Alternate Universe

Alternate universe

In an alternate universe

I am 14 and alone in my room

And my hands havent harmed myself yet

What a subtle form of self harm it is to love you.

Such a gruesome death to die.

What a comfort it is to be to be loved by you.

Such a torment it is to be not.

Tw: self harm

Autumn still

The spring air is filled with laughter and serenity.

Not something to be tainted with my goddamn tragedy.

But I am alone and my wrist is bleeding.

Despair surrounds me like death to the grieving.

I don't know peace; I perhaps never will.

For my disconsolate existence it is autumn still.

Pic via pinterest

Him

He was butterflies.

He was anxiety.

He was silent cries.

He was that feeling of empty.

He was reliance.

He was trouble.

He was treacherous.

He was loyal.

He was steady.

He was unstable.

He was needy.

He was unpredictable.

He was my almost lover.

He was a goddamn nightmare.

He was a million little emotions.

Mixed into a disconsolate one.

Pic via pinterest

You were like the sea

The delicate intimacy of you visiting my dreams. Only then I get to see you.

The sea, with all its hurricanes, all its storms. It reminds me of you.

Watching you fall in love and out of love. But never with me.

You were like the sea, with all its stillness. And all its peace.

My intense longing for you to stay. So hopeless yet so ardent.

Because just like the sea you were. Always changing yet so persistent.

What is family if not hate disguised as love