And Several Other Things

And several other things

Percy: I’m not afraid of anything. Annabeth: Really? What about spiders? Percy: Okay, I’m afraid of one thing. Annabeth: And sharks? Percy: Two things. Annabeth: And heights? Percy: Three things. Annabeth: And needles? Percy: Four things. Annabeth: And clowns? Percy: Five things. Annabeth: And commitment? Percy: Hey!

Sickzai

Chuuya: Dazai, where are you? We have a mission to do. Dazai: Sorry, Chuuya. I can’t come. I’m sick. Chuuya: Sick? What kind of sick? Dazai: The kind of sick that makes you cough, sneeze, and have a fever. Chuuya: Oh, you mean a cold? Dazai: No, I mean a terminal illness. Chuuya: Don’t be dramatic, Dazai. It’s just a cold. Take some medicine and get over it. Dazai: No, Chuuya. It’s too late for me. I’m dying. Tell everyone I love them. Especially you. Chuuya: Dazai, stop being ridiculous. You’re not dying. You’re just trying to get out of work. Dazai: No, Chuuya. I’m serious. This is the end. Goodbye, my love. Chuuya: Dazai, don’t you dare hang up on me. Dazai? Dazai!

Ranpo is eagerly waiting for the new level.

Kunikida: Ranpo, please focus. We have a case to solve. Ranpo: I am focused. I’m just multitasking. Kunikida: Multitasking? You’re playing Candy Crush on your phone. Ranpo: And solving the case in my head. Kunikida: Really? Then tell me, who’s the culprit? Ranpo: Easy. It’s the guy with the red hat and the mole on his chin. Kunikida: How did you know that? Ranpo: I saw him on the security footage. Kunikida: Then why didn’t you say so earlier? Ranpo: Because I was busy playing Candy Crush. Duh.

On today's Shin Soukoku shenanigans

Akutagawa: I hate you, Nakajima. Atsushi: I hate you too, Akutagawa. Akutagawa: You’re weak, pathetic, and useless. Atsushi: You’re cruel, arrogant, and ruthless. Akutagawa: You’re a waste of space and oxygen. Atsushi: You’re a menace to society and humanity. Akutagawa: You’re the worst thing that ever happened to me. Atsushi: You’re the best thing that ever happened to me. Akutagawa: Wait, what? Atsushi: What?

Author vs. Book

Tanizaki: What are you reading? Dostoyevsky: Crime and Punishment. Tanizaki: Oh, I love that book. What part are you at? Dostoyevsky: The part where Raskolnikov kills the old woman with an axe. Tanizaki: That’s the beginning of the book. Dostoyevsky: I know. I’ve been reading it for three years.

Yosano is ... Crazy, to say the least.

Yosano: I’m going to heal you, but it’s going to hurt a lot. Kyouka: How much? Yosano: On a scale of one to ten, it’s a twelve. Kyouka: Can’t you use anesthesia or something? Yosano: No, that would interfere with my ability. You have to feel the pain to appreciate the healing. Kyouka: That sounds like a twisted philosophy. Yosano: It’s not a philosophy. It’s a fact.