I Am Sobbing Because I Read One Of The Best Soukoku Fanfics Ever And Then Asagiri Is Throwing Darts At

I am sobbing because I read one of the best soukoku fanfics ever and then Asagiri is throwing darts at photos of everybody we love and the Twilight Finale/Goodbye is coming out soon and I am looking forward to Monday, but also hella scared.

Wait.

What if the story of Bungou Stray Dogs is just a frame narrative. So maybe Atsushi is telling this story to his children, but it's their bedtime, so he tells them that he will tell the rest of the story the next night. Atsushi then cuddles for the rest of the night with his husband, Akutagawa, who pretends to be a vampire, making both of them laugh.

In the morning, their children meet up with Chuuya and Dazai's children, who are joined by Higuchi and Gin's kid. Kenji and Kyouka reveal that they are engaged. Poe and Ranpo call in from America to say they can make the wedding date. Yosano and Kouyou shed tears at this beautiful turn of fate. Nikolai and Fyodor show up, and everyone is jokingly mad at them. Fyodor promised to bring his band over for the wedding. Nikolai says he can provide the entertainment. Kyouka and Kenji have invited Mori and Fukuzawa, who were currently on a honeymoon in Italy.

Fukuchi died because he set one order wrong and ended up killing himself and nobody else.

Aya and Teruko live with Bram and Sigma.

Kunikida started up his old relationship with Katai, and managed to clean him up a bit.

Jouno and Tetchou live happily but the Hunting Dogs group chat keeps getting spammed by Jouno and his text-to-speech.

Tachihara and Tanizaki get together after Naomi forced him to go on a double date with her and Haruno.

Lucy and Lousia get a thing going on, leaving Fitzgerald and Steinbeck alone. They get a thing going too.

Lovecraft stays asleep (he tired of this)

And they all lived gaily ever after (pun intended).

This was Asagiri can keep the mystique of what happened, leaving the fandom to wonder how everybody was still alive, and begging Asagiri on a daily basis to ask him how he did it.

There is no other way.

Wait. 2.0 Very scary version.

You know how Meursalt is set in France right. I am 35.56% sure that France called their best buddies, England over.

That means The Order of The Clock Tower will most likely arrive, just as this pandemonium will reach its crescendo.

Asagiri is far too smart to mention a group of ability users, and then not have them show up in the story. This will end the Meursalt Arc, and begin the Clock Tower Arc, in which some highly patriotic brits will 'FIGHT FOR THEIR COUNTRY'.

This will mostly end BADLY. Lets hope this is not the version Asagiri has in mind. If it is, this is a lovely warning to stock up on fluffy fanfics and wait in mortal terror for October.

A theory on the Upcoming Episode

The next episode Bones is releasing is called 'Twilight Finale'

Lets break this down:

Twilight

Theory 1 - In the early chapters of the manga and episodes of the anime, the Armed Detective Agency are the peacekeepers of the Twilight - a time when the Government and the Port Mafia do not operate. The use of the word 'Twilight' suggests that this may be about the Armed Detective Agency.

Theory 2 - The franchise 'Twilight' is a gothic franchise about vampires, werewolves and romance. If we say the Armed Detective Agency are the 'Vampires' and the Hunting Dogs are the 'Werewolves' it fits rather nicely, considering in the 'Twilight' franchise they do have a war. (You can tell how little I know about Twilight lol)

Finale

Theory 1 - This could mean that this would be the last episode of Bungou Stray Dogs. The Last One. EVER.

Theory 2 - This could simply mean that this will be the last episode of season 5

Theory 3 - The author Dazai Osamu's last book was titled 'Goodbye'. The poet, Nakahara Chuuya, has a poem called, 'Autumn Song' which references a dying man who acts like all hope is lost for him. Do what you will with this information.

Theory 4 - This is the last episode Bones will make because they are very broke because they spent all their money on old man yaoi.

wait shouldn't have said that

Death Stray Dogs chaos

Dazai and Chuuya, watching Death Note: Mori looks like Ryuk Fyodor, outside the window: I SHALL BE THE GOD OF THIS NEW WORLD. Dazai, later, stealing Ranpoe's chips: ILL TAKE A POTATO CHIP, AND EAT IT Kunikida: Well what the fucking else were you going to do to it? Ranpo: I burn more calories than any of you, using just my brain. Yosano: Are you calling me stupid? Dazai: Chainsaw man gonna turn into Chainsaw Lady. Kyouka: Someone take away Dazai's Crunchyroll privileges. Kunikida, on the phone with Katai: Already on it. Ranpo: OOH. He's on speed dial