I'm Always Funny. You're Just Not Smart Enough To Keep Up. (Teaser!)

I'm Always Funny. You're Just Not Smart Enough To Keep Up. (Teaser!)

Max Verstappen X reader

Danny Ricciardo X reader platonic.

Not sure if anyone here is an F1 fan but I've recently gotten into F1 and I've started writing a small fanfiction of Max Verstappen Fake relationship Au! Please tell me if you like this and want the rest of it! Enjoy~

Max had just broken up with his long time girlfriend Kelly Piquet. 

They had disagreed on their future plans and had decided it would be better to part ways. It was an amicable split and Max still visited Penelope. However, the media wasn’t kind to him, not that it usually was.

Fans were in a roar over the split calling him all sorts of names for the past seven months.

It wasn’t too bad until the sponsors started to look a bit concerned over the state of the media.

Y/N, being a small town girl from Perth Australia, knew Daniel Ricciardo from when she was younger. His sister Michelle would babysit Y/N from time to time and that's how she came to meet the ever enthusiastic personality that was Daniel.

Daniel, alongside Michelle, had been like an older sibling to Y/N. He would always visit her or text her to catch her up on his state of affairs. 

After his ill-fated departure from Mclaren, to which Y/N was still fuming over. He had spent two months back in Australia, lounging around before Y/N and Michelle told him to get back into what he really loved.

Sure enough, Daniel returned to RedBull as a reserve driver alongside his old teammate Max Verstappeh and Sergio “Checo” Perez.

It was at this point Max had been receiving scalding comments and the Public Relations (PR) Manager had decided it would be a good idea for Max to date someone new with good media presence. Someone who the fans were bound to like.

That is exactly where Y/N came in. She had been featured on Daniel's social media before and made small cameo’s on RedBull and Mclaren videos, wishing Danny luck in his races or even supporting him in person.  

~~~~~~

Max walked alongside Y/N at a brisk pace. They were wading through the crowd of press just before the paddock and after the car park. Y/N was slightly uncomfortable with the firm grip that Max had on her hand but refrained from speaking up. He, after all, was paying her salary, so to speak. 

“Smile,” Max grunted out. Nodding at the press and giving half smiles in a seemingly out of character style. 

Y/N, who was already smiling hissed through her teeth.

“The hell you think I'm doin’ mate?” She then turned slightly away to wave at the photographers,

“Morning! Hope you’re all well rested! Make sure to drink enough water too!” She called out to the mass of people. Y/N understood that these people had to make a living and if you were nicer to them, they were bound to return the favour, although that was easier said than done.

Verstappen kept a pleasant expression as he continued to walk past people, signing hats along the way. 

“When can we stop this damn circus act?” He hissed into her ear, his voice sounding like the grind of gravel. 

“Whenever your PR Manager lets us.” She replied, her smile unfaltering as she kept walking beside him.

“This is all a stupid waste of money and time.” He grumbled under his breath. “This whole relationship thing and the sponsors.” Y/N cocked her head knowingly and replied,

"You need those sponsors and so does RedBull. Anyways, don’t give me a hard time because of it, yeah? I’m just doing my job to the best of my ability.” It wasn't as if she didn't want the money, however she also did it to help out Danny. Apparently the situation had made Max a little crabby.

Max sighed, “You have no idea who many different people we have to play happy couple for to satisfy the sponsors.” to which Y/N smirked and retorted with.

“I dunno, maybe the whole world, Mr Formula 1 World Champion?” Max rolled his eyes dismissively, effectively losing his facade.

“Do you know how much the sponsors pay me to keep you around? Don’t smart mouth me man.” He spat out, scowling and crossing his arms defensively. He pointed at the camera’s who had now turned back to you at the suddenly escalating conversation as moths were drawn to light.

Luckily they hadn’t heard the conversation, only seen the wild gestures that Max had thrown out in exasperation. 

Y/N, being the quick thinker she was, gently patted his shoulder and stepped closer to him,

“Calm down mate, they’re looking at us. Let’s just get inside the paddock yeah? Then we can argue when we get to the motor home.” She whispered slowly, hoping to ease his stress.

“Whatever, " Verstappen muttered, his voice ever harsh and monotonous.

He led her by the small of her back past the photographers and past the gates and into the paddock. He kept you firmly by his side while remaining silent. It seemed like he wasn’t going to talk until they were both tucked into a private building. Or as private as it would get.

As they briskly walked by, they passed some children who were staring in awe at Max. Y/N smiled at the children and tugged on his short sleeve gently.

“Max, give them an autograph! Look, they're so cute. This one’s wearing a mini version of your race suit!” She exclaimed, clearly taken by the children who were bubbling with energy.

Max, as a result of Y/N’s excitement, stopped walking and looked over at her with his signature grim expression before seeing the children. His eyes shifted and his expression became light hearted and almost charming.

“Yeah, alright I’ll sign a few things for you guys.” He grinned at the kids that had gathered around began thanking him incredulously in adoration as their favourite Formula one driver signed their shirts and caps.

Max suddenly turned to Y/N with a small smile,

“Here,” he said, handing her a sharpie, “You should sign one too. They’ll like it.” Y/N shook her head, shy from the sudden attention. 

“But I’m not famous like you. They don’t know me.” She turned to the children, sheepish, waiting for them to collectively agree. Yet, to her surprise one of the younger girls reached out to hug her and exclaimed,

“I know you! You’re Max’s girlfriend! My older brother says you’re pretty!” The little girl beamed up at her and pointed at an older male of similar facial structure who was blushing.

Y/N laughed in surprise and smiled brightly at the young girl.

“Hey love! Would you like me to sign your shirt?” She kneeled down to face the girl and all the younger kids. The children that were now surrounding you went crazy, screaming “Yes!” and “Please!”

They held out their belongings for her to sign, clearly overjoyed. She laughed in delight while Max looked on, while chatting to other young fans.

Y/N gave each of them a hug before signing their shirts.

“Oh and here!” She took out a large ziplock bag that was filled to the brim with friendship bracelets she had made for the fans.

“Take these! There’s enough for all of you.” She ruffled the closest childs hair. Max watched in amusement as the children who were absolutely beside themselves, trying on their new bracelets.

“You’re good with the fans,” he said, actually sounding genuine and kind for once. Y/N shook her head, smiling and waving at the children still as they walked away.

“Nah, I just love the kids. I want them to have good memories that build into hope and motivation.” She looked at Max and gave him a small smile.

“That’s very kind of you.” Verstappen replied, sounding surprisingly sincere. They both walked towards the motorhouse and as they reached the entrance Max opened the door for Y/N and signalled for her to enter.

Y/N walked through, thanking him on the way and waved hello while passing all the staff and volunteers of the Red Bull team.

The pair made their way, through all the greetings and then into Max’s room where Max closed the door behind them both and then turned to face Y/N.

“Alright, no more fake smiles or pleasantries. He sighed, “Do you know how long we’re stuck with this whole fake relationship thing?” He asked while plopping down onto his bed, unceremoniously to which Y/N shook her head. She herself was unsure.

“Nope. I was hired for a year-long contract but it wasn’t definitive,” She sighed and sat down on his chair and spun to face him.

“I think it wouldn’t be too bad for us to be friends Max.” She sat forward with her elbows on her knees.

“It’s not like we’re attracted to each other. It would make life easier if we got along, no?" Max stared at her, inquisitive.

“Friends.” He said slowly, almost as if tasting the word before he tilted his head to say,

“Friends don't usually get paid to be with one another.” Max raised his eyebrows.

“But, I guess being friends wouldn't be too bad. It’s not like anything would happen between us anyways.” Y/N nodded and chuckled, 

“I mean, I get paid to pretend to be your girlfriend. We could totally do it from afar y’know?” she shrugged, smiling.

“That sounds like a great idea.” Max said sarcastically. 

“I’ll just yell ‘I love you’ through a megaphone at you from a distance and we’ll keep it going that way.” He smirked mischievously, crossing his arms to which Y/N burst into laughter in sheer surprise. 

“Right! That would get all the fans roaring.” She chuckled loudly, enjoying his dry humour.  She gave him a genuine smile before asking, 

“You’re really funny when you want to be huh?”

Verstappen rolled his eyes with a subtle upturn in lips at your amusement. Y/N had an instinct that he was proud of the reaction he got out of her.

“I’m funny all the time.” He retorted, “You’re just not smart enough to pick up on it.” He said with a cocky smile.

~~

AND THATS THE TEASER! please comment if you'd like the rest!? Thank You for reading!

YUS LOTR FTW (along with every other franchise that people enjoy)

REBLOG IF YOU ARE FEMALE AND A FAN OF THE HOBBIT/LOTR AND TOLKIEN'S MIDDLE EARTH!!!

This is to prove to SOME people that we girls can love it too and it is not just designed for boys!!

Imagine Defending Neteyam.

Neytiri: “Where were you?”

Jake: “Yeah? What happened to, ‘Keep an eye on your brother’”

Neteyam: “Sorry sir.”

Y/N: “No, Neteyam do not be sorry.” You turn to Neytiri and Jake and snarl.

Y/N: “Neteyam is not your baby sitter. He is Lo’ak’s brother. Do not blame him for your parenting.

Neytiri hisses and Jake frowns

Y/N: Bares her teeth, “You know I am right and so does your mate. Turning to Jake, Enough blaming. Lo’ak is your son not Neteyam’s. Both look up to you and try their best. You are too hard on them.

Y/N sends them one last look and walks away, taking Neteyam’s hand with her.

Neteyam: flushes “Thank you, you did not have to-” 

Y/N: cuts him off “No, you do not deserve to be pressured like this, you are not your brothers keeper. I know your parents love you however, I must say they have a strange way of showing it." You smile and tug his hand gently.

Y/N: "Come my love, we shall see what Lo’ak has to say for himself. Irresponsible as he is, there is always entertainment in his stories. "

You both smile and walk away.

Imagine Fili and Kili being saved because of Y/N. (Part 1)

Y/N: "Thorin when you see Azog you need to run down to the tower straight away."

Thorin: "The tower? Why must I run down to the tower. Why would Fili be there? How do you-"

Y/N: "Stubborn dwarf, do as I say! You will catch him when he falls."

Thorin: "Falls? What do you mean?-

-Y/N runs off-

Azog: *in dark speech* This one dies first, and then the brother. Then you Thorin OakenShield. You will die las-"

-Y/N appears behind them slicing off the orcs heads and throwing a dagger into Azog's arm.-

Azog: *Growls in annoyance and throws fili down* You! How did you get up here?

Y/N: "Shut up Orc scum, you bore me. By the way, next time you try kill someone, save us the speech. You're not cut out for public speaking."

-She peers down to see Fili has been caught by Thorin-

Y/N: "Well it seems as though you've failed to kill this dwarf. I wonder if you'll find a streak."

-Azog attempts to initiate combat with Y/N but she dodges and weaves his attacks-

Thorin: "Y/N come down! We need to retreat!"

Y/N: "Until next time!"

-Y/N flips off and uses daggers to dig into the tower as she descends, slowing her fall enough to allow her to land infront of Fili and Thorin-

Fili: *breathlessly* "Wow"

Y/N: "Now now Fili, don't go falling for me." *She winks* "You're a crown prince after all."

Thorin: "He'll have to wait in line."

Y/N: *clueless* "For what?"

----------

I kinda imagined this but I couldn't find a gif aha- HOPE YOU ENJOY MY FIRST THING BACK, not used to writing again but hope it's ok ;_;

EX'S TO LOVERS IS ALWAYS A W

believe it | pjm (m)

banner by the sweetest @hobiandsprite​ 💓

pairing ↠ mechanic!jimin x reader

genre ↠ friends to enemies to lovers (it’s more complicated though) | (high school + bet AU) | fluff, angst, smut

word count ↠ 28,758

18+ | warnings ↠ drinking, swearing, there’s a high school au (in the form of a flashback), there’s a pool and a party– stuff happens 🤭, arguing, there’s a kiss in the rain, explicit sexual content: lots of kissing, nipple play, dirty talk, softdom!jimin, spit kink, teasing, fingering, multiple orgasms, grinding, a blowjob, unprotected sex (this is fiction!).

summary ↠ When your car breaks down late at night in your hometown and the door you knock on just happens to belong to the man that was almost yours, it opens the floodgates to memories you had hoped to keep suppressed and those you’ve never forgotten about.

Jimin remembers it all too — the many words that were left unsaid between you, and the many feelings left unresolved. And now he wants to make it right.

a/n: askdhflkghs it’s here! 😋 this was supposed to be a short story (but i’m clearly incapable of that lol) inspired by the recent bangtan shoots 😍 i forced myself to keep it a short as i could so there might be some parts where it’s a bit abrupt/i don’t set the scene smoothly..? 😅 idk, also a disclaimer: the flashback is in past tense and I’m sure some of it is messed up, sorry! but on another note, i do think this might be some of the hottest smut i’ve written?!? 👀 also this is the first time i’ve written a spit kink lmao ;) a huge thank you to @noranj​ for beta-reading! 💓

here’s the song recs for this oneshot:

believe it — partynextdoor & rihanna best mistake — ariana grande feat. big sean hanging by a moment — lifehouse only hope — mandy moore make it right — bts 

Keep reading

Imagine Defending Lo'ak About Payakan

Tonowari: "This is the Tulkun way. Payakan is a killer so, he is outcast.

Lo'ak: "I'm sorry sir, but you're wrong."

Neytiri: "Lo'ak! You speak to Olo'eyktan"

Lo'ak: "I know what I-"

Jake: "That's enough-"

Y/N: "Let him speak!"

Tsireya shakes her head.

Lo'ak "I know what I know."

Ronal hisses

Jake: "That's enough. I'll take care of this one.

Y/N: Snarls "He has done nothing wrong. You did not tell him of this. Do not blame Tisreya or Lo'ak for your mistakes."

Y/N takes Lo'aks hand and walks away

Lo'ak: It's no use. They still think of me as a disappointment.

Y/N: You aren't a disappointment my friend. You are young and curious. Payakan chose you. You bonded with a Tulkun. This is no feat to be ignored.

Lo'ak looks up with blurry eyes

Y/N: Do not be disheartened friend. You remind your father too much of himself. That is why he is hard on you. Your mother and father love you very much. Now come, Tisreya must be looking for you!