of it?"

"All of it."

✵•. ✵°✵.｡.✰.｡. ✵°✵.•✵

The flames of the fireplace dance through the amber liquid of the glass in his hand, the hearth fire has now burnt down to embers and it casts a soft, warm light over the room.

The sound of the movie is drowned out by the soft laughs and the lighthearted banter in the room but there was a weight over their hearts.

"Question for you now - when and where did you first realise that you were in love with Harry?" It's delivered by Narcissa with a slight amusement in her voice and a subtle smirk that she has whenever she has one of her wins.

A faint shade of red tints his cheeks and he hides his eyes behind his cards. It might take a while before he caves in, "No, no, no."

Lucius scrunches his nose, "What do you mean no? You decided to call her bluff and you didn't win, rules state that she can ask you whatever she wants to and you must answer."

Harry whistles, unable to hide his own amusement here because it's the highlight of his week, "Oh, how the tables have turned."

"Harry, don't encourage them more."

"Oh, no, I want to find out when it is that you first thought you were in love with me, I have to encourage this."

Harry receives a high-five from the both of them for that, "Oh, you're outnumbered, love."

"Oh, fine. It was 24th May, 2004, he wrote a poem for me and sent it with blue orchids, a picture of four puppies and a small note that said: because work was a magnificent headache for you and since you have to stay overtime, here is a poem for you but don't you dare trouble me over its quality, it's the first poem I've written."

Oh, shit - not that story.

"Oh, no, wait, do not continue that story." It wasn't the smartest tactic because now, by the reaction he had, he will have to hear it and Draco is more interested in it now than he was.

"No, no, now I must continue the story if it embarasses you, shouldn't I? Besides, I'm outnumbered and rules are rules."

"Oh, now rules are rules?"It is now his turn to hide behind his cards or wish for the floor to open up and swallow him. Or be six feet under.

Draco reaches out and interlaces their fingers together, "Yes, but I want to continue it because out of all the stories that you and I have, it's the best one, isn't it?"

Lucius whistles, "If it embarasses the chosen one, it is the best story you can offer and you can print it out, it'll be on the front page."

Narcissa delivers a light punch on his arm,"Lucius, I love you but I swear, you have no sense whatsoever, why must you intrude on their moment?"

"I'm offended that you said I have no sense."

"Yeah, full offence intended there."

The banter fades into the background when his eyes are caught in the silver ones and he can hear him recall 24th May, 2004.

Draco holds the folded piece of paper in his hand with a slight smile while he reads the poem over and over and his heart softly stutters in his chest. It's the words he wants to commit to memory because it's beautiful, because the words are for him.

✵°✵.•✵

"If I could have one wish,

It would be to stay with you on rooftops and watch the skies,

Or when there is a brighter light,

Skies that will hold colours but none of them will be as beautiful as the ones in your eyes.

when the skies are tinted with the soft colours of hazel, golden and red,

there will be several words between us in the light of dusk, left unsaid.

Because we have our own language,

one that is silence and not the twenty six letters,

It writes itself between us, in the soft wind of the summers.

Know that I'll have made a wish for time to cease, but if it doesn't, we'll meet where the falling star lives.

On that night, when there are shooting stars in the sky,

✵°✵.•✵

"You wrote a poem for me?"

"Yes but the poem is cliche and the absolute worst, isn't it?" Harry says on the other side and the sound of his voice is a medicine and it's a voice that he can hear for hours.

"Quite the opposite, it's romantic and the absolute best poem I've read in years and the best gift I could've received." Draco reassures with the paper in his hand, the words right before him.

"Now, that isn't true."

"Oh, but it is and you should consider a career in it because this deserves an A+ and you've definitely earned yourself one more date and a kiss."

He can hear the trace of a smile in his voice when he says, "Oh, have I now?"

"I'm sorry I had to reschedule our movie night, I did want to watch Titanic with you and cry whilst I was at it and hear you call me a crybaby."

"No, don't be sorry, it's no trouble, you had to work overtime, it isn't your fault but yes, it's true, you are most definitely a crybaby."

He hears a soft bark on the other side of the line, a loud crash with it and more barks and that elicits a variation of curses out of Harry. "Trouble at work?"

Draco can sense that he is in a rush on the other side by the sound of his faint footsteps through the phone, "Yes, I'm sorry but raincheck?"

A weight settles over him and the tone of his voice changes in the slightest, "It's no trouble, you can call me whenever you want to."

"Will do, I love you."

But time ceases there and he can hear the soft tick of his watch, a small, small knot in his throat because it's the first time he has said that to him.

The words turn in his mind over and over and soon, in his own sky, the stars align to create a new, beautiful constellation and that sky holds more light than it has in years.

'I love you.'

Draco is out of his train of thought when his cell lights up and vibrates with a new text and it's from him: I recall that I said I love you but that wasn't me, that was Louie.

"Oh, was it, now?"

Wait, no, that is the worst excuse in the history of worst excuses, I'm sorry?

Because he is shallow and wants to trouble him, he leaves it there, on read, and right on cue, there are two frantic texts from Harry: Draco???

The second one elicits a laugh out of him with a trace of fondness in it and that is where he realises it: Don't break up with me otherwise I'll cry.

'I love you, I love you, I love you.'

Because why wouldn't he?

He receives one more text: Nevermind, I'm not sorry I said that because I do love you.

He wants to send him a text, write 'I love you' back to him but no combination of twenty six letters can capture a sliver of it. Not here.

Instead, that night, at 12:00 AM, he sends Harry a poem of his own with a blue box and in it, is a small badge that is familiar to the both of them and it says: "I love you, you stubborn pain in the ass."

Soon, his screen lights up with one more text from him: A stubborn pain in the ass?

Well, you are, aren't you?

"Oh, the beloved chosen one embarasses himself way too often, doesn't he?" Lucius had that slight, self-satisfied smirk on and it's worse now that he has heard that story.

Harry sets three cards down on the table, facedown when the new round starts with the aces, "Three aces and says you. You were once lost on the bus to the shops."

"Now, that was one time."

Bella races back towards Draco when she is done with the chase of her own shadow in the corner of the room and he lights up in the slightest, "Oh, what did you find in your shadow hunt, love?"

She meows, reaches out for his hand and holds her tongue out. He scratches the back of her ear and says, "Who's our lil' baby?"

It's true, if he could have one wish, it would be to stay here with him, "Harry?"

He turns back towards Narcissa and brushes off the tears on his cheeks but there are tears in her eyes too, "Yeah?"

"When did you first realise that you were in love with him?"

Harry tilts his head towards Draco and he is caught in the faint light in his eyes like a thousand fireflies, the crinkles by the corners.

Tousled hair, moonlight pale skin, and beautiful eyes. He is caught off guard by the way the light of the room reflects over his cheekbones and the bridge of his nose. Caught off guard in a way that he often was, simply by how beautiful he is, “Oh, there was never a moment that I wasn’t."

✵•. ✵°✵.｡.✰.｡. ✵°✵.•✵

The light of the sun cascades into the kitchen, wafting through the window and dust modes float, suspended, in the room. Soft music sounds through the radio in the silence with the occasional sizzle of bacon.

Arms wrap around his torso and one hand slides to his chest with a feather-light kiss on his shoulder, his voice hoarse when he whispers, "Good morning, Harry."

Harry turns towards him with a slight smile, his back on the counter and hands around his waist, "Because it's not 10:00 AM you're not irritable today, I must pose a question - who are you and where is Draco?"

"I'm not that irritable in the morning."

"No, you're worse."

Draco places a kiss on his cheek, his eyes softer around the corners, "I had a dream."

"Is that dream the reason you're in such a brilliant mood?"

Draco's lips brush over his, softly, delicately, like butterfly wings and his heart stutters in his chest, "Yes, that might be it because it was a beautiful one."

"Mm, what was it about?"

Draco trails his fingers down his arms to his own hand and he interlaces their fingers together, "I want to show it to you with charm through which you and I can relieve that dream together."

"Wait, I'm in it?"

He brushes a strand of hair out of his face with a soft smile of his own, the one reserved for him, "No, you're it."

"Now, I want you to show it to me because you've become such a romantic."

"No, I'm more romantic than you are."

"Baby, you won't win."

Draco inches closer to him and their lips brush together when he whispers, “Sure, but because I come home to roses, the dirtiest notes on post-its, kisses on the forehead and date nights. Or slow dances in the kitchen but I might win because I'm more romantic than you. True story."

"Sure, you might because you burn our dinner on accident, gift me a self-annotated book of poems, visit new cities with me on weekends, or because you lose in scrabble or chess on purpose when I distract you with kisses but you're not because I'm the romantic one between you and me"

"We can have this debate over breakfast but now, I have to show you that dream."

"Wait for five more minutes or our breakfast will burn."

"Breakfast can wait."

"No, it can't."

Draco widens his eyes, raises his eyebrows and sticks his bottom lip out, while tilting his head a little downward for more persuasion and it works like a charm because it crumbles the weak defense that he has around his heart, "Oh, fuck you."

"Now, can I show you it?"

"Would it matter if I said not now?"

"No, it wouldn't because I have several methods of persuasion and you'll have no choice but to relive it with me, now can't your breakfast wait?"

Not that he doesn't want to relive it, it's that the breakfast might burn. But because it's him, it can wait or burn for that matter, "Sure, it can wait but if the breakfast burns, it's on you and you're on breakfast duties for the rest of the week."

"Spare yourself and don't do that, I burn our breakfast more often than not - seventeen times, to be precise."

"No, it was eighteen, did you count the treacle tarts?"

"Oh, yes it was eighteen."

"Yes, it was but now, show me that dream of yours." He said with an endeared undertone and a small, soft kiss on his forehead.

Draco interlaces both their hands together and whispers a charm and a soft string of light binds them together. A white light swirls in the room and soon, he is in a fragment of his mind, the one with dreams.

Soft music sounds from the radio, a slow, beautiful tone.

On the refrigerator, there were post-its with small, scribbled notes and there are photo-frames on one of the walls - one from the vacation to Paris, India, Australia and other countries. Cities, towns and beautiful villages and more.

Harry pours the hot cocoa into a black ceramic cup with and sifts a dash of cocoa powder over mini-marshmallows and casts a charm on it, for it to remain warm.

The door opens with a small whistle of the wind and there is a soft hum in the distance, the tune of the song on the radio. It closes with a small thud. The sound of his footsteps echoes behind him, "Is that for me?"

The sound of his voice causes warmth to course through him and settle in a soft, delicate pattern around his heart, "You wish."

Draco inches closer to him and brushes their noses together, "But work was a magnificent headache today, I want hot cocoa, too."

"No, this one isn't yours or mine. It's hers and if you want it, it will be troublesome for you because she is stubborn and I'm on her side."

"But I'm your husband."

"Sure but no."

In a distance, he hears her faint footsteps and she rushes into the kitchen, towards Draco and he crouches down to catch her and spins her around once, pure adoration in his eyes, "Hey, munchkin."

"You're back home, you're back home, you're back home."

"Yes, yes, I'm back home but, I want a favour from you, will you be a sweetheart and do that for me?" He places her down on the counter, his hands on her side.

"Sure, I can do that for you." Lili tilts her head towards him to be sure of that deal but because he is shallow, he has turned her on his side and he directs a firm 'no' in a subtle manner, "But I'll hear you out first."

"Mhm, your dad has turned you to his side."

"He hasn't, you were the one who said that we should hear a deal first."

Oh, she is a smart one.

"You're five, since when did you become that smart, munchkin?" Draco is much too endeared by her now and it's beautiful to be here for that, for that light in his eyes and the slight tilt of the corners of his mouth, for the love he holds for her in his heart.

"Now, there is a warm cup of hot cocoa here for you but because work was a magnificent headache, can I have it instead?"

"But what will I have in return for that?"

"I will tell you a secret, but you have to promise me that it remains between us."

"A secret?"

"Yes."

She tilts her head towards the cup of hot cocoa and towards him and back towards Draco, "It's yours, I want to hear a secret."

"It's a deal, munchkin but you promise it stays between us?" He holds out a pinkie finger to her and she entwines her own pinkie with his to signify that promise.

He covers her ear with his hand and whispers purposefully loud to her, "I have a crush on your dad."

"On dad?" She whispers with a soft laugh, far too amused with that secret and with that, she crawls over to Harry on the counter and she raises her arms for him to hold her. So he does.

“Dad, father said he has a crush on you.”

“Oh, did he, now?”

A light catches in in soft, silver eyes.

He is the music within him, beautiful like the rustle of light between leaves, a tune of his heart, soft like the song of the stars and a stanza of his favourite poem, the one that he holds within his heart.

"Now, you can't reveal this secret, you have to promise me that you won’t, but I have a crush on your father, too." He whispers to her, loud for him to hear it.

It elicits one more laugh out of her and she tilts her head towards him, “Dad has a crush on you, too.”

“Oh, does he, now?” Draco sends a soft smile towards him with a hint of a smirk in it.

“You can't have the hot cocoa now because I broke your promise and now, I have your secret with me and hot cocoa too.”

"You’re such a traitor.”

“I’m not a traitor.”

“Yes, you are.”

She sticks out her tongue, stumbles out his hold and on the counter towards the cup of hot cocoa, “Lili, you'll burn your tongue - why don't you stay in your room and I'll be right there with your hot cocoa.”

"But what if he drinks it?"

"Oh, he wouldn't dare."

She reaches out to him once more and he twirls her once before she runs back to her room, "No hot cocoa for me now?"

"You wouldn't dare to touch hers now, would you?"

"No, I wouldn't but our daughter is a traitor, she revealed a secret to you."

"Oh, I'm sorry, what secret?"

Draco catches his fingers, places a hand on his waist and pushes him back and pins him on the wall, "Oh, that I have a crush on you."

"But you do, don't you?"

He tightens his hand on his waist and a breath is caught in his throat, "Why, yes I do and I hear you have a crush on me, too."

Harry twists the positions and now, Draco is on the wall. He trails his fingers over the soft fabric of his shirt, over his arms and down to his hands. He interlaces their fingers together, pins his arms above his head, "Oh, yes I might but what will you do about it, baby?"

But soon, he hears Lili's voice from her own bedroom.

“Dad, it’s time for hot cocoa and bedtime stories, where are you?”

Draco rests his head on his shoulder and laughs into the soft fabric of his blue sweater, a faint laugh and warmth surges through him, “It’s hot cocoa and bedtime stories hour, not pin your husband on the wall hour.”

“But when is that hour?”

“Oh, wouldn’t you like to know?”

✵•. ✵°✵.｡.✰.｡. ✵°✵.•✵

“I'll always love you.”

"Always?" A beautiful light catches in his silver eyes and it softens around the corners.

Harry trails his fingers closer to Draco's heart and whispers, “I'll love you in the snow, in the rain, autumn and winter. I'll love you in all seasons. I'll love you on the moon or on other planets, too. I'll love you in our universe or in other universes, in our timeline and in other timelines because there is no version of this where I don't love you. Always, I'll love you.”

“Always, I'll love you, too.”

✵•. ✵°✵.｡.✰.｡. ✵°✵.•✵

“The stream had washed away all regret for her lover, and she saw now that he had been cruel and faithless, and that -”

Harry halts outside the room and leans on the doorframe with his arms crossed and he hears the sound of his voice while he reads to Rose, the fountain of fair fortune. He has the book between them, one arm behind her.

The light of the bedside table lamp caught in his silver eyes, over his skin and the scars on his arm. He has that trace of a smile which is all the more beautiful.

But it reminds him that there isn't more time and a crack slices it’s way into his heart because he won’t have this. The illusions, the flight of fancy of a forever that he wants is broken here and he can’t save it. But he can be here now because it’s the last time.

He doesn't want to hear the sound of heartbreak.

But his heart is stained with sadness and it taints his cheeks with tears. He has to hold it together but he can't because soon, none of this will be here. He won't hear him read stories to Rose. Or to him when he has nightmares, “Read me one more.”

“Sure but do you want me to read one from here or do you want to hear a new one?”

“A new one.”

“Once upon a time there was a beautiful princess, her name was Rose and she went to bed - the end.”

“No, that isn't a story.”

“Yes it is, you're princess and you went to bed, that is the story and it's your favourite one, isn't it?”

“No, it’s not, I want to hear one more story.” Rose says and holds out the storybook to him for one more story before bedtime and now, that is his cue to intrude and conclude the bedtime story fest here because Draco can’t refuse. Not when it’s Rose.

“You can hear more tomorrow, love - it's 11:00, well past your bedtime, yeah?” Harry says and heads towards the bed and beside Draco while he smoothes her hair back and kisses her forehead and he hears him whisper ‘I love you’ to her one last time.

“But I love you the mostest.”

“Oh, do you now?”

Harry turns out the lamp and holds out his hand to Draco and he interlaces their fingers together with a hint of a smile, ``Nighty night, sweetheart.”

The door closes behind them with a soft thud and with that, the two of them walk to their bedroom, past the photo frames on the wall - one of Bella, from the mini-vacations out of town, the one from Tokyo, and the more recent ones. More memories.

Once the door closes, Draco catches his belt loops to hold him close and brushes his lips over the scar on his forehead and it causes a smile to settle over him, one that hasn’t been there since four days or more, “You remember our dance on the beach on one of our anniversaries?”

“Oh, why wouldn’t I when you said I’m the worst dancer?”

Draco brushes a strand of hair out of his eye, “I don’t believe those were the actual words but yes, you’re the worst dancer but if it’s a consolation, I wouldn’t want it any other way.”

“No, those were the actual words.”

“I’m not that rude, don’t be such a bitch to me.”

“But you are that rude.”

Harry rests his head over his chest, over the soft fabric of his sweater, to hear the sound of his heartbeat. Draco places a hand on the small of his back to hold him there and bends down to whisper into his ear, “Not to you. Never to you because I’m soft for you.”

“Oh, is that so?”

“Yes but it’s true, you can’t dance.”

Harry raises a hand to Draco's face, a slight tremble to his fingers and traces his thumb across his cheekbone and it might be love that is stuck there in his throat or the rambling passion he has for him that he couldn't form words, “No, but you’ll teach, won’t you?”

Draco places a single finger under his chin, tilts his head up to kiss him, soft and slow, and the constriction in his throat flows out like a tidal wave, “Sure, if you insist but remember it this time, yeah?”

He has to remember because it’s his last dance with him and to dance together amid the light in the bedroom, amid the soft tune in mind, one of love and heartache. One last time, "I'll remember."

Draco interlaces their fingers together once more and twirls him round once and his hand trails down to his waist in a firm, yet gentle grip, "Now, I've said it before, you dance in the beats of four - one, two, three, four," He demonstrates while he dances to a tune in his own head, one that is familiar to him, "It's a box."

"Sure but I've said it before, it's not a box, it's more than that."

Draco brushes a kiss on his cheekbone, "Don't be such a baby, it's not more than that and it's a slow dance, it's not that hard."

“No, it’s hard but why would you relate when you're such a brilliant dancer?”

“Oh, it's all natural talent.”

“I bet, I bet.”

He dances with him in the bedroom to the soft hum of a tune in his ear, one that he had invented himself, with a tandem of his own accord and there, in the moment of closeness, their hearts beat in a sync and soon, as their hearts follow each other's lead, they beat as one and with them, their hearts dance too, “You're much better now.”

Harry whistles, “Oh, the pure bliss to hear the words I thought I would never hear - such a surprise.”

“Yeah, I'm full of surprises.”

“No shit.”

"Do you remember the nights we would dance on the duvet or on top of the table to my chemical romance on the nights we were drunk out of our mind?"

Draco rests his head on his shoulder while he dances that silent tune, a weight over his heart, "Oh, yeah you would sing the wrong lyrics but with full confidence."

Draco is silent for a heartbeat before he whispers, "But now you have to sing the wrong lyrics all by yourself."

"It won't be the same though."

"No, no it wouldn't but there won't be more of you and I now, would there?"

The words tilt his world and the weight on his heart intensifies and increases until it covers every inch of him, inside and out.

"You remember when you once said that Astronomers have heard a song in the cosmos and it's said that it's a tune of the stars that went out, that it sends out a wavering note which is a ghost of it's song?"

“Yes, I remember.”

“I believe that our love will remain here when you and I won't. A ghost of the love we had will stay behind and dance on the duvet or the table to a tune of it's own and it might be the one you and I dance to.”

“A ghost of our lost love?”

“Yes, because lost love is still love but it's not the same. It's said that when one of our senses weaken, the other heightens and here, when your presence weakens, our memories will heighten and I'll hold it, I'll love it and I'll dance with it.”

“Harry, if tonight is the last time we'll be together, stay close to me.”

“I will.”

Draco reaches up to kiss him and his eyelids close. It's soft, slow and tentative but he is one with galaxies in his mind, the sun and the moon in his heart and stars in his eyes and when he kisses him, it's like the tender touch of the infinite universe itself.

But a soft shatter sounds in the room and all of a sudden, he hears a soft sob, “No, no, no.”

It's the watch.

Draco reaches out for the watch and holds it in his hand. He traces his thumb over the inscription on the back once and turns it over. The watch has cracks on it, on the crystal case outside. He closes his fingers around it and whispers, “It's broken.”

Harry crouches down in front of him, a breath caught in his throat and his hand trembles when he reaches out to touch his arm, “Draco, no, we can cast a charm on it and it'll be the same as it was before and -”

“No, no, it's broken.”

It's broken.

Harry weaves their fingers together and rests their hands over his thigh and in the silence of the night, he realises that it's not only the watch that is broken.

✵•. ✵°✵.｡.✰.｡. ✵°✵.•✵

Together, the two of them are buried under the pile of blankets, his face in the crook of Draco's neck, his breaths much softer now. Draco cards his fingers through his soft curls, combing the knots, brushes a kiss to his ear and whispers, “I love you.”

Harry can't remember when it had turned into this. Into this mundane, soft confessions in the silent moments but he has heard that over and over because he wants to reimburse for the time he hadn't said it.

But it's because he had once said otherwise and he thought that Harry had believed him. He hadn't. Because not once had he doubted the love that Draco held for him. Not once.

“I want to be where you will be,” Harry whispers while he places a kiss to his collarbone, “Home is where you are, I want to be with you, wherever you are.”

One of Draco's hands slides down the length of his spine and to the small of his back and he rubs small circles there with his thumb, "What if I'm in some other universe?"

“I would cross other universes to be in the one you'll be in.” If he was honest, he would cross stars, galaxies, other universes and whatever he has to if he has the chance to be with him.

Because he wants more time with him.

“Oh, no you don't have to because I'll always be with you.” Draco touches his chest, over his heart with a soft smile, “Always.”

But the words, the touches and the soft smile break his heart because soon, it'll be the last and he can't hold onto it now.

Harry reaches out for the hand over his chest and interlaces their fingers together, held close to his heart and to the moonstone ring there. Soon, he won't hear his voice, the sound of his soft breaths or his heartbeat. Soon, he won't dance with him to the songs on the radio. Soon, he won't be here.

Draco brushes a soft kiss on the back of his hand, tears in the corners of his eyes, “You remember the time we went to that chapel and I said that I wanted our wedding there and you said that we can have all of it?”

He traces his thumb over his cheekbone, a knot in his throat when he says, “Mhm, I remember it, I remember it all too well.”

“Be our cartographer and show our universe to me. A universe where the sky is pink, where I love you, where we dance under the light of a thousand stars and where we have more time together. All of it.”

To describe that universe is like an effortless intake of breath. “I would propose to you first with romantic confessions of love and soon, we would plan it out together. We would have a wedding there in summer or autumn and you'll quote pride and prejudice to me, in your vows.”

Draco places a small kiss over his scar and with the softest laugh, he whispers, “You have bewitched me, body and soul, and I love, I love, I love you. And wish from this day forth never to be parted from you.”

Harry brushes their noses together while his heart clenches in his chest, “Yes, that one and I would cry when I hear your vows and you will cry when you hear mine.”

“I might, I'm a crybaby and because I love you and tear up over love confessions.”

“No doubt.”

The thin, pale fingers slip underneath the fabric of his shirt and trail over to his chest. Trails of warm calluses over his skin. A warm hand rests over his heart with a slight tremble.

“You remember the dream you had, where we had a daughter and where you said you had a crush on me and she revealed your secret to me and mine to you?”

“Oh, that I have a crush on you?”

With a soft hum, he brushes one strand of hair out of his face, the one that rests over his eye, “Yes, now if we were to have children, would we have one or?”

Draco traces his own name over his heart with his fingertips, “One daughter, one son and you can choose the names.”

“Isn't there a tradition that you have to name them over a constellation or a star?”

“True but traditions don't matter much.”

“Yes, but do you remember that night when we were on the rooftop and there was that one constellation that you and I both thought was beautiful?”

“Scorpius?”

Harry caresses his cheekbone, “Yes, Lili for our daughter and Scorpius for our son and we can renew our vows when we have them.”

“Harry, that would be beautiful but I won't be here with you for that, would I?” Draco whispers into the soft silence of the room while tears trickle down his cheek.

“Draco, you'll always be here with me, remember?” Harry says with a slight tremble to his own voice, a knot in his throat while he wipes his tears with a soft brush of his thumb. He cradles Draco's hand, places it over his own heart, “you'll always be here. Always.”

“I'm sorry, we could've had it all.”

It cracks his heart down in the middle while his own tears slide down and his hands tremble. He wants to hold it together for him but he can't because there is no more time left, soon it'll be over. But he doesn't want it to be over yet, “We'll have that, we'll have all of it.”

“But we don't have more time, Harry.”

Harry traces the back of his fingers over his cheek and now, his eyes are red-rimmed, a soft shade of silver that has a trace of restrained emotions and Harry can't breathe.

“I want to stay with you.” He places a kiss on his forehead and lingers there but it is there that he can't control it, it's there that he can't hold it together and soon, he breaks.

“You and I, we had it all together. All of it. I love you, you're all that I want to have and we can have the rest of it in other universes, where we have more time together. I'll change the crosswalk light symbol for you there, do eight minutes dates, or quote romance novels to you and I will love you.”

Draco clutches his shirt, tightens his grip on it while he trembles, shatters in his arms, soft gasps and sobs and Harry can't hold it together, "You promise?"

“Cross my heart.”

✵•. ✵°✵.｡.✰.｡. ✵°✵.•✵

Beams of sunlight break through the clouds in the light of dusk. A slow, soft tune sounds in his car but it's distant to him now. Because he remembers the lyrics, the soft voice in the car.

But he doesn't want to remember.

The wind is light and warm over his skin in the windows down hour while he races down the road but it wasn't the same now. It's beautiful outside - the soft touch of autumn, a slight mist in the air and the lilac sky but it isn't as beautiful as it once was because the lighthouse of his universe isn't here on this drive.

Draco has his head out the window, a slight touch of awe in his eyes. It was natural for him to become a part of the landscape, "Isn't it beautiful that the colours change with the light?"

Harry turns to him with a subtle smile with a trace of fondness in it because it's a rare privilege to witness this, the lights in his eyes, the softness to his voice and the way he becomes when he is out of town with him, "Wait, what do you mean by that?"

"Oh, it's that when the seasons change, the lights change and what surrounds us changes with it. When we were here the last time, it was winter and the lights were harsh and white but it's autumn now and the lights are soft and red. It all changes."

It's true, the lights aren't the same now, the way it sifts through trees, the colours of the skies or the leaves - none of it was the same. "True, true but you know what doesn't change with the change in seasons or the lights?"

Draco reaches out and brushes the back of his fingers over his cheek, in a tender, feather-light touch and whispers, "Is it your love for me?"

He drives, his eyes caught in the beautiful silver ones, "Yeah, it's that and it will never change."

The season and the lights were not the same but the ghosts of that drive out of town in autumn remain here with him. But he isn't.

The car halts outside the burial, one that is beside a chapel, with a faint screech and other than the soft tune in his car and the sound of the birds, there is absolute silence out there.

The chapel isn't the same one that was shown to him but the sight of it brought it all back.

"All of it?"

"All of it."

A weight settles over his heart and he stays in his car, his hand on one side of the steering wheel. He reaches out and brushes his fingers over a small polaroid that rests on the visor.

It was one of them together on a drive out of town in the autumn season, when it was all red.

Red is often referred to as the colour of love but he had once said that there were shades and love has one of its own, that there were 99 shades of and love was the hundredth shade.

"The hundredth shade of red is love but that shade isn't the same for all of us, it's a shade we create ourselves and paint a canvas of love with it."

Harry thought that it's beautiful, to have a shade of red for love and to paint a blank canvas with that shade, "But why isn't it the same for all of us?"

"Because love exists in different forms, because for some love is violent or dangerous or toxic but for some, it's beautiful, it's patient and soft. Why would the shades be the same when love isn't?"

"What is our shade of red?"

"Oh, it's whatever you want it to be, you can combine whichever colour you want to and it'll become your own shade of red."

"Describe yours to me."

Draco brushes their noses together with the softest smile while his thumb caresses his cheekbone in a feather-light touch, "Oh, the shade is soft, vibrant, warm with a tint of pink and a touch of magenta. It's new, rich and beautiful and for whatever reason, it has the light of the stars in it."

Harry trails his hand down to his waist, "Mm, that would be a beautiful shade to paint with but shades have names, what is the name of that shade?"

"It's a blend of two words – Apricity, which is the warmth of the sun in winters and Elysian, which is beautiful or divine. The shade of love is Aprisian because you're the most beautiful warmth in the coldest winters."

"Oh, that is creative and euphonious."

It elicits a soft laugh out of Draco and it's the most beautiful sound he has ever heard, "You said euphonious because you wanted to show that you know such words too, didn't you?"

"Well, when you said words like Apricity and Elysian and Aprisian, I thought I should contribute a word that was beautiful to hear."

"Your name is beautiful to hear."

"More than Aprisian?"

Draco brushes a kiss over his scar, his voice a soft whisper when he says, "Harry, you are Aprisian."

Soft sunlight cascades into the car and over the broken wristwatch in his hand and he can hear its soft tick in the silence that surrounds him.

He turns it over to read the inscription on the back, traces his thumb over the words with a slight tremble to his hand - we can have it all.

He rushes out of his car and closes the door behind him with a soft thud.

The crispy leaves crunch underneath his shoes while he treads towards the burial, the watch held tight in his hand.

Harry winds through the stones covered with red and brown leaves, to his grave and when he reaches, there are wreaths of roses, lilies and more flowers, bears and photographs.

He reads his name and a knot forms in his throat, tears in the corners of his eyes and his hands tremble on his side.

In the loving memory of

Draco Malfoy.

5 June, 1980 - 6 September, 2006.

He bends down to set his own wreath of blue orchids in the centre while tears slide down his cheeks and his heart clenches in his chest and while he stands there, all of it reruns in his head. The silent confessions, the soft whispers in the night, the last dance - all of it.

If he had the chance to turn back time and do it over, he wouldn't change the stories because it was beautiful. But he might rewrite the epilogue into a softer one. Because those stories can't be rewritten and there is no version of it that will be more beautiful than the one that is written down there.

He holds onto the memories, too.

It’s all he has now.

He rests his forehead on one side of the stone and his hand over the name on it while he whispers and the memories embrace him, hold him, anchor him, "It didn't change."

It's the love that would remain the same when the seasons or the lights change.

He withdraws a small velvet pouch, and from inside it he removes the omamori charm with the intricate patterns and an inscription written on it and sets it down.

He remembers it all.

The vacation to Tokyo and the omamori charm he had brought for Draco, the soft touches, the whispers of 'I love you', the dates, the lanterns and the rest. Because a ghost of it, of the love, of the memories are there with him and he will hold it, love it and dance with it.

He will remember it.

All too well.

✵•. ✵°✵.｡.✰.｡. ✵°✵.•✵

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