yangbbokari - MumuđŸŒđŸŒžâ˜ïž
MumuđŸŒđŸŒžâ˜ïž

Hi! I'm Mumu (pen name), 14

706 posts

Hi Hi Loves!!! So A Wonderful Little Birdie Aka @melleus Told Me That You Can Actually Block Certain

Hi hi loves!!! So a wonderful little birdie aka @melleus told me that you can actually block certain annons from sending you asks, in this case sending hate comments

Here is the link to the tut

Please repost this to spread the word!!! :)

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More Posts from Yangbbokari

1 year ago

hey lovie, could you please tag me in the finding out you’re a bet part 2💗 pretty pleaseđŸ«¶đŸ’—đŸ€ I love it soooo muchhh

Of course, lovelyđŸ„° and ty for reading💕


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1 year ago

HII CAN I BE TAGGED IN BETS PT 2???

OFCCCCCCCCCCC💞


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1 year ago

Could I be added to the taglist for the "skz making a bet on you" part 2? If yes then thank you, if not then it's okay😊

Yes ofc u can!đŸ„°


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1 year ago

My ass is over here crying and shit. like DAMN WIPE YO TEARS

Hard To Love

Hard To Love
Hard To Love
Hard To Love

Where Chan was hard to love but harder to not. Pairing: Bang Chan x gn!Reader // Lee Know x gn!Reader Genre: Angst with fluff at the end / friends to lovers Warning: cuss words, implied toxic behaviour, mentions of a girlfriend and ragging. Playlist: Every Road Leads ~ Bette Midler

Bang Chan was hard to love. To you at least.

You had known Christopher Bang all your life. Your parents were neighbours turned friends which naturally passed on to Chan and you; childhood best friends keeping their friendship intact all the way to high school and even through college. And now, even as you both were adults, occupied in your own jobs, your friendship still remained, stronger than ever.

It was safe to say, you had the best memories with Chan. Be it breaking rules or crying over some soppy ass movie on a Saturday night; laughing at weird corny jokes or bawling over a nasty breakup. All your firsts also belonged to each other, call it curiosity or whatever. There wasn’t much to complain about your platonic journey with Chan.

Except when there was. Things weren’t all that platonic on your end, after all. And how couldn’t they? Chan was perfect after all, at least for you. To you. But it was hard to love Christopher ‘Chan’ Bang.

“Hey __!! Where’s Chan hyung? Is he not coming tonight?”

Jeongin’s loud call jerked you back into the present, as you noticed all of their attention was now on you.

“He said he’ll be on time and now everyone’s here while he’s slacking.”

Hyunjin dramatically shook his head, as if to expressly show his disapproval, not that Chan or anyone in the room cared much.

“How would I know? I’m right here, sitting with you guys, aren’t I?”

You tried using sarcasm as a way to ward off their attention from you, knowing that they thought you both must’ve fought and were now grovelling for each other. But the truth was, you really didn’t know where Chan was; you hadn’t known anything about him for a few months now.

“I don’t know, you guys are always attached to each other’s hip so
”

Jisung’s voice, masked with indifference, couldn’t hide the amusement that filled his eyes at the irony of the situation, which made you scoff in annoyance.

As Chan and you got into high school, you befriended Changbin and Minho respectively and together you guys made a lot of memories and unable to part ways, you took admission in the same college where you found Jisung and his younger brother Seungmin, then Hyunjin and lastly Minho’s younger brother Jeongin too joined your group, all of them a year junior to the four of you. The last to join your group was also a junior, another Australian, Felix, that Chan saved from ragging and introduced him to your group. Since then the nine of you are inseparable.

Honestly though, the group was always divided a little by biases towards Chan and you. Changbin and Minho sided with you for some reason. If teams were being formed, they would be the first to pick you, even when Chan wouldn’t and you could now for sure say that if things ever went downhill, they’d be the ones to never leave your side whereas Hyunjin, Han and Jeongin always biased Chan, dare you say revered him for some reason. Felix was the obvious one, Chan literally was his knight in shining armour though your friends always joked that he had some kind of bi-panic towards Chan and you. Seungmin on the other hand, couldn’t be bothered less. If it were casually picking teams, he’d go by whatever team he was feeling that day. But if it were a serious issue, he’d always side with whatever he thought was right. So he never really picked a side.

In his words, “I dislike you motherfuckers all the same.” But you knew that his precious heart would and could never pick sides. And you adored him and this little chosen family of yours, even if they gave you run for your money sometimes, a little less than you adored Chan though.

Chan was for a lack of better words, MIA these days. He used to tell you that he couldn’t survive an hour without you, which was somewhat true based on your history. You guys were indeed always attached to hip, no matter how much you wanted to punch the smirk off Jisung’s face.

“Sorry guys I had an emergency.”

Lo and behold, there he was. The man of the hour, truly. He was on everybody’s mind yet you couldn’t be sure what or who was on HIS mind. Strolling in so casually and effortlessly gorgeous, oblivious to the storm in your head, greeting everyone with that bright smile of his that easily made your heart skip a beat or two. He exuded main character energy; the handsome protagonist that makes all the girls in college swoon, that is adored by children and elders alike, the favourite friend of all the parents, the one that can easily make friends with even the coldest person in the world, the one who got the most roses during valentines and would smoothly reject them with the most innocent face as if he didn’t know the entire female population of the college liked him.

He was annoying and charming and you were just another female in that lot, who failed to resist him. But who could blame you when you were so close to him that you could almost taste the kind of love that you wanted from him. You were not delusional after all, just hopeful.

“Hey sweet girl! How are you doing?”

But it was harder to not love him, especially when he spoke to you like that. The sweet nicknames in his honey like voice, the genuine adoration in his alluring eyes and the way his words seemed to always melt your heart in a mush. You’ve loved him ever since you first understood what love was.

“I’m good. How about you?”

You could feel the squeak in your words, and so did the other seven men in the room, as if someone had wrung your throat and made you answer but Chan only passed you his infamous flashing smile.

“I’m good too, now that I’ve seen you.”

And he said it so casually, oblivious to the heat spreading the entirety of your face and the racing of your heart, that you knew it didn’t mean what you actually wanted it to mean. This was the real him, he had always been good with words, it came naturally to him. Maybe you weren’t a special case to him for he naturally had so much love to give to everyone, even if you selfishly wanted to be the only one.

Maybe, this was all he ever was-oblivious. He couldn’t see what the rest of your friends could, your parents could, the entire college could, heck you’re sure even a stranger would if they were to be in your vicinity. But he didn’t. He couldn’t see the person he said he knew the best. At least, not anymore. You should’ve known. He was the best at obliviousness.

“You were the one who disappeared and are now suddenly back with your cheesy words.”

You rolled your eyes at him, trying to feign nonchalance, pretend that you didn’t care about him, pretend that it didn’t hurt, his actions don’t hurt. After all, this was what you were the best at-pretence.

He sat beside you with a soft, dramatic ‘oof’ and wrapped his arms around your shoulders in a bear hug. You let out a sigh of relief, as if a burden was lifted off your shoulders.

“I’m sorry. I know that’s on me but I was going through something, that I’ll soon share with you, before you say it. You know I’d never abandon you like that, don’t you?”

You did know that, didn’t you? Chan had always been so attentive and caring towards you ever since your first day at kindergarten together. Holding your hands all the way up to class, tending to your physical injuries, lending his shoulders to cry on, memorised all your allergies and actively watched out for you, never letting you walk on the road side, crossing roads with you as if he were protecting a child, having your orders from all cafĂ©s and restaurants at the back of his mind and even healing all your mental scars, all but that which were related to him. How could you not love him when he made you feel like you were on top of the world, like you two were the only ones for each other, like he reciprocated your feelings? These little things were what actually attracted you to him.

Only to go on dates with people that could even give supermodels run for their money. His dates made you realise that you would never be close to his ideal type, you’d never be what he wants in life, thereby discouraging you from confessing whenever you mustered up some courage.

“Yeah you’re being unfair to all of us. Do you know how much __ missed you? Kept asking about you all the damn time.”

You glared at Felix with so much heat that he visibly squirmed at his place, beside Seungmin, who though had a blank look on his face, smacked his arm as if gesturing to stop his nonsense.

“The last time I remember, it was Chan’s minions, who were hassling __ for his whereabouts, Felix, wasn’t it?”

Changbin, as always, your saviour took your side and effectively shut the boys up, who were clearly enjoying your plight.

“Ah! My bad, guys. But what’s so wrong with my girl missing me, Bin?”

You jerked up from his hold to look at him but he didn’t let your hands escape his as he stared back at you with a playful glint in his warm eyes. You could hear a lot of ‘oohs’ and giggles around you but you couldn’t care less because he was doing it again; giving you hope that you guys were something more, only to turn around and switch to the same old best friends forever shit.

“No no there’s absolutely nothing wrong with YOUR girl missing you.”

You could hear Hyunjin’s annoying drawl but you held your breath, waiting for him to do just exactly what you expected of him, you knew him better than he knew you after all, heck you knew him better than he knew himself and you knew you couldn’t be wrong about him, even though you kept hoping against hope. You wanted to be wrong tonight.

“Exactly! So stop teasing my best friend about it.”

Yup! There it was; the tag that you once wore with honour gradually turning into a weight holding you down. The giggles quietened as your shoulders sunk and you relaxed back into the couch, you didn’t know what’s on everyone’s mind but you surely expected it to happen once again because you also knew that Chan had always enjoyed attention, you just didn’t expect to be one of his enjoyment sources as well but you slowly learnt that maybe you were too. He liked knowing that he had your heart on the palm of his hands; knowing that he was the only one for you, finding comfort in the fact that no matter what he did and no matter where he went, he could always come back home to you. And you would take him back with open arms, like a fool. Always.

But you had enough. You thought tonight you’ll tell him of your feelings and be done with it, once and for all. You knew he won’t accept them but at least you’d get your closure with his rejection and move on to a life without the hopes of Chan as your boyfriend.

“Then start being my best friend properly. I can’t be the only one in this friendship anymore, could I?”

You knew the weight of your words surprised not only Chan but also the rest of the group, who now looked alert and uncomfortable, knowing it wasn’t a jest anymore for you. Chan’s eyes widened with disbelief did nothing to deter yours filled with determination.

“Baby don’t be like that. For once, think about me and you’d understand why I was gone for a while. Please don’t make a scene tonight, when all of us are here and so happy together; when I’m so happy after a long time.”

His words, as much as had the powers to heal me, also had the powers to destroy me from within. How could he so subtly call me selfish? I don’t think about him? If only he still cared about me he’d know that all I ever thought about was him. Did he also imply that he was so unhappy but all I did was ignore him and make a scene out of everything? I didn’t listen to him? Hah! If he wanted, I could recite everything he’s ever said to me, word by word. That’s how much I paid attention to him.

“That was a little too harsh, wasn’t it Chan hyung? Why don’t you just get straight to the point and save us all the misery of your oh-so-unhappy-life?”

Seungmin, as always the blunt Angel that he was, said with a finality. When all Chan saw was the disbelief on everyone’s face and understood that he disappointed everyone with the choice of his words, he knew he took it too far.

“Okay! I guess it’s time to tell you all. You remember the hot girl I hooked up with in that downtown bar six months ago?”

Of course you did, even if nobody else did because you remember feeling like a 16 year old heartbroken kid all over again when you found Chan making out with a beautiful stranger when you turned to find him after a quick toilet break.

“Well we caught up again six months back and decided to see where it leads us. We took a break off to Jeju and damn I had the time of my life. I think it’s safe to say we’re ready to date now. I don’t think I’ve been happier in my life ever.”

Six months since Chan disappeared on you, leaving you wondering if you did something wrong. Six months since he left you and started thinking of a life with someone else, without informing you. Granted you didn’t have to know everything about his life but he couldn’t even tell you he’d be gone, as a best friend?

Oh! How pathetic you were, truly. When all your happiness only ever relied on him, he didn’t even think you had ever made him feel joyous. Were you jealous, angry, hopeless or heartbroken? You didn’t know; maybe all of it, in that order. Suddenly 24 years of friendship felt suffocating to you, useless even, if he couldn’t share his whereabouts and woes with you.

“Wah! You’re so cool dude. You got two of the coldest and the most gorgeous chicks of our college crazy in love with you. Damn!”

And of course Hyunjin was going to praise Chan, as if he had saved the world. Even Jeongin looked scandalised with the amount of bullshit that came out of Hyunjin’s mouth, then it was fair enough that Minho almost strangled him.

“Wait! Two? Who’s the other one.”

Hah! What a funny guy he was; couldn’t even keep quiet for once and let you silently grovel in your misery. Thankfully though, the chime of your phone from a colleague gave you an excuse to escape. Of course you weren’t going to actually answer the phone because you didn’t think you could form words without a tremor in your voice.

But you couldn’t stop your thoughts from going haywire now. Should you have told him sooner? Was it your fault? Were you not obvious enough? Of course he wouldn’t actually ever pick you, who were you after all? He had so many better choices, someone he would be proud to have by his side. You were never enough, you had always known then why did it hurt so much?

“You can stop blaming yourself now.”

Minho’s sweet voice tinged with sternness infiltrated your thoughts as you saw him take a seat beside you on the patio bench. You took deep breaths, trying to hold your emotions.

“You once told me it was okay to cry and let out my feelings in front of you because you’d never judge me for it. Tonight I ask the same of you. I think you’ve tortured yourself enough.”

An exhausted sigh followed by a stream of tears finally escaped you as you let your emotions wash over you and rest your head on Minho’s shoulder. Never had you ever thought that someone other than Chan would ever be able to comfort you, least of all Minho.

Minho wasn’t the most expressive person, even if you could swear that he was the one who felt the most emotions-the most hurt, the happiest, the most excited and even the angriest. You knew that he checked his emotions so damn much because sometimes they drove him, in his words, insane. While you knew he had your back as did, you his, he wasn’t your closest friend. You had the least amount of memories with him, you both were a weird bunch to be honest.

“This was bound to happen one day then why does it hurt so much?”

You didn’t even think he heard your whisper but he surprised you, not that you even expected a reply.

“Because feelings can’t be helped and you felt too many of them for just one person all your life.”

You buried your face in his shoulders as your cries turned into silent sobs and his arms tightened around you. You could swear it was the safest you’d felt in a while, dare you say like the comfort of a home and you wondered why Minho had never held you before for you swore his hug was soothing.

“I think it’s better this way.”

Your words prompted him to make distance so as to look at your face but you weren’t ready to look at his face, afraid of his judgement.

“He’s perfect in every sense and he seeks perfection in every sense while I can never be even close to perfection nor have I ever strived to be. You know those main characters of a movie who’s rich, good looking, charming, got a gorgeous troublesome ex but somehow ends up with a character that’s completely opposite of them? Chan is that main character to me. I think that even if I confessed to him and he had accepted me I’d always be anxious, trying my best to keep him in my life, make sure he’d never grow bored of me, be his perfect other half and that would’ve ultimately killed the person within me that he liked, or if ever liked.”

You gave a bitter smile at your fate and walked away from the bench while staring at the moon that looked so pretty yet unattainable, just like Chan. So close yet so far.

“He never deserved you any way. You deserve so much better and more than he could give you.”

You let out a sarcastic scoff at Minho’s words as you felt him coming closer to you.

“And who said that?”

“I’m saying that. Changbin says that. Heck, even Chan’s minions know that. If this isn’t enough for you, then all those roses in your locker say that.”

You were sure there was a frown on your face at his reply. Maybe Minho was more delusional than you because no way in hell so many people would ever think that way. You appreciated his efforts to make you feel better but he didn’t have to lie to your face. All of a sudden, you felt his fingers on your jaw, pulling you to face him as you stood wide-eyed in surprise.

“You never noticed these things because you were so busy noticing what Chan needed. You never noticed those roses and letters in your locker because you were focused on his; you rejected all prom dates because you were busy moping as he picked his date; you never noticed how the entire college stoped to look back at you as you entered the campus because you were always focused on what Chan was saying. You never noticed how much I love you because you were busy loving him.”

The only words that managed to knock your breath out after this sudden proximity between you two were the last few words that escaped from him as his eyes softened at your now misty ones while his fingers kept caressing your cheeks as if to ground you to the present.

“Minho!”

And a soft whisper of his name was all you could manage to let out. You were sure that your heart had pretty much skipped an entire rhythm right now. How could he be in love with you? He never even gave any signs. He was always so distant that you even thought he disliked you when you first spoke to him. He rested his head on yours as both of you closed your eyes, feeling an ecstasy that was never felt before.

“I’ve been in love with you ever since I first saw you in the college cafeteria. It was impossible to not notice you when you were practically glowing in my eyes; so pretty, had such a sweet giggle, spoke so passionately about how Toy Story 1 was the best movie and other sequels should’ve never been made, cried over a hurt kitten all in one day of knowing you; all these things made me want to wrap you in a blanket burrito and never let go.”

You let out a little chuckle as your grip tightened on his shirt and more tears escaped you.

“I wanted to approach you, tell you I wanted to date you but you were clearly not interested in anything romantic if it wasn’t with Chan so I settled for being friends. I thought it was better to have some of you than none of you. You said that Chan was the main character in your story but you were the main character in mine.”

This time you didn’t stop the sob that came out of you, thinking about how much you hurt him unintentionally. You also couldn’t stop thinking about a possibility of all that could’ve been if you took off the rose tinted glasses through which you saw Chan, even once.

“Maybe this is my punishment Minho. I kept hurting you, just as much as I kept getting hurt. I kept blaming Chan in my head but what’s the difference between him and I, when I did the same to you?”

He immediately shook his head and held you by the shoulders with so much resolve that it compelled you to stop rambling and listen to him.

“There’s a lot of differences between the two of you. You never gave me any mixed signals, you never played push and pull with my emotions, you always knew what you wanted; I was the one hurting because I couldn’t let go of you. Our situation is different than Chan and yours. How were you to know that I felt this way about you when I kept my distance? But you’ve to understand that I was reserved because I was scared about the intensity of my love towards you, even when we had so much space between us. What would’ve happened if I didn’t push myself out of the frame? Would that have been better for the two of us?

As you looked at his doe eyes that reflected the depth of his soul, you knew for sure, that this man right here would’ve been able to break through all your walls of false hopes and easily made you love him, perhaps more than you’ve ever loved anyone.

“Maybe!”

“Maybe!”

Both of you nodded and whispered in a silent agreement but refused to let of each other, needing to believe that this moment was true, that it was really happening.

“Then would you wait a little more for me?”

You could see the glimmer of hope in his eyes that he squashed with confusion, not wanting to get disappointed for hoping about something that he long gave up on without even trying but you were determined to not hurt and get hurt anymore. Maybe this was a new beginning for you, for him and for Chan.

“Wait for what?”

You took a deep breath and clutched his hand that was still unknowingly caressing the back of your neck.

“Please wait for me to get over my heartbreak and let me get to know you as something more than just friends. I know what I’m asking of you is a bit selfish but I don’t want to treat you as a rebound, as a replacement of what I couldn’t have, as an outlet of my heartbreak. I want us to be real and our beginning shouldn’t be formed on the basis of my negative baggage. You deserve the best and while I may not be the best, I want to be at least my best for you; for us.”

His beaded eyes shone with something that you couldn’t really place but you knew that you could travel to the end of the world if it meant that his eyes would shine like that.

“I’ve waited for you when there wasn’t any hope or reason to. Imagine how long I could wait for you now that you’ve given me a reason to.”

Yes, you were definitely a fool to not notice this pure hearted man who might not have stood by your side but always around you, silently protecting you and loving you without expecting anything in return. But what you did notice was how you liked this kind of crying where you couldn’t even stop smiling at each other, especially when his bunny smile looked so endearing on him.

And as you both wrapped each other around in an intimate lovers’ hold you finally felt contentment, as if the last piece of a huge complicated puzzle finally snapped in place. You pressed your nose in his shirt, letting his scent comfort you and could already feel yourself wanting to drift off to somewhere only you and him existed.

While it may have been harder to not love Chan, you think it may be criminal to not love Minho.

What you both didn’t notice was a pair of eyes in the corner of the yard, observing you two since the beginning, overwhelmed but feeling a crack in his heart that he never even imagined he would. Were new beginnings supposed to make your heart twist like that?

Hard To Love

©stayinhellevator2023: Please don’t repost, translate or copy my work on any other platform.


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1 year ago

So I guess I'll be writing a Bang Chan angst fic after I'm done w/ the bet series.

on a side note, I really need to finish that Seungmin fic. It's been on pause for two months now.

Ths will be after the others are released I swear


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