Hi Hi Loves!!! So A Wonderful Little Birdie Aka @melleus Told Me That You Can Actually Block Certain
Hi hi loves!!! So a wonderful little birdie aka @melleus told me that you can actually block certain annons from sending you asks, in this case sending hate comments
Here is the link to the tut
Please repost this to spread the word!!! :)
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hey lovie, could you please tag me in the finding out youâre a bet part 2đ pretty pleaseđ«¶đđ€ I love it soooo muchhh
Of course, lovelyđ„° and ty for readingđ
Could I be added to the taglist for the "skz making a bet on you" part 2? If yes then thank you, if not then it's okayđ
Yes ofc u can!đ„°
My ass is over here crying and shit. like DAMN WIPE YO TEARS
Hard To Love



Where Chan was hard to love but harder to not. Pairing: Bang Chan x gn!Reader // Lee Know x gn!Reader Genre: Angst with fluff at the end / friends to lovers Warning: cuss words, implied toxic behaviour, mentions of a girlfriend and ragging. Playlist: Every Road Leads ~ Bette Midler
Bang Chan was hard to love. To you at least.
You had known Christopher Bang all your life. Your parents were neighbours turned friends which naturally passed on to Chan and you; childhood best friends keeping their friendship intact all the way to high school and even through college. And now, even as you both were adults, occupied in your own jobs, your friendship still remained, stronger than ever.
It was safe to say, you had the best memories with Chan. Be it breaking rules or crying over some soppy ass movie on a Saturday night; laughing at weird corny jokes or bawling over a nasty breakup. All your firsts also belonged to each other, call it curiosity or whatever. There wasnât much to complain about your platonic journey with Chan.
Except when there was. Things werenât all that platonic on your end, after all. And how couldnât they? Chan was perfect after all, at least for you. To you. But it was hard to love Christopher âChanâ Bang.
âHey __!! Whereâs Chan hyung? Is he not coming tonight?â
Jeonginâs loud call jerked you back into the present, as you noticed all of their attention was now on you.
âHe said heâll be on time and now everyoneâs here while heâs slacking.â
Hyunjin dramatically shook his head, as if to expressly show his disapproval, not that Chan or anyone in the room cared much.
âHow would I know? Iâm right here, sitting with you guys, arenât I?â
You tried using sarcasm as a way to ward off their attention from you, knowing that they thought you both mustâve fought and were now grovelling for each other. But the truth was, you really didnât know where Chan was; you hadnât known anything about him for a few months now.
âI donât know, you guys are always attached to each otherâs hip soâŠâ
Jisungâs voice, masked with indifference, couldnât hide the amusement that filled his eyes at the irony of the situation, which made you scoff in annoyance.
As Chan and you got into high school, you befriended Changbin and Minho respectively and together you guys made a lot of memories and unable to part ways, you took admission in the same college where you found Jisung and his younger brother Seungmin, then Hyunjin and lastly Minhoâs younger brother Jeongin too joined your group, all of them a year junior to the four of you. The last to join your group was also a junior, another Australian, Felix, that Chan saved from ragging and introduced him to your group. Since then the nine of you are inseparable.
Honestly though, the group was always divided a little by biases towards Chan and you. Changbin and Minho sided with you for some reason. If teams were being formed, they would be the first to pick you, even when Chan wouldnât and you could now for sure say that if things ever went downhill, theyâd be the ones to never leave your side whereas Hyunjin, Han and Jeongin always biased Chan, dare you say revered him for some reason. Felix was the obvious one, Chan literally was his knight in shining armour though your friends always joked that he had some kind of bi-panic towards Chan and you. Seungmin on the other hand, couldnât be bothered less. If it were casually picking teams, heâd go by whatever team he was feeling that day. But if it were a serious issue, heâd always side with whatever he thought was right. So he never really picked a side.
In his words, âI dislike you motherfuckers all the same.â But you knew that his precious heart would and could never pick sides. And you adored him and this little chosen family of yours, even if they gave you run for your money sometimes, a little less than you adored Chan though.
Chan was for a lack of better words, MIA these days. He used to tell you that he couldnât survive an hour without you, which was somewhat true based on your history. You guys were indeed always attached to hip, no matter how much you wanted to punch the smirk off Jisungâs face.
âSorry guys I had an emergency.â
Lo and behold, there he was. The man of the hour, truly. He was on everybodyâs mind yet you couldnât be sure what or who was on HIS mind. Strolling in so casually and effortlessly gorgeous, oblivious to the storm in your head, greeting everyone with that bright smile of his that easily made your heart skip a beat or two. He exuded main character energy; the handsome protagonist that makes all the girls in college swoon, that is adored by children and elders alike, the favourite friend of all the parents, the one that can easily make friends with even the coldest person in the world, the one who got the most roses during valentines and would smoothly reject them with the most innocent face as if he didnât know the entire female population of the college liked him.
He was annoying and charming and you were just another female in that lot, who failed to resist him. But who could blame you when you were so close to him that you could almost taste the kind of love that you wanted from him. You were not delusional after all, just hopeful.
âHey sweet girl! How are you doing?â
But it was harder to not love him, especially when he spoke to you like that. The sweet nicknames in his honey like voice, the genuine adoration in his alluring eyes and the way his words seemed to always melt your heart in a mush. Youâve loved him ever since you first understood what love was.
âIâm good. How about you?â
You could feel the squeak in your words, and so did the other seven men in the room, as if someone had wrung your throat and made you answer but Chan only passed you his infamous flashing smile.
âIâm good too, now that Iâve seen you.â
And he said it so casually, oblivious to the heat spreading the entirety of your face and the racing of your heart, that you knew it didnât mean what you actually wanted it to mean. This was the real him, he had always been good with words, it came naturally to him. Maybe you werenât a special case to him for he naturally had so much love to give to everyone, even if you selfishly wanted to be the only one.
Maybe, this was all he ever was-oblivious. He couldnât see what the rest of your friends could, your parents could, the entire college could, heck youâre sure even a stranger would if they were to be in your vicinity. But he didnât. He couldnât see the person he said he knew the best. At least, not anymore. You shouldâve known. He was the best at obliviousness.
âYou were the one who disappeared and are now suddenly back with your cheesy words.â
You rolled your eyes at him, trying to feign nonchalance, pretend that you didnât care about him, pretend that it didnât hurt, his actions donât hurt. After all, this was what you were the best at-pretence.
He sat beside you with a soft, dramatic âoofâ and wrapped his arms around your shoulders in a bear hug. You let out a sigh of relief, as if a burden was lifted off your shoulders.
âIâm sorry. I know thatâs on me but I was going through something, that Iâll soon share with you, before you say it. You know Iâd never abandon you like that, donât you?â
You did know that, didnât you? Chan had always been so attentive and caring towards you ever since your first day at kindergarten together. Holding your hands all the way up to class, tending to your physical injuries, lending his shoulders to cry on, memorised all your allergies and actively watched out for you, never letting you walk on the road side, crossing roads with you as if he were protecting a child, having your orders from all cafĂ©s and restaurants at the back of his mind and even healing all your mental scars, all but that which were related to him. How could you not love him when he made you feel like you were on top of the world, like you two were the only ones for each other, like he reciprocated your feelings? These little things were what actually attracted you to him.
Only to go on dates with people that could even give supermodels run for their money. His dates made you realise that you would never be close to his ideal type, youâd never be what he wants in life, thereby discouraging you from confessing whenever you mustered up some courage.
âYeah youâre being unfair to all of us. Do you know how much __ missed you? Kept asking about you all the damn time.â
You glared at Felix with so much heat that he visibly squirmed at his place, beside Seungmin, who though had a blank look on his face, smacked his arm as if gesturing to stop his nonsense.
âThe last time I remember, it was Chanâs minions, who were hassling __ for his whereabouts, Felix, wasnât it?â
Changbin, as always, your saviour took your side and effectively shut the boys up, who were clearly enjoying your plight.
âAh! My bad, guys. But whatâs so wrong with my girl missing me, Bin?â
You jerked up from his hold to look at him but he didnât let your hands escape his as he stared back at you with a playful glint in his warm eyes. You could hear a lot of âoohsâ and giggles around you but you couldnât care less because he was doing it again; giving you hope that you guys were something more, only to turn around and switch to the same old best friends forever shit.
âNo no thereâs absolutely nothing wrong with YOUR girl missing you.â
You could hear Hyunjinâs annoying drawl but you held your breath, waiting for him to do just exactly what you expected of him, you knew him better than he knew you after all, heck you knew him better than he knew himself and you knew you couldnât be wrong about him, even though you kept hoping against hope. You wanted to be wrong tonight.
âExactly! So stop teasing my best friend about it.â
Yup! There it was; the tag that you once wore with honour gradually turning into a weight holding you down. The giggles quietened as your shoulders sunk and you relaxed back into the couch, you didnât know whatâs on everyoneâs mind but you surely expected it to happen once again because you also knew that Chan had always enjoyed attention, you just didnât expect to be one of his enjoyment sources as well but you slowly learnt that maybe you were too. He liked knowing that he had your heart on the palm of his hands; knowing that he was the only one for you, finding comfort in the fact that no matter what he did and no matter where he went, he could always come back home to you. And you would take him back with open arms, like a fool. Always.
But you had enough. You thought tonight youâll tell him of your feelings and be done with it, once and for all. You knew he wonât accept them but at least youâd get your closure with his rejection and move on to a life without the hopes of Chan as your boyfriend.
âThen start being my best friend properly. I canât be the only one in this friendship anymore, could I?â
You knew the weight of your words surprised not only Chan but also the rest of the group, who now looked alert and uncomfortable, knowing it wasnât a jest anymore for you. Chanâs eyes widened with disbelief did nothing to deter yours filled with determination.
âBaby donât be like that. For once, think about me and youâd understand why I was gone for a while. Please donât make a scene tonight, when all of us are here and so happy together; when Iâm so happy after a long time.â
His words, as much as had the powers to heal me, also had the powers to destroy me from within. How could he so subtly call me selfish? I donât think about him? If only he still cared about me heâd know that all I ever thought about was him. Did he also imply that he was so unhappy but all I did was ignore him and make a scene out of everything? I didnât listen to him? Hah! If he wanted, I could recite everything heâs ever said to me, word by word. Thatâs how much I paid attention to him.
âThat was a little too harsh, wasnât it Chan hyung? Why donât you just get straight to the point and save us all the misery of your oh-so-unhappy-life?â
Seungmin, as always the blunt Angel that he was, said with a finality. When all Chan saw was the disbelief on everyoneâs face and understood that he disappointed everyone with the choice of his words, he knew he took it too far.
âOkay! I guess itâs time to tell you all. You remember the hot girl I hooked up with in that downtown bar six months ago?â
Of course you did, even if nobody else did because you remember feeling like a 16 year old heartbroken kid all over again when you found Chan making out with a beautiful stranger when you turned to find him after a quick toilet break.
âWell we caught up again six months back and decided to see where it leads us. We took a break off to Jeju and damn I had the time of my life. I think itâs safe to say weâre ready to date now. I donât think Iâve been happier in my life ever.â
Six months since Chan disappeared on you, leaving you wondering if you did something wrong. Six months since he left you and started thinking of a life with someone else, without informing you. Granted you didnât have to know everything about his life but he couldnât even tell you heâd be gone, as a best friend?
Oh! How pathetic you were, truly. When all your happiness only ever relied on him, he didnât even think you had ever made him feel joyous. Were you jealous, angry, hopeless or heartbroken? You didnât know; maybe all of it, in that order. Suddenly 24 years of friendship felt suffocating to you, useless even, if he couldnât share his whereabouts and woes with you.
âWah! Youâre so cool dude. You got two of the coldest and the most gorgeous chicks of our college crazy in love with you. Damn!â
And of course Hyunjin was going to praise Chan, as if he had saved the world. Even Jeongin looked scandalised with the amount of bullshit that came out of Hyunjinâs mouth, then it was fair enough that Minho almost strangled him.
âWait! Two? Whoâs the other one.â
Hah! What a funny guy he was; couldnât even keep quiet for once and let you silently grovel in your misery. Thankfully though, the chime of your phone from a colleague gave you an excuse to escape. Of course you werenât going to actually answer the phone because you didnât think you could form words without a tremor in your voice.
But you couldnât stop your thoughts from going haywire now. Should you have told him sooner? Was it your fault? Were you not obvious enough? Of course he wouldnât actually ever pick you, who were you after all? He had so many better choices, someone he would be proud to have by his side. You were never enough, you had always known then why did it hurt so much?
âYou can stop blaming yourself now.â
Minhoâs sweet voice tinged with sternness infiltrated your thoughts as you saw him take a seat beside you on the patio bench. You took deep breaths, trying to hold your emotions.
âYou once told me it was okay to cry and let out my feelings in front of you because youâd never judge me for it. Tonight I ask the same of you. I think youâve tortured yourself enough.â
An exhausted sigh followed by a stream of tears finally escaped you as you let your emotions wash over you and rest your head on Minhoâs shoulder. Never had you ever thought that someone other than Chan would ever be able to comfort you, least of all Minho.
Minho wasnât the most expressive person, even if you could swear that he was the one who felt the most emotions-the most hurt, the happiest, the most excited and even the angriest. You knew that he checked his emotions so damn much because sometimes they drove him, in his words, insane. While you knew he had your back as did, you his, he wasnât your closest friend. You had the least amount of memories with him, you both were a weird bunch to be honest.
âThis was bound to happen one day then why does it hurt so much?â
You didnât even think he heard your whisper but he surprised you, not that you even expected a reply.
âBecause feelings canât be helped and you felt too many of them for just one person all your life.â
You buried your face in his shoulders as your cries turned into silent sobs and his arms tightened around you. You could swear it was the safest youâd felt in a while, dare you say like the comfort of a home and you wondered why Minho had never held you before for you swore his hug was soothing.
âI think itâs better this way.â
Your words prompted him to make distance so as to look at your face but you werenât ready to look at his face, afraid of his judgement.
âHeâs perfect in every sense and he seeks perfection in every sense while I can never be even close to perfection nor have I ever strived to be. You know those main characters of a movie whoâs rich, good looking, charming, got a gorgeous troublesome ex but somehow ends up with a character thatâs completely opposite of them? Chan is that main character to me. I think that even if I confessed to him and he had accepted me Iâd always be anxious, trying my best to keep him in my life, make sure heâd never grow bored of me, be his perfect other half and that wouldâve ultimately killed the person within me that he liked, or if ever liked.â
You gave a bitter smile at your fate and walked away from the bench while staring at the moon that looked so pretty yet unattainable, just like Chan. So close yet so far.
âHe never deserved you any way. You deserve so much better and more than he could give you.â
You let out a sarcastic scoff at Minhoâs words as you felt him coming closer to you.
âAnd who said that?â
âIâm saying that. Changbin says that. Heck, even Chanâs minions know that. If this isnât enough for you, then all those roses in your locker say that.â
You were sure there was a frown on your face at his reply. Maybe Minho was more delusional than you because no way in hell so many people would ever think that way. You appreciated his efforts to make you feel better but he didnât have to lie to your face. All of a sudden, you felt his fingers on your jaw, pulling you to face him as you stood wide-eyed in surprise.
âYou never noticed these things because you were so busy noticing what Chan needed. You never noticed those roses and letters in your locker because you were focused on his; you rejected all prom dates because you were busy moping as he picked his date; you never noticed how the entire college stoped to look back at you as you entered the campus because you were always focused on what Chan was saying. You never noticed how much I love you because you were busy loving him.â
The only words that managed to knock your breath out after this sudden proximity between you two were the last few words that escaped from him as his eyes softened at your now misty ones while his fingers kept caressing your cheeks as if to ground you to the present.
âMinho!â
And a soft whisper of his name was all you could manage to let out. You were sure that your heart had pretty much skipped an entire rhythm right now. How could he be in love with you? He never even gave any signs. He was always so distant that you even thought he disliked you when you first spoke to him. He rested his head on yours as both of you closed your eyes, feeling an ecstasy that was never felt before.
âIâve been in love with you ever since I first saw you in the college cafeteria. It was impossible to not notice you when you were practically glowing in my eyes; so pretty, had such a sweet giggle, spoke so passionately about how Toy Story 1 was the best movie and other sequels shouldâve never been made, cried over a hurt kitten all in one day of knowing you; all these things made me want to wrap you in a blanket burrito and never let go.â
You let out a little chuckle as your grip tightened on his shirt and more tears escaped you.
âI wanted to approach you, tell you I wanted to date you but you were clearly not interested in anything romantic if it wasnât with Chan so I settled for being friends. I thought it was better to have some of you than none of you. You said that Chan was the main character in your story but you were the main character in mine.â
This time you didnât stop the sob that came out of you, thinking about how much you hurt him unintentionally. You also couldnât stop thinking about a possibility of all that couldâve been if you took off the rose tinted glasses through which you saw Chan, even once.
âMaybe this is my punishment Minho. I kept hurting you, just as much as I kept getting hurt. I kept blaming Chan in my head but whatâs the difference between him and I, when I did the same to you?â
He immediately shook his head and held you by the shoulders with so much resolve that it compelled you to stop rambling and listen to him.
âThereâs a lot of differences between the two of you. You never gave me any mixed signals, you never played push and pull with my emotions, you always knew what you wanted; I was the one hurting because I couldnât let go of you. Our situation is different than Chan and yours. How were you to know that I felt this way about you when I kept my distance? But youâve to understand that I was reserved because I was scared about the intensity of my love towards you, even when we had so much space between us. What wouldâve happened if I didnât push myself out of the frame? Would that have been better for the two of us?
As you looked at his doe eyes that reflected the depth of his soul, you knew for sure, that this man right here wouldâve been able to break through all your walls of false hopes and easily made you love him, perhaps more than youâve ever loved anyone.
âMaybe!â
âMaybe!â
Both of you nodded and whispered in a silent agreement but refused to let of each other, needing to believe that this moment was true, that it was really happening.
âThen would you wait a little more for me?â
You could see the glimmer of hope in his eyes that he squashed with confusion, not wanting to get disappointed for hoping about something that he long gave up on without even trying but you were determined to not hurt and get hurt anymore. Maybe this was a new beginning for you, for him and for Chan.
âWait for what?â
You took a deep breath and clutched his hand that was still unknowingly caressing the back of your neck.
âPlease wait for me to get over my heartbreak and let me get to know you as something more than just friends. I know what Iâm asking of you is a bit selfish but I donât want to treat you as a rebound, as a replacement of what I couldnât have, as an outlet of my heartbreak. I want us to be real and our beginning shouldnât be formed on the basis of my negative baggage. You deserve the best and while I may not be the best, I want to be at least my best for you; for us.â
His beaded eyes shone with something that you couldnât really place but you knew that you could travel to the end of the world if it meant that his eyes would shine like that.
âIâve waited for you when there wasnât any hope or reason to. Imagine how long I could wait for you now that youâve given me a reason to.â
Yes, you were definitely a fool to not notice this pure hearted man who might not have stood by your side but always around you, silently protecting you and loving you without expecting anything in return. But what you did notice was how you liked this kind of crying where you couldnât even stop smiling at each other, especially when his bunny smile looked so endearing on him.
And as you both wrapped each other around in an intimate loversâ hold you finally felt contentment, as if the last piece of a huge complicated puzzle finally snapped in place. You pressed your nose in his shirt, letting his scent comfort you and could already feel yourself wanting to drift off to somewhere only you and him existed.
While it may have been harder to not love Chan, you think it may be criminal to not love Minho.
What you both didnât notice was a pair of eyes in the corner of the yard, observing you two since the beginning, overwhelmed but feeling a crack in his heart that he never even imagined he would. Were new beginnings supposed to make your heart twist like that?

©ïžstayinhellevator2023: Please donât repost, translate or copy my work on any other platform.
So I guess I'll be writing a Bang Chan angst fic after I'm done w/ the bet series.
on a side note, I really need to finish that Seungmin fic. It's been on pause for two months now.
Ths will be after the others are released I swear