Taeyong Fluff - Tumblr Posts

[11:24pm] your relationship. ruined. broken into pieces. all because you couldn’t shut your selfish little mouth. you admit, you are selfish. you have been for too long and you aren’t blind to it. you just don’t know how to fix yourself. taeyong couldn’t even look you in the eye anymore. you couldn’t. you understood and for your selfish behavior, you thought you deserved it. after all, you didn’t know how to shut your mouth. you spilled all of the secrets you knew about taeyong, and shared it to someone he didn’t want knowing. you betrayed him. and yet you called yourself still in the situation, when you were told you weren’t. you were best friends with both of them, hell you were even dating one of them. now, you’re nothing to both of them. you deserved it, didn’t you?

Thank You…

Pairing: Taeyong x f!reader

Genre: Idol au, slice of life, strangers

W.C: 3.7k

Warnings: none (but a bit emotional and talking to a stranger at night alone and also having self doubts)

Networks: @cultofdionysusnet @k-vanity

Guys my first ever Taeyong fic…I’m gonna cry😭

Note: please I want to thanks to people for reading and reblogging. Reviews are always appreciated . Applause to the ones who come up to me to interact and they know how friendly I am. Okay enough!

"Are you waiting for me...again?" your soft voice broke his trance and he turned towards you. His screen was on full brightness and he squinted his eyes to take a proper look of yours. He switched his phone off and nodded to your direction. You softly smiled at him and with slow steps, you walked towards the bench he was sitting on.

It's pretty usual for you to find him sitting on the bench and scrolling through his phone almost every day. Not every-day. It was not the same before three months.

One day when you were going back home from your work, you were depressed and also a bit sad and you sat on the bench to feel the cool breeze. Sometimes, spending time alone by the river and letting your thoughts out with a sigh and inhaling the peaceful aroma from the surrounding is a blessing. You often went to this place whenever you felt stressed.

But that day it was different. You found something, rather you met someone for whom you felt the urge to go there everyday and to your surprise that someone would always be there waiting for you.

Three months back. It started back then. You still remembered his glistening eyes staring at you and his broken voice. He was crying. Tears were flowing down his eyes and his hands were gripping his denim tightly. He was talking to you. His words were directed to you. He was lost. He was hated. He was broken. He was alone. Except his eyes. Nothing more was visible. He was wearing a black mask and a black cap. You didn't know why he was wearing all those for hiding his face but still who were you to ask him that.

Why were you even concern?

"Take this." You extended your hand offering your handkerchief towards him. He stared at it for too long and his gaze moved up to your face. You smiled acknowledging his attention.

It was your preferrable bench and usually you didn't find anyone before in that place and with the thought of having a company that day seemed a perfect idea. But when you got the closer look, it was not the way you thought. It was pretty much more than that.

Taking the handkerchief from your hand, he clutched it tightly in his hold. You followed his movement and heaved a sigh before putting up a little smile and turned towards him, shifting a bit closer to him but maintaining a decent distance. You suddenly didn't want to creep him out.

"You can wipe your tears or do anything with it. You can take it with you. Its not containing chloroform though so don't be scared. Its pretty new and the sweet mint smell is because of a spray bottle in my bag. I gave that to you so that other people wont notice you crying while going back home." You wanted to cheer him up and rambled everything to not make you seems like a crazy person but you were doing worse for yourself.

You gulped when noticing his lost eyes staring at you and you pressed your lips into thin line and raised your brows.

"I'm sorry..." "Thank you."

You both said at the same time. You laughed off the awkwardness and he chuckled too. Your eyes went wide and you stopped laughing.

"Did you just laugh? Did I make you smile? Wait did you said some words like in my language?" you were on it again with your questions bombarding on him.

"Which answer do you want first?" he asked you softly. His voice was broken and rough. The voice was having a glint of familiarity but you thought that many people can have same voice.

You pout and pressed your back to the seat and leaned back to look up at the sky. You took deep breathes. He was watching your every moment as if he saw a human being for the first time. His eyes trailed down from your short hairs waving to the breeze then to your exhausted face and down to you clutching your bag tightly to yourself. He noticed a particular keychain, rather a bundle of keyrings. The view of familiar objects tugged at his heart.

"Are you tired?" he asked you.

You silently nodded and remained in the same posture, just moving your head to face him, "yeah...I am but am willingly to hear you. Really. I'm serious. You can say me anything. I mean no harm."

He nodded and mimicked your posture. You smiled at him for being comfortable with you.

"Do you come here often?" he asked you again and faced you but you were already staring at the stars. His gaze was fixed on you.

"No. maybe not often but usually whenever I feel for a refreshment or like to spend time alone, I come here to think about everything and sink into my thoughts to dive back to a life with no stress." You weakly smiled and a frown appeared on your face and you faced him. You were shocked that he was already facing you but still you raised your voice, "hey, you are asking me questions and am answering them all but you didn't reply any of my earlier questions."

He laughed. It was not just a chuckle but a genuine laugh. Your heart felt light seeing him laughing as if a wave of familiarity passing you again. As if this laugh makes you happy somewhere but you cant set it in place. Where? The only way of knowing his emotions were through his eyes and voice. He had boba eyes and those were shining so much under the moonlight as if all those stars were just locked inside his watery gaze which were on you.

"I was teaching you how to ask questions to someone."

He paused and waited for your response. You sat back up and glared at him and he got up too, facing you.

"Don't tease me like that. I was just trying to make you comfortable with me so that you could feel a bit better from whatever you were hurt......but I think I made fun of myself."

He patted your head, "hey it's okay. I was just joking. Its funny though. You are sulky like Doy- my best friend."

You laughed with him.

He continued, "I can laugh because I have emotions. I can smile too but just you cant see me now. I can feel every emotion because I have a heart to feel it. Just some people are ignorant that I am a human too. They point out my mistakes. I appreciate it. They love me. I love them back. I do everything for others but in the end, they just turn their back to me for a misunderstanding. I hope I'm speaking in your language because I'm not an alien." He sadly chuckled. A tear fell from his eyes. He wiped it off with your hanky.

You stared at him. What happened? Who are these people he is talking about?

"to the last I give them everything. Even if I'm tired and feeling to give up but still I want to do everything to see others happy. Just to see them. To see us. Happy. Am I really bad?" he asked the last question softly and stared straight into your eyes.

The question felt like directly pointing towards you. As if he wanted you to answer it. He was eager to listen to you but you just gulped. You didn't know who were the people he was talking about, why he was sad and what he was even talking about. Overall, you knew he was broken and hurt.

"no one is really bad." You licked your lips before continuing, "do you think I'm perfect. No. we can't be perfect in every way. Its natural for some people to love us and some to hate us and we should always focus on the good part. Look out for the people who are still good to you and trying to know the actual reason without misunderstanding you. If you only focus on the shining part, every other thing will eventually blur out."

"that's how you keep up with your life?"

"maybe. Actually I try to keep up like that. I try every day. Sometimes its really hard to live when you don't have any good reason to be motivated and only getting hurt by some worst reality. But thanks to some people who are cheering me up every day from afar without even knowing me. They never hurt me but heal me. whenever they get hurt. I feel sad. Oh yeah wait you should follow them."

" them? Who? They are really good people then." He smiled in the end.

You hurriedly searched for your phone inside your bag, your keyrings dangling and he was gazing at the familiar things again. He was both scared and happy to see it. He was unsure about his feeling because of you.

You typed something in your phone and your face was lit up to the light from your screen. You were so focused and excited to show him some people. He was curious to know who were the people you were excited about. he was glad that you had some people to make you feel happy.

"look...they are the best.." you scooted closer towards him. You didn't mind that his fingers were almost touching your thighs. It was nothing disrespectful and you were wearing a jeans similar to him and you were all focused on your screen than minding your surroundings, "This is NCT. My favorite boy group."

Three familiar letters visible to his eyes. N.C.T. so you were talking about them. He would have told you about his members in a similar way. They are really best. He thought that inside his mind and smiled to himself. His members are really best. They are his family. But is he good enough to fit with them? This thought lingering in his mind.

"so like they have so many members. Its pretty hard to understand them when you are new but gradually you will understand them and their different units. You will definitely love them. You know life is pretty harsh to us. We are hated and get hurt by others even when we ourselves don't know what we did wrong. But still we can be happy." You held his hand. "please don't hurt yourself thinking about them. Please be happy. Think of the people who love you. Who want to see you happy?"

"do you love NCT? Do you love them?" his sudden question made you blink twice.

"yeah. I love them a lot. They are my safe place after a stressful day. You will find a different world when you are with them. You will feel as if you have a family who loves you from a distance. Their smile, their laugh, their jokes, their voice, their moves, and everything is filled with a bond of love. A love of friendship. I really don't have friends who love them but a few online friends though." You stated but still deep in thoughts when you looked at your screen and scrolled down.

"Tell me..." you looked back at him when he asked you, "tell me about this NCT. I want to know about them."

"you can search it up on google NCT which is Neo Culture Technology. Wait I'm giving you some youtube link."

He held your hand, halting your movement, "no I want to hear it from you. I want to hear your perspective. I can search their group details and all from the internet but I can never search for your point of view."

"what do you want to hear?"

"everything. From the beginning."

You nodded and again leaned back but now he was still sitting facing you. He watched how you kept your bag between you and him and sighed, "I was in high-school when I found them. They were rookies back then and literal children like me, even though some are of my age. I wasn't a person of outgoing and party lover so basically I used to spend my time alone in my room and one day I found out a video on them. I reluctantly opened it and started watching it. Out of curiosity, I dig in the video and watched all the related and recommended videos. I searched about them everywhere. I felt as if I found a new family. I noticed that I always felt happy whenever I was with them, of course through a screen. I found a family and him. He made me love myself. He taught me how to be hard-working and be good to others. 'Never give up on your dreams. You can make it happen.' He guided me when I had no one. I am too much related to them."

"who is he? Member of NCT?" he asked you and adjusted his cap.

You nodded, "yes. My favorite person."

"What's his name? tell me about him?"

You chuckled, "if you were a fan of kpop and asked me this then I would have feel weird and thought you were asking me about my bias to make him your own bias. Hey, I'm just kidding. Well his name is Lee Taeyong. He is the leader of NCT. He was the reason I got invested into this group so much. He caught my eyes first because somewhere I felt his story of struggles personally. I saw how he fights his inner battles just to prove others that he is good. Sometimes it feels like he wants to prove it to himself more. I don't know him personally but I know his life is much more difficult behind those screens. But I want him to be happy like the way he makes me smile."

Lee Taeyong. The moment his name came out of your mouth. He was shocked. Previously he was shocked already for many reasons. Your Czennie keyrings, your favorite group is NCT and then he is your bias. And you described him in such a loving way. The way he never thought of himself to see. He often heard things like this from his members who are apparently his best-friends. But he never heard anything like this from other anyone in person. The person who is his fan.

"do you think he is a good person? What if he is bad and people starts hating on him? Will you hate him too?" he asked you in an unsure tone but you smiled back to him.

"As I said earlier. No one is totally perfect. Neither you nor myself is good. But we try to improve ourselves and probably he is fighting too. He is a human too like us. He is not a toy who needs to be perfect for us to love them. Their truths and different emotions and sides made me fall in love with them. I don't care what others think about him. But I will believe him till the day I find an actual reason to hate him. I will love him. I love him a lot." You smiled brightly.

You were smiling thinking of Taeyong. But the man sitting in front of you had tears in his eyes but there was a proud and thankful smile hiding behind the mask.

"you are pretty like your soul." His hand caressed your cheeks. You got startled with the sudden touch and he noticed it and quickly apologized.

"I meant that people who know how to love others are really pretty like you. I'm sure he loves you too. He deserves fans like you. He needs fans like you." His words were dipped in hurt. He was telling as if he needs you. You softly smiled.

“Well I’m just a czennie or also you can say a NCTzen from Neocity. I’m happy in this delulu world.”

“What’s delulu?” He was confused.

“You haven’t heard the world delulu? There is a famous phrase ‘Delulu is the solulu’ means delusion is the solution. I just like to be happy in my delusions apart from this reality sometimes.”

“Don’t you want him to love you back the same way you love him? Don’t you want to feel him in your reality other than being delusional?”

You unlocked your screen and stared at the lockscreen and he noticed that it was his picture with a bright smile on his face hiding all the pain behind it and feeling loved by all the fans which was brightly glowing in your phone. In your heart.

“I love him. I really love him but…” you smiled at the picture, “but he is for his fans to love him…even if I want to keep him to myself.”

You looked up to his eyes.

Your words directly hit his heart. He felt like he needed you all these times. You were like an angel who was sent to point out the good in everything. But as you said he was not yours in the first place. There are many others like you who are loving him and being motivated by him. He is their inspiration for life.

He is for his fans to love him.

He got a call from his manager and then you both parted your ways. He fished the hanky in his pocked and walked away with waving you goodbye.

And like that everyday you would see him sitting there waiting for you and gradually you became friends in few weeks and still you don’t know his face.

“It’s not fair how you get to see me and know my face but I don’t know anything about you.”

“It’s better for you to not know my face. And also we don’t know one thing about each other so let it be like this.”

“What?”

“We don’t know each other’s names.”

“Do you want to know?”

He shook his head, “no. Let’s keep it like this…it’s better.”

This became a daily routine of yours and today it was similar to find him at the exact same spot. He always waits there at the bench when you return from your work.

“Yeah I was waiting for you but then I thought you won’t be coming today and I was sad.”

He stood up and patted your head.

You were surprised to see him being like that but still put on a smile.

“Why were you sad? Because you won’t have someone to talk to? Well I am here now…”

He nodded, “I am sad but all these days I was happy because of you. I loved talking to you. But…we won’t be meeting again…I was here to spend few months holidays in my free time from stressful worklife but I had my best days because of you.”

Oh. So he is leaving.

“You are leaving……”

“Even if I’m leaving we will keep this memory forever with us. Our life is private to each other but we have a common secret. The secret of us in these 3 months.”

He extended his hand revealing a green coloured hanky. You creased your brows and stared at it.

“Why?”

“I heard that czennies love green colour so that’s a friendship gift for you like you gave me on our first day. I have kept it with me. The red colour was cute. And this is for you.”

You took it and today you were crying. You were crying because you felt someone ripping your heart apart or like he was leaving a blank space in your puzzle.

You noticed tiny stitches in a corner of the hanky. Three letters written in black L.T.Y. And below it with a small hyphen again three letters N.C.T.

L.T.Y.

- N.C.T.

“L.T.Y. Huh?”

“Love Thank You…” he pronounced each word with a space. His voice was like usual, a bit clogged due to the mask and sometimes it’s difficult to understand his words.

“Love?”

“You are filleded with love and purity. You are a love in person.”

Oh. Silly you.

“For a second I thought it’s Lee Taeyong.”

He followed your laugh. But then he told you to look up at the sky. You did as he told you.

“ if you feel like to talk to me ever again. I’m going to listen to you through those stars. I will talk to you like that too.”

You nodded and a tear dropped from your eyes like a shooting star of losing hope to see him again.

“Will I ever get to see you again?” You asked him in a broken voice.

You have never seen his face and also don’t know anything about him but still you got attached to him too much. Can’t you keep in touch with him?

“Don’t know but it’s better not. It will be better if I just remain as a part of your memory not your reality or present.”

Not your reality or present.

You nodded again.

Like everyday he got a call again after which he leaves in hurry. It was same for today as well but today’s farewell was meant forever. Before he could turn around after saying goodbye.

You hugged him.

It was a quick hug and you quickly retreated yourself and looked down after taking few steps back. He stepped forward and patting your head, he nodded.

“I’m sorry… but I felt like to hug you and I want to say Thank you before our last goodbye. I hope you didn’t cry again. You are perfect in your own way. People love you and I know you are a person to be loved.”

You love him too. It might can sound weird but it’s okay because as a friend you love him a lot.

“It’s okay I can understand. And….thank you to you too. and please keep loving him. Taeyong needs you to love him.”

Waving your hands to each other. He ran to the opposite direction to your home. You watched his retreating figure until the far your eyes could see him because you knew beyond that you won’t be seeing him again.

Thank you…

he was thankful to meet his fan.

After that whenever you crossed that place, you glanced for once in the direction with a losing hope and found it empty. You sadly smiled at it and looked up to the stars.

“I hope you are happy living your life somewhere…”

“Thank you, czennie.”

Taglist: @mymoodwriting @justhere4kpop @anyamaris @yeoobin @icchyi @jwnghyuns @piratequeen-queenofgames @dinonuguaegi @oreharuuu @hwanring @sanwifesstuff @kiwiisnthereoops @kiwiraccoon @hyuukah @kazscara @aceofspadesbiofalltrades [open!]

The light in darkness

Pairing: mafia leader !Taeyong x f!reader

Genre: Mafia, slight angst, fluff

Warnings: None...just mention of guns and try to kill. Threats, misunderstandings, unforgiving and forgiveness, false death news and rival gang. A lot of mafia shits and mutual understanding and love.

W.C: 4.1k network: @k-vanity

It’s supposed to be a birthday gift for my bestie @nctstar but ik it’s too late😭 please accept my token of love for you🎀

🔥🔥🔥 Fire in the eyes.

That's how his eyes were reflecting the massacre in front of him.

Building engulfed in the high-rise fire and dense white and gray smoke. A smirk appeared on the face of the leader, brushing back his hairs and kicking the small piece of rock with the tip of his shoe, he turned around to face his best friend.

"It's done, boss."

The leader just nodded and walked towards the car waiting for him in the distance and he knew that the mission was successful and his revenge was over.

As usual he succeeded in this mission too.

He killed you.

>>>><<<< 

Years had passed after the death of the CEO, Taeyong took over the organization, a well-known figure as the mafia leader of the leading group, NCT.

Despite his busy schedule, he always made time for his brother Mark, attending his university events and supporting his endeavors. Basically, you are Mark’s batchmate so it’s a gift for him to meet you whenever he goes to meet his set up spy --- his brother.

One night, as Taeyong was winding down after a long day after a mission, his phone rang. Seeing Mark's name on the screen, he answered immediately.

"Mark? What's wrong?" Taeyong asked, sensing the distress in his brother's voice.

"Hyung," Mark sobbed, barely able to get the words out. "She ruined everything. y/n... she destroyed our mission and tried to kill me."

Taeyong's heart sank.

y/n , someone Taeyong had come to know and trust. you seemed kind-hearted and genuinely in love with him. What could have happened to cause such a rift?

"Calm down, Mark. Tell me everything," Taeyong urged, trying to keep his own emotions in check.

Through broken words and stifled sobs, Mark recounted the story. He claimed that you had betrayed them, leaking confidential information that led to the destruction of the company. you had allegedly colluded with a rival to humiliate him and tarnish their reputation.

Taeyong was devastated, feeling betrayed by the person he loved most.

How could you do this to him?

He felt a surge of anger unlike anything he had ever experienced. you had seemed like the perfect girl, but now it appeared that you had a dark side. Taeyong vowed to make you pay for what you had done to them.

However, unknown to him, the truth was far more complicated than it seemed.

Taeyong began his plan for revenge with meticulous precision. He knew your routines and habits from the times you both have spent with each other and your social media posts.

Heck! He knows everything about you. He knows you. Not only your information and location but your feelings, your touch, your emotions, your voice and even your unspoken words.

So, your unspoken truth was also to betray him but why?

He let out a frustrated groan and aggressively brushed back his red hairs. The look on his face was absolute danger and the slit eyebrow with his finger rings brushing against them.

He can kill anyone.

You worked as a kindergarten teacher at a small school and often spent your evenings at a quaint café near your apartment. Taeyong decided to confront you there, where you would least expect it.

Or maybe you expect him?

One evening, he found you sitting alone at the café, engrossed in a book. Taking a deep breath, he approached your table, his mind set on exposing your deceit.

"Y/n," he said, his voice steady but cold.

You looked up, your eyes widening in surprise. "Taeyong? What are you doing here?"

It's been a month he had last contacted you and you didn’t question him further because Mark told you that he was busy with something and you better know that the mafia life is not something to play.

"I need to talk to you," Taeyong replied, sitting down across from you without waiting for an invitation. "About us."

Your expression softened, a hint of sadness in your eyes. "Us? What happened? Are you okay?"

Taeyong's anger flared. "Don't pretend you care. You know exactly what you did."

The anger on his face with the burning eyes staring at the soft and calm eyes of yours.

Confusion clouded your features. "What are you talking about?"

"You ruined everything ," Taeyong said, his voice rising. "You betrayed me,...even tried to kill my brother."

You ruined…betrayed…tried to kill?

He grabbed your forearm and dragged you outside the café. You didn’t even protest or fight back, maybe because your mind was already clouded with the accusation and his hatred towards you.

Doesn’t he trust you?

You kept staring at him until he took you to the nearby alley and harshly pushed you against the wall. You hissed when your back hit the concrete wall and bit down your lips to prevent any sob to escape.

Taeyong can’t hurt you, right?

He trusts you…yes yes he does.

Tears welled up in your eyes, and you shook her head. "No, Taeyong, that's not true. I would never do anything to hurt Mark and you."

"Save your lies," Taeyong spat, his heart pounding with rage. "I won't let you get away with this."

He slammed his hand beside your head. His eyes flaring in rage and you flinch at the sudden move but his emotions didn’t falter. He was fuming and could kill you anytime.

And he will.

Trying to touch his face, you slid a hand to his cheeks but he swatted it away and glared. “don’t try to make me trust you… I thought I had you. You are someone to me whom I can love forever. I wanted to leave all this shit just to be with you but you are the one who is trying to end everything…along with me.”

He scoffed, “what will you get from all these? Money? Power? Or are you just with me for someone else?” he grabbed your cheeks, your skin burning under his grip, he didn’t care the tears flowing down your eyes, “Tell me, y/n!”

He doesn’t want love.

He wanted revenge.

He wanted to kill you so that he won't regret loving someone who broke his trust. Someone he loved with everything.

He pulled his gun from the strap and held it to your head. Your wide eyes earned a sickening smirk from him, “I hate that I love you, y/n. I hate everything. I hate myself for trusting you.” He pressed the gun hard, you were not crying, not even flinching, not even fighting against it, “but I hate that I can’t hate you. Why? Y/n, get the fuck out of m, get the fuck out of my sight.”

You were staring blankly at him. it was like a void surrounded you where nothing else you can see or hear, it's only you and him and his hatred. And your emotions? You want to run away from him but still you want to stay close to him.

You accepted the situation, grabbing his leather jacket and clutching it tightly, you closed your eyes and whispered, “I can’t unlove you, Taeyong. Shoot.” You tried to smile but couldn’t so you breathed heavily, you didn’t want to meet his gaze, “I can’t see you hate me. I don’t want you to hate us. I love you, Taeyong.”

You waited for his action, his voice or the pull of the trigger but you heard nothing until he uttered under his breath, “I wish I hated you.”

Before you could respond, Taeyong stormed out of the alley, his mind set on finding more concrete evidence of your betrayal. Despite the nagging feeling that your reaction had been genuine, the anger inside him was doubting his every thought.

Did he just try to kill you?

Your eyes fluttered open and your eyes followed how he crossed the street and got on his bike. Before he could start the engine, he turned towards you, his face was hidden under the helmet except his eyes but you didn’t know what to feel at this exact moment.

There was relief in his eyes.

You are alive and he didn’t kill you.

But you clenched your teeth. Taeyong tried to kill you and still you chose to trust him and accept your fate in his hands. You are pathetic, y/n.

The bike went off to the dark endless highway, leaving behind you standing there in the lonely alley.

He loved you and trusted you.

After Mark, you are the most precious person to him and he couldn't believe that in the end, you were going to be the one to break him.

.

.

.

Days turned into weeks, and Taeyong's investigation grew more intense. He hacked into your email and social media accounts, searching for anything that could prove your guilt. He followed you discreetly, hoping to catch you in a compromising situation.

If you were someone else then he would have killed you on the spot. He wouldn't have thought twice about it, but you are someone he can't even hate for a moment and…how could he end it?

He loves you.

But you betrayed him and he believes in revenge.

To destroy you.

And his men followed his order to end you.

They ended the chapter of yours.

.

.

>>>><<<< 

.

.

However, what he found in his search after that only deepened the mystery.

your messages were filled with concern for him. you had been trying to reach him, desperate to explain something. your social media posts depicted a girl heartbroken and confused, not the scheming villain Taeyong had imagined. As he delved deeper, he began to uncover pieces of a different story.

One evening, Taeyong found himself sitting in his apartment, surrounded by printouts of your whereabouts, emails and social media messages. He had spent countless hours piecing together the puzzle, and now he was starting to see a different picture. you had always been a protective sister and friend to Mark, but your efforts had been misconstrued, leading to a series of misunderstandings.

The real villain was someone Taeyong had a hunch of, a man named Hongjoong, who is the leader of Ateez and had been envious of Taeyong's success and had framed you to get him out of the scenario. you had no idea of Hongjoong's scheme and never tried to doubt him when they met at a cafe, but your meetings and messages had been intercepted and twisted to make you look guilty.

Realization hit Taeyong like a ton of bricks. He had been wrong about you. you weren't the villain—you were the victim, just like him. His heart sank as he realized the pain he had caused you with his unjust accusations.

And…he can’t apologize because that day, he burned that building, where apparently you were there. He didn’t know earlier but the next day he got the message from his members. You are no more and he hates himself more because the last words he heard from you was your love for him but he showed his hatred to you.

Will you forgive him after death?

"y/n, I'm so sorry," Taeyong whispered, his voice trembling. "I should have trusted you."

.

.

.

The moon hung low in the night sky, casting an eerie glow over the bustling city. As the leader of the most powerful mafia gang in the city, he commanded respect and loyalty from his men. But despite his cold and calculated demeanor, his heart had always been haunted by a single, lost love.

Years ago, a rival gang had taken everything from him.

 His empire had been on the verge of collapse, and in the midst of the chaos, he lost the only girl he had ever loved. Taeyong believed you had been killed in the crossfire, --- killed by him.

your death had fueled his ruthless rise to power. Your memory was the ghost that guided his hand as he crushed his enemies and expanded his dominion.

Tonight, however, was different.

Taeyong's trusted lieutenant, Jaehyun, approached him as he stood in his luxurious penthouse, looking out over the city. "Taeyong, we've got intel on The New Rival. They're targeting our shipments. If we don't act soon, we'll lose millions."

Taeyong turned, his sharp eyes glinting with determination. "Arrange a meeting. I want to confront this one face to face."

Jaehyun nodded and hurried off to make the arrangements. Taeyong's mind raced as he considered the possibility of a new threat. He had faced many enemies over the years, but there was something different about this one.

The meeting was set for midnight in a deserted warehouse on the outskirts of the city.

His men went before but he delayed the time. People should have patience to meet him and he loves to see them getting anxious waiting for him. He smirked at the thought and started the engine of his bike.

Taeyong arrived with his most trusted men, each one armed and ready for a confrontation. He stood in the center of the garden of the warehouse, his sharp eyes scanning the darkness for any signs of movement.

“kill them at once.” He ordered his men and they all went into their directions, leaving him alone in the front gate from where only the leader would greet him.

The door creaked open, and a figure clad in black stepped in front. The figure moved with a fluid grace, their face obscured by the darkness. Taeyong's heart pounded in his chest as he watched the figure approach.

It’s familiar somehow and the only name is flashing inside his head. He shook off the feeling and tilted his head.

In the shadows, the name "Taeyong" was whispered with both reverence and fear.

"I've been waiting for this moment," Taeyong said, his voice steady despite the turmoil within him. "You've caused quite a stir. It's time we end this."

The figure chuckled softly, a sound that sent a shiver down Taeyong's spine. "You don't recognize me, do you, Taeyong?"

The voice was familiar, achingly so. Taeyong's mind raced as he tried to place it. The figure reached up and slowly stood in front, revealing a face he had never expected to see again.

"y/n..." he whispered, his voice cracking with emotion.

you, his lost lover, stood before him, alive and very much real. your eyes, once filled with love and warmth, now burned with a fierce determination. Those glistening eyes he last saw in that alley.

"Surprised to see me?" you asked, a smirk playing on your lips.

Taeyong's world tilted on its axis. "But... I thought you were dead. They told me you were killed."

"They lied," you replied, your expression hardening. "I was taken by that rival gang, yes, but I escaped from the building. And now, I've been fighting from the shadows, trying to bring down the very empire you built. You know your most trusted men helped me in this."

Taeyong took a step back, the weight of your words crashing down on him. "Why, y/n? Why would you want to destroy everything I've worked for?"

your eyes flashed with anger. "Because you changed, Taeyong. The man I loved would never have become this... monster. You've become everything you once fought against. You even tried to do the very same thing which you accused me of." you repeatedly hit his chest with your index finger.

Taeyong felt a surge of conflicting emotions. He had been driven by revenge, by the need to avenge your deed ---- the stupid information he trusted. Then your death shifted something inside him --- the thing he even hated about himself but also loved the change. He blamed it on you.

You have turned him like this.

But now, seeing you alive, he realized how far he had strayed from the person he once was.

"I did it for you," he said, his voice trembling. "Everything I did, it was because I thought I had lost you."

you stepped closer, your gaze softening for the first time. "You didn't lose me, Taeyong. You lost yourself. Also, didn’t you want to kill me." you looked up at the sky, “I believed for a moment that you will shoot and that’s the end.”

Again, you met his lost and shocked gaze, “but still I trusted you, Taeyong. And I should say the same thing today… I wish I hated you the same way you did.”

A tense silence filled the place as the two stood face to face, years of pain and longing reflected in their eyes.

The men outside the warehouse and around were oblivious to the emotional battle unfolding within you two. You both heard gunshots and noticed Jaehyun running towards the two of you. For a second, he halted when he saw you. He definitely knew you were alive, of course he was one of the men who helped you to hide from the world because after that mission, if anyhow the rivals knew that you were alive they would definitely try to kill you.

And they knew that would not be good for Taeyong.

But seeing you in the area of their rival was not sitting right. He didn’t say anything to you but turned towards Taeyong, “we have captured the leader. The others will take him to the base and we are cleaning the mess here quickly.”

They both exchanged nods and he ran off.

You flinched at the gunshots and then some shouts. Taeyong noticed, he noticed your every detail today and he won't let you slip like the last time, he grabbed your hand and started running towards a direction away from the warehouse, nearly the edge of the cliff. His bike was parked there and stopped beside it.

“Are you going to push me off here?”

You didn’t know what reply you could expect but suddenly he pulled you in his embrace, “never. y/n, you are everything to me. even if I did hurt you and hate you. Just know I hate myself more. y/n…I can’t hate you. I love you so much. I love you.” He planted a kiss on the crown of your head.

You hesitated to hug him at first but soon you let yourself melt in his arms, those warming and restless nights and whispered promises flashing in front of your nights when you both shared life and promised to stay for eternity. That can’t be over in years. He took two years to meet you again.

He hugged you tighter when he felt your arms wrapping around him, your ear pressed against his chest could pick up his heartbeat increasing its pace. He placed his chin on top of your head, “I don’t know what you are doing here today but please y/n let me prove every mistake I have made. I won’t hurt you again. I want to love you, y/n. I know probably it’s too late, might be…you have already given up on me.”

He doesn’t want to kill you.

He wants to love you.

Finally, you spoke. "It's not too late, Taeyong. We can fix this. But you have to choose—continue down this path of darkness, or find a way to make things right. Also, I knew this rival was friends with Hongjoong and I came here in the hope to meet you in person. I have watched you from shadows and always Jaehyun told me that to trust you that you love me."

Taeyong looked into your eyes, the love he had buried deep within him rekindling. He knew the choice he had to make. With a deep breath, he reached out and took your hand.

"I will choose you," he said, his voice filled with resolve. "Together, we'll tear down this empire and build something better. Please, have trust in me."

You looked up at his face, “it’s not about ending this empire. It’s about us --- you and me individually and together. This is your life, Taeyong and I won’t snatch away the things from you for which you have worked hard for years. But I want you to believe in me and yourself. It hurt me when you looked at me the way you looked at your rivals. I am not your enemy, Taeyong.”

You cupped his cheek, “I would end myself before hurting you. I would do anything to protect you.”

His fingers circled around your wrist and whispered, “I know.”

You shook your head, “you don’t know that you are different to me than anyone else.”

“how?”

“You are my only fire and light in this dark world.”

He kissed the side of your palm and smiled, brushing your hairs away from the face with his slender fingers, he placed  a soft kiss on your forehead, “I can burn like a sun in this darkness for others--- to end them with my rage and power but for you I will light like a moon—calm and contended for you to love me ad trust me. I’m sorry, y/n.”

“Taeyong… you didn’t kill me. even though you tried…”

“don’t defend my actions, y/n. I definitely did wrong.” He turned serious and his voice was heavy and low.

This time you smiled, “but you didn’t. you hesitated because I know you love me. you are not the person I know to hesitate in this situation. You are a perfect leader. I am proud of you.”

“You are too innocent, y/n. I love you.” He pecked your lips. His lips on you felt so surreal after years and you wanted to taste it more. Not now but maybe later. You can wait for it and him. you have waited for so long and now you can wait with him.

His lips ghosted over yours when you whispered, “I know you will guide my innocence. I love you too, Taeyong.”

As they drove off the place hand in hand, the future was uncertain. But for the first time in years, Taeyong felt a glimmer of hope. He had been given a second chance with his lost love, and he intended to make the most of it, even if it meant facing the shadows of his past.

The days that followed were fraught with danger.

Taeyong's decision to dismantle his rivals was met with fierce resistance from his own men and rival gangs alike. Many saw his actions as a sign of weakness for his lover, and attempts were made on his life. But Taeyong and you stood united, your bond stronger than ever.

You are not his weakness but his strongest ability.

you used your knowledge of the underworld to aid Taeyong in his mission. you had spent years gathering information, and now, they used it to systematically help Taeyong in his missions. He included you as his partner in this world. It was of course against his choice --- mostly yours. He didn’t want to risk your life but your determination to help him made him proud of his lover. You both exposed corrupt officials, freed those who had been wronged by the rivals, and reclaimed the city from the clutches of their darkness.

One night, as you both sat together in a small, hidden safehouse, Taeyong looked at you with gratitude. "I wouldn't have been able to do this without you," he admitted.

you smiled, your eyes filled with warmth. "We've both changed, Taeyong. But together, we can create something good out of all this chaos."

your journey was far from over.

The city was still rife with corruption, and there were many who would stop at nothing to see you both fail. But for Taeyong and you, the fight was worth it. you have found each other again, and in doing so, you have found a new purpose.

The purpose of living for each other.

As you faced the challenges ahead, Taeyong knew one thing for certain: he would protect you with his life, just as you had protected him. Together, you would forge a new path, one where love and redemption could flourish amidst the shadows of your past.

To the city he is the fiercely burning sun but he would hide to be your moon in the darkness.

Note here💌:

So, you have two good news. One: I'm going to post another fic today...clap your hands💋

Another, I'm going to start writing Smuts again coz say thanks to my bestie because she made my mood lift up in past weeks and I'm out of that zone and yes spicy fics incoming soon👹

Thanks for reading and reblogging. Your reviews and comments are always appreciated. Spread love not hate.

Taglist: @mymoodwriting @justhere4kpop @anyamaris @yeoobin @icchyi @jwnghyuns @piratequeen-queenofgames @dinonuguaegi @oreharuuu @hwanring @hyuukah @kazscara @aceofspadesbiofalltrades @nvdhrzn @meowmeeps @vtyb23 @haechansbbg @corneliarstreet [open!]

fic rec ii ♡

part i here.

finally finished my exams, well kinda i have two more on monday but i’ll compile some fics na so that it’s gonna be a lot more than the last time. thank you for the likes and reblogs. 

also i just wanna ask the writers do i like like your fics or reblog or both? please do reply hehe, thank you again for making fics because it truly makes me happy. 

please free to recommend your favorite fic that i haven’t feature yet. i’m a sucker for dad!jaehyun and dad!jungkook, basically idols being a dad. also please recommend more yugyeom fics, i badly need yugyeom in my life rn. 

a for angst

f for fluff

s for smut

// for series or list

kpop oc/s

// sunhee by @sunhee-kpopoc (love her)

doyoung

17:22 | f s by @ethaeriyeol

no title | a by @slightlymore

collapsing together as the dawn breaks | f a by @slightlymore

sleep tight | f by @jaeminscoffee

jaehyun

for us | f by @kireimarkeu

// dad jaehyun | f s m @jaehyunspeachparty

no title | a by @sakuurae

1:06 am | s by @jeongvision

// preschool | a f by @jenojam

kiss me | f s by @taurusjaehyun

cinnamon and sugar | f s by @kthpurplesyou

the one with hangover | f by @mistymark

homebound | a f @kinqjaehyxn

love you goodbye | a s f by @serendipityseulgi

quit | a s f by @mskimkaty

no title | f by @smileysuh

9:36 pm | f by @dreamswithinadreaminadream

jungkook

game over | f s by @namgukgalore

make it right | s a by @jungkxook

late fee | f s by @1kook

no title | f s by @ubemango

no title | f s by @angelguk

quiet rides | f s by @inkedtae

// dad jungkook:  just like daddy,  petunia? petunia,  art sessions ft daddy’s tattoos,  late night rewards | f by @angelguk

private shows | s by @filterjeons

first time together | s a by @httpjeon

beast | f s a by @ephemeralkookie

// youtube!jungkook drabble list | f @bubmyg

no title | f by @bubmyg

put your head on my shoulder | f s by @joonkookiemonster

soft nights | f by @softguks

distractions | s by @1kook

sore | f by @kooks3uphoria

breathe | f s a by @ephemeralkookie

no title | s by @thirstybtsthoughts

sleepy | f s by @floralseokjin

over the edge | s by @kpopfanfictrash

warm me up | f s by @pjm-com

slightly jealous | f s by @floralseokjin

hotel room | s by @jungkookiebus

indulgence | f s by @ppersonna

hush | s by @aureumjeon

attachment: 1 image | s by @1kook

// crybaby 1 2 3 | f s by @lavishedinjimin

thigh time | f s by @zibermuda

be mine | a f s by @staerrylights

crush | f a by @jungxk

wake up call | s by @junghelioseok

trippin’ | s f by @koophoriia

netflix and chill | f s by @1kook

jeno

true love | s a by @whereisten

salty | f a by @tastyykpop

make me scream | f s by @neocitybynight

my first and last | f a by @tyongxnct

donghyuck’s trick | f s by @loviejaehyun

paraluma | f a by @neoiovebot 

final match | f a by @arietaurumini

haechan

to you | f by @kireimarkeu

lucas

where’s the ring | f by @wayvland

11:45 pm | f by @clubyukhei

no title | f by @bl--ankhaeji

all my first | f s m by @loviejaehyun

yuta

grass | f by @hyuckles-chuckles

taeyong

reasons why i can’t forget you | a f by @taeyongtime

finale of the longing heart | a f by @taeyongtime

johnny

braids | f by @hyuckles-chuckles

i’ll probably make part 3 and possibly 4 for the old fics that i’ve loved. 

anyway, thank you again for the writers please take care and be safe!

please free to recommend your favorite fic that i haven’t feature yet.

if the links won’t work please let me know and i’ll try to fix it as soon as possible!

to everyone! please take care and keep safe please!

fic rec iii ♡

part i and ii here.

finally, finally finished two ng last two exams today and i though why not used my remaining time compiling part iii, so here it is. enjoy!

i’ll will also start reblogging later after i post this. 

please free to recommend your favorite fic that i haven’t feature yet. 

a for angst

f for fluff

s for smut

sm for social media

// for series or list

jaehyun

once again | f a by @smoll-tangerine

gift galore | s f by @nctsworld

12:01 am | s by @neoct-zen

6:42 pm | s by  @neoct-zen

my little pea | f by @kireimarkeu

bad day | s by @domjaehyun

condom test | s by @starryhyuck

// gold painted canvas | f \\ by @hannie-dul-set

no title | a f by @jadedjaehyun

full house | s by @dimplyjae-archive

what happened to us 1 2 | a by @softdreamyhours

study sessions | s by @xiaomoon

enough | s f by @jaeminscoffee

parasido | f a by @caiuscassiuss

no title | f by @ppangjae

please, please, please | a f s by @dreaminghaos

// white champagne | f s a by @leesmrk

falling in love at a coffee shop | f by @jungcity

reaching out | f s by @thenctaddict

no title | f by @ppangjae

friends 1 2 | f a by @masjestickingdom

just got married | f a by @alreadyblondenow

bathing in love | f by @softsungchan

jungkook

after hours | s by @zibermuda

no title | f by @jjkxla

jeno

12:03 pm | f by @dont-look-down-on-me

dom antics | s f by @cherrysung

9:09 pm | s by @chansungies

domestic | f by @suhweetdreams

pavlov and ponytails | f s by @hyucksie

10:05 pm | f by @jaemericano

6:45 pm | f by @chaeryybomb

10 things i know about you | f by @asthmark

young love | f a by @serendipityseulgi 

singing in the rain | s f by @lybomb

birthday sex | s by @moonlit-jeno

eventually | f s a by @angelicmark

classmate jeno | f s by @smutbymia

wakey wakey | s by @jenonctcity

like i need you | f s by @dimplyjae-archive

no title | s by @strayscenes

no title | f by @theleemark

0 miles away | f s by @neovisioned

sugar & spice | f by @jensungf

9:36 am  | f by @haerinos

taste of intimacy | f a by @000609

no title | f  a by @gohyuck

persistent | f by @softyn

la la love | f by @chittapornswife

walk you home | f by @berryjaellie

clueless | f by @cozyjae

perfect | f s by @jenoismydad

scent | f by @masterninjacow

soft | f by @masterninjacow

home | f s a by @byunbaekby

jaemin

broadcasting blues | f by @hyuckles-chuckles

no title | f by @chocolvte

little quarantine funs | f by @haechacco

broken hearts club | a f by @nsheetee

next chapter | f by @purple-nana

i still like you a latte | f by @pastelsicheng

doing the bf tag with my bf | f by @luvdsc

180 days | s a by @kkuljaehyun

rollercoaster | f a s by @immabiteyou

sucker for you | f by @hunnyuwu

mark

mark, this is how we broke up | s f a by @alreadyblondenow

cold | f by @thenctaddict

fabric softerner | f a by @kopikokun

just tonight | a by @ijohnnys

from dusk to dawn 1 2 | f s a by @solcheeky

august 2nd, 11:43 am | s by @moonlit-jeno

1 sided love | a by @leahswritings

shower thoughts | f by @writemekpop

santorini, greece | f by @marklyxxi

highway to heaven | f s by @cherrysung

in love alone 1 2 by @markshearts

mark lee sucks at technology | f by @luvdsc

taeyong

too hot! hot damn! | f by @luvdsc

mellifluous | s by @jaeminscoffee

changes | a f by @kwanisms

on and off | f a s by @alreadyblondenow

doyoung

quiet love | f by @lebrookestore

soft spot | f by @prettychanyeol

no title | f by @slightlymore

acedia | f by @jaeminscoffee

love the way you lie | a by @writemekpop

no title | f by @neocitybynight

haechan 

i want it and i f*cking got it | f s by @alreadyblondenow

all at once, the happiness i knew 1 2 3 | f a by @taelme

3:50 am | f by @jaefluenza

// 37.5 viewers rating | a f s by @gohyuck

no title | f by @pastelsicheng

no title | f s by @jaemsins

lucas

somnophilia | s by @moonlit-jeno no title | s by @skzctnightnight

off limits | f s by @heartachetosing

college!au | f by @chittsu

drunk in love | f s by @clubyukhei

jisung

better together | f by @jensungf

falling for you | f a by @thanksjaemin

anyway, thank you again for the writers please take care and be safe!

please free to recommend your favorite fic that i haven’t feature yet.

if the links won’t work please let me know and i’ll try to fix it as soon as possible!

to everyone! please take care and keep safe please!

fic rec iv ♡

part i, ii and iii here.

this probably the last fic rec for now, i finally reached the end of my like section (?). thank you for liking my previous fic rec and for supporting the writers!

i also want to tell the reason why i made this fic rec (aside from sharing it to you guys) is for myself, like i don’t have to scroll down on my feed to see the fic that i want to read, it’s more convenient right?

thank you for the writers for keeping entertain because most if this fic i accumulate was at quarantine hehe. 

please free to recommend your favorite fic that i haven’t feature yet.

a for angst

f for fluff

s for smut

// for series or list

jeno

walk you home | f by @lucas-wongs

first tattoo | s by @hyuckattack

jaemin

1:03 pm | f by @the32ndbeat

regular | s by @leesmrk

sweet talk | f by @hyucksie

overstimulation | s by @orenmin

the chase | f a by @choerrypuffs

i’ll be your home | f s by @baekingpancakes

7:24 pm | f by @nsheetee

mark

can we kiss forever | f s by @rosepetaljaemin

comfortable | f by @asthmark

babe, im cold... | f by @immabiteyou

watermelon sugar high | f by @loviejaehyun

show me love | f by @markswoman

sweet loving | f s a by @angelicmark

baby | f by @127vevo

jaehyun

don’t go to bed | f by @baekhelvetica

no title | f by @solcheeky

[N’14] waiting rooms | f by @solcheeky

in the dark | s by @domjaehyun

comfort | f by @stormae

to jaehyun, my first love | f a by @notnctu

4:15 pm | f by @fullsuh

new things: simple | s f by @moondustis

home run | s by @moondustis

11:20 am | f  by @forehead-enthusiast

a year’s farewell 1 2 | f s by @chogiwank

sunday morning | s by @chogiwank

friday boy i ii | f s by @heartachetosing

redamancy | f a s @icedcappujaeno

wheel of fortune | f by @h2yeri

no will know, unless you let them | s by @i-am-regular-scenarios

needy for you | f by @taecas

// what’s wrong kid | f by @withyounct

no title | f by @ppangjae

i can’t stop kissing you | f by @neo-culture-taste

tree house | f by @jungsin

7:37 am | f by @marklyxxi

hot girl bummer | s by @domjaehyun

domaine de la romanee | a s f by @heartau

9:29 pm | f by @jen-o-jam

flowers | f by @bus-stop-stop-stop

never know | a s f by @ofwolvesandbutterflies

// when icarus falls | a f by @baobaojng

luxury | f a by @nctstudio

no title | f a by @jaeffrey77

no title | f by @jaeffrey77

[19:00] | f by @cupofjae

a picture worth a thousand words | f by @wannanct

[2:42] | f by @poetrlee

[11:50] | f by @goldenscenarios

[3:32 pm] | f s by @lustbile

11:47 pm | f by @nastynct

no title | f sby @strayscenes

[12:36 pm] | f by @withyounct

(don’t) wake up | s by @domjaehyun

mr. jung | s by @domjaehyun

[1:23] | f by @jungsin

[9:42 pm] | s by @forehead-enthusiast

[1:30] | f by @babyflossy

unwind | f by @solcheeky

no title | f by @nsheetee

in your court | f by @boymeetsweevil

12:29 pm | f by @softquian

[3:58 pm] | f by @nctream-archive

just a little bit of your heart | a by @taurusjaehyun

secret dreams | s by @dimplyjae-archive

2:14 pm | f by @luvdsc

[10:59 pm] | a by @nct-jungjaehyun

[4:40] | f by @nct-jungjaehyun

[12:56] | f by @nct-jungjaehyun

[10:48 pm] | f by @nct-jungjaehyun

8:30 pm | f by @lovemenowjjh01

8:00 am | f by @lovemenowjjh01

01:12 am | f by @honeyyu

no title | f by @yttanct

heartstrings | a by @jae-canikeepyou

seville | f by @jae-canikeepyou

oppa knows best 1 2 | s a by @wildernessuntothemselves

we’ll be alright | a f by @yoursinfulurges

[00:03] | f by @elauniesdream

[1:30] | f by @cupofjae

no title | f s by @jungcity

[5:21 pm] | f by @leesmrk

[23:47] | f by @hyucks-archive

[4:14 pm] | f by @sunny-jaes

rainy cuddles with jaehyun | f by @flwrxuxi

no title | f by @jenomark

no title | f by @jackbabewang

no title |s by @sluttyten

too late | a by @ddeonghwaa

no title | f by @jungstruly

ordinary people | f a by @ppangjae

tease | f a s by @whereisten

our playlist | f a by @rendezvousrenjun

no title | f by @jenomark

no title | f by @sluttyten

[10:04 pm] | f by @sunny-jaes

untitled | f by @jungyunos-archive

everything i want | f by @nctream-archive

no title | f by @jackbabewang

jaehyun’s family | f by @okayoonoh

his good girl | f s by @jackbabewang

new to this | f by @jackbabewang

haechan

my hoodie | f by @nsheetee

doyoung 

precaution | f s a by @dreaminghaos

white lace | s by @chogiwank

afterglow | f s a by @epinebleue

blue lace | s by @moondustis

taeyong

red-eye | f by @cirrus-lily

suckers | f a s by @neo-cult-ure

love at first flight | f a by @j-woosderland

an idol’s girl 1 2 | a by @darkneogotmyback

gamer antics | s by @sakuurae

loose ends | a f s by @dreaminghaos

yuta

no title | f by @suhsexual

lucas

chapstick challenge | f by @neo-culture-taste

anyway, thank you again for the writers please take care and be safe!

please free to recommend your favorite fic that i haven’t feature yet.

if the links  won’t work and i labelled some fics wrong please let me know and i’ll try to fix it as soon as possible!

fluff fic rec ♡

fluff | fluff | fluff 

please keep in mind that these fics are already featured on the fic rec, this is like a compilation of the fluff in the fic recs i like okay hehe.

please recommend you fav fics.

part 2

smut | angst | fluff

jeno

walk you home | f by @lucas-wongs

12:03 pm | f by @dont-look-down-on-me

dom antics | s f by @cherrysung

domestic | f by @suhweetdreams

pavlov and ponytails | f s by @hyucksie

10:05 pm | f by @jaemericano

6:45 pm | f by @chaeryybomb

10 things i know about you | f by @asthmark

young love | f a by @serendipityseulgi

singing in the rain | s f by @lybomb

eventually | f s a by @angelicmark

classmate jeno | f s by @smutbymia

like i need you | f s by @dimplyjae-archive

no title | f by @theleemark

0 miles away | f s by @neovisioned

sugar & spice | f by @jensungf

9:36 am  | f by @haerinos

taste of intimacy | f a by @000609

no title | f  a by @gohyuck

persistent | f by @softyn

la la love | f by @chittapornswife

walk you home | f by @berryjaellie

clueless | f by @cozyjae

perfect | f s by @jenoismydad

scent | f by @masterninjacow

soft | f by @masterninjacow

home | f s a by @byunbaekby

salty | f a by @tastyykpop

make me scream | f s by @neocitybynight

my first and last | f a by @tyongxnct

donghyuck’s trick | f s by @loviejaehyun

paraluma | f a by @neoiovebot

final match | f a by @arietaurumini

helping hands | f by @lucaswithnoshirt

this is how you broke jeno’s heart | f a s by @alreadyblondenow

jaemin

1:45 | f by @jensungf

1:03 pm | f by @the32ndbeat

sweet talk | f by @hyucksieulation | s by @orenmin

the chase | f a by @choerrypuffs

i’ll be your home | f s by @baekingpancakes

7:24 pm | f by @nsheetee

broadcasting blues | f by @hyuckles-chuckles

no title | f by @chocolvte

little quarantine funs | f by @haechacco

broken hearts club | a f by @nsheetee

next chapter | f by @purple-nana

i still like you a latte | f by @pastelsicheng

doing the bf tag with my bf | f by @luvdsc

rollercoaster | f a s by @immabiteyou

sucker for you | f by @hunnyuwu

mark

mark, this is how we broke up | s f a by @alreadyblondenow

cold | f by @thenctaddict

fabric softerner | f a by @kopikokun

from dusk to dawn 1 2 | f s a by @solcheeky

shower thoughts | f by @writemekpop

santorini, greece | f by @marklyxxi

highway to heaven | f s by @cherrysung

mark lee sucks at technology | f by @luvdsc

can we kiss forever | f s by @rosepetaljaemin

comfortable | f by @asthmark

babe, im cold… | f by @immabiteyou

watermelon sugar high | f by @loviejaehyun

show me love | f by @markswoman

sweet loving | f s a by @angelicmark

baby | f by @127vevo

flat | f by @jaeminscoffee

jaehyun

don’t go to bed | f by @baekhelvetica

no title | f by @solcheeky

[N’14] waiting rooms | f by @solcheeky

comfort | f by @stormae

to jaehyun, my first love | f a by @notnctu

4:15 pm | f by @fullsuh

new things: simple | s f by @moondustis

11:20 am | f  by @forehead-enthusiast

a year’s farewell 1 2 | f s by @chogiwank

friday boy i ii | f s by @heartachetosing

redamancy | f a s @icedcappujaeno

wheel of fortune | f by @h2yeri

needy for you | f by @taecas

// what’s wrong kid | f by @withyounct

no title | f by @ppangjae

i can’t stop kissing you | f by @neo-culture-taste

tree house | f by @jungsin

7:37 am | f by @marklyxxi

domaine de la romanee | a s f by @heartau

9:29 pm | f by @jen-o-jam

flowers | f by @bus-stop-stop-stop

never know | a s f by @ofwolvesandbutterflies

// when icarus falls | a f by @baobaojng

luxury | f a by @nctstudio

no title | f a by @jaeffrey77

no title | f by @jaeffrey77

[19:00] | f by @cupofjae

a picture worth a thousand words | f by @wannanct

[2:42] | f by @poetrlee

[11:50] | f by @goldenscenarios

[3:32 pm] | f s by @lustbile

11:47 pm | f by @nastynct

no title | f sby @strayscenes

[12:36 pm] | f by @withyounct

(don’t) wake up | s by @domjaehyun

[1:23] | f by @jungsin

[1:30] | f by @babyflossy

unwind | f by @solcheeky

no title | f by @nsheetee

in your court | f by @boymeetsweevil

12:29 pm | f by @softquian

[3:58 pm] | f by @nctream-archive

2:14 pm | f by @luvdsc

[4:40] | f by @nct-jungjaehyun

[12:56] | f by @nct-jungjaehyun

[10:48 pm] | f by @nct-jungjaehyun

8:30 pm | f by @lovemenowjjh01

8:00 am | f by @lovemenowjjh01

01:12 am | f by @honeyyu

no title | f by @yttanct

seville | f by @jae-canikeepyou

we’ll be alright | a f by @yoursinfulurges

[00:03] | f by @elauniesdream

[1:30] | f by @cupofjae

no title | f s by @jungcity

[5:21 pm] | f by @leesmrk

[23:47] | f by @hyucks-archive

[4:14 pm] | f by @sunny-jaes

rainy cuddles with jaehyun | f by @flwrxuxi

no title | f by @jenomark

no title | f by @jackbabewang

too late | a by @ddeonghwaa

no title | f by @jungstruly

ordinary people | f a by @ppangjae

tease | f a s by @whereisten

our playlist | f a by @rendezvousrenjun

no title | f by @jenomark

no title | f by @sluttyten

[10:04 pm] | f by @sunny-jaes

untitled | f by @jungyunos-archive

everything i want | f by @nctream-archive

no title | f by @jackbabewang

jaehyun’s family | f by @okayoonoh

his good girl | f s by @jackbabewang

new to this | f by @jackbabewang

once again | f a by @smoll-tangerine

gift galore | s f by @nctsworld

my little pea | f by @kireimarkeu

// gold painted canvas | f by @hannie-dul-set

no title | a f by @jadedjaehyun

enough | s f by @jaeminscoffee

parasido | f a by @caiuscassiuss

no title | f by @ppangjae

please, please, please | a f s by @dreaminghaos

// white champagne | f s a by @leesmrk

falling in love at a coffee shop | f by @jungcity

reaching out | f s by @thenctaddict

no title | f by @ppangjae

friends 1 2 | f a by @masjestickingdom

just got married | f a by @alreadyblondenow

bathing in love | f by @softsungchan

for us | f by @kireimarkeu

// dad jaehyun | f s m @jaehyunspeachparty

// preschool | a f by @jenojam

kiss me | f s by @taurusjaehyun

cinnamon and sugar | f s by @kthpurplesyou

the one with hangover | f by @mistymark

homebound | a f @kinqjaehyxn

love you goodbye | a s f by @serendipityseulgi

quit | a s f by @mskimkaty

no title | f by @smileysuh

9:36 pm | f by @dreamswithinadreaminadream

We Got Married | f by @nct-neoculture

5:26 |  f by @dont-look-down-on-me

shy boyfriend!jaehyun | f by @starsuh

24:09 | f by @romeozs

just friends 1, just friends 2 | f s by @ahgase55g7

back to you | f a by @svnthxsense

loverboy | f s by @blu-blooded

summer haze | f s a by @dreaminghaos

too late, can we fix this | f a by @ddeonghwaa

10:12 am | f by @ppangjae

the most beautiful things | f s by @jenosjupi

1:02 am | f by @suhweetdreams

no title | f by @jungstruly

no title | f by @notnctu

haechan

my hoodie | f by @nsheetee

i want it and i f*cking got it | f s by @alreadyblondenow

all at once, the happiness i knew 1 2 3 | f a by @taelme

3:50 am | f by @jaefluenza

// 37.5 viewers rating | a f s by @gohyuck

no title | f by @pastelsicheng

no title | f s by @jaemsins

to you | f by @kireimarkeu

doyoung

precaution | f s a by @dreaminghaos

afterglow | f s a by @epinebleue

quiet love | f by @lebrookestore

soft spot | f by @prettychanyeol

no title | f by @slightlymore

acedia | f by @jaeminscoffee

no title | f by @neocitybynight

17:22 | f s by @ethaeriyeol

collapsing together as the dawn breaks | f a by @slightlymore

sleep tight | f by @jaeminscoffee

taeyong

red-eye | f by @cirrus-lily

suckers | f a s by @neo-cult-ure

love at first flight | f a by @j-woosderland

loose ends | a f s by @dreaminghaos

too hot! hot damn! | f by @luvdsc

changes | a f by @kwanisms

on and off | f a s by @alreadyblondenow

reasons why i can’t forget you | a f by @taeyongtime

finale of the longing heart | a f by @taeyongtime

yuta

no title | f by @suhsexual

grass | f by @hyuckles-chuckles

lucas

chapstick challenge | f by @neo-culture-taste

off limits | f s by @heartachetosing

college!au | f by @chittsu

drunk in love | f s by @clubyukhei

where’s the ring | f by @wayvland

11:45 pm | f by @clubyukhei

no title | f by @bl–ankhaeji

all my first | f s m by @loviejaehyun

latte macchiato | f by @dawnwritesit

this has part 2, tumblr said its too long so imma make part 2 nalang hehe

anyway, thank you again for the writers please take care and be safe!

please free to recommend your favorite fic that i haven’t feature yet.

if the links won’t work and i labelled some fics wrong please let me know and i’ll try to fix it as soon as possible!

have a merry christmas and a happy new year everyone!!!

fic rec vi ♡

hi!

this is a another new set of fic rec and i’ll probably do a compilation of genre (?) just like the first ones.

made some changes like tidying up a bit and adding summary, for those that doesn’t have any summary i’ll try my best to add my own summary (it will probably be shit tho, i ain’t making a smut summary guys, i’m not confident in my describing a fic ability but i’ll try my best. if its in italic it means i made the summary hehez )  if the summary is shit, i made it okay.

read and support the fic and authors here: the fic rec ♡

a for angst

f for fluff

s for smut

// for series or list

nct 

jeno

no title by @tyongf-nct | s

- smut blurb.

body guards and boyfriend by @pastelsicheng | f

-  sometimes the only way you can really get some alone time with your boyfriend is by making his job hard.

lipstick smears by @kopikokun | f

-  jeno never thought trying to get his makeup artist’s attention would be this hard.

jaehyun

[10:30] by @moonttaeil | 

- a lockdown moment.

[2:40] by @nct-jungjaehyun | f a

- cute quality fluff time with bf!jae with a dash of angst.

[11:41] by @jeongvision | f 

- family time with apples.

just like magic by @starryhyuck | f s

-  jung jaehyun’s body count is almost as high as yours. however, after yuta spreads a nasty rumor, you learn that jaehyun’s always imagined those girls to be you instead.

love to hate me by @moonctzeny | s a 

-  you and jaehyun meet as sm trainees, developing a friendship until he debuts and you decided to leave the company and pursue a solo career. when you reunite again in a music show and he acts like he barely knows you, you stubbornly begin a series of hate-brimmed sex rendez-vous. your touch-and-go relationship continues on, until a song collaboration will force you both to deal with all your repressed feelings for each other.

moving on by @ddeonghwaa | f a

- reader has been chasing jae for some time but when she moved on jae suddenly enter the picture.

sun&moon by @ppangjae | f a

-  asking jeong jaehyun to accompany you to your family’s 1-week christmas vacation as your boyfriend has its consequences. one can surely get through 1 week of pretending to be in love with an enemy, right?

snack run with a snack by @kopikokun | f 

-  on your usual movie night with the members, they assign you sudden snack collecting duty. you’re a little peeved, but at least jaehyun offers to tag along. Unfortunately for you, things really aren’t going in your favour tonight.

lover boy by @neoct-zen | f s

- bunch fics of lover boy jae and reader.

jungwoo

one more time, please by @haequarius | f s

-  you don’t know what you and Jungwoo are, but you are certainly weak for him.

jealous by @whiplashsan | s 

-  jungwoo is all smiles and sunshine until he gets jealous, and he just so happens to get jealous over the smallest things when it comes to you.

doyoung

sugar, spice and everything not nice by @alreadyblondenow | s

-  doyoung getting your ring size wrong, unprotected sex, kitchen sex, slight fingering, wedding tragedies.

no title by @ncteaxhoe | s

- dom!doyoung, rough? i need holy water.

the little one by @ethaeriyeol | f 

-  a gift of life; female reader x husband!Doyoung; fluff, light angst, married au

lucas

exquisite taste by @weishenkonbini | s f

- smut but with a fluffy ending.

for you always by @labyrinthsofyou | f

-  in which you surprise yukhei when he forgets about your date.

6:19 by @cozykpopblurbs | f

- a cute fluff ft kun and winwin.

10:18 pm by @nctsoftarchives | f

- reader supports lucas at his superm debut stage. 

16:47 by @sichengssmile | f s 

- a fluffy smut. lucas a big boi.

missed you by @tokyobts | a f

-  after you and yukhei broke up, yukhei still has feelings for you. he reaches out to you at school and tries to get you back. at first you avoid him but later his actions manage to make your heart flutter. you’ve come to a sudden conclusion that you maybe still want him in your life.

johnny

34 + 35 by @domjaehyun | s 

- you and your husband johnny decide to take your marriage to the next step.

i couldn’t wait a little longer by @alreadyblondenow | s f a

-  you two were never together longer than two days, but the feelings, oh the feelings that you have for each other is clear as the day. it was a never-ending try of making the relationship official. johnny tried, you tried but it never happens.

what happens in korea, not stays in korea by @alreadyblondenow | f s 

-  a week vacation in korea for your sister’s wedding became even more exciting when a famous dj had a crush on you. johnny was sure that it’s love at first sight. not putting both of your careers on the line, you two had no regrets when the time comes and you finally leave.

laundry day by @immabiteyou | s

- a domestic fluffy smut.

make a wish by @sluttyten | s f a

-  you’re jungwoo’s sister, and he’s made it clear he wants you and Johnny to have nothing to do with each other. so you and johnny start fake dating to piss him off.

want it all by @sluttyten | f s 

-  you are entirely innocent to the point of being naive. johnny is not innocent, but he loves that you are because it means he can teach you everything you don’t know.

sungchan

wish i was her by @softsungchan | f a 

-  you wished you were her, laying in Sungchan’s arms and feeling his warm breath on your neck, giggling about sweet nothings whispered into the starry night. You wished for it to be you, the girl he liked.

2:21 am by @the32ndbeat | f 

- sungchan being whipped, thru a text message.

haechan

14:52 by @ukiyoexo | f

- a cute haechan and reader ft the reader’s baby sister moment.

prince’s order by @nsheetee | f

-  prince haechan nurses you after you faint, and orders you to stay with him until you feel better.

sweet treat by @markresonates | s

-  haechan takes you for ice cream but all you can think about is sex with him.  when you act like a brat, eventually you end up in the bathroom. with no panties. 

clingy by @love-mi | f 

-  I’m not clingy! I just love your company and constantly want to be around you and have your full attention at all times

mark

hyuck is always right by @luvrenjun00 | f 

- ceo!mark x reader ft baby donghyuck. a tooth-rotting fluff.

taeyong

snow storm by @whereisten | f s 

- a fluffy smut whilst a snow storm.

1:59 by @smoll-tangerine | f

- reader and taeyong ft my favorite game (where i always die first) among us!

bts

taehyung

is this allowed 1 2 by @seokiie  | f s

- how were you supposed to know bts would be filming at your coffee shop today? how were you supposed to know a certain curly-haired boy would take a liking  to you?

cabin pressure | f by @jiminrings | f 

-  pilot!y/n who accidentally became famous bc of a viral post about her, best friend!jimin!, taehyung having a shy lil crush on you aND ot7 being meanies for a tad bit :((

art major!tae and biochem major!yn | f by @jiminrings | f

-  tae’s cold and probably needs a friend more than he needs a model, y/n feels this nEED to take care of him, a term of enderment then a dash of emotional constipation and a sprinkle of jealousy :D

gank mid lane by @kimtaehyunq | f s 

- gank / verb: (in a video game) use underhand means to defeat or kill (a less experienced opponent)

birthday surprise by @ephemeralkookie |

-  like every year, you prepare a little surprise for your boyfriend’s birthday, one that you’ve been preparing for days. and after a very tiring day, taehyung only wants to spend the night in your loving arms.

jungkook

cookies & cream | s by @1kook | f s 

-  jungkook will watch a thousand cheesy christmas movies if it meant making you happy. (and maybe having his dick sucked.)

unholy night | s by @ephemeralkookie | f s

-  after a christmas day passed with the Jeon’s family, Jungkook decides to transform the holy night into an unholy one.

‘a short’ abstinence | s a by @seokiie | s a

-  maybe blue-balling you boyfriend (who has an insanely high sexual drive) wasn’t the best.

in which she’s done with him by @minstrivia | a

-  jungkook angst/fluff where he always pushes oc away (who confesses her feelings but was cruelly rejected) and insults her but she always comes back to take care of him when he’s drunk or picks him up from his one night stands and she finally decides to leave him alone.

bad influence by @noteguk | s 

-  in which you know jungkook is a bad influence on you, but you can’t avoid falling for him every time.

jock!jk and shy art major!yn by @jiminrings | f

-  established relationship ft. jock!jk and shy art major!y/n, y/n gets an unexpected pep talk and jungkook doubts himself, and either so much tears or so much dUST according to kook

special affair by @1oserjk | f

-  sugar daddy au except it’s just jk spoiling u thru animal crossing

fairy of shampoo by @ironicarmy | f s

-  sundays are for relaxation, house cleaning, and happiness.

abstract ft bob ross by @mimithings97 | f

-  paintbrush in one hand, joint in the other and you sitting on his dick is what jeongguk wants. and what jeongguk wants, jeongguk gets.

badboy!jungkook by @jungshookz | f 

- badboy!jungkook falls for good girl reader ft the boys and the reader’s apple. 

growing by @lesgetittkookie | f

- dad!jungkook teacher his daughter how to walk. super super cute family/domestic fluff.

quiet, baby by @bratkook | s 

- i don’t how to write a summary on smuts so imma just put this. reader and jungkook doing something in the subway.

still want that by @whatifyoulivelikethat | s

-  fucking min yoongi ex-girlfriend? a terrible idea. being hopelessly in love with her at the same time? an even worse idea. knowing he was being used and still doing it anyway? ah, Jeon Jungkook, what are you doing? part 2 of savage love.

desiderium by @jeonggukingdom | f s 

-  “we’ve been at it like rabbits, how are you still so horny?”. a newlyweds!au smut.

chapstick by @softyoongiionly | f s

- based on the time Jungkook said he needed someone to scold him so he’d remember to put lip balm on. or jungkook’s had a really long day and the only that can make it better, is seeing you. 

lover boy by @jingukk | f 

-  jungkook likes you. a lot.

unexpected confession by @sunkissedjk | f

-  you gathered up the courage to confess your feelings, but it seems everyone in school knows about it before you could even find him.

string attached by @ephemeralkookie | s

-  jungkook is what we can call your sexfriend. No strings attached, just you and him having fun and releasing the huge pressure and stress of being idols. But after spending an entire day together, you realize that maybe he’s not just your sexfriend.

no title by @himbojk | f s 

- dilf jk.

astro

eunwoo

ceo!eunwoo by @m0onbean

no title by @yutopiada | f

- a cute idol!reader and eunwoo moment at a music show.

disney by @bangchan-sonyeondan | f

- a cute date with eunwoo at disney. reader likes vintage things hence using a disposable camera.

baby, it’s cold outside by @fresh-outta-jams | f 

- a cute cold christmas fluff with eunwoo ft. the boys. reader went to the boys’ place for a sweater and cocoa gift exchange.

got7

yugyeom

cruel brothers by @imsarabum | f

-  jackson and jaebum have always acted as if they were your big, overprotective brothers. so when they both walk in on you and yugyeom in a very intimate position, things get a little tense!

txt

soobin

a special night by @gyuluster | f

-  an intimate insight on the first night of choi soobin’s wedding, consisting of kitchen floors, witches and an eternity of love.

boughs & branches by @jeogiyall | f 

-  decorating the tree with boyfriend! choi soobin from txt! fluffity fluff fluff with a lot of cute fluff thrown in and a dash of christmastime fluff. 

sleepy binnie by @immabiteyou | s

-  “i’ll let you do anything if you just touch me now. “ a sleepy soobin smut.

cake by @immabiteyou | s

- reading waiting for mc soobin with the guys. a cute fluffy smut moment.

kpop oc/s

seri by @ggukkiedae

anyway, thank you again for the writers please take care and be safe!

please free to recommend your favorite fic that i haven’t feature yet.

if the links won’t work and i labelled some fics wrong please let me know and i’ll try to fix it as soon as possible!

support the fic and the writers!

fic rec viii ♡

hi!

I've been away for so long because of school, recently I've been recognized as an honor student, these past few weeks i felt the pressure that I should do well, maintain my grade, and be a consistent honor student. i just genuinely hate school so much, i can't wait to graduate. but you know I'm thankful that despite i hate school so much i am able to do well and shit.

this is another new set of fic rec and i’ll probably do a compilation of genre (?) just like the first ones.

i didn't put a summary because i can't afford to write summaries with my poor writing skills and i also find it time-consuming hehe.

a for angst

f for fluff

s for smut

// for series or list

nct

jaehyun

1. try again | a by @gyukult

2. proposal | f by @jjpmoans

3. heart eyes | f by @yamyang

4. why can't we | a s by @neocain

5. jealous | f by @jaewin97

6. say something | a by @smoll-tangerine

7. moon river | s f a by @ppangjae

8. love station | f by @jeongjaebae

9. falling for a friend | f by @doiebunny

10. 3:07 am | f by @bluejaem

11. kismet | f a by @jae-canikeepyou

12. good for me | s by @solarune

13. 14:00 | s by @nctinthehouse

14. heat: alpha! jaehyun | s & team captain | s f by @smileysuh

15. love is not enough | s f & tequila, salt, lime | s & little cupid | f by @alreadyblondenow

16. the parent trap | f & 10:05 pm | f & untitled | f by @jeongvision

mark

1 just 14 days | f by @marksicecream

2 back to you | f a s by @tyongxnct

jeno

1. 6:58 am | s f by @immabiteyou

2. pretty baby | s by @xiaoderys

3. pussy blocked | a f by @luvdsc

4. high hopes | f by @jaeminlore

5. 4:37 | f by @dreaming-hehe

6. just give in | f by @jenoismydad

7. 3:22 am | f & 11:52 pm | f by @dont-look-down-on-me

8. i heard a rumor | a f s & bicycle | s by @markresonates

lucas

1. the dragon | s by @smileysuh

doyoung

1. he's never called her pretty | a f by @neoculturetravesty

2. 8:14 am | f by @dont-look-down-on-me

3. happy birthday | s f by @key201303

taeyong

1. friday evening | s f by @neoculturetravesty

2. love at first flight| s by @twentythreejoys

haechan

1. untitled | f by @loviejaehyun

bts

jungkook

i

ii

taehyung

1. uncharted territory | a s by @kimnjss

2. untitled | f by @yukheii

3. curtain | s by @btssmutgalore

4. a letter on roses | f by @artaefact

5. heatwave & drabbles | f s a by @curly-bangtan

6. maybe i do | s f a by @chateautae

7. socks | f by @buzzyybee

8. tempestuous | s by @ppersonna

9. love is not over | a f by @rookiegukie

10. marshmallows and report cards | f s by @untaemedqueen

11. exchanging heat | f s a by @jin-fizz

12. back to the start | a f by @honeyj00ns

jimin

1. what she likes | s f by @untaemedqueen

yoongi

1. change of plans | s by @joonsgalore

2. talented | f by @jimidol

3. accidents| f by @jungxk

4. first loves | f by @yukheii

jin

1. big dick, big heart | s & made up love song | // s f by @floralseokjin

i still have got7 recs (3 yugyeom and 7 jaebum) and e soobin from txt but if i add that to this list the writers are not going to be tagged. i will just add this recs to my next fic recs!

anyway, thank you again for the writers please take care and be safe!

please free to recommend your favorite fic that i haven’t feature yet.

if the links won’t work and i labeled some fics wrong please let me know and i’ll try to fix it as soon as possible!

support the fic and the writers!

smile for me (웃어줘) — lee taeyong (이태용)

✧.*

fate was a silent sculptor, a force that worked with the grace of a master artisan, molding the raw clay of existence into shapes unforeseen. it was an entity shrouded in mystery, an invisible thread weaver, pulling taut the strands of your life with an artistry both cruel and kind. every choice, every chance encounter, every seemingly trivial moment—fate held them in its delicate hands, spinning them into the tapestry of your existence.

but fate was not a mere craftsman; it was an omnipotent architect, capable of constructing entire worlds with a single breath. it could raise mountains of joy or carve deep valleys of despair with equal precision. it had the power to guide your steps down paths you never intended to tread, to bring you to your knees with the weight of its decisions, or to lift you to heights unimaginable, where the air was thin and every breath felt like a gift.

in its infinite wisdom, fate was both a gentle whisper and a thunderous roar. it spoke to you in the quiet moments of dawn, when the sky blushed with the promise of a new day, and it shouted at you in the chaos of a storm, when the winds howled with untamed ferocity. it was the unseen hand that nudged you towards love when your heart was unguarded and the ruthless tyrant that tore it away when you least expected it.

you knew that fate was not to be questioned. it was an ancient force, older than time itself, a presence that moved through the ages with a purpose unfathomable to mortal minds. it carried within it the echoes of a million lifetimes, the hopes and dreams of those who had come before you, and the silent prayers of those yet to be born. it was neither kind nor cruel, neither friend nor foe; it simply was.

the weight of nostalgia wrapped around you like a heavy blanket as your thoughts drifted back to those tender years when love was a golden thread that tied you and taeyong together. you were both so young, too young to understand the depth of the feelings that had blossomed between you, yet old enough to believe that what you shared was something eternal. it was the kind of love that flourished in secret, nurtured by stolen glances and whispered words under the cover of twilight. you could still remember the way his eyes lit up when he saw you, a brilliant, unwavering gaze that made you feel like you were the only person in the world. he had always been like that—intense, focused, as though nothing else mattered when you were together.

there was one evening, a memory still vivid in your mind, when the two of you had escaped to the old playground behind the school. the swings creaked with age, and the air was thick with the scent of rain that had just passed. you sat side by side, your hands barely touching, as you watched the sun dip below the horizon, painting the sky with hues of pink and gold.

“do you think we’ll always be like this?” you had asked him, your voice soft, almost hesitant. it was a question that carried the weight of your unspoken fears—the fear that this moment, like all things, would eventually fade.

taeyong had turned to you, his expression serious, but his eyes held that familiar warmth. “i don’t know what the future holds,” he had replied, his voice steady, “but as long as you’re here, i’ll be happy.” he reached for your hand then, his fingers lacing through yours in a way that felt both comforting and electrifying. you had smiled at him, feeling the warmth of his touch seep into your skin, anchoring you to that moment, to him. it was one of those rare times when the world seemed to stop, and all that existed was the two of you, together.

but the world didn’t stop, and neither did time. there were other memories, too—nights spent talking about dreams and fears, of futures you dared not imagine without each other. he had always been the more daring of the two, the one who would pull you into the unknown with a laugh and a promise that it would all be okay. and it always was, as long as he was by your side.

yet, nothing lasted forever. the inevitability of change came crashing into your life on a day that should have been ordinary. you could still hear the sound of your mother’s voice breaking as she delivered the news—the kind of news that shatters the world you thought you knew.

your sister was gone. the accident had been swift, merciless, taking her from you without warning, without time to prepare or to say goodbye. the grief that followed was a dark, suffocating cloud that settled over your home, over your heart. and with it came the decision that would alter the course of your life.

“we’re moving to gangnam,” your father had said, his voice heavy with a resolve that left no room for argument. it was meant to be a fresh start, a way to escape the memories that haunted every corner of your old life. but for you, it was the end of everything you knew, including your relationship with taeyong. you could still remember the day you told him. it was the last day of summer, the air thick with the scent of autumn just around the corner. you met him at the park, the same place where so many of your memories had been made. but this time, there was no laughter, no lightheartedness. only the heavy weight of what you had to say.

“i’m leaving,” you whispered, your voice trembling as you fought to hold back the tears that threatened to spill. “my family, we’re moving to gangnam. i don’t have a choice.”

taeyong’s eyes widened, disbelief and pain flashing across his face. “no, you can’t,” he murmured, stepping closer to you as if he could somehow change the reality with his presence alone. “we’ll find a way, we always do.”

but there was no way this time, and you both knew it. the distance, the grief, the weight of everything that had happened—it was too much. you shook your head, unable to meet his gaze. “we can’t, tae. this time, it really is goodbye.” he was silent for a long time, the kind of silence that felt like it stretched on forever, as if the world itself was holding its breath. when he finally spoke, his voice was low, filled with a sadness that broke your heart all over again. “i don’t want to say goodbye to you.”

you finally looked up at him, your vision blurred with unshed tears. “neither do i,” you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper. “but we don’t have a choice.”

he took your hand then, just as he had so many times before, but this time it felt different—final. he held it tightly, as if trying to memorize the feel of your skin against his, as if this one touch could somehow bridge the distance that was about to come between you.

“promise me something,” he said, his voice thick with emotion. “promise me you’ll be happy, no matter what happens.” you nodded, unable to find the words. your throat was tight, your heart breaking with every second that passed. but you knew you had to let him go, just as he had to let you go.

he smiled at you then, a sad, beautiful smile that you knew you would carry with you for the rest of your life. “smile for me,” he whispered, his thumb brushing away a tear that had escaped down your cheek. “just once more, before you go.”

you forced yourself to smile, though it felt like your heart was shattering into a thousand pieces. he leaned in, pressing a soft, lingering kiss to your forehead, his breath warm against your skin.

“i’ll never forget you,” he murmured against your hair, his voice breaking. “no matter where you go, or how much time passes. i’ll never forget.” you closed your eyes, savoring the warmth of that moment, knowing it was the last you would share. when you opened them again, he was already stepping back, his hand slipping from yours as if he was afraid to hold on too tightly, afraid to break you both. you watched him go, your heart aching with every step he took away from you. and when he was finally gone, you stood there for what felt like hours, the weight of the goodbye settling over you like a heavy, unbearable burden.

and though you eventually turned and walked away, leaving behind the park, the memories, and the boy you had once loved, you knew that a part of you would always remain there, with him, in the echoes of your past.

time had a way of healing wounds, softening the sharp edges of pain until they became manageable, like scars that faded but never entirely disappeared. after the storm of your past, you had found solace in creation, in the art of storytelling, where you could lose yourself in worlds of your own making. it was there, behind the lens of a camera, that you found your true calling.

filmmaking became your salvation. each frame you captured, each story you brought to life, was a step forward—a way to channel your grief, your loss, and the remnants of love that still lingered in the corners of your heart. you poured yourself into your work, every script a piece of your soul, every scene a reflection of your journey.

there was one film in particular, one that marked the turning point in your career and life. it was a story about love and loss, about the inevitability of change and the beauty that could still be found within it. it was a story that, in many ways, mirrored your own, though you kept that truth hidden beneath layers of fiction.

on the day of the premiere, you stood at the back of the theater, watching as the audience was drawn into the world you had created. the lights dimmed, the opening scene played, and you felt a sense of pride swell within you—a pride that you had not felt in a long time. you had done it. you had taken the broken pieces of your heart and crafted them into something beautiful, something that resonated with others.

when the lights came up and the applause filled the room, you allowed yourself a moment to close your eyes, to let the sound wash over you. it was more than just success; it was a validation of everything you had been through, a sign that you had not only survived but thrived.

later, as you mingled with guests at the after-party, you found yourself surrounded by admirers—people who had been touched by your work, who saw in you the talent and drive that had carried you this far. but amid the congratulations and praise, there was one moment that stood out above the rest.

a young aspiring filmmaker approached you, her eyes wide with admiration. “your film, it was incredible,” she said, her voice trembling with emotion. “i’ve always wanted to make films, but i never thought i could do it. watching your work, it’s made me believe that maybe i can.”

you smiled at her, seeing a reflection of your younger self in her eyes. “you can,” you assured her, your voice steady and warm. “if you have a story to tell, then nothing should stop you from telling it. the world needs to hear it, and you’re the only one who can share it in your way.” she beamed at your words, and you felt a deep sense of fulfillment knowing that you had inspired someone else to follow their dreams. it was in that moment that you realized how far you had come, not just in your career, but in your journey of healing.

the years had been kind to you, and as you continued to create, to tell stories that moved and inspired, you found that the pain of the past had become a source of strength, rather than a burden. you had taken the darkest chapters of your life and turned them into art, into something that could touch the hearts of others and remind them that there was always hope, even in the face of loss.

but you were not the only one who had found success in the years that followed your breakup with taeyong. he, too, had risen to the heights of his potential, carving out a name for himself in the world of acting. he had always possessed a natural talent, a charisma that drew people to him, both on and off the screen. his presence was magnetic, his performances imbued with a raw intensity that captivated audiences. he had a way of slipping into his roles, of becoming the characters he portrayed, with a depth that left those who watched him breathless.

you heard about his success in the way one might hear about the weather—a constant, ever-present topic of conversation among those in your circle. his name was on the lips of critics and fans alike, his face gracing the covers of magazines, his performances earning him accolades and awards.

there was one film, in particular, that catapulted him into the spotlight, a gritty drama that required him to delve into the darkest recesses of the human experience. it was a role that demanded everything from him, both physically and emotionally, and he delivered with a performance that was nothing short of transformative.

as you watched the film, you couldn’t help but be struck by how far he had come, how much he had grown since those days when the two of you had been just a couple of kids with big dreams. he had taken the raw potential that you had always seen in him and honed it into something extraordinary.

his eyes, those same eyes that had once looked at you with so much love, now held a depth of emotion that spoke of experience, of a life lived and lessons learned. he was no longer the boy you had loved; he was a man who had faced his demons and come out stronger for it. in interviews, he spoke with the same quiet confidence that you remembered, but there was a wisdom in his words now, a maturity that came from the years that had passed. “acting is more than just pretending,” he once said during a particularly poignant interview. “it’s about understanding, about feeling deeply and sharing that with the world. it’s about connection.”

you couldn’t help but smile as you listened to him speak, recognizing the passion in his voice, the same passion that had driven you both to pursue your dreams. he had found his place in the world, just as you had found yours, and though your paths had diverged, there was a sense of pride in knowing that you had both made it.

the years had changed you both, in ways that were both subtle and profound. but as you reflected on all that had happened, on the successes and the sorrows, you realized that there was no regret in your heart. the love you had shared with him had been beautiful in its time, and though it had ended, it had left you both with something invaluable—a strength that carried you through the darkest times, and a determination to succeed, no matter the obstacles. and so, you continued to create, to inspire, to tell stories that mattered. and somewhere out there, taeyong did the same, each of you living the life that you had once dreamed of, finding your place in the world, and knowing that, in some way, you would always be connected by the memories of a love that had shaped you both.

the world had always been a stage for taeyong, a place where he could perform, transform, and transcend the boundaries of the ordinary. the lights, the cameras, the applause—these were the constants in his life, the elements that shaped him and gave him purpose. yet behind the scenes, away from the adoring fans and the glittering awards, there were moments that never made it to the silver screen. moments where the performance slipped, and reality seeped in, raw and unforgiving.

it was a day like any other, the sun bright against the city skyline, casting long shadows that danced along the pavement. taeyong found himself at the doctor's office, a place that had become all too familiar over the past few months. he had always been diligent about his health, keeping up with his annual check-ups, even when his schedule was packed. but this visit carried a weight that he had been trying to ignore, a heaviness that settled in his chest as he sat in the waiting room, flipping through a magazine without really seeing the pages.

when the nurse called his name, he stood, his movements fluid, graceful—an actor slipping into a role. he followed her down the hallway, past the sterile walls and closed doors, until they reached the examination room. the nurse smiled at him, a practiced, polite smile, before leaving him to wait.

and so he waited, the seconds stretching into minutes, each one a reminder of why he was here. he looked around the room, at the medical posters on the walls, the jars of tongue depressors and cotton balls, the examination table covered in crisp white paper. it all felt surreal, like a scene in one of his films, only this time there was no script, no director to call cut.

finally, the door opened, and doctor kim entered, his expression calm and measured, though taeyong could see the strain behind his eyes. they had known each other for years, the doctor having been a constant in his life, someone who had seen him through the ups and downs of his career, who had celebrated his successes and supported him through the tough times.

“taeyong,” the doctor greeted him with a nod, taking a seat at his desk. he pulled out a file, flipping it open and scanning the contents before looking up. “how have you been feeling?”

he leaned back in his chair, crossing one leg over the other, his smile easy, though it didn’t reach his eyes. “good, i suppose. busy, as always. the new project’s been keeping me on my toes.”

the doctor nodded, though his focus remained on the file in front of him. he let out a quiet sigh, closing the folder with a soft snap. “taeyong, we need to talk about your test results.” there it was, the moment he had been dreading, the words he had hoped he would never have to hear again. he kept his expression neutral, though his heart pounded in his chest. “has it gotten worse?” he asked, his voice steady, but there was a tension there, a crack beneath the surface.

the doctor's gaze softened, and taeyong could see the sadness in his eyes, the weight of what he had to say. “i’m afraid so,” he replied quietly. “the cancer has spread.”

the words hung in the air, heavy and oppressive, pressing down on taeyong’s shoulders like a physical force. he swallowed hard, his throat tight, but he didn’t let his composure falter. “well,” he said, forcing a smile, “i guess that’ll make for an interesting documentary, don’t you think? the story of an actor battling against the odds. it’s got drama, emotion, everything a good film needs.”

but the attempt at levity fell flat, the joke hollow in the face of reality. doctor kim didn’t smile. instead, he leaned forward, his voice gentle, full of compassion. “taeyong, i’m so sorry. i know this isn’t what you wanted to hear.” for a moment, he couldn’t find the words. he stared at the floor, his vision blurring at the edges as the reality of the situation crashed down on him. the dreams he had, the plans for the future—all of it suddenly felt fragile, like glass that could shatter with the slightest touch.

he had always been in control, always the one who called the shots, who decided how his story would be told. but now, now he was faced with something that he couldn’t direct, something that wouldn’t follow the script he had written for himself.

“i thought i had more time,” he finally murmured, his voice barely above a whisper. “i thought, i could beat this.”

despite it all, he managed a weak smile, though his mind was already racing, trying to process what this meant for him, for his career, for the life he had built. he had always been a fighter, someone who never gave up, no matter how tough the battle. but now, it felt like a war he wasn’t sure he could win.

the studio was your sanctuary, a place where creativity flowed freely and the boundaries of reality blurred into the world of film. the walls were lined with storyboards, sketches, and notes, each one a fragment of a story waiting to be told. the room was filled with the soft hum of computers, the quiet rustling of papers, and the muted conversations of your team as they worked diligently on the myriad of projects you had taken on.

you stood in the center of it all, surrounded by the familiar chaos, yet your mind was already elsewhere, lost in the labyrinth of ideas that always seemed to pull you in a hundred different directions. the morning light filtered through the large windows, casting a warm glow over the space, but you barely noticed, too engrossed in the task at hand—a script that demanded your attention, characters that needed your voice to bring them to life.

“hey, boss,” a voice broke through your concentration, and you looked up to see one of your team members standing at the door, a hesitant smile on her face. “got a minute?” you sighed, setting the script down on the cluttered table and running a hand through your hair. “barely,” you replied with a weary smile. “i’m buried under a mountain of work, but go on. what’s up?”

the team member exchanged glances with the others in the room, a silent communication passing between them before she stepped further into the studio. “we’ve got a new project for you,” she said, her tone careful, as if she was choosing her words with great precision. you raised an eyebrow, curiosity piqued despite your earlier protest. “a new project?” you repeated, leaning back against the table and crossing your arms. “you know how swamped i am. i’ve got deadlines looming, scripts to revise, not to mention the festival coming up. i’m not sure i can take on anything else right now.”

“i know, i know,” she said quickly, holding up her hands in a placating gesture. “but this, this is something you can’t pass up. trust me.” your interest was definitely piqued now. she knew you well enough to understand that you didn’t take on just any project, especially when your plate was already full. if she was pushing this, it had to be something special. “alright,” you said slowly, eyeing her with a mixture of suspicion and intrigue. “what’s the project?”

she hesitated for just a moment, and you could see the flicker of something—concern, maybe—in her eyes before she spoke again. “it’s a documentary,” she began, choosing her words carefully. “about a famous actor, and his battle with cancer.”

her words hung in the air, heavy and unexpected. you blinked, trying to process what she had just said. it wasn’t the first time you’d been approached with a project like this—after all, your reputation as a filmmaker was built on your ability to tell stories that resonated deeply with people, stories that touched on the raw, human experiences of life. but something about this particular proposal struck a chord within you, a sense of déjà vu that you couldn’t quite shake.

“a documentary about an actor’s battle with cancer?” you repeated, your voice softer now, tinged with the gravity of the subject. “that’s certainly an interesting proposal.” there was a brief silence as your team watched you closely, gauging your reaction, waiting to see if you would take the bait. and how could you not? this was the kind of story that could change lives, that could bring hope to others in the same situation. it was the kind of story that needed to be told, and you knew you had the skills and the sensitivity to tell it in the way it deserved.

“so,” your team member continued, her voice a little more confident now, “what do you think? are you up for it?” you let out a slow breath, your mind already racing with the possibilities, the ideas that were starting to take shape. the weight of the project was immense, but it was also an opportunity—one that you knew you couldn’t walk away from. this was why you had become a filmmaker in the first place: to tell stories that mattered, stories that could make a difference.

you met her gaze, a resolve settling over you as you nodded. “yeah,” you said, your voice firm with decision. “i’m up for it. let’s do it.”

there was a collective sigh of relief from your team, and the tension in the room eased as smiles spread across their faces. “great,” she said, her smile wide and genuine. “i’ll set up the meeting as soon as possible. you won’t regret this.”

you nodded again, though your thoughts were already elsewhere, your mind drifting to the story you were about to embark on, the life you were about to explore and capture on film. there was something about this project that felt different, something that tugged at the edges of your consciousness, a sense that this was more than just another film—it was a story that was somehow personal, though you couldn’t quite place why.

the house was quiet, an eerie stillness filling the space as taeyong stood in the center of his living room. the sun had dipped below the horizon, casting long shadows that danced across the walls, their movements gentle and unassuming. the room was warm, lit by the soft glow of the fireplace, its flames crackling quietly, adding a touch of life to the otherwise somber atmosphere.

his gaze was distant, his thoughts miles away, lost in the labyrinth of memories and the weight of the present. he had always been a man who carried his burdens silently, his struggles hidden behind a charming smile and a confident demeanor. but tonight, there was a heaviness to him, a sense of finality that clung to the air, making the room feel smaller, suffocating.

mark stood by his side, his eyes filled with concern as he watched his boss, his friend, grapple with the silent battle he had been waging for months now. taeyong’s health had been declining slowly, the cancer spreading with a relentless determination, yet he had never once allowed it to break him. he had continued to work, to smile, to laugh as if everything was fine. but mark knew better. he could see the toll it was taking on him, the exhaustion that was starting to seep into his bones, the way his eyes seemed dimmer, less vibrant.

“are you alright?” mark’s voice was soft, hesitant, as if he was afraid to disturb the fragile peace that hung in the air. taeyong didn’t turn to look at him, his eyes still fixed on the flames that danced before him. “never been better,” he replied, his tone light, almost nonchalant. but there was an edge to his voice, a hint of something darker that he couldn’t quite mask.

mark’s brow furrowed, a frown tugging at his lips as he tried to make sense of his words. he had always admired taeyong’s ability to stay positive, to find the silver lining in even the darkest of situations, but this—this felt different. there was something unsettling about the way he spoke, as if he had accepted his fate, as if he was ready to let go.

“the cancer,” taeyong continued, his voice calm, almost detached, “despite its slow murder, is a good chance for my career to reach its peak.”

mark’s heart clenched at the words, a cold chill running down his spine. how could he say such a thing? how could he talk about his own death with such casual indifference? mark shook his head, trying to push the thought away, trying to ignore the fear that was beginning to coil in his chest.

“boss,” mark began, his voice trembling slightly, but he quickly caught himself, forcing a steadiness he didn’t feel. “don’t say that. you’re going to make it. you’ll beat this.” taeyong didn’t respond, his silence heavy, filled with unspoken thoughts and unacknowledged fears. he stepped away from the fireplace, his feet moving almost instinctively towards the mantle where several framed photographs were arranged neatly, each one a snapshot of a moment in time, a piece of his past carefully preserved behind glass.

he paused in front of the mantle, his eyes scanning the photos, memories flooding his mind as he took in the images—his parents, his friends, moments of triumph and joy. but there was one photograph that drew his attention, one that seemed to pull him in with a force he couldn’t resist. it was a picture of you and him, taken years ago when the world seemed so much simpler, so full of promise.

you were both smiling in the photo, your eyes bright with laughter, your arm looped through his as if you were afraid to let go. it was a candid shot, one taken during a summer festival, the two of you surrounded by the vibrant colors of the fair, the warmth of the day captured in the curve of your lips and the softness of your gaze. taeyong’s fingers reached out, brushing lightly against the glass, tracing the outline of your face, the curve of your smile, as if by touching the image, he could somehow bring you back, relive that moment just once more. there was a sadness in his eyes now, a longing that he couldn’t quite put into words.

mark watched him in silence, his heart aching for his best friend, for the man who had once been so full of life and energy, who had always faced the world with an unbreakable spirit. he could see the pain that he was trying so hard to hide, the sorrow that he kept locked away, refusing to let it show, refusing to let it consume him. “you’re going to make it,” mark repeated, his voice barely above a whisper, as if saying the words quietly would make them true, would somehow protect taeyong from the cruel hand that fate had dealt him.

his hand stilled on the photograph, his gaze lingering on your face, on the memory of what you had once been to each other. there was so much he wanted to say, so much he wanted to tell you, but the words were caught in his throat, trapped by the knowledge that it was too late, that those moments were gone, that the life he had envisioned for himself, for the two of you, had slipped through his fingers like sand.

“smile for me,” he whispered to the photo, the words so quiet that they barely reached mark’s ears. it was a request, a plea for something that he could no longer have, for the joy that had been taken from him, for the love that he had lost.

the morning sun filtered through the sheer curtains of your apartment, casting a soft, golden light across the room. you sat at the edge of your bed, your fingers idly twisting the delicate silver chain that hung around your neck. the pendant, a simple charm that had once meant the world to you, was cool against your skin, a reminder of a time long past.

today was a day you had been preparing for, though you hadn’t known it. a part of you had been waiting for this moment, whether consciously or not. you had been told this was a career-defining opportunity, a project that could cement your place in the industry. but as you sat there, staring at your reflection in the mirror, you couldn’t help but feel the tight knot of anxiety in your stomach, the unease that had been building ever since you first heard the name of the actor you were about to meet.

“focus,” you whispered to yourself, your voice barely more than a breath. you had come so far, had worked so hard to get here. this was your moment. you were a successful filmmaker, your documentaries praised for their depth, their emotional resonance. you had built a career on capturing the raw, unfiltered truth of human experience. and yet, the truth of what you were feeling now was something you weren’t sure you were ready to face.

you stood and walked over to the wardrobe, pulling out a simple, yet elegant, outfit. something professional, but not too formal—a reminder that while this was work, it was also personal, far more personal than anything you had ever done before. as you dressed, you went over the plan in your mind, rehearsing the questions you wanted to ask, the tone you wanted to set. you had to be calm, composed, professional. but above all, you had to be respectful. this was someone’s life, someone’s struggle that you were about to document. you needed to handle it with the care and sensitivity it deserved.

you inhaled deeply, trying to steady the trembling in your hands. “it’s just another project,” you told yourself, though the words felt hollow, like a mantra you didn’t quite believe. you shook your head, pushing the thoughts away, focusing instead on the task at hand. this was about the work, about telling a story that needed to be told.

when you arrived at the studio, your manager greeted you with a warm smile. “he’ll be here soon,” she assured you, her tone light, as if this were just another day at the office. you nodded, your expression calm, though inside, you were anything but. you tried to imagine how the conversation would go, the questions you would ask, the answers he might give. you wanted to make sure that you approached him with the respect he deserved, whoever he was. this wasn’t about you, or the past. this was about him, about his story.

you were so lost in thought that you didn’t hear the door open, didn’t notice the figure that walked into the room until it was too late. the air seemed to shift, the room growing heavier as if time itself had slowed. when you finally looked up, your breath caught in your throat. there he was, standing just a few feet away, his presence as commanding as ever. your heart pounded in your chest, your pulse racing as you took him in, the years that had passed between you falling away in an instant.

he hadn’t changed. not really. he was older, yes, his features more defined, more mature, but the essence of him was still the same. the same sharp eyes, the same confident posture, the same warmth in his smile that had once made you feel like you were the only person in the world. but now, that smile was tinged with something else, something sadder, something that spoke of battles fought and lost, of a life that had been lived, but not without cost. and then he saw you.

his gaze locked onto yours, and for a moment, the world seemed to stop. the air between you was electric, charged with the weight of all that had been left unsaid, all the memories that had been buried but never forgotten. you saw the flicker of recognition in his eyes, the way his breath hitched, the way his expression softened, just for a moment, before he schooled his features back into that same calm, controlled mask he always wore.

but it was too late. you had seen it. the way his eyes had widened, the way his shoulders had tensed, the way his lips had parted, just slightly, as if he wanted to say something but didn’t know how. he hadn’t changed a bit, you thought, your heart aching with the realization. he was still the same boy you had fallen in love with all those years ago, still the same person who had once held your heart in his hands. but there was something else there now, something deeper, something that spoke of pain and loss and the kind of strength that could only come from enduring both.

for a moment, you didn’t know what to do, what to say. the room felt too small, the air too thick, and all you could do was stare at him, your mind racing, your emotions a whirlwind of confusion and longing and fear. taeyong, for his part, didn’t say anything either. he just stood there, his eyes locked on yours, as if he couldn’t quite believe that you were real, that after all these years, after everything that had happened, you were standing in front of him again.

and as you stood there, frozen in place, you couldn’t help but think how much prettier you had gotten. the years had been kind to you, had softened the edges of your beauty, had added a depth to your eyes, a grace to your movements that hadn’t been there before. he could see the strength in you, the resilience that had carried you through the years, through the pain and the loss and the heartache. but he also saw the vulnerability, the way your hands trembled just slightly, the way your breath hitched when you saw him. and it broke his heart, because he knew that he had put that there, that he was the reason you had learned to guard your heart so carefully, to protect yourself from the kind of pain that had once torn you apart.

the silence stretched on, thick and heavy, until it was finally broken by the soft clearing of a throat. your manager, sensing the tension, quickly made an excuse, something about giving you both some privacy, and with a few hurried words, she ushered the rest of the staff out of the room, leaving you and taeyong alone.

you sat across from him, the space between you feeling like an ocean of memories and emotions that neither of you could fully navigate. the small table in the center of the room was the only thing that separated you, yet it felt like a chasm. both of you were still stunned, your hearts beating in sync with the silence that enveloped the room.

you took a deep breath, trying to steady yourself, but the words tumbled out before you could catch them. “of all people,” you whispered, your voice thick with emotion, “i didn’t expect to see you.”

taeyong’s smile was small, almost wistful, as he looked at you. his eyes, though still bright with that familiar spark, held a depth of sorrow that hadn’t been there before. “it’s been a long time,” he replied, his voice softer than you remembered, tinged with something you couldn’t quite place. the pieces began to click in your mind, the realization slowly dawning on you as you recalled the brief your team had given you—the documentary about an actor’s battle with cancer. the words had seemed almost abstract then, just another story to tell, but now, with taeyong sitting in front of you, they took on a weight that made your heart swell with a mixture of pain and empathy. he was the actor. he was the one fighting for his life.

his smile grew a little, though it didn’t reach his eyes. “you’ve gotten prettier,” he said, his voice carrying a note of admiration, but also of something unspoken, a sadness that lingered in the air between you. you couldn’t help the sad smile that tugged at your lips as you responded, “you look as good as ever.” but even as you said it, you noticed the subtle changes in him, the way his clothes seemed to hang just a little too loosely on his frame, the pallor of his skin, the slight tremor in his hands that he tried to hide.

he tilted his head slightly, studying you with those same piercing eyes that had once seen right through you, had once made you feel like you were the only person in the world who mattered. “how’ve you been?” he asked, his voice gentle, as if he was afraid of the answer. you hesitated, your heart constricting in your chest as memories of the past few years flashed through your mind. “it’s been rough,” you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper. the loss of your sister, the breakup that had shattered your heart, the long, lonely nights spent trying to piece yourself back together—it all came rushing back in a wave of emotion that threatened to overwhelm you.

“and you?” you asked, your voice trembling with the weight of your concern, though you already knew the answer. “how have you been?”

taeyong’s smile faltered, and for a moment, you saw the truth written on his face—the exhaustion, the pain, the fight he was barely holding onto. “i’ve seen better days,” he confessed, his voice tinged with a resignation that made your heart ache. it was only then that you truly saw him, really saw him—the fragility in his posture, the way his shoulders slumped slightly as if carrying the weight of the world, the way his skin seemed almost translucent in the harsh lighting of the room. he looked like a shadow of the person you once knew, a ghost of the man who had once stood so tall, so strong. the sight of him, so frail, so vulnerable, sent a pang of sorrow through you that you couldn’t suppress.

your vision blurred as tears welled up in your eyes, and you struggled to keep them at bay. “i leave, and you get sick on me,” you murmured, your voice cracking with the effort to keep your emotions in check. “how’s that fair?”

taeyong’s smile was sad, a reflection of the pain he saw in your eyes. he reached out, his hand hovering over the table as if he wanted to comfort you, but then he hesitated, pulling back slightly. “don’t worry about me,” he said softly, his voice carrying a gentle reassurance that only made the tears in your eyes spill over. you wiped at your eyes, trying to compose yourself, but the overwhelming reality of the situation was too much to bear. the person who had once been your everything was now facing a battle you couldn’t even begin to fathom, and you felt utterly helpless.

he paused, his gaze fixed on you, as if he was memorizing every detail of your face, every expression, every flicker of emotion. “you have a documentary to work on,” he reminded you gently, his voice steady, though you could hear the strain beneath it. you nodded, swallowing the lump in your throat as you tried to push down the flood of emotions threatening to consume you. “yeah,” you whispered, your voice trembling. “i guess i do.”

but even as you said the words, you knew that this was more than just a project, more than just another film to add to your portfolio. this was taeyong’s story, his life, and the thought of capturing something so personal, so painful, filled you with a sense of dread you couldn’t shake.

he smiled again, that same sad, knowing smile, as if he could read every thought that crossed your mind. “it’s okay,” he said, his voice soothing. “we’ll get through this. together.” the word “together” hung in the air between you, a reminder of all that had been lost, but also of all that still remained. despite everything, despite the years that had passed and the pain that had followed, there was still something between you, something that time and distance hadn’t been able to erase.

taeyong glanced at the clock on the wall, the faint ticking echoing in the quiet room. the moment stretched out, heavy with unspoken words and lingering emotions. you could feel the time slipping away, each second pulling him further from you. he began to rise slowly, his movements careful and deliberate, as if he was mindful of every breath he took.

his eyes flickered to yours, and you caught the briefest glimpse of hesitation, a flicker of something deeper that he quickly masked with a soft smile. you knew he was about to leave, and the thought sent a ripple of panic through you—a fear that this might be the last time you'd have him this close, the last time you could reach out and touch the memories that still bound you together.

before you could stop yourself, the words tumbled out, desperate and unguarded. “would you like to discuss the details over coffee?” he paused, his eyes widening slightly as he took in your request. for a moment, you thought he might refuse, that the careful distance he was trying to maintain would hold, keeping the fragile walls between you intact. but then, his smile softened, melting into something genuine, something warm that reminded you of the boy you once knew.

“i’d love to,” he murmured, his voice tender, as if the mere act of agreeing to your offer was a kindness you couldn’t fully comprehend. his eyes, now shining with a mix of nostalgia and affection, locked onto yours, and in that moment, the distance between you seemed to shrink just a little.

together, you left the room, the tension easing with each step as the familiarity of your presence beside him settled into something more comfortable, more natural. the hallway outside was dimly lit, the muted colors adding a softness to the surroundings that matched the quiet emotions hanging between you. you walked in silence, neither of you needing to fill the space with idle chatter. it wasn’t long before you found a small, cozy coffee shop tucked away on a quiet street corner, its warm glow inviting you both in from the cool evening air. the bell above the door jingled softly as you entered, the sound somehow grounding you in the moment.

taeyong held the door open for you, his eyes never leaving yours as you stepped inside. the rich aroma of freshly brewed coffee enveloped you, mingling with the faint scent of pastries and the low hum of quiet conversation from the few patrons scattered throughout the shop. the space was intimate, with dark wood tables and soft lighting that cast a gentle, golden hue over everything. it was the kind of place that felt like a secret, a hidden gem where time seemed to slow down.

he gestured toward a corner table by the window, where the light from a single candle flickered, casting delicate shadows on the polished wood. you nodded, making your way over to the table, the soft cushion of the chair sinking slightly under your weight as you sat down. he followed suit, his movements unhurried, as if savoring the simplicity of the moment. as he took the seat across from you, the candlelight caught the edges of his features, highlighting the sharp lines of his jaw and the soft curve of his lips. he looked at you, and for a moment, it felt as though the years between you had melted away, leaving only the two of you, here and now.

when the waitress came to take your order, you hesitated, unsure if he would remember. but before you could speak, taeyong smiled up at her, his expression calm and certain. “two caramel macchiatos,” he said, his voice gentle but firm. “one with extra foam, the other with just a hint of cinnamon on top.”

your breath caught in your throat as you stared at him, the familiarity of the order sending a rush of warmth through you. he still remembered. after all these years, after all the distance that had grown between you, he remembered your favorite coffee, right down to the smallest detail. the waitress nodded, scribbling down the order before disappearing behind the counter. for a moment, you just looked at him, your heart swelling with a bittersweet kind of joy. the fact that he remembered something so trivial, something you had always considered your little indulgence, felt like a small miracle in the vastness of everything that had changed.

he met your gaze, his eyes reflecting the flickering candlelight, and he smiled—a real, unguarded smile that crinkled the corners of his eyes and softened the lines of his face. “some things you just don’t forget,” he murmured, his voice carrying a quiet sincerity that wrapped around your heart like a comforting embrace. the words hung in the air between you, a gentle reminder of the connection you once shared. the silence that followed wasn’t heavy or uncomfortable, but rather, it was filled with a kind of understanding, an acknowledgment of all the things that had been left unsaid over the years.

when the drinks arrived, his smile widened as he slid yours across the table, the extra foam creating a delicate swirl in the amber liquid. you wrapped your hands around the warm cup, letting the heat seep into your skin, grounding you in the present moment.

the first sip was familiar, comforting, and you couldn’t help the small sigh of contentment that escaped your lips. he watched you with an expression of quiet satisfaction, as if your enjoyment of something so simple brought him a sense of peace. for a while, the two of you simply sipped your coffee, the world outside the window blurring into the background as the evening darkened. you talked about small things—work, mutual acquaintances, the latest films—but the conversation flowed easily, naturally, as though no time had passed since you last sat together like this.

but underneath the casual conversation, there was a current of deeper emotion, an unspoken acknowledgment of the elephant in the room. you could feel it in the way his gaze occasionally lingered on you, as if he was trying to memorize every detail of your face, every subtle shift in your expression. eventually, the conversation quieted, and the silence that followed was different—more charged, more significant. his eyes softened as he looked at you, and he reached across the table, his fingers brushing lightly against yours.

“i missed this,” he admitted softly, his voice almost a whisper, as if the words were too fragile to be spoken aloud. his thumb traced a gentle line across the back of your hand, the touch sending a shiver down your spine. you looked down at your intertwined fingers, the sight so familiar, so right, that it made your chest ache with a longing you hadn’t realized you were still holding onto. “i did too,” you whispered back, your voice trembling with the weight of the truth behind the words.

the warmth of his hand was a balm against the coldness that had settled in your heart over the years, and for a moment, you allowed yourself to believe that maybe, just maybe, the chasm between you could be bridged. that somehow, despite everything, you could find your way back to the place where you had once been so close. as you sat there, the candlelight casting soft shadows on the walls, you realized that this moment—this simple, quiet moment—was more precious than anything you could have imagined. it was a reminder that no matter how much time had passed, no matter how much had changed, there was still something between you. something worth holding onto.

the coffee shop door swung shut behind you, the faint chime of the bell ringing in your ears as you and taeyong stepped out into the cool night air. the evening had settled in fully now, the sky a deep canvas of indigo, speckled with stars that flickered faintly against the darkness. you shivered slightly, though whether from the chill or from the weight of everything unspoken between you, you couldn’t tell.

he walked beside you, his hands tucked into the pockets of his coat, his breath forming small clouds in the cold air. the silence between you was thick with the lingering warmth of your time together, but also with the unshakable reality that this moment was coming to an end. the streets were quiet, the usual bustle of the city muted as if the world itself had paused to allow you these last few moments together.

when you reached the corner where you would part ways, taeyong stopped and turned to face you. the soft glow of a nearby streetlamp cast a halo of light around him, illuminating the sharp planes of his face, the softness in his eyes that he hadn’t quite hidden from you tonight. he seemed to hesitate, his gaze searching yours for something—perhaps the words he didn’t know how to say, or the strength to hold back what he truly felt.

“thank you,” he finally said, his voice low and sincere. his eyes never left yours, and you could see the depth of his gratitude, the silent plea that you understood how much tonight had meant to him. “for everything. for the coffee, for listening, for just being here.”

you nodded, the lump in your throat making it impossible to speak. you wanted to say so much—to tell him how much you had missed this, how much you wished things could be different, how much you still cared—but the words felt too heavy, too vulnerable to voice. instead, you just stood there, your heart aching with the knowledge that you were once again saying goodbye to the boy who had once meant everything to you.

he smiled, a sad, bittersweet curve of his lips that made your chest tighten painfully. “i'll see you tomorrow,” he murmured, his eyes holding yours for a long moment, as if trying to convey all the things he couldn’t bring himself to say out loud. “take care,” you whispered back, your voice barely audible over the sound of your own heartbeat, which seemed to echo loudly in the quiet night.

he took a step back, hesitated, then stepped forward again and wrapped his arms around you in a tight, warm embrace. you closed your eyes, sinking into the familiar comfort of his arms, letting yourself hold on for just a little bit longer. the scent of his cologne, the warmth of his body against yours—it all felt so heartbreakingly familiar, and yet so distant, as if this moment was something you were meant to remember, not live.

when he finally pulled away, you felt the loss acutely, as if a part of you had been torn away with him. he offered you one last smile, one last lingering look, before turning and walking away, his figure slowly disappearing into the darkness of the night. you watched him go, your heart heavy with the realization that you didn’t know when—or if—you would ever see him again.

once he was out of sight, you finally turned and started the walk home. the streets were empty, save for the occasional car passing by, the world around you quiet and still. your footsteps echoed softly against the pavement, the only sound accompanying the whirlwind of thoughts racing through your mind.

by the time you reached your front door, your hands were trembling. you fumbled with the keys, the cold metal slipping between your fingers as you tried to fit the key into the lock. it took longer than it should have, but finally, the door clicked open, and you stepped inside. the warmth of your home greeted you, but it did nothing to chase away the cold that had settled deep within you. the silence here was different—heavier, more oppressive. it pressed down on you as you closed the door behind you, the finality of it ringing in your ears.

you took a few steps into the living room, your eyes scanning the familiar space without really seeing it. everything felt surreal, as if you were moving through a dream, one where you were painfully aware of how it would end. and then, as if the weight of it all had finally become too much, your knees buckled, and you sank to the floor. the tears came suddenly, without warning, spilling down your cheeks in hot, uncontrollable waves. you pressed your hands to your face, trying to stifle the sobs that tore from your throat, but it was no use. the dam had broken, and there was no stopping the flood.

you cried for everything—for the boy who had once been your everything, for the man he had become, for the distance that had grown between you over the years, for the love that still lingered, unspoken and unresolved. you cried for the memories that haunted you, for the pain of seeing him again, for the fear that this might truly be the end. your sobs echoed through the empty room, the sound raw and anguished, a release of all the emotions you had been holding back for so long. the reality of his situation, the knowledge that he was facing something you couldn’t fix, something you couldn’t protect him from—it all came crashing down on you, overwhelming you with a grief so deep, you could hardly breathe.

you stayed like that for what felt like hours, curled up on the floor, your body wracked with sobs until there were no more tears left to cry. the exhaustion that followed was bone-deep, leaving you drained and empty, a hollow shell of yourself. eventually, the tears subsided, leaving only a dull ache in their wake. you were too tired to move, too tired to do anything but lay there, the coolness of the floor pressing against your cheek, grounding you in the present. your breathing slowed, your sobs fading into quiet, shaky breaths as you finally began to slip into the darkness of sleep.

the following morning, you woke with the remnants of your tears still damp on your cheeks, the pain of the previous night still a heavy presence in your heart. you moved through the motions of your morning routine with mechanical precision, the hollow weight of grief settling deep within you. despite your efforts to compose yourself, your eyes were still red and swollen, the telltale signs of a night spent in anguish.

when you arrived at the studio where you were scheduled to meet taeyong, you tried to ignore the way your reflection in the glass doors revealed the exhaustion etched into your features. the bustling energy of the set did little to mask your own emotional turmoil as you prepared for another day of filming. he was already there, looking remarkably composed in contrast to the chaotic state you felt inside. he greeted you with that familiar smile, but it faltered just slightly as he took in the sight of you. his eyes softened with concern, a depth of empathy in his gaze that was all too familiar.

“hey,” he said, his voice gentle as he approached you. “you look tired. surely, you haven’t been crying because of me?” you tried to muster a reassuring smile, but it felt strained and weak. “oh, no,” you said quickly, your voice betraying the lie. “i’ve just been restless. Iit’s nothing, really.”

his expression remained skeptical, but he chose not to press further. “if you say so,” he said, though his eyes lingered on you with a hint of worry. “let’s get started. we’ve got a lot to cover today.”

the morning passed in a blur of activity as you worked together, setting up the cameras, adjusting the lights, and preparing for the next segment of the documentary. he was, as always, a professional, his presence commanding and charismatic even in the face of the vulnerability he was about to share. but today, the process felt more poignant, more bittersweet. each moment of film captured was a moment of his life that was both being documented and slowly slipping away.

as you filmed, taeyong spoke candidly about his journey with cancer. his voice was steady, but beneath the surface, there was a current of raw emotion. “it started with just a bit of fatigue,” he recounted, his eyes distant as he looked at the camera. “then came the pain, and before i knew it, it was everywhere. the treatments, they’re brutal. sometimes, i wonder if the cure is worse than the disease.”

his words were measured, but each one carried the weight of his suffering. the room was filled with the soft hum of the camera, and every so often, taeyong would glance over at you, as if checking to see if you were still there, still listening. his stories were filled with moments of strength and despair, the two coexisting in a delicate balance that left you feeling both heartbroken and inspired.

at one point, he began to talk about the impact of his illness on his personal life. he spoke about the relationships that had faltered, the friends who had drifted away. “people say they want to be there for you,” he said, his voice trembling slightly. “but it’s hard to be around someone who’s constantly fighting a losing battle. i understand why they pull away. i wouldn’t want to be around me either.”

your eyes filled with tears as he spoke, and you struggled to maintain your composure. the pain in his voice, the vulnerability he exposed—it was all too much. the camera kept rolling, capturing the raw honesty of his words, but you could no longer hold back the tears. they spilled over, running down your cheeks as you tried to stifle the sobs that escaped from your throat.

taeyong noticed immediately. he paused, his gaze shifting from the camera to you, his expression a mix of concern and sadness. “are you okay?” he asked, his voice gentle but laced with worry. “do you need a break?” you shook your head, though your sobs were still audible. “i’m sorry,” you managed to say through your tears. “i didn’t mean to—”

he moved quickly to your side, his hand reaching out to touch your arm with a comforting warmth. “hey, it’s alright,” he said softly. “you don’t have to apologize. this is hard for me too. i understand.”

he took a deep breath, his own eyes shining with unshed tears. “i know it’s difficult,” he contonued, his voice cracking slightly. “i don’t have much time left, but i want to make the most of it. i want to spend the time i have left with you.” you looked up at him, your heart aching as you saw the sincerity in his eyes. “taeyong, i—”

he cut you off gently, placing a hand over yours. “let’s make a pact,” he said, his voice resolute despite the tears that glistened in his eyes. “let’s spend as much time together as we can. we’ll make these moments count.” you nodded, the weight of his words sinking deep into your heart. “i’d like that,” you whispered, your voice barely above a breath.

he squeezed your hand reassuringly. “good,” he said, his own tears now flowing freely. “because i need you here with me. more than you know.” the two of you sat there for a while, holding each other in the quiet aftermath of your shared tears. the pain and sorrow were still present, but there was also a sense of connection, of understanding that transcended words. you both knew that the road ahead would be difficult, but in that moment, there was solace in the promise of being there for one another.

you and taeyong honored your pact with a quiet determination that bordered on sacred. the days became a collection of moments, each one more precious than the last, as you spent your time together creating memories that you both knew would one day be the echoes of what once was. the camera was your constant companion, always present but never intrusive, capturing the essence of taeyong as you saw him—strong, vulnerable, endlessly human.

in those weeks, you and him were inseparable, the lines between filmmaker and subject blurring until they no longer mattered. the only difference was the camera, but even that became an extension of your bond, a way to immortalize the fleeting beauty of each day you spent together.

you filmed everything—his quiet moments of introspection, the laughter you shared, the way his eyes crinkled when he smiled, the way he moved with a grace that belied the weight he carried. you wanted to capture it all, every nuance, every detail, so that when the time came, you would have these memories to hold onto. one afternoon, the two of you were sitting in a sun-drenched park, the warmth of the day wrapping around you like a comforting embrace. the camera rested on its tripod, focused on taeyong as he sat cross-legged on the grass, his head tilted back to catch the rays of the sun. his eyes were closed, a peaceful smile playing on his lips, and for a moment, he looked like he was simply soaking in the beauty of the world around him.

“do you ever wonder what people will remember about you?” he asked, his voice soft as he opened his eyes and turned to you. you lowered the camera, meeting his gaze. “all the time,” you admitted, your voice equally gentle. “but i’m more concerned with how i’ll remember you.”

he smiled, a bittersweet curve of his lips that tugged at your heart. “you’ll remember the good things, i hope,” he said, his tone light but with an undercurrent of sadness. “i’ll remember everything,” you replied, a lump forming in your throat. “every laugh, every tear, every moment we shared. i’ll remember the way you make the world seem brighter just by being in it.”

his eyes softened, and he reached out to take your hand in his. “you make it sound like i’m some kind of miracle,” he said, his voice laced with emotion. “you are,” you said, squeezing his hand gently. “you are to me.” the words hung between you, a quiet confession that neither of you needed to elaborate on. the depth of your connection was something that words could never fully capture, but in that moment, you both understood what you meant to each other.

as the weeks passed, you continued to film, capturing every detail of his life. there were moments when the reality of his situation would hit you both, the weight of it all pressing down like a heavy fog. but even in those moments, you found solace in each other, in the knowledge that you were not alone.

one evening, you found yourselves back in the studio, the room dimly lit by the soft glow of the overhead lights. taeyong was sitting in a chair, the camera focused on him as he spoke about his journey with cancer, his voice steady but filled with emotion. “i’ve come to terms with it,” he said, his eyes distant as he looked into the camera. “i know that my time is limited, but i’m not afraid anymore. i’ve lived a good life, and i’ve been lucky to have people who love me. that’s more than i could have ever asked for.”

you stood behind the camera, your heart aching as you listened to his words. there was a calmness in his voice, a sense of acceptance that both comforted and devastated you. but then, something shifted inside you, a desire to show the world not just the man sitting in front of the camera, but the way you saw him—the way you loved him.

without a word, you turned the camera around, adjusting the focus until it was pointed at yourself. taeyong watched you with a curious expression, his head tilted slightly as he tried to understand what you were doing. “i want everyone to see you the way i do,” you said, your voice trembling slightly as you looked into the lens. “i want them to see the man who’s strong and brave, but also the man who’s gentle and kind. i want them to see you through my eyes.”

his expression softened, his eyes filling with unshed tears as he understood the depth of your words. “you’re going to make me cry,” he whispered, his voice choked with emotion. you gave him a small, tearful smile, your heart pounding in your chest. “maybe it’s time we both let it out,” you said softly.

and then, before you could say anything more, taeyong reached out and gently cupped your face in his hands. his touch was tender, his fingers warm against your skin as he leaned in and pressed his lips to yours. the kiss was soft, sweet, and filled with a quiet desperation, as if he was trying to pour all the love he had left into that one moment. you kissed him back, your tears mingling with his as the camera captured it all—the love, the sadness, the overwhelming beauty of two souls connected in a way that transcended words.

when you finally pulled away, you were both crying, your foreheads resting against each other as you tried to catch your breath. the camera continued to roll, documenting the raw, unfiltered emotions that spilled from your hearts. “i love you,” he whispered, his voice thick with tears. “i don’t know how much time i have left, but I know i want to spend every second of it with you.”

“i love you too,” you replied, your voice breaking as you spoke the words that had been trapped inside you for so long. “and i’ll be here, right by your side, for as long as you need me.” and when the time came, when the camera was finally turned off and the lights dimmed, you knew that you had done everything you could to show the world the man you loved. the man who had changed your life, who had filled your days with a love so profound that it would linger in your heart long after the film had ended.

the days grew shorter, the light of the sun slipping through the curtains with less intensity as taeyong’s condition deteriorated. the once vibrant and hopeful man you knew was becoming increasingly elusive, his memory fading like the last echoes of a song. it was heartbreaking to witness the gradual erosion of his past, the slow unraveling of the threads that once held his identity together.

yet, even as his memory faltered, one truth remained steadfast—his love for you. it was as if, amidst the fog of confusion, the warmth of his feelings for you was a constant flame that refused to be extinguished. but with each passing day, even this seemed to be on the brink of slipping away.

one afternoon, you found yourself in the kitchen, preparing a meal with a tenderness that mirrored the affection you felt for him. the aroma of the food filled the small apartment, a comforting presence amidst the anxiety that hung in the air. you meticulously arranged the plate, hoping that a familiar taste might bring him some solace.

when you entered the room with the plate of food, taeyong was sitting in his armchair, staring vacantly at the wall. his eyes were distant, his once bright gaze now clouded with confusion. you placed the plate on the small table beside him and gently took his hand in yours. “taeyong,” you said softly, trying to catch his attention. “i made your favorite. i thought it might help you feel a bit better.”

he looked at you, but there was a moment of hesitation, a clouded recognition that struggled to pierce through the haze. his brow furrowed, and for a second, it seemed like he was trying to grasp at a fleeting memory. “i—i’m sorry,” he said, his voice trembling. “i’m trying to remember.”

you could feel the sting of tears behind your eyes as you knelt beside him, your heart breaking at the sight of his struggle. “it’s okay,” you whispered, your voice choked with emotion. “you don’t have to remember everything. just know that i’m here.” he reached for the plate, his movements slow and uncertain. as he took a bite, you watched him with a mixture of hope and sadness. he chewed slowly, his face reflecting the effort it took to recognize the taste.

with a mouthful of food, he looked at you, a tear slipping down his cheek. “i remember,” he said, his voice thick with emotion. “i remember, the taste of your cooking.”

the words hit you like a wave, a bittersweet reminder of the depth of your connection. you nodded, unable to speak as the tears streamed down your face. taeyong continued to eat, each bite accompanied by a flicker of recognition that was as precious as it was painful.

he swallowed hard, his eyes locked on yours, and with a tremor in his voice, he said, “i know your name. i do. it’s...” he faltered, the name on the tip of his tongue slipping away once more. you squeezed his hand gently, your own tears falling freely. “it’s (y/n),” you whispered.

he nodded, a small, grateful smile tugging at his lips. “yes,” he said through his tears. “(y/n).”

you held his hand tightly, the warmth of his grasp a comforting anchor amidst the storm of emotions. as he continued to eat, his tears mixed with the food, his sobs muffled by the bite of the meal. the sight of him, struggling to hold onto the fragments of his memory while still reaching out to you, was both heart-wrenching and beautiful. the camera, positioned in the corner of the room, captured the scene with an eerie silence, documenting the raw, unfiltered moments of love and loss. each frame told a story of devotion amidst the sorrow, a testament to the bond that remained even as everything else seemed to fade.

“i love you,” he whispered, his voice barely audible but carrying the weight of everything he felt. and as you nodded, your own tears still falling, you knew that no matter what else he might forget, this one truth would remain. “i love you too, taeyong,” you whispered back, your voice filled with all the emotion you couldn’t put into words.

the days seemed to blend into one another, each moment weighed down by taeyong’s increasingly distant demeanor. it had become more pronounced recently—he would lose focus mid-sentence, his gaze would drift off into the distance, and he often seemed to be fighting to recall things that once came so easily to him. the sight of his struggle was an unbearable reminder of how fleeting memories could be, and it left you with a deep-seated ache in your chest.

you had been planning this trip for some time, hoping that a change of scenery might help revive his spirits, and today seemed like the right moment to take action. as you looked at him, sitting in the living room with a distant expression, you took a deep breath and gently broached the subject.

“i think we should go on a trip,” you said softly, trying to sound casual despite the turmoil in your heart. “a change of pace might do us both some good.” he looked up from where he had been absentmindedly tracing patterns on the arm of his chair. “a trip?” he echoed, his voice tinged with curiosity and something else—perhaps a flicker of hope.

you nodded, a small, encouraging smile on your lips. “back to seoul. i thought it might be nice to revisit some places we used to go. what do you think?” a faint smile touched his lips, though it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “seoul sounds good,” he said quietly. “i’d like that.”

the journey back was a quiet one, filled with moments of introspective silence as the cityscape rolled by outside the car window. taeyong’s hand rested on his lap, and you kept your gaze fixed on the road ahead, doing your best to manage the mix of anticipation and anxiety that churned within you.

as you arrived in seoul, the city seemed to envelop you both in its familiar embrace. the streets were alive with the hum of activity, the vibrant buzz of the city a stark contrast to the somber mood that had settled over taeyong. you drove slowly, making your way to a park you both had cherished during your youth.

the park came into view, and you could see the large, welcoming expanse of green surrounded by towering trees. you parked the car and took his hand, gently guiding him out and toward the entrance. his steps were hesitant at first, but as you led him along the familiar path, you could see a flicker of recognition in his eyes.

the park was just as you remembered—an oasis of tranquility amidst the bustling city, its paths winding through lush greenery and blooming flowers. you guided him to a bench beneath a grand old oak tree, its branches stretching out like welcoming arms. the sun filtered through the leaves, casting a dappled shadow on the ground.

you sat down beside him, your heart pounding as you pulled out your camera, ready to capture the moment. “do you remember this place?” you asked, trying to keep your voice steady. he looked around, his eyes roaming the landscape with a mixture of confusion and dawning comprehension. “i think so,” he said slowly, his voice tentative. “it feels familiar.”

you smiled encouragingly, urging him to take it all in. “we used to come here all the time. we’d sit here and talk for hours. this was one of our favorite spots.” the transformation was gradual but undeniable. as taeyong took in his surroundings, a wave of recognition seemed to wash over him. his eyes grew wider, and you saw the struggle as he fought to connect the fragments of memory that were beginning to surface.

a tremor of emotion passed through him as he began to recall the days spent in this very park—the laughter, the conversations, the dreams you had shared. “i remember,” he said softly, a mixture of awe and sorrow in his voice. “i remember coming here with you. we’d sit here and talk, about everything.”

you nodded, tears welling up in your eyes as you watched him. “yes,” you whispered. “we did. and i wanted to bring you back here, because this place means so much to both of us.” he reached out, taking your hand in his, and for a moment, it was as if time had folded itself back upon itself. his touch was tender, filled with a longing that echoed the depth of his emotions. he looked at you with an expression that was both familiar and poignant.

“i’ve missed this,” he said, his voice breaking. “i’ve missed us.” you squeezed his hand, feeling a mixture of relief and heartache. “i’ve missed us too,” you replied, your voice trembling.

as you continued filming, capturing the raw and beautiful reality of the moment, his emotions seemed to overflow. he stood up slowly, his gaze locked with yours, and wrapped his arms around you. you were caught off guard by the intensity of his embrace, but you melted into it, holding him tightly. he leaned in and pressed his lips to yours in a kiss that was both tender and filled with a bittersweet intensity. the kiss was a silent testament to all the love you had shared, all the memories that you both cherished, and the reality of the present moment.

when he pulled back, his eyes were glistening with tears, and you could see the depth of his emotions reflected in his gaze. “thank you,” he whispered, his voice filled with a heartfelt gratitude. “thank you for bringing me here.” you nodded, unable to speak through the lump in your throat. Instead, you continued filming, letting the camera capture the poignancy of the moment—the way his eyes shone with love and the way you clung to each other amidst the memories and emotions that surrounded you.

the days seemed to bring a renewed sense of hope, a fragile light that flickered more brightly with each passing moment. taeyong's health appeared to be stabilizing, and the improvement, though modest, filled both of you with a cautious optimism. the treatments had begun to take effect, and his spirits were visibly lifted. he even began to joke about the future, something that had seemed almost impossible just weeks before.

the film project, which had started as a painful exploration of his battle with cancer, had come to an end. with it wrapped up, you decided it was time for the two of you to watch it together, to relive the journey and see how far you had come. you felt a mix of anticipation and anxiety as you prepared the playback.

you set up the projector in the cozy living room, dimming the lights and arranging the comfortable cushions on the floor. taeyong sat beside you, his presence a comforting anchor as you both settled in to review the film. the screen flickered to life, and the first images began to play.

as the film unfolded, you watched every moment with a mixture of tears and a wistful smile. each frame was a testament to the love and pain you had shared, the highs and lows of the journey that had brought you closer together. the scenes of his struggle, his strength, and the tender moments between you both played out before your eyes. the footage captured his vulnerability, his laughter, and the quiet moments of reflection.

his face was a canvas of emotions as he watched the film, his expression shifting from sadness to nostalgia, and then to a gentle smile. he leaned his head against your shoulder, seeking comfort in your presence as the film continued. you could feel the warmth of his breath against your skin, a small solace in the midst of the emotional whirlwind.

you turned to look at him, only to find his eyes closed, his face serene yet pale. the sight of him resting so peacefully, so vulnerably, sent a pang of anxiety through your heart. you reached out, gently brushing a strand of hair from his forehead, hoping to provide him with some comfort.

as the film reached its climax, taeyong opened his eyes slowly, meeting your gaze with a faint, bittersweet smile. the change in him was stark; his face looked more drawn, his breaths more labored. the realization of what was happening hit you with a force that left you breathless. his once-hopeful demeanor was now overshadowed by a profound weakness.

“smile for me,” he whispered, his voice barely audible but filled with a tender request.

tears welled up in your eyes as you struggled to maintain your composure. you managed a trembling smile, forcing through the waves of sorrow that threatened to overtake you. the smile you gave him was full of love, a desperate attempt to hold onto the beauty of the moment even as the reality of his condition loomed over you.

a tear slipped down taeyong’s cheek as he closed his eyes again, leaning his head on your shoulder with a quiet resignation. the sight of his tear, so vulnerable and raw, broke something within you. you wrapped your arms around him, holding him close, trying to offer whatever comfort you could.

through your own tears, you whispered, “you’ll wake up, taeyong. we’ll see each other tomorrow.”

you clung to the hope that somehow, despite everything, you would get another chance to share a moment, to hear his laugh again, to hold him close. but as you looked at his pale, still form, you knew deep down that this was the end. the light in his eyes was fading, his breaths coming slower and more shallow.

the film continued to play softly in the background, the images a stark contrast to the stillness between you. you felt the weight of the moment, the enormity of the farewell that was unfolding. his breathing grew even more labored, and his grip on you loosened. his eyes remained closed, a final tear slipping from the corner of his eye as he succumbed to the darkness that had been slowly encroaching upon him. you held him close, your own tears flowing freely, your heart breaking with the finality of the situation.

the room seemed to grow colder, the warmth of his presence slipping away. you could feel the heavy silence settling around you, punctuated only by the soft hum of the film projector. you held him tightly, your tears mingling with his as you whispered to him, your voice breaking with sorrow. you had fulfilled his final wish. you had given him a smile to remember.

✧.*

a/n: i'm ngl i cried writing this bye

therapeutic (테라퓨틱) — lee taeyong (이태용)

✧.* 18+

the mind, a vast labyrinth, held within its delicate folds the secrets of every human experience. it was a realm both familiar and foreign, a place where memories danced like shadows on ancient walls, where emotions ebbed and flowed like the tides, and where thoughts wove themselves into the fabric of reality. in that particular domain, the boundaries between the conscious and the unconscious blurred, creating a landscape that was as treacherous as it was beautiful.

for centuries, humanity had sought to understand the mind's inner workings, to decipher the language of neurons and synapses that whispered the truths of existence. yet, despite all the knowledge amassed, the mind remained an enigma, a force capable of both creation and destruction. it could be a sanctuary, a place of solace where dreams flourished, or a prison, where fears and anxieties festered in the dark corners, unbidden and unwelcome.

why do i think the way i do? why do i behave the way i do? why do we find ourselves begging the question, that three-letter question—why? too long has it been a double-edged sword, that question. those who ventured too close to the edge found themselves lost in a labyrinth of their own making, searching for a way out that sometimes seemed impossible to find.

the mind was both a protector and a betrayer. it could shield one from the harshness of reality, crafting illusions and fantasies that soothed the soul. but it could also turn against its owner, unraveling the very threads of their being until they were left exposed, vulnerable to the relentless onslaught of their inner demons. the mind could be a gentle guide, leading one toward healing and self-discovery, or a merciless tormentor, dragging them deeper into the abyss.

the path to mental well-being was not a straight one; it twisted and turned, often doubling back on itself in a confounding maze. it required courage to traverse, or facing the darkest parts of oneself, the fears and doubts that lay hidden beneath the surface. it meant confronting the wounds of the past, allowing them to bleed so they might eventually heal. and it meant accepting that some scars would never fully fade, that they were as much a part of the self as the mind that bore them.

the office you called your own was a home of sorts, a place where the issues of the outside world were left at the door, and the echoes of troubled minds found solace. it was a space curated to ease the burdens carried by those who sought your counsel. the walls were painted in soft, muted tones—an earthy beige that mimicked the comforting embrace of nature. sunlight filtered through the gauzy curtains, casting a gentle glow that softened the edges of the room and made it feel safe, inviting.

your desk, though functional, was devoid of the sterility one might expect in a clinical setting. instead, it was adorned with books—volumes on psychology, philosophy, and the occasional novel that you found particularly stirring. there was a small plant, a gift from a patient who had once come to you in a state of complete disarray, now thriving under your care much as she had under your guidance. everything in the room was carefully chosen to exude warmth, from the plush armchairs that encouraged relaxation to the subtle scent of lavender that lingered in the air, a calming presence in and of itself.

patients came to you from all walks of life, each bringing with them a story woven from the threads of their experiences, traumas, and desires. there were those who arrived at your doorstep with their defences up, their walls built high. but you had a way with people, a way that transcended the clinical distance that often characterized the relationships between psychiatrist and patient. you didn’t just listen to them—you heard them, truly, deeply. you took in not only their words but also the silences between them, the unspoken fears that hid behind carefully chosen phrases, the way their eyes darted away when a subject became too painful to confront.

your reputation had spread quietly, almost organically. it wasn’t that you were a miracle worker or that you possessed some mystical ability to cure what ailed them. rather, it was your presence, the way you made people feel seen and understood without judgment, that drew them in. you never approached a session with preconceived notions or diagnoses waiting to be confirmed. each patient was a blank canvas, and it was your role to help them paint the picture that best represented their truth, no matter how fragmented or abstract it might be.

pills had always been a contentious issue for you. the pharmaceutical industry, with its glossy advertisements and promises of quick fixes, had never sat well with you. to you, the mind was not a machine that could be fine-tuned with a simple dose of chemicals. it was a complex, ever-evolving entity, influenced by experiences, environment, and relationships. you believed that true healing came not from numbing the symptoms but from addressing the root causes, from understanding and untangling the web of emotions and memories that led to a patient’s distress.

when the need for medication arose—and it did, at times, arise—you approached it with the utmost caution. you prescribed only the smallest doses necessary, believing firmly in the principle of ‘less is more.’ and even then, you coupled any prescription with a robust plan of therapy, ensuring that the medication was merely a tool to assist in the journey, not the journey itself. the low dosages you recommended rarely led to backlash, and your patients appreciated your restraint, knowing that you were not one to dole out pills like candy but rather used them as a last resort.

it was in your interactions with your patients that your true skill shone. each session was a dance, a delicate balance of guiding and listening, of leading without forcing. you never rushed them, never pushed them to confront more than they were ready to face. instead, you let them set the pace, allowing the conversation to flow naturally. and when the time came to delve deeper, you did so with a gentleness that put them at ease.

park minhyuk, a man in his early forties who had walked into your office carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. his face was lined with the stress of a life lived under constant pressure, his eyes betraying a deep-seated weariness. he had been referred to you by a friend who spoke highly of your methods. the first time he sat across from you, he looked hesitant, almost skeptical, as if he didn’t quite believe that talking could help him.

“i’m not sure this is going to work,” he had said, his voice heavy with doubt. “i’ve been to therapists before. they all just tell me to take some pills and come back in a few weeks.”

you leaned back in your chair, studying him with a calm, measured gaze. “i’m not here to force anything on you, mister park,” you replied softly. “i’m here to listen, and we’ll move at a pace that feels right for you. there’s no rush.” he had looked at you then, really looked at you, as if searching for something, some sign that you were different. you met his gaze steadily, offering nothing but the quiet assurance that you were there to help, not to judge.

over time, he began to open up, slowly at first, testing the waters. he spoke of his job, the immense pressure to succeed, the constant fear of failure that gnawed at him day and night. he talked about his family, the wife and children he loved dearly but felt disconnected from, the guilt that weighed on him for not being more present in their lives. as he spoke, you listened—not just to his words but to the pain behind them. you noticed the way his hands clenched and unclenched when he talked about his work, the slight tremor in his voice when he mentioned his children. and when he finally began to talk about the darker thoughts that sometimes crept into his mind, the moments when he wondered if it would be easier just to disappear, you didn’t react with shock or alarm. instead, you nodded, acknowledging his feelings without judgment.

“i understand that it feels overwhelming,” you said gently. “but it’s important to remember that these thoughts, as heavy as they are, don’t define you. they’re part of what you’re going through, but they don’t have to be the end of your story.” he looked at you then, a flicker of hope in his tired eyes. “you really think i can get through this?”

“i do,” you replied, your voice steady and sure. “and i’m here to help you find the way.” his journey wasn’t easy, and there were setbacks along the way. but he returned week after week, drawn not just by your words but by the genuine care you showed. and slowly, almost imperceptibly at first, he began to heal. he started taking more time for himself, reconnecting with his family, finding ways to manage the stress that had once consumed him. the transformation wasn’t immediate, but it was real, and it was lasting.

your practice grew, not because you advertised or sought out patients, but because word of mouth spread. people spoke of you with a kind of reverence, not because you were a miracle worker, but because you offered them something rare in the world of mental health—a safe space where they could be themselves, where they could speak without fear of judgment, where they knew they would be heard.

even those who had been through the harshest of environments—prisoners, veterans, people who had been hardened by life—found solace in your office. they recommended you to others, saying, “you should see her. she’s different. she cares.” and they weren’t wrong. you had found your calling, not in the pills or the textbooks, but in the people who sat across from you, day after day, baring their souls in the hope of finding some relief from the burdens they carried. and you met them with compassion, with understanding, with a quiet strength that reassured them they were not alone.

despite your skill in navigating the landscapes of other’s minds, there was a vast, uncharted territory within your own that you could not seem to traverse. you could guide others out of their darkness, yet when it came to your own, you were perpetually lost, stumbling through a fog that only seemed to thicken with time. it was a darkness that you couldn’t quite pinpoint, a gnawing emptiness that seemed to have no origin, no clear beginning. you often wondered when it had all started, but the truth was as elusive as the peace you sought.

perhaps it began when your father left. you could still remember the day he walked out, his shadow stretching long across the floor as the door closed behind him. the silence that followed was deafening, a silence that you had been trying to fill ever since. you were young then, too young to understand why he was leaving, too young to grasp the implications. but the abandonment had left a scar, a deep, festering wound that never quite healed. you wondered if that was where it all began, this relentless feeling of being untethered, of floating aimlessly in a vast, empty space.

maybe it was when your mother overdosed, her lifeless body found slumped over in the bathroom, surrounded by the remnants of a life that had spiraled out of control. you had been the one to find her, a memory that still haunted you, that still woke you in the middle of the night drenched in sweat. the sight of her pale, lifeless face was seared into your mind, a constant reminder of the fragility of life, of how easily it could slip through your fingers. you had been left to pick up the pieces, to make sense of the senseless, and in doing so, you had buried your own grief, your own pain, deep within you, where it festered in the dark.

there were your grandparents, the last anchors in your life, the last semblance of stability. their deaths had come like a storm, sudden and unforgiving, leaving you alone in a world that seemed to be crumbling around you. they had been your safe haven, the only ones who understood the weight you carried, and when they were gone, it felt as though the ground had been ripped out from beneath you. alone. that word echoed in your mind, reverberating off the walls of your empty apartment, a constant reminder of your isolation.

you hated being alone. it wasn’t just a dislike; it was a deep-seated fear, a terror that clawed at you from the inside. when you were alone, your mind became a labyrinth of dark thoughts and memories, each corner hiding another shadow, another demon waiting to pounce. the silence was unbearable, suffocating, so you filled it with noise, any noise that could drown out the voices in your head. you couldn’t stand the short sessions with your patients, craving more time with them, more connection, more distraction from the void inside you. the hour would pass, and you would find yourself wanting to reach out, to extend the session, to hold on to the connection a little longer, just a little longer. but you never did. you were their healer, not the other way around.

housework became a ritual of distraction, each chore accompanied by the blaring sound of music that reverberated through the walls, filling the empty spaces with melodies that drowned out the silence. without music, the house felt too big, too empty, too full of memories you didn’t want to confront. you couldn’t sleep without a movie playing in the background, the flickering light and the familiar voices lulling you into a false sense of security. the thought of lying in bed in complete silence, left alone with your thoughts, was unbearable. so, the movies played, one after another, their comforting narratives keeping the darkness at bay for just a little while longer.

but at the end of the day, when the music stopped, when the movies ended, you were left with nothing but the quiet hum of the empty apartment and the stark realization that you were alone. no parents to comfort you, no friends to lean on, no boyfriend to share your life with. just you. and it wasn’t enough. you had poured so much of yourself into your work, into helping others heal, that you had neglected your own wounds, your own needs. you had become a vessel, emptying yourself for the sake of others until there was nothing left for you.

your patients were the only ones who filled that void, the only ones who made you feel needed, wanted. they confided in you, trusted you, relied on you, and for a while, it was enough. but they were temporary, each one coming to you broken and leaving whole, while you remained the same, a healer who couldn’t heal themselves. when they got better, when they no longer needed you, it broke your heart a little more each time, even though you knew it was coming. it was the nature of your work, after all, to help them, to guide them, and then to let them go. but the letting go was the hardest part because it meant returning to the silence, to the emptiness, to the loneliness that gnawed at you, growing stronger with each departure.

you were sitting in your office, the soft glow of the desk lamp casting long shadows across the room as you sifted through patient files and prescription bottles. the clock on the wall ticked away the minutes, but you barely noticed. the weight of the empty office felt like a cocoon, enclosing you in a familiar, if not comforting, solitude. the sterile smell of paper and faint traces of disinfectant mingled in the air, a scent that had become as much a part of your life as the darkness that you couldn't seem to shake.

the faint sound of footsteps echoed down the hallway, growing louder as they approached your door. you knew who it was before she even knocked—a gentle, almost tentative rap on the door, followed by the soft creak as it swung open. “still here?” your manager’s voice was gentle, but there was an underlying note of concern that she couldn’t quite mask. hara stepped into the room, her eyes sweeping over the scattered files and the bottles of pills lined up in neat rows on your desk. the look she gave you was one you’d seen many times before—a mix of empathy, perhaps a touch of pity, and something else that you couldn’t quite place.

you didn’t look up immediately, your eyes fixed on the file in front of you as you made a show of scribbling a note in the margins. “just wanted to get as much work done as i could,” you said, finally glancing up with a smile that felt foreign on your lips, a practiced expression that you’d perfected over the years. she didn’t say anything at first, just watched you with those knowing eyes of hers. then she moved closer, placing a hand on your shoulder. the touch was warm, grounding in a way that made you want to lean into it, to close your eyes and let the world fall away. but you didn’t. instead, you stayed still, your smile frozen in place.

“you need to rest,” she said softly, her voice carrying a warmth that made something in your chest tighten. she squeezed your shoulder gently before letting her hand drop back to her side. “i will,” you assured her, the lie slipping out as easily as all the others. it was what you were supposed to say, after all, what she expected to hear. but you both knew the truth, didn’t you? you weren’t planning on resting, not anytime soon. rest meant being alone with your thoughts, and that was something you couldn’t bear.

she sighed, a soft sound of resignation, and you could see the conflict in her eyes. she knew she should insist, should tell you to go home and take care of yourself. but she also knew what you would say, how you would deflect with that same smile and those same empty promises. so she didn’t push. instead, she gave you a small nod and fished a set of keys out of her pocket. “lock up when you’re done, alright?” she said, holding the keys out to you.

you reached out to take them, your fingers brushing against hers for the briefest moment before she pulled her hand back. “i will,” you said again, and this time she didn’t bother to respond. she just nodded, casting one last glance around your barren office—the empty desk devoid of personal touches, the phone that never rang—before turning and walking out of the room. the door clicked shut behind her, leaving you alone once more. the silence was palpable, pressing in around you, but you welcomed it. it was better than the alternative. you turned back to the files, flipping through them with the pretense of work, but your mind was elsewhere, lost in the fog that seemed to constantly hover just at the edges of your consciousness.

you let the minutes tick by, the hours bleeding into one another as you went through the same files, the same bottles, over and over again. you knew there was nothing left to do, nothing left to distract yourself with, but you couldn’t bring yourself to leave. not yet. not when you knew what awaited you outside—the cold, unwelcoming night, the empty apartment, the silence that you couldn’t drown out. but eventually, the futility of your actions became impossible to ignore. the same patient files stared back at you, the same labels on the bottles mocking you with their uselessness. you sighed, a long, drawn-out exhalation of breath that carried with it all the weariness you felt but couldn’t show. there was nothing left to do, no more excuses to stay.

reluctantly, you gathered the files and put them back in their proper place, the routine motions bringing you no comfort. the click of the lock on the file cabinet echoed in the empty room, a finality that made your heart sink. you picked up the keys your manager had left you, your fingers curling around the cool metal, and stood up. the room was dark now, the only light coming from the faint glow of the streetlamps outside. you turned off the desk lamp, plunging the room into shadow, and made your way to the door. the hallway was just as empty as it had been when she left, the building silent save for the occasional creak of the floorboards. you locked the door behind you, the keys jingling in the quiet as you slipped them into your pocket.

the night air was cool when you stepped outside, unlike the stale, sterile atmosphere of the office. you tucked your hands into your pockets, your breath misting in the air as you stood there for a moment, letting the city’s sounds wash over you. it was late—nearly two in the morning—but the city was still alive, the distant hum of traffic and the occasional shout from a passerby reminding you that you weren’t completely alone.

but it didn’t bring you any comfort. if anything, it made the emptiness inside you more acute, unlike the vibrancy of the world around you. you weren’t tired, though you wished you were. exhaustion would have been a mercy, a way to escape the thoughts that clawed at you in the quiet. but sleep was as elusive as peace, and you knew that returning to your empty apartment would only make things worse.

so you let your feet carry you down the street, the familiar route to the small bar that stayed open late. it wasn’t much, just a hole-in-the-wall with dim lighting and a jukebox that played old songs, but it was something. a place where you could lose yourself for a little while, where the music and the people could drown out the noise in your head. the bar was nearly empty when you walked in, just a few regulars nursing their drinks and the bartender wiping down the counter. you slipped onto a stool at the far end, nodding in acknowledgment as the bartender approached.

“just a whiskey,” you said, your voice low, and he nodded, pouring you a glass without a word. you downed the first drink quickly, the burn of the alcohol a fleeting comfort, and ordered another. the jukebox played a song you didn’t recognize, the melody soft and haunting, and for a moment, you let yourself get lost in it. the chatter around you faded into the background, the clink of glasses and the murmur of voices becoming nothing more than white noise.

but the comfort was temporary, as it always was. the bar was closing, the bartender giving you a sympathetic look as he handed you your tab. you paid it without complaint, sliding off the stool and making your way to the door with a wave of thanks. the night was colder now, the wind biting at your skin as you walked back to your apartment. the streets were emptier, the city slowly falling asleep, and you found yourself wishing you could do the same. but as you reached your building, the familiar weight of dread settled in your chest. you unlocked the door and stepped inside, the silence immediately enveloping you, as it did every night.

you moved through the motions mechanically—kicking off your shoes, tossing your keys on the table, flicking on the lights. but the apartment felt as cold and lifeless as you did, the emptiness pressing in on you from all sides. you thought about turning on the television, letting the sound fill the void, but you couldn’t muster the energy. instead, you stood in the middle of the room, staring at nothing in particular, feeling the weight of the silence bear down on you.

it was suffocating, this loneliness, this isolation. it was a constant companion, one that you couldn’t escape no matter how hard you tried. and as you finally collapsed onto the couch, pulling a blanket around your shoulders, you couldn’t help but wonder if this was how it would always be. if you were destined to live your life in this void, surrounded by silence and shadows, with no one to share it with. the night stretched on, the city outside your window slowly quieting as it finally succumbed to sleep. but sleep didn’t come for you, not easily, not with the thoughts that swirled in your mind, the memories that haunted you. so you lay there, staring up at the ceiling, letting the darkness close in around you, wondering if there would ever be a way out.

the morning sunlight streamed through the narrow gap in your curtains, casting a gentle glow across the room. you stretched awake, the familiar feeling of weariness hanging heavy in your limbs, but there was something different about today. it was as though a thin veil had lifted, allowing a sliver of anticipation to seep in. you had always been a person of routine, and the thought of returning to your office, of delving back into the rhythm of your work, brought with it a semblance of comfort, a fleeting escape from the solitude that plagued you.

you moved through your morning routine with efficiency, the motions almost automatic. the scent of freshly brewed coffee filled the kitchen as you prepared a simple breakfast—toast and jam, with a cup of strong coffee to wake your senses. the radio hummed softly in the background, a familiar companion that provided a semblance of normalcy. you dressed with deliberate care, choosing a crisp, tailored suit that made you feel professional and polished, ready to face whatever the day might bring.

the trip to the office was a brief but pleasant ritual, the city streets bathed in the soft morning light, the air carrying the promise of a new day. you relished the routine, the predictable patterns that offered a sense of control. as you approached your building, you caught sight of the familiar facade, the reassuring solidity of it grounding you.

but as you walked through the entrance, you were greeted by an unexpected sight. hara stood waiting in the lobby. her presence was unusual at this hour, and her expression was more serious than usual. you offered her a friendly smile, but she didn’t immediately return it. instead, she gestured for you to follow her to a quiet corner of the building. “you’ve been working hard,” she began, her tone carrying a note of cautious warmth. “and i wanted to have a word with you.”

you paused, a twinge of apprehension flickering in your chest. “am i in trouble?” you asked, the question escaping before you could second-guess it. hara shook her head, her lips curling into a faint smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes. “no, not at all. well, not yet,” she said, inhaling deeply as if gathering her thoughts.

your heart skipped a beat. “what do you mean?” the uncertainty in her voice sent a ripple of unease through you. “what’s wrong?” she took a moment to collect her thoughts, her eyes meeting yours with a look of barely concealed concern. “you have a new patient,” she said finally, her tone shifting to one of subdued excitement as she watched your eyes light up at the news.

“really?” you asked, a spark of enthusiasm igniting within you. it had been a while since you had taken on a new case, and the prospect of diving into a fresh challenge was invigorating.

hara held up a hand, her expression turning more serious. “don’t get too excited,” she said, her tone taking on a warning edge. “he’ll be your project patient for your internship at the asylum.” the words hit you like a cold splash of water. “the asylum?” you repeated, the dismay clear in your voice. “but i love working here. this office, this environment—i don’t want to leave.”

hara’s face softened, and before you could fully process what was happening, she stepped forward and enveloped you in a hug. the gesture was unexpected, her arms wrapping around you with a warmth and sincerity that contrasted sharply with her usual professional demeanor. for a moment, you let yourself sink into the embrace, the human contact a rare and precious balm against the isolation that had become your constant companion.

“i know,” she said, her voice muffled against your shoulder. “i know how much you love it here. but this is something you have to do for your career. it’s a good opportunity, and it’s important for your development.”

you barely registered her words, too caught up in the comforting proximity of another person. the embrace lasted only a few moments, but it was enough to stir something deep within you—a longing for connection, for understanding, for more than just the superficial interactions of your daily life. when she finally pulled away, you nodded, a sense of reluctant acceptance settling over you. “okay,” you said softly, the word carrying more resignation than agreement.

she gave you a reassuring smile, her eyes reflecting a mix of sympathy and encouragement. “i’ll call a taxi for you,” she said, guiding you toward the building’s entrance. “it’s best if you head over there now. and remember to keep an open mind. this could be a valuable experience.” you followed her outside, the cool morning air brushing against your face. she hailed a taxi and handed you the keys to the office, reminding you to lock up when you finished. you took the keys with a grateful nod and watched as she walked back inside, her figure disappearing into the building.

the ride was a blur of anxious anticipation and reluctant acceptance. the city passed by in a series of shifting scenes, the familiar streets giving way to more industrial landscapes as you neared the asylum. it was a place you had heard about in passing but had never visited—a cold, imposing structure that seemed to loom on the horizon, its architecture stark and unwelcoming.

the asylum loomed before you like a cold, implacable sentinel against the sky, its grim, grey façade cutting through the morning mist. you stood before it for a moment, taking in the sheer scale of the structure—an imposing monolith that seemed to absorb the light, casting long shadows that stretched over the cracked pavement. the windows were narrow, barred, and the walls bore the harshness of age and neglect. there was something distinctly unwelcoming about it, so unlike the warm, inviting atmosphere of your office.

you pushed open the iron door, and a chill seemed to emanate from the very core of the building. the foyer was austere and utilitarian, the air thick with the smell of disinfectant and something else—a faint hint of despair that clung to the walls and floors. the reception area was starkly lit, the fluorescent lights casting a harsh glare over the sterile surroundings. it was a far cry from the soft lighting and cozy furnishings you were accustomed to.

the receptionist sat behind a high counter, her demeanor as frosty as the environment. she looked up as you approached, her gaze assessing you with a detached scrutiny. her uniform was crisp and immaculate, adding to the air of clinical precision that pervaded the space. “name and business?” she asked, her voice flat and devoid of warmth.

you took a deep breath, steeling yourself against the chill that seemed to penetrate your bones. “i’m (y/n) (l/n), here for an internship as the asylum’s psychiatrist,” you said, your voice steady despite the uneasy flutter in your stomach. the receptionist’s eyes narrowed slightly, and her lips twisted into a thin, humorless line. there was something almost predatory in her gaze, a faint glimmer of disdain or perhaps even pity. “follow me,” she said curtly, her tone leaving no room for discussion.

you trailed behind her as she led you through the labyrinthine corridors of the asylum. the hallways were long and narrow, lined with peeling paint and heavy metal doors. the air was heavy, laden with the echoes of distant voices and the occasional clank of metal on metal. you could hear the shuffling of feet, the murmurs and cries of the patients—a cacophony of sounds that was jarringly different from the calm and composed demeanor of your previous office.

as you walked, you noticed the guards stationed at regular intervals. they were stern-faced and vigilant, their uniforms dark and imposing. their presence was a constant reminder of the control and surveillance that permeated every corner of the asylum. you felt their eyes on you, a silent assessment that made you self-conscious. you passed by several cells, their occupants visible through the narrow windows set into the doors. the patients inside were much unlike the composed individuals you were used to. they paced restlessly, their eyes darting with a wildness that spoke of untamed thoughts and unspoken fears. some shouted incoherently, while others simply stared blankly at the walls. the sense of chaos was eerie, and it sent a shiver down your spine.

eventually, the receptionist stopped in front of a heavy door marked with a simple brass plate that read “psychiatrist.” she unlocked it with a practiced twist of the key and pushed it open, revealing a small, spartan office. the room was a stark departure from the warm, inviting space you were used to. the walls were a dull, institutional green, and the furniture was minimal and functional. there was a plain wooden desk with a single chair behind it and a couple of metal filing cabinets against one wall. a solitary window, heavily barred, provided a view of the bleak courtyard outside. the light that filtered through was cold and uninviting, casting long shadows across the room.

the receptionist stepped inside and placed a folder on the desk. “this is your workspace,” she said, her tone as unfeeling as ever. “you’ll be lucky to make it out alive.”

her words were delivered with a chilling finality, and before you could respond, she turned on her heel and walked out, leaving you alone in the sterile, unwelcoming space. the door clicked shut behind her, and you were left standing in the midst of the clinical bleakness that surrounded you. you stood there for a moment, absorbing the reality of your new environment. the emptiness of the room mirrored the uncertainty that was swirling within you. the asylum was a world apart from the comforting familiarity of your office, a place where every detail seemed designed to unsettle and disquiet. as you took in the surroundings, you couldn’t help but feel a pang of regret for the warmth you had left behind and a growing apprehension for what lay ahead.

you turned your attention to the stack of files on your desk, organizing them with methodical precision. the papers were a jumble of case histories, treatment plans, and patient backgrounds. as you sorted through them, the muted rustle of paper was the only sound breaking the silence of the room. you had just begun to lose yourself in the paperwork when a sharp knock on the door startled you. the sound echoed in the otherwise still space, cutting through the quiet like a sudden gust of wind. you looked up, but before you could respond, the door swung open with a slow creak, revealing two guards.

the guards were as imposing as their environment, their uniforms sharp and unyielding. they moved with an air of efficiency, each holding an arm of the man who followed them into the room. your gaze fell upon him, and despite your initial wariness, you were struck by an unsettling calmness that seemed to envelop him. he didn't resist; instead, he walked with an eerie composure, his movements measured and deliberate.

the man was restrained in a straitjacket, his arms bound tightly and secured with a belt around his torso. the sight of the straitjacket, with its bold white fabric and heavy buckles, seemed almost surreal against the backdrop of the dull office. the restraints were a harsh reminder of the severe nature of his condition, yet his demeanor was unexpectedly serene. as he was guided to the chair across from your desk, you took the opportunity to study him more closely. he was a tall man, his frame lean but solid. his features were striking—a sharp, prominent jawline and high cheekbones that gave him a distinctly aristocratic appearance. his brown eyes, though calm, carried an intensity that seemed to pierce through the confines of the straitjacket, a depth that hinted at complexities beneath the surface.

there was an unsettling grace to his presence, an almost magnetic quality that drew your attention despite the circumstances. his hair was dark and neatly styled, falling in soft waves that framed his face. the contrast between his physical appeal and the harsh restraints was jarring, creating a dissonance that was difficult to ignore. the guards remained by the door, their expressions guarded and unreadable. they exchanged a brief, knowing look before stepping out of the room, leaving you alone with the restrained man. their departure was marked by the soft click of the door as it closed behind them, and the silence that followed was thick and heavy.

you were left in the room with the man, the weight of the situation settling heavily on your shoulders. the office, with its cold, clinical ambiance, seemed suddenly smaller and more confining. you took a deep breath, trying to center yourself as you prepared to begin the session. the man’s calmness was a definite contrast to the environment of the asylum. he patient’s eyes remained fixed on you, a quiet challenge in their depths, as if he were assessing you as much as you were trying to understand him. you could sense a subtle tension in the air, an undercurrent of anticipation that was almost overwhelming.

you took a deep breath, the silence in the room amplifying the subtle rustle of papers as you mentally prepared yourself for the interaction. the restrained man sat calmly in front of you, his demeanor a striking contrast to the harsh confines of his situation. you cleared your throat, attempting to steady your voice as you introduced yourself.

“hello, i’m doctor (y/n) (l/n),” you said, your tone measured and professional. “i’ll be working with you during this internship.” as you spoke, the man’s lips curved into a faint, enigmatic smile. it was a smile that seemed to hold secrets, one that both intrigued and unsettled you. Hhs eyes glinted with an unsettling mixture of curiosity and amusement.

“lee taeyong,” he said, his voice smooth and articulate. the name struck you with the force of a thunderclap. you hadn’t recognized his face immediately, but his name was unmistakable. lee taeyong—an infamous figure known for his involvement in shootings and robberies. his notoriety had led to his confinement in a correctional facility after being deemed mentally unwell. your heart skipped a beat, and you felt your face go pale, the realization dawning with a cold, unwelcome clarity. taeyong’s keen eyes caught the shift in your expression, and a dry chuckle escaped his lips.

“have you heard of me?” he asked, his tone laced with a subtle taunt. you nodded slowly, trying to mask the tension that was creeping into your chest. “yes, i have.”

his laughter was dry and devoid of genuine mirth, a sound that seemed to echo with a dark undertone. “so, are you gonna cure me, doctor?” he asked, his eyes locked onto yours with an intensity that sent a shiver down your spine. you squared your shoulders, forcing yourself to meet his gaze with a confidence you didn’t entirely feel. “there isn’t anything i can’t cure.”

his response was immediate, and he leaned in abruptly, causing you to flinch involuntarily. the sudden movement was unsettling, and you found yourself instinctively retreating. taeyong smirked, clearly amused by your reaction. “are you afraid, doctor?” he asked, his voice low and teasing. you steadied your breathing, forcing a calmness into your voice as you responded, “i’m not.”

his eyes widened slightly in surprise. “you’re too pretty to be a doctor,” he remarked, the compliment carrying an edge of mockery. you raised an eyebrow, trying to keep the conversation on track. “why do you think you’re unstable?”

taeyong’s expression shifted slightly, his demeanor becoming more contemplative. “i don’t think i am,” he said, a hint of defensiveness in his voice. “but everybody else does. they think my urges are abnormal.” intrigued, you leaned forward slightly. “what kind of urges?”

his eyes darkened with a certain intensity as he spoke. “i like the fear and the thrill,” he said, his voice carrying a chilling calm. “the screams, the way everyone is powerless against me. it’s exhilarating.”

your mind raced as you processed his words, but you decided to take an unexpected step. you reached for the straps of his straitjacket and began to unfasten them, freeing his arms. taeyong’s eyes widened in surprise. “what are you doing?” he asked, his tone a mix of curiosity and apprehension.

you smiled, trying to project a sense of ease despite the underlying tension. “i thought you might be more comfortable without the restraints.” his gaze remained fixed on you, his expression a blend of astonishment and wariness. “aren’t you afraid i’ll kill you?”

you met his gaze steadily, feeling a strange sense of calmness despite the gravity of the situation. “i don’t think you will.” his brows knitted together in confusion. “how do you know?”

“because,” you said softly, “i don’t believe you’re a bad person.” the sincerity in your voice seemed to take him aback. his eyes widened slightly, and for a moment, he looked genuinely disoriented by your kindness. the atmosphere in the room seemed to shift, a tentative bridge forming between the two of you.

taeyong leaned back, his posture relaxing slightly as he began to open up in a way that was both fascinating and ominous. he spoke of his past, his thoughts, and his perceptions with a raw honesty that was unsettling yet compelling. his words were a tapestry of dark desires and twisted logic, but there was an underlying vulnerability that made it clear he was grappling with his own demons.

as the session drew to a close, he looked at you with an unsettling blend of anticipation and something akin to respect. “i look forward to seeing you again, doctor.” he said, his voice carrying an eerie calmness. to your surprise, you found yourself looking forward to it as well. there was something about the interaction, the unexpected connection, that left you both unsettled and intrigued. as you watched him being escorted out by the guards, the weight of the session settled on your shoulders.

the morning sunlight filtered through the blinds of your apartment, casting a warm, gentle glow over the room. yet, despite the comforting start to your day, your mind was occupied with a singular thought—your next session with taeyong. the anticipation was a new and curious sensation, one that both thrilled and unsettled you. there was something compelling about his presence, a magnetic pull that made you eager to continue your interactions with him.

as you prepared for work, you found yourself contemplating how to make the next session more engaging, more comforting for him. the idea of a small gesture—something that might break through the cold walls of the asylum and create a connection—seemed to be the right approach. you decided to get him a gift, a symbol of the positive interaction you hoped to foster.

you ventured out to a small, quaint shop that morning, one filled with charming trinkets and comforting knick-knacks. your eyes scanned the shelves until they fell upon a small, stuffed kitten, its plush fur a soft, inviting shade of cream. it was delicate and unassuming, a small source of innocence amidst the reality of the asylum. you picked it up with a sense of purpose, imagining how such a simple object might ease the harshness of taeyong’s environment.

when you arrived at the asylum, the day’s routine felt different. the walls seemed colder, the atmosphere more oppressive, but the small stuffed kitten in your bag provided a small spark of warmth. as you approached your office, you were taken aback to find taeyong already seated in the chair, an unexpected sight. his presence there, so much earlier than anticipated, stirred a peculiar flutter in your chest. “you’re early today,” you remarked, trying to keep your tone light and neutral.

taeyong looked up at you, a genuine smile spreading across his face. “i couldn’t wait to see you,” he said, his voice carrying a hint of excitement that made your heart skip a beat. the sincerity in his words resonated deeply with you, and a small, inexplicable connection seemed to click into place. you felt a warm flush creep up your neck, but you quickly pushed the feeling aside, focusing on your planned gesture.

“i have something for you,” you said, reaching into your bag and pulling out the stuffed kitten. taeyong’s eyes widened with surprise and curiosity. “what’s this?” he asked, his tone a mix of intrigue and amusement.

you extended the kitten towards him, a smile playing at your lips. “it’s a little gift. i thought it might help make things a bit more comfortable here.” he took the kitten from you, his fingers brushing against yours for a brief, electrifying moment. as he cradled the stuffed animal in his hands, a look of genuine appreciation crossed his face. “i’m honored,” he said softly, his gaze fixed on the kitten.

you watched as he examined the plush toy with a sense of fascination. “i want you to take good care of it,” you said, your voice gentle. “if you can fight the urge to hurt it, then maybe you can fight the urge to hurt anything.” his lips curved into a mischievous smile as he toyed with the kitten, his fingers brushing over its soft fur.

“is that your way of challenging me, doctor?” he asked, his tone light but edged with an underlying seriousness. you nodded, trying to maintain a composed demeanor. “something like that,” you replied.

the session began in earnest, the conversation flowing with a new ease as taeyong’s attention seemed drawn to the small stuffed animal. he spoke of his past, his feelings, and his thoughts with a candor that was both unsettling and revealing. his insights were intertwined with moments of dark humor and cryptic reflections, making it clear that he was a man of contradictions. at one point, as you listened intently, his hand, still holding the kitten, brushed against a stray strand of hair that had fallen across your face. the touch was fleeting but intimate, a gesture that caught you off guard. you looked up to meet his gaze, finding a depth in his eyes that was both intense and vulnerable.

“i meant what i said earlier,” taeyong said, his voice softening. “you’re too pretty to be a doctor.” you blinked in surprise, trying to process the compliment amidst the complexity of the situation. “what do you mean?” you asked, genuinely curious.

his expression remained earnest, his eyes locking onto yours with a sincerity that was rare in such an environment. “you just don’t seem like someone who should be confined to this place. there’s something different about you.”

the moment lingered between you, charged with an emotional undercurrent that was difficult to define. despite the oddity of the situation, you felt a surprising warmth in his words. it was an acknowledgment of your humanity amidst the dehumanizing environment of the asylum. as the session drew to a close, you gathered your things, the small stuffed kitten resting on the desk between you. taeyong’s gaze followed you with an almost reluctant admiration, and there was a sense of anticipation in the air as you prepared to leave.

“i look forward to seeing you again,” he said, his voice carrying a hint of genuine hope. you nodded, a small smile touching your lips. “i look forward to seeing you too.”

with that, you watched as taeyong was escorted out by the guards, the connection between you both lingering like a faint but persistent echo. the asylum, with all its harsh realities, seemed momentarily softened by the unexpected bond that had formed. as you left for the day, the small stuffed kitten seemed to symbolize a fragile bridge between your world and his. you just weren't aware of how sturdy, nor how fragile, the bridge really was.

the weeks that followed your initial session with taeyong felt like a delicate dance, a precarious balance between professional distance and the growing, unspoken connection that had begun to develop between you. each session became a complex interplay of emotions and revelations, and you found yourself increasingly invested in his progress.

you had begun to believe, with a cautious optimism, that taeyong was making strides. the sessions were marked by moments of genuine insight and self-reflection from him, which seemed to indicate that he was grappling with his inner turmoil in ways that were both constructive and revealing. there was an undeniable progress, and you couldn’t help but feel a surge of hope every time you saw him approach with that enigmatic smile.

during one particular session, you found yourself immersed in a conversation about his past, his regrets, and his aspirations. taeyong, with his characteristic curiosity and sharpness, suddenly shifted the focus of the conversation. “what about you, doctor?” he asked, his voice carrying a tone of genuine interest. “what do you struggle with?”

the question caught you off guard, and for a moment, you hesitated. it was unusual for a patient to turn the spotlight onto you, especially someone like taeyong, whose own issues seemed so consuming. you took a deep breath, searching for the right words to encapsulate the truth.

“i suppose,” you began, struggling to find a way to articulate your feelings. “i've been lonely my whole life.” taeyong’s eyes softened, and for a fleeting moment, the hardness in his gaze seemed to melt away. “no woman like you should ever feel lonely,” he said softly, his tone laced with an unexpected gentleness.

his words struck a chord deep within you, and you felt a sudden, almost overwhelming rush of emotion. you looked up, meeting his gaze with a mixture of vulnerability and curiosity. before you could fully process the weight of his statement, he leaned in closer, his breath warm against your ear. “do you feel lonely with me here?” he asked, his voice a low whisper that sent shivers down your spine.

your heart pounded in your chest, the sound echoing in your ears as if to drown out the rest of the world. the proximity of his body, the intensity of his gaze, and the warmth of his breath combined to create a heady cocktail of sensations. you fought to maintain composure, but the answer came out more as a breathless confession. “no,” you admitted, your voice barely more than a whisper.

taeyong’s fingers, moving with deliberate slowness, traced a path along your neck. the touch was light but electrifying, a sensation that left your skin tingling and your breath catching in your throat. “you shouldn’t,” he said, his voice carrying an almost imperceptible note of possessiveness.

the weight of his touch, the intimacy of the moment, and the raw honesty in his words created a potent mix of emotions that overwhelmed you. as the session drew to a close, you found yourself grappling with a tumult of conflicting feelings. the professional boundaries that had once seemed so clear were now blurred, and you were left with a gnawing sense of guilt for finding comfort in a connection that was fundamentally inappropriate.

the room seemed colder as you watched him leave, the reality of the asylum returning with its harsh, unyielding presence. you could still feel the ghost of his touch on your skin, the echo of his breath in your ear, and the weight of his words in your heart. the session had brought a confusing mixture of warmth and unease, and as you locked up your office and walked out into the night, the loneliness you had tried so hard to combat felt more intense than ever.

as the days turned into weeks, the asylum’s sterile corridors and echoing chambers seemed to shrink in comparison to the burgeoning world of emotions you experienced during your sessions with taeyong. each encounter with him became a delicate interplay of professional duty and personal connection, weaving a complex tapestry of emotions that you struggled to fully comprehend.

the sessions grew more intense and revealing, both for you and for taeyong. you could no longer ignore the way your heart would race in anticipation of each meeting. the way his eyes would light up when he saw you, the way his presence seemed to fill the room with a bright energy—it was impossible to deny the deepening bond between you.

in one particular session, taeyong sat across from you, the small stuffed kitten now a constant companion in his hands. the stuffed animal had become a symbol of the connection you shared, its presence a silent witness to your evolving relationship. “you know,” he began, his voice carrying a hint of introspection, “i’ve been thinking a lot about what we’ve talked about. you’ve managed to get me to see things differently. i never thought i’d say this, but i think i owe you more than just my progress.”

you looked at him, your heart skipping a beat at his unexpected confession. “what do you mean by that?” you asked, your voice steady but filled with curiosity. his gaze was intense, his eyes searching yours with an earnestness that was both disarming and endearing. “you’ve been patient with me, more patient than anyone else ever has. i think,” he paused, choosing his words with care. “i think you’ve made me feel things i didn’t know i could still feel.”

you could feel the weight of his words settling over you, a mix of excitement and apprehension. “and what is it that you feel?” you asked, your voice barely more than a whisper. he took a deep breath, his fingers absently stroking the kitten. “i feel understood. cared for, in a way I never thought i’d experience again. it’s strange, but i think i’m beginning to look forward to these sessions more than i should.”

the admission struck a chord within you, and you felt a mixture of joy and sadness. joy at the progress he was making and sadness at the realization that your growing affection for him might blur the lines of your professional role. during another session, you found yourself struggling to maintain your composure as taeyong’s attention shifted to you in a way that felt increasingly personal. he leaned forward, his gaze unwavering as he spoke.

“you know,” he said, his voice low and intimate, “i’ve noticed something about you. you seem different when we talk. there’s something in the way you look at me. something more than just concern.” you felt your cheeks flush, a mixture of embarrassment and excitement swirling within you. “what do you mean?” you asked, trying to keep your voice steady.

his eyes softened, and he reached out, his fingers gently brushing against yours. “i think you care about me more than you let on. and i can’t help but feel the same way.”

the admission hung in the air, charged with an electric tension that was impossible to ignore. you felt a surge of emotion, a tumult of conflicting feelings as you tried to process his words. it was both thrilling and terrifying to acknowledge that your feelings for taeyong had grown beyond the boundaries of professional detachment.

as the session continued, his demeanor shifted. he seemed more relaxed, more open, and the connection between you felt more tangible than ever. the way he would smile at you, the way his eyes would linger on yours—it was clear that the emotional bond between you was deepening. you struggled with the guilt and the moral conflict of your growing affection for him, knowing that it was inappropriate yet feeling a profound, undeniable connection.

the day you arrived for your next session with taeyong, you felt an unusual sense of anticipation. the asylum's cold corridors seemed to blur as you walked briskly toward your office, your mind already filled with thoughts of the conversation you hoped to have. but as you reached the familiar door, a pang of anxiety hit you when you noticed the room was empty.

your heart sank as you turned to the guards stationed outside the office. “where’s taeyong?” you asked, trying to keep your voice calm despite the growing concern. the guards exchanged uneasy glances before one of them responded. “they’ve decided to test their luck with another psychiatrist today. wanted to see how he’d react.”

a cold wave of dread washed over you, and you felt a sharp pang of heartache. before you could ask for more details, the silence of the corridor was shattered by a deafening crash. your heart raced as the sound of shattering furniture and frantic shouting reached your ears.

without a second thought, you sprinted down the hallway, your footsteps echoing in the sterile space. as you rounded the corner, you saw the scene unfolding in your office. taeyong, his face a mask of determination, was wielding a chair above his head, his muscles tensed in a show of raw strength. the psychiatrist lay sprawled on the floor, his face a picture of shock and pain. the guards were shouting, their voices a blur as they rushed toward taeyong. “what happened?” one of them demanded, their tone filled with both anger and concern.

his gaze, sharp and intense, found yours amidst the chaos. “i told you,” he said, his voice carrying a fierce determination, “i wanted to see doctor (l/n).”

the room seemed to freeze for a moment as his words sank in. he was swiftly restrained and escorted back to his cell, leaving you standing in the doorway of your office, your heart aching at the sight of the broken scene before you. the guards, now dealing with the aftermath of his outburst, left you waiting alone in the hallway. time seemed to stretch endlessly as you stood there, your mind racing with a tumult of conflicting emotions. when taeyong was finally brought out again, his demeanor was calmer, though his eyes held a deep, unfathomable intensity.

he looked at you with a mix of curiosity and something more personal. “what were you doing there?” he asked, his voice steady but laced with an edge of disbelief. you took a deep breath, feeling the weight of his gaze. “i was waiting for you,” you admitted, your voice soft but earnest.

his eyes widened slightly, surprise flickering across his features. “seriously?” you nodded, feeling a strange blend of relief and apprehension. “yes, seriously.”

once back in your office, the atmosphere felt charged with an electric tension. you sat across from him, your heart pounding as you tried to make sense of the events. “why did you crash out like that?” you asked, struggling to keep your voice steady. “you were making so much progress.”

taeyong’s expression softened slightly as he reached for the small stuffed kitten that had become a symbol of your sessions. he held it up, its soft fur unmarred by the recent issues. “because,” he said, his voice softening with an intensity that made your breath catch, “i’m in love with you.”

the confession hung heavy in the air, and you felt a surge of conflicting emotions—shock, confusion, and a deep, aching resonance. you stared at him, unable to fully process the gravity of his words. “i am too,” you said finally, your voice trembling with the weight of the admission.

without another word, he leaned forward, his gaze fixed on you with a fierce, unyielding intensity. his lips met yours in a kiss that was both tender and urgent. it felt wrong, a violation of every professional boundary you had sworn to uphold. yet, the raw, desperate need to connect, to feel something beyond the crushing loneliness that had plagued you, overpowered your sense of propriety.

the kiss was intense, filled with a mix of longing and desperation that made your heart race. his lips were warm against yours, his touch both gentle and insistent. every brush of his mouth, every caress of his fingers, seemed to echo the depth of the emotions you had both been struggling to contain. as the kiss deepened, you felt a wave of conflicting emotions—guilt and exhilaration, fear and desire. the world outside faded away, leaving only the overwhelming intensity of the moment. the walls of the asylum, the rules you had so carefully adhered to, and the boundaries you had maintained all seemed to crumble in the face of the unexpected connection.

taeyong’s hands slid up your body, cupping your tits over your blouse. his thumbs brushed against your nipples, which hardened immediately under his touch. you gasped into his mouth, your body responding with a fiery hunger that was impossible to ignore. his touch was rough, yet tender, as if he was afraid of breaking the fragile bond that had formed between you. his words from earlier played in your mind, and you felt a thrill of arousal that was as surprising as it was undeniable. you pushed back from the desk, the chair scraping against the floor as you stood to face him. your hands found the hem of your blouse, lifting it over your head to expose your bra. his eyes raked over your body, dark with desire. “you have no idea,” he murmured, his voice a low growl. “how long i’ve wanted this.”

you stepped closer to him, reaching behind to unclasp your bra. it fell away, revealing your full, round tits. taeyong’s gaze was glued to them, his pupils dilating as he took in the sight. he leaned in, his breath hot against your skin as he licked one nipple, then the other, his tongue flicking and teasing until you were moaning with need. your hands found his hair, pulling him closer as his mouth closed around one nipple, sucking hard.

his hands moved to the button of your pants, and with trembling fingers, he unzipped them. you stepped out of them, feeling a sense of vulnerability that was both terrifying and thrilling. he pushed you back onto the desk, his mouth moving down your body as he kissed and licked a trail to your center. his fingers found their way inside your panties, stroking your wet folds.

his tongue darted out, tasting you for the first time. you moaned, arching your back as he explored you with a fervor that left you breathless. he was rough, yet precise, his touch speaking of a hunger that matched your own. you could feel his erection pressing against you through his pants, and the thought of his big dick inside you made you wetter still. his fingers moved to your clit, rubbing it in tight circles that had you panting. your hips rocked against his face, desperate for more. “please, taeyong,” you begged, your voice needy and wanton. “fuck me. make me feel alive again.”

his only response was to stand up, his eyes never leaving yours as he unbuckled his belt and let his pants fall to the floor. his cock sprang free, thick and hard, and you felt your mouth water at the sight of it. he stepped closer, positioning himself between your legs, and without preamble, he pushed into you.

the sensation was overwhelming—he was so much bigger than any man you had ever been with. it was a stretch, a burn that bordered on pain, but the pleasure was so intense that you didn’t care. you gripped the edge of the desk, your nails digging into the wood as he began to thrust, hard and deep. his strokes were punctuated with dirty talk that made you feel like a whore, but it only served to make you wetter, to make you want him more.

you wrapped your legs around his waist, urging him deeper, feeling his cock fill you completely. his breath was hot and ragged against your neck, his teeth nipping at your skin. “you’re mine, doctor,” he growled. “no better cure than this pussy, fuck.” the words sent a shiver down your spine, and you knew that this was a line you could never uncross. but in that moment, as you felt him thrust inside you with a roar of pleasure, you didn’t care. he was close, his thrusts sloppy as his fingers pulled your hair, your whimpers making his dick twitch.

his hand slid down to cup your ass, his grip tightening as he pounded into you. your tits bounced with every impact, and you could feel his hot breath on your skin as he whispered obscenities in your ear. it was a symphony of degradation and lust, and you were the eager conductor, urging him on. your pussy was tight around his cock, gripping him with every stroke, and you knew you were close to the edge.

suddenly, he pulled out, leaving you feeling empty and needy. you looked up at him, your eyes glazed with passion, and he smirked. “turn over,” he ordered, his voice gruff. you complied, turning onto your stomach and spreading your legs, the cool desk against your burning skin. he stepped behind you, his cock nudging at your entrance again. without warning, he slammed back into you, making you cry out.

the new angle was exquisite, his cock hitting deeper, reaching parts of you that had never been touched before. you pushed back against him, your body begging for more. his hands gripped your hips, his nails digging in as he picked up the pace. “yeah, take it like that, like the slut you are,” he murmured, his voice a mix of praise and command. your cheeks flushed at the words, but you found yourself pushing back even harder, eager to prove his words true. with every thrust, he whispered filthy compliments about your body, his grip on your hips tightening as he fucked you like he owned you.

his hand reached around to play with your clit, his touch sending waves of pleasure through you. your moans grew louder, filling the room. the sound of skin slapping against skin was the only music in the air, a rhythmic crescendo that grew more intense with every second. you felt your orgasm building, your pussy clenching around his cock. “that’s it, doctor. cum for me,” he encouraged, his voice hoarse with lust. and with a final, brutal thrust, you did, your body shuddering with the force of your climax. he followed shortly after, his seed spilling into you, marking you as his.

once the tremors had subsided, he pulled out, leaving you gasping for air. you felt the stickiness between your legs, a reminder of what had just transpired. as you looked back at him, you saw the smug satisfaction on his face, and you couldn’t help but feel a twinge of anger. but it was quickly drowned out by the addictive thrill of the power exchange. you had never felt so alive, so desired. it was therapeutic. and as he stepped closer, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, you knew that this was far from over. there was an unspoken promise in his eyes, a challenge for you to come back for more. and you knew, without a doubt, that you would.

as taeyong straightened his clothes, his gaze never left you, the intensity in his eyes as present as ever. he was murmuring something under his breath, and you had to strain to hear his words amidst the whirlwind of emotions you were trying to process. “i feel as if you’ve cured me,” he said softly, his voice carrying a sense of genuine relief.

you blinked, taken aback by his declaration. “are you serious?” you asked, your voice a mixture of disbelief and hope. he nodded slowly, a small, almost serene smile playing on his lips. “yes, i am.”

the room seemed to hold its breath as he began to dress himself, each movement deliberate and composed. your own heart raced as you grappled with the weight of his words. the promise of cure and the possibility of something more twisted together in your mind. he turned to you, his expression serious yet tender.

“i need you to do something for me,” he said, his eyes locking with yours. “anything,” you replied without hesitation, your voice firm despite the storm of emotions brewing within you.

taeyong’s gaze softened slightly, and he leaned in close, his breath warm against your ear. “i need a machine gun.” the request hit you like a jolt. “a machine gun?” you repeated, trying to comprehend the gravity of what he was asking.

“yes,” he confirmed, his voice steady. “if you don’t want to help me, i understand, but i need one.” you were silent for a moment, the enormity of his request settling over you. the ethical and legal implications were enormous, yet the urgency in his tone and the trust he placed in you compelled you to respond. shaking your head, you met his gaze with determination. “i’ll do it.”

taeyong’s eyes lit up with a mixture of relief and gratitude. he leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss on your forehead. “thank you for curing me.”

the warmth of his touch lingered long after he had left. that night, the enormity of hia request weighed heavily on you, but you were resolute. if this was what he needed, then you would find a way. the loneliness that had plagued you seemed to intensify with the knowledge of his needs, but it also spurred you into action. you spent the evening making discreet, cautious inquiries, your mind racing with worry and determination. you knew the gravity of what you were doing, the potential consequences, but the promise of alleviating your own profound sense of loneliness and his plea drove you forward. finally, after hours of careful navigation through back channels and clandestine meetings, you acquired the machine gun. it was a heavy, ominous object, wrapped in layers of secrecy and dread.

you stored it securely in a hidden compartment of your bag, the weight of it pressing down with a disquieting sense of finality. the next morning, you arrived at the asylum with a mix of dread and anticipation, knowing that the day’s session would be unlike any before. entering your office, you saw taeyong already seated, a patient yet expectant look on his face. your heart skipped a beat as you approached him, the hidden weight of the machine gun in your bag seeming almost to pulse with your anxiety.

“good morning,” you said, forcing a smile. “good morning,” he replied, his eyes immediately catching the glint of anticipation in yours.

you sat down across from him and carefully extracted the machine gun from your bag. his eyes widened in surprise and then satisfaction as you laid the weapon on the desk before him. “i didn’t think you’d actually do it,” he said, his voice a mix of awe and approval. “you said you needed it,” you replied, trying to keep your voice steady. “i wouldn’t let you down.”

taeyong’s gaze softened as he reached out to touch the machine gun, his fingers brushing over the cold metal with a sense of reverence. “thank you,” he said quietly. “i knew you were the right fit for me.” the session continued with a shift in atmosphere. taeyong seemed more at ease, his demeanor less guarded and more open. the conversation flowed with a new ease, and you felt a strange sense of fulfillment. the machine gun, despite its ominous presence, seemed to be a catalyst for something deeper between you.

as the session drew to a close, you found yourself reluctant to leave, savoring the brief moments of connection and understanding. you had made significant strides with taeyong, and the realization that he trusted you so deeply was both exhilarating and unsettling. the rest of the day was spent in a haze of reflection. you sorted through files and paperwork, your mind frequently drifting back to him and the connection you shared. the solitude of your office seemed less oppressive, the quiet punctuated by thoughts of him. each task felt like a distraction from the growing realization that, in taeyong, you had found a source of profound connection.

in the quiet of your office, surrounded by the mundane tasks of your work, you couldn’t shake the feeling that something significant had shifted. the loneliness that had once felt so encompassing now seemed to have been touched by the fleeting moments of intimacy and connection you had shared with him. you were less alone than you had been before, and yet, the path you were on was fraught with moral and emotional complexity.

the night fell over the asylum with a chilling, almost suffocating stillness. you were at your desk, sorting through a mountain of paperwork, the dim light casting shadows over the piles of files. the routine of your task offered a semblance of normalcy, a brief respite from the whirlwind of emotions and decisions that had consumed you lately. you were lost in the monotony of sorting and filing when an unsettling noise shattered the silence.

the distant sounds of gunshots, crashing furniture, and frantic screams pierced through the walls. your heart leapt into your throat as the reality of what was unfolding outside became painfully clear. Instinctively, you ducked under your desk, your breaths coming in ragged gasps as you tried to stifle the rising panic. the noises outside were chaotic, a cacophony of violence and fear that seemed to grow louder by the second.

taeyong’s plan had taken shape, and the asylum was in disarray. he had enlisted the help of several other inmates, each fueled by the same chaotic energy that defined taeyong himself. the sound of gunfire rang out intermittently, each shot a reminder of the danger that now surrounded you. the air was thick with tension, and you could hear the muffled sounds of struggle and conflict as the inmates carried out their rebellion.

the commotion grew closer, and suddenly, two figures burst into your office. your heart pounded in your chest as they grabbed you roughly by the arms. you struggled against their grip, your cries of protest barely audible over the tumult outside. they dragged you to your desk and, despite your frantic attempts to break free, began restraining you with the belts from straitjackets. the leather straps cut into your skin as they bound your arms and legs to the desk, rendering you immobile.

you pleaded with them, your voice trembling with fear and desperation. “please, don’t do this. let me go. i’ll do anything.”

the inmates remained silent, their faces impassive as they completed their task. the office, once a place of calm and control, was now a prison, its familiar surroundings now oppressive and alien. as the last of the restraints were secured, the door creaked open, and taeyong stepped into the room. his appearance was striking against the backdrop of screams. he was calm, almost serene, despite the mayhem that had unfolded. the sight of him brought a mix of relief and dread. you gazed up at him, your eyes wide with terror as you tried to make sense of what was happening.

“taeyong,” you said, your voice quivering. “are you really gonna kill me?”

he walked towards you with an unsettling calm, his expression unreadable. as he neared, he paused, his gaze locking with yours. “i’m not going to kill you,” he assured, his voice soft but carrying a chilling edge. “i just need to hurt you enough to make sure you’ll be mine.”

the words hung heavy in the air, and your heart raced as you watched him produce a small metal device from his pocket. the sight of the electric shock equipment made your blood run cold. it was an instrument of pain, and its presence signaled a new level of cruelty.

to your surprise, taeyong’s expression softened, and he took a step closer. “i know you thought you were helping me,” he said, his tone almost apologetic. “but now it’s my turn to help you.”

the device was cold against your skin as he pressed it to your head. a jolt of electricity surged through you, and your body convulsed involuntarily. the sensation was overwhelming, a harsh intrusion into your consciousness. you felt your mind slipping away from the present, a series of fragmented images and memories flashing before your eyes.

your mother’s face appeared, her eyes filled with pain and sorrow. then, your father, followed by your grandparents, each visage a poignant reminder of loss. the images shifted and morphed, replaced by a vision of yourself with taeyong. you were working together, your roles reversed, with him now a cured man, living with you in a semblance of normalcy. the visions continued, showing a future that was both alluring and terrifying. you saw yourselves speeding down a highway, the police in hot pursuit. the trunk of your car was filled with money, a symbol of the danger and thrill that had become intertwined with your relationship. the exhilaration of the chase was intense, but it was overshadowed by an undercurrent of dread.

the final image was the most haunting. you saw yourself detached, your love for taeyong twisted into something unrecognizable. the thrill had turned into a grim reality, the danger of your actions reflected in the cold, hard truths of your choices. the vision was a cruel reminder of the consequences that awaited you, the stark reality of a future bound by the darkness you had embraced.

as the electric shock subsided, your body trembled uncontrollably. your mind was a whirlpool of conflicting emotions and revelations. you felt a profound sense of numbness, the shock leaving you disoriented and frightened. the room seemed to close in around you, what used to be a familiar space now a prison of your own making. in the end, you wished it had killed you. death seemed more reasonable, more promising, than what the future had in store for you.

✧.*

a/n: requested fic!!! the smut part at least i really dk where i was going with this plot lol

taeyong is a sub and i will die on this hill ngl!!

LEE TAEYONG led a double life, one that he was well aware of, one that he was absolutely proud of. on stage, he was a beast. he made sure to emphasize his charisma, the energy he radiated as he danced and rapped. he made sure to perform, to put on a show. he held himself together, his composure strung by threaded lies that made those who watched him perform believe that he was a force not to be reckoned with. it was exactly what he was good at, it was his job to put on a show.

when the lights were dimmed and the cameras turned off, that was when he let his true colors show. it was a gradual process, baby steps that eased those around him into the light of his personality. when he wasn’t performing, he was giddy. smiling with his members like a little kid, or entertaining his fans during his lives. it was a way for everybody to dip their toes into the water, to get a glimpse of what taeyong was really like. however, despite those glimpses, nobody would get to see him at his realest. nobody but you.

he was able to perform in front of everybody, just not in front of you. no, it was different with you. he was raw, vulnerable. instead of towering, he crumbled, he was completely and utterly at your full disposal. you could do whatever you wanted to him and he would take it. in fact, he would beg for more, that was how much he trusted you. he knew you could look into his soul and recognize his most twisted, sick thoughts, and still love him the same. it was exactly what you were good at.

“please,” he whimpered, his voice shaking with every breath he took. “hurts so good.” he was a mess, he always was, yet he managed to look perfect. in your eyes, he was always perfect. his pale, porcelain skin was glazed with sweat and spit, his lips red and swollen from being kissed by you and chewed raw by him, his eyes were glazed with the same tears that stained his cheeks, and his fingers wrapped around the stained bedsheets beneath his naked, bruised body. yes, he was absolutely perfect.

you cooed at the sight of him as you worked your fist, jacking him off at a ridiculously fast pace as more tears slid down his cheeks. “you want me to stop, tae?” your tone was condescending, low and mean, but he couldn't control the way it made his cock twitch in your hand. he knew it, and you did too. “want me to stop when you’re so close?”

there were no lies told, he was close, on the brink of cumming. again, for the fourth time in a row. he wasn’t sure how much more he could take, but he wanted to take as much as possible for you. he was willing to stain the sheets a fourth time and let his mind shut off for a few seconds if it meant you’d be pleased with him. “no,” he whimpered, his trembling hands wiping away the stray tears before latching onto your wrists. “i can take it.” it was a lie, if the way his thighs quivered were any indication, but you knew you could coax one more out of him.

“that’s a good boy, so good for me, yeah?” you cooed before spitting some more on the tip of his dick, smearing it all over and mixing it with the precum that had oozed out a while ago. if the way you praised him wasn’t enough to send him towards the edge, the way you spat on him definitely was. he chewed at his lip to bite back a moan as he bucked his hips into your fist, desperately chasing the high he was so afraid of. “so needy, thought you couldn't take it anymore.”

he shook his head as he clutched the bedsheets, knuckles whitening as he held onto the still slippery sheets. “i can take it,” he repeated softly. the sheets were slick with his cum, alongside your juices that had come together. you reached over with your free hand and ran it alongside his chest, the feather-like touch sending shivers down his spine. you smiled at the feedback, running your fingers alongside his nipples just to hear his sweet little gasps before pinching them ever so softly.

his mouth hung open at the sensation, spit trickling down his chin as he continued to buck his hips, so close to cumming. you noticed the way his fingers probed at the wet sheets, a smile gracing your face at the sight. “got your fingers dirty from the mess we made, yeah?” he nodded weakly as he traced the sticky mess. “clean your fingers, baby. can you do that?” it was over for him, absolutely over. he nodded once more as he brought his fingers to his lips, sticky with your arousal and his seed. it wasn’t gross to him, it never was. he was quick to comply, wrapping his bruised lips around them and taking them whole as he sucked the sweetness off.

the sight only encouraged you to show less mercy, your eyes darkening as you fisted his cock harder, your thumb coming up to probe the tip of his hard, red dick. your other hand remained steady on his chest, toying with his nipples as you leaned forward to make a bigger mess of him. his eyes widened as you attached your lips to his balls, gently suckling and probing at the sturdy flesh. he had opened his mouth to say something, but a silent scream fell from his lips. he saw white as he came, his entire body quivering under your touch. you didn't stop, not even as he shot ropes of sticky white for the fourth time, coating his stomach and the sheets with his seed once more.

tears streamed down his cheeks once again, sobs wracking his body from the overwhelming pleasure. you met his teary gaze as you finally brought yourself up, planting kisses all over his face. “don’t cry, baby, you did so good,” you assured him as you brushed away the sweaty strands of hair plastered to his forehead. he sniffled as you wiped his tears away, his face softening only for a second. he let himself calm down, savoring the moment while it lasted, until you spoke once more. “you can give me one more, can’t you?” of course he could, he always could.

Birthday surprises, unexpected turns

C(S). Taeyong x Reader | WC. 1275 | G. Fluff

The end of June was always an exciting time. The payoff of month-long planning and hard work paid off when you were able to surprise your beloved for his birthday, however, this year the birthday plans had to be slightly pushed back due to his hectic schedule.

Taeyong had just made his solo debut and the month-long promotions included celebrating his special day with the rest of the NCT 127 members and fans, which meant you could only see him after his birthday. You didn’t mind celebrating a little later, as it gave you more time to plan your surprise for Taeyong to perfection. 

“Buuuuubbbbuuuu where are we goiiiinnng…..?” whines Taeyong from his spot in the passenger seat. 

Taking a peak at the time on the dashboard, it showed that it had been 37 minutes since you asked Taeyong to be dressed up and wait for you outside the private entrance of his dorms. Taeyong could never say no to you and happily obliged, but what he hadn’t planned was for you to remain tight-lipped about where you were taking him, despite his best attempt to coerce the information, pleading round eyes and all. 

“Patience bubu, we’re almost there” you reason, hoping that would hold him off for just a little while longer as your destination was fast approaching.

Dropping his shoulders and he turned back to face the front window. Taeyong’s attention was caught in the breathtaking fields of flowers that surrounded the road, illuminated by a soft golden hue as the sun began to settle for the night. He pulled out his phone to capture a small piece of the moment. 

As day turned to dusk, you two finally arrived at your destination, a corn field located outside of the bustling city of Seoul.

“We’re here!” 

Unbuckling your seatbelt, you hurry out of the car, allowing your legs and back to get their much deserved stretch after almost an hour and a half of driving.

Sensing a missing presence you turn back to the car and catch Taeyong still seated inside. His face now sporting another pout as he scanned the outside surroundings. 

You motion for him to come outside which he begrudgingly agrees to after a muted sigh. He pulls himself out of the car, closing the door behind him and making sure to look in all directions before walking over to your side, there was nothing there...

“If you were a stranger, I would assume you’re trying to get me killed love,” he voices, eyebrows furrowed. His eyes move side to side at the unknown sounds scattered from the field. Grabbing your hand once he hears a particularly loud cricket.

“Trust me, I intend to keep every hair on your head safe Taeyong,” you assure. “I do, however, have an amazing surprise for you.”

“I’m looking and all I see is a cornfield,” he counters, not one bit convinced of your “amazing surprise.”

“Well duh,” you poke his cheek. “The surprise is inside.”

He turns to your digging daggers into your eyes.

“I, have to go inside? Like inside this MAZE?? In The DARK?!?”

To think he would have been totally dandy going into the maze without any convincing was a long shot, but half the battle was simply getting to the maze so your surprise was still going smoothly.

“WAIT! I know what will help, flashlights.”

You rush over to the truck of the car, opening it up to find the two big flashlights you had packed, with two sets of backup batteries of course. 

Walking back over you wave the flashlights like a prize, hoping it could convince him to at least explore the maze.

“Look Taeyong, now we can get to the centre with no problem”

Taeyong sends you a glare with arms now crossed, a very clear indication that your solution didn’t convince him any further of going inside.

“In your dreams, I’m not going in there.” Tone firm and with a straight face.

“Tae pleasee,” you whine with your own version of pleading round eyes.

He looks away, fearing his will not strong enough to deny you your request. It only takes a few more “pleeease”s, and maybe a couple of kisses to convince him that all of it will be worth it if he just agrees to step into the maze. 

“Ughhhh, fine.” 

Grabbing a flashlight in one hand and your hand in the other, Taeyong takes a deep breath before walking towards the corn maze, praying he wouldn’t have any regrets after saying yes to your adorable face that he simply could never resist or deny.

Three steps inside and his steps have already come to a halt, looking both ways and trying to determine which direction to head in. 

You, having literally planned the entire surprise, pull him in the left direction. Recalling the corn maze map that you spent weeks remembering, you weave through the directions with an arm still tugging Taeyong’s arm. 

A couple more turns and twists, but right before you sense the spot in which your surprise is waiting, you come to an abrupt halt and Taeyong bumps into your back. 

“Taeyong quick close your eyes” 

“What? Why?” he asks. “How will I walk?”

“I’ll lead you to the end, don’t worry I’ll go slowly.” 

He cocks an eyebrow but nonetheless closes his eyes.

Taking his hand this time, you walk him around the corner of the maze and right into the middle of the surprise.

“Ok open now!”

The immediate sight that greets him upon opening his eyes is a gingham blanket spread out on the floor decorated with a sign reading “HAPPY BIRTHDAY TY” and seating pillows. A cooler and picnic basket is placed on one side of the blanket.

Around the shrubs of the maze are an assortment of paper streamers and fairy lights strung up, twinkling and fluttering against the moonlight shining from above.

You move to sit down as Taeyong takes in the decoration, eyes wide with fascination.

Opening the cooler you fish out the small cake box you prepared, nothing too fancy, just a small chocolate cake with strawberries shaped into roses. In your basket, you find the candle and lighter. With Taeyong still distracted you place the candle in the centre.

“Love, come sit,” you call to him.

He rips his gaze from the lights to you and rushes over, finding his spot in front of you and the cake.

Lifting up the cake you use a free hand to light the candle. 

“It’s your birthday, make a wish.” You inwardly cringe at the reference but it's enough to have Taeyong bust out a smile.

Closing his eyes for a bit he blows out the candle from the side so as to not fan the smoke to your face.

“Love!, I can’t believe you did all this for me. I can’t believe I was so scared to come but if I didn’t…..”

As he starts to ramble on and on about how amazing your surprise was and how much he loves you, he doesn't notice your hand inching up to the cake, swiping the cake of its frosting. 

You nod along, listening to him ramble until your hand reaches his face, smearing the chocolate frosting against his cheek, stunning him in the middle of his romantic spiel.

“You have a little something on your face, love,” you point out giggling.

“Oh, do I? 

He doesn’t let you answer. Leaning in and softly kissing and transferring the frosting onto your cheek. Both of you now becoming a giggling mess, covered in frosting.

“There, now we both have something on our faces.”

END TO START - LEE TAEYONG X READER

Navi - M.list

Pairing: Soulmate!Johnny x Soulmate! reader, Taeyong x reader. ( Ft Mark, Jungwoo, Ten, Jaehyun, Taeil, Yuta. Mentions Jaemin once.)

Genre: Heavy angst my guys, soulmates au, neo frat au, university au, fluff, Hanahaki Soulmate trope.

Synopsis: Taeyong had been perfectly happy to sit back and watch you and Johnny be together. However, when he starts to notice certain behaviors that are all too familiar, he finds himself unable to watch you slowly die. Just because Johnny may not love you anymore... doesn't mean Taeyong doesn't love you either.

wc: 4.9k

Warnings: Heavy angst, Blood, Mentions of death, suffering, choking, johnny is unfaithful, it's a Hanahaki au so they basically cough up dead and thorned flowers. It's not a graphic description but there are descriptions of pain too, mentions of weight loss due to being unwell, Unrequited love, hurt, Taeyong's been in love with the reader since before her and Johnny got together, heavy rejection, soulmate rejection ( Just because i have written this does NOT mean that i think any one of the nct members would cheat or act thi way. this is pure FICTION.) Please let me know if i have missed any warnings

Note: Hi! I have a few fics in the works but I'm worried I wont get them done for Halloween. So, I am blessing you with this heart-breaking fic. I wanted to release this fic early as a thank you for all your love on Operation Rizz! Now, this is the same frat universe as all my other NCT fics. they can all be read as stand alone though, so don't worry! Any feedback is once again appreciated. I do not own the concept of Hanahaki.

Likes and reblogs are appreciated

Soulmates were supposed to be someone's everything—the one person who was meant specifically for them. Someone you can lean on and cherish, who would dote and adore you. Someone to dish out as much love to you as you unto them. To stay by your side and grow old together. However, some people are already at that stage when they meet their destined person. There was also the worry of some people not having a soulmate. Legend says that only the blessed are gifted with such. 

Gifted? Yes. To many, the Soulmate system is a curse - depending on what type you are assigned to. Tattoos? Easy. Mind reading? Okay a little more difficult. Red string? That practically takes you straight to them.  Eternal life? Near impossible! You could spend many years with someone you thought was a soulmate only to see a wrinkle and realize you aren’t made for each other at all. Seeing things in black and white only to suddenly be overwhelmed with color at a music festival and not know who the hell you’d bumped into in that massive crowd that could possibly be your soulmate. Not everyone even had a soulmate, they could be with whoever they wanted without consequences. 

But there was one type in particular that nobody wanted. Hanahaki. Named after the fictional Japanese Hanahaki Disease. It comes from the Japanese words Hana - meaning flower and Hakimasu - quite literally meaning, to throw up. 

In a soulmate's case, when they first meet each other a seed is awakened. It grows thorned roses - the flowers of love - cradling the person’s heart and twining around inside their lungs. For the most part, other than the occasional flutter and heartburn, it goes unnoticeable. So long as the soulmate reciprocates the feelings of love. But, should one soulmate start to fall out of love? The other will suffer terribly. The flowers will die, the spikey stems squeezing at the organs they were once gently caressing with love. Crushing in their anguish.

Of course, unlike the other soulmate types, there are two ways out of Hanahaki... Let the weight of the unreciprocated love drag on painfully until you die, or convince your health insurance to accept the cost of the operation to remove the offending plants. However, by the time one realizes they are soulmates, it is likely that the bond has already been unreciprocated. 

Taeyong knew this. He knew this because it happened to him. He had once been on the receiving end of the agonizing scratch of dead rose stems climbing up his throat in a mess of blood and wilted petals. Taeyong had nearly died. He recognized the signs clearly and that was the reason he was so shocked to see them in who he did. 

Johnny’s soulmate.

Taeyong first took notice when you walked through the door of the club. A celebration night to celebrate the frat’s anniversary alongside Taeyong’s new choreographer position in the dance studio he works in. Your face had a slightly paler tone and although you were doing a good job at keeping your breathing even… Taeyong recognized the telltale signs of a wince when you took the air in too harshly. 

But when he saw Johnny approach you and press a loving kiss to your forehead, he scolded himself for thinking such things. Taeyong knew something was up though, your smile didn’t meet your eyes and when you congratulated him with a hug, he swore he could feel your body tremble. 

He tried not to worry too much throughout the night but when he saw Johnny by the bar, his charming smile dazzled at some sorority girls that had been invited… Taeyong wondered where you’d gone. The disappointment within him only grew when he watched his best friend and frat brother go home with one of them. 

So, maybe his suspicions were correct. A few weeks passed and he’d not seen a glimpse of you, Johnny hadn’t even uttered your name. The rapper hadn’t had time to sit him down and ask him about the incident. Until now. 

Taeyong dabbed the sweat from his brow with the neckline of his shirt, swiping his water bottle from the floor. He shuffled toward his friend, watching as he grinned at his phone as he typed. He was talking to someone and Taeyong only hoped it was you. That you’d both mended things to stop it getting worse. The thought of it all being a misunderstanding had a relieved smile spreading across his face as he settled on the floor next to Johnny. 

“You texting ____? Tell her I said Hey.” Taeyong said, twisting the cap off his drink to take a swig. Taeyong was almost taken aback at the irritated flash that crossed Johnny’s expression at the mention of your name. 

If Taeyong wasn’t so observant, he would have missed it. Johnny shook his head, swiftly locking his phone when his leader went to peer over his shoulder. “It’s not. It’s Yuki.” 

Taeyong’s eyebrows scrunched, posture freezing for a moment. “The sorority girl you went home with?” He tried to keep his tone level. Memories of the same thing happening to himself reoccur in his mind. “What about ____?” The question hung awkwardly in the air, Johnny staring at Taeyong as if he’d asked something ridiculous. 

“What about her?” He shrugged. “Just because I do stupid things, doesn't mean I don’t love her. She’s my soulmate.” He paused, an almost defeated sigh sagging at his shoulders. “The only one I got.” 

Taeyong took notice of the slight bitterness in his words. Almost as if he didn’t realize that he did it. “Do you?” 

Johnny rubbed at the back of his neck, his mouth opening but no words coming out. Once again, a defeated shrug of his shoulders. “Yeah… yes.” He cleared his throat as his voice broke. “I’m sure we’d of noticed by now if I hadn’t.”  Johnny left no room for debate, standing up with a clap of his hands to suggest they continue their lacrosse practice.

You knew. You knew Johnny’s feelings for you were dwindling. You were reminded every time you coughed. Reminded by the way your breath left you in an agonizing squeeze when Johnny would kiss your forehead.  

But, even though you knew… it didn’t make you love him any less. You knew what he got up to when your nights weren't spent together. You didn’t do a thing, didn’t bring it up. You almost tried to ignore it. You loved Johnny. You always would. And, as long as you continued to love him, he wouldn’t have the same fate as you. You would never wish this pain on him even if he was the cause. 

You wished you’d heeded Mark’s seemingly lighthearted warning at the beginning of your relationship. ‘He’s one of my closest friends but he doesn’t always do the right thing, just… please be careful.’ Mark had said one evening. You hadn’t truly understood why he had said it, nor did you get to question him before Johnny had slid his arm around your middle. 

You understood perfectly now. Especially as a sharp tickle wheezed in the back of your throat, your eyes discreetly scanning the new text message from your seat at the very back row of English lit class. ‘Can we rain check date night again? Coach is being a hardass and wants us to stay late.’ For the third week running, the same excuse. Sure, you’d seen Johnny. But Thursday was always date night. Something you’d both stuck to like glue once before. 

Pain twisted in your chest, your breath rough. You brought the sleeve of your hoodie to your mouth, attempting a discreet cough. It didn’t do anything for you, the feeling like you’d swallowed razorblades. The world felt like it was spinning for a moment and you had to close your eyes and count to ten to steady it again. 

One look at your sleeve had you frowning. The next stage had started. You’d read about this. Discoloured petals. You’d only coughed up one but one was enough for you to be sure. With one last attempt at clearing your throat, you brushed the blackened petal to the ground. 

Taeyong shared this class with you. Whilst he didn’t often sit next to you, he was mostly always on the same row. Not many people occupied the back row and so, when he heard the muffled hack come from your direction he had looked over, shoulders tensing as he watched you. 

He approached you at the end of class, watching your sluggish movements as you shoved your laptop back into your bag. “____, Are you alright?” He asked softly, noting the sheen of sickly sweat coasting your forehead. 

Lips pressed firmly together, you nodded. You were certain if you opened your mouth you'd start coughing and choking again but you didn’t want to be rude. “I’m fine.” Bad idea. “Sorry, Yong, I gotta go-” Taeyong had never heard your voice so scratchy and coarse. He had also never seen you flee so quickly before he could even open his mouth, your notepad falling from your unzipped bag as you vanished before his eyes. 

As he knelt down to collect it from the ground, his fingers made contact with a velvety, withered texture. 

A blackened rose petal. 

 The next time Taeyong saw you, you were much worse than he could have imagined. He had only turned up at your apartment because he assumed Johnny had left his phone at your place. He couldn’t really understand the rushed words of ‘Shit! I left my phone at her place, I’m already late!’ When Taeyong offered to go and get it, he naturally thought of your place. 

So when you answered the door, he was standing frozen at the sight of you. Your eyes had bags under them that would put JFK airport to shame. Your complexion was grey, lips cracked and dry. Taeyong could definitely see you’d lost some weight too, your knitted sweater nearly slipping off one shoulder. His gaze caught onto the marks along your neck, long red streaks almost looking like you had been clawing at it in your agony. Your winced call of his name kicked his brain into gear. 

“Now isn’t a good ti-” His hands flew out to rub and pat your back as your words were interrupted. 

Taeyong’s heart broke as he watched you struggle. You couldn’t get your breath, your face turning red from the strenuosity. Taeyong backed you into your apartment, kicking the door closed behind him. He sat you on your couch, disappearing from view for a moment.

You didn’t even take note of what exactly was being thrust under your nose, only that it would catch what your body rejected. One of his hands held the bucket, the other sweeping your hair away from your face. It was all too familiar for him. Except for Taeyong, he had done it alone. 

“It’s okay, ____” He hushed, palm flattened over your back to rub comforting circles. “Breath through your nose and count to ten. It helps.” 

You did as such, shoulders relaxing as the air finally seeped into your lungs. You wiped your mouth with the back of your hand, sighing at the crimson residue that was becoming all too familiar. You opened your mouth to speak, only to be gently hushed once more. 

“It’s okay, it’ll hurt too much if you talk.” He set the bucket down on the side table. “You should get yourself some grapeseed oil. A teaspoon a day should at least prevent the attacks so often.” Taeyong didn’t look at you as he spoke, his hands busying themselves with opening the small drawer to your coffee table in search of tissues. 

“You mean this?” You rasped, pulling the small droplet bottle from your pocket, and setting it down on the surface before you. Taeyong’s eyebrows creased. 

It was the exact same bottle he was sure he had. Though, catching sight of the label on the bottle he knew it was his bottle. ‘Taeyong’  scribbled messily on the labeled sticker. He looked at you expectantly. 

“Johnny gave it to me.” Just uttering his name sent a pang of hurt through you, a wave of emotion rippling from your jaw to the tips of your toes. 

Taeyong understood immediately, a deep sigh resonating as he nodded once. “He knows then.” To which you nodded, eyes fixed on your lap. 

He had never seen you cry, and he would hate to admit it but your eyes looked pretty when you did. It was as if the glaze of tears enhanced the colors of your iris. “He doesn’t know it’s this bad. He thinks the tickle has just started.” 

“____, you’re dying and you’re telling me Johnny hasn’t noticed yet?” To say that Taeyong was in disbelief was an understatement. The new knowledge that Johnny knew now had floored him. 

Why? Because Johnny hadn’t once let it show. Taeyong had been around the guy all week and he was still the happy comedic genius he always was. Not a hint of anything bothering him. 

“Yong, It’s okay. I..” You drew your knees up to your chest, patting the spot next to you for him. “I’ve come to terms with it.” 

“Come to terms with it?!” He spluttered. “____, you are in your twenties! You can’t be okay with dying in your twenties.” His hand raked through his hair, eyes blinking rapidly like he couldn't come to terms with how calm you looked right now. 

Taeyong could feel the anger bubbling up in his chest, his gaze hardening as he addressed you once more. “You know he’s been seeing her too, don’t you?”

You were silent, shame eating at your subconscious. “If I ignore it then he won’t have to be like this too.” 

Taeyong sprung up to his feet. “Wake up! He’s out there living his life with no regrets and you’re the one to suffer? I can’t…” He shook his head, shoving his clenched fists into his pockets. “I’m sorry, I just-” With one last shake of his head, Taeyong left you there. The slam of your front door announcing his absence.

Johnny remembered the conversation between the two of you very clearly. He was convinced he still loved you a lot. Just not in the way you need. At first, he thought it was doubt, but as time went on he started to notice the dry tickly cough and the abundance of petals scattered in your trash. He was sure it wasn’t harmful yet, certain that he still held the love in his heart for you. 

Johnny didn’t love Yuki. She was fun. She was different. She wasn’t you. He could spend time with her without any strings attached. It was freeing, knowing he wasn't destined to be with her no matter what. 

He felt guilt at first. He didn’t like lying to you, but it was for his own selfish gain that he did. Johnny had seen Taeyong go through the pain and near death of a soulmate falling out of love, he didn’t want that for himself. Johnny had too much to live for, as arrogant and self-centred as that sounded. 

 He remembered what you said when he gave you the vial of grapeseed oil, how your shaky hands had placed over his own. How you told him it was okay, it wasn’t his fault. But Johnny couldn’t help but think it was. Johnny tried so hard to make himself love you still. Your words of comfort swirled in his mind and kept him up at night. ‘Nobody can help who they do and don’t love. Feelings change, People don’t’ You’d said to him.

Johnny felt ashamed. Being unfaithful to you whilst you still loved him with every ounce of your soul. Deep down, Johnny knew you only had two options he just hoped you made a decision before it was too late. 

Taeyong had been seen by barely anyone all week. It was as if he was attending his classes and then picking up every extra shift or odd job imaginable. The Neos were even more shocked when Mark slapped a flier down on the dining table ping pong table in front of some of the brothers. A for sale flier, advertising their frat leader’s motorcycle. The very same one that he cherished and spent a fortune to modify. 

“Do you think he’s in debt?” Jungwoo frowned, setting his beer on the table. 

That question alone earned a chortled laugh. “Woo, we’re in university. We’re all in debt.” Yuta clapped him on the back. “But, on a serious note, He’s been acting super weird lately.” 

Everyone launched into debate, trying to determine why Taeyong would be selling his pride and joy so suddenly. Conversation ceased when the front door opened and the man in question shuffled into the open-plan living space with an exhausted wave. 

“Ty, are you actually selling the bandit?” The question came from Taeil, Neo frat’s oldest member. 

Taeyong moved through the living area, taking a seat at one of the beanbags littered around the table. “Already sold it.” He bobbed his head in a nod. 

It earned him many concerned looks. “Are you in trouble or something? Are you trying to cover the water bill from when Mark broke the faucet?” 

“No, Jae. I’m not in trouble. It’s not for me.”  He reassured, his voice dying down quietly. “It’s for ____.” 

Everyone stopped. Mark locked his phone, Yuta stopped chipping at his nail polish, and Taeil nearly spat out his beer. Jaehyun and Jungwoo were already staring at him. 

“Why?”

Taeyong took a deep breath, anticipating the question.It didn’t take long for him to catch them up to speed.  “You haven’t noticed? I can’t watch her die. Even if she’s come to terms with it.” 

“She’s not been to class for a few weeks. Professor Choi just straight-up skips over her name now. I’m guessing they know.” Jaehyun hummed. 

“Hm, Jaemin said he saw her last week on his midnight ramen run.” Mark recalled, “Said she looked like something out of living dead.” 

“Mark,” Taeyong gave him a warning look. The younger just shrugged his shoulders. “I’m going to book the operation for her. She doesn’t know. I just need the deposit. After that, it’s monthly payments. I can scrape enough together for the monthly just fine.” He looked pained. “Whenever I see her, it’s like I’m watching myself go through it again.” 

One by one, Jaehyun, Mark, Jungwoo, Yuta, and Taeil offered their help. 

The six of them didn’t make it known what their plans were but soon enough, after Taeyong had put what he had already saved with what the others offered, it was enough. He rocked up to the private medical center, cash in an envelope that was tucked neatly within the inside pocket of his jacket. 

Taeyong was pleasantly surprised that he was allowed to schedule and pay the deposit on your behalf. Acting on best interest. The receptionist did stress that you needed to fill in the form and sign consent upon arrival but Taeyong was more pleased that he was giving you a chance at life. That there was a possibility that you could carry on.

What he didn’t expect, was your immediate refusal when he brought the leaflet and forms over to your apartment the following morning. The smile dropped from his face as you tried to hide away from him.  ‘He could die.’ You’d cried at him. And whilst it had been proven he wouldn't, you were convinced. 

“He won’t, ____.” Taeyong begged. “Please, you can’t just accept this.” The bed dipped as he sat on the edge. The many times he had visited you now, you had always been. The last time you got up to open the door, Taeyong honestly worried that you would pass away right there on the doorstep. He took your spare key after that. 

Taeyong’s gentle fingers lifted the damp wash cloth from the bowl at your bedside, running the cool material over your brow and cheeks. A light smile twitched at the corner of your lips, the sensation easing your fever, only a little but it was better than before. He knew he wasn’t going to get many more words from you this evening. You’d exhausted yourself already for the evening. Taeyong was just content enough to sit here and care for you. 

Honestly, before it was known that you were Johnny’s soulmate, Taeyong had hoped you’d notice him. He had often found himself wishing that it wouldn’t last so he could at least have a shot with you. His hopes were crushed when Johnny had run through the fraternity declaring you were both soulmates. Taeyong had made peace with the idea that maybe he was meant to be alone, satisfied just by seeing you whenever Johnny brought you over to hang out. 

He never wished for this, though. 

Tenderest of touches brushed your hair away from where it had clung to your forehead. Taeyong clicking on the standing fan in an attempt to offer you some cool relief. “Trust me, ____.” He whispered, voice brittle. “I went through this.” His confession had your right eye cracking open. 

“Back in the first year,” Taeyong recalled. “Watching you and Johnny go through this… it’s like a mirror. I nearly died,” He picked up your hand, engulfing it in both of his own. “I refused the operation until it was nearly too late. For the same reason, actually.” 

Your fingers twitched in his own, your index finger hooking around his thumb to offer comfort. You have suspected Taeyong had some close experience with this. Especially in the way he always seemed to understand your pain, the sad gazes, and his drive to help you. You had never expected that he would be the one in your position though. The meer thought had tears welling up in your eyes. You seemed to cry a lot around the man these days. 

“He didn’t die though. Apparently, he just… coughed up the root.” He lifted your hand, the ghosting feeling of his lips against your knuckles. “I promise you, Johnny won’t die… At least think about it.” To which you nodded in agreement. 

Taeyong made you soup, your favorite kind. You weren’t even sure how he knew it was your favorite but he did. He parted from you with a lingering kiss to your hairline. Just like every night. This form of unrequited love seemed to of hurt him more than his last. 

He’d left the forms and leaflets on the empty bed space by your feet.

You’d asked Taeyong not to come over for the last four days. As worried as he was, he had to respect your wishes. You didn’t want him to see your sudden decline as you entered the last stage of the rejection. Meaning, that Johnny had almost fallen completely out of love with you now. 

You were expecting it, Taeyong too. You and Johnny had broken things off the last time you saw each other. Both of you doing so without even having to clarify the matter. He was free. Almost. 

Taeyong had been stressed all week, even his frat brothers had given him a wide berth. Many put it down to the lacrosse game the pending evening. Only a select few really knew that it was because today was the same day Taeyong had scheduled for your surgery. 

He hadn’t known it was the same day as the game, Jungwoo uttering the words with caution the day before. Taeyong swore to himself that he thought he booked it for next week. He didn’t even know if you were going to accept it… Any time he brought it up you tended to change the subject. 

How Taeyong managed to even pass the ball with steady swings amazed even himself, his hands hadn’t stopped shaking. He had nearly skipped the game in favor of being with you, but he knew he couldn’t.  The game had gone smoothly, they were winning by one. In fact, Johnny had to take the penalty shot. 

The whole field waited on bated breath, all eyes on Johnny as he just stood there, his expression morphed in such a way that Taeyong exchanged a look with Jaehyun.

“Seo! Take the damn shot already!” The coach didn’t even get through his ending word before Johnny’s form curled over, knees slamming into the ground. 

Taeyong rushed over as his friend tore off his helmet and spat his mouthguard to the ground. He would worry about that later. Taeyong slid to his knees beside Johnny, his own helmet crashing to the ground out of his grip. 

Johnny had never felt such pain. His airways were burning. The sensation in his chest felt like all the oxygen was being torn from him. The team crowded around him, blocking anyone else's view of the scene.  A choked cough left his throat, a shout of agony following after. Petals. Blood. Stems.  The flower was unwinding itself, pulling at the roots from within his chest and lungs. 

The team managed to maneuver Johnny back to the locker rooms, it took four of them to carry him but soon the male was slumped against the tiles of the showers. Taeyong was beside him once again. “Cough it up Johnny, you’ll do more damage if you don’t.” He tugged Johnny’s arm to sit him forward, his fist thumping down in the center of his back. “Johnny, come on!” 

To say Taeyong was relieved when Johnny finally started coughing again was an understatement. “You gotta carry it on, it’ll hurt but I’ve got you.” He pleaded over the sound of his friend’s cries and chokes. 

Johnny doesn’t know how long he continuously coughed for. All he knew was the last one to shake through his body finally offered him release, Taeyong tugging him away from the mangled mix of plant and blood only to rip him, Johnny, from his shock-induced state by shoving him under the freezing cold shower stream - kit and all. 

A big, clear breath left him. 

“What the fuck, John?” Ten peaked his head around the corner, having raced in after the team to check on his best friend. 

“Dude, that's your flower.” Mark grimaced, crouched down next to the offending object. 

The announcement made Johnny’s spine straighten, and Taeyong hung his head. “What does it mean?” Johnny shakily stood, pressing the button to stop the stream of cold water. 

It was fascinating how Johnny already felt better. He felt no pull in his chest, no weakness even after the whole ordeal. He felt new. But if he felt like this… then what had happened to you? The realization of what had happened weighed heavy on his guilt. 

He turned to address the sort of traumatized, faces around him but it wasn’t him that spoke up. It was Taeyong. “It means I need to find ____.” 

Taeyong had raced past his teammates and into the locker room without any further explanation. His phone cramped between his ear and shoulder as he tugged on his sweats at record speed. “C’mon, Petal. Pick up.” He swore to himself, only removing the device from his ear to throw on a t-shirt from his locker. It was a term of endearment he had taken to calling you of late, though quite often when you were too dazed to notice. 

He ignored the looks of confusion from his friends. Well, from those other than Mark and Jaehyun. From the look on Johnny’s face, he was still piecing things together. Taeyong didn’t have time for that, snatching the keys for the beat-up Honda he had gotten recently and sprinting from the room. 

Taeyong continued to call you on the way to your apartment. He had just hoped you’d gotten yourself to the appointment. He didn’t want to think about the possibility of losing you like this. He found himself afraid to enter your building, scared of what he may find. His head thumped against the steering wheel, eyes burning with unshed tears. You had to be okay. 

His phone buzzed, body jumped when he saw your name flash on the screen. He swiped to answer, bringing it up to his ear with a relieved sigh. “____.” He listened to your breathing for a split second, registering the steady beeps in the background. 

“Is he alive?” Your tone was filled with urgency but your voice was clearer than Taeyong had heard in weeks. It had a relieved laugh bubbling from his chest, salty droplets cascading down his cheeks and leaving his tear ducts with the tension in him. 

“He’s fine.” He sniffled, rubbing at his face. “ Petal, you’re okay. I tho-” You interrupted him with a soothing call of his name. 

“You were right.” He listened to you pause, the sounds of you sipping through a straw present in the receiver. “There are things I do have to live for.” You spoke quietly. “The first one being myself.” 

He hummed in agreement, starting up the car again. “Yeah? I’ll be there soon and you can tell me all about the second, Petal.” He was rewarded with a breathy laugh. “What?”

“Petal.” You murmured, Taeyong could hear the slumber lingering back into your tone. 

“Get some rest. I’ll be there soon.” He was about to pull the phone away from his ear when you quietly called his name again. 

“Yes?” He hummed, clicking the hands-free and setting the phone into the holder on the dash. 

“Can I tell you my second reason?” 

“What’s that, Petal?” He smiled softly to himself. 

“It’s you.”

©Acescavern - I do not give permission for my works to be copied, translated or reposted

END TO START - LEE TAEYONG X READER

Navi - M.list

Pairing: Soulmate!Johnny x Soulmate! reader, Taeyong x reader. ( Ft Mark, Jungwoo, Ten, Jaehyun, Taeil, Yuta. Mentions Jaemin once.)

Genre: Heavy angst my guys, soulmates au, neo frat au, university au, fluff, Hanahaki Soulmate trope.

Synopsis: Taeyong had been perfectly happy to sit back and watch you and Johnny be together. However, when he starts to notice certain behaviors that are all too familiar, he finds himself unable to watch you slowly die. Just because Johnny may not love you anymore... doesn't mean Taeyong doesn't love you either.

wc: 4.9k

Warnings: Heavy angst, Blood, Mentions of death, suffering, choking, johnny is unfaithful, it's a Hanahaki au so they basically cough up dead and thorned flowers. It's not a graphic description but there are descriptions of pain too, mentions of weight loss due to being unwell, Unrequited love, hurt, Taeyong's been in love with the reader since before her and Johnny got together, heavy rejection, soulmate rejection ( Just because i have written this does NOT mean that i think any one of the nct members would cheat or act thi way. this is pure FICTION.) Please let me know if i have missed any warnings

Note: Hi! I have a few fics in the works but I'm worried I wont get them done for Halloween. So, I am blessing you with this heart-breaking fic. I wanted to release this fic early as a thank you for all your love on Operation Rizz! Now, this is the same frat universe as all my other NCT fics. they can all be read as stand alone though, so don't worry! Any feedback is once again appreciated. I do not own the concept of Hanahaki.

Likes and reblogs are appreciated

Soulmates were supposed to be someone's everything—the one person who was meant specifically for them. Someone you can lean on and cherish, who would dote and adore you. Someone to dish out as much love to you as you unto them. To stay by your side and grow old together. However, some people are already at that stage when they meet their destined person. There was also the worry of some people not having a soulmate. Legend says that only the blessed are gifted with such. 

Gifted? Yes. To many, the Soulmate system is a curse - depending on what type you are assigned to. Tattoos? Easy. Mind reading? Okay a little more difficult. Red string? That practically takes you straight to them.  Eternal life? Near impossible! You could spend many years with someone you thought was a soulmate only to see a wrinkle and realize you aren’t made for each other at all. Seeing things in black and white only to suddenly be overwhelmed with color at a music festival and not know who the hell you’d bumped into in that massive crowd that could possibly be your soulmate. Not everyone even had a soulmate, they could be with whoever they wanted without consequences. 

But there was one type in particular that nobody wanted. Hanahaki. Named after the fictional Japanese Hanahaki Disease. It comes from the Japanese words Hana - meaning flower and Hakimasu - quite literally meaning, to throw up. 

In a soulmate's case, when they first meet each other a seed is awakened. It grows thorned roses - the flowers of love - cradling the person’s heart and twining around inside their lungs. For the most part, other than the occasional flutter and heartburn, it goes unnoticeable. So long as the soulmate reciprocates the feelings of love. But, should one soulmate start to fall out of love? The other will suffer terribly. The flowers will die, the spikey stems squeezing at the organs they were once gently caressing with love. Crushing in their anguish.

Of course, unlike the other soulmate types, there are two ways out of Hanahaki... Let the weight of the unreciprocated love drag on painfully until you die, or convince your health insurance to accept the cost of the operation to remove the offending plants. However, by the time one realizes they are soulmates, it is likely that the bond has already been unreciprocated. 

Taeyong knew this. He knew this because it happened to him. He had once been on the receiving end of the agonizing scratch of dead rose stems climbing up his throat in a mess of blood and wilted petals. Taeyong had nearly died. He recognized the signs clearly and that was the reason he was so shocked to see them in who he did. 

Johnny’s soulmate.

Taeyong first took notice when you walked through the door of the club. A celebration night to celebrate the frat’s anniversary alongside Taeyong’s new choreographer position in the dance studio he works in. Your face had a slightly paler tone and although you were doing a good job at keeping your breathing even… Taeyong recognized the telltale signs of a wince when you took the air in too harshly. 

But when he saw Johnny approach you and press a loving kiss to your forehead, he scolded himself for thinking such things. Taeyong knew something was up though, your smile didn’t meet your eyes and when you congratulated him with a hug, he swore he could feel your body tremble. 

He tried not to worry too much throughout the night but when he saw Johnny by the bar, his charming smile dazzled at some sorority girls that had been invited… Taeyong wondered where you’d gone. The disappointment within him only grew when he watched his best friend and frat brother go home with one of them. 

So, maybe his suspicions were correct. A few weeks passed and he’d not seen a glimpse of you, Johnny hadn’t even uttered your name. The rapper hadn’t had time to sit him down and ask him about the incident. Until now. 

Taeyong dabbed the sweat from his brow with the neckline of his shirt, swiping his water bottle from the floor. He shuffled toward his friend, watching as he grinned at his phone as he typed. He was talking to someone and Taeyong only hoped it was you. That you’d both mended things to stop it getting worse. The thought of it all being a misunderstanding had a relieved smile spreading across his face as he settled on the floor next to Johnny. 

“You texting ____? Tell her I said Hey.” Taeyong said, twisting the cap off his drink to take a swig. Taeyong was almost taken aback at the irritated flash that crossed Johnny’s expression at the mention of your name. 

If Taeyong wasn’t so observant, he would have missed it. Johnny shook his head, swiftly locking his phone when his leader went to peer over his shoulder. “It’s not. It’s Yuki.” 

Taeyong’s eyebrows scrunched, posture freezing for a moment. “The sorority girl you went home with?” He tried to keep his tone level. Memories of the same thing happening to himself reoccur in his mind. “What about ____?” The question hung awkwardly in the air, Johnny staring at Taeyong as if he’d asked something ridiculous. 

“What about her?” He shrugged. “Just because I do stupid things, doesn't mean I don’t love her. She’s my soulmate.” He paused, an almost defeated sigh sagging at his shoulders. “The only one I got.” 

Taeyong took notice of the slight bitterness in his words. Almost as if he didn’t realize that he did it. “Do you?” 

Johnny rubbed at the back of his neck, his mouth opening but no words coming out. Once again, a defeated shrug of his shoulders. “Yeah… yes.” He cleared his throat as his voice broke. “I’m sure we’d of noticed by now if I hadn’t.”  Johnny left no room for debate, standing up with a clap of his hands to suggest they continue their lacrosse practice.

You knew. You knew Johnny’s feelings for you were dwindling. You were reminded every time you coughed. Reminded by the way your breath left you in an agonizing squeeze when Johnny would kiss your forehead.  

But, even though you knew… it didn’t make you love him any less. You knew what he got up to when your nights weren't spent together. You didn’t do a thing, didn’t bring it up. You almost tried to ignore it. You loved Johnny. You always would. And, as long as you continued to love him, he wouldn’t have the same fate as you. You would never wish this pain on him even if he was the cause. 

You wished you’d heeded Mark’s seemingly lighthearted warning at the beginning of your relationship. ‘He’s one of my closest friends but he doesn’t always do the right thing, just… please be careful.’ Mark had said one evening. You hadn’t truly understood why he had said it, nor did you get to question him before Johnny had slid his arm around your middle. 

You understood perfectly now. Especially as a sharp tickle wheezed in the back of your throat, your eyes discreetly scanning the new text message from your seat at the very back row of English lit class. ‘Can we rain check date night again? Coach is being a hardass and wants us to stay late.’ For the third week running, the same excuse. Sure, you’d seen Johnny. But Thursday was always date night. Something you’d both stuck to like glue once before. 

Pain twisted in your chest, your breath rough. You brought the sleeve of your hoodie to your mouth, attempting a discreet cough. It didn’t do anything for you, the feeling like you’d swallowed razorblades. The world felt like it was spinning for a moment and you had to close your eyes and count to ten to steady it again. 

One look at your sleeve had you frowning. The next stage had started. You’d read about this. Discoloured petals. You’d only coughed up one but one was enough for you to be sure. With one last attempt at clearing your throat, you brushed the blackened petal to the ground. 

Taeyong shared this class with you. Whilst he didn’t often sit next to you, he was mostly always on the same row. Not many people occupied the back row and so, when he heard the muffled hack come from your direction he had looked over, shoulders tensing as he watched you. 

He approached you at the end of class, watching your sluggish movements as you shoved your laptop back into your bag. “____, Are you alright?” He asked softly, noting the sheen of sickly sweat coasting your forehead. 

Lips pressed firmly together, you nodded. You were certain if you opened your mouth you'd start coughing and choking again but you didn’t want to be rude. “I’m fine.” Bad idea. “Sorry, Yong, I gotta go-” Taeyong had never heard your voice so scratchy and coarse. He had also never seen you flee so quickly before he could even open his mouth, your notepad falling from your unzipped bag as you vanished before his eyes. 

As he knelt down to collect it from the ground, his fingers made contact with a velvety, withered texture. 

A blackened rose petal. 

 The next time Taeyong saw you, you were much worse than he could have imagined. He had only turned up at your apartment because he assumed Johnny had left his phone at your place. He couldn’t really understand the rushed words of ‘Shit! I left my phone at her place, I’m already late!’ When Taeyong offered to go and get it, he naturally thought of your place. 

So when you answered the door, he was standing frozen at the sight of you. Your eyes had bags under them that would put JFK airport to shame. Your complexion was grey, lips cracked and dry. Taeyong could definitely see you’d lost some weight too, your knitted sweater nearly slipping off one shoulder. His gaze caught onto the marks along your neck, long red streaks almost looking like you had been clawing at it in your agony. Your winced call of his name kicked his brain into gear. 

“Now isn’t a good ti-” His hands flew out to rub and pat your back as your words were interrupted. 

Taeyong’s heart broke as he watched you struggle. You couldn’t get your breath, your face turning red from the strenuosity. Taeyong backed you into your apartment, kicking the door closed behind him. He sat you on your couch, disappearing from view for a moment.

You didn’t even take note of what exactly was being thrust under your nose, only that it would catch what your body rejected. One of his hands held the bucket, the other sweeping your hair away from your face. It was all too familiar for him. Except for Taeyong, he had done it alone. 

“It’s okay, ____” He hushed, palm flattened over your back to rub comforting circles. “Breath through your nose and count to ten. It helps.” 

You did as such, shoulders relaxing as the air finally seeped into your lungs. You wiped your mouth with the back of your hand, sighing at the crimson residue that was becoming all too familiar. You opened your mouth to speak, only to be gently hushed once more. 

“It’s okay, it’ll hurt too much if you talk.” He set the bucket down on the side table. “You should get yourself some grapeseed oil. A teaspoon a day should at least prevent the attacks so often.” Taeyong didn’t look at you as he spoke, his hands busying themselves with opening the small drawer to your coffee table in search of tissues. 

“You mean this?” You rasped, pulling the small droplet bottle from your pocket, and setting it down on the surface before you. Taeyong’s eyebrows creased. 

It was the exact same bottle he was sure he had. Though, catching sight of the label on the bottle he knew it was his bottle. ‘Taeyong’  scribbled messily on the labeled sticker. He looked at you expectantly. 

“Johnny gave it to me.” Just uttering his name sent a pang of hurt through you, a wave of emotion rippling from your jaw to the tips of your toes. 

Taeyong understood immediately, a deep sigh resonating as he nodded once. “He knows then.” To which you nodded, eyes fixed on your lap. 

He had never seen you cry, and he would hate to admit it but your eyes looked pretty when you did. It was as if the glaze of tears enhanced the colors of your iris. “He doesn’t know it’s this bad. He thinks the tickle has just started.” 

“____, you’re dying and you’re telling me Johnny hasn’t noticed yet?” To say that Taeyong was in disbelief was an understatement. The new knowledge that Johnny knew now had floored him. 

Why? Because Johnny hadn’t once let it show. Taeyong had been around the guy all week and he was still the happy comedic genius he always was. Not a hint of anything bothering him. 

“Yong, It’s okay. I..” You drew your knees up to your chest, patting the spot next to you for him. “I’ve come to terms with it.” 

“Come to terms with it?!” He spluttered. “____, you are in your twenties! You can’t be okay with dying in your twenties.” His hand raked through his hair, eyes blinking rapidly like he couldn't come to terms with how calm you looked right now. 

Taeyong could feel the anger bubbling up in his chest, his gaze hardening as he addressed you once more. “You know he’s been seeing her too, don’t you?”

You were silent, shame eating at your subconscious. “If I ignore it then he won’t have to be like this too.” 

Taeyong sprung up to his feet. “Wake up! He’s out there living his life with no regrets and you’re the one to suffer? I can’t…” He shook his head, shoving his clenched fists into his pockets. “I’m sorry, I just-” With one last shake of his head, Taeyong left you there. The slam of your front door announcing his absence.

Johnny remembered the conversation between the two of you very clearly. He was convinced he still loved you a lot. Just not in the way you need. At first, he thought it was doubt, but as time went on he started to notice the dry tickly cough and the abundance of petals scattered in your trash. He was sure it wasn’t harmful yet, certain that he still held the love in his heart for you. 

Johnny didn’t love Yuki. She was fun. She was different. She wasn’t you. He could spend time with her without any strings attached. It was freeing, knowing he wasn't destined to be with her no matter what. 

He felt guilt at first. He didn’t like lying to you, but it was for his own selfish gain that he did. Johnny had seen Taeyong go through the pain and near death of a soulmate falling out of love, he didn’t want that for himself. Johnny had too much to live for, as arrogant and self-centred as that sounded. 

 He remembered what you said when he gave you the vial of grapeseed oil, how your shaky hands had placed over his own. How you told him it was okay, it wasn’t his fault. But Johnny couldn’t help but think it was. Johnny tried so hard to make himself love you still. Your words of comfort swirled in his mind and kept him up at night. ‘Nobody can help who they do and don’t love. Feelings change, People don’t’ You’d said to him.

Johnny felt ashamed. Being unfaithful to you whilst you still loved him with every ounce of your soul. Deep down, Johnny knew you only had two options he just hoped you made a decision before it was too late. 

Taeyong had been seen by barely anyone all week. It was as if he was attending his classes and then picking up every extra shift or odd job imaginable. The Neos were even more shocked when Mark slapped a flier down on the dining table ping pong table in front of some of the brothers. A for sale flier, advertising their frat leader’s motorcycle. The very same one that he cherished and spent a fortune to modify. 

“Do you think he’s in debt?” Jungwoo frowned, setting his beer on the table. 

That question alone earned a chortled laugh. “Woo, we’re in university. We’re all in debt.” Yuta clapped him on the back. “But, on a serious note, He’s been acting super weird lately.” 

Everyone launched into debate, trying to determine why Taeyong would be selling his pride and joy so suddenly. Conversation ceased when the front door opened and the man in question shuffled into the open-plan living space with an exhausted wave. 

“Ty, are you actually selling the bandit?” The question came from Taeil, Neo frat’s oldest member. 

Taeyong moved through the living area, taking a seat at one of the beanbags littered around the table. “Already sold it.” He bobbed his head in a nod. 

It earned him many concerned looks. “Are you in trouble or something? Are you trying to cover the water bill from when Mark broke the faucet?” 

“No, Jae. I’m not in trouble. It’s not for me.”  He reassured, his voice dying down quietly. “It’s for ____.” 

Everyone stopped. Mark locked his phone, Yuta stopped chipping at his nail polish, and Taeil nearly spat out his beer. Jaehyun and Jungwoo were already staring at him. 

“Why?”

Taeyong took a deep breath, anticipating the question.It didn’t take long for him to catch them up to speed.  “You haven’t noticed? I can’t watch her die. Even if she’s come to terms with it.” 

“She’s not been to class for a few weeks. Professor Choi just straight-up skips over her name now. I’m guessing they know.” Jaehyun hummed. 

“Hm, Jaemin said he saw her last week on his midnight ramen run.” Mark recalled, “Said she looked like something out of living dead.” 

“Mark,” Taeyong gave him a warning look. The younger just shrugged his shoulders. “I’m going to book the operation for her. She doesn’t know. I just need the deposit. After that, it’s monthly payments. I can scrape enough together for the monthly just fine.” He looked pained. “Whenever I see her, it’s like I’m watching myself go through it again.” 

One by one, Jaehyun, Mark, Jungwoo, Yuta, and Taeil offered their help. 

The six of them didn’t make it known what their plans were but soon enough, after Taeyong had put what he had already saved with what the others offered, it was enough. He rocked up to the private medical center, cash in an envelope that was tucked neatly within the inside pocket of his jacket. 

Taeyong was pleasantly surprised that he was allowed to schedule and pay the deposit on your behalf. Acting on best interest. The receptionist did stress that you needed to fill in the form and sign consent upon arrival but Taeyong was more pleased that he was giving you a chance at life. That there was a possibility that you could carry on.

What he didn’t expect, was your immediate refusal when he brought the leaflet and forms over to your apartment the following morning. The smile dropped from his face as you tried to hide away from him.  ‘He could die.’ You’d cried at him. And whilst it had been proven he wouldn't, you were convinced. 

“He won’t, ____.” Taeyong begged. “Please, you can’t just accept this.” The bed dipped as he sat on the edge. The many times he had visited you now, you had always been. The last time you got up to open the door, Taeyong honestly worried that you would pass away right there on the doorstep. He took your spare key after that. 

Taeyong’s gentle fingers lifted the damp wash cloth from the bowl at your bedside, running the cool material over your brow and cheeks. A light smile twitched at the corner of your lips, the sensation easing your fever, only a little but it was better than before. He knew he wasn’t going to get many more words from you this evening. You’d exhausted yourself already for the evening. Taeyong was just content enough to sit here and care for you. 

Honestly, before it was known that you were Johnny’s soulmate, Taeyong had hoped you’d notice him. He had often found himself wishing that it wouldn’t last so he could at least have a shot with you. His hopes were crushed when Johnny had run through the fraternity declaring you were both soulmates. Taeyong had made peace with the idea that maybe he was meant to be alone, satisfied just by seeing you whenever Johnny brought you over to hang out. 

He never wished for this, though. 

Tenderest of touches brushed your hair away from where it had clung to your forehead. Taeyong clicking on the standing fan in an attempt to offer you some cool relief. “Trust me, ____.” He whispered, voice brittle. “I went through this.” His confession had your right eye cracking open. 

“Back in the first year,” Taeyong recalled. “Watching you and Johnny go through this… it’s like a mirror. I nearly died,” He picked up your hand, engulfing it in both of his own. “I refused the operation until it was nearly too late. For the same reason, actually.” 

Your fingers twitched in his own, your index finger hooking around his thumb to offer comfort. You have suspected Taeyong had some close experience with this. Especially in the way he always seemed to understand your pain, the sad gazes, and his drive to help you. You had never expected that he would be the one in your position though. The meer thought had tears welling up in your eyes. You seemed to cry a lot around the man these days. 

“He didn’t die though. Apparently, he just… coughed up the root.” He lifted your hand, the ghosting feeling of his lips against your knuckles. “I promise you, Johnny won’t die… At least think about it.” To which you nodded in agreement. 

Taeyong made you soup, your favorite kind. You weren’t even sure how he knew it was your favorite but he did. He parted from you with a lingering kiss to your hairline. Just like every night. This form of unrequited love seemed to of hurt him more than his last. 

He’d left the forms and leaflets on the empty bed space by your feet.

You’d asked Taeyong not to come over for the last four days. As worried as he was, he had to respect your wishes. You didn’t want him to see your sudden decline as you entered the last stage of the rejection. Meaning, that Johnny had almost fallen completely out of love with you now. 

You were expecting it, Taeyong too. You and Johnny had broken things off the last time you saw each other. Both of you doing so without even having to clarify the matter. He was free. Almost. 

Taeyong had been stressed all week, even his frat brothers had given him a wide berth. Many put it down to the lacrosse game the pending evening. Only a select few really knew that it was because today was the same day Taeyong had scheduled for your surgery. 

He hadn’t known it was the same day as the game, Jungwoo uttering the words with caution the day before. Taeyong swore to himself that he thought he booked it for next week. He didn’t even know if you were going to accept it… Any time he brought it up you tended to change the subject. 

How Taeyong managed to even pass the ball with steady swings amazed even himself, his hands hadn’t stopped shaking. He had nearly skipped the game in favor of being with you, but he knew he couldn’t.  The game had gone smoothly, they were winning by one. In fact, Johnny had to take the penalty shot. 

The whole field waited on bated breath, all eyes on Johnny as he just stood there, his expression morphed in such a way that Taeyong exchanged a look with Jaehyun.

“Seo! Take the damn shot already!” The coach didn’t even get through his ending word before Johnny’s form curled over, knees slamming into the ground. 

Taeyong rushed over as his friend tore off his helmet and spat his mouthguard to the ground. He would worry about that later. Taeyong slid to his knees beside Johnny, his own helmet crashing to the ground out of his grip. 

Johnny had never felt such pain. His airways were burning. The sensation in his chest felt like all the oxygen was being torn from him. The team crowded around him, blocking anyone else's view of the scene.  A choked cough left his throat, a shout of agony following after. Petals. Blood. Stems.  The flower was unwinding itself, pulling at the roots from within his chest and lungs. 

The team managed to maneuver Johnny back to the locker rooms, it took four of them to carry him but soon the male was slumped against the tiles of the showers. Taeyong was beside him once again. “Cough it up Johnny, you’ll do more damage if you don’t.” He tugged Johnny’s arm to sit him forward, his fist thumping down in the center of his back. “Johnny, come on!” 

To say Taeyong was relieved when Johnny finally started coughing again was an understatement. “You gotta carry it on, it’ll hurt but I’ve got you.” He pleaded over the sound of his friend’s cries and chokes. 

Johnny doesn’t know how long he continuously coughed for. All he knew was the last one to shake through his body finally offered him release, Taeyong tugging him away from the mangled mix of plant and blood only to rip him, Johnny, from his shock-induced state by shoving him under the freezing cold shower stream - kit and all. 

A big, clear breath left him. 

“What the fuck, John?” Ten peaked his head around the corner, having raced in after the team to check on his best friend. 

“Dude, that's your flower.” Mark grimaced, crouched down next to the offending object. 

The announcement made Johnny’s spine straighten, and Taeyong hung his head. “What does it mean?” Johnny shakily stood, pressing the button to stop the stream of cold water. 

It was fascinating how Johnny already felt better. He felt no pull in his chest, no weakness even after the whole ordeal. He felt new. But if he felt like this… then what had happened to you? The realization of what had happened weighed heavy on his guilt. 

He turned to address the sort of traumatized, faces around him but it wasn’t him that spoke up. It was Taeyong. “It means I need to find ____.” 

Taeyong had raced past his teammates and into the locker room without any further explanation. His phone cramped between his ear and shoulder as he tugged on his sweats at record speed. “C’mon, Petal. Pick up.” He swore to himself, only removing the device from his ear to throw on a t-shirt from his locker. It was a term of endearment he had taken to calling you of late, though quite often when you were too dazed to notice. 

He ignored the looks of confusion from his friends. Well, from those other than Mark and Jaehyun. From the look on Johnny’s face, he was still piecing things together. Taeyong didn’t have time for that, snatching the keys for the beat-up Honda he had gotten recently and sprinting from the room. 

Taeyong continued to call you on the way to your apartment. He had just hoped you’d gotten yourself to the appointment. He didn’t want to think about the possibility of losing you like this. He found himself afraid to enter your building, scared of what he may find. His head thumped against the steering wheel, eyes burning with unshed tears. You had to be okay. 

His phone buzzed, body jumped when he saw your name flash on the screen. He swiped to answer, bringing it up to his ear with a relieved sigh. “____.” He listened to your breathing for a split second, registering the steady beeps in the background. 

“Is he alive?” Your tone was filled with urgency but your voice was clearer than Taeyong had heard in weeks. It had a relieved laugh bubbling from his chest, salty droplets cascading down his cheeks and leaving his tear ducts with the tension in him. 

“He’s fine.” He sniffled, rubbing at his face. “ Petal, you’re okay. I tho-” You interrupted him with a soothing call of his name. 

“You were right.” He listened to you pause, the sounds of you sipping through a straw present in the receiver. “There are things I do have to live for.” You spoke quietly. “The first one being myself.” 

He hummed in agreement, starting up the car again. “Yeah? I’ll be there soon and you can tell me all about the second, Petal.” He was rewarded with a breathy laugh. “What?”

“Petal.” You murmured, Taeyong could hear the slumber lingering back into your tone. 

“Get some rest. I’ll be there soon.” He was about to pull the phone away from his ear when you quietly called his name again. 

“Yes?” He hummed, clicking the hands-free and setting the phone into the holder on the dash. 

“Can I tell you my second reason?” 

“What’s that, Petal?” He smiled softly to himself. 

“It’s you.”

©Acescavern - I do not give permission for my works to be copied, translated or reposted

END TO START - LEE TAEYONG X READER

Navi - M.list

Pairing: Soulmate!Johnny x Soulmate! reader, Taeyong x reader. ( Ft Mark, Jungwoo, Ten, Jaehyun, Taeil, Yuta. Mentions Jaemin once.)

Genre: Heavy angst my guys, soulmates au, neo frat au, university au, fluff, Hanahaki Soulmate trope.

Synopsis: Taeyong had been perfectly happy to sit back and watch you and Johnny be together. However, when he starts to notice certain behaviors that are all too familiar, he finds himself unable to watch you slowly die. Just because Johnny may not love you anymore... doesn't mean Taeyong doesn't love you either.

wc: 4.9k

Warnings: Heavy angst, Blood, Mentions of death, suffering, choking, johnny is unfaithful, it's a Hanahaki au so they basically cough up dead and thorned flowers. It's not a graphic description but there are descriptions of pain too, mentions of weight loss due to being unwell, Unrequited love, hurt, Taeyong's been in love with the reader since before her and Johnny got together, heavy rejection, soulmate rejection ( Just because i have written this does NOT mean that i think any one of the nct members would cheat or act thi way. this is pure FICTION.) Please let me know if i have missed any warnings

Note: Hi! I have a few fics in the works but I'm worried I wont get them done for Halloween. So, I am blessing you with this heart-breaking fic. I wanted to release this fic early as a thank you for all your love on Operation Rizz! Now, this is the same frat universe as all my other NCT fics. they can all be read as stand alone though, so don't worry! Any feedback is once again appreciated. I do not own the concept of Hanahaki.

Likes and reblogs are appreciated

Soulmates were supposed to be someone's everything—the one person who was meant specifically for them. Someone you can lean on and cherish, who would dote and adore you. Someone to dish out as much love to you as you unto them. To stay by your side and grow old together. However, some people are already at that stage when they meet their destined person. There was also the worry of some people not having a soulmate. Legend says that only the blessed are gifted with such. 

Gifted? Yes. To many, the Soulmate system is a curse - depending on what type you are assigned to. Tattoos? Easy. Mind reading? Okay a little more difficult. Red string? That practically takes you straight to them.  Eternal life? Near impossible! You could spend many years with someone you thought was a soulmate only to see a wrinkle and realize you aren’t made for each other at all. Seeing things in black and white only to suddenly be overwhelmed with color at a music festival and not know who the hell you’d bumped into in that massive crowd that could possibly be your soulmate. Not everyone even had a soulmate, they could be with whoever they wanted without consequences. 

But there was one type in particular that nobody wanted. Hanahaki. Named after the fictional Japanese Hanahaki Disease. It comes from the Japanese words Hana - meaning flower and Hakimasu - quite literally meaning, to throw up. 

In a soulmate's case, when they first meet each other a seed is awakened. It grows thorned roses - the flowers of love - cradling the person’s heart and twining around inside their lungs. For the most part, other than the occasional flutter and heartburn, it goes unnoticeable. So long as the soulmate reciprocates the feelings of love. But, should one soulmate start to fall out of love? The other will suffer terribly. The flowers will die, the spikey stems squeezing at the organs they were once gently caressing with love. Crushing in their anguish.

Of course, unlike the other soulmate types, there are two ways out of Hanahaki... Let the weight of the unreciprocated love drag on painfully until you die, or convince your health insurance to accept the cost of the operation to remove the offending plants. However, by the time one realizes they are soulmates, it is likely that the bond has already been unreciprocated. 

Taeyong knew this. He knew this because it happened to him. He had once been on the receiving end of the agonizing scratch of dead rose stems climbing up his throat in a mess of blood and wilted petals. Taeyong had nearly died. He recognized the signs clearly and that was the reason he was so shocked to see them in who he did. 

Johnny’s soulmate.

Taeyong first took notice when you walked through the door of the club. A celebration night to celebrate the frat’s anniversary alongside Taeyong’s new choreographer position in the dance studio he works in. Your face had a slightly paler tone and although you were doing a good job at keeping your breathing even… Taeyong recognized the telltale signs of a wince when you took the air in too harshly. 

But when he saw Johnny approach you and press a loving kiss to your forehead, he scolded himself for thinking such things. Taeyong knew something was up though, your smile didn’t meet your eyes and when you congratulated him with a hug, he swore he could feel your body tremble. 

He tried not to worry too much throughout the night but when he saw Johnny by the bar, his charming smile dazzled at some sorority girls that had been invited… Taeyong wondered where you’d gone. The disappointment within him only grew when he watched his best friend and frat brother go home with one of them. 

So, maybe his suspicions were correct. A few weeks passed and he’d not seen a glimpse of you, Johnny hadn’t even uttered your name. The rapper hadn’t had time to sit him down and ask him about the incident. Until now. 

Taeyong dabbed the sweat from his brow with the neckline of his shirt, swiping his water bottle from the floor. He shuffled toward his friend, watching as he grinned at his phone as he typed. He was talking to someone and Taeyong only hoped it was you. That you’d both mended things to stop it getting worse. The thought of it all being a misunderstanding had a relieved smile spreading across his face as he settled on the floor next to Johnny. 

“You texting ____? Tell her I said Hey.” Taeyong said, twisting the cap off his drink to take a swig. Taeyong was almost taken aback at the irritated flash that crossed Johnny’s expression at the mention of your name. 

If Taeyong wasn’t so observant, he would have missed it. Johnny shook his head, swiftly locking his phone when his leader went to peer over his shoulder. “It’s not. It’s Yuki.” 

Taeyong’s eyebrows scrunched, posture freezing for a moment. “The sorority girl you went home with?” He tried to keep his tone level. Memories of the same thing happening to himself reoccur in his mind. “What about ____?” The question hung awkwardly in the air, Johnny staring at Taeyong as if he’d asked something ridiculous. 

“What about her?” He shrugged. “Just because I do stupid things, doesn't mean I don’t love her. She’s my soulmate.” He paused, an almost defeated sigh sagging at his shoulders. “The only one I got.” 

Taeyong took notice of the slight bitterness in his words. Almost as if he didn’t realize that he did it. “Do you?” 

Johnny rubbed at the back of his neck, his mouth opening but no words coming out. Once again, a defeated shrug of his shoulders. “Yeah… yes.” He cleared his throat as his voice broke. “I’m sure we’d of noticed by now if I hadn’t.”  Johnny left no room for debate, standing up with a clap of his hands to suggest they continue their lacrosse practice.

You knew. You knew Johnny’s feelings for you were dwindling. You were reminded every time you coughed. Reminded by the way your breath left you in an agonizing squeeze when Johnny would kiss your forehead.  

But, even though you knew… it didn’t make you love him any less. You knew what he got up to when your nights weren't spent together. You didn’t do a thing, didn’t bring it up. You almost tried to ignore it. You loved Johnny. You always would. And, as long as you continued to love him, he wouldn’t have the same fate as you. You would never wish this pain on him even if he was the cause. 

You wished you’d heeded Mark’s seemingly lighthearted warning at the beginning of your relationship. ‘He’s one of my closest friends but he doesn’t always do the right thing, just… please be careful.’ Mark had said one evening. You hadn’t truly understood why he had said it, nor did you get to question him before Johnny had slid his arm around your middle. 

You understood perfectly now. Especially as a sharp tickle wheezed in the back of your throat, your eyes discreetly scanning the new text message from your seat at the very back row of English lit class. ‘Can we rain check date night again? Coach is being a hardass and wants us to stay late.’ For the third week running, the same excuse. Sure, you’d seen Johnny. But Thursday was always date night. Something you’d both stuck to like glue once before. 

Pain twisted in your chest, your breath rough. You brought the sleeve of your hoodie to your mouth, attempting a discreet cough. It didn’t do anything for you, the feeling like you’d swallowed razorblades. The world felt like it was spinning for a moment and you had to close your eyes and count to ten to steady it again. 

One look at your sleeve had you frowning. The next stage had started. You’d read about this. Discoloured petals. You’d only coughed up one but one was enough for you to be sure. With one last attempt at clearing your throat, you brushed the blackened petal to the ground. 

Taeyong shared this class with you. Whilst he didn’t often sit next to you, he was mostly always on the same row. Not many people occupied the back row and so, when he heard the muffled hack come from your direction he had looked over, shoulders tensing as he watched you. 

He approached you at the end of class, watching your sluggish movements as you shoved your laptop back into your bag. “____, Are you alright?” He asked softly, noting the sheen of sickly sweat coasting your forehead. 

Lips pressed firmly together, you nodded. You were certain if you opened your mouth you'd start coughing and choking again but you didn’t want to be rude. “I’m fine.” Bad idea. “Sorry, Yong, I gotta go-” Taeyong had never heard your voice so scratchy and coarse. He had also never seen you flee so quickly before he could even open his mouth, your notepad falling from your unzipped bag as you vanished before his eyes. 

As he knelt down to collect it from the ground, his fingers made contact with a velvety, withered texture. 

A blackened rose petal. 

 The next time Taeyong saw you, you were much worse than he could have imagined. He had only turned up at your apartment because he assumed Johnny had left his phone at your place. He couldn’t really understand the rushed words of ‘Shit! I left my phone at her place, I’m already late!’ When Taeyong offered to go and get it, he naturally thought of your place. 

So when you answered the door, he was standing frozen at the sight of you. Your eyes had bags under them that would put JFK airport to shame. Your complexion was grey, lips cracked and dry. Taeyong could definitely see you’d lost some weight too, your knitted sweater nearly slipping off one shoulder. His gaze caught onto the marks along your neck, long red streaks almost looking like you had been clawing at it in your agony. Your winced call of his name kicked his brain into gear. 

“Now isn’t a good ti-” His hands flew out to rub and pat your back as your words were interrupted. 

Taeyong’s heart broke as he watched you struggle. You couldn’t get your breath, your face turning red from the strenuosity. Taeyong backed you into your apartment, kicking the door closed behind him. He sat you on your couch, disappearing from view for a moment.

You didn’t even take note of what exactly was being thrust under your nose, only that it would catch what your body rejected. One of his hands held the bucket, the other sweeping your hair away from your face. It was all too familiar for him. Except for Taeyong, he had done it alone. 

“It’s okay, ____” He hushed, palm flattened over your back to rub comforting circles. “Breath through your nose and count to ten. It helps.” 

You did as such, shoulders relaxing as the air finally seeped into your lungs. You wiped your mouth with the back of your hand, sighing at the crimson residue that was becoming all too familiar. You opened your mouth to speak, only to be gently hushed once more. 

“It’s okay, it’ll hurt too much if you talk.” He set the bucket down on the side table. “You should get yourself some grapeseed oil. A teaspoon a day should at least prevent the attacks so often.” Taeyong didn’t look at you as he spoke, his hands busying themselves with opening the small drawer to your coffee table in search of tissues. 

“You mean this?” You rasped, pulling the small droplet bottle from your pocket, and setting it down on the surface before you. Taeyong’s eyebrows creased. 

It was the exact same bottle he was sure he had. Though, catching sight of the label on the bottle he knew it was his bottle. ‘Taeyong’  scribbled messily on the labeled sticker. He looked at you expectantly. 

“Johnny gave it to me.” Just uttering his name sent a pang of hurt through you, a wave of emotion rippling from your jaw to the tips of your toes. 

Taeyong understood immediately, a deep sigh resonating as he nodded once. “He knows then.” To which you nodded, eyes fixed on your lap. 

He had never seen you cry, and he would hate to admit it but your eyes looked pretty when you did. It was as if the glaze of tears enhanced the colors of your iris. “He doesn’t know it’s this bad. He thinks the tickle has just started.” 

“____, you’re dying and you’re telling me Johnny hasn’t noticed yet?” To say that Taeyong was in disbelief was an understatement. The new knowledge that Johnny knew now had floored him. 

Why? Because Johnny hadn’t once let it show. Taeyong had been around the guy all week and he was still the happy comedic genius he always was. Not a hint of anything bothering him. 

“Yong, It’s okay. I..” You drew your knees up to your chest, patting the spot next to you for him. “I’ve come to terms with it.” 

“Come to terms with it?!” He spluttered. “____, you are in your twenties! You can’t be okay with dying in your twenties.” His hand raked through his hair, eyes blinking rapidly like he couldn't come to terms with how calm you looked right now. 

Taeyong could feel the anger bubbling up in his chest, his gaze hardening as he addressed you once more. “You know he’s been seeing her too, don’t you?”

You were silent, shame eating at your subconscious. “If I ignore it then he won’t have to be like this too.” 

Taeyong sprung up to his feet. “Wake up! He’s out there living his life with no regrets and you’re the one to suffer? I can’t…” He shook his head, shoving his clenched fists into his pockets. “I’m sorry, I just-” With one last shake of his head, Taeyong left you there. The slam of your front door announcing his absence.

Johnny remembered the conversation between the two of you very clearly. He was convinced he still loved you a lot. Just not in the way you need. At first, he thought it was doubt, but as time went on he started to notice the dry tickly cough and the abundance of petals scattered in your trash. He was sure it wasn’t harmful yet, certain that he still held the love in his heart for you. 

Johnny didn’t love Yuki. She was fun. She was different. She wasn’t you. He could spend time with her without any strings attached. It was freeing, knowing he wasn't destined to be with her no matter what. 

He felt guilt at first. He didn’t like lying to you, but it was for his own selfish gain that he did. Johnny had seen Taeyong go through the pain and near death of a soulmate falling out of love, he didn’t want that for himself. Johnny had too much to live for, as arrogant and self-centred as that sounded. 

 He remembered what you said when he gave you the vial of grapeseed oil, how your shaky hands had placed over his own. How you told him it was okay, it wasn’t his fault. But Johnny couldn’t help but think it was. Johnny tried so hard to make himself love you still. Your words of comfort swirled in his mind and kept him up at night. ‘Nobody can help who they do and don’t love. Feelings change, People don’t’ You’d said to him.

Johnny felt ashamed. Being unfaithful to you whilst you still loved him with every ounce of your soul. Deep down, Johnny knew you only had two options he just hoped you made a decision before it was too late. 

Taeyong had been seen by barely anyone all week. It was as if he was attending his classes and then picking up every extra shift or odd job imaginable. The Neos were even more shocked when Mark slapped a flier down on the dining table ping pong table in front of some of the brothers. A for sale flier, advertising their frat leader’s motorcycle. The very same one that he cherished and spent a fortune to modify. 

“Do you think he’s in debt?” Jungwoo frowned, setting his beer on the table. 

That question alone earned a chortled laugh. “Woo, we’re in university. We’re all in debt.” Yuta clapped him on the back. “But, on a serious note, He’s been acting super weird lately.” 

Everyone launched into debate, trying to determine why Taeyong would be selling his pride and joy so suddenly. Conversation ceased when the front door opened and the man in question shuffled into the open-plan living space with an exhausted wave. 

“Ty, are you actually selling the bandit?” The question came from Taeil, Neo frat’s oldest member. 

Taeyong moved through the living area, taking a seat at one of the beanbags littered around the table. “Already sold it.” He bobbed his head in a nod. 

It earned him many concerned looks. “Are you in trouble or something? Are you trying to cover the water bill from when Mark broke the faucet?” 

“No, Jae. I’m not in trouble. It’s not for me.”  He reassured, his voice dying down quietly. “It’s for ____.” 

Everyone stopped. Mark locked his phone, Yuta stopped chipping at his nail polish, and Taeil nearly spat out his beer. Jaehyun and Jungwoo were already staring at him. 

“Why?”

Taeyong took a deep breath, anticipating the question.It didn’t take long for him to catch them up to speed.  “You haven’t noticed? I can’t watch her die. Even if she’s come to terms with it.” 

“She’s not been to class for a few weeks. Professor Choi just straight-up skips over her name now. I’m guessing they know.” Jaehyun hummed. 

“Hm, Jaemin said he saw her last week on his midnight ramen run.” Mark recalled, “Said she looked like something out of living dead.” 

“Mark,” Taeyong gave him a warning look. The younger just shrugged his shoulders. “I’m going to book the operation for her. She doesn’t know. I just need the deposit. After that, it’s monthly payments. I can scrape enough together for the monthly just fine.” He looked pained. “Whenever I see her, it’s like I’m watching myself go through it again.” 

One by one, Jaehyun, Mark, Jungwoo, Yuta, and Taeil offered their help. 

The six of them didn’t make it known what their plans were but soon enough, after Taeyong had put what he had already saved with what the others offered, it was enough. He rocked up to the private medical center, cash in an envelope that was tucked neatly within the inside pocket of his jacket. 

Taeyong was pleasantly surprised that he was allowed to schedule and pay the deposit on your behalf. Acting on best interest. The receptionist did stress that you needed to fill in the form and sign consent upon arrival but Taeyong was more pleased that he was giving you a chance at life. That there was a possibility that you could carry on.

What he didn’t expect, was your immediate refusal when he brought the leaflet and forms over to your apartment the following morning. The smile dropped from his face as you tried to hide away from him.  ‘He could die.’ You’d cried at him. And whilst it had been proven he wouldn't, you were convinced. 

“He won’t, ____.” Taeyong begged. “Please, you can’t just accept this.” The bed dipped as he sat on the edge. The many times he had visited you now, you had always been. The last time you got up to open the door, Taeyong honestly worried that you would pass away right there on the doorstep. He took your spare key after that. 

Taeyong’s gentle fingers lifted the damp wash cloth from the bowl at your bedside, running the cool material over your brow and cheeks. A light smile twitched at the corner of your lips, the sensation easing your fever, only a little but it was better than before. He knew he wasn’t going to get many more words from you this evening. You’d exhausted yourself already for the evening. Taeyong was just content enough to sit here and care for you. 

Honestly, before it was known that you were Johnny’s soulmate, Taeyong had hoped you’d notice him. He had often found himself wishing that it wouldn’t last so he could at least have a shot with you. His hopes were crushed when Johnny had run through the fraternity declaring you were both soulmates. Taeyong had made peace with the idea that maybe he was meant to be alone, satisfied just by seeing you whenever Johnny brought you over to hang out. 

He never wished for this, though. 

Tenderest of touches brushed your hair away from where it had clung to your forehead. Taeyong clicking on the standing fan in an attempt to offer you some cool relief. “Trust me, ____.” He whispered, voice brittle. “I went through this.” His confession had your right eye cracking open. 

“Back in the first year,” Taeyong recalled. “Watching you and Johnny go through this… it’s like a mirror. I nearly died,” He picked up your hand, engulfing it in both of his own. “I refused the operation until it was nearly too late. For the same reason, actually.” 

Your fingers twitched in his own, your index finger hooking around his thumb to offer comfort. You have suspected Taeyong had some close experience with this. Especially in the way he always seemed to understand your pain, the sad gazes, and his drive to help you. You had never expected that he would be the one in your position though. The meer thought had tears welling up in your eyes. You seemed to cry a lot around the man these days. 

“He didn’t die though. Apparently, he just… coughed up the root.” He lifted your hand, the ghosting feeling of his lips against your knuckles. “I promise you, Johnny won’t die… At least think about it.” To which you nodded in agreement. 

Taeyong made you soup, your favorite kind. You weren’t even sure how he knew it was your favorite but he did. He parted from you with a lingering kiss to your hairline. Just like every night. This form of unrequited love seemed to of hurt him more than his last. 

He’d left the forms and leaflets on the empty bed space by your feet.

You’d asked Taeyong not to come over for the last four days. As worried as he was, he had to respect your wishes. You didn’t want him to see your sudden decline as you entered the last stage of the rejection. Meaning, that Johnny had almost fallen completely out of love with you now. 

You were expecting it, Taeyong too. You and Johnny had broken things off the last time you saw each other. Both of you doing so without even having to clarify the matter. He was free. Almost. 

Taeyong had been stressed all week, even his frat brothers had given him a wide berth. Many put it down to the lacrosse game the pending evening. Only a select few really knew that it was because today was the same day Taeyong had scheduled for your surgery. 

He hadn’t known it was the same day as the game, Jungwoo uttering the words with caution the day before. Taeyong swore to himself that he thought he booked it for next week. He didn’t even know if you were going to accept it… Any time he brought it up you tended to change the subject. 

How Taeyong managed to even pass the ball with steady swings amazed even himself, his hands hadn’t stopped shaking. He had nearly skipped the game in favor of being with you, but he knew he couldn’t.  The game had gone smoothly, they were winning by one. In fact, Johnny had to take the penalty shot. 

The whole field waited on bated breath, all eyes on Johnny as he just stood there, his expression morphed in such a way that Taeyong exchanged a look with Jaehyun.

“Seo! Take the damn shot already!” The coach didn’t even get through his ending word before Johnny’s form curled over, knees slamming into the ground. 

Taeyong rushed over as his friend tore off his helmet and spat his mouthguard to the ground. He would worry about that later. Taeyong slid to his knees beside Johnny, his own helmet crashing to the ground out of his grip. 

Johnny had never felt such pain. His airways were burning. The sensation in his chest felt like all the oxygen was being torn from him. The team crowded around him, blocking anyone else's view of the scene.  A choked cough left his throat, a shout of agony following after. Petals. Blood. Stems.  The flower was unwinding itself, pulling at the roots from within his chest and lungs. 

The team managed to maneuver Johnny back to the locker rooms, it took four of them to carry him but soon the male was slumped against the tiles of the showers. Taeyong was beside him once again. “Cough it up Johnny, you’ll do more damage if you don’t.” He tugged Johnny’s arm to sit him forward, his fist thumping down in the center of his back. “Johnny, come on!” 

To say Taeyong was relieved when Johnny finally started coughing again was an understatement. “You gotta carry it on, it’ll hurt but I’ve got you.” He pleaded over the sound of his friend’s cries and chokes. 

Johnny doesn’t know how long he continuously coughed for. All he knew was the last one to shake through his body finally offered him release, Taeyong tugging him away from the mangled mix of plant and blood only to rip him, Johnny, from his shock-induced state by shoving him under the freezing cold shower stream - kit and all. 

A big, clear breath left him. 

“What the fuck, John?” Ten peaked his head around the corner, having raced in after the team to check on his best friend. 

“Dude, that's your flower.” Mark grimaced, crouched down next to the offending object. 

The announcement made Johnny’s spine straighten, and Taeyong hung his head. “What does it mean?” Johnny shakily stood, pressing the button to stop the stream of cold water. 

It was fascinating how Johnny already felt better. He felt no pull in his chest, no weakness even after the whole ordeal. He felt new. But if he felt like this… then what had happened to you? The realization of what had happened weighed heavy on his guilt. 

He turned to address the sort of traumatized, faces around him but it wasn’t him that spoke up. It was Taeyong. “It means I need to find ____.” 

Taeyong had raced past his teammates and into the locker room without any further explanation. His phone cramped between his ear and shoulder as he tugged on his sweats at record speed. “C’mon, Petal. Pick up.” He swore to himself, only removing the device from his ear to throw on a t-shirt from his locker. It was a term of endearment he had taken to calling you of late, though quite often when you were too dazed to notice. 

He ignored the looks of confusion from his friends. Well, from those other than Mark and Jaehyun. From the look on Johnny’s face, he was still piecing things together. Taeyong didn’t have time for that, snatching the keys for the beat-up Honda he had gotten recently and sprinting from the room. 

Taeyong continued to call you on the way to your apartment. He had just hoped you’d gotten yourself to the appointment. He didn’t want to think about the possibility of losing you like this. He found himself afraid to enter your building, scared of what he may find. His head thumped against the steering wheel, eyes burning with unshed tears. You had to be okay. 

His phone buzzed, body jumped when he saw your name flash on the screen. He swiped to answer, bringing it up to his ear with a relieved sigh. “____.” He listened to your breathing for a split second, registering the steady beeps in the background. 

“Is he alive?” Your tone was filled with urgency but your voice was clearer than Taeyong had heard in weeks. It had a relieved laugh bubbling from his chest, salty droplets cascading down his cheeks and leaving his tear ducts with the tension in him. 

“He’s fine.” He sniffled, rubbing at his face. “ Petal, you’re okay. I tho-” You interrupted him with a soothing call of his name. 

“You were right.” He listened to you pause, the sounds of you sipping through a straw present in the receiver. “There are things I do have to live for.” You spoke quietly. “The first one being myself.” 

He hummed in agreement, starting up the car again. “Yeah? I’ll be there soon and you can tell me all about the second, Petal.” He was rewarded with a breathy laugh. “What?”

“Petal.” You murmured, Taeyong could hear the slumber lingering back into your tone. 

“Get some rest. I’ll be there soon.” He was about to pull the phone away from his ear when you quietly called his name again. 

“Yes?” He hummed, clicking the hands-free and setting the phone into the holder on the dash. 

“Can I tell you my second reason?” 

“What’s that, Petal?” He smiled softly to himself. 

“It’s you.”

©Acescavern - I do not give permission for my works to be copied, translated or reposted

END TO START - LEE TAEYONG X READER

Navi - M.list

Pairing: Soulmate!Johnny x Soulmate! reader, Taeyong x reader. ( Ft Mark, Jungwoo, Ten, Jaehyun, Taeil, Yuta. Mentions Jaemin once.)

Genre: Heavy angst my guys, soulmates au, neo frat au, university au, fluff, Hanahaki Soulmate trope.

Synopsis: Taeyong had been perfectly happy to sit back and watch you and Johnny be together. However, when he starts to notice certain behaviors that are all too familiar, he finds himself unable to watch you slowly die. Just because Johnny may not love you anymore... doesn't mean Taeyong doesn't love you either.

wc: 4.9k

Warnings: Heavy angst, Blood, Mentions of death, suffering, choking, johnny is unfaithful, it's a Hanahaki au so they basically cough up dead and thorned flowers. It's not a graphic description but there are descriptions of pain too, mentions of weight loss due to being unwell, Unrequited love, hurt, Taeyong's been in love with the reader since before her and Johnny got together, heavy rejection, soulmate rejection ( Just because i have written this does NOT mean that i think any one of the nct members would cheat or act thi way. this is pure FICTION.) Please let me know if i have missed any warnings

Note: Hi! I have a few fics in the works but I'm worried I wont get them done for Halloween. So, I am blessing you with this heart-breaking fic. I wanted to release this fic early as a thank you for all your love on Operation Rizz! Now, this is the same frat universe as all my other NCT fics. they can all be read as stand alone though, so don't worry! Any feedback is once again appreciated. I do not own the concept of Hanahaki.

Likes and reblogs are appreciated

Soulmates were supposed to be someone's everything—the one person who was meant specifically for them. Someone you can lean on and cherish, who would dote and adore you. Someone to dish out as much love to you as you unto them. To stay by your side and grow old together. However, some people are already at that stage when they meet their destined person. There was also the worry of some people not having a soulmate. Legend says that only the blessed are gifted with such. 

Gifted? Yes. To many, the Soulmate system is a curse - depending on what type you are assigned to. Tattoos? Easy. Mind reading? Okay a little more difficult. Red string? That practically takes you straight to them.  Eternal life? Near impossible! You could spend many years with someone you thought was a soulmate only to see a wrinkle and realize you aren’t made for each other at all. Seeing things in black and white only to suddenly be overwhelmed with color at a music festival and not know who the hell you’d bumped into in that massive crowd that could possibly be your soulmate. Not everyone even had a soulmate, they could be with whoever they wanted without consequences. 

But there was one type in particular that nobody wanted. Hanahaki. Named after the fictional Japanese Hanahaki Disease. It comes from the Japanese words Hana - meaning flower and Hakimasu - quite literally meaning, to throw up. 

In a soulmate's case, when they first meet each other a seed is awakened. It grows thorned roses - the flowers of love - cradling the person’s heart and twining around inside their lungs. For the most part, other than the occasional flutter and heartburn, it goes unnoticeable. So long as the soulmate reciprocates the feelings of love. But, should one soulmate start to fall out of love? The other will suffer terribly. The flowers will die, the spikey stems squeezing at the organs they were once gently caressing with love. Crushing in their anguish.

Of course, unlike the other soulmate types, there are two ways out of Hanahaki... Let the weight of the unreciprocated love drag on painfully until you die, or convince your health insurance to accept the cost of the operation to remove the offending plants. However, by the time one realizes they are soulmates, it is likely that the bond has already been unreciprocated. 

Taeyong knew this. He knew this because it happened to him. He had once been on the receiving end of the agonizing scratch of dead rose stems climbing up his throat in a mess of blood and wilted petals. Taeyong had nearly died. He recognized the signs clearly and that was the reason he was so shocked to see them in who he did. 

Johnny’s soulmate.

Taeyong first took notice when you walked through the door of the club. A celebration night to celebrate the frat’s anniversary alongside Taeyong’s new choreographer position in the dance studio he works in. Your face had a slightly paler tone and although you were doing a good job at keeping your breathing even… Taeyong recognized the telltale signs of a wince when you took the air in too harshly. 

But when he saw Johnny approach you and press a loving kiss to your forehead, he scolded himself for thinking such things. Taeyong knew something was up though, your smile didn’t meet your eyes and when you congratulated him with a hug, he swore he could feel your body tremble. 

He tried not to worry too much throughout the night but when he saw Johnny by the bar, his charming smile dazzled at some sorority girls that had been invited… Taeyong wondered where you’d gone. The disappointment within him only grew when he watched his best friend and frat brother go home with one of them. 

So, maybe his suspicions were correct. A few weeks passed and he’d not seen a glimpse of you, Johnny hadn’t even uttered your name. The rapper hadn’t had time to sit him down and ask him about the incident. Until now. 

Taeyong dabbed the sweat from his brow with the neckline of his shirt, swiping his water bottle from the floor. He shuffled toward his friend, watching as he grinned at his phone as he typed. He was talking to someone and Taeyong only hoped it was you. That you’d both mended things to stop it getting worse. The thought of it all being a misunderstanding had a relieved smile spreading across his face as he settled on the floor next to Johnny. 

“You texting ____? Tell her I said Hey.” Taeyong said, twisting the cap off his drink to take a swig. Taeyong was almost taken aback at the irritated flash that crossed Johnny’s expression at the mention of your name. 

If Taeyong wasn’t so observant, he would have missed it. Johnny shook his head, swiftly locking his phone when his leader went to peer over his shoulder. “It’s not. It’s Yuki.” 

Taeyong’s eyebrows scrunched, posture freezing for a moment. “The sorority girl you went home with?” He tried to keep his tone level. Memories of the same thing happening to himself reoccur in his mind. “What about ____?” The question hung awkwardly in the air, Johnny staring at Taeyong as if he’d asked something ridiculous. 

“What about her?” He shrugged. “Just because I do stupid things, doesn't mean I don’t love her. She’s my soulmate.” He paused, an almost defeated sigh sagging at his shoulders. “The only one I got.” 

Taeyong took notice of the slight bitterness in his words. Almost as if he didn’t realize that he did it. “Do you?” 

Johnny rubbed at the back of his neck, his mouth opening but no words coming out. Once again, a defeated shrug of his shoulders. “Yeah… yes.” He cleared his throat as his voice broke. “I’m sure we’d of noticed by now if I hadn’t.”  Johnny left no room for debate, standing up with a clap of his hands to suggest they continue their lacrosse practice.

You knew. You knew Johnny’s feelings for you were dwindling. You were reminded every time you coughed. Reminded by the way your breath left you in an agonizing squeeze when Johnny would kiss your forehead.  

But, even though you knew… it didn’t make you love him any less. You knew what he got up to when your nights weren't spent together. You didn’t do a thing, didn’t bring it up. You almost tried to ignore it. You loved Johnny. You always would. And, as long as you continued to love him, he wouldn’t have the same fate as you. You would never wish this pain on him even if he was the cause. 

You wished you’d heeded Mark’s seemingly lighthearted warning at the beginning of your relationship. ‘He’s one of my closest friends but he doesn’t always do the right thing, just… please be careful.’ Mark had said one evening. You hadn’t truly understood why he had said it, nor did you get to question him before Johnny had slid his arm around your middle. 

You understood perfectly now. Especially as a sharp tickle wheezed in the back of your throat, your eyes discreetly scanning the new text message from your seat at the very back row of English lit class. ‘Can we rain check date night again? Coach is being a hardass and wants us to stay late.’ For the third week running, the same excuse. Sure, you’d seen Johnny. But Thursday was always date night. Something you’d both stuck to like glue once before. 

Pain twisted in your chest, your breath rough. You brought the sleeve of your hoodie to your mouth, attempting a discreet cough. It didn’t do anything for you, the feeling like you’d swallowed razorblades. The world felt like it was spinning for a moment and you had to close your eyes and count to ten to steady it again. 

One look at your sleeve had you frowning. The next stage had started. You’d read about this. Discoloured petals. You’d only coughed up one but one was enough for you to be sure. With one last attempt at clearing your throat, you brushed the blackened petal to the ground. 

Taeyong shared this class with you. Whilst he didn’t often sit next to you, he was mostly always on the same row. Not many people occupied the back row and so, when he heard the muffled hack come from your direction he had looked over, shoulders tensing as he watched you. 

He approached you at the end of class, watching your sluggish movements as you shoved your laptop back into your bag. “____, Are you alright?” He asked softly, noting the sheen of sickly sweat coasting your forehead. 

Lips pressed firmly together, you nodded. You were certain if you opened your mouth you'd start coughing and choking again but you didn’t want to be rude. “I’m fine.” Bad idea. “Sorry, Yong, I gotta go-” Taeyong had never heard your voice so scratchy and coarse. He had also never seen you flee so quickly before he could even open his mouth, your notepad falling from your unzipped bag as you vanished before his eyes. 

As he knelt down to collect it from the ground, his fingers made contact with a velvety, withered texture. 

A blackened rose petal. 

 The next time Taeyong saw you, you were much worse than he could have imagined. He had only turned up at your apartment because he assumed Johnny had left his phone at your place. He couldn’t really understand the rushed words of ‘Shit! I left my phone at her place, I’m already late!’ When Taeyong offered to go and get it, he naturally thought of your place. 

So when you answered the door, he was standing frozen at the sight of you. Your eyes had bags under them that would put JFK airport to shame. Your complexion was grey, lips cracked and dry. Taeyong could definitely see you’d lost some weight too, your knitted sweater nearly slipping off one shoulder. His gaze caught onto the marks along your neck, long red streaks almost looking like you had been clawing at it in your agony. Your winced call of his name kicked his brain into gear. 

“Now isn’t a good ti-” His hands flew out to rub and pat your back as your words were interrupted. 

Taeyong’s heart broke as he watched you struggle. You couldn’t get your breath, your face turning red from the strenuosity. Taeyong backed you into your apartment, kicking the door closed behind him. He sat you on your couch, disappearing from view for a moment.

You didn’t even take note of what exactly was being thrust under your nose, only that it would catch what your body rejected. One of his hands held the bucket, the other sweeping your hair away from your face. It was all too familiar for him. Except for Taeyong, he had done it alone. 

“It’s okay, ____” He hushed, palm flattened over your back to rub comforting circles. “Breath through your nose and count to ten. It helps.” 

You did as such, shoulders relaxing as the air finally seeped into your lungs. You wiped your mouth with the back of your hand, sighing at the crimson residue that was becoming all too familiar. You opened your mouth to speak, only to be gently hushed once more. 

“It’s okay, it’ll hurt too much if you talk.” He set the bucket down on the side table. “You should get yourself some grapeseed oil. A teaspoon a day should at least prevent the attacks so often.” Taeyong didn’t look at you as he spoke, his hands busying themselves with opening the small drawer to your coffee table in search of tissues. 

“You mean this?” You rasped, pulling the small droplet bottle from your pocket, and setting it down on the surface before you. Taeyong’s eyebrows creased. 

It was the exact same bottle he was sure he had. Though, catching sight of the label on the bottle he knew it was his bottle. ‘Taeyong’  scribbled messily on the labeled sticker. He looked at you expectantly. 

“Johnny gave it to me.” Just uttering his name sent a pang of hurt through you, a wave of emotion rippling from your jaw to the tips of your toes. 

Taeyong understood immediately, a deep sigh resonating as he nodded once. “He knows then.” To which you nodded, eyes fixed on your lap. 

He had never seen you cry, and he would hate to admit it but your eyes looked pretty when you did. It was as if the glaze of tears enhanced the colors of your iris. “He doesn’t know it’s this bad. He thinks the tickle has just started.” 

“____, you’re dying and you’re telling me Johnny hasn’t noticed yet?” To say that Taeyong was in disbelief was an understatement. The new knowledge that Johnny knew now had floored him. 

Why? Because Johnny hadn’t once let it show. Taeyong had been around the guy all week and he was still the happy comedic genius he always was. Not a hint of anything bothering him. 

“Yong, It’s okay. I..” You drew your knees up to your chest, patting the spot next to you for him. “I’ve come to terms with it.” 

“Come to terms with it?!” He spluttered. “____, you are in your twenties! You can’t be okay with dying in your twenties.” His hand raked through his hair, eyes blinking rapidly like he couldn't come to terms with how calm you looked right now. 

Taeyong could feel the anger bubbling up in his chest, his gaze hardening as he addressed you once more. “You know he’s been seeing her too, don’t you?”

You were silent, shame eating at your subconscious. “If I ignore it then he won’t have to be like this too.” 

Taeyong sprung up to his feet. “Wake up! He’s out there living his life with no regrets and you’re the one to suffer? I can’t…” He shook his head, shoving his clenched fists into his pockets. “I’m sorry, I just-” With one last shake of his head, Taeyong left you there. The slam of your front door announcing his absence.

Johnny remembered the conversation between the two of you very clearly. He was convinced he still loved you a lot. Just not in the way you need. At first, he thought it was doubt, but as time went on he started to notice the dry tickly cough and the abundance of petals scattered in your trash. He was sure it wasn’t harmful yet, certain that he still held the love in his heart for you. 

Johnny didn’t love Yuki. She was fun. She was different. She wasn’t you. He could spend time with her without any strings attached. It was freeing, knowing he wasn't destined to be with her no matter what. 

He felt guilt at first. He didn’t like lying to you, but it was for his own selfish gain that he did. Johnny had seen Taeyong go through the pain and near death of a soulmate falling out of love, he didn’t want that for himself. Johnny had too much to live for, as arrogant and self-centred as that sounded. 

 He remembered what you said when he gave you the vial of grapeseed oil, how your shaky hands had placed over his own. How you told him it was okay, it wasn’t his fault. But Johnny couldn’t help but think it was. Johnny tried so hard to make himself love you still. Your words of comfort swirled in his mind and kept him up at night. ‘Nobody can help who they do and don’t love. Feelings change, People don’t’ You’d said to him.

Johnny felt ashamed. Being unfaithful to you whilst you still loved him with every ounce of your soul. Deep down, Johnny knew you only had two options he just hoped you made a decision before it was too late. 

Taeyong had been seen by barely anyone all week. It was as if he was attending his classes and then picking up every extra shift or odd job imaginable. The Neos were even more shocked when Mark slapped a flier down on the dining table ping pong table in front of some of the brothers. A for sale flier, advertising their frat leader’s motorcycle. The very same one that he cherished and spent a fortune to modify. 

“Do you think he’s in debt?” Jungwoo frowned, setting his beer on the table. 

That question alone earned a chortled laugh. “Woo, we’re in university. We’re all in debt.” Yuta clapped him on the back. “But, on a serious note, He’s been acting super weird lately.” 

Everyone launched into debate, trying to determine why Taeyong would be selling his pride and joy so suddenly. Conversation ceased when the front door opened and the man in question shuffled into the open-plan living space with an exhausted wave. 

“Ty, are you actually selling the bandit?” The question came from Taeil, Neo frat’s oldest member. 

Taeyong moved through the living area, taking a seat at one of the beanbags littered around the table. “Already sold it.” He bobbed his head in a nod. 

It earned him many concerned looks. “Are you in trouble or something? Are you trying to cover the water bill from when Mark broke the faucet?” 

“No, Jae. I’m not in trouble. It’s not for me.”  He reassured, his voice dying down quietly. “It’s for ____.” 

Everyone stopped. Mark locked his phone, Yuta stopped chipping at his nail polish, and Taeil nearly spat out his beer. Jaehyun and Jungwoo were already staring at him. 

“Why?”

Taeyong took a deep breath, anticipating the question.It didn’t take long for him to catch them up to speed.  “You haven’t noticed? I can’t watch her die. Even if she’s come to terms with it.” 

“She’s not been to class for a few weeks. Professor Choi just straight-up skips over her name now. I’m guessing they know.” Jaehyun hummed. 

“Hm, Jaemin said he saw her last week on his midnight ramen run.” Mark recalled, “Said she looked like something out of living dead.” 

“Mark,” Taeyong gave him a warning look. The younger just shrugged his shoulders. “I’m going to book the operation for her. She doesn’t know. I just need the deposit. After that, it’s monthly payments. I can scrape enough together for the monthly just fine.” He looked pained. “Whenever I see her, it’s like I’m watching myself go through it again.” 

One by one, Jaehyun, Mark, Jungwoo, Yuta, and Taeil offered their help. 

The six of them didn’t make it known what their plans were but soon enough, after Taeyong had put what he had already saved with what the others offered, it was enough. He rocked up to the private medical center, cash in an envelope that was tucked neatly within the inside pocket of his jacket. 

Taeyong was pleasantly surprised that he was allowed to schedule and pay the deposit on your behalf. Acting on best interest. The receptionist did stress that you needed to fill in the form and sign consent upon arrival but Taeyong was more pleased that he was giving you a chance at life. That there was a possibility that you could carry on.

What he didn’t expect, was your immediate refusal when he brought the leaflet and forms over to your apartment the following morning. The smile dropped from his face as you tried to hide away from him.  ‘He could die.’ You’d cried at him. And whilst it had been proven he wouldn't, you were convinced. 

“He won’t, ____.” Taeyong begged. “Please, you can’t just accept this.” The bed dipped as he sat on the edge. The many times he had visited you now, you had always been. The last time you got up to open the door, Taeyong honestly worried that you would pass away right there on the doorstep. He took your spare key after that. 

Taeyong’s gentle fingers lifted the damp wash cloth from the bowl at your bedside, running the cool material over your brow and cheeks. A light smile twitched at the corner of your lips, the sensation easing your fever, only a little but it was better than before. He knew he wasn’t going to get many more words from you this evening. You’d exhausted yourself already for the evening. Taeyong was just content enough to sit here and care for you. 

Honestly, before it was known that you were Johnny’s soulmate, Taeyong had hoped you’d notice him. He had often found himself wishing that it wouldn’t last so he could at least have a shot with you. His hopes were crushed when Johnny had run through the fraternity declaring you were both soulmates. Taeyong had made peace with the idea that maybe he was meant to be alone, satisfied just by seeing you whenever Johnny brought you over to hang out. 

He never wished for this, though. 

Tenderest of touches brushed your hair away from where it had clung to your forehead. Taeyong clicking on the standing fan in an attempt to offer you some cool relief. “Trust me, ____.” He whispered, voice brittle. “I went through this.” His confession had your right eye cracking open. 

“Back in the first year,” Taeyong recalled. “Watching you and Johnny go through this… it’s like a mirror. I nearly died,” He picked up your hand, engulfing it in both of his own. “I refused the operation until it was nearly too late. For the same reason, actually.” 

Your fingers twitched in his own, your index finger hooking around his thumb to offer comfort. You have suspected Taeyong had some close experience with this. Especially in the way he always seemed to understand your pain, the sad gazes, and his drive to help you. You had never expected that he would be the one in your position though. The meer thought had tears welling up in your eyes. You seemed to cry a lot around the man these days. 

“He didn’t die though. Apparently, he just… coughed up the root.” He lifted your hand, the ghosting feeling of his lips against your knuckles. “I promise you, Johnny won’t die… At least think about it.” To which you nodded in agreement. 

Taeyong made you soup, your favorite kind. You weren’t even sure how he knew it was your favorite but he did. He parted from you with a lingering kiss to your hairline. Just like every night. This form of unrequited love seemed to of hurt him more than his last. 

He’d left the forms and leaflets on the empty bed space by your feet.

You’d asked Taeyong not to come over for the last four days. As worried as he was, he had to respect your wishes. You didn’t want him to see your sudden decline as you entered the last stage of the rejection. Meaning, that Johnny had almost fallen completely out of love with you now. 

You were expecting it, Taeyong too. You and Johnny had broken things off the last time you saw each other. Both of you doing so without even having to clarify the matter. He was free. Almost. 

Taeyong had been stressed all week, even his frat brothers had given him a wide berth. Many put it down to the lacrosse game the pending evening. Only a select few really knew that it was because today was the same day Taeyong had scheduled for your surgery. 

He hadn’t known it was the same day as the game, Jungwoo uttering the words with caution the day before. Taeyong swore to himself that he thought he booked it for next week. He didn’t even know if you were going to accept it… Any time he brought it up you tended to change the subject. 

How Taeyong managed to even pass the ball with steady swings amazed even himself, his hands hadn’t stopped shaking. He had nearly skipped the game in favor of being with you, but he knew he couldn’t.  The game had gone smoothly, they were winning by one. In fact, Johnny had to take the penalty shot. 

The whole field waited on bated breath, all eyes on Johnny as he just stood there, his expression morphed in such a way that Taeyong exchanged a look with Jaehyun.

“Seo! Take the damn shot already!” The coach didn’t even get through his ending word before Johnny’s form curled over, knees slamming into the ground. 

Taeyong rushed over as his friend tore off his helmet and spat his mouthguard to the ground. He would worry about that later. Taeyong slid to his knees beside Johnny, his own helmet crashing to the ground out of his grip. 

Johnny had never felt such pain. His airways were burning. The sensation in his chest felt like all the oxygen was being torn from him. The team crowded around him, blocking anyone else's view of the scene.  A choked cough left his throat, a shout of agony following after. Petals. Blood. Stems.  The flower was unwinding itself, pulling at the roots from within his chest and lungs. 

The team managed to maneuver Johnny back to the locker rooms, it took four of them to carry him but soon the male was slumped against the tiles of the showers. Taeyong was beside him once again. “Cough it up Johnny, you’ll do more damage if you don’t.” He tugged Johnny’s arm to sit him forward, his fist thumping down in the center of his back. “Johnny, come on!” 

To say Taeyong was relieved when Johnny finally started coughing again was an understatement. “You gotta carry it on, it’ll hurt but I’ve got you.” He pleaded over the sound of his friend’s cries and chokes. 

Johnny doesn’t know how long he continuously coughed for. All he knew was the last one to shake through his body finally offered him release, Taeyong tugging him away from the mangled mix of plant and blood only to rip him, Johnny, from his shock-induced state by shoving him under the freezing cold shower stream - kit and all. 

A big, clear breath left him. 

“What the fuck, John?” Ten peaked his head around the corner, having raced in after the team to check on his best friend. 

“Dude, that's your flower.” Mark grimaced, crouched down next to the offending object. 

The announcement made Johnny’s spine straighten, and Taeyong hung his head. “What does it mean?” Johnny shakily stood, pressing the button to stop the stream of cold water. 

It was fascinating how Johnny already felt better. He felt no pull in his chest, no weakness even after the whole ordeal. He felt new. But if he felt like this… then what had happened to you? The realization of what had happened weighed heavy on his guilt. 

He turned to address the sort of traumatized, faces around him but it wasn’t him that spoke up. It was Taeyong. “It means I need to find ____.” 

Taeyong had raced past his teammates and into the locker room without any further explanation. His phone cramped between his ear and shoulder as he tugged on his sweats at record speed. “C’mon, Petal. Pick up.” He swore to himself, only removing the device from his ear to throw on a t-shirt from his locker. It was a term of endearment he had taken to calling you of late, though quite often when you were too dazed to notice. 

He ignored the looks of confusion from his friends. Well, from those other than Mark and Jaehyun. From the look on Johnny’s face, he was still piecing things together. Taeyong didn’t have time for that, snatching the keys for the beat-up Honda he had gotten recently and sprinting from the room. 

Taeyong continued to call you on the way to your apartment. He had just hoped you’d gotten yourself to the appointment. He didn’t want to think about the possibility of losing you like this. He found himself afraid to enter your building, scared of what he may find. His head thumped against the steering wheel, eyes burning with unshed tears. You had to be okay. 

His phone buzzed, body jumped when he saw your name flash on the screen. He swiped to answer, bringing it up to his ear with a relieved sigh. “____.” He listened to your breathing for a split second, registering the steady beeps in the background. 

“Is he alive?” Your tone was filled with urgency but your voice was clearer than Taeyong had heard in weeks. It had a relieved laugh bubbling from his chest, salty droplets cascading down his cheeks and leaving his tear ducts with the tension in him. 

“He’s fine.” He sniffled, rubbing at his face. “ Petal, you’re okay. I tho-” You interrupted him with a soothing call of his name. 

“You were right.” He listened to you pause, the sounds of you sipping through a straw present in the receiver. “There are things I do have to live for.” You spoke quietly. “The first one being myself.” 

He hummed in agreement, starting up the car again. “Yeah? I’ll be there soon and you can tell me all about the second, Petal.” He was rewarded with a breathy laugh. “What?”

“Petal.” You murmured, Taeyong could hear the slumber lingering back into your tone. 

“Get some rest. I’ll be there soon.” He was about to pull the phone away from his ear when you quietly called his name again. 

“Yes?” He hummed, clicking the hands-free and setting the phone into the holder on the dash. 

“Can I tell you my second reason?” 

“What’s that, Petal?” He smiled softly to himself. 

“It’s you.”

©Acescavern - I do not give permission for my works to be copied, translated or reposted

Unnoticed

Taeyong x reader Genre: fluff? idek why do I put this if idk what to write? Warnings: None? I guess Word count: 1.4k (exactly 1,400 words wow) Summary: You knew from the start that Taeyong wasn't what other students thought he was. You never had a chance to talk to him, though, until now.

~~~~~~~ People are usually quick to judge you based on who you hang out with.

This is why even if he is the sweetest person in the world, being seen hanging out with Johnny Seo, Taeyong created a bad impression of himself to the rest of the college students.

Always kind to everyone, Taeyong wasn’t afraid to offer help to anyone he saw struggling. Soon, he stopped, after everyone declined and pulled shocked faces at the fact that a guy like Taeyong tried to talk to them.

Taeyong sat in the library, staring at the wall and thought about what he could have done so wrong to have people treat him like this.

His mind drifted to your friend, Jiyoon. She was a really sweet and quiet girl, always went unnoticed, even if she was always there. She had recently gotten out of a really abusive relationship and this had made her a closed shell. No matter how hard you and your group of friends tried to get her to trust people again, she was really hurt and didn’t listen to any of you.

Though, after being randomly paired with none other than Johnny Seo, for an assignment, she just needed to be seen talking to him once. After this, people started noticing her. The sudden attention at first shocked her, but it really helped her open up and regain her confidence. Now, the girl was glowing, having finally found herself again.

However, this positive effect seemed to only appear in women, since anyone that was a friend of Johnny Seo seemed to earn the "fuckboy" title.

It's not that Johnny, or any of his friends were fuckboys. It was just that a rumor an ex started about Johnny, soon lead to him and then all of his group of friends earning the title they so despised.

Taeyong was sad he was labeled as someone like this, just for having this certain group of friends, but still he wouldn’t trade them for the world.

"I'm sorry, the library seems to be full today, would you mind if I sat here? I'll be really quiet I promise." Your voice pulled him out of his thoughts. He looked around, indeed seeing the small library suddenly full of people and turned to look at you again, who was waiting for a reply. He simply nodded, a little too shocked as to why you chose his table out of everyone else's.

"Great, thank you, I promise you, you won’t even realize that I’m here." You said, sitting down and started pulling out your things.

Taeyong just sat there, secretly eyeing you opening your books and pulling out a few pencils and pens.

You didn’t spare him a glance, immediately focusing on your book and stopping a few times here and there to take a sip of your coffee or your water, or look around.

At a point you noticed how a table had emptied and turned to look at Taeyong. Your eyes met and he blushed, being caught staring at you and coughed, looking away.

"There's an empty table..." you trailed off and he turned to look at you again." Would you like me to move there so you can sit alone again?" You carefully asked and he shook his head 'no'.

"I don’t mind you being here. You can go if you want, but I really don't mind having you here. Either way, if you left then that would mean someone else might want to sit here and they might not be as quiet as you and I wouldn't want that" he joked and you sighed.

"No offence, but I don’t think anyone else would offer to sit here with you." You said and he raised his eyebrow, causing you to sigh again.

"I’m really sorry, this was really rude of me to say. But, you have created quite the bad impression to people." You said and he looked down.

"Oh my god, I'm really sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you, I thought you knew about it." You quickly started apologizing after seeing his reaction.

"It's okay, I knew it and I was just thinking about it. But, it hurts a little having it confirmed." He admitted and you pouted.

"You're not a bad guy, Taeyong. I remember when you used to go around and offer people help with studying. It was really sweet and I think people would really appreciate it." You said and he looked at you. "Do you think I could change people's opinion on me if I did this again?" He asked and you were thankful he didn’t question how you knew his name and didn’t comment on the fact that you had noticed him around since the beginning of his studies here.

"Maybe, but you could also start hanging out with some other people with a better reputation. I'm not saying you should quit your friends or anything, but maybe if you hung out with people like that, it would help you." You said and he seemed to be deep in thought.

You took his silence as a sign to turn back to your book, but soon his voice pulled you from your studying.

"Maybe..." he trailed off, avoiding your eyes and playing with his fingers.

He cleared his throat and spoke up again. "Maybe if I was seen around you, it could help show people I'm not as bad as they think I am" he said, but shook his head before you had a chance to react. "No, never mind, this would do the opposite. Instead of making me seem like a good person, it would ruin your reputation, since you'll be around someone like me," he said, still not looking at you.

"No, don't worry about it. I'm sure it will help you and even if it does ruin my reputation for a while, I can either fix it back, because of my friends, or simply let it be. To be honest, I don't really care about people's opinions and neither should you. But I know you actually do, so, I'm offering you my help." You said and he smiled, finally meeting your eyes.

"Thank you so much. I really needed this right now." He said and you grinned back at him. "Don't worry about it, I really wanted to be your friend for a long time, so now I finally have the chance" you said and your words shocked him.

"What? You wanted to be friends with me?" He said, his beautiful eyes widening, a cute confused expression forming on his face.

"Of course. I told you, I knew you were a good guy from the start. I wanted to talk to you, but that's when you stopped offering to help people, so I lost the chance to do so." You admitted and he was still looking at you shocked.

"Wow... I... don’t know what to say" he said, a big smile forming on his face.

"How about we go somewhere else to continue this? The librarian is staring at us with an angry expression, since we've been a little loud." You said and he chuckled.

"No problem, I know a really nice and quiet place. It's really cheap too, perfect for a college student." He offered and started collecting his things, as you did the same, the librarian sighing having finally gotten rid of the two of you. Her reaction made you and Taeyong chuckle.

"Nostalgia, right?" You said and he stopped walking and looked at you, again shocked.

"How did you know?" He asked and you chuckled.

"You know it from Johnny, right? That's where Jiyoon and he met up for their assignment. She learned it from me." You explained and he shook his head chuckling.

"You have shocked me too many times today" he said and you laughed.

"Be prepared, because you still don't know much about me" you said and he laughed.

"Is that a warning?" He joked and you chuckled.

"Yes," you joked back and you laughed together.

It seemed like your plan was already working, since people were already shocked, looking at the two of you leaving the campus together.

It was funny how you went unnoticed by him, even if you were constantly around, looking for a chance to finally talk to him.

But now that you did get the chance, you’ll enjoy every moment spent with him.

indigo

pairing: nct taeyong x afab reader 

genre: utter fluff. 

prompt: just when taeyong thought life couldn’t get more perfect, you’ve given him a whole 360

warning: none. pregnancy? 

word count: 600~

a/n: not edited, just another 4 am story come alive

song: indigo by camilo + evaluna <3

you’re nervous.

of course you’re nervous. you’ve emptied his precious office space and painted it stark white, apart from one wall.

you stare at the one wall again. blink and stare. and then your stomach flips. because the more you look at it, the more real it all gets for you. your stomach flips and your heart sinks. but not in an entirely bad way.

you know he’s going to be happy. you’ve talked about it before. he wants this just as much as you do. but you can’t help the emotion that bears over your pride and excitement. there’s still a small part of you that worries that this isn’t the right time for this.

the wet paint brush in your hand dries up with every second you stand there staring at your work of art. eventually, you begin to clean up. it’ll distract you from the nerves.

by the time you’re finished, the wall had nearly completely dried up. and it’s when you hear the keys jingle at the door. it swings open and in come a pair of foot steps. soft pads get louder into the hallway until you hear it, him calling you name. “y/n? you in here?”

he answers his question by slowly pushing the restroom door open to reveal you standing over the sink with clean brushes now. his eyes shine brighter and brighter the more his smile grows once he locks eyed with you. and you don’t fight the smile in return to him.

“i did something,” you start, deciding there’s no other way than to just tell him. “It’s in your office.”

“Yeah?”

He’d given you permission to use it however you wanted, said he didn’t really need it anymore since building the shed in the backyard was a better idea anyway. he didn’t know you’d gut it completely, no idea that you’d even work on this today of all days.

the smile on your face grows as he inches closer to the room, hands placed over his eyes to add suspense. he doesn’t forget to question what you’ve done. “should I be worried?” he laughs.

“you ready?”

you hear him take a whiff, inhaling the strong chemical scent of paint. he nods and you remove your hands.

“oh,” his eyes wander along the empty floor, empty walls, it all blends together and then he looks to his right. “what’s this?”

he takes a few steps closer to the one non blank wall. it’s much colorful than the others, bright blocky letters spelling something out. and above it hangs a small photo. black and white. far too hard to see from the doorway.

once his eyes narrow in to read the words, “sorry for kicking you out, dad.” you watch his eyes glance with rapidness between the photo and the lettering. and then it clicks.

he crouches down, head between his knees and in his hands and immediately you hear a sob.

you can’t help but giggle at the sight, always so amused with how sensitive taeyong could get over something so ordinary. and it’s so comforting to know you and your future child are at the end of it.

once you’re at level with him, you wrap your arms around his shoulders and bring him in where he envelops you in his own arms.  

“are you serious?” he questions you with the biggest smile on his face. as you nod, you retrieve the pregnancy tests from your pocket and hand them over to him. his eyes twinkle upon sight of the two little plus signs; positive.

“we’re having a baby.”

“we are having a baby,” you echo back.

NCT 127 SEASON'S GREETINGS ICONS / HEADERS

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