The-interidiot - Shoving Content Down Your Throat - Tumblr Blog
I hate how I’m like a bomb. When I get scared I cause harm to everyone around me, damage I can’t fix. I can’t handle people comforting me because people trying to diffuse a bomb puts them at risk. They’re right next to the bomb and will die first when it goes off. I don’t want to be a bomb. I want to have people close to me and I can’t.
I think im dying help help my brain hurts i want to be home but not home i want to be home but alone so i can hide under my bed and fucking scream and wrap myself in my weighted blanket under the bed and and cry and then die of a sudden heart attack
im mostly staying on anon so you wont feel bad if you lash out, but if it would help you more, i can dm you. can you try to tell me five things you can see right now?
please dm me it’s easier
unless you don’t want to
it’s fine
the wall my backpack my hand water on the floor a piece of plastic
dont apologize, i get being angry and thinking people are lying to you. you can yell at me if you like, if it will help. i wont be upset. but im not lying when i say that i care about your wellbeing.
fuck you fuck you im sorry i probably care about you a ton your probably like a mutual or something or somebody I care about im sorry im so fucking sorry I need to fucking explode I’m sorry I’m sorry please don’t be mad at me
im so sorry youre going through a lot, but i promise it will pass. you will be okay. people care about you, i care about you
I don’t fucking care about an anonymous message telling me something that isn’t fucking true fuck you
PLEASE FUCKING ADMIT THAT YOU HATE ME PLEASE PLEASE FUCKING ADMIT YOU DESPISE ME YOU FUCKING HATE ME
nine minutes, and THEN I can go hide under the stairs and fucking sob
I’m so fucking sorry for this I’m so fucking sorry I’m sorry whatever I say I don’t mean whatever I do I’m sorry and I didn’t mean it and you were completely fine and I’m sorry
I don’t hate you, mutuals, I swear to god I love all of you so much (/p) and I’m sorry and I’m sorry and maybe I’ll be fine I’ll probably be fine I’m a fucking coward im sorry im sorry im sorry
I hate myself I hate you I hate everything I hate my blood I hate my skin I hate the air I hate feeling I hate being able to feel the air like it’s physical I hate your voice I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you fucking please kill me kill me please I’m a wounded fucking animal somebody needs to shoot me put me down please please fucking kill me please please
please please somebody please fucking say anything to me please somebody can hear me right somebody can see this help fucking fucking help I need help anything please even just say hi just say hello to me I need to know I exist before I fucking kill myself please please fucking god I’m begging you please I will do anything I’ll do fucking anything
its not fucking fair that im like this
that im too fucked up of a barely person i cant feel deserving of any comfort
but i want it and i cant get it because im scared and even when i ask i am ignored again and again and again and again and again and ive realized now that its not about my problems, its about me being a pathetic fucked up excuse of a person who doesnt deserve mind or space or air
i want somebody to fucking maul me like an animal just fucking go to town with a hatchet or a brick or a knife of a car or a cord i want to be unrecognizable i want my body to be a John Doe and for nobody to ever fucking care when they find it so it can reflect my pathetic fucking life
nobody is going to care when they find my body
please help me
im only physically safe because theres people in the room with me
i
I’m scared nobody will be able to help me I’m scared I’m sorry that I’m saying I’m scared because it isn’t any of you guys jobs or even something you should worry about but I don’t know if I’m going to be okay and I just need to express my fear because I’m not okay I will not be okay I will not be okay I will not be okay please
fuck fuck fuckity fuck I can’t fucking do this it’s fucking over I can’t do this I can’t do this I can’t do anything at school right now in this room I need to leave I need to hide somewhere I need to disappear I need to fucking help help help help help help help help please I’m sorry I’m sorry for asking it’s okay I’m sorry nevermind I need help please if you can please if you want
mutual here you are very silly and i like talking to you a lot :]
Y’know what’s funny? I was literally drafting a random vent post begging people to tell me if they liked me, so this was fairly well timed.
(Not that I’d expect you guys to follow vent posts btw /gen /lh)
I wish all of those currently on their period a lovely week <3 anyways here take my blorbo being in pain
toople doople i want to kms hows you guys days going