The Cat (again)

The cat (again)

Akutagawa: Atsushi, I need your help. Atsushi: What? Why? How did you get my number? Akutagawa: Never mind that. Listen, I’m in a bit of a situation here. Atsushi: What kind of situation? Akutagawa: Well, you see, I accidentally adopted a cat. Atsushi: You what? Akutagawa: Don’t judge me. It was cute and fluffy and it followed me home. But now I don’t know what to do with it. It keeps scratching me and making weird noises. Atsushi: And you want me to help you with that? Akutagawa: Yes, please. You’re good with animals, right? You have that white tiger thing. Atsushi: That’s not a pet, that’s my ability. Akutagawa: Whatever. Just come over and help me. Please. Atsushi: Fine, fine. I’ll be there in a few minutes. But don’t expect me to be nice to you. Akutagawa: Thank you, Atsushi. You’re a lifesaver. Atsushi: Don’t mention it. Literally, don’t ever mention this to anyone.

he angy

One hellava speech.

Fukuzawa: I have an important announcement to make. Agency members: What is it? Fukuzawa: As you know, we have been struggling financially for a while. Our expenses are too high and our income is too low. We need to find a way to save money and increase our revenue. Agency members: How are we going to do that? Fukuzawa: Well, I have decided to implement some changes in our organization. Starting from today, we will be merging with the Port Mafia. Agency members: What?! Fukuzawa: Yes, you heard me right. We will be joining forces with our former enemies and working together as one team. Agency members: How is that possible? How did you even agree to that? Fukuzawa: It was not easy, but I managed to negotiate a deal with Mori. He agreed to share his resources and profits with us in exchange for our cooperation and loyalty. Agency members: And you accepted that? Don’t you know he’s a ruthless and cunning leader who will stab us in the back at the first opportunity? Fukuzawa: Of course I know that. But we have no choice. This is the only way to survive in this harsh world. Besides, we have an advantage over him. We have Dazai on our side. Agency members: Dazai? How is he an advantage? Fukuzawa: He’s the only one who can outsmart Mori and foil his plans. He’s our secret weapon. Agency members: But he’s also a traitor who left us for the Port Mafia in the first place. Fukuzawa: That’s true, but he also came back to us eventually. He’s loyal to us in his own way. He’s our double agent. Agency members: Are you sure about that? How can we trust him? Fukuzawa: We can’t. But we can use him.

Sad truths.

Ranpo: I have a riddle for you. Poe: Okay, let’s hear it. Ranpo: What has a face and two hands, but no arms or legs? Poe: A clock. Ranpo: No, that’s wrong. Poe: What? How is that wrong? Ranpo: The correct answer is Dazai. He has a face and two hands, but no arms or legs because he’s always trying to kill himself. Poe: That’s not a riddle, that’s just a fact. And a sad one at that.

Damn... Now suffer the wrath of Elise

Mori: I have a surprise for you. Elise: Is it a cake? Mori: No. Elise: Is it a pony? Mori: No. Elise: Is it a murder? Mori: …Maybe.

Fyodor is angerly

Fukuzawa: As the leader of the Armed Detective Agency, I have to make sure everyone is safe and happy. Mori: As the leader of the Port Mafia, I have to make sure everyone is scared and miserable. Fukuzawa: Why are we so different? Mori: Because you’re a saint and I’m a sinner.