Can I Request A Mafia Ot8 X Reader? Where They All Kept A Secret From Her Which Made Her Feel Betrayed

can I request a mafia ot8 x reader? where they all kept a secret from her which made her feel betrayed like she wasn’t a part of the team so like she reverted back to her old self (cold, not talking to them at all, being strictly profesional) and each one of them regrets it

CAN WE GO BACK?

Pairing: Mafia! Ateez x f!reader

Genre: Angst, Mafia, Mature

W.C: 4.2k

Warnings: arguments, regret, trust issues, keeping secrets, mention of death and mafia business and deals, traumas and betrayals.

Networks: @cultofdionysusnet @k-vanity

Note: Thanks for reading and reblogging. I appreciate all of your reviews and feel free to text me if you want. Spread love to others, not hate. I swear if I write one more angst fic then I will end up crying a river. I have made this fic a little bit less angst and let me know how it is.

"Where are they?" You asked Mr. Na with balancing the snacks in your hold.

He looked at you with a frown and glanced at the papers. It was afternoon and you thought to meet your boyfriends in the office but they were not there. It's unusual for them to not be there without telling you where they are going to.

You pout and placed the snacks on the table and munched on one of your favorites. You waited for him to reply but he seemed to return back to his work. "Hey! I asked you something and you are ignoring me. You know who I am right?" You asked him in a threatening tone and he was still not fazed by you.

"I can't hear you. I'm busy." He didn't look up from his paper-works and you got mad.

You slammed your hand on the table in front of him and glared at him. He rolled his eyes with a bored look on his face.

"How will I know where  are they? And also didn't you have a mission this morning? Why are you back so early and annoying me?"

"Me annoying you. I would never." You faked a hurt look on your face and acted to have a heart attack. "I had my missions and I did well. I was really disappointed that those shitheads were not afraid of me at first but were insulting me more. So instead of letting to have them taste of my precious words, I planted some bullets in their head."

He chuckled, "as expected from you."

"But don't you really know where they are...they are not even picking up my calls." You looked down at your phone, still no missed calls or any messages.

"How will I know about it? You are their girlfriend and if they are keeping something so confidential to them, it can only meant that it's to remain within the family and as you are also part of the family so I hope they won't tell me anything about it." He said and went back to his work.

You are their family.

"But they didn't told you anything like if I return or something and where to find them?"

He glared, "no. But they were pretty much in hurry when they left the place and I thought you knew about it. So don't ask me again."

"Jaemin-" "Don't call me by my name during working hours."

You scoffed, "just now you told me that I'm their girlfriend and now you are raising your voice at me. Also, mafia business is for 24/7 so I can call you anything anytime and anywhere."

Jaemin clicked on a website and replied, " it was good when you were of cold personality and kept your distance with everyone. It's pretty much annoying that you always pick me to disturb and interrupt my works."

"Oh come on Jaemin, you love me too much. And just remember if I return back to that self, it will be only when something like in the past has hurt me again. And I really don't want to be like that again. I like being so happy and free everytime."

You were sad and your words were pronounced clearly that made him understand that he should not have said those harsh words to you. He knew how pathetic and vulnerable your past was but still his work load and you in between made him slip those words.

He patted your head, "y/n, I'm sorry. Really. I didn't mean like that. I really love to see you so bubbly. They have totally changed you and to see you happy with them is really the best thing in this building."

"You still don't trust me?"

"No no you are the lovely and the best sister I have got here and please don't mind my words like this. Please don't feel sad."

He was really trying his best to hold back his tears and make you trust him that the little suspicion he had back then when you joined the company had disappeared eventually. He always thought of you as the distraction in their life but now he sees you as a blessing. He is a best brother to you.

"Never. I can't feel sad with you atleast. You are not getting rid of me anytime soon."

A ring from Jaemin's phone interrupted your conversation with him, you both watched the name displayed on the screen 'Sir Yunho'. His eyes went wide and stared at the phone and you clutched yours in the hold.

You urged him to pick it up and put it on speaker. He received the call and you leaned forward to scan the drafts on the computer screen on which he was working.

"Has Y/n returned yet?" The voice from the other end was rough and tired.

"She-" you pressed a finger on your lips and signalled him to not tell them about your arrival. "No she hasn't returned yet, let me ask her."

"No let her be. We will be back soon from the business. If she returns then tell her we are out for lunch." He spoke in a hurry.

The call was passed to someone else. Jaemin was surprised that they just told to not tell you that they were out somewhere and even told him to lie to you. He was watching you how you were staring blankly at your phone.

"Jaemin, what happened?" Hongjoong was angry but still he was trying to contain his anger. The younger boy was distracted and soon collected himself to reply back.

"Oh just, some works are pending so I got distracted."

"okay."

The call was cut and you stood up. He was about to say something to you but you raised your hand making him shut and you turned towards the meeting room. The room which belongs to you too but now somehow it felt many secrets are hidden behind it, from you.

he watched you walking towards the room with lost eyes and tired form. He shook his head at the thought that it was not good whatever was going to happen because it's not a good decision for them to keep this sudden business hidden from you.

Where were they even? Why didn't they tell you about it?

These thoughts were storming inside your mind after you entered the room. Your fingers curled into a fist and threw the vase which was placed on top of the side shelf above which a beautiful family picture with you smiling with your boyfriends were hanging. You glared at the picture.

"Where are you all? Don't you all trust me that you had to keep this sudden business as a secret from me?"

You harshly wiped away the tears from your eyes and looked around the room. It was same as earlier when  you noticed before leaving in the morning. You slowly walked towards the leader's chair at the end of the table. 

You sat on it and held the armrest tightly. You turned it around to face the wall behind you. The letters on the wall were piercing your eyes which were designed with orange and black LED mini lights, 'ATEEZ'.

Your family.

"Don't you all trust me as your family?"

The more you were thinking about the situation, the more you felt like convincing yourself that you were just overreacting and after they come back from the place, they will tell you the truth and everything related to it but still somewhere you were impatient.

They know that keeping secrets only triggers you but still they chose to do it.

. . .

"Is she here?" Jongho's voice made Jaemin look up from the computer screen.

Jaemin stood up and greeted him and the rest who were chit chatting in the back. "Y-yeah, she just returned right now."

Jongho smiled and said, "you don't have to work on this today. We need this after two weeks so go have some free time with your friends. Don't stress yourself."

Jaemin nodded and sat down.

"Let's head to the meeting room first and she must be waiting for us in the cafeteria." Yeosang's cheerful voice made everyone laugh and there was a warm feeling in their hearts that you were waiting for them.

Jaemin's eyes followed them going to the same direction where you went earlier. Heavy boots clicked the marble floor with dark looks radiating from them but everyone had a small smile resting on their face because of the thought of you.

Seonghwa opened the heavy metal door only to be greeted by broken pieces of fiber scattered on the floors and then he noticed the vase in front of their picture was lying broken.

"Who the hell did this?" Hongjoong's angry voice brought the others attention to the situation.

"Welcome back, Ateez."

Their eyes followed the source of the voice and noticed the leader's chair facing backward to the table. They couldn't see the person sitting on it due to the high rise of the leather of the backrest but the voice was pretty much familiar, the one they crave to listen often, almost every time.

You swiveled around the chair to face them and they noticed you sitting on it with one leg over the another and staring at your phone.

San was last to enter the meeting room and when he closed the door behind him, he noticed the whole situation and the destruction on the floor.

"You look cute when you sit on this chair."

You ignored Hongjoong's compliment and he was surprised that you didn't reply him back. If it was some other time then you would have teased him or said that you always look better than him and then he would have placed you on his lap and proceed with things.

"How did your mission go?" You glared when San went to touch your cheek after asking the question. He thought you were joking so he again raised his hand only to get swatted away by you.

"Sir San, please keep your hands off from me. You should not touch me like this way."

He laughed, " are you putting up a new act again from a movie?"

"Hey let's get some food in the cafeteria." Yeosang said and smiled towards you while approaching you.

You gave both of them a stern look before staring at the man standing across from you in the far end of the table. He was watching you intently.

Hongjoong leaned forward and supported his hands on the edge of the table, "why are you speaking like this? What's with your behavior with them?"

"How does it feel to be the leader and sitting here? Very authentic, right leader?"

Leader...you don't call him this anymore because after the day they turned you into this new personality, you always call them by their name just to feel them more closer. It makes you feel a family with them.

"Why are you asking this all of a sudden?" Seonghwa behind him asked you and you fished your phone inside your pocket of the combat pants and poked the inside of your cheek.

"Why don't you all take a seat? We need to discuss something about business." 

Your words were like a business partner waiting for them to make a deal not their girlfriend who was waiting for their return.

No one budged from their place and you rolled your eyes. You stood up but stayed beside the chair and spin it around. Their eyes followed your movements.

"I thought sitting here will make me the leader but I see that's not the case here."

Wooyoung sat in the second chair at the side of the table.

"Where were you all?" You asked.

Jongho scanned the room to see all of them were busy staring at you and so he said, "we were out for lunch." He nodded in the end.

You bitterly chuckled, "from nine in the morning to this later afternoon...almost four o'clock...you all were out for so long. Just for lunch?"

"We were not out for so long." Hongjoong said confidently.

"Of course. But that's not according to my watch."

"Why the vase is broken?" You smirked at Seonghwa's question.

"Ah finally the question I wanted.well, I broke it."

"Why?"

"And if I ask you the same question Seonghwa, why?"

Mingi interjected, "what do you mean by why?"

San was still standing confused beside the chair on the other side.

"I am asking you all again and for the last time. Where were you all?" Your words were so loud and this sudden yell made some of them surprised and others were still staring at you.

Mingi was quick to reply, "as he said we were out for lunch."

"Don't lie to me. If you don't want to tell the truth then shut up." You clenched your jaw.

"What makes you think like that?" Yunho asked and folded his hands above his chest.

"Oh come on Yunho, you told Jaemin to lie to me that you were out for lunch when you were actually on a secret business. Am I right?"

He was surprised that you knew about it. Wooyoung leaned back to his chair and said, "y/n, it's not like that. That's just a simple issue."

"Then why can't anyone of you tell me where you all were."

Jongho cleared his throat and said, "it's better for you to not know about it."

"Do you think of me as a spy?"

"Y/n no we can't ever think of you like that. Even if you did something wrong then we can always talk it out with each other but we will never suspect you for anything." Jongho quickly stated.

Hongjoong's boot echoed in the room and he stood in front of you. You glared at him when he placed his hand on your shoulder.

"Don't try to manipulate me or try to convince me to trust your lies. You promised me to never hide anything from me but suddenly you all are hiding something from me."

He nodded, "I know but I want you to calm down for me. Please." You scoffed. Another presence made an appearance beside you both but you were yet to notice it but when he spoke up you became more annoyed with the same words.

You pushed away the hand from your shoulder.

"Not always everything can be said to everyone. Sometimes its better to keep some things secret."Seonghwa said and held your hands in his and caressed them a little, "it's for your safety and well being."

He seemed to be calm and contented but deep down he was deeply hurt to see you acting distant with him and not even smiling a bit when he was so near to you. He was holding your hand but he wanted to pull you in a hug.

"We just want to keep you safe, y/n." Yunho stated very slowly and he was sad.

He is always the first person to pull you in a hug and fill you with love and praises and today he would have appreciated you for your success and instead of this dark environment, the room would have filled with laughter when he would have held you up and spin you around in the room.

Mingi stood behind you and prevented you to move away and whispered words to calm you down and to take everything slowly. But you were not in a mood. He was still process the fact that you came to know about the secret business.

You pulled your hands harshly from the grip and shouted which made the person behind you to stumble backward.

"Can you all stop pretending that you all did nothing wrong? If I'm overthinking then let me be like this but you know I hate when my own family hide something from me. It make me feels like I am not trusted. It reminds me of my past."

Wooyoung hesitated to speak anything but still clenched his fist, "no love, we trust you the most. Believe me."

You ignored his words and sat on the chair beside him. Seonghwa was about to say something but Hongjoong held his hand up to make him quiet. The past traumas always triggered you whenever someone lied to you or hide something from you but still he did it.

Rest of them were aware of this situation too. Your words were feeling so distant and you being so hyper was normal for you to act this way. Atleast they should have think about this situation before. You held your head over the table and grabbed your hairs and Wooyoung stared at you with hurtful eyes.

You looked like that old y/n who was with cold heart, piercing eyes and distant space with them. Not their usual y/n with the warm heart, sweet smile and confidence.

Hongjoong was about to pass by you to go towards his chair when he halted in his steps behind you, he raised his hands to pat your head but the younger one beside you grabbed it and glared at him.

"I told you to tell her about the situation but still you were persistent with your decision. Look what you have done." Wooyoung didn't mind to raise his voice at his brother but the leader just nodded to his words and retreated his hand back.

He went to his seat and signaled others to do the same. They all were glancing at you. You were near the leader and San who was across from you was glancing between you and the leader.

He wanted to just pull you towards him and take you away somewhere else just to calm you down and make you feel loved.

When you noticed everyone was seated, you raised your head and blankly asked, "I assume you all to start speaking now. And only the truth."

"We were with your dad and Mr. Lee." Hongjoong started the conversation.

"Don't ever refer that monster as my dad. He is no one to me."

"Mr. Lee's daughter..." he paused and looked around for anyone else to continue and Yunho nodded.

Yunho smiled but quickly erased it when he saw your fuming eyes, "his daughter is engaged to Hongjoong and Seonghwa because once we had a deal in the past to save our organization and today we were there to break the dealership with him."

When the topic finally started. each one of them had a same feelings tugging at their heart. the feeling of regrets. All of them were regretting to keep you oblivion to this.

You scoffed, "engaged?" your eyes took in each of their looks precisely and continued, "so its not about only today. you all were hiding it from me for a long time now. and for how long?"

"it's not like that."

"Yunho, I asked you for how long you all were preparing for this business and when all this engagement happened?" you asked and leaned back into your chair. Mingi was impatiently tapping the top of the table with the back of the pen.

Seonghwa patted Yunho's back  when he was on the verge of tears hearing your harsh and cold tone. he gulped and started to reply but his lost eyes were staring at you and you were not even minding his presence and Mingi chimed in, "last year. your da- I mean Mr. Byun offered this deal so that we could recover from the loss we had in the last year."

Yeosang added, "we thought to not worry you about this whole ordeal and we could have solved it without including you and then pretend that we were never in this situation."

"we always wanted the best for you. please don't feel sad." Wooyound said slowly beside you and you rolled your eyes.

"So I have been lied for one whole year. you made my only chance to go in vain. why? you thought I will be a problem  in this?" you turned towards the leader "were you planning to get married? why did you have to hide this whole thing?"

Jongho was curious, "what only chance you are talking about?"

you smirked at him, "I could have showed Mr. Byun that I have a family which he never gave me. I could have showed him how powerful I am. I am not the weak one he wanted me to be. I could have proved that I am being loved and trusted as a family." You paused and scoffed, “but I think I was delusional all these times.”

Hongjoong clenched his fist on hearing your words and sighed, "Wooyoung and Yunho wanted to tell you about this but I told them and others to keep this discussion away from you. I didn't want to include you because-"

"because you dont trust me. you thought I will support Mr. Byun when you all were crashing to the ground?"

San quickly denied, "no no. we trust you so much y/n. we thought hearing his name or facing him would have hurt you."

Hongjoong nodded and continued, "it would have been more dramatic if people came to know about your relation with Mr. Byun and that you are a part of us inspite of him being our enemy."

"you see me as your enemy?"

"what? no." wooyoung shouted those words at you.

Seonghwa stated quietly, "I'm sorry. I should not have hide these things from you. you should have been told about this earlier. it's really worse for you to find it like this. but trust me we were scared. how to protect you and maintain our organization."

"you made me feel like an outsider."

"I know we did it in that way." Mingi said and looked down.

"After this I can't trust anyone of you like before. Every time now I would feel like you guys are hiding something from me. I will feel like I am somehow related to your enemy and still like before you have the suspicion of me going against you someday."

you paused and inhaled sharply, "I don't know if you guys trust me or not but I have always trusted you more than everything. I trusted you all and whatever you did was to keep me safe and away from this to not hurt me but...atleast you should have let me know about it. My trust would not have broken like this."

Yunho stood up and walked towards you, he turned around your chair and kneeled down, "please Y/n, please we won't hide anything again from you. please talk to me but don't distance yourself from us."

"you gave me no other option. they were engaged all these times, you all met Mr. Byun often and made deals behind my back without even letting me to get a hint of it. I was blinded by the trust that I never noticed you all were lying to me all these times when you were actually going out not to hangout but to meet that monster and this new girl."

You were blinded by the trust that you never noticed they were lying to you.

Wooyoung hugged you from behind, "We only love you. you are everything to me. I never wanted to lie to you but this was the only option. please forget about this and lets go back to normal."

you removed both of their hands from you and stood up. everyone was attentive to your movements. you glanced at the clock and sighed. you were tired and hungry and frustrated. All at the same time and you felt a wave of anger rising inside you.

"you are not leaving us, right?"

"Jongho if I leave right now then where is the thing called 'we can talk out our problems' but yeah that's true that you have made me feel lose my trust on you all."

you paused and then added, "Are you two still engaged with her?"

"yes." both of them quickly replied.

"get rid of her quickly or I will get rid of her from this world."

Both of them nodded.

they all gulped hearing your words and Yeosang grabbed your hand when you stepped forward for the door. you eyed his hand, waited for him to say whatever he wanted but you didn't look in his eyes. you knew if you look at him, you might start crying but you needed some time to recover from this whole situation. 

"I'm sorry."

you knew he was sorry but still you were having so many thoughts that you couldn't still place things right on the places. once your trust is broken, it can't be mended so easily and they knew this. each of them were regretting.

"do you trust me?" your words were meant for all and he nodded quickly. you rolled your eyes and licked your lips.

"the ones who trust me, please follow me to the research room, I have kept the pen drive and file there so I can show you the details of it."

"Will you not eat?" San asked you quietly.

"I am not hungry. Finish the research room process with me and then I need to...I will have some time alone."

you glared towards Hongjoong and Seonghwa and left the room, slamming the door shut behind you. They didn't say anything. after all, it was their fault and you felt betrayed with them hiding things from you for one whole year. Mingi was the next one to leave room to quickly follow you and others sighed.

They need to start to build the trust from the beginning. You wanted to hate them but your trust and love for them was too much to hate them. To forget them as your family.

You smiled towards him and pecked him.

you once said, "how can I trust you?"

he smiled and hugged you, "your enemy is my enemy. our enemy and there is nothing that can come between us to tear us apart. you are the precious and the knot of this family. if someone hurts you, we all will be hurt and get scattered."

“We will never lie to you and there will be no secret between us.”

Was that all a lie then?

Taglist: @mymoodwriting @justhere4kpop @anyamaris @yeoobin @icchyi @jwnghyuns @piratequeen-queenofgames @dinonuguaegi @oreharuuu @hwanring @sanwifesstuff @kiwiisnthereoops @kiwiraccoon @hyuukah @kazscara @aceofspadesbiofalltrades @nvdhrzn [open!]

YUNHO VILLAIN FIC WILL BE DROPPING SOON!

maybe not today but soon... I'm too much excited.

What happens after Yeosang kidnaps y/n? I just remembered that fic again.. I love it SO SO much!!

oh we are keeping y/n in the basement. I won't let her leave until she falls for him...like come on how can she ignore him and his efforts.

Thanks for loving the fic!

u don't have to answer if you don't want to but is english ur first language? /gen /nm /neu

um it's okay to ask me. well english is really not my first language and you can see it clearly visible sometimes but I'm trying to improve it. if this makes a problem to you while reading my fics then I will try to do better.

Thank You…

Pairing: Taeyong x f!reader

Genre: Idol au, slice of life, strangers

W.C: 3.7k

Warnings: none (but a bit emotional and talking to a stranger at night alone and also having self doubts)

Networks: @cultofdionysusnet @k-vanity

Guys my first ever Taeyong fic…I’m gonna cry😭

Note: please I want to thanks to people for reading and reblogging. Reviews are always appreciated . Applause to the ones who come up to me to interact and they know how friendly I am. Okay enough!

"Are you waiting for me...again?" your soft voice broke his trance and he turned towards you. His screen was on full brightness and he squinted his eyes to take a proper look of yours. He switched his phone off and nodded to your direction. You softly smiled at him and with slow steps, you walked towards the bench he was sitting on.

It's pretty usual for you to find him sitting on the bench and scrolling through his phone almost every day. Not every-day. It was not the same before three months.

One day when you were going back home from your work, you were depressed and also a bit sad and you sat on the bench to feel the cool breeze. Sometimes, spending time alone by the river and letting your thoughts out with a sigh and inhaling the peaceful aroma from the surrounding is a blessing. You often went to this place whenever you felt stressed.

But that day it was different. You found something, rather you met someone for whom you felt the urge to go there everyday and to your surprise that someone would always be there waiting for you.

Three months back. It started back then. You still remembered his glistening eyes staring at you and his broken voice. He was crying. Tears were flowing down his eyes and his hands were gripping his denim tightly. He was talking to you. His words were directed to you. He was lost. He was hated. He was broken. He was alone. Except his eyes. Nothing more was visible. He was wearing a black mask and a black cap. You didn't know why he was wearing all those for hiding his face but still who were you to ask him that.

Why were you even concern?

"Take this." You extended your hand offering your handkerchief towards him. He stared at it for too long and his gaze moved up to your face. You smiled acknowledging his attention.

It was your preferrable bench and usually you didn't find anyone before in that place and with the thought of having a company that day seemed a perfect idea. But when you got the closer look, it was not the way you thought. It was pretty much more than that.

Taking the handkerchief from your hand, he clutched it tightly in his hold. You followed his movement and heaved a sigh before putting up a little smile and turned towards him, shifting a bit closer to him but maintaining a decent distance. You suddenly didn't want to creep him out.

"You can wipe your tears or do anything with it. You can take it with you. Its not containing chloroform though so don't be scared. Its pretty new and the sweet mint smell is because of a spray bottle in my bag. I gave that to you so that other people wont notice you crying while going back home." You wanted to cheer him up and rambled everything to not make you seems like a crazy person but you were doing worse for yourself.

You gulped when noticing his lost eyes staring at you and you pressed your lips into thin line and raised your brows.

"I'm sorry..." "Thank you."

You both said at the same time. You laughed off the awkwardness and he chuckled too. Your eyes went wide and you stopped laughing.

"Did you just laugh? Did I make you smile? Wait did you said some words like in my language?" you were on it again with your questions bombarding on him.

"Which answer do you want first?" he asked you softly. His voice was broken and rough. The voice was having a glint of familiarity but you thought that many people can have same voice.

You pout and pressed your back to the seat and leaned back to look up at the sky. You took deep breathes. He was watching your every moment as if he saw a human being for the first time. His eyes trailed down from your short hairs waving to the breeze then to your exhausted face and down to you clutching your bag tightly to yourself. He noticed a particular keychain, rather a bundle of keyrings. The view of familiar objects tugged at his heart.

"Are you tired?" he asked you.

You silently nodded and remained in the same posture, just moving your head to face him, "yeah...I am but am willingly to hear you. Really. I'm serious. You can say me anything. I mean no harm."

He nodded and mimicked your posture. You smiled at him for being comfortable with you.

"Do you come here often?" he asked you again and faced you but you were already staring at the stars. His gaze was fixed on you.

"No. maybe not often but usually whenever I feel for a refreshment or like to spend time alone, I come here to think about everything and sink into my thoughts to dive back to a life with no stress." You weakly smiled and a frown appeared on your face and you faced him. You were shocked that he was already facing you but still you raised your voice, "hey, you are asking me questions and am answering them all but you didn't reply any of my earlier questions."

He laughed. It was not just a chuckle but a genuine laugh. Your heart felt light seeing him laughing as if a wave of familiarity passing you again. As if this laugh makes you happy somewhere but you cant set it in place. Where? The only way of knowing his emotions were through his eyes and voice. He had boba eyes and those were shining so much under the moonlight as if all those stars were just locked inside his watery gaze which were on you.

"I was teaching you how to ask questions to someone."

He paused and waited for your response. You sat back up and glared at him and he got up too, facing you.

"Don't tease me like that. I was just trying to make you comfortable with me so that you could feel a bit better from whatever you were hurt......but I think I made fun of myself."

He patted your head, "hey it's okay. I was just joking. Its funny though. You are sulky like Doy- my best friend."

You laughed with him.

He continued, "I can laugh because I have emotions. I can smile too but just you cant see me now. I can feel every emotion because I have a heart to feel it. Just some people are ignorant that I am a human too. They point out my mistakes. I appreciate it. They love me. I love them back. I do everything for others but in the end, they just turn their back to me for a misunderstanding. I hope I'm speaking in your language because I'm not an alien." He sadly chuckled. A tear fell from his eyes. He wiped it off with your hanky.

You stared at him. What happened? Who are these people he is talking about?

"to the last I give them everything. Even if I'm tired and feeling to give up but still I want to do everything to see others happy. Just to see them. To see us. Happy. Am I really bad?" he asked the last question softly and stared straight into your eyes.

The question felt like directly pointing towards you. As if he wanted you to answer it. He was eager to listen to you but you just gulped. You didn't know who were the people he was talking about, why he was sad and what he was even talking about. Overall, you knew he was broken and hurt.

"no one is really bad." You licked your lips before continuing, "do you think I'm perfect. No. we can't be perfect in every way. Its natural for some people to love us and some to hate us and we should always focus on the good part. Look out for the people who are still good to you and trying to know the actual reason without misunderstanding you. If you only focus on the shining part, every other thing will eventually blur out."

"that's how you keep up with your life?"

"maybe. Actually I try to keep up like that. I try every day. Sometimes its really hard to live when you don't have any good reason to be motivated and only getting hurt by some worst reality. But thanks to some people who are cheering me up every day from afar without even knowing me. They never hurt me but heal me. whenever they get hurt. I feel sad. Oh yeah wait you should follow them."

" them? Who? They are really good people then." He smiled in the end.

You hurriedly searched for your phone inside your bag, your keyrings dangling and he was gazing at the familiar things again. He was both scared and happy to see it. He was unsure about his feeling because of you.

You typed something in your phone and your face was lit up to the light from your screen. You were so focused and excited to show him some people. He was curious to know who were the people you were excited about. he was glad that you had some people to make you feel happy.

"look...they are the best.." you scooted closer towards him. You didn't mind that his fingers were almost touching your thighs. It was nothing disrespectful and you were wearing a jeans similar to him and you were all focused on your screen than minding your surroundings, "This is NCT. My favorite boy group."

Three familiar letters visible to his eyes. N.C.T. so you were talking about them. He would have told you about his members in a similar way. They are really best. He thought that inside his mind and smiled to himself. His members are really best. They are his family. But is he good enough to fit with them? This thought lingering in his mind.

"so like they have so many members. Its pretty hard to understand them when you are new but gradually you will understand them and their different units. You will definitely love them. You know life is pretty harsh to us. We are hated and get hurt by others even when we ourselves don't know what we did wrong. But still we can be happy." You held his hand. "please don't hurt yourself thinking about them. Please be happy. Think of the people who love you. Who want to see you happy?"

"do you love NCT? Do you love them?" his sudden question made you blink twice.

"yeah. I love them a lot. They are my safe place after a stressful day. You will find a different world when you are with them. You will feel as if you have a family who loves you from a distance. Their smile, their laugh, their jokes, their voice, their moves, and everything is filled with a bond of love. A love of friendship. I really don't have friends who love them but a few online friends though." You stated but still deep in thoughts when you looked at your screen and scrolled down.

"Tell me..." you looked back at him when he asked you, "tell me about this NCT. I want to know about them."

"you can search it up on google NCT which is Neo Culture Technology. Wait I'm giving you some youtube link."

He held your hand, halting your movement, "no I want to hear it from you. I want to hear your perspective. I can search their group details and all from the internet but I can never search for your point of view."

"what do you want to hear?"

"everything. From the beginning."

You nodded and again leaned back but now he was still sitting facing you. He watched how you kept your bag between you and him and sighed, "I was in high-school when I found them. They were rookies back then and literal children like me, even though some are of my age. I wasn't a person of outgoing and party lover so basically I used to spend my time alone in my room and one day I found out a video on them. I reluctantly opened it and started watching it. Out of curiosity, I dig in the video and watched all the related and recommended videos. I searched about them everywhere. I felt as if I found a new family. I noticed that I always felt happy whenever I was with them, of course through a screen. I found a family and him. He made me love myself. He taught me how to be hard-working and be good to others. 'Never give up on your dreams. You can make it happen.' He guided me when I had no one. I am too much related to them."

"who is he? Member of NCT?" he asked you and adjusted his cap.

You nodded, "yes. My favorite person."

"What's his name? tell me about him?"

You chuckled, "if you were a fan of kpop and asked me this then I would have feel weird and thought you were asking me about my bias to make him your own bias. Hey, I'm just kidding. Well his name is Lee Taeyong. He is the leader of NCT. He was the reason I got invested into this group so much. He caught my eyes first because somewhere I felt his story of struggles personally. I saw how he fights his inner battles just to prove others that he is good. Sometimes it feels like he wants to prove it to himself more. I don't know him personally but I know his life is much more difficult behind those screens. But I want him to be happy like the way he makes me smile."

Lee Taeyong. The moment his name came out of your mouth. He was shocked. Previously he was shocked already for many reasons. Your Czennie keyrings, your favorite group is NCT and then he is your bias. And you described him in such a loving way. The way he never thought of himself to see. He often heard things like this from his members who are apparently his best-friends. But he never heard anything like this from other anyone in person. The person who is his fan.

"do you think he is a good person? What if he is bad and people starts hating on him? Will you hate him too?" he asked you in an unsure tone but you smiled back to him.

"As I said earlier. No one is totally perfect. Neither you nor myself is good. But we try to improve ourselves and probably he is fighting too. He is a human too like us. He is not a toy who needs to be perfect for us to love them. Their truths and different emotions and sides made me fall in love with them. I don't care what others think about him. But I will believe him till the day I find an actual reason to hate him. I will love him. I love him a lot." You smiled brightly.

You were smiling thinking of Taeyong. But the man sitting in front of you had tears in his eyes but there was a proud and thankful smile hiding behind the mask.

"you are pretty like your soul." His hand caressed your cheeks. You got startled with the sudden touch and he noticed it and quickly apologized.

"I meant that people who know how to love others are really pretty like you. I'm sure he loves you too. He deserves fans like you. He needs fans like you." His words were dipped in hurt. He was telling as if he needs you. You softly smiled.

“Well I’m just a czennie or also you can say a NCTzen from Neocity. I’m happy in this delulu world.”

“What’s delulu?” He was confused.

“You haven’t heard the world delulu? There is a famous phrase ‘Delulu is the solulu’ means delusion is the solution. I just like to be happy in my delusions apart from this reality sometimes.”

“Don’t you want him to love you back the same way you love him? Don’t you want to feel him in your reality other than being delusional?”

You unlocked your screen and stared at the lockscreen and he noticed that it was his picture with a bright smile on his face hiding all the pain behind it and feeling loved by all the fans which was brightly glowing in your phone. In your heart.

“I love him. I really love him but…” you smiled at the picture, “but he is for his fans to love him…even if I want to keep him to myself.”

You looked up to his eyes.

Your words directly hit his heart. He felt like he needed you all these times. You were like an angel who was sent to point out the good in everything. But as you said he was not yours in the first place. There are many others like you who are loving him and being motivated by him. He is their inspiration for life.

He is for his fans to love him.

He got a call from his manager and then you both parted your ways. He fished the hanky in his pocked and walked away with waving you goodbye.

And like that everyday you would see him sitting there waiting for you and gradually you became friends in few weeks and still you don’t know his face.

“It’s not fair how you get to see me and know my face but I don’t know anything about you.”

“It’s better for you to not know my face. And also we don’t know one thing about each other so let it be like this.”

“What?”

“We don’t know each other’s names.”

“Do you want to know?”

He shook his head, “no. Let’s keep it like this…it’s better.”

This became a daily routine of yours and today it was similar to find him at the exact same spot. He always waits there at the bench when you return from your work.

“Yeah I was waiting for you but then I thought you won’t be coming today and I was sad.”

He stood up and patted your head.

You were surprised to see him being like that but still put on a smile.

“Why were you sad? Because you won’t have someone to talk to? Well I am here now…”

He nodded, “I am sad but all these days I was happy because of you. I loved talking to you. But…we won’t be meeting again…I was here to spend few months holidays in my free time from stressful worklife but I had my best days because of you.”

Oh. So he is leaving.

“You are leaving……”

“Even if I’m leaving we will keep this memory forever with us. Our life is private to each other but we have a common secret. The secret of us in these 3 months.”

He extended his hand revealing a green coloured hanky. You creased your brows and stared at it.

“Why?”

“I heard that czennies love green colour so that’s a friendship gift for you like you gave me on our first day. I have kept it with me. The red colour was cute. And this is for you.”

You took it and today you were crying. You were crying because you felt someone ripping your heart apart or like he was leaving a blank space in your puzzle.

You noticed tiny stitches in a corner of the hanky. Three letters written in black L.T.Y. And below it with a small hyphen again three letters N.C.T.

L.T.Y.

- N.C.T.

“L.T.Y. Huh?”

“Love Thank You…” he pronounced each word with a space. His voice was like usual, a bit clogged due to the mask and sometimes it’s difficult to understand his words.

“Love?”

“You are filleded with love and purity. You are a love in person.”

Oh. Silly you.

“For a second I thought it’s Lee Taeyong.”

He followed your laugh. But then he told you to look up at the sky. You did as he told you.

“ if you feel like to talk to me ever again. I’m going to listen to you through those stars. I will talk to you like that too.”

You nodded and a tear dropped from your eyes like a shooting star of losing hope to see him again.

“Will I ever get to see you again?” You asked him in a broken voice.

You have never seen his face and also don’t know anything about him but still you got attached to him too much. Can’t you keep in touch with him?

“Don’t know but it’s better not. It will be better if I just remain as a part of your memory not your reality or present.”

Not your reality or present.

You nodded again.

Like everyday he got a call again after which he leaves in hurry. It was same for today as well but today’s farewell was meant forever. Before he could turn around after saying goodbye.

You hugged him.

It was a quick hug and you quickly retreated yourself and looked down after taking few steps back. He stepped forward and patting your head, he nodded.

“I’m sorry… but I felt like to hug you and I want to say Thank you before our last goodbye. I hope you didn’t cry again. You are perfect in your own way. People love you and I know you are a person to be loved.”

You love him too. It might can sound weird but it’s okay because as a friend you love him a lot.

“It’s okay I can understand. And….thank you to you too. and please keep loving him. Taeyong needs you to love him.”

Waving your hands to each other. He ran to the opposite direction to your home. You watched his retreating figure until the far your eyes could see him because you knew beyond that you won’t be seeing him again.

Thank you…

he was thankful to meet his fan.

After that whenever you crossed that place, you glanced for once in the direction with a losing hope and found it empty. You sadly smiled at it and looked up to the stars.

“I hope you are happy living your life somewhere…”

“Thank you, czennie.”

Taglist: @mymoodwriting @justhere4kpop @anyamaris @yeoobin @icchyi @jwnghyuns @piratequeen-queenofgames @dinonuguaegi @oreharuuu @hwanring @sanwifesstuff @kiwiisnthereoops @kiwiraccoon @hyuukah @kazscara @aceofspadesbiofalltrades [open!]

Really! Thanks for loving it but it was just a plot for one shot and there won’t be a part 2🥹

for a note something like this scenario will happen in the ongoing series soon so you might can check that out.

can I request a mafia ot8 x reader? where they all kept a secret from her which made her feel betrayed like she wasn’t a part of the team so like she reverted back to her old self (cold, not talking to them at all, being strictly profesional) and each one of them regrets it

CAN WE GO BACK?

Pairing: Mafia! Ateez x f!reader

Genre: Angst, Mafia, Mature

W.C: 4.2k

Warnings: arguments, regret, trust issues, keeping secrets, mention of death and mafia business and deals, traumas and betrayals.

Networks: @cultofdionysusnet @k-vanity

Note: Thanks for reading and reblogging. I appreciate all of your reviews and feel free to text me if you want. Spread love to others, not hate. I swear if I write one more angst fic then I will end up crying a river. I have made this fic a little bit less angst and let me know how it is.

"Where are they?" You asked Mr. Na with balancing the snacks in your hold.

He looked at you with a frown and glanced at the papers. It was afternoon and you thought to meet your boyfriends in the office but they were not there. It's unusual for them to not be there without telling you where they are going to.

You pout and placed the snacks on the table and munched on one of your favorites. You waited for him to reply but he seemed to return back to his work. "Hey! I asked you something and you are ignoring me. You know who I am right?" You asked him in a threatening tone and he was still not fazed by you.

"I can't hear you. I'm busy." He didn't look up from his paper-works and you got mad.

You slammed your hand on the table in front of him and glared at him. He rolled his eyes with a bored look on his face.

"How will I know where  are they? And also didn't you have a mission this morning? Why are you back so early and annoying me?"

"Me annoying you. I would never." You faked a hurt look on your face and acted to have a heart attack. "I had my missions and I did well. I was really disappointed that those shitheads were not afraid of me at first but were insulting me more. So instead of letting to have them taste of my precious words, I planted some bullets in their head."

He chuckled, "as expected from you."

"But don't you really know where they are...they are not even picking up my calls." You looked down at your phone, still no missed calls or any messages.

"How will I know about it? You are their girlfriend and if they are keeping something so confidential to them, it can only meant that it's to remain within the family and as you are also part of the family so I hope they won't tell me anything about it." He said and went back to his work.

You are their family.

"But they didn't told you anything like if I return or something and where to find them?"

He glared, "no. But they were pretty much in hurry when they left the place and I thought you knew about it. So don't ask me again."

"Jaemin-" "Don't call me by my name during working hours."

You scoffed, "just now you told me that I'm their girlfriend and now you are raising your voice at me. Also, mafia business is for 24/7 so I can call you anything anytime and anywhere."

Jaemin clicked on a website and replied, " it was good when you were of cold personality and kept your distance with everyone. It's pretty much annoying that you always pick me to disturb and interrupt my works."

"Oh come on Jaemin, you love me too much. And just remember if I return back to that self, it will be only when something like in the past has hurt me again. And I really don't want to be like that again. I like being so happy and free everytime."

You were sad and your words were pronounced clearly that made him understand that he should not have said those harsh words to you. He knew how pathetic and vulnerable your past was but still his work load and you in between made him slip those words.

He patted your head, "y/n, I'm sorry. Really. I didn't mean like that. I really love to see you so bubbly. They have totally changed you and to see you happy with them is really the best thing in this building."

"You still don't trust me?"

"No no you are the lovely and the best sister I have got here and please don't mind my words like this. Please don't feel sad."

He was really trying his best to hold back his tears and make you trust him that the little suspicion he had back then when you joined the company had disappeared eventually. He always thought of you as the distraction in their life but now he sees you as a blessing. He is a best brother to you.

"Never. I can't feel sad with you atleast. You are not getting rid of me anytime soon."

A ring from Jaemin's phone interrupted your conversation with him, you both watched the name displayed on the screen 'Sir Yunho'. His eyes went wide and stared at the phone and you clutched yours in the hold.

You urged him to pick it up and put it on speaker. He received the call and you leaned forward to scan the drafts on the computer screen on which he was working.

"Has Y/n returned yet?" The voice from the other end was rough and tired.

"She-" you pressed a finger on your lips and signalled him to not tell them about your arrival. "No she hasn't returned yet, let me ask her."

"No let her be. We will be back soon from the business. If she returns then tell her we are out for lunch." He spoke in a hurry.

The call was passed to someone else. Jaemin was surprised that they just told to not tell you that they were out somewhere and even told him to lie to you. He was watching you how you were staring blankly at your phone.

"Jaemin, what happened?" Hongjoong was angry but still he was trying to contain his anger. The younger boy was distracted and soon collected himself to reply back.

"Oh just, some works are pending so I got distracted."

"okay."

The call was cut and you stood up. He was about to say something to you but you raised your hand making him shut and you turned towards the meeting room. The room which belongs to you too but now somehow it felt many secrets are hidden behind it, from you.

he watched you walking towards the room with lost eyes and tired form. He shook his head at the thought that it was not good whatever was going to happen because it's not a good decision for them to keep this sudden business hidden from you.

Where were they even? Why didn't they tell you about it?

These thoughts were storming inside your mind after you entered the room. Your fingers curled into a fist and threw the vase which was placed on top of the side shelf above which a beautiful family picture with you smiling with your boyfriends were hanging. You glared at the picture.

"Where are you all? Don't you all trust me that you had to keep this sudden business as a secret from me?"

You harshly wiped away the tears from your eyes and looked around the room. It was same as earlier when  you noticed before leaving in the morning. You slowly walked towards the leader's chair at the end of the table. 

You sat on it and held the armrest tightly. You turned it around to face the wall behind you. The letters on the wall were piercing your eyes which were designed with orange and black LED mini lights, 'ATEEZ'.

Your family.

"Don't you all trust me as your family?"

The more you were thinking about the situation, the more you felt like convincing yourself that you were just overreacting and after they come back from the place, they will tell you the truth and everything related to it but still somewhere you were impatient.

They know that keeping secrets only triggers you but still they chose to do it.

. . .

"Is she here?" Jongho's voice made Jaemin look up from the computer screen.

Jaemin stood up and greeted him and the rest who were chit chatting in the back. "Y-yeah, she just returned right now."

Jongho smiled and said, "you don't have to work on this today. We need this after two weeks so go have some free time with your friends. Don't stress yourself."

Jaemin nodded and sat down.

"Let's head to the meeting room first and she must be waiting for us in the cafeteria." Yeosang's cheerful voice made everyone laugh and there was a warm feeling in their hearts that you were waiting for them.

Jaemin's eyes followed them going to the same direction where you went earlier. Heavy boots clicked the marble floor with dark looks radiating from them but everyone had a small smile resting on their face because of the thought of you.

Seonghwa opened the heavy metal door only to be greeted by broken pieces of fiber scattered on the floors and then he noticed the vase in front of their picture was lying broken.

"Who the hell did this?" Hongjoong's angry voice brought the others attention to the situation.

"Welcome back, Ateez."

Their eyes followed the source of the voice and noticed the leader's chair facing backward to the table. They couldn't see the person sitting on it due to the high rise of the leather of the backrest but the voice was pretty much familiar, the one they crave to listen often, almost every time.

You swiveled around the chair to face them and they noticed you sitting on it with one leg over the another and staring at your phone.

San was last to enter the meeting room and when he closed the door behind him, he noticed the whole situation and the destruction on the floor.

"You look cute when you sit on this chair."

You ignored Hongjoong's compliment and he was surprised that you didn't reply him back. If it was some other time then you would have teased him or said that you always look better than him and then he would have placed you on his lap and proceed with things.

"How did your mission go?" You glared when San went to touch your cheek after asking the question. He thought you were joking so he again raised his hand only to get swatted away by you.

"Sir San, please keep your hands off from me. You should not touch me like this way."

He laughed, " are you putting up a new act again from a movie?"

"Hey let's get some food in the cafeteria." Yeosang said and smiled towards you while approaching you.

You gave both of them a stern look before staring at the man standing across from you in the far end of the table. He was watching you intently.

Hongjoong leaned forward and supported his hands on the edge of the table, "why are you speaking like this? What's with your behavior with them?"

"How does it feel to be the leader and sitting here? Very authentic, right leader?"

Leader...you don't call him this anymore because after the day they turned you into this new personality, you always call them by their name just to feel them more closer. It makes you feel a family with them.

"Why are you asking this all of a sudden?" Seonghwa behind him asked you and you fished your phone inside your pocket of the combat pants and poked the inside of your cheek.

"Why don't you all take a seat? We need to discuss something about business." 

Your words were like a business partner waiting for them to make a deal not their girlfriend who was waiting for their return.

No one budged from their place and you rolled your eyes. You stood up but stayed beside the chair and spin it around. Their eyes followed your movements.

"I thought sitting here will make me the leader but I see that's not the case here."

Wooyoung sat in the second chair at the side of the table.

"Where were you all?" You asked.

Jongho scanned the room to see all of them were busy staring at you and so he said, "we were out for lunch." He nodded in the end.

You bitterly chuckled, "from nine in the morning to this later afternoon...almost four o'clock...you all were out for so long. Just for lunch?"

"We were not out for so long." Hongjoong said confidently.

"Of course. But that's not according to my watch."

"Why the vase is broken?" You smirked at Seonghwa's question.

"Ah finally the question I wanted.well, I broke it."

"Why?"

"And if I ask you the same question Seonghwa, why?"

Mingi interjected, "what do you mean by why?"

San was still standing confused beside the chair on the other side.

"I am asking you all again and for the last time. Where were you all?" Your words were so loud and this sudden yell made some of them surprised and others were still staring at you.

Mingi was quick to reply, "as he said we were out for lunch."

"Don't lie to me. If you don't want to tell the truth then shut up." You clenched your jaw.

"What makes you think like that?" Yunho asked and folded his hands above his chest.

"Oh come on Yunho, you told Jaemin to lie to me that you were out for lunch when you were actually on a secret business. Am I right?"

He was surprised that you knew about it. Wooyoung leaned back to his chair and said, "y/n, it's not like that. That's just a simple issue."

"Then why can't anyone of you tell me where you all were."

Jongho cleared his throat and said, "it's better for you to not know about it."

"Do you think of me as a spy?"

"Y/n no we can't ever think of you like that. Even if you did something wrong then we can always talk it out with each other but we will never suspect you for anything." Jongho quickly stated.

Hongjoong's boot echoed in the room and he stood in front of you. You glared at him when he placed his hand on your shoulder.

"Don't try to manipulate me or try to convince me to trust your lies. You promised me to never hide anything from me but suddenly you all are hiding something from me."

He nodded, "I know but I want you to calm down for me. Please." You scoffed. Another presence made an appearance beside you both but you were yet to notice it but when he spoke up you became more annoyed with the same words.

You pushed away the hand from your shoulder.

"Not always everything can be said to everyone. Sometimes its better to keep some things secret."Seonghwa said and held your hands in his and caressed them a little, "it's for your safety and well being."

He seemed to be calm and contented but deep down he was deeply hurt to see you acting distant with him and not even smiling a bit when he was so near to you. He was holding your hand but he wanted to pull you in a hug.

"We just want to keep you safe, y/n." Yunho stated very slowly and he was sad.

He is always the first person to pull you in a hug and fill you with love and praises and today he would have appreciated you for your success and instead of this dark environment, the room would have filled with laughter when he would have held you up and spin you around in the room.

Mingi stood behind you and prevented you to move away and whispered words to calm you down and to take everything slowly. But you were not in a mood. He was still process the fact that you came to know about the secret business.

You pulled your hands harshly from the grip and shouted which made the person behind you to stumble backward.

"Can you all stop pretending that you all did nothing wrong? If I'm overthinking then let me be like this but you know I hate when my own family hide something from me. It make me feels like I am not trusted. It reminds me of my past."

Wooyoung hesitated to speak anything but still clenched his fist, "no love, we trust you the most. Believe me."

You ignored his words and sat on the chair beside him. Seonghwa was about to say something but Hongjoong held his hand up to make him quiet. The past traumas always triggered you whenever someone lied to you or hide something from you but still he did it.

Rest of them were aware of this situation too. Your words were feeling so distant and you being so hyper was normal for you to act this way. Atleast they should have think about this situation before. You held your head over the table and grabbed your hairs and Wooyoung stared at you with hurtful eyes.

You looked like that old y/n who was with cold heart, piercing eyes and distant space with them. Not their usual y/n with the warm heart, sweet smile and confidence.

Hongjoong was about to pass by you to go towards his chair when he halted in his steps behind you, he raised his hands to pat your head but the younger one beside you grabbed it and glared at him.

"I told you to tell her about the situation but still you were persistent with your decision. Look what you have done." Wooyoung didn't mind to raise his voice at his brother but the leader just nodded to his words and retreated his hand back.

He went to his seat and signaled others to do the same. They all were glancing at you. You were near the leader and San who was across from you was glancing between you and the leader.

He wanted to just pull you towards him and take you away somewhere else just to calm you down and make you feel loved.

When you noticed everyone was seated, you raised your head and blankly asked, "I assume you all to start speaking now. And only the truth."

"We were with your dad and Mr. Lee." Hongjoong started the conversation.

"Don't ever refer that monster as my dad. He is no one to me."

"Mr. Lee's daughter..." he paused and looked around for anyone else to continue and Yunho nodded.

Yunho smiled but quickly erased it when he saw your fuming eyes, "his daughter is engaged to Hongjoong and Seonghwa because once we had a deal in the past to save our organization and today we were there to break the dealership with him."

When the topic finally started. each one of them had a same feelings tugging at their heart. the feeling of regrets. All of them were regretting to keep you oblivion to this.

You scoffed, "engaged?" your eyes took in each of their looks precisely and continued, "so its not about only today. you all were hiding it from me for a long time now. and for how long?"

"it's not like that."

"Yunho, I asked you for how long you all were preparing for this business and when all this engagement happened?" you asked and leaned back into your chair. Mingi was impatiently tapping the top of the table with the back of the pen.

Seonghwa patted Yunho's back  when he was on the verge of tears hearing your harsh and cold tone. he gulped and started to reply but his lost eyes were staring at you and you were not even minding his presence and Mingi chimed in, "last year. your da- I mean Mr. Byun offered this deal so that we could recover from the loss we had in the last year."

Yeosang added, "we thought to not worry you about this whole ordeal and we could have solved it without including you and then pretend that we were never in this situation."

"we always wanted the best for you. please don't feel sad." Wooyound said slowly beside you and you rolled your eyes.

"So I have been lied for one whole year. you made my only chance to go in vain. why? you thought I will be a problem  in this?" you turned towards the leader "were you planning to get married? why did you have to hide this whole thing?"

Jongho was curious, "what only chance you are talking about?"

you smirked at him, "I could have showed Mr. Byun that I have a family which he never gave me. I could have showed him how powerful I am. I am not the weak one he wanted me to be. I could have proved that I am being loved and trusted as a family." You paused and scoffed, “but I think I was delusional all these times.”

Hongjoong clenched his fist on hearing your words and sighed, "Wooyoung and Yunho wanted to tell you about this but I told them and others to keep this discussion away from you. I didn't want to include you because-"

"because you dont trust me. you thought I will support Mr. Byun when you all were crashing to the ground?"

San quickly denied, "no no. we trust you so much y/n. we thought hearing his name or facing him would have hurt you."

Hongjoong nodded and continued, "it would have been more dramatic if people came to know about your relation with Mr. Byun and that you are a part of us inspite of him being our enemy."

"you see me as your enemy?"

"what? no." wooyoung shouted those words at you.

Seonghwa stated quietly, "I'm sorry. I should not have hide these things from you. you should have been told about this earlier. it's really worse for you to find it like this. but trust me we were scared. how to protect you and maintain our organization."

"you made me feel like an outsider."

"I know we did it in that way." Mingi said and looked down.

"After this I can't trust anyone of you like before. Every time now I would feel like you guys are hiding something from me. I will feel like I am somehow related to your enemy and still like before you have the suspicion of me going against you someday."

you paused and inhaled sharply, "I don't know if you guys trust me or not but I have always trusted you more than everything. I trusted you all and whatever you did was to keep me safe and away from this to not hurt me but...atleast you should have let me know about it. My trust would not have broken like this."

Yunho stood up and walked towards you, he turned around your chair and kneeled down, "please Y/n, please we won't hide anything again from you. please talk to me but don't distance yourself from us."

"you gave me no other option. they were engaged all these times, you all met Mr. Byun often and made deals behind my back without even letting me to get a hint of it. I was blinded by the trust that I never noticed you all were lying to me all these times when you were actually going out not to hangout but to meet that monster and this new girl."

You were blinded by the trust that you never noticed they were lying to you.

Wooyoung hugged you from behind, "We only love you. you are everything to me. I never wanted to lie to you but this was the only option. please forget about this and lets go back to normal."

you removed both of their hands from you and stood up. everyone was attentive to your movements. you glanced at the clock and sighed. you were tired and hungry and frustrated. All at the same time and you felt a wave of anger rising inside you.

"you are not leaving us, right?"

"Jongho if I leave right now then where is the thing called 'we can talk out our problems' but yeah that's true that you have made me feel lose my trust on you all."

you paused and then added, "Are you two still engaged with her?"

"yes." both of them quickly replied.

"get rid of her quickly or I will get rid of her from this world."

Both of them nodded.

they all gulped hearing your words and Yeosang grabbed your hand when you stepped forward for the door. you eyed his hand, waited for him to say whatever he wanted but you didn't look in his eyes. you knew if you look at him, you might start crying but you needed some time to recover from this whole situation. 

"I'm sorry."

you knew he was sorry but still you were having so many thoughts that you couldn't still place things right on the places. once your trust is broken, it can't be mended so easily and they knew this. each of them were regretting.

"do you trust me?" your words were meant for all and he nodded quickly. you rolled your eyes and licked your lips.

"the ones who trust me, please follow me to the research room, I have kept the pen drive and file there so I can show you the details of it."

"Will you not eat?" San asked you quietly.

"I am not hungry. Finish the research room process with me and then I need to...I will have some time alone."

you glared towards Hongjoong and Seonghwa and left the room, slamming the door shut behind you. They didn't say anything. after all, it was their fault and you felt betrayed with them hiding things from you for one whole year. Mingi was the next one to leave room to quickly follow you and others sighed.

They need to start to build the trust from the beginning. You wanted to hate them but your trust and love for them was too much to hate them. To forget them as your family.

You smiled towards him and pecked him.

you once said, "how can I trust you?"

he smiled and hugged you, "your enemy is my enemy. our enemy and there is nothing that can come between us to tear us apart. you are the precious and the knot of this family. if someone hurts you, we all will be hurt and get scattered."

“We will never lie to you and there will be no secret between us.”

Was that all a lie then?

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