3 Am Writing - Tumblr Posts

Made me reconsider my role in this universe what the shit

would you still love me if i was a worm?

3 am thought

It's kinda sad to think about the fact that all this time, I've been in love with you believing you loved me, it was all in my head.

3 am thoughts

In life there are those who are meant to love, and those who are meant to be loved, I loved you with every fiber of my existence, every piece of my soul, but alas that was my only purpose to you, you loved the attention, not me. you were meant to be loved, and I thought I was too, but as it turns out I wasn’t, I’m meant to love others because I can’t love myself, and I don’t blame you for not loving me because, in the end, I am too broken to be lovable.

3 am thought

You introduced yourself and I forgot my name, the more time I spent with you the more I forgot about myself. Until one day I looked up and saw a stranger in the mirror who looked a lot like who you wanted me to be.

Once he was ready rei leand in and touched his lips to kai's softly

Then he pulled back fast when the other boy stirred and opened his eyes

"I'm not asleep you know" and rei felt his face heat up "I-I know I was just um-"

"Just say you want to kiss me "Kai said that then pulled rei and crashed their lips together

Rei felt his heart skip a beat and light headed but after a moment melted into the kiss and pushed back against the other In search for more of his lips.

Kai smiled into the kiss when rei kissed him back ,when they parted the Chinese blader was breathing heavily while Kai did not look that affected other than how his pink eyes were glowing brightly , rei couldn't bring himself to look away from the other boy "y-your eyes they're glowing"he said mesmerized then reached out his hand and cupped his face in his palm and stared deep into the lights that seemed to be dancing in the pink they were truly beautiful "am I feaking you out rei? Are you finally afraid of me " Kai whispered softly not braking eye contact with the yellow eyes

Rei looked at him then he roamed his eyes around the other's face then settled back onto his eyes "never" was all he said before softly pressing their lips together for another long soft kiss when he pulled back he said "there is no way that you could ever make me afraid of you , you're not getting rid of me that easily " kai's eyes widened a little then softened and he chuckled "wouldn't even dream of that " then he leand his head on the black haired boy's shoulder and with a murmur that rei could barely hear "don't , please don't let me drag you down with me "

Rei looked at the other then wrapped his arms around him"I would gladly go wherever you go " he said back then he felt Kai sigh then shake his head "no , it's not what you think rei, I'll break you, and it's sooner than what we both want it to be " Kai then clinged to his shirt "what do you mean? Kai? What is it?" He gently pushed Kai back to face him "tell me what's wrong "

But Kai was refusing to look at him now turning his gaze away "please"rei added then the Russian looked at him then he opened his mouth and closed it "I_ rei ... I " Kai tried talking then stopped and looked to the side again "Kai please just tell me I promise I can take it " he put his hand on kai's face and turned it towards him "can you? " Kai said but he sounded in pain like what he's thinking of is hard to say "yes" said rei still holding the other's face in his hands

"I'm dying" the Russian closed his eyes as he said that "what!! " Rei was shocked to say the least suddenly all that was happening made sense why Kai was constantly tired why he stopped acting normal why sometimes seemed paler than usual why he more than once woke up to the other vomiting in the joind bathroom why he hade those fainting episodes and lost his vision gradually

"Yes , I knew a while ago but I can't hide it anymore " Kai said and tried to pull away from rei but instead rei pulled him to his chest and said " look I

I'm sorry I love you but I'd much Rathar have something than nothing so don't try to leave me I want to spend whatever days we have left by your side and with you so please Kai let me have this otherwise you will really break me " he said in a rush and tightened his arms around the other he felt tears run down his face *god please don't take him away please * he thought as he buried his face in kai's shoulder Kai stayed silent for a while but the softly added "I love you too " and hugged the Chinese blader back

-so basically I don't know where this came from or why but I wrote it at 3am and now I want the beyfandom to suffer with me