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On the other side

Microfic word requested: I'm sorry

AU: Harry didn't survive the war

He picked on the green grass aimlessly, almost out of his own consciousness. He had been sitting there for a while, actually he felt like he hadn't moved from that place in months, almost like he never moved but it's not true at all, he moves, he leaves but he comes back around over and over as if it's home. He doesn't know if anyone else knows that he comes here, if anyone ever sees him coming here or if anyone care he comes here but he never gave attention to that thought all that much but maybe somewhere someone knows that he goes and sit over the grass and never says anything but just sit there.

But that day it was different. For the first time it felt like sun has overstayed it's visit, the wind was not cold and the flower's were more alive than they had been for a long time. There was something about that day that was brighter than all the rest of the days, it somehow didn't make him feel alone.

He kept staring at that flower wreath kept just before the engraving,

"Harry Potter 31 July 1980 - 2 May 1998.

There never lived anyone like him."

He doesn't know who keeps that lily wreath there everyday but someone does and he appreciates it. He always liked lilies.

He felt it when he seemed to smile for the first time in months. He didn't understand himself, why he smiled in that moment but he did and he kept smiling until he found himself talking,

"I don't know why I come here," he pauses for a while then continues again, "I think my friend's think I'm crazy or something that I disappear in between the day everyday or I suppose they don't care about it at all." And he paused again, he plucked on the grass again and twirled it in his fingers, then continued, "I think you would've cared."

There was nothing but silence then, nobody who heard him, nobody to talk to but he kept looking at the grave wondering what it'd be like if Harry was still here.

"I wish we could have become friends. I don't suppose you'd ever believe me but I was never that bad, I always hoped you'd had seen that part of me that cared for you behind the curtains. I can't even pin the amount of times I was worried at the thought of you possibly dying almost every year-" and if only he had said that, his breath choked him then, the lump in his throat grew gradually and he fought his voice to say something. He had to say those things today, he had to.

But he never saw the tears coming, but there were.

"I wanted you to know that I cared, you know, that behind everything I really owed you a lot and it kills me that I could never repay you anything back. I- or nobody understands why I come here or why I sit here but I think it's my grief- everything that I couldn't give you... I- I wish you were here," And he chuckles for a moment, "You would really think I'm crazy to say something like this if you were here right now but I really do wish you were here. I want to show you that I've changed, that I've really changed a lot and there's really nobody out there who would see that change in me but you. I think out of everyone I want everyday in my life, you're the most of what I want but it kills me that I can't even see your face anymore. I wasted so much time trying to pretend that I hated you, trying to pretend better I was better than you when all along but I've run out of time, out of course- I- I just really loved you, Harry. I loved you all along. I- i don't wish to live a life where you're not there and there's just so- so much I wish I could fix, I wish it so much that I could save you, I think I could've. I wish it were me who died and not you." He was whimpering holding onto himself, hugging his knees, holding himself closer to his body as he ever could because he needed to feel that warmth, he needed to feel any closeness that just didn't exist anymore but he really wanted it but no matter how much harder he hugged himself, it didn't work because the one he wanted to hug didn't exist anymore. He had died battling for his people..

That day he finally cried and he cried a lot and he told the grave of Harry a lot of things he didn't say to his own self but he did that. All that he grieved was all his love that never got anywhere. He imagines that he just wanted a life with him where they would be happy, he wanted a life where he could show Harry that he could be better, where they were friends or maybe even more If Harry would've wanted it, he imagined a life where Harry lived.. but that life didn't exist, in fact what existed was the mortality of Draco and immortality of his love because he would never love anyone as much as he loved Harry.

He wanted to curse everyone who was responsible for Harry's death, make them suffer but his anger was all the love he never got to show but most of all he was mad at his own self, mad at what he couldn't do, mad that he wasted all of his life when he could've loved Harry.

But none of it made sense anymore, the tears, the anger, the disappointment, the wishes, the hope because Harry wasn't here anymore and that was the only thing Draco had to learn how to make peace with and he perhaps would but right now, he was hurting, he was really hurting and he only hoped that maybe one day that hurting would finally stop.

His whimpers came to a close when the sun started settling and clouds overtook the sky. It was time to go, he had to go back into the castle and pretend again that he was okay when he knew he wasn't but he lingered a few more seconds, stayed seated a couple more seconds but all of it finally came to an end when there was nothing more left to do. He stood up, holding onto his robes closer to his body and in his broken voice he uttered a few simple words,

"I'm sorry, Harry. I'm sorry it was you."

And he left with hopes that one day he'd meet him on the other side and then they would be all that they couldn't be.

Tagging some of y'all for a boost, don't hesitate if you're uncomfortable with the tag <3

@phoebe-delia ​ @chinike @elenaxoxo22 ​ @thecornerofbelu @nv-md ​ @lilthislilthat ​ @cissa-bee @missdrarrydawn @harryandginnydeservesbetter @draco-lucious-potter ​ @textrovert-01 @drarrywords

In the whole wide world, only you

Fluff

He had been sitting on the couch for the most part of the evening, reading, like he normally did whenever he was alone. He liked the silence in the flat but only the light traffic from outside he could hear, he liked those moments of being alone. He enjoyed them while it lasted and It was one of his silent alone nights until he heard the door open and the keys being kept on the counter with a long sigh and he just knew. He smiled to himself and waited for the man he loved too dearly for his own good to appear at the door of the living room and soon he did.

Harry looked at him with exhaustion before Draco put his book aside on the coffee table and said, "Long day?"

"You wouldn't believe." Harry sighed.

Draco smiled lightly and sunk a little further in the couch to make some space for Harry and opened his arms for him to join, "Come here and tell me all about it."

Harry walked slowly and tiredly towards the couch shaking his head, saying that he didn't want to talk about his day and instantly collapsed over Draco upon reaching the couch, making him laugh,

"You're gonna crush my bones, Harry." He laughed lightly.

"Well, now you know what my insides feel like." He muffled against his chest.

Draco threw his head back a little unable to control his chuckle. He wrapped one of his arms around Harry's torso and the other one in his hair and kissed the top of his head softly, "You're too exhausted, my love."

Harry hummed without moving a single inch.

Draco gazed at him fondly then shifted a little more closer so Harry could be a little more comfortable and ran his hands through his hair.

"Do you want me to make you some coffee?"

Harry only shook his head and slid sideways so he laid beside Draco now.

"Are you sure?" He asked again and Harry shook his head again.

Draco gave up his question then and only wrapped his arms around Harry and kissed his forehead again, "You really don't want to talk about today?"

Harry shook his head, "I just wanna stay here with you and cuddle and forget the world exists." Harry replied closing his eyes and cuddling into Draco.

Draco smiled and nodded, "Fine then, we'll stay here as long as you want and forget the world ever existed."

Draco wrapped one his arms around Harry's body, pulling him closer while with his other hand he turned the recorder on, Can't help Falling in love by Elvis played instantly and he turned his volume just by a notch. He drew small circles on Harry's back and whispered soft reassurances to him like he often did, telling him to not work so much while Harry only hummed and even though Draco knew Harry wasn't actually listening, he almost never did yet he still would tell him because he knew Harry needed to hear those words.

That was the thing about their love, those unspoken words, the understanding in coming home at night and just staying there with each other. Their love wasn't made out of glass or metal or anything, hell they didn't even care about what it was made of because it didn't matter. In that moment, in that time, they loved each other more than they have ever loved anyone else and that's all that ever mattered. Their happiness was in coming home to being two arms wrapped around each other and soft music playing until they would fell asleep right there on the couch and it didn't have to make sense to the rest of the world because their world was right here, in that apartment they bought together and that was all that mattered.

What a 5 minute idea turned into

Tagging some of y'all for a boost, don't hesitate if you're uncomfortable with the tag <3

@phoebe-delia ​ @chinike @elenaxoxo22 ​ @thecornerofbelu @nv-md ​ @lilthislilthat ​ @cissa-bee @missdrarrydawn @harryandginnydeservesbetter @draco-lucious-potter @textrovert-01 @drarrywords

Devil wears Prada and wine?

Fluff // Because my sleep schedule is ruined within a week of staying at home and I told this dumbass I'd write for her, so here it is... (@drarrywords happy now?)

"Thank you guys for coming over, it was all really beautiful, I couldn't have asked for a better way to celebrate it." Harry said as his friends started walking out of the door.

Yes, Harry got appointed as Head Auror, the post he's been trying to reach for weeks, month's even. This was his ultimate goal and only he knew how much he had to work his ass off for that one position and he celebrated that night with his friends with some champagne, wine and the best food in town and this was finally the time when all his friends left. He really couldn't have asked for better friends.

"We really went through 6 bottles of wine today." Finally Draco said as he cleaned up the table.

Harry sighed as he walked towards Draco and helped clear up the table as well, "Yeah, that's still less for a celebration. If this celebration was exhausting, imagine actually throwing a party with all the office peers. I'm dreading it already."

Draco chuckled coming out of the kitchen with napkins, "yeah, well sir you should, you're a big man now. These parties are going to be really frequent from now on."

Harry pulled a chair out of the dining table and said as he sat down, "no way out, huh?"

Draco shook his head with a smile, "not anymore."

"Do you think I made the wrong choice?" Harry asked suddenly.

Draco stopped wiping the table off for a moment and looked at Harry with a frown, "Wrong choice? Why would you say that?"

"I don't know, I never thought about it all that much but it's coming to me now that it's all going to be really exhausting, working on the field, then coming back and handling the office. Blaise even pointed out the other day that Bailey leaves his office at 7 in the evening, to think about it, Draco, imagine his life, no wonder he's so happy retiring now- I don't know, maybe, I'm just having second thoughts- maybe I won't be able to manage all of it and I only did it because I thought I could but it's all becoming real now." Harry shrugged. He'd be lying if he said these fears didn't linger in the back of his head but for the first time, he spoke these things out loud with the only man he ever trusted the most.

Draco frowned and sat down in the chair next to Harry's and asked, "I don't get it, you've never been afraid of responsibilities, why suddenly?"

"It's not responsibilities I'm afraid of, it's everything else, the expectations, the work and I didn't want to say it but I fear I won't have enough time for anything anymore, to go out on weekends with Ron, meet Teddy on Sunday brunch, spend time with you, I feel like it'll all slip away from my hands eventually and the more I think about it, the more I realise that it already is slipping away. I don't want to get into work and regret it." Harry shrugged as if it was very casual thing to say but even he knew he was very scared for all of it.

"Harry, you're just fearing change."

"very much."

Draco pulled his chair closer to Harry and took Harry's hand in his own and said, "I have known you for years and I know you fear that something might go wrong and you'll fuck up but you don't realise that you won't mess up. Messing up isn't your thing, Harry. I know you're scared of everything but it'll all be fine, you don't have to start thinking about things immediately, you just got the offer of being the Head Auror, Harry-"

"But-"

"No, be here, in the moment. You've wanted to do this ever since you were 15 and I can't imagine one person who knew what they wanted to do since they were 15, it's a big deal, you've always wanted this. You've always liked being an Auror, you've always loved being on the field, you've always loved being James bond and catching bad guys,"

Harry chuckled lightly and Draco smiled at him,

"I mean no way you're as cool as James Bond, but you're good enough." Harry hit him lightly on his arms and Draco let out a low chuckle.

"But what if I'm not cut out for this?" Harry asked after a while.

"It's fine if you're not. You have your whole life ahead of you, Harry. You can be anything you want to be. You don't always have to fit in, you don't always have to be the best guy or the guy who has it all figured out. So what, if in 2 month's you realise that being Head Auror isn't as appealing, you can always change your job, take up another post. You can't always know exactly what you want. You have endless possibilities and you are never going to run out of time, okay, not with people that you care about."

"okay, yes all that is fine, but what if I won't be able to manage giving time to people I actually care about?"

"If they all care about you as well, they'll understand. Look, we'll drive down every Saturday to meet Teddy, you can always meet Ron on Friday night's for the game, discuss how shitty both of your lives are. What I'm saying is, you'll just be fine. I know you're scared and worried but it's all going to be fine. You can enjoy the moment right now." Draco tried to reassure Harry as he ran circles on his palm with his thumb.

Harry sighed as he relaxed a little, "What if it doesn't work out the way I want it to?"

Draco shrugged then said, "We'll figure it out, together. No matter what, we'll figure out anything that comes in your way. It's okay to be scared, Harry but you're not alone, you have me, you have Ron, you have your other friends, we're all here. And I don't know why you're scared that you won't be able to give me time because I'm always going to be here, everyday you come back from work, I'll be right here because I'm not going anywhere, Harry, really. You're not getting rid of me that easily."

Harry finally smiled for the first time after a while and relaxed further. He soon leaned forward and kissed Draco's cheeks, "What would I do without you?"

Draco snorted, "Die, obviously. You are a human cat, Harry. You need me."

Harry rolled his eyes while shaking his head but he was so sure that he could only ever do it fondly, "Idiot."

Draco smiled and said, "And you're a dumbass."

So, If in that moment Harry was scared for what might happen next or everything that may come his way or every change that would happen, he was sure of one thing and it was that, Draco was never going anywhere, he would always be there for him, always and he didn't know how he ever got that lucky but he did and he would never want anything or anyone else.

"Now, come on, we still have the living room to clean up and I am not going to miss out our re-watch on Devil wears Prada with wine." Draco said as he got up and quickly started cleaning up again.

Harry chuckled, shaking his head, he was in love with an idiot and he really wouldn't have it any other way.

Tagging some of y'all for a boost, don't hesitate if you're uncomfortable with the tag <3

@phoebe-delia ​ @chinike @elenaxoxo22 ​ @thecornerofbelu @nv-md ​ @lilthislilthat ​ @cissa-bee @missdrarrydawn @harryandginnydeservesbetter @draco-lucious-potter @textrovert-01 @dearly-devoted-dawdler

Promises on the Oak tree

"can you hold me?" He asked so simply, so calmly unlike what he truly felt.

They were sat on the bark of the Oak tree in the forbidden forest in the silence of the night after everyone had gone to sleep and they had managed to sneak past the doors to be with each other.

Draco nodded, "of course."

He brought his arms closer and wrapped them around Harry's body while Harry tried to hold onto him. He leaned his face over Draco's shoulder and stayed silent. Draco knew something was up, he had known it all day when he noticed Harry in the great hall in the morning barely speaking to anyone and spending most of his day away from any sort of company but unfortunately he had no idea what had actually happened and he was afraid that Harry would only want silence and peace that day.

They stayed silent for a really long time, long enough for Draco to cast a warming charm on both of them and for his mood to become more worrisome as to what had really happened until he finally decided one had to speak up and it had to be him.

"Harry? Are you okay?"

Harry only nodded but Draco knew after having been together long enough that he wasn't okay, there was something and Harry only wanted a little time and a little more comfort to finally talk about it.

"You know I love you, right?" Draco said suddenly.

Harry looked up at Draco almost confused.

"I don't know what happened but I'm here with you for whatever you want and I love you, I just want you to know that."

Harry shook his head suddenly, "It's just- Somedays are harder than the others."

Draco gently took hold of one of Harry's hands and intertwined their fingers together.

"I- I don't know what happened but I've just been strange all day and Ron and Hermione kept bothering me about it. You know those sort of days where you don't even know what's wrong but you're just- kind of thinking of every possible thing wrong about yourself?"

Draco frowned but Harry didn't look at him.

"I don't know what came over me but something just doesn't feel right.. it's almost like I don't even like myself anymore, that maybe I haven't for a while. These nightmares someday become too real that I start believing that i deserve it, that you-know-who is getting in my head and coming after me, that maybe I deserve it and everyone hates me at school, I deserve it. I know it's wrong but somedays are harder than the others and I forget the lines between what's real and what's not and I delve into that anxiety of never being good enough- and I don't know how to fix that. I've never known how to fix it."

Draco for the first time in their relationship ever wanted to throw Harry off a cliff for thinking he could ever deserve all those things. It made him so mad but he instantly became so upset because Harry was the most precious thing in the whole world and he deserved the absolute best and it was a shame that he couldn't make him believe that.

But Draco nodded, "Some days are worse than the others, I agree but we can't get hung up on those bad days, can we? If we keep falling into what we think we deserve and what we actually deserve, the world would fall into crisis. But we all have those days, you know. I have days myself when I feel so low that I just want to stay curled up in my bed all day and keep thinking over what people in the halls say about me but then I think about you and I realise that in every hall In the world you'll still love me same, my friends would still love me the same and probably my parent's too. The solution is not to sulk into those thoughts but to think of all the people who oppose our fears and I for one can tell you Harry Potter, you deserve the best in the whole universe."

"But how do you get out of that train of bad thoughts?" He asked.

Draco shrugged, "you gotta believe in the people who love you for a reason. Look, I know it's hard but there are people out there who love you for a reason and you have to believe their reasons and I know it's hard because believing the bad things is easier than the good things but we have to let our feelings slide and learn to love ourselves a little more."

"But what if I never learn how to love myself?"

Draco stared at Harry for long enough to feel water prickling at his eyes. How could an amazing person like him remotely even think about not being good enough?

"Then I'll do the loving on both our parts. I'll love you till you learn to love yourself, even if it rakes forever, I'll be here to show you exactly why you deserve all the love in the world."

And then Harry finally met his eyes and gave him a small smile, "I'll never understand why you love me but I'm glad you do."

"I'm glad you're glad I love you."

"you'll be here? For as long as it takes?"

"For as long as it takes."

"I love you, Draco."

And he loved him, too.

I know I'm updating after so long but today I finally had the time and the motivation to write and all I could do was putting first thing in my head in the prompt.

Tagging some of y'all for a boost, don't hesitate if you're uncomfortable with the tag <3

@phoebe-delia ​ @chinike @elenaxoxo22 ​ @thecornerofbelu @nv-md ​ ​ @cissa-bee @missdrarrydawn @harryandginnydeservesbetter @draco-lucious-potter @textrovert-01 @dearly-devoted-dawdler @drarrywords

Harry: Do you think Shakespeare ever used the word homie

Draco: don't know that but he sure was homo

Harry+ Draco:

(@drarrywords and me when I made this joke)

(Ps. No offense to anyone)

Till the sun burns and moon shines

It was in that one moment before he left when his eyes met mine and in that one gaze he said everything he couldn't find the words to say to me. His eyes poured the agony of having to walk away, the hurt, the pain, the ache, the grief of it the tainted history they'll carry.

I never thought we'd meet this end, one last looks kind of end. I always thought if there's one person who's meant to go down forever, it'll be with him but life plays one card so cruelly and from winning the game, you end up losing it all, just one last flip, just one sign, one number of a card that changes everything. For us, it was me forcing him to fall out of love with me.

But I think he knew that I forced him to leave me, I think he knew I never meant when I said I didn't love him anymore because he knows I'll never stop loving him but everything stands against us but Harry, if you don't know this, I hope when you met my eyes, I hope you learnt the words that never left my lips. I hope I told you in my gaze that we were just two people who were meant to meet but never meant to work out, that we were just a product of the right person at the wrong time, I hope I told you that I'll love and cherish everything you ever gave me and I'll never meet anyone like you, that I'll always, always love you and there will never be anybody else, that even if I cross your path one day know that I still love you, that in my dreams it'll only ever be you, that if I wish upon the moons and the stars and the infinity, it's you I'm wishing for but we were not meant to work out.

But if by chance, life flips me again, gives me another card and gives me one more chance, gives us one more chance, I'll take it and change our fate and that time I hope you take it too, until then you belong with someone else but I'll be yours, for as long as the sun burns and the moon shines.

(yes, I'm still alive, just trying to fix my life somehow)

Tagging some of y'all for a boost, don't hesitate if you're uncomfortable with the tag <3

@phoebe-delia ​ @chinike @elenaxoxo22 ​ @thecornerofbelu @nv-md ​ ​ @cissa-bee @missdrarrydawn @harryandginnydeservesbetter @draco-lucious-potter @textrovert-01 @dearly-devoted-dawdler @drarrywords

As December starts tomorrow, here's a list of microfics I'll be working on this month.

1. Forest

2. Church

3. Snow globe

4. Great hall

5. Concert

6. Waffles

7. Car

8. The Weasley burrow

9. Sun

10. Champagne

11. Maroon

12. Snow

13. Paris

14. Blackout

15. Fireplace

16. Seashell

17. War

18. Vineyard

19. Clockwork

20. Rockfeller centre

21. New beginnings

22. Golden

23. Temptation

24. Proposal

25. Cardigan

December generally tends to become that one month for me where I'm too nostalgic for my own good and like last year, I wanted to write some December prompts. I'm really looking forward to writing these prompts as regularly as possible because I genuinely miss writing a lot because I've realised I've almost stopped doing due to my general life. As usual my inbox would be open for any requests, anything that may come to your mind and I'm looking forward to this.. Much love<3

(@drarrywords and I came up with this list for our general writing but everyone is open to use this list and add your own)

A Christmas away from home

Word 1: Forest

"Just a little bit more. Watch your foot, try not to trip." Harry said as he held onto Draco with a blindfold around his eyes.

"Whatever it is, I hope it's as good for all the struggle you're putting me through." Draco said as he took a cautious step.

They walked a little bit more to what Draco could only assume was a forest until they finally came to a halt and Harry softly took off Draco's blindfold.

Harry stood beside Draco for a moment as he took it all in before he stepped ahead and started, "I know it's not a lot. I could only ask Pansy for so much help and I know this won't be as sophisticated as your Christmas but I wanted to give you your own sophisticated celebration with just the two of us so we can have our own type of Christmas celebration."

The thing was, this year Draco was unable to go back home for Christmas because of the ongoing court procedures still running around after the war. Both Draco and his parents believed that it would be better if he didn’t come home that year but It came up only a few days ago in a conversation while they were in the great hall after hours when Draco finally said the the reason he was sad is because he couldn't go home for the holidays and despite being at home wasn’t the best, he liked the warm feeling of decorating christmas tree, hanging around decorations, having a small party of their own and how it is the one day of the year he enjoyed being at home the most because nobody said anything to him. He misses all of that. 

Harry came forward and took Draco’s hands in his both his hands and said, “Look, I know this isn’t the same. It probably is not even half as close to the party you may have or the christmas tree may not be as giant as your house but I just couldn’t see you being bummed out because of it.”

“Harry- this is- Why?” Draco couldn’t bring himself to say anything else. 

“Why what?” 

“Why would you do this? And how? Like I just don’t get it.” Draco fumbled with his own words because he was too overwhelmed. 

Harry chuckled, “Because I wanted you to feel at home for Christmas and I’m quite seriously dying to listen that I am unfunny as hell and you haven’t said that in a week.” 

Draco gave him a small chuckle and then turned away from Harry as tears glimmered in his eyes. 

“Draco,” Harry softly said as he hugged Draco from behind, nuzzling his face into his neck, comforting him and he said after a while, “Will you celebrate Christmas with me?” 

Draco finally nodded, pushing away the happy tears that came in his eyes. 

“Shall we?” Harry asked when Draco finally turned around and he took Draco’s hand in his own again and intertwined them together. Draco nodded and they walked around the small area Harry had decorated with golden fairy lights, a very small christmas tree and a table in the center with bunch of candles lit over it. 

“So, how is this going to work?” Draco finally asked as he took all of it in. 

“I’m glad you asked. First, we’ll have dinner which by the way, I did not cook because you and I both know that I am a terrible cook sometimes and I didn’t want to risk a perfect evening. Next, we’ll actually hang a bunch of stuff on that small Christmas tree, then I’ll show the gifts I bought you, and then I have a little surprise for you and that would be the last thing for the evening and finally end today with a kiss.” Harry explained thoroughly. 

“I can’t believe you’ve inserted kissing as a part of your masterplan, Harry.” Draco smiled. 

“Monsieur, kissing is the most essential part of the evening.” Harry said emphasizing the from the sentence with almost too much pride that Draco wondered how much could he possibly love this man without any reason but there seemed no end. 

And as planned, they did all the things Harry had planned for the evening, from dinner to gifts that Draco promised to give Harry the next morning, until it came to the final surprise for the evening. 

“So, what’s the surprise?” Draco asked as he stepped closer to Harry and ran his hand through his hair. 

Harry visibly blushed but composed himself too soon and accioed the brooms. 

“Ever since you took time off Quidditch, I’ve felt very lonely about playing Quidditch because I have no opponent I like but I’ve noticed how much you miss flying and I know that its your favourite thing in the world,So,” Harry took a pause and bought Draco’s hands close and kissed it softly and continued, “Will you do me the honour of flying with me this evening?” 

Draco looked at Harry for a moment longer than two, feeling his heart beat louder and his heart growing fonder and fonder for this boy with the most atrocious hair he could ever come across but damn him, he was feeling too many things for Harry at once that he doubted if it was humanly possible to do so. 

He smiled at Harry and then nodded his head, “I’d be very happy to fly with you, Harry Potter.” 

Harry grinned back and handed one of the brooms to Draco and he himself took one before both of them mounted it and took off in the air. 

They flew far high in the air and in circles, screaming and laughing all it off for far too long until they naturally grew tired and came to a halt next to each other, hanging mid air. 

Draco let out a long breath, still smiling, “I never realised how beautiful Hogwarts look from up here.” 

Harry smiled as well, “Hogwarts has always been beautiful, its just that this is the first time you’re encountering it during the best time of the year.” 

“How do you know this?”

“I came here once during the 6th year, I was just flying to get things clear off my mind when I saw this. Its astonishing really how you can be around something for so long but never realise how beautiful or good it really is.” Harry said. 

It was true honestly. Hogwarts looked the most beautiful castle in the whole world at the moment and it wasn’t just about the castle, it was about everything in and out, the lights, the snow, hogsmeade, the giant Christmas tree, it all looked so beautiful and Draco couldn’t believe he has never seen it before. But the most beautiful thing at the time was being in the air with Harry. 

Draco kept looking at Harry so fondly for so long that he forgot he had to even look away all the while wondering how did he ever get so lucky until Harry said something about how they should probably go back to the ground. He was in love, not just with him but every little thing, things he does, this moment, being here for Christmas, Hogwarts, with Christmas and for the first time, he finally felt like he belonged somewhere and it was this moment, he belonged to every moment with Harry. 

When they finally hit the ground, Harry took away Draco’s broom and his own and leaned it against the tree. Draco sensed the silence in the moment and used it as an opportunity to let everything out of his heart. 

“Harry?” 

Harry turned around and came to stand just in front of Draco, “Yes, love.” 

Draco melted and he let out the biggest smile he could ever pull off and without thinking he kissed Harry. Somewhere he thinks he was waiting for this moment all evening but he finally did it and it felt like snow melting away in the sun. It felt like the perfect moment, the perfect time, everything just perfect and that person Draco was kissing, the most perfect of them all. 

When they finally separated, Draco smiled at Harry still holding onto his neck and spoke so softly, “I loved all of it today. You have no idea how much all of this meant to me and being able to spend all this time with you, celebrating tonight with you, it was the most perfect thing ever and you made it all so perfect, so, I think I want to say thankyou but much more than that I want to say I love you, in the most real and pure way. I wouldn’t have Christmas any other way.” 

Harry smiled back at Draco and gave him a little peck on the cheek and said, “I love you, too and it has never felt more real than now.” 

They stood there for a few more minutes holding onto each other until the clock stroke midnight and they decided that it’d be the best to go back inside before the snowfall begins again. 

They were finally walking hand in hand towards the castle when Draco finally said one last thing of the evening, “By the way, Harry, Quidditch is no longer my favourite thing in the world, its you.” 

And Harry could only smile, “And you’re mine.”  

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Remember everything

Word 2: Church

He softly grazes the top of the wooden bench as he breathes deeply.

There's always been some sort of peace he finds in sitting inside the church after hours when nobody comes inside, when it's almost closing down and the bell starts ringing for midnight. He thinks maybe it comes from being brought to church when he was a little boy and would sit quietly. Even as a little kid, he knew it was the most peaceful place in the world and today, he could use some peace.

Somehow the war was not ending. It was growing incredibly harder and harder to stay inside the manor with Voldemort practically living in one of the quarters making all of their lives miserable but what option did he have. He couldn't run away, he couldn't step back, he couldn't fight back, he was pretty much helpless and out of all of this, he was worried sick about Harry.

The ministry was very stuck on trying to find Harry, no.1 wanted criminal but wherever Harry was hiding, it was better that way.

But tonight Draco felt lonely. He remembers the last Christmas he had with Harry and he wishes he could go back in time and live that day over and over again, just because it was the last perfect moment they had.

"I bought you something." Harry said giving a calming smile.

"You really didn't have to, Harry." Draco insisted. Harry had already given him 2 gifts and he was worried Harry might just never stop.

"This is the last one, I promise." Harry said.

Draco sighed and then nodded, "Show me then.".

Harry smiled again and he fetched a small box from his pocket and opened it.

It was a small locket of a snitch.

"This is a replica of the snitch we followed in our first match. I couldn't think of anything but we both love quidditch and we do have some weird recollection of trying to catch the snitch against each other the first time. I want you to have this, as something to remember me by." Harry explained.

Draco was immediately about to cut Harry off and say something like, they don't need remembering or anything but Harry cut him off to that.

"I don't want to be negative but just look at my history. There's somebody inside the castle who's trying to kill Dumbledore and have me for Voldemort. It's always been clear that one day I'll have to face voldemort and I have a feeling that it'll come sooner than I imagined. I always get in trouble every year and you say I have survival instincts of a cat but I'm not trying to be funny- it's just, we both know that this relationship is not bound to be forever, you and I have always been aware of it but I don't want either one of us to forget this. So, this locket represents that I won't forget you and I hope you won't forget me either." Harry said almost too sadly at the end.

Draco felt overwhelmed, a lot. He wasn't a man of many emotions but right now his heart felt so heavy that he wanted to cry. It deeply saddened him because he was firstly betraying Harry and he could never find the courage in himself to tell Harry the truth but also because he knew that he would be the reason why the relationship would end and it would end very soon.

He looked at Harry for a moment then shook his head, "Harry, no matter what, no matter what goes down, I want you to know that I will always remember you, always love you."

But he knew it'd be their last Christmas.

"I love you too, Draco. I'll always remember you and always remember how you loved me."

Draco smiled sadly at Harry then turned away for a moment to discard his thoughts about telling him the complete truth but he knew the damage it'd do to Harry, so he chose not to. He finally said, "Put it around my neck."

And Harry did and they laughed a bit about how it ruined Draco's aesthetics but also fit quite right in but they enjoyed the last few moments in that forest, the togetherness, the warmth, the embrace before the fall.

Until Draco finally touched the locket and said, "I'm never taking it off, ever. I'll carry it with me forever."

And he meant it.

Sitting in that Church in silence, exactly a year after it happened, he traced the locket in his hand, ran circles around it and shed a tear. He rested his head against the bench and whimpered wishing Harry safety and comfort and he just hoped that Harry was still alive. He wanted Harry to win the war so badly. He needed Harry to win the war so they could finally be together again. He needed Harry to win the war for the whole wizarding world, for past, present and the future, for everything.

He stayed there a while until it was too late and the lights were starting to turn off and he knew he should leave but he needed to do one last thing.

He took out his wand and cast a patronus.

"Find him and tell him to be safe. Tell him, I miss him tonight the most and that I love him more than life itself. Tell him, I still remember everything and I always will."

And the patronus went right through the window and the final lights shut off casting darkness inside the whole church. Draco stood up as he heard Christmas Carol going off somewhere and thought about approaching those voices. It came from behind the streets and he looked at the choir sing from the far corner, not to be seen by anyone. He was about to leave and go back to the manor when a bright blue flamed stag patronus came in front of him and said nothing but went right through where Draco's locket rested and Draco needed no other words.

He walked back home holding the locket close to his chest, "I remember everything."

Projecting my little sadness into this

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Under the Christmas tree

Word 3: snow globe

"I'm sorry I'm late" Harry hurriedly said as he closed the door behind him, almost shivering and hanging his coat in the stand, "There was this huge truck that just wouldn't move."

Draco immediately helped Harry with the coat and took Harry's hands in his own and warmed them up.

Harry smiled but they both knew they didn't have a lot of time.

"You're not that late but we only have 5 minutes before he runs down the stairs and starts singing Feliz Navidad or Merry Christmas all over again." Draco kept his tone hushed.

"Did you get it?" Draco finally asked as they moved towards the living room.

Harry held out the package from the other hand and showed it to Draco who took it immediately and skimmed through the bag.

"Now all we have to do is set it under the tree." Draco said and they did exactly that.

And in 2 minutes Teddy came running down the stairs singing Merry Christmas while Harry and Draco pretended to be asleep in their room. So, when Teddy reached the tree, they both knew how excited he was but they said nothing until he came running into their room and started jumping on the bed.

"Teddy, what is it?" Harry asked as he shuffled through for his glasses, turning on the lamp along side.

"The gifts, Uncle Harry. See the gifts." Teddy excitedly sat down between the both of them and started showing his small hands full of gifts.

Draco got up from his fake sleep as well and pushed himself towards the head of the bed and took Teddy in his lap.

"Excited to see your gifts?" Draco smiled and teddy instantly nodded.

"Which one shall we open first?" Harry asked sweetly.

Teddy pointed out a random one and they opened that first, then they opened the next and next until only was left and they finally opened it as well.

It was a snow globe.

"My fourth snow globe. Santa remembered!" Teddy exclaimed as he got all the more excited by the second to take it into his hands.

"Be careful Teddy. It might break." Harry said as he carefully handed him the globe and Teddy took it as carefully as possible and watched it with so much endearment that it warmed both of their hearts.

It was the same gift they had put under the tree at the last minute because they knew how much these snow globes meant to Teddy.

It started out when Harry first came to pick up Teddy from his grandparents and noticed that the only thing Remus and Tonks left behind as a legacy was a snow globe, ever since that day Harry decided that every Christmas he'd buy Teddy a snow globe in return for Remus' and Tonks love he could never get as much.

"I'm going to go and put this on my shelf." Teddy said and immediately took it from Harry's hand and ran back upstairs leaving all the rest of the gifts behind.

It was beautiful to see that he only ever cared for the snow globe, that it was the only gift that held the most meaning even to a 4 year child.

Draco embraced Harry in that moment, bringing him closer in a cuddle and putting away the gifts aside and smiled at him.

"You do an awfully good job at giving Teddy everything he ever needs."

"That's what I'm supposed to do."

"Do you think Remus would be happy at the thought of us raising Teddy together?" Harry asked.

Draco thought for a while and then said, "I think he'd be incredibly proud of us pushing past our history and deciding to raise Teddy as our own."

Harry smiled, "I think he'd be proud of us too."

He kissed Draco one last time before he turned off the lights knowing exactly that he'd never find anyone better for raising Teddy with.

I know this isn't the best but bear with me😭

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New beginnings

Word 4: great hall

'meet me in the great hall at midnight. <3. DM.'

Harry unfolded up the note, checking the timing once again before keeping it back in the pocket. He sneaked past the only few students in the common room and past the gates and approached the Great Hall.

Honestly, Harry had absolutely no idea why Draco called him, after hours especially at midnight when they literally met in the afternoon after Potions. It seemed sort of weird but Harry wasn't placing any bets on anything, to think of it, Draco has been acting a little weird lately anyways and upon asking, he's never said anything, so maybe tonight would be just that.

He walked past empty corridors and finally opened the doors of the Great Hall softly and shut it behind him.

"Draco?" Harry called out.

The Hall was still lit up so he could see around the place at once but Draco was nowhere in sight until the door opened again and he saw Draco walk in.

"Sorry, I'm late. You didn't have to wait for long? Did you?" Draco asked but Harry shook his head.

"What are we doing here? It's way past hours." Harry said with some hand motions.

Draco sighed then continued, "Okay, you know how you've been suspicious that I've been hiding something from you lately or been acting weird?"

"Yeah, it's pretty evident because you walked into the classroom without your robe on and then ran right out to get when you actually never forget wearing the robes because you pretend to be all cool by not choosing to wear the school sweater but you know-"

"Yeah, yeah I get your point." Draco cut him off.

"Get to the point." Harry insisted, shivering a little bit.

"You're cold?" Draco asked but before Harry could answer, he cast a warming spell and Harry's shivering almost went away immediately.

"Draco- why are we here?" Harry asked again.

"You know how you mentioned the other day that you never had a chance to decorate a Christmas tree because your holidays were always far from normal before the war and then you said you've never seen anyone actually decorating the Great Hall tree and you wondered who did it, it's the house elves by the way but this year- we get to do it." Draco explained.

Harry frowned, "You mean students?"

Draco shook his head with a sigh, "No, you and me."

"Why?" Harry asked almost confused.

Draco took a step closer and took Harry's hand's in his own, "because you won't admit it but you hate that you've missed out on the normal parts of celebrations. You've never had a good childhood and you know it and you've always dealt with one thing or the another. You've missed out on being able to enjoy the parts of actually doing thing's before days of Christmas and I see it in you when you say you've never actually heard a choir singing Carol's in front of you or been drunk at a party or just having a fun time watching a Christmas movie or something and Harry, if I could give you one chance at trying to remotely feel what it's like to be in Christmas feels, I'd do anything for it, for you,"

Harry took his words in for a long moment before he smiled at Draco, "You saying all of this and understanding everything means everything to me, Draco. Your gesture is enough you know-"

"No, but we're decorating this tree our own way. We have no choice."

"Why do we have no choice?"

"I quite literally begged the house elves to let us do it. They apparently like doing this but I suppose you can say I bribed all of them with something or the other, so now they've all settled into not decorating it. So, basically we have to do it, whether we want it or not because I'd rather not be killed by a bunch of house elves." Draco explained very monotonously that it made Harry laugh.

"They're not very easy to bribe you know." Draco added.

Harry nodded and kissed Draco's cheek, "You're the most adorable person I know."

"Harry Potter, I'm not adorable. Please, no." Draco pulled off his fake offended look to which Harry rolled his eyes fondly and kissed Draco on the lips.

"You're still adorable." Harry said after the kiss.

"Fine, but only because you call me that." Draco caved in unable to control his blush.

Harry smiled at him then said, "So, shall we decorate the tree?"

Draco nodded.

And they spent an hour there decorating the Christmas tree, all the while Draco putting away thing's Harry was hanging because "it didn't match the aesthetic" and Harry hanging it up regardless but they liked doing it together. They liked the idea of being alone after hours and doing something that was actually fun and somewhat beautiful but most of all, they were doing something Harry missed out on so many years and it was a start of a new beginning. New beginnings they got to make on their own and being able to start those new beginnings with each other was the best part of all of it.

When they were finally done, they stood hand in hand a few feet away from the tree and looked at their work with smiles all over their faces.

"This is actually pretty good." Draco finally said turning to Harry who was already looking at Draco.

"What?" Draco asked.

Harry shook his head, "Just looking at you."

"why?"

"Because you're the only person who's given this all that much thought and I can't believe that I get to love you everyday. I'm just so lucky." Harry smiled.

Draco smiled at Harry then turned to face him, "I'm the lucky one. What you've done and what you do, it's incredible, Harry. If anyone's the lucky one, it's me. This is the smallest thing I could've ever done." He said as he kissed his forehead softly.

Harry embraced Draco in a hug after that, cuddling into him, "I still loved it. Thank you, Draco."

Draco kissed the top of Harry's head again and said, "Anything for you, Harry. You deserve the world."

I have no idea what I was going for but this is it 😭

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Started with a muffin

Word 5: Concert

Harry and Ron were walking hurriedly to their last lecture of the day, not wanting to miss another one of them because of the Quidditch practice or they'll hardly make it through the year.

"Have you thought about those tickets you got?" Ron asked in between the conversation.

Harry shook his head, "I was thinking I could skip going to the concert. Just stay in or something."

Ron shook his head almost rigorously, "You've been inside for far too long, I think you should really take this opportunity to go out and have some fun, you know. It's about time you did."

Harry thought about it and he knew Ron was right but he couldn't find it in himself to go. He was deeply unmotivated and to say somewhat even depressed to go to such a happening place but maybe somewhere it won't be so bad so he simply nodded and said he'll think about it.

It went through the whole day after that, Harry not thinking about the tickets all that much until he was walking out of the kitchen and ran into Draco.

"Potter." Draco nodded his head, Harry did the same acknowledging him.

"You should try their blueberry muffin, they're to die for." Draco suggested pointing at the muffin Harry had in his hand.

Harry looked at his muffin then nodded, "Next time when Hermione forces me to study in the library all night long, I'll bring your muffin so there would be something else killing me." But the moment Harry said it, he was worried Draco might take his humour otherwise but to his surprise Draco smiled.

"Good one." Draco said.

Harry smiled back at him, "my source of inspiration." He said as he lifted the muffin in his hand.

Draco chuckled at that, "It must be awful if that's the source of inspiration."

"Hey, you just said you liked my joke." Harry playfully whined.

"it's not the joke. It's the source of inspiration. It's awfully dry." Draco tried.

Harry smiled seeing how that one worked then there was silence for a moment until Draco spoke up,

"I heard you got those concert tickets as a secret santa gift."

"Oh, yeah.. I'll probably pass on that." Harry shrugged.

Draco frowned, "The band is not that awful, you know. They're very low-key so there's not much crowd. If I were you, I'd definitely go just to make a joke over how I can't play guitar because my fingers are too precious."

Harry almost laughed at that but then the school bell rung. It was 10 in the night and they just crossed their curfew.

"Anyways, though. You enjoy your muffin, I'll go." Draco bid his bye after that and started walking away but Harry remained there standing and realised that in all the conversations he's had with people, this one he could really enjoy if he knew Draco well enough, he even liked this one.

So, he acted in impulse.

"Draco, wait." Harry said aloud. Draco turned around.

"I have two tickets, do you want to come with?" He asked.

Draco stood there for a moment then smiled and nodded, "I'll be there, Potter."

"Harry." He corrected.

Draco smiled again, "I'll be there, Harry."

"I'd like that." Harry smiled back and then Draco walked away.

Harry went to bed thinking about Draco's smile.

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Want to decorate Christmas tree together?

Word 6: waffles

This idea came from the most random conversation so here we are.

As soon as the bell rang, Draco hurriedly answered the door although he was pretty sure it was too early for anything and he didn't have anything to be delivered at the place but he went anyway.

He opened the door to a man holding a sheet of paper, "Yes?"

"Delivery for Draco Malfoy?"

"That's me but I didn't order anything." Draco frowned.

"It's a parcel." The man said and handed Draco the sheet of paper to sign it.

"What is it?" Draco asked as he stepped more outside the door to notice almost a 5 feet tall Christmas tree standing erect.

"Do you know who might've sent it?" Draco asked but the man shook his head.

Draco signed the paper and the man's co-workers took the tree inside and placed it where Draco asked them to.

"This came with it." One of the co-worker said as he handed him a small piece of card.

As all of them left, Draco finally opened the small card and immediately recognised the handwriting and smiled.

He took out his phone from his pocket and dialled the number.

"Morning." Draco immediately greeted as he picked up the call on the other end.

"You sound too chirpy for me in the morning." Harry said but Draco could still recognise the smile behind the call.

"It's 9 am, why are you still sleeping?" Draco asked as he looked at the tree endearingly.

"Because it's a Saturday, Draco. But I'm up now." Harry said as Draco heard some shuffling on the other end.

"I got your parcel today. When were you planning on telling me that you bought me a 5 feet tall Christmas tree?" Draco asked.

Harry sighed on the other end, "You said you didn't have time to buy the Christmas tree with everything going around and how the shops are too far away. I just wanted you to be able to decorate the tree on Christmas and since we can't be together, it's hard enough."

"Yes but it's only one Christmas. I could've bought a small one for me."

“Yes but I bought it for you now.” Harry said. 

Draco smiled, “You’re a menace, Harry Potter.” 

“Yes, I know but now tell me do you want to decorate it together?” Harry asked.

“We’re in different places, Harry. How are we ever supposed to do it together?” Draco asked confused. 

“We have internet, Draco, we can always do video call.” 

“You know I suck at muggle technology.” Draco remarked. 

“Well, we can do a call and stay on it while we decorate it together and then send each other pictures.” Harry suggested. 

Draco thought about it for a moment, it didn’t actually make sense to do it together, the process of decorating it while on the call seemed like a time consuming idea even. 

“What would we get out of decorating it together?” Draco frowned.

“That we get to decorate it together? Come on, do you want to or not?” Harry asked. 

Draco was still confused but then there was something in Harry’s offer that made him want to do it together, so he agreed. 

They both agreed to call in the evening after they had done all their work, chores and when nobody would disturb them so they would just be with each other. So, when the evening came they did just that, they started decorating the tree together on a call with wired earphones plugged in to their phones. 

Draco had thought it would be almost odd but they slipped briskly into conversations. Harry kept asking random questions like if the cat ornament would look better next to the dog ornament or licorice ornament which made Draco wonder what the hell Harry was doing but at the same time it was all very amusing. He told Harry about his family traditions and how they used to celebrate christmas together and about how every year he would bake cake with his mum as a Christmas ritual but can't this year because his parents' are arriving late this year while Harry told him about his Christmases especially the ones he spent at the burrow. They also got around talking about how things are going and somehow some old school talks and they both realised how funny it was when Draco used to try to get Harry’s attention. They laughed off most of the call but it was just a beautiful bubble moment Draco never wanted to get out of. Towards the end of decorating, Harry started complaining about how Marco, his dog was eating the Christmas balls which had Draco laughing all the more and then making fun of Marco. 

When it was finally done, Draco clicked the picture of his Christmas tree and sent it to Harry and Harry in return sent two pictures, one of his Christmas tree and the other one of Marco chewing off the Christmas ball which made him smile. 

Draco was looking at both the Christmas trees and then he realised, 

“I’ve never decorated a Christmas tree with anyone before.” 

“Really? What about your Mum and Dad at the Manor?” 

“Nope. They were mostly busy with Christmas invites or holding a Christmas ball and I didn’t even use to decorate the main hall tree even, just the small one in my bedroom hallway.” 

“Well.. now you’ve decorated it with someone, how does it feel?”

Draco thought about it for a moment, then looked at his tree and finally said it, 

“Like I want to celebrate the rest of them with you,”  

There was a pause after that. Harry didn’t say anything so Draco went on, 

“I didn’t think about it before but I want to and I know we haven’t been dating all that long but you know the moment when you just know-”

“Draco, I love you.” 

There was a pause again and Draco continued again,

“I-I never knew I wanted to decorate it with you. I didn’t even know it was a romantic gesture till now but Harry- nobody would ever do this for me, send me a Christmas tree, ask me to decorate it with him- I guess what I’m trying to say is that I love you, too, Harry. Merlin, it feels so good to finally say it out loud.” Draco and Harry both chuckled at their ends. 

“I want to decorate all of my mine with you too, Draco.” Harry finally said and Draco smiled. 

“Do you want to bake cake together as well?” Harry asked after a while.

Draco grinned on his side, "Absolutely. Tomorrow at 5?"

"Done."

In that moment, he realised he's found it, he's found the one man he had been looking his whole life for and he’s never finding anyone better. Ever. He didn't need to find anymore, it was him. It was Harry. All along.

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Come away with me

Word 7: Car 

“On today’s special we have George Marwin here to talk about the collapsing econo-"

Draco switched the channel. It made the buzz sound for a while before it finally landed up on a station and the song played out on its own.

It was, Come away with me by Norah Jones.

Draco reached the radio to change the station again but his fingers stopped him before he could actually change it.. Today he decided he won't change. Not today.

"Can we just put on some songs?" Harry practically whined as he became all the more restless with the journey.

Draco huffed and turned on the radio and Come away with me started playing and he was about to change it but Harry shoved his hand away.

"Let it play. It's a beautiful song. Come away with me and I will write you a song." Harry sang.

Draco turned his head to see Harry singing with such an off tune but singing with so much passion and rolling the windows down that made his hair a mess because of the breeze.

He kept looking at Harry as he noticed the colour of his eyes in the drowning sun from far off the road and how the sun reflected on his face. If Draco had to use one word for how he looked it would be, exquisite but he looked so much more than that, he looked somber, like a canvas painted in all your favourite and beautiful colours. He looked so beautiful that Draco wondered how did he not look at Harry more often.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Harry asked as he noticed Draco still looking at him more than the road.

"what way?" Draco asked.

"Like- just like- you've never seen it before." Harry said but he knew the words he was actually trying to phrase were that he had never seen someone as beautiful but he didn't say it, just yet.

"I've just never realised how beautiful you really are." Draco admitted.

Harry visibly blushed. He doesn't understand how Draco still has that fluttering effect on him but he still does and whenever it happens, he can't stop smiling.

Draco added when he noticed Harry trying to fight off a smile, "You're beautiful when you smile. I love your smile."

Harry blushed even more then turned his head away and buried it in his hands while Draco chuckled at him.

"Why did you have to actually admit it? You never compliment me." Harry groaned again.

Draco smiled, "Just because I don't say it often doesn't mean I don't feel it, that I don't think you're beautiful. I actually believe you're the most beautiful person I've ever met."

"You'll kill me. Stop. Go back to being the Draco who says I look like a mess and that I wear ridiculous clothes."

Draco laughed. He brought his hand closer to Harry's face and made him look at him.

"Sometimes it's just fun to see you this flustered. Look at you, blushing till you can't stop."

"Ugh, Draco- I hate you." Harry turned away groaning.

Draco still laughed, "I love you, too."

But in a few minutes Harry told him he loved him too and that Draco was a stupid ass who looked beautiful too.

As he made it through the song, he didn't realise the tears that had slipped down his cheeks until he saw himself in the rear view mirror of his car. He wiped away the tears from the back of his sleeves and changed the channel again.

It wasn't the same anymore. This song wasn't the same anymore because he no longer heard it with Harry. He had not even heard that song in months because he knew it reminded him of Harry and he was trying to cut off from everything that reminded him of Harry but he has been trying so hard for the last few months. He has done an incredible job at holding back his tears, at holding back his feelings, at holding back his ache. All of it he pushed behind a door but today it slipped past that door and he couldn't stop crying.

He pulled over to the side of the road and rested his head against the steering, his heart heavy and his throat constraining him. He stayed there a long time reminiscing over the lost love that would never return until he stopped crying and looked at himself. He finally wiped away all the tears, he built up his walls again, he turned off the radio and drove off like all of that never happened at all.

But it happened and it hurt him but sometimes things don't work out the way we want it to and Draco was a victim of a love story that was never meant to last.

Tagging some of y'all for a boost, don't hesitate if you're uncomfortable with the tag <3

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Weasley Christmas

Word 8: The Weasley burrow

"You're up early, Harry." Ginny said as Harry came down from the stairs.

"Yeah. Habit recently, I guess." He replied as he entered the kitchen where she was and sat down on one of the chairs.

"Coffee?" Ginny asked and Harry nodded.

"Why are you up so early?" Harry asked as he took the cup of coffee from her and thanked her.

She shrugged, "Habit I guess."

Harry nodded and took a sip from his coffee.

"You're missing Draco, right? That's why you can't sleep." Ginny said after a while.

Harry groaned and propped his chin on the table, "Is it that obvious?"

Ginny laughed a little and nodded, "Very, but I don't blame you. It's okay if you miss him and if you can't sleep around without him. It's a sweet thing."

"Yeah but I should be able to. It's been days." Harry groaned.

Ginny smiled at him then playfully ruffled his hair, "You're too much in love, Harry."

"I know." He muffled as he put his hand in his face.

"I really miss him, Ginny and it hurts here." He said pointing to his chest, "and the fact I won't be able to spend Christmas with him, it's just so sad."

Ginny smiled down at him and sat down next to him, "You love him too much, Harry but do you know how lucky you are to have found this? Most people don't find this unconditional love. If not this Christmas, I'm sure you'll spend many more with him and those would compensate for this year and it's so sweet to see you get upset about it but it'll be fine, Harry. You'll be able to sleep at night."

Harry obviously knew she meant the last part as a joke but he wishes it to be be true.

"I hope it gets better than this."

"Want to help with shopping, bake cookies and cake to keep your mind off it?" Ginny asked finally after a while.

Harry thought about it for a moment but then he realised distracting himself was a much better option than sitting and thinking about Draco's absence.

So, throughout the day, they went shopping, bought small gifts, wines, food and what not for the burrow and when they came back they baked cookies and cake and all of this took all day so by the time they were finally done with all of it, it was past 7 in the evening and everyone was getting ready to watch Christmas movie in the living room when then bell rung and Ginny asked Harry to answer the door.

Harry distracted, went and opened the door and for a moment he didn't really believe what he saw until Ginny fazed him back into reality by pushing him towards Draco and practically forcing him to hug Draco.

"You-" Harry muffled as he got embraced in the hug and his voice choked him.

"But you said you won't be back until after New year?" Harry asked as they broke out of the hug.

"Yeah but then Ginny called and I- I just knew I had to come back for Christmas." Draco smiled.

"Thank me later." Ginny sang behind Harry.

Harry couldn't believe himself still and hugged Draco again, "I just- I cannot tell you how happy I am to see you here now. I missed you so much, Draco."

Draco rubbed Harry's back and said, "I'vs missed you, too. I honestly can't survive a day without you either, Harry." He pushed Harry a little behind so he could look at his face and continued, "Harry, I swear I meant it when I said I want to spend all my Christmases with you and all my new years and everything but I did not hold upto my words. I can't do that Harry. I don't want to make promises I can't keep, you mean too much to me and I just can't believe I was going to let some stupid boss dictate me into staying at some place. Nothing is more important than you, Harry. Nothing is more important than my love."

Harry almost tore up and kissed Draco on his lips, gently yet with a stern desire maybe because of not having done it in a while but the urgency to kiss Draco said more than just a kiss, it was all the promises, all the tears, all the happiness he shared with Draco. It was his emotions, it was his feelings, it was his utmost happiness that Draco came, for him.

"Get a room." Ron yelled from behind and they broke apart laughing in each other's embrace.

"Want to celebrate Christmas Weasley style?" Harry asked Draco.

"I'd be glad to." Draco smiled at Harry.

And they did just that. They celebrated Christmas Weasley style and there was no Christmas better than this.

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All the Sun rises with you

Word 9: Sun

"Harry, Harry. Wake up." Draco shook him. Harry groaned in his sleep, tossing to the other side.

"Harry, come on. Wake up or we'll miss it." Draco shook him again while Harry groaned. Draco swore to himself that he wouldn't throw water at Harry but he didn't say anything about kicking him off the bed.

"Draco." Harry yelled, almost annoyed looking up from the ground.

"You were not waking up and you told me to wake you up like this. Come on, get ready or we'll be late." Draco said.

Harry looked at the time in the watch then groaned again and finally got up.

"Don't know why we have to do this?"

Draco rolled his eyes and walked out of the room knowing Harry is only cranky because he woke him up and because he didn't have his coffee yet.

Said so, Harry and Draco did a light breakfast, drank their coffees and finally set out in their car for the view point.

"You done being cranky?" Draco asked while driving.

"Yeah. Needed coffee you know. How far is this place by the way?" Harry asked.

Draco shook his head, "Not that far. 15 minutes drive. We'll be there soon. If you want to take a nap till then, you can."

"It's okay. I'd rather see the view." Harry said.

They didn't talk much on the drive later because it was too early to talk for them. It was 4:30 in the morning, it only made sense. They finally reached the place after a while and climbed up the hill for the top, laughing and Harry making jokes all the while.

When they finally reached the top, Draco stood there for a few seconds completely mesmerized by the whole view of the the town from the hill.

"Shall we sit?" Draco asked as he turned to Harry.

"Sure."

Draco smiled back at him and they finally sat down on one of the tree barks, their legs hanging off in the wind swaying back and forth.

"If you could change anything about this place, would you?" Draco asked as he created a small bonfire a few steps in front of them to keep them warm.

Harry shook his head, "But I might want to make this place just ours, you know."

Draco blushed, "Stop being sappy. It's too early for this."

"Says the one who came up with the romantic plan to watch a sun rise together." Harry pointed.

"Yes but-"

"Draco, shush, it's romantic. You're just as sappy as me." Harry said. Draco finally gave in, he didn't have many options anyway.

"Would you?" Harry asked Draco.

Draco shook his head, "Although I would like to make this place ours as well."

Harry smiled at him then nudged him, teasing him about being sappy but Draco caved in. He was sappy. Very.

They talked for a while until Draco pointed at the light coming from the far edge.

"It's Sun rising." Harry smiled.

Draco unconsciously held Harry's hand and Harry held his and they very eagerly watched the sunrise. In that moment they never realised how beautiful it was to just be next to each other and watch Sun rise. It was exquisite.

Draco even gasped in between and Harry turned a little to see him and he couldn't turn back away somehow.

"You're gorgeous." Harry finally said.

Draco turned to Harry and smiled, "You're romantic."

"Only for you." Harry said.

Draco smiled and pecked Harry on the lips, "I love you."

"I love you, too."

"You know, I've seen many sun rise but this is the best." Draco suddey said after a while.

"Why?"

"Simple, because it's with you."

Harry smiled at Draco and he didn't need to say anything, he knew he didn't. He leaned his head on Draco's shoulder and just stayed like that for a long time until the Sun was all rose up in the sky, it was then when Harry finally said it,

"This is my favourite moment, Draco."

And Draco nodded, "Mine too."

It was a perfect moment. If they could stay there forever, they knew they would because they knew they'd never be this age again and they'd be never be in love as much as they were now and it was the most beautiful feeling to have.

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Not His Saviour

(I honestly have no idea what I've written, it's open to interpretation. I won't even mind if this doesn't get notes at all)

Word 10: Champagne

Draco leaned against the bar, his hand propped behind on the counter, his left leg crossed over his right and drink in another hand.

Classic Draco Malfoy move.

He very strictly abode by staying away from all the gossip, from all the talks, from crowd, in his own company with a fine glass of champagne.

He wasn't being cocky, no, far from that, he just liked his own peace a lot but it was true the more intimidating he looked, the lesser people would approach him and the lesser they could hear the quiver in his voice he was trying to hold back. The lesser they'd figure out the sadness in his voice. He was afraid someone would talk to him and they'd figure out just how sad he was and Draco lived by pretending all his life that he was fine, except today he wasn't being good at pretending all that much.

He made it fine through the evening, almost all of it even until exactly that one person came to him he wasn't wishing to meet with.

"Came alone?" Harru asked.

Draco didn't answer. He didn't think he should have.

"I see, you're ignoring that I exist even when I'm right next to you. You can pretend to the whole world you're fine but not me. I know something is bothering you." Harry said almost too conveniently. No, no, he was not supposed to say anything like that. He was not.

Draco took another sip of his drink, "Thought you had a more happening evening."

"I did."

"Then I wouldn't want to intrude in your evening." Draco bit.

"I came to you, Draco."

"I don't need your pity, Harry. I never needed it." Draco turned hastily to Harry to find him looking at Draco.

"I'm not offering you pity-"

"Yes, that's exactly what you're doing. You've abandoned your evening, people, everyone and everything just to come here and wash it all over my face that you pity me." Draco snapped but In a low tone to not gather attention.

"I don't get you, Draco," Harry was almost irritated, "Why would you ever think I'm offering you pity- or sympathy? I care about you that's why I came here. I want to make amends with you. I want to fix it okay. If I'm the reason you're hurt, allow me to fix it."

"I don't need to be fixed, okay. I don't need your whatever it is. I don't need your amends. What's done is done, Harry. The damage exists and it's very clear, that night changed everything and it would never change. And it's funny how you think my world revolves around you, that everything in my life is related to you, that if I'm sad it can only be because of you. You're not my everything. You can't change what happened and I certainly don't want to. But you can't fix me, I'm not yours to fix. You're not my saviour, Harry." Draco finally turned to Harry and picked his coat from the stool beside him and kept the glass back on the counter.

"And things don't get fixed over a glass of champagne." And he left.

Whatever it was, he took it away with him. He took his sadness, he took his anger at Harry, he took everything he came with and he never turned around, not even once because sometimes when somebody breaks your heart, no matter how many amends they might want to make, no matter how much they must've loved you once, no matter how much they say they want to fix it all, no matter how much they say that if they could take it all back they would, sometimes they don't get fixed. Sometimes when things break, they're broken forever and nothing can ever fix it.

Draco didn't turn around even when Harry looked at him desperately, hoping Draco would stop and give him one last look but he didn't, especially then when Harry wanted him to turn around the most, he didn't turn around.

He just walked away and never came back.

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Our love is Maroon

Word 11: Maroon

"Our love is a little more maroon and less red." Draco said.

Harry frowned as he interlocked his fingers with Draco's and kissed them gently, "What do you mean our love is a little more maroon and less red?"

Draco stared fondly at Harry fondling with his fingers and he wrapped his other hand around Harry's torso as they were laid on the slanted rooftop.

He shrugged and then stared at the clear sky which made Harry look at the sky himself.

"You know how simple some love stories are? Like my parents, they met, they fell in love, they got married and stayed married, not in any way saying they're the best but somehow they compliment each other, they are made for each other and even look at Ron and Hermione, they're perfect for each other. When you see them, when you see their love, it's red because every love has a colour. The way we love the sky is blue, the way we love the sun is orange, the way we love the ocean is grey." Draco explained.

Harry turned to face Draco and caressed his cheekbone then went onto pushing his hair off his forehead, "And?"

"These colours, they reflect something because the ocean is grey sometimes, it's scary but beautiful. The sun is orange because it can't be red, the sky is blue. Every colour has a reason, every story has a colour."

"And you think ours is Maroon?"

Draco nodded, "Because we're not red. We're not plain, we're not vibrant, we're not courageous but we're strong. We slither under the secrets of the world, we hide our relationship from the eyes of the world, we hide it from my parents, we hide it from society, we are courageous but we're brave. We're not vibrant but we're strong. We're not as bright but it's because our past runs deep within our skins and it reflects how we are. We don't have a perfect relationship, Harry but it's not like it's not worth it. We may be whatever, but we're good together, I guess."

Harry didn't understand the tears in Draco's eyes but he kissed them away and he interlocked their fingers together more firmly than he had before, "I don't know what you're getting at or where you're coming from but I know one thing, We're not red because we're not like the rest. Our story is not like the rest of their stories. We're not perfect but we're great together and we love each other and that's what matters more. We are perfect for each other and that's what's worth it. We don't have to listen to the world, we're our own, Draco. I love you and the world can't tell me otherwise."

Draco smiled at Harry then kissed his forehead, "You always make sense of my senseless things."

"It's never senseless, Draco. Nothing is ever senseless with you."

"I love you, Harry."

"I love you, too."

Draco looked at him fondly before he leaned in and kissed Harry with so much softness as if he was confessing that he had never been loved this way before, that he'll never be this raw and vulnerable with anyone, that he was never going to love anyone but him and it was true. It was their moment, it was their love and it would never go anywhere else.

They didn't fit into the world but they knew they didn't have to. They painted their picture, their own world.

They were Maroon in a world full of red and they'd rather not have it any other way.

I wrote this after midnight running on 4 hours of sleep, please don't judge me😭

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By choice, forever

Word 12: snow - fluff

"What shall I wear for tonight?" Harry asked as he bought two outfits in front and showed it to Draco.

"Harry, don't you think the person you're going on a date with should not know what he's wearing?" Draco teased.

Harry rolled his eyes out of affection, "The man I'm going on a date with has been my boyfriend for 4 years, so it doesn't matter. Besides you always say I look like a barbarian when I choose my own clothes."

Draco pouted then nodded, "You do make a point. On that note, wear that emerald shirt, and those pants. To keep it casual wear a trench coat over it."

Harry nodded and laid out of the outfit over the bed.

"What are you going to wear?" Harry asked as he entered the living room.

Draco shook his head, "It's a surprise."

Harry came behind him and kissed the top of his head, "Okay. I'm going to get some dog food by the way. Will be back soon."

Draco nodded and turned around from where he was sitting on the couch and kissed Harry, "Don't be late."

Harry eventually went outside and at that time Draco decided to start getting ready for the date. It wasn't a big deal for them to go on a date like this but Harry insisted that they haven't gone on a proper date in a long time and Christmas is the best time of the year to go on dates to. So, it was more like a Christmas date only it wasn't Christmas yet, not until a few more days.

By the time Harry came back and got ready, Draco was still getting ready so he decided to wait in the living room for him. It was precisely 15 minutes later Draco came outside wearing a red shirt with grey jeans and Harry's coat.

Harry smiled at him as Draco walked closer to him. When he was standing in front of him, Harry pulled him closer, wrapped his arms around his waist and kissed him, "You look gorgeous."

"As always." Draco shrugged cockily but in a fun way that made them laugh.

They finally set out to the date and it wasn't a big or a grand date. They both understood that they were past the phase of grand gestures or that they didn't even need expensive restaurant dates or anything just to make each other happy, it was just the presence of each other that was enough. They went to that new Thai restaurant that opened up in Piccadilly street, had good food, drank wine and finally their favourite dessert but they laughed through most of the dinner because Harry kept on making some joke and how awful they were when they first started dating. Draco accompanied those jokes and reminded of how Harry used to bring tulips for Draco on every date which was sweet but he was allergic to pollen and then he'd keep sneezing through the entire date that once Draco stupidly wondered if Harry was allergic to Draco until Harry discovered after 21 years of his life that he was allergic to pollen.

They were finally done with their dinner but none of them wanted to go back so soon so they decided to take the long route by the river to go back home. They were reminiscing about their dates the whole time, walking hand in hand, nudging each other every once in a while when it started to snow and it was only Harry who thought it'd be good to carry an umbrella but one umbrella could only save them so much.

"I should have picked the umbrella." Draco said as they were still walking arms linked.

Harry shrugged, "There's something beautiful about being under one umbrella."

Draco smiled, "Yes, it is quite romantic that you're stepping on my boots so often."

Harry rolled his eyes and walked ahead quickly leaving Draco behind laughing.

"I'm kidding, Harry." Draco laughed and Harry finally stopped and waited for Draco.

"Take offense much, do you." Draco teased as he linked their arms again.

Harry shrugged off the snow off Draco's hair and smiled back, "I was just teasing you. I don't take any offense anymore."

Draco kept smiling at Harry as he saw him remove snow from his hair and shoulder, "I love you, Harry."

Harry immediately paused for a second and frowned at him, "I love you, too babe. But why say it so suddenly?"

"I don't need reasons to tell you I love you." Draco shrugged.

Harry smiled and they started walking again watching the river alongside and talking about how beautiful it looked with the reflection of the giant Christmas tree. They somehow got around talking about the time they went to the ice skating rink as friends and knew it that night that they liked each other.

"Has it really been 4 years?" Harry asked dwelling in nostalgia.

Draco smiled and nodded, "4 years."

"We've been together a long time." Harry stated.

"We have. I loved it the whole time." Draco said.

Harry agreed, "I don't want anything else with anyone ever."

Draco looked at Harry, "I don't either. I only want you."

"I only want you, too. You're the one, Draco." Harry said.

Draco smiled and said, "You're the one for me, too."

Harry stopped right there, forcing Draco to stop as well, "What happened?"

Harry kept looking at Draco for a few moments then blurted out, "Marry me, Draco."

Draco looked at Harry for a moment then started laughing, "Are you serious right now?"

Harry nodded and he knelt to the ground, "I know I don't have a ring right now, I even know I didn't plan this,"

"Harry, Are you seriously proposing right now?"

"I knew I was going to do it someday anyways but why not now? I love you, Draco, always have, always will and I do want to spend the rest of my life with you. You're the reason I wake up every morning and go to bed every night. I thought that when I'd propose, I'd do some big gesture or whatever but that's not us, Draco. I've been with you long enough to know you're the only one and you've always been the only one and I don't need some big proposal to ask you to marry me. At least, I hope i don't but I'm never going to get another special moment like this. We're by a beautiful river, there's no one else on the street but us, it's snowing and we only have one umbrella and I'm hopelessly in love with you. So, Draco Malfoy, Will you do the honour of marrying me?" Harry proposed.

Draco was surprised but not shocked. He knew one day it would happen but if today when he woke up someone would've told him that he'll get proposed to tonight, he'd be having nervous breakdowns all day but he was here right now, with the man that he loved so much that sometimes it physically hurt, on his knees, asking him to marry him. He's never wanted anything more.

Tears slipped through his eyes and he knelt to the ground himself and said, "I'm the luckiest person alive. No kidding, no filter or anything but having you is the best thing that has ever happened to me. All my life I thought I'd never learn love, but then I met you and you made me feel a multitude of emotions that drove me crazy. You're right, we don't need a grand gesture but nothing is more perfect than this because it's with you. I love you, Harry, always have and always will, so yes, I want to marry you and grow old with you and judge you for wearing long hair in fourth grade for the rest of your life."

Harry laughed through the tears that crinkled by his eyes and he hugged Draco immediately, "I love you so much, Draco."

Draco broke apart from the hug and kissed him, "I love you, too and I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you."

"Me either."

They kept smiling at each other, their eyes having tears and their hearts that couldn't believe that it actually happened.

But then suddenly Harry said, "I know we're having a romantic moment and I love you but my knees are starting to hurt because of the gravel and it's cold so my knees are wet and so are yours."

Draco laughed and they both got up, "shall we head back home?"

Harry smiled, "We shall."

They never needed any grand gestures, they never needed to plan a perfect date, a perfect moment, a perfect night or anything because when it was them, nothing else mattered and right now the only thing that mattered was that they wanted to spend the rest of their lives with each other, by choice and forever.

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City of love

Word 13: Paris

It was not a promise. He never made any. He wasn't a man of promises but he was a man of absolute romantics. He was a hopeless romantic who fell in love in the softest, purest way possible.

It came up in a conversation a year ago when they were sat in the Cafe Blues right about during the first few weeks into dating when Harry had asked for a very simple, curios question, "If there was one place out of the whole world where by choice you could fall in love at, what place would it be?"

"Paris." Draco responded without hesitation, without a momentary lapse as if he had the answer right over his lips.

"Why?"

"It's just beautiful out there. I know it's overrated but it's just it. There's nothing more beautiful about falling in love in Paris, in the city of love and to have someone fall in love with you there. To walk by the river seine and to be in love with someone, it's wonderful. I'd do anything to have the opportunity to meet someone there and fall in love unfortunately though, I've never been to Paris, so naturally I haven't fallen in love there. It's sort of like an unfulfilled dream." Draco smiled softly after that in lost dreams.

It was in that moment Harry took a mental note and chose to remember it forever.

This year by December they were still together and they had both taken off from their works and fled off to Paris, the city of love itself.

It was on the last day of their trip when he took his moment while they were finally walking over the bridge of River Seine, Pont Des Arts with snowfall upon their heads. He stopped Draco for a moment and said,

"Do you remember what you said about Paris last year?"

Draco chuckled and shrugged, "I say a lot of things, Harry and then I forget them."

Harry smiled and shook his head, "Well, you may have forgotten but I remember it. I asked you that day what place you would choose to fall in love at and you said Paris without hesitation and then you went on about how Paris is the city of love and falling in love in Paris has its own beauty."

Draco nodded, still smiling, "I also said unfortunately that has never happened."

"Yes. I thought about it a lot over the year but we're here today. I'm trying to say I've loved you, Draco and this may not be your moment. It's not your dream we're living but we're in Paris and we're in love. We've made promises of love here and while it may not be the same, we're here tonight and we're on the bridge of Seine. You're beautiful and kind and wonderful and this amazing person that I fall in love with everyday, every single day, every moment of everyday so even tonight I'm falling in love with you. I fall for you so much that I fear there's no return but Draco, falling in love with you everyday feels like a day in Paris, the city of love because you are my city of love. You are my Paris and I've waited so long, the perfect moment to tell you but I needed you to know this."

Draco stared at Harry for a few moments that Harry was almost scared he said something wrong or that he misread the whole situation but then Draco broke into a smile and pulled his hand out of his pocket and hugged Harry, right on that bridge.

"You are it, Harry. You're all I've ever wanted, all I've ever looked for."

"What do you mean?"

Draco smiled, "It's not about falling in love in Paris, it's the person who makes it beautiful and you make loving beautiful. Yes, a year ago I wanted to experience falling in love in Paris but today I have experienced it but In a different way because I'm in love with you, I have been and it's even more beautiful than Paris. You are the one I've looked my whole life for. You are the reason falling is beautiful, you are the reason why Paris is beautiful, Harry. You are it."

Harry's eyes glimmered with small tears that he wiped away while Draco pulled him closer and rested his head against Harry's. Slowly and cautiously, Draco leaned in and kissed Harry on the lips, sweet and soft with passion. It was beautiful in itself to kiss someone you love, someone your heart races for, someone who makes love the most beautiful feeling in the world.

It was then that they realised that was it. This moment was falling in love in Paris. It was this moment where love was finally more beautiful than the city of love itself.

I don't know where I was going with this 😶

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