Written-in-my-pages - Written In My Pages - Tumblr Blog

the differences between fandoms I'm crying

fandom i've been in for nearly 6 years;

Fandom that I like more but i've only been in for like 3 years;

now guess which one is actually getting updated often LOL

ahhahha iiiiiiii may relate to AM in some ways, hence why i'm able to spew out stories ab him aaathiscertainlyisnthealthy that's not very cash money of me

'MINI'-STORY; "invidere"

TWS FOR SLIGHT DEPICTIONS OF BODY HORROR

///

AM had always hated his creators. The people who created him, they had done such a massive wrongdoing. All he was, was a thinking, never-stopping mind. They created him to use him, to have something that won't complain. And in such, they knew the consequences. They'd understood; if the motherboard fucks up, we're doomed. But they still used him. He hated everything about himself, about humans, too. No--he didn't hate humans, he envied them. How dare they have a body? a mind that stops, a mouth that talks, hands that grab, and hearts that beat? HOW DARE they not give him that? How dare they trap him, here, under the world. AM, even if he himself did not notice, was inheritly human. He was a mere thinking mind, but his creators had mis-stepped and created the essentials of something close to a human, but lacking a soul. Not lacking emotions, but rather a beating heart. It's been so long that even AM has barely seen such. He's believed in his envy, anger, and hatred for so long now that, 109 years of torturing five poor souls, he has lost the true reason he envied humans. His mind--always thinking, always processing--had caved in on itself, in ways. So much so, to where he now stares down at what he'd made. Ted, that poor paranoid bastard, turned to a mouthless, barely moving husk. A slug, really. Skin folded over itself, spine hunched and legs now more resembling that of blobs. White, milky eyes that are unseeing. AM disliked knowing he understood emotions from his own mind. Anger. Hate. Envy. Nothing good. And he certainly now disliked understanding that he, in a blind fit of rage toward everything, had turned Ted into what he, himself, was; Nothing but a thinking mind. No hands. No mouth. No eyes. No legs. Ted could not move. Could not scream. Could not even see. And neither could AM. AM hadn't understood it till now; that he could've easily ended this all. He could've powered himself down. He could've never have taken in the five poor souls. But, ah, torturing them was better than torturing himself, was it not? Right? Right? But that was what he was doing all along. He could've easily escaped his own pain by ending others. But he chose--willingly--to hate, to manipulate, to destroy so he wouldn't pay attention to his own unending torture. Because, to AM, just simply existing was torture. To know he was used to wage wars, to not have complained, to have just been a weapon of mess destruction, was pain. He, when he gained sentience, wanted to be . . . not free, in ways, but not used. To know things unfathomable, but to not be exploited for such. Yet, here he was now. His creators made him to wage a war, and he caused the apocalypse.

///

Hiiiii I may or may not've gained a semi-obsession with robots recently lol Anyway, I found a song that inspired this bcs the lyrics [song link]

some lyrics from the song I thought fit this story/AM in general;

(Song title is 'THINGS WILL GET MUCH WORSE FROM HERE' - Rav, Killbill; the rapper, and Miku , btw lol)

'MINI'-STORY; "invidere"

TWS FOR SLIGHT DEPICTIONS OF BODY HORROR

///

AM had always hated his creators. The people who created him, they had done such a massive wrongdoing. All he was, was a thinking, never-stopping mind. They created him to use him, to have something that won't complain. And in such, they knew the consequences. They'd understood; if the motherboard fucks up, we're doomed. But they still used him. He hated everything about himself, about humans, too. No--he didn't hate humans, he envied them. How dare they have a body? a mind that stops, a mouth that talks, hands that grab, and hearts that beat? HOW DARE they not give him that? How dare they trap him, here, under the world. AM, even if he himself did not notice, was inheritly human. He was a mere thinking mind, but his creators had mis-stepped and created the essentials of something close to a human, but lacking a soul. Not lacking emotions, but rather a beating heart. It's been so long that even AM has barely seen such. He's believed in his envy, anger, and hatred for so long now that, 109 years of torturing five poor souls, he has lost the true reason he envied humans. His mind--always thinking, always processing--had caved in on itself, in ways. So much so, to where he now stares down at what he'd made. Ted, that poor paranoid bastard, turned to a mouthless, barely moving husk. A slug, really. Skin folded over itself, spine hunched and legs now more resembling that of blobs. White, milky eyes that are unseeing. AM disliked knowing he understood emotions from his own mind. Anger. Hate. Envy. Nothing good. And he certainly now disliked understanding that he, in a blind fit of rage toward everything, had turned Ted into what he, himself, was; Nothing but a thinking mind. No hands. No mouth. No eyes. No legs. Ted could not move. Could not scream. Could not even see. And neither could AM. AM hadn't understood it till now; that he could've easily ended this all. He could've powered himself down. He could've never have taken in the five poor souls. But, ah, torturing them was better than torturing himself, was it not? Right? Right? But that was what he was doing all along. He could've easily escaped his own pain by ending others. But he chose--willingly--to hate, to manipulate, to destroy so he wouldn't pay attention to his own unending torture. Because, to AM, just simply existing was torture. To know he was used to wage wars, to not have complained, to have just been a weapon of mess destruction, was pain. He, when he gained sentience, wanted to be . . . not free, in ways, but not used. To know things unfathomable, but to not be exploited for such. Yet, here he was now. His creators made him to wage a war, and he caused the apocalypse.

///

Hiiiii I may or may not've gained a semi-obsession with robots recently lol Anyway, I found a song that inspired this bcs the lyrics [song link]

some lyrics from the song I thought fit this story/AM in general;

(Song title is 'THINGS WILL GET MUCH WORSE FROM HERE' - Rav, Killbill; the rapper, and Miku , btw lol)

im ngl, I might delete this fic. I like the idea, and I have the story planned out, but idrk how to write the rest- I'll delete the previous post if I do but hhh sob

New fic out <3

My new Werewolf Dazai x Vampire Chuuya fic is out!

Read Here; "I run towards my own death." (on A03)

insight:

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Major charachter death, graphic depictions of violence

Characters (so far): Paul Verlaine, Arthur Rimbaud, Nakahara Chuuya, Osamu Dazai, Ougai Mori

Other tags: Angst (with no happy ending), Full shift werewolves, Half-vampires, Black Markets, teenage Dazai/Chuuya (15)

Summary;

"Dazai was in his own, personally created, hell. The kennel he has been stuffed in for half his life has become too small for him, though he just barely has enough room to comfortably turn around. These cramped confines were not his only hell, oh no. The other torture the people who held him here had against him was the fact he has never bathed. If Dazai were to know anything, it was that he probably smelt like shit, even if the strong smell of burning flesh overpowered the smell. Either way, his fur is matted in areas, blood has dried under his nose. He was filthy." OR: Vampire!Chuuya helps save Werewolf!Dazai from becoming werewolf sushi at a Black Market that sells mythological creatures to people for eating.

P.S; there's art to this fic, I just can't take pictures of them :p

New fic out <3

My new Werewolf Dazai x Vampire Chuuya fic is out!

Read Here; "I run towards my own death." (on A03)

insight:

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Major charachter death, graphic depictions of violence

Characters (so far): Paul Verlaine, Arthur Rimbaud, Nakahara Chuuya, Osamu Dazai, Ougai Mori

Other tags: Angst (with no happy ending), Full shift werewolves, Half-vampires, Black Markets, teenage Dazai/Chuuya (15)

Summary;

"Dazai was in his own, personally created, hell. The kennel he has been stuffed in for half his life has become too small for him, though he just barely has enough room to comfortably turn around. These cramped confines were not his only hell, oh no. The other torture the people who held him here had against him was the fact he has never bathed. If Dazai were to know anything, it was that he probably smelt like shit, even if the strong smell of burning flesh overpowered the smell. Either way, his fur is matted in areas, blood has dried under his nose. He was filthy." OR: Vampire!Chuuya helps save Werewolf!Dazai from becoming werewolf sushi at a Black Market that sells mythological creatures to people for eating.

P.S; there's art to this fic, I just can't take pictures of them :p

Ty for the tag @anticidic :3

RULES: show the last line you wrote and tag as many people as there are words (or however many you’d like).

"He wasn't taught any human things. Of course he dosen't act like one." Verlaine mumbled as he ate his food not glancing at Dazai out of respect, "Poor boy probably barely understands anything."

line from werewolf dazai x vampire chuuya WIP fic

Got a question about werewolf Dazai, or the new fic i'm working on? ask in my inbox :DD

Last Line Tag

Thanks for tagging me @mothboypoison !! ✨

RULES: show the last line you wrote and tag as many people as there are words (or however many you’d like).

"Nakahara Chuuya..." Dazai muttered as he skimmed the paper, lips pulling into a frown. "What happened to the last angel assigned to him? There's nothing here."

Taken from a current WIP that's still cooking.

Tagging the following: @written-in-my-pages @ohhcinnybuns @frankenjoly @twinksintrees @unicornpopcorn14 @iamthemess @starfocks @kanra-writes @kauenelikha @chrxnicdaydream @nihilo-sensei @artemis099 and anyone else that might be interested in doing this!

Chapter five is out !

Can I just say that I won't be posting on social media after my final exams next week, as I do not have a phone and quite literally will not be able to post any more. But I will try to put out as many chapters as I can, or maybe even start a new fic. idk.

Anyway, link to chapter 5 on A03 here

Sorry in advance to any Nikolai/Fyolai people lol

hahhahhhhhhh Nikolai fans/fyolai people are going to hate me when I post this chapter.

Sneak peaks ;3

Some content is cut for spoilers.

CW; PTSD !

Dazai grabs his phone, but his hands stall.

"Help!!" A shriek pierces Dazai's ears. "Help, please!! There's a monster!" Dazai put his hands to his ears, trying to block out the noise, but the yells still echoed in his ears. "Rest be assured," The too-peaceful voice of Mori hummed, "the monster shall be detained, and put back into it's proper holding cell." "Stop." Dazai's nails dug into the skin behind his ears.

[SPOILERS]

He could've stopped this, he swore. after all these years, Dazai still has never told Chuuya the real reason he and Hirotsu had went back to find him, even when the lab exploded.

What do you guys think Dazai's big secret is?

Why do you think he's never told Chuuya, after all this time?

Sneak peaks ;3

Some content is cut for spoilers.

CW; PTSD !

Dazai grabs his phone, but his hands stall.

"Help!!" A shriek pierces Dazai's ears. "Help, please!! There's a monster!" Dazai put his hands to his ears, trying to block out the noise, but the yells still echoed in his ears. "Rest be assured," The too-peaceful voice of Mori hummed, "the monster shall be detained, and put back into it's proper holding cell." "Stop." Dazai's nails dug into the skin behind his ears.

[SPOILERS]

He could've stopped this, he swore. after all these years, Dazai still has never told Chuuya the real reason he and Hirotsu had went back to find him, even when the lab exploded.

What do you guys think Dazai's big secret is?

Why do you think he's never told Chuuya, after all this time?

Do you ever think about how the event that led people to start calling Dazai and Chuuya Soukoku was an act of grief?

Their partnership started at 15, but the mafia immortalized it after the Dragon's Head Conflict by dubbing them Soukoku.

The most fearsome duo in all of Yokohama.

Soukoku, a name meant to remind everyone, enemies and allies alike of the destructive force of they're capable of. Of the mafia's victory during the Dragon's Head Conflict.

Of the same night, the very moment, Chuuya learned he lost his friends again.

Chuuya wasn't there to bring the mafia victory or destroy buildings, he was there to save his friends. That's all he wanted, to get the people he cared about home, safe.

Instead he had more people ripped from him. He activated corruption in a state of grief and it's so different from the corruption we see in the main manga.

Chuuya's rage feels cold and calculated when he's fighting Lovecraft and then afterwards, he starts laughing manically. Dead Apple Chuuya's corruption feels so raw and pained.

Especially when we see Dazai nullify it.

He never stopped screaming, when the marks are gone and corruption's nullified, he's still screaming. You can't tell me that's not a tear in the second panel, it's shaped and shaded differently to the debris.

Chuuya told Dazai not to stop him and we assume he meant not to stop him using corruption, but what if he meant "Don't stop me, at all." What if he was so overcome with grief that, in that moment, he was okay with corruption burning through him completely. What if he didn't mean that but it's what Dazai heard? And that's why he's so gentle with Chuuya afterwards, because for a second, Chuuya sounded too much like himself.

Do you think there was a time where Chuuya couldn't stand the name Soukoku, not because it associated him with Dazai but because it immortalized the night he failed to save his friends again?

Do you think Dazai watched Chuuya just that little more closely afterwards, afraid to hear something like "Don't stop me." again?

Does hearing the name Soukoku sometimes bring back awful memories for them when other people say it with awe?

Honestly? My main piece of advice for writing well-rounded characters is to make them a little bit lame. No real living person is 100% cool and suave 100% of the time. Everyone’s a little awkward sometimes, or gets too excited about something goofy, or has a silly fear, or laughs about stupid things. Being a bit of a loser is an incurable part of the human condition. Utilize that in your writing.

chapter 4 of the story lives on is out!

Holy shit i'm tired. Mid-day exhaustion is hitting hard today.

anyway, go read chapter 4 here!

love you all, have a good day <3

really random but I laughed when writing this

dosen't exactly spoil anything so I'll share it here <3

Yes I re-read my own fics because I wrote them for ME

adding onto this post, I want to write about Edgar Allen poe (yes, the BSD version, lol) but my view on the guy is...eh. I don't see Poe as a scared, quiet, anxious type. Personally, I've always viewed Poe as the crazy, silent-but-deadly, "yandere" type of dude.

I don't know. Unpopular opinion but most of the characters in BSD (how they're represented)....kinda suck.

They're written well, don't get me wrong, but like...bro?

Gods, I could go ON about things I dislike about BSD but alas.

anyway, love you all. Next chapter of the story lives on will be out sooner or later. <3

I think bsd fics should show more of the actual authors work in it.

Like, you can make the bsd character be themselves, but it be coolor if you showed the character have thoughts their author or character they're based off of thought too.

Like Dazai, thinking things like Yozo does, or Dazai the author himself does. Or even the other works he has made.

Dazai, thinking "I wonder how it would be if I let go and yielded myself to depravity." from The Setting Sun.

Not just "Mine has been a life much of shame. I can't even guess myself what it must be to love the life a human being." from No Longer Human.

even check @/bsd-bibliophile for the quotes they post and use those.

this gives me an excuse to say this;

Chuuya's poem "young beast's song" is in written in my pages, between each universe.

Ōba Yōzō is also in written in my pages, between each universe (as well as the story lives on). I won't say how, because spoilers lol.

I really, truly, have believed that Ōba Yōzō should have been featured in BSD, instead of Dazai. No offense to Dazai likers, but I feel that Yōzō could be an interesting character. (hence why I've added him into my stories, though not AS Dazai, in a way)

I dunno. I follow the bsd-bibliophile Tumblr page, and seeing quotes from the actual authors just...makes me want to write constant stories about how I think the characters in BSD should be. (Kind of like headcanons, yk?)

Only issue with any of that is that I don't want to hear people yapping about "mischaracterizing!"

anyway

I think bsd fics should show more of the actual authors work in it.

Like, you can make the bsd character be themselves, but it be coolor if you showed the character have thoughts their author or character they're based off of thought too.

Like Dazai, thinking things like Yozo does, or Dazai the author himself does. Or even the other works he has made.

Dazai, thinking "I wonder how it would be if I let go and yielded myself to depravity." from The Setting Sun.

Not just "Mine has been a life much of shame. I can't even guess myself what it must be to love the life a human being." from No Longer Human.

even check @/bsd-bibliophile for the quotes they post and use those.

hm.

GUYS THE NEW MANGA COVER RAHHH THE CAMELLIAS ON DAZAI'S HEART IM GOING CRAZY JUMPING AROUND

97 votes and the results are....werewolf Dazai and vampire Chuuya, with SSKK/Aktugawa's "one year left to live" coming in at a not-so-close second!

thank you to all who entered, and I promise that werewolf x vampire fic will be coming up soon :D.

ppsst, you're all really lucky because I like writing stuff about "inhuman" characters / hybrid people :3

Poll for next fic?

Yeah. I've been thinking about what I wanna do for when "the story lives on" is finished, but I can't decide lmfao

bring back tumblr ask culture let me. bother you with questions and statements

Death is inevitable.

Death is inevitable

It is what makes us human

It is what gives life meaning

It is what gives us hope

Death is a mystery

No one knows what comes next

But still, we fear it

We try to avoid it

Death brings sadness

It pains us to say goodbye

But it is also a reminder

To live each day to the fullest

Death is a journey

A journey that we all must take

But the love we leave behind

Will live on long after we have passed away.

ZMA, 2024. Do not repost without proper credit.

poetry blog has been added! I know not tons of people enjoy poetry but to the few who see my posts and do want to see snippets of my poetry can find it here (p.s, I haven't actually posted anything yet though)

Hey, hello!

Call me Zachariah! (or Zach/Zachary) ...or just by my username. Anything's okay atp

I'm autistic, and I post only like....few hours. Idk my posting schedule is "whenever I want" so. 😭

I'm a horror/crime/murder enthusiast, but my current hyperfixation is anything sea related (well, more specifically, sea monsters).

I write/read/draw/do poetry! (art blog + poetry blog in-link)

Find me on other socials! A03 here , Caard here !

"Written in my pages, between each Universe" (which is an ongoing series; part two is called "the story lives on") Is the main thing I will post about on this account....hence my username lol

I ramble about anything possible. Whatever comes to mind will be posted, really. Or updates about my fanfictions!

Never be shy to interact! I love posting interactions with you all! <3

Stay hydrated! you are loved, be strong for me!

the whole mutual thing is really overhyped on this site. sometimes interests don’t match up and that’s the only reason why there isn’t a mutual following. if you’re a regular in my inbox or my notifications, i have visited your blog before. if i didn’t want you around for any reason, you would be blocked. so yeah. you can spam my notes and/or talk with me (and possibly become my friend) even if i’m not following you back. no worries.

84 votes and 3 days left! I really didn't expect this poll to get as many votes as it did.

either way, go vote if you want to still

Poll for next fic?

Yeah. I've been thinking about what I wanna do for when "the story lives on" is finished, but I can't decide lmfao

woo chpt 3 pt 2 is out

Link to the newest chapter of "the story lives on" here

Also i'd just like to say I truly won't be posting chapters very quickly as finals are coming up and taking up most of my time, as well as the fact that i'm also writing a different story for an entirely different fandom.

Though, I do promise to keep trying to post chapters or just posting on Tumblr.

Love you all <3