Yakuly - Yakully

⍉ 𝒞𝓇𝒾𝓂𝑒 𝒫𝒶𝓈𝓈𝒾𝑜𝓃𝒶𝓁 ⍉

Squish...

❤️ Capítulo: Squish...

❤️ YuqixMaleReader

❤️ Palavras: 1.223

❤️ Avisos: Relacionamento abusivo, marido tóxico, briga, Xingamentos, menção de sexo, assassinato, facada sangue, morte.

❤️N/A: (1) Bom dia, boa tarde, boa noite! Como vão? Bom, eu não sei se alguém sentiu falta, mas quero me desculpar por não ter postado semana passada 😬, mas foi por um motivo nobre (era semana de prova final, e terça era o último dia que tinha pra estudar, para economia - que eu nem preciso dizer que sou péssima), mas tudo bem, deu certo e passei na matéria 🥳.

(2) Eu sei que é bem óbvio que todos os capítulos da história são de temas pesados, mas acredito que esse aqui em específico é o pior. Então se você passa por algum tipo de situação assim, e não se sente confortável, não leia (os capítulos são independentes), e por favor, peça ajuda a quem pode ajudar! E se não se sente confortável em uma maneira geral, não leia.

❤️ Boa leitura!

Nunca pude reclamar do meu marido, Wilbur. Quando nos conhecemos ele fez fogos de artifício se explodirem dentro de mim, e um jardim de flores brotar no meu coração. Ele era simplesmente o homem mais bem educado, respeitoso e amoroso que já vi.

Wilbur Akello me cortejou por meses, conheceu minha família, me fez conhecer o amor e sua face mais bonita... e então, sua face mais horrorosa.

Squish...

A primeira vez em que sentiu ciúmes, eu estava conversando com um colega de trabalho, e ri de uma de suas piadas. Aparentemente para Wilbur, eu estava me oferecendo para ele, e aquilo era inaceitável. Então ele me bateu. (Mais tarde naquela noite, Wilbur chorou arrependido, me abraçou e pediu mil desculpas, e eu, o perdoei, afinal, ele estava com ciúmes, pois se importa com nossa relação, se importava comigo, e isso era tudo o que eu precisava).

A segunda vez, foi quando ele jurou que pisquei para nosso novo vizinho, quando na verdade, tentei piscar um cisco pra fora do meu olho. E então ele fez um jantar com um pedido de desculpas, e eu, o perdoei.

No primeiro mês, perdi a conta de quantos presentes e jantares de desculpa recebi (na verdade, parei de contar no vigésimo quinto). Passei a gastar mais com maquiagem e a usar roupas que de alguma forma cobrissem mais pele. Mas ninguém pareceu notar, felizmente.

Squish...

Por duas semanas, estava tudo tão bom, que pensei que ele estivesse me traindo, e fui fazer uma surpresa em seu trabalho. Nesse dia, acabamos almoçando juntos em sua sala, sob persianas fechadas e janelas abertas para a luz solar, em um belo piquenique falso. E depois disso ele me comeu na sua mesa de trabalho, como se eu fosse sua sobremesa favorita.

Eu pensei mesmo que estava finalmente tudo muito bem. Parecia que tínhamos voltado ao início do nosso relacionamento, onde éramos nós dois em um eterno êxtase amoroso.

Então, um dia após minha surpresa, decidi que Wilbur merecia um jantar especial. Então fui ao mercado, comprei tudo o que era preciso e cronometrei o tempo exato do leiteiro chegar, para poder adicionar o leite fresco à receita.

Coloquei o frango no forno, e estava cortando os legumes quando Wilbur chegou. Ele estava sorrindo, com o rosto iluminando como o sol, extremamente lindo.

"Boa noite meu amor" no comprimento quando ele se escora no batente da porta, desviando o olhar da faca rapidamente, por isso não vi seu olhar diferente em minha direção.

"Está falando comigo?" Sua voz parecia calma, então apenas ri fraco do que acreditei ser brincadeira, e respondi: "sim, meu amor. Quem mais poderia ser?"

Dessa vez paro o que estou fazendo para poder ver sua figura se posicionando a minha frente no balcão. Quando o fiz, me arrependi instantaneamente.

Squish...

Wilbur me encarava com aqueles olhos que a tempos não via, com o olhar que me faz temer por cada segundo da minha vida. Um olhar que me garante que posso morrer a qualquer momento.

O arrepio que subiu por minha espinha já é muito íntimo, e eu fui tola por acreditar que nunca mais o sentiria.

"Não sei, você quem deve me dizer, vadia" Wilbur praticamente cospe as palavras nos vegetais que cortava. Ele estava começando a se exaltar, e se eu não fizesse algo para no mínimo desacelerar isso, não sei o que pode acontecer.

"Wilbur, por favor, você sabe que é o único homem que eu amo!" Sorrio pra passar a ideia de esposa intensamente apaixonada, e não a de esposa intensamente pavorosa. Não funcionou.

Squish...

"Sei? Acha que não sei o que estou fazendo?" Os primeiros botões de sua camisa se foram, e sua voz estava ficando ainda mais baixa, para os vizinhos não ouvirem. "Está mais carinhosa, fazendo visitas surpresas no trabalho, cozinhando meu prato favorito..."

Olho para ele tentando pensar rápido, tentando não morrer hoje. Então o deixo bravejar o quanto ser uma boa esposa, é na verdade ser uma esposa adúltera.

"Eu te vi com o leiteiro hoje. Acha que eu sou cego? Acha que pode foder com o leiteiro bem de baixo do meu nariz que não vou ver?!" Seu tom de voz aumentou, e pela primeira vez ele estava gritando.

Squish...

Me manter calada parece não ter o deixado mais tranquilo, então ele finalmente vem pra cima de mim, como nas últimas vezes.

Fecho meus olhos e escuto uma ligada de ar sair por sua boca, e quando o olho, seus olhos estão esbugalhados, e suas sobrancelhas juntas em confusão.

Olhamos pra onde nossos corpos se conectam, e vemos minha faca de legumes enfiada em seu abdômen e o sangue começando a pingar no chão.

Squish...

De repente o alívio de não morrer, e a adrenalina me deram uma confiança mortal.

"Eu não te traí..." digo sorrindo ao torcer a faca em seus órgãos internos "...e nunca traí".

Retiro a arma e a enfio novamente em sua barriga "não dormi com o leiteiro" retiro e enfio mais uma vez "não dormi com meu colega" retiro e a enfio de novo em outro lugar "nunca nem olhei pro nosso vizinho" o espeto mais uma vez, "o carteiro? Não", sorrio e mudo a direção da faca antes de a inserir em seu tórax "seu melhor amigo? A mulher dele me dava mais tesão que ele", sorri vendo o choque preencher sua cara já pálida, mas pouco me importei e continuei com a lista, sempre trocando as facadas de lugar, em seu corpo no chão, molhando não só o piso mas também a mim e minhas roupas com seu sangue imundo. "O vendedor de sapatos? o atendente de lanchonete? Jura?!"

Seguro o rosto de Wilbur com minha mão vazia, ensanguentado seu rosto com seu próprio sangue, e fazendo com que tenha alguma cor nele mais uma vez. Sorrio e faço questão de falar em seu ouvido, para que essa seja a última coisa que ele escute antes de morrer:

"Mas me arrependo de não ter fodido seu irmão na nossa cama quando ele propôs, mas não se preocupe, sei que ele vai dar conta do que você nunca conseguiu!"

E com um golpe final enfio a faca em seu peito acabando com tudo de uma vez.

Squish...

[Transcrição da Apreensão da Ré]

Nós já vamos começar...

Minha comida tava boa?!

Acho que isso não vem ao caso agora, senhorita.

Jura?! Por que eu acho que tenho todo o tempo do mundo, e me dediquei a aquele jantar... então....

Nós não comemos sua comida, mas como pode imaginar, seu frango parecia passado.

[A ré revira os olhos]

Senhorita, seu nome, por favor.

Song Yuqi.

Quantos anos?

22.

Por que a senhora foi presa?

Ou era ele, ou eu. Tive que fazer uma escolha.

Senhorita Song, essa não é a resposta correta. Deve nos contar por que está sendo presa.

Por que vocês jamais me ajudaram todos esses anos que precisei, quando ele me batia por nada, e aí ele cai na faca, e sou presa?!

A senhorita está dizendo que ele caiu na sua faca?

Sim, 10 vezes. Ele era meio burro

Qual a motivação da senhora?

Ele me espancou por anos a fio, e se eu não desse um fim agora, eu estaria morta!

Tá, vamos acabar logo com isso, como a senhora de declara?

Abusada. Ofendida. Agredida. Culpada inocentemente.

Now playing: I like me better by: Lauv

0:24 ━━●──────────── 1:36

⇆ㅤㅤㅤ◁ㅤㅤ❚❚ㅤㅤ▷ㅤㅤㅤ↻

ꨄ Bang Chan

↬ A calm boyfriend;

↬ Couple coffee aesthetic;

↬ Live from meetings in cafeterias;

↬ He Try not to act like your father, but sometimes the concerns speak louder;

↬ Loves to cook for you;

↬ Loves, and constantly writes songs about you and your relationship;

↬ Lives to call you by cute names like "babygirl" (secretly learns some in Portuguese, and surprises you when you use them);

↬ Buys a lot for you (even if you complain a little);

↬ Whenever you smile, you can't stand it and touch his dimples (which makes him smile even more);

↬ When you're distracted, he just fills you with kisses;

↬ But love even more when they cook together;

↬ His days off are the best;

↬ Why are these days that you only relax together (Probably at your home);

↬ You have the best hug, and every time you say that, you just need to kill the boy in shame;

↬ Sometimes all he wants to do is vegetate with you in bed (and of course you accept);

↬ Sometimes they talk in whispers before going to sleep;

↬ They may be talking about something banal in their daily lives, or they may begin to share their opinions about very serious things, but without leaving the climate heavy;

↬ And he loves how it makes his relationship more real;

↬ It is still somewhat closed about some things in relation to the group;

↬ But you know him too well and you know when something is wrong;

↬ And then "Super Girlfriend" goes into action;

↬ You pamper him non-stop, and assure him that you love and support him regardless of everything;

↬ And then he realizes what he is doing, and ends up opening up to you;

↬ Who listens to you with all the attention of the world, and can even give advice, or else just makes you laugh;

↬ And he is very grateful for that;

↬ They've already told their families about the relationship, but they still haven't managed to get to know each other because they are planning a big barbecue with everyone;

↬ He hasn't told the fans yet, but everyone is suspicious because we can see well, Christopher Bang is a very passionate man and does not know how to disguise.

ꨄ Lee Know

↬ It is very energetic;

↬ Loves to make you tickle, because he loves your laugh even more;

↬ But sometimes he calms down;

↬Horrible cheesy pickup lines all day;

↬ It's always glued to you;

↬ Doesn't care about showing affection in public - he even likes it;

↬ Fell in love even more, when he saw that you got along very well with your kittens;

↬ You guys adopted a kitten who stays in your apartment. And her name is Lee Seunome + Know;

↬ Try to cook, but you end up taking control of it all;

↬ Kisses you all the time, no matter who is around, or if you gonna' get shy (he may do it mainly because of that);

↬ Dates outdoors. Han River, parks, beach, or anywhere you can sit, watch the sunset, and drink soju together;

↬ Make out sessions after rehearsals, while the TV is on with anything;

↬ Skincare days are a must, where he 'forces' you to talk about everything;

↬ Loves to dance, and loves to dance even more with you;

↬ He looks a little silly ... and it really is;

↬ Talk a lot to the boys about you (and sometimes ask for some advice);

↬ He haven't introduced you to the family, nor to the fans, but you know it's inevitable.

ꨄ Seo Changbin

↬ He looks serious, but in fact it is truly Soft;

↬ Makes aegyo 24/7;

↬ He's a fool for you (which is not far behind);

↬ Always taking you to the studio;

↬ You are always the first to listen to his music and raps, and he prioritizes your opinion a lot;

↬ Sometimes he doesn't know how to explain what he feels, so he asks the boys for advice, or else he ends up writing some music about it;

↬ drags you to the mall, and makes you buy a lot of things;

↬ He doesn't like to see you sad, so he makes a fool of himself to make you smile;

↬ When you both are tired, all you guys do, is lie down together, cuddling into each other;

↬ You guys sleep in a shell, he being the biggest part;

↬ You have already told your family about it, and everyone is eager to meet you;

↬Your closest cousin already met him by accident, when you were talking by video call and he thought he was watching some video on YouTube, he spoke to you in his sweet tone

"Baby, am I going to order our favorite food, okay?"

"Is this your boyfriend ?? !! You are so cute!"

↬ He has already told his father about the relationship, but he is afraid of his mother's reaction;

↬ But you know that at one time or another, you will get to know each other.

ꨄ Hwang Hyunjin

↬ One of the most loving people in the world;

↬ Can’t see you standing, expect hugs from him;

↬ Sometimes he makes some lame excuses so he's able to hug you;

↬ It's not just about hugging, but also any kind of physical contact;

↬ He forces you to take photos.

↬ Sometimes you do a conceptual photo shoot, sometimes they are "normal" photos and the most common are those in which you are distracted;

↬ But don't get him wrong, he's a caring fluffy love caring ball in the morning and is all pouting when you are the one who insists on taking pictures of it.

↬ Movie sections are a must for both of you;

↬ You usually sleep in the second movie, but he doesn't care because he's able hold you all night;

↬ Loves to play with your hair, and loves when you play with his ;.

↬ Can’t see you lying down. He will jump on on top of you;

↬ Your compliments make you ashamed, but proud of himself;

↬ Buy you little things and always give you a glass of your favorite drink, one of your favorite flowers and a note.

↬ drags you to dance rehearsals, and lives to teach you all the possible choreographies;

↬ Loves how well you and the boys get along, especially when she sees you taking care of the makne;

↬ He often asks for your opinion on his rap, on the choreographies and mainly on concept photos;

↬ Try to make you jealous, and on the rare occasions when they manage to hug you, ensuring that you are the only one for him.

↬ Lives on "family" meetings with you and your dogs;

↬ Always trying to take you to meet his family, but you are really resistant to the idea;

↬ Say I love you all the time;

↬ Sends you random and cute messages, and always accompanied by the famous "I love you".

↬ He wants thay both families to get to know each other;

↬ He plans a meal with dishes both Korean and from your country;

↬ Slightly terrified of the idea of ​​meeting your father.

ꨄ Han Jisung

↬ Your best friend, before being your boyfriend;

↬ You are his priority;

↬ He is naturally funny, but he's also funny on purpose to hear your laugh;

↬Created a language of yours;

↬ Both of you live to irritate his hyungs (mainly Lee Know);

↬ Buy rings similar to his, to give you;

↬ Always send you music suggestions, and love it when you do the same;

↬ They have a playlist and listen together whenever they can;

↬ Hand in hand all the time;

↬ Likes it when you try to sing your raps, even if you're not very good;

↬ The boys find it funny how well you get along, and have the same vibe;

↬ A couple not much for dating, but to stay at home ordering food and watching movies;

↬ Hates to see you cry, so when it happens, he does everything to make you laugh, and then comfort you and asks you to speak what happened. But if you are not comfortable, he will wait patiently until that happens;

↬ Ask you at all times if you would like to announce the relationship;

↬ You don't know, but he already plans how he will advertise, he just waits for the day when you agree.

ꨄ Lee Felix

↬ He is a ray of sunshine;

↬ The type to like a classical romance;

↬ The type who writes tickets;

↬ At first he was nervous to have you by his side, but in time he ended up overcoming it;

↬ He often speaks French just to see his reaction, which he always finds adorable;

↬ Try to learn another language together;

↬ You are each other's support;

↬ Make brownies for all dear friends together;

↬Even the staffs love to see the two together;

↬Have already told the whole family about you and wasted no time introducing you, even if by video call;

↬He has also met his whole family, and your grandmother loves him too much.

ꨄ Kim Seungmin

↬ At first it was very quiet and silent, but you understood that it was his way;

↬ He was even more captivated by your patience;

↬ But after you started to open up more, you even found it funny how his way became funnier;

↬ He is your calm in troubled days;

↬And you don't know, but whenever he gets stressed about something, he looks at a picture of you and it gets better;

↬ He always sends you his favorite coffee, it's one of his ways of saying that he loves you;

↬He is so mature that it scares you sometimes;

↬ Likes it when you pamper him, but away from your hyungs;

↬ Tries to help you study in a fun and funny way;

↬Whenever you are togethe, you guys look like two children (BangChan keeps looking at you with those proud little eyes of a leader);

↬Knows You know you better than yourself. You know when to just listen to you, or do something stupid to make you laugh;

↬Only both mothers and boys know about the relationship and support the couple.

ꨄ Yang Jeogin

↬Because he is the youngest in the group, he tend to want to appear more mature to you;

↬Both like to study together, so they optimize study time, and still manage to spend time together;

↬Both of you like to go to the dog cafes, and spend their days there;

↬He Hates when the boys do it as a baby in front of you;

↬ Loves it when you also piss off the boys, especially Hyunjin;

↬He is slightly jealous of you with Han for believing that both personalities are alike, but at the end of the day, he trust on you both;

↬When you ask him to sing for you, he first sings a prank just to hear you laugh, but then he starts singing seriously;

↬ At first, he was shy, and was uncomfortable with touches and affection, but today he loves it when you hold your hand (and he's always hugging you from behind);

↬He met his younger sister, and she did all his advertising for the family.

↬He armed for you to "accidentally" meet his mother

[Masterlist] • [Stray Kids Masterlist]

🍵🌿🖇..⃗. buy me a coffee?

This is sooooo goood! I think I'm in love

Lay Zhang: “A pretty thing like you shouldn’t have a beautiful night go to waste.” // “Just one night.”

You’re walking briskly down a long, elegant hallway, your heels muffled against the clean, dark carpet beneath you. You angrily pull out your phone while turning towards the elevator area from which you had come up.

“We’re breaking up, jerk.”

You hit send, and put your phone away.

Once you approach the elevators, you start hitting against them repeatedly. Open up fast, you stupid little shit! You can feel the first couple tears run down your cheeks, but you try to ignore them.

After a couple minutes, the doors finally open. You’re covering your eyes, and walk inside, pressing the button for the lobby.

“Excuse me,” a voice echoes through the elevator. “Are you okay?”

You weren’t expecting anyone inside, so you were startled to realize that there was actually a person with you. I must’ve missed his presence, you think.

You smile regardless. “Yes, I believe I’m okay,” you say. The elevator doors close. Suddenly, not a couple seconds go by before the doors open again, and your (now ex) boyfriend is standing there wearing only his bathrobe. His arms extend on the sides of the elevator, preventing the doors from closing.

“I’m so sorry, it’s not what it seems! She’s a co-worker, we were working and I just… we started drinking, you know?” Your ex-boyfriend pleads for you, but you’re crying harder now.

“I DON’T WANT TO HEAR IT!!” You shout, slamming on the buttons to close now. “Get out and let me go! Or I’ll call security!” You quickly dial 911, and show him your phone, extending your hand out towards him. He obeys, and steps back, shouting back at you to ‘please understand,’ until the doors finally close.

You try to control your sobs, and remember that there’s still that guy who was in the elevator with you! How embarrassing, you think. You turn towards him and start apologizing immediately.

“I’m so sorry, I-I wanted to come home to my boyfriend early so I called off work today, but I caught him w-with another wo-woman,—” you break down into terrible sobs, covering your face in complete embarrassment and disappointment.

Suddenly, the guy in the elevator hugs you calmly, and the elevator doors open again. “Let’s step out for a second, okay?” He whispers, and you step off awkwardly whilst another couple walks into the elevator behind you.

You’re now in the elevator waiting area, on the floor number who-knows-what, and you take a seat with the anonymous boy. “Do you feel like talking about it?” He wipes several tears off you, completely welcoming his aura into yours.

“I’m so sorry, this is so embarrassing.” You say, giving him your best smile despite your mess of makeup.

“You’re okay. Hey, life happens. You don’t deserve someone who doesn’t put you first, regardless of their status or title.”

You looked up through a mess of tears and smiled.

“Thank you,” you whisper. He gives you his best dimples. You can’t help but think about how stupid it was to come up to your boyfriend’s place, dressed to the nines, hoping you’d be in for a great night of surprises.

But now you’re sitting with a stranger, crying to him about your newly found issues, and feel worse because you’re probably holding this boy back from wherever he was originally headed to.

Nevertheless, you decide to apologize and prepare to head out again. “I guess I should’ve seen it coming,” you confide in him. “Ever since his business blew up over the summer, it’s as if I’ve been dating a completely different person. He’s cockier now, even moved into this luxury apartment, and now I’m being cheated on.” You sighed and looked around this new hallway of the luxurious apartment complex, wishing the people within it were also a charm that could be just as appreciated inside and out.

“You call his apartment a luxury?” The guy smirked, looking around.

“Oh, well I think it is. It’s one of the best in the country. I assume you also live here, no?”

He laughs softly. “I suppose I do? But now I hate that I have an asshole neighbor, it seems.”

You both share a laugh, and he extends his hand out to you.

“My name is Lay Zhang, a pleasure to meet you,” he smiles.

You shake his hand with both your hands, and introduce yourself.

“I’m sorry we have to meet this way,” you laugh. “But, I do appreciate you taking the time to comfort me. I’m in for a long night,” you pout, and feel your phone vibrating relentlessly in your pocket.

You pull it out and you both look down, only to see that you now have 26 missed calls. You unlock the phone and go to his messages, finding countless text messages waiting for you as well.

“Do me a favor before you go,” says Lay, reaching his hand towards your phone. He takes it in his hand and blocks your ex boyfriend altogether, then returns it to you. “Don’t undo that.”

You look up in shock, not knowing what to say. “What if he reaches out on my socials—”

“You’re gonna repeat what I just did anywhere that he does, okay?”

You nod, and decide to put your phone back in your pocket.

“I apologize for keeping you from any plans you intended right now, Lay,” you start standing up from your seat and wipe your coat off.

“No, no. I was actually returning from work, anyway. I was going up the elevator, remember?”

“Ah, I see. I apologize for stealing time out of your evening, then.”

He cocks his head to the side. “You’re okay. I didn’t have much going on tonight, anyway. But…”

You look up, your gaze meeting his. “But?”

He shrugs. “I have to say, before you head out. You look beautiful tonight. Even with your crying, your ex missed out on so much.” He gives you his dimples again, and this time you can’t help but blush.

“Thank you, I hope to let him know that when he decides to crawl back,” you smirk.

“You don’t live here though, do you? I mean, with him?” He asks.

You sigh, remembering that you do live together.

“I’ll find a hotel room to stay at tonight, and come pick up my things from his place tomorrow with a couple friends. I guess I’ll head home to rest,” you look down, slightly upset that you spent a good dollar for the beautiful royal-purple dress you had on for him. You meant for the night to be a special one, considering it was, in fact, his birthday.

Lay lifts your chin with his finger, fixing your eyes onto his. “Well. A pretty thing like you shouldn’t have a beautiful night go to waste, then. What if I invited you to my place upstairs for dinner instead?”

Your eyes widened. “No, no, I don’t mean to bother you tonight. That would be a hassle for you—”

“Trust me when I say, my place will make him jealous.” He smirks, removing his finger from your face.

You blush, contemplating carefully on the offer. “A few pictures would make him mad,” you insist. “…of me eating at a beautiful apartment with a handsome guy like you.”

You both make way for the elevator, and you turn towards the buttons. “What floor are you?”

He laughs and takes a card, swiping it over a small scanner over the buttons. The elevator beeps, and you watch as the floors rise slowly, then quickly, one by one each floor is ascending more and more.

Then, the elevator stops.

You’re at the top floor, and the doors open only to find yourself within a massive, gorgeous penthouse.

“Wh-what is this? Do you live here?” You awe in amazement at the expensive decor and architecture surrounding you.

“I’m a man of many hats,” he says, placing his coat on a nearby hanger. “May I?” He reaches over to remove your own coat, and places it under his.

“This place is… is… it’s beautiful!”

“I’m glad you think that,” he walks over to remove his shoes, and invites you to do the same. You do so as well, and he allows you to wear his house slippers for comfort.

“I’ll have something nice catered for us tonight from one of my favorite restaurants around the area, and while we wait for it to get here, we can go around taking all the pictures you want to get back at your ex,” he says. You agree willfully, and watch in excitement as he places a call for your dinner.

Moments later, you find yourself posing at different places of his apartment and balcony, making sure to have grabbed your heels and only worn them over and over for the pictures themselves. He would laugh every time, making sure to take the best angles of you in your gorgeous well-fitted dress.

A few times, you’d even catch him staring too long at either you or the pictures he’d taken of you.

“What if,” you start suggesting, “you appeared in some of my pictures, too?”

“Oh, no, I don’t think I can do that.” He says this sternly, and starts to return your phone.

“That’s okay,” you sound defeated.

“It’s not that I don’t want to, it’s more of a… if we did, you can’t show them. To anyone. Or anywhere.”

“Why’s that?” Your question is then interrupted by room service, and you figure your dinner is here.

You are having wonderful conversation over the delicious food Lay’s ordered, when he offers to pour more wine for you. You agree, and soon you both start becoming a little too tipsy.

“Tell me,” you say over your glass. “Why’d you freak out earlier over taking a picture?”

He frowned, taking a sip of his own wine. “Nah, it’s not that I freaked out. But I’d probably get in trouble.”

You take another sip. “What are you, some cartel guy?”

He lets out a loud laugh, but shakes his head. “Nah, nothing like that.”

“You’re a fashion designer,” you say. “You mentioned earlier that you wear ‘many hats,’ right?”

“That’s a metaphor to say I am a lot of things.”

“Ooh, fancy boy,” you say, taking a last sip before you decide you’ve had enough wine. “What do you do?”

“Singer,” he smiles. “I dance and act, too. Producer, songwriter. Businessman. And other things.”

Your eyes widened. “Hold up, what the hell!? WHO am I in the presence of!?” You suddenly feel yourself sobering up.

Lay laughs. “Lay Zhang, sweetheart.”

You marvel at the way his own name leaves his mouth, almost as if he knows the power it holds in itself once revealed.

“My ex could never!” You look at him for a second, then deciding, “What if you’re in my pictures, but not your face?”

He contemplates this question, looking up at the ceiling before shrugging in agreement. “We could try that,” he says.

The two of you lazily start taking pictures of your hands holding, your head leaning against his shoulder, and him hugging you from behind. Then, he takes your phone, and snaps a picture of himself kissing your cheek.

“Crop that as much as you can,” he whispers, and you can feel the scent of wine hit your nose. His eyes are begging for something, completely entrancing you with his stare, but you don’t know how to read them. He’s a gentleman, but there’s something else. A hunger of some sort, deep within his gaze. You look alway, completely intimidated and unable to keep up with him.

“Okay,” you agree, but you’re no longer interested in pictures. Before you can say anything more, a yawn escapes your mouth.

“Someone’s tired,” Lay whispers.

“I’ll call an Uber,” you begin. “Thank you for letting—”

“Nah, you’re not calling no Uber. Stay with me,” he whines. “Just one night.”

You sleepily look up at him and agree.

“I’ll give you some of my clothes.”

Moments later, you’re in Lay’s bathroom, wearing one of his shirts and boxers. What am I doing?

“Do you have a guest room?” You call out, looking around for him. But he’s nowhere in sight. You decide to wander around the penthouse for a bit, until you finally find him in in the living room, sitting next to one of the large floor-to-ceiling window panes. You approach him, sitting quietly next to him.

“Lay?” You whisper, and he turns to you.

“Hey,” he answers steadily.

“Do you have a guest room?” You ask, but barely catch sight of him in the dark.

“Yeah,” he answers. “But won’t you feel lonely?”

You shake your head. “Lay, it’s one night. I’ll be fine.”

He shakes his head, and turns his attention back to the city before you both.

“Do you…” you start again, carefully choosing your words. “Do you ever feel lonely up here?”

There is a long moment of silence before he finally speaks up again.

“Sometimes I do,” he whispers. “No point in having a place as great as this if I’m spending it alone.”

Silence fills the air, the distant sounds of the night life outside humming in the background.

“However,” he looks towards your silhouette in the dark. “Having you here for an evening has helped with that, even if I only just met you. You’ve been a breath of fresh air.”

You smile, though he probably can’t see in the dark. “You’ve been just as helpful to me, too.” You stand up, and stretch your arms at him. “Let’s go to sleep.”

He takes your hands, and you heave him up. “You’ll sleep with me!?” He says out in the dark excitedly.

“No, that’s not what I—”

“Oh, oh I’m sorry,” he takes back his hands from yours and rubs the back of his neck. “You, uh, have a goodnight. The guest room is here, down the hallway and to the left. Let me know when you’re awake in the morning.”

He begins to slowly walk back up the stairs, and you feel a tinge of regret.

“Yixing,” you call out. He stops before going up the stairs, and turns his attention to you.

“How do you know my name?”

“I looked it up, Yixing,” you roll your eyes, but he can’t see that. “You’re Lay Zhang, after all. You’re all over the internet.”

He giggles. “I like that, call me that more.”

As he turns to leave, you hear yourself call back, “Stay with me!”

This shocks you both, and you place a hand over your mouth.

“Are you being serious?” He asks, approaching you slowly now. His silhouette is now directly in front of you in the dark, and you can barely make out his calming eyes under the moonlight. “I’m sorry I requested it earlier, but I don’t want to force you to feel like you have to—”

Immediately, the urge and action overcomes you, and you wrap your arms around his neck, embracing him in a soft, long kiss.

What am I doing!?

Lay doesn’t flinch, doesn’t retrieve himself, doesn’t question it. He just slowly places his hands on your waist, bringing you closer to him.

After the tender moment, you pull back, and whisper to him, “I enjoy you, Yixing.”

He smiles, pulling you in for another kiss, whispering “I enjoy you, too,” in between breaths.

Say you’ll stay with me, Lay thinks to himself, so that I won’t spend anymore lonely nights up here.

Let me stay with you, you think to yourself, so that you and I can keep each other’s company.

And in that moment, he excitedly invites you upstairs to his room to finish your intimacy under his soft, warm mess of pillows, covers, and comforters.

The penthouse tonight is now not so empty, after all.

✎ Monsta X : They're going to the army

A/n: Hello, people that are marriage to military man! Yeah, our boy Shiwnu it's going to serve, and I ended up writing something (that I don't know how to describe this, but it's something!) I hope you guys like it, and that he returns fast!

。=͟͟͞͞💗 ೃ ✦ ✧ ∗ ❥

𖥸 Son Shownu

Seeing him there packing his bags, while the house it was smelling one of his topical dishes, reminded me of when we were getting ready for his tours. But now it was different. It was his longest tour and somewhow dangerous.

"Promise me something?" His voice is low, so I lean closer to hear him better. I take my place on the bed beside your suitcase. Nu finished closing it, and sighs. “Eat well, okay?

—Oppa…—I start to speak, but I'm interrupted by him, who holds my hands and looks at me seriously.

"I always have to stay reminding you, to eat well... so please take care so I can get enlisted, being at peace with myself?"

“Nu, you know I do everything for you. I start talking, pulling out my cell phone and opening a certain app and showing it the screen of the device — even if it means filling my cell phone with reminders to eat.

I won't deny that in addition to missing you, I'll miss your hot food every night.

𖥸 Shin Hoseok

I leave the bathroom, accompanied by smoke from the hot shower I just took, and find my boyfriend Hoseok sitting on the edge of the bed staring at his bags almost ready for his military service. He was lost in thought and with a not very good face, so I approached him asking quietly:

— what's wrong?

“Nothing was just thinking about military service and you…” he says, and notices my confusion, so he continues, “I was wondering if it wouldn't be better for you if… We broke up."

—No! Why?

“Because it's going to be two years, and in that time you're going to be stuck with me, and…

—Ya Shin Hoseok! I love you, there's no strings attached to it! I love you from the beginning, I continued to love you during the tours and I will continue to love you for these two years. There's nothing to worry about!

- I love you too! —the brunette assures me holding my face — I was just worried about his happiness.

- You are my happiness. I take his hand — and besides, I think the tours were a lot worse.

—You think so?

-Yes, sometimes you were on the other side of the world, and we only spoke on the phone, now you'll be here close to me, I'll be able to visit you until your superior forbid me to go!

- Yes, you are right. — the brunette says, and I completely agree with him smiling. But I'm taken aback when I feel the mattress on my back, and a face-to-face Hoseok with me. "Well, since we've come to an excellent conclusion, I think I need to assure you somehow that I won't leave you anytime soon..." he says biting my lower lip before a hot kiss.

𖥸 Yoo Kihyun

The garden was once more beautiful. Greener, more fragrant, brighter…but it wasn't anymore. Knowing that I wouldn't have any more last-minute picnics with him here, that I wouldn't find him lying on the floor thinking about the others boys and that I wouldn't be dancing barefoot with him there for a long time while I listened to his voice singing just for me.

"It's going to pass quickly, you know, right?" Kihyun comes up behind me, hugging me around the waist. I smile weakly.

— It's gonna be two years Kihyunie... — I comment softly. My boyfriend stands in front of me, smiling. He was the cutest bald thing in the world.

"Two years go by faster than you think. Take care Please. No matter how long it takes, I will always love you, and I need you well and healthy."

“Okay, I'll count the days to see you.

And I would. Because he was worth it.

𖥸 Lee Minhyuk

We were in the kitchen having dinner. I made he's favorite dish, and we were going to see your favorite movie. I can't deny that even though I was making myself strong, I was extremely worried.

“Hey, Jagiya!" Minhyuk reaches out her hand and finds mine on the table —you got that little face…” He touches my nose lightly, and I let out a laugh dropping the chopsticks I was using to eat on the table.

“Sorry, it's just…you're going away, and hey, it's the army. There are guns there, Min. — I explain, and an idea pops into my head—OMO! MINHYUK HAS GUNS THERE! YOU ARE NOT GOING! - I get elated seeing him get up from his place laughing at me. My adorable boyfriend crouches in front of me and cups my face.

'Don't worry about it, jagy. I will be protecting the country!

"Yes, but who will protect you?" I throw the question. “Min if anything happens, I swear I'll go out there and kill them myself!

"I know, my little freak." — my boyfriend ruffles my hair laughing — let's do it like this, I'll take care of myself, and you take care of yourself here, okay?

I agree. Minhyuk was my big love, I would do anything to have it well, even if at a distance.

𖥸 Chae Hyungwoon

When I asked Hyungwoon what he wanted to do with his farewell, I couldn't have had a better idea. We were both lying in bed, just together. He had hugged me tight, holding me against his body, and one of his hands was playing with my hair.

- I will miss you. — it is he who breaks the silence. I bury my face in his chest inhaling even more of his scent.

"I'll think about you every day."

— Just please, don't get stuck with the days, and hours... That way, everything will pass even faster, and when you see, we'll be stuck together like that again. When you feel sad, remember our memories, okay?

— Don't get hurt okay? I lift my face staring into his beautiful face. —Don't put yourself at risk, and come back to me!

We intertwine our pinkies in a silent promise.

𖥸 Lee Jooheon

I was lying with my now fiance Lee Jooheon watching the stars, the wine now forgotten. All I could think about was how much I love the man who now have it's arms around me, and how I'm going to need to get used to his absence and the weight of that ring on my finger.

—Why do I have to go...—honey asks and from the tone of his voice, I know he's pouting. I lean on my elbow and face him more closely.

“I thought it was a great honor for Korean men to serve and protect their country! - I joke making my best serious and serious voice, pulling a smile from the boy.

“It is, but now I have you. The country should understand this! — Jooheon says and I end up laughing, he holds my waist tight. — It took me so long to find you, I didn't want to leave you, and for two years!

— Hey calm down, we've been away before, remember, just think it's another tour!

— a long, boring tour...without you, without the boys, without my monbebes...but it's okay, it's okay, someone needs to save the country! — as he spoke I played with his soon-to-be-cut hair and admired his beautiful face

"Does that mean you're going to fight bravely?"

"No, that means if someone really scary shows up I'll play dead!" Jooheon says, closing his eyes and making a strange face, making me laugh, “the aim is to come back to you alive.

—Wow! I will not object to this...

𖥸 Im Changkyun

The house it was a mess. The boys laughed, drank and played nonstop. I watched them sitting in the corner with my soju bottle, silently admiring Chang.

- You look beautiful. - he tells me, kissing my hand. I smile at that.

- You're more ... — We're speaking low so we wouldn't be interrupted. Right away I get a message on KakaoTalk. It was his. - Chang, what...

- You will receive a song every day, until I come back.

- You do not exist! - I feel my eyes fill with emotional tears.

- Forever with you, my love!

And then he kisses me, and we hear the boys screaming in the background. I always knew we would be the two of us forever.

[Masterlist] • [Monsta x Masterlist]

🍵🌿🖇..⃗. buy me a coffee?

— [♡]; Nakamoto Yuta

⿴ ≡ ¡Gif isn't mine! / ¡O Gif não é meu! ⸾ ⸽ Nakamoto Yuta (Nonɪᴅᴏʟ! Yuta x Nonɪᴅᴏʟ!ꜰᴇᴍᴀʟᴇ ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ) Palavras: 447 palavras Avisos: Menção de comida, (sentimento muito muito leve de angústia), leve menção de sexo.  ≡ ⿴

Ele é o amor da minha vida. Definitivamente, e sem volta. O mais engraçado é que quando percebi isso, a pequena eu dentro da minha cabeça, agarrou o refrigerante dela com o canudo e disse sarcasticamente “Uh Oh! Já somos assim? ”. Mas não consegui responder, estava muito ocupado verificando como estava meu apartamento naquele momento.

Minha sala de estar tinha muitos travesseiros, algumas almofadas estavam na mesa de centro, e eu pude ver que meu filme favorito de ‘dia horrível’ estava esperando para ser exibido. Fiquei tão chocado que mal vi quando ele veio do corredor com seu sorriso perfeito dizendo com sua voz doce "Finalmente meu bebê está em casa! Vá correndo para seu banho especial de espumas enquanto ela ainda está quente. Acabei de terminar! ” E mais uma vez, eu estava tão absorta por seu cheiro, seus braços fortes me segurando perto de seu corpo perfeito de ‘casa’, que eu pude encontrar minha típica provocação para me compensar com uma resposta.

Então eu perguntei a ele, como ele sabia, e mais uma vez ele abriu o sorriso e disse: “Você esqueceu que sou seu supernamorado? Meu bom sentido me disse esta manhã que algo estava errado. Então eu sabia que tinha que vir e salvar o seu dia!” E descobriu-se que ele estava certo. Que foi um dia horrivelmente terrível e extraordinário.

Naquela noite, enquanto assistíamos ao Dr. Frank-N-Furter cantando sobre sua máquina de sexo loiro, eu tinha seu corpo como meu travesseiro perfeito, enquanto seu coração batia em meus ouvidos, sua deliciosa comida quente recém cozida estava na minha barriga, ele foi a única coisa que consegui pensar. Como ele soube sem ouvir uma palavra vindo de mim, como ele interpretou o filme mais gay e está assistindo e curtindo cada momento dele. E de repente eu não estava mais com medo do amor. Eu senti que poderia conseguir o que quisesse, desde que ele estivesse comigo.

“Você é o amor da minha vida” sussurrei para ele, quando ele estava dormindo na cama comigo. Essa foi a primeira vez que eu disse isso, embora ele tivesse dito por muito tempo. Eu fui uma covarde, mas ele respeitou isso, ele esperou por mim, pelo meu tempo. E quando tive certeza que ele estava apenas fingindo estar dormindo, sussurrei em seus ouvidos 'Eu te amo'. Seu sorriso nunca foi tão grande, e provavelmente nunca tive uma noite tão boa como aquela. E eu sabia que nunca amaria mais do jeito que amo Nakamoto Yuta, e estava tudo bem. Mesmo que ele quebrasse meu coração mais tarde, porque ele me mostrou o que o amor deveria ser, e me ensinou que eu nunca deveria aceitar menos que isso.

Suddenly I want to audition 😬

𝐏𝐈𝐂𝐊 𝐀 𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐃

𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒂𝒔 𝒂 𝒎𝒖𝒔𝒊𝒄𝒂𝒍 𝒄𝒆𝒍𝒆𝒃𝒓𝒊𝒕𝒚

the piles go from left to right. therefore, pile one is the new jeans CD, pile two is NCT, and so on and so forth.

take your time to use your intuition to choose the pile that will best resonate with you. lastly, please don’t be afraid to say if the message resonated or not. it helps me in determining if my interpretations are correct or not, and i appreciate any sort of feedback - even if it’s “bad”.

good luck to you, reader 💿

𝐃𝚰𝐒𝐂𝐋𝐀𝚰𝐌𝐄𝐑𝐒:

this PAC includes mentions of specific celebrities! this is in an attempt to describe the energy of each pile.

in one pile's moodboard example, i use a tweet from stan twitter to visualize how one's fandom might be. i don't necessarily agree with the example tweet, but it was a good example of the pile's energy, so i used it. it doesn't imply or show my true feelings about that fandom or artist.

additionally, sections of this PAC make reference to adult topics such as sex, drugs, alcohol, addiction, and more. please use your discretion when reading your or each pile.

𝐈

Your Playlist:

Cards: 

Queen of Swords, The Fool, Four of Wands, Two of Coins

King of Wands (Rx), Ten of Cups, Eight of Cups (Rx), The Devil, Four of Coins, Nine of Coins

Page of Coins, The Emperor

Knight of Swords (Rx), Ten of Swords, King of Swords, Page of Cups

The Star

Reading:

those who chose this pile would be soloists. 

the music you make would be hard-hitting and active! tons of choreography would be involved, and you'd make people want to learn your dances even if they weren't professional dancers! a significant amount of your songs might even go viral on platforms like tiktok. your music would be a fresh breath into the music industry; you would probably write your own songs and not be afraid to venture into a variety of music genres. you might do surprise releases (like beyoncé did with her self-titled album)! you'd gain tons of success with your works, so much so that you'd end up throwing celebration parties often due to it! you might find it hard to keep up with so much work (you're probably booked and busy with interviews, concerts, promotions, etc.), but you also love the lifestyle, and that energy shows through the music you make. 

in your musical career, you may come off as some sort of diva who knows how to talk their way to success. you come off as someone who has a great personal and professional life. you would have the type of career and life others' dream of having. you may stay in a healthy relationship. again, most of your songs would be upbeat and about happiness - which may be a breath of fresh air in relation to more emotional, heavy music. as you continue throughout your career, you may lean towards that emotional music because of depression or life struggles. you may be worried about the future of your career after your "prime". this might be after a period of time of years of hard work and seemingly little rest; you might fall into addictions to materialism, drugs, or alcohol. you will be protected though! people will be looking out for you and steer you back onto the right path which will keep you from going downhill. 

your fans would look up to you a lot. it's giving "these are my kids" energy. you may pay off their student loans or even party with some of them on a night out if you see them. you might appeal to a younger crowd - teens, college, and early adults. your fans see you as fair and as a pillar of authority. they look to you to determine how to move and act as a fandom. you act as the compass for order in their eyes. whatever you say to do, they will do. want to win a specific award? your fans will make sure they buy enough albums and vote enough for you to win it. want to collab with a specific artist? your fans will flood that person's timeline to make sure you two interact. it's almost like they fulfill your wishes! it reminds me of the saying ARMYs have about "anything yoongi wants, yoongi gets". 

the general public may have some conflict with you. some people may be prejudiced towards you (maybe because of race, gender, sexuality). some of the public will be hasty to judge you and bash you. this feeling will change fairly quickly. the public will realize they were wrong to judge you and feel horrible about what they did. some people may pray for your downfall and instead bring their own because it's like negativity towards you is reflected back on those who want to harm you; this goes back to you being heavily protected. in the end, the general public will see you as trustworthy and fair. some will think you're very innovative and great at executing your creative ideas. you could become a county's favorite artist. kind of like how Girls Generation is seen as the "Nation's Girl Group'' in South Korea - that would be your title as a soloist. the general public would end up doting over you and loving you. 

𝐈𝐈

Your Playlist:

Cards: 

Knight of Swords, The Devil, Four of Wands (Rx), The Hermit

Four of Coins, Five of Cups, King of Wands

The Moon (Rx), The Sun 

Page of Coins, The Emperor (Rx)

Ace of Coins

Reading: 

those who chose this pile would be in a musical group. 

you'd probably be the main rapper in this group. your group's music would be fast-paced and energetic. tons of choreography and you all would do major concept changes often. you all would also travel often or experiment with different cultural music. your sound would be bold - you might talk about taboo topics (ie. addiction, sex, violence, obsessions, death). your music might get spoiled before release. there may also be some times when the album is expected to debut on a certain day, and it isn't released until later - maybe because of music clearances or lack of preparation. your music would force people to confront difficult life topics instead of ignoring them. you all would also help people with mental health issues because they relate to the music so well. 

your group would achieve a ton, but i still think your company would be a little tight on finances. your company may be cutting it close to making payments on time, but you and the other members would be financially stable. the company would stay afloat, but it's like they struggle with money management maybe? you also would have a strong fanbase and a strong personal group sound (even while exploring so many genres). i feel like your company's struggles would impact the group and bring down morale. you all would have good successes but it's like your company takes you one step forward and three steps back. regardless, you all pushing through would just create more inspiration for music which in turn makes your fans appreciate and relate to you all more. 

i feel like fans would feel very protective and proud of you. the mismanagement of funds happening within the company would be revealed to the fans and public, but your fandom still has fierce loyalty to you all. they outwardly call out the mismanagement and want better for you all. you might have a lot of sasaengs because of fans' fierce loyalty to you. specific to you, fans may feel like you're very masculine or heavily into you masculine energy. you may be seen as the "sunshine" of the group. people look to you for happiness; there may be tons of compilations of your funny moments. you're like a light to a room to your fans and others. 

the general public learns a lot from you all. that sounds nice, but i think they mostly learn how not to run a company. you all definitely start important societal conversations on taboo topics like explained before, but that really gets overshadowed by company misadventures. people may see your company as young and maybe ignorant of how to be run? they'll feel like your company is abusing their power. you all may not get tons of promotion, so you may only be known to the public for your company's failures.

𝐈𝐈𝐈

Your Playlist:

Cards:

Six of Swords, Nine of Wands (Rx), Three of Coins (Rx), Page of Swords

Knight of Wands (Rx), King of Cups, Page of Cups (Rx), Three of Cups, Nine of Coins (Rx)

Five of Swords (Rx), Five of Coins, Five of Cups (Rx), Knight of Swords (Rx)

The Hierophant, Three of Wands (Rx), Six of Cups (Rx)

The Wheel of Fortune

𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐆𝐄𝐑 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆: 𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐩𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐛𝐮𝐥𝐥𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠

Reading:

those who chose this pile would be in a musical group. 

you'd probably be a vocalist. your music would have a theme all throughout your discography. it would be very consistent, and the albums would play beautifully altogether. each song would fade into the other and almost seem like a movie with just music. people may think you steal songs or there might be plagiarism controversies. someone from the group might be ousted, and that may be talked about in the music or hang over the group for a long time. this might be connected to the music you make in that your group isn't afraid to talk about being left behind and having to forge your own journey. someone in the group may be lazy. 

i think your group might break up, and you become a soloist? then, you'd be left to prove your worth in the music industry. you would come out on top, and let people know that you have a message that you're getting out regardless of the struggles you have to go through in order for it to be heard. i think ultimately you'll be left to work behind the scenes in the music industry - maybe as a songwriter or producer. it'll be the situation of people wanting to hear your words and you wanting to get them out, but it only materializes when it's told through someone else if that makes sense. 

your group career would be very messy. again, some members would be lazy; others would have bad attitudes and either be jealous and even violent. there's tons of in-fighting between members, and it's a major mess for everyone involved. you personally will not be like that though! you'd be the member others feel like they can trust and confide in. you're insightful and might even protect your members who are being bullied or on the receiving end of jealousy. similarly to pile two, your group's album would experience delays - due to plagiarism, samples not being cleared, lazy members, etc. 

your group produces music that's similar to what you all would be experiencing - troubled and emotional youth, manipulation, moodiness, immaturity, and unrequited love. despite all the in-group issues, you all would experience success for a time! ultimately, it will go away due to company mismanagement and all the group issues coming to light. 

fans might not like you because of what messy group members say about you. they'll say you're attention seeking and manipulative even though it's other members doing those exact things and NOT you. you might feel isolated because of the hate you receive. you may think no one likes you, and you might stare off during interviews because you're being ignored. you'd feel really lonely. as you keep going, you will gain strength and feel confident enough in the fact that you know you're a good person despite others believing the opposite. you'll know your truth is more grounding that others' lies. i think this is what will ultimately lead to you preferring to be behind the scenes rather than in the light of the music industry. 

i don't think the general public will hate you as much as fans seem to. the general public would be way more understanding of circumstances and would be willing to hear your side of the story rather than blindly believing you members. you'd have a major impact on the collective, and you might even become an expert in whatever you do behind the scenes. i think people will see that you were used by the machine called the music industry and would feel for you. i also think the public would pick up on the fact that you eventually feel unsure about your musical abilities. they'll see you as disorganized because of how the industry left you. your past would be at the forefront of the general public's mind, so it would be best for you to work behind the scenes, so the music can speak for itself rather than you speaking for the music.

𝐈𝐕

Your Playlist:

Cards:

Five of Swords (Rx), Queen of Coins (Rx), Six of Wands, Strength

Queen of Wands, Knight of Wands (Rx), The Magician, The Hanged Man (Rx)

Page of Swords, King of Swords, Three of Wands

The Star (Rx), Seven of Cups

Four of Cups

𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐆𝐄𝐑 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆: 𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐬𝐞𝐱𝐢𝐬𝐦

Reading:

those who chose this pile would be in a musical group. 

you'd probably be a main dancer and a vocalist (but not a main vocal). your group's music would be shocking. it would deal with topics like manipulation, gossip, paranoia, and the theme might revolve around uncovering secrets and overcoming those who want to harm you. almost like a horror concept! i'm slightly reminded of xdinary heroes or even rage against the machine. your music would seek to uncover immorality in the world and put it in the face of society instead of trying to hide it like we've been taught to. super unique concept! your listeners get the feeling that they can uncover and fight through anything after listening to your music. the music is very strong (maybe even in the rock genre for some of you), and there's a confidence in the music (including sexual confidence). 

there's strong sexual themes in your music. femme fatale and dominatrix vibes are present. this group would be filled with strong female figures who are confident in who they are. in some instances, you all want to be seen as arrogant in order to provide a view of women that's not often seen in the music scene - at least not in a way where women are in control of their own power. this group would play off of gender stereotypes and archetypes in order to make a point to society. again, super creative concepts, and it might even include the occult! like divination tools might be seen in the background of some of your music videos. the point is to show young women that they can be powerful and also know when to hold back in order to show all sides of that power. 

your fans might be on the younger side - teens and young adults. they will like giving you handmade messages and gifts. it's almost giving you being the older sibling, and your fans are the younger sibling who looks up to you. they learn a lot about themselves from you, and see you as this intellectual that has great creative ideas. they also see you as just and fair and might come to you for advice. they may see their future selves in you and look up to you because of that. both of you have tons of love for one another (it's so cute!). 

the general public may not really like you. you may disappoint them because there's this societal view they have of how gender roles should be enforced or how your group should behave, and you all totally go against that. it's like they're thinking "that group would help themselves out if they just followed with the standards. they make it hard on themselves". they see you all as immoral and a bad influence on the younger society. they also see you all as delusional. 

reader's note: do not think of the general public's view as a bad thing! personally, it's important to remember that change only comes when society is forced to confront irrational and prejudicial thinking. if anything, the general public viewing you as this is a compliment in my opinion. 

𝐕

Your Playlist: 

Cards: 

The Lovers, Eight of Swords, The Emperor, Queen of Coins, The Star

The High Priestess, Ten of Cups, Knight of Swords

Five of Cups, Six of Wands, The Hermit

The Chariot 

Reading:

those who chose this pile would be in a musical group. 

you'd be the face of the group/the center - maybe a visual position? your group focuses on love songs and relationships. you all would talk about all the ups and downs of creating, maintaining, and losing relationships. i feel like on the outside, the concepts of each title track might be visually very different, but the major theme of relationships would always be present. for example, there would be a very rosy and cheery song about how in love you all are in a romantic relationship (like a Twice title track), and then your next comeback would be more solemn and serious about how you lost a loved family member or something like that (like what's mentioned in DaBaby's "Gucci Peacoat"). you all would have long lasting careers and be seen as good senior musicians. you all would probably be very personally involved in the music making process. your music would be very comforting and relatable for whoever listens to it. i think you'd give many people hope when it comes to handling relationships. 

i feel like the group's music heavily focuses on emotional connections - so much so that spiritual and occult elements might be present in the process or music videos and things of that nature. your group might be seen as mysterious outside of the music you all make. it's like you all are only focused on the music aspect in the public eye and don't really reveal a ton about your deep personal lives (like siblings or TMIs or things like that). you all really want to emphasize the music! you and your group members would be very close in personal and professional life! you all may feel more like family members rather than friends which will translate into the music. it's like you all will recognize that you'd achieved your dreams all together and you would cherish one another greatly for that. you all may be internationally famous or gather fame quickly - maybe as soon as you debut! it also may be super easy for you all to make and release music. 

i get very despondent energy from your fans for some reason? they may frequently feel disappointed with you all - maybe because of how different title tracks and aesthetics can change for you all? it could also be that they're the type of fans that are always focused on how much bigger you all could be, so they never stop to appreciate how far you all have come and therefore they seem ungrateful. they will eventually get over this though! so maybe in the beginning they feel disappointed about how little known and unappreciated you all are, but when you blow up they feel very proud of your successes and feel like all of yours and their effort has paid off. your fans will look to you for guidance and support when it comes to mental health issues and gain personal strength from you. they may like how withdrawn you and your group can be when it comes to disclosing personal information. 

i didn't get any cards when shuffling to ask how the general public would view you. i only got the bottom of the deck energy which was The Chariot. i feel like this means your success will be so widespread it's hard to contain how the public views you to a couple tarot cards that may give a more in-depth explanation. they'll see you and your group as having great drive and ambition that leads you all to great success despite a long, uphill battle that comes with pursuing a musical career. i feel like they'd be especially impressed because you all come from a small company? it's like you all started from the absolute bottom to become major stars, and the public finds that admirable.

𝐕𝐈

Your Playlist: 

Cards: 

Nine of Cups, The Emperor, Four of Cups, Five of Wands, Six of Wands, The Empress

The Sun, The Fool, Five of Coins (Rx), Three of Wands, Knight of Coins, Four of Swords, Knight of Cups

Three of Cups (Rx), Strength, Page of Coins

The High Priestess (Rx), Five of Swords, The Star, Six of Swords

Ace of Coins

𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐆𝐄𝐑 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆: 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐩𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐨𝐠𝐲𝐧𝐲

Reading:

those who chose this pile would be a soloist. 

off bat, you'd be super successful! i get the feeling you'd always be happy, and that might translate into your music. you may encourage listeners to be happy and invite abundance and gratefulness into their own lives the way you welcomed it into yours. i think you'd be very hands-on with your music, and you'd take the reins in everything you do - i'm almost reminded of beyoncé and how people view her as a perfectionist about her work. despite your perfectionist tendencies, you'd definitely be open to others' ideas, and you'd be nice to work with. people wouldn't have a bad word to say about you in that aspect. you'd be super hypnotic as a celebrity, so people would totally be drawn to you. i think you'd be open about all the "goods" and "bads" of fame. you'd talk about how financial abundance and overflowing love from people is very enticing, but isn't all it's cracked up to be. you'd be open about your struggles, and people would find that refreshing and admire you for your honesty. i think your spirit guides would be guiding you to and throughout fame because you were destined for it. you'd be spiritually protected. 

you'd exude energy and success in your music. you might even make perfect manifestation music! your music would be very original, and i believe you'd write music directly from your heart. you wouldn't worry about being "too vulnerable" because you want to be because it's like that's the essence of music for you. you take setbacks from your life and still find hope in them in order to take good from the indecipherable bad. i think that's what would make your music most unique. you'd treat music as your past, present, and future and because of how close you hold it to your heart, it becomes obvious in your music. the point of your music is to show personal growth, and people would connect with that immediately. i also think relationships and romance would be important in your music since your emotions would always be in your songwriting. your breakups, makeups, and new connections would always be written and released to the public - i'm reminded of Taylor Swift and Ariana Grande. 

fans (or maybe more so the general public?) may see you like the two artists i just mentioned are viewed - promiscuous, always in a relationship, and maybe even excessive and overindulgent in life and financial endeavors. others will say that you're confident in yourself and your sexuality and find that empowering. they see you as someone who is secure in themself and doesn't need public approval to do whatever you want. there's a subtle, grand confidence in you that people see. your fans may want to be like you and be students of you, writing your every word down. you might be popular with teens and young adults. 

the general public will see you as someone who is secretive and doing shady things behind the scenes. they'll feel like your energy and personality is too good to be true. they'll say you're immoral and maybe even involved with the illuminati or something like that. some might even say you're misusing spirituality or witchcraft to get your fame. people would want to speak negatively on you and cause you distress; they might often engage in smear campaigns to lower your credibility. for others, you give them hope. overall, people's negative intentions will not matter because, as said before, you'd be heavily spiritually protected. you'll be able to brush off smear campaigns and negative, false publicity very easily. your foundation is too strong to be broken by bullies and those who are so miserable in their own lives they push it onto others.

𝐕𝐈𝐈

Your Playlist: 

Cards: 

Knight of Swords, King of Coins, The High Priestess (Rx), Three of Cups (Rx)

Ten of Swords, Nine of Swords (Rx), Three of Wands, Knight of Coins

Queen of Cups, Ten of Cups (Rx), The Fool, Page of Cups

Five of Cups, Five of Wands, King of Wands (Rx)

Judgment

𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐆𝐄𝐑 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆: 𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐩𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧, 𝐬𝐞𝐱, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐝𝐞𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧

Reading:

those who chose this pile would be a soloist. 

you'd be very involved in the musical process. you'd likely write most (if not, all) of your music. anything you make is sure to be a hit. you're ambitious with your ideas, and you're quick to create and hop onto new trends. i get the feeling you wouldn't trust your musical abilities despite how they always seem to work out for you. maybe you need a ton of outside support to finally decide "okay, this is a good idea". you might even be older than expected when you become a musical artist. you might feel unfulfilled in life in general and especially in the music industry despite your successes. you might spend way more money than you have, or you might just flaunt your wealth excessively. you might rely on drugs, alcohol, or sexual adventures as an escape from your feelings of loneliness. it seems you'd be successful but unhappy. 

your music may include information about the traumas you have. whatever is causing you to turn to your addictions will be explicitly mentioned in the music you put out. a lot of your music may mention themes like grief, depression, and hardship. it's like your music allows for you to constantly relive your traumatic experiences and that makes it hard for you to heal or create different thematic content if that makes sense. i think once you gained success you thought you would be happy, but it only made it worse because you realized fame and money does not automatically bring happiness. ultimately, i think those around you will urge you to gain confidence and help you to know you're on the right path. you'd slowly but surely become more emotionally stable and start traveling more and feeling more happiness. 

your fans would see you as very in tune with your intuition and femininity or feminine energy. they'd see you as caring, sensitive, and emotional. i think that's because those are the elements you use to make your music. they also see you as wildly artistic and creative. they might feel like you come up with music and ideas that no one else would even think of. they'd see you as an innovator. i also think they'd see you as broken or coming from traumatic and undesirable circumstances. i think they'd recognize and feel your pain. they'd view your life in the music industry and your fame as a new beginning for you and would see it as a chance for you to be free from what's hurt you. they might like writing out their love for you through social media campaigns or through giving you handwritten letters. they'd see you as someone who is constantly growing and learning, and they'd feel happy seeing you happy. 

the general public may have wishy-washy feelings towards you. they might find out about your addictions and feel disappointed with you. some people will feel empathetic and recognize how your misfortunes affect you and may have the view of "oh, it's horrible that they went through that. i hope they no longer do that and start feeling better and happier". others will feel like you're selfish and didn't appreciate what you were given if you engaged in your addictions while you were successful. they might think "they gained all that money and fame, so why even go down the route of addiction? they were just wallowing in their sadness". very different points of view, so the general public would feel split on their feelings towards you overall.

𝐕𝐈𝐈𝐈

Your Playlist: 

Cards: 

Ten of Coins, King of Wands, Five of Wands, Temperance, Four of Wands

Nine of Swords (Rx), The Emperor (Rx), Five of Swords, Three of Cups

The Devil (Rx), King of Coins, Six of Cups

Ten of Wands, The Hanged Man

Knight of Coins

𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐆𝐄𝐑 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆: 𝐬𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐨𝐟 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐬𝐥𝐞𝐞𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐚𝐛𝐢𝐭𝐬; 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠

Reading:

those who chose this pile would be a soloist. 

you might be discovered purely by "chance". maybe you posted a song cover on YouTube or became popular on TikTok, and a label decided to pick you up. your music may have to do with your personal life like your family, how you gained your fame, your life history, and things of that nature. your music would be very motivational and strong. you may be very specific about your aesthetic and visuals because you want to stand out among the artist-filled industry. you would be super competitive when it came to the music game. you might be a rapper? i feel like you'd focus a ton on things like word-play. you also might like making society and listeners think about life, society, and spirituality/their life purpose. i'm reminded of artists like Jhene Aiko and J. Cole. you'd benefit a lot from your fame. 

you may be a perfectionist about your craft. you might miss out on healthy sleeping and eating patterns while working on an album. you may love the idea of working yourself until you can't work anymore. you see the struggle of work as a labor of birthing these creative ideas and appreciate each time you can create something new. i know i mentioned earlier that a record label may have wanted to pick you up, but i think you might prefer to be an independent artist. you wouldn't want to be confined to company standards and expectations; you would want to focus on the music. people and companies may want you to fail because of this. they may intentionally block your music from being played on the radio or from being nominated for awards. despite this, you would still gain success from you giving to others and others finding your energy welcoming. a strong group (could be your fans or the collective) would ensure your success. 

your fans would see you as someone that breaks free from the societal mold. they'd see you as someone that knows how to think for themselves even if the group wants them to think differently. they also see you as someone that knows how to keep going and growing when shit hits the fan. you'd be seen as someone that doesn't allow for life circumstances to bring them down. they'd see you as a successful business person who has the perfect ear for music and eyes for aesthetics. they may also see you as someone that is very guided spiritually. they can tell someone is watching over you to be sure you succeed in the industry. 

the general public would see you as someone who made something from nothing. they may not view you as this huge, international superstar, but you would be somewhat known. some parts of the population would be able to recognize you from a photo or from the mention of your name. some of the public may feel like you're delusional in what you're trying to achieve (especially if you're an independent artist going against big companies). i think the general public would also be able to tell that you're spiritually guided and protected. parts of the public will like that you give a fresh perspective to them and the rest of society. you could begin an idea shift in the collective.