Abuela - Tumblr Posts
alma and her children
1 day
5 years
50 years
abuelita
My mother sent me four pictures of her mothers hands, Hands smoothed down by almost a century of living. She looks so much smaller than I can ever remember. When did so much time pass? I lived with closed eyes for so long and let years blend into one another. Now I’m sleeping beside the clock with tears in my eyes, Whispering to the hours like a lover that doesn’t want to stay, ‘Please, just a little longer. That’s all I’m asking.’ Her hands look fragile, bruised but beautiful. The skin looks soft and borrowed, Like wearing your older brothers jacket that’s just a little too big. She doesn’t know she’s magic. She doesn’t know, but we do. Her hands built the love th us at we take shelter below, If you leave, what will we do when it rains? Her hands. They used to tie clumsy ponytails in my hair with tape and bread ties. Her hands are the reason each time I smell cilantro, I feel like I’m home. They wrote broken English birthday cards to me for a quarter of a century. I saved every one. ‘Keisy, 10.00. No cigerate. Abuela loves you mucho mucho.’ Sometimes I bought cigarettes, but it was the guiltiest 6 dollars I ever spent. Her hands attached to the arms that held me as a little girl when i would run down the hall to sleep in her bed. They were as comforting then as they were when 20 years went by and I was creating my own nightmares. Her hands have held the phone to her ear each time I called for almost three decades. She told me it would be okay no matter what I told her. She loved me without condition, Anything from heartbreak to heroin. Nothing could change that. My Abuela, Constant as a northern star. She said it would be okay and even if it didn’t seem like it at the time, It became so. It is. How can she not know she’s magic? I must remember her hands for all they’ve done. They never built skyscrapers or painted a masterpiece, But neither of those could compare to what they have created. I wonder if she remembers what I felt like to touch my grandfather’s cheek for the first time. God, so much time has passed without our permission. I know it will not slow, no matter how desperate the crack in our voices sound. It is such a miracle that your life and mine have happened together, 90 more years would never be enough. I knew I would never be prepared, and I never will be. I will never forget the beauty her hands created, It lives inside of me each day. Its been all around since before my memory. There must be something wrong with the pictures, I guess. She looks so tiny, But I can’t ever remember her being an inch under ten feet tall.
Protector
When it was the time to tell Luisa the story of her Abuelo, Alma totally didn't expected her to ask why they were forced to leave their home. And she totally didn't expect Luisa to became so worried about it.
Alma gently knocked on the nursery green door with her free hand before coming in. Her nieta was sitting on her bed, tapping her feet on the floor. She turned her head, as she heard the sound of opening door.
"Abuela!" She smiled in all her teeth and jumped off her perfectly maded bed, trowing the blanket on the floor. "Today I will become a big girl!" She crossed her arms proudly, then pulled Alma's dress, leading her to the center of the room.
Alma put the candle on the nightstand then gigged weakly into her fist, patting her nieta. "Of course you will." She started to bend to put the blanket back, but Luisa was ahead of her, quickly throwing bedsheet where it supposed to be. Blanket lied with the bunch of lumps, so Alma fixed it, then sat and patted the spot next to her, asking Luisa to sit down. The little girl climbed on the bed, without taking her eyes off the candlelight. "This is the candle of the family Madrigal." Alma started her explanation, pointing on the wax with a butterfly pattern.
"Is it where is magic coming from?" Luisa asked, staring at Alma in spellbound with her big brown eyes.
She noded, letting out a weak sigh. "Yes, that's right." For a moment she kept silent, watching at the playful flame, before specifying. " Do you want to hear the story behind it?"
Luisa looked like she was about to shine in adoration. "Yes, please!" She clasped her fingers in front of her, begging to hear this story. Of course, Isabela and Dolores probably told her that Alma was going to tell a really fascinating story before her ceremony. But as it was put in the rules, they couldn't tell what exactly happened back then, thirty-six years ago. Honestly, Alma would prefer to explain it by herself, because she was there, she knew exactly what happened. Even if she would never tell the whole story, because it would just make everyone scared.
Alma looked away, glancing at the Camilo's and Mirabel's cribs "Many years ago, when my three babies were just born, your Abuelo Pedro and I were forced to leave our home...."
"Why?" Alma shuddered as Luisa cuted her off.
"What do you mean?" Alma reasked unsurely, looking down at her frowning nieta. Why their babies were born? Why there were three babies?
"Why did you have to run away?" Luisa bited her lip, pulling her knees closer, twisting the golden ribbon in her hair, strictly eyeing Alma.
She let out a harsh sigh, she wasn't expecting to hear this question from a five-years-old girl, neihter Isabela, nor Dolores were worried about this. "Bad people forced us to run away." She sighed harshly, leaning to the wall. "But they found your Abuelo." She did her best to not let her voice crack.
Luisa's upper lip trembled, her eyes, still wide opened, now quickly filled with tears. Alma froze for a moment, not knowing what to do when her nieta sobbed into her birthday white clothes. Yes, it wasn't what she expected by telling the story of Pedro's sacrifice.
"Luisa, mi dulce, you'll ruin your dress." Alma begged, pulling Luisa's head up, then she put a soft smile on her face. "What's wrong?" Luisa had to calm down before her ceremony, no one would like to see a child with flowing snot.
"What if.." Her nieta sobbed hiccupping. "What if bad people'll find us?" She squeezed her own hands. "Like Abuelo?"
Alma frozed for a moment, it was her biggest fear, buried deep under her skin after so many years, forgotten in the insomniac night when she was hugged her children to her chest, too scared that if she would let go of them they would leave her just like Pedro did. Fear that never stopped, no matter what. They had giant mountains around to protect them, but Alma could never stop thinking what would happen if they'll find the way inside. Sometimes she caughted herself climbing mountains to see if there were any cracks or ways to enter Encanto. At nights Alma leaned against her door, looking at the medallion with a photo of Pedro, praying him to protect their home.
Still, she put her hand on Luisa's shoulder, looking into her tearful eyes. "That's why we were given our miracle. It'll protect us from any threats." She promised, trying to look a confident, as possible, even if deep inside she wanted to cry as well, as she thought about it. It was Alma's care, she had to deal with it on her own. And Luisa was a child, right now her main priority is to use her gift for Encanto, helping her family.
"But what if something will happen?" Luisa trew her hands into the air. "If bad people will find us..." She squeezed her azure blanket. "Will they hurt Papi, or mami, or Mira, or..." She kept listing her entire family, fingering her fingers, her voice became more desperate with every name.
"Luisa." Alma ripped her off roaring, making Luisa wince. "The miracle will protect us." Her voice sounded way harsher than Alma intended, but she couldn't help it. Thoughts of what would happen quickly leaded her to the edge, she didn't want to think what would happen if the miracle would fail to protect them, she started to shake as she imagined her hijos y nietos lying and bleeding in the cold red river. Alma took a deep breath to calm herself down, clenching her wrinkled hands into fists so hard, that her knuckles turned white. "Lo siento, perdí la calma." She closed her eyes for a second. "Our magic'll protect us, prometo."
Luisa pursed her lips, still didn't seem to be assured. She lowered her head, whispering weakly. "O-okay." She looked at the candle again, fixing her bun, trying to not burst into tears again. "What's my gift?"
Alma gigged softly. "I don't know, but whatever your gift would be, it would be just as special, as you." She put her hand on her nieta's cheek. Luisa looked into her eyes, pursing her lips, before she smiled awkwardly a second before the alarm clock signaled that it was time for them to go.
****
Isabela said that this story was very cool and interesting. But the only thing that Luisa felt is how something really heavy pressed her to the ground. She knew that Abuela said that miracle would protect them, b-but... What if it wasn't enough? Would it mean that Luisa would never see her padres or hermanas again? What if evil people would take them as they took Abuelo. Luisa didn't know where Abuelo Pedro was, but she heard that no one ever would be able to find him. And it was so scary! Why did they have to be evil in the first place? Wouldn't it be easier if everyone would just become friends? Like in the Encanto! Even if Abuela promised that no one will hurt them, she looked so scared and sad when Luisa asked about it. Maybe she was upset that Luisa distrusted their magic, but Luisa's heart just was racing too fast.
Luisa smiled nervously as papi ruffled her hair. "Oh, my little girl is already so big." He whispered in adoration, patting her spine.
Luisa shrunk, looking down. She pursed her lips, thinking of what will happen if evil people would find them.
"Ohh, are you scared?" Isabela gigged softly, teasing Luisa. She looked down, ears tucked in. Then she winced as she realised that something appeared on her head. Luisa looked up and saw how mami and papi swooned with delight, Isa crossed her arms confidently. Luisa reached for her hair and groped something, that really felt like a flower. "It's from the nerves." Her hermana exclaimed proudly.
Part of Luisa that was worried about her gift lowered its tone, but the other voice, that appeared after the talk with Abuela became louder. Strict voice, screaming that if something will happen to Isa, she would be all alone, taken by strangers. Her hermana was so small, right now she was almost the same height with Luisa, and she didn't even mention her hermanita Mirabel, who was so tiny, that Luisa really wondered if babies are really supposed to be that small. She felt little tears falling down her face, immediately buried in her mami's dress. Everyone assured her that she would get an amazing gift. Luisa looked up to her family, thinking if her future gift could protect them. She wanted everyone to be safe, please, let them be safe! Luisa would never forgive herself if something would happen to her Abuela, mami, papi, tios, hermanas, primos. To anyone. They had to stay protected.
She kept repeating those words inside her head when she was staring at the abnormally long patio corridor.
****
Alma watched as Luisa touched the flower wreath on her head before walking forward. Her small, unsteady steps on the red tiles sounded too loud. Luisa walked unusually slowly, Alma could pay less attention to her than to her sisters, but she knew that Luisa always had a gushing energy, some even said that she was the most restless child that Encanto ever knew. And yet now she was unusually frightened, either because of the gift ceremony or because of their conversations. Alma really hoped that this was the first option. Magic would protect them, it has to protect them, it's why they were given a miracle at the first place. Alma didn't want to the what might happen if it would fail. She wouldn't admit that her nieta's worries touched her heart, making her heart beating way louder and faster that it should be. They couldn't repeat Pedro's fate. Please, don't let anyone be lost as he was.
Luisa shuffled her feet nervously as she stood in front of Alma, who winced as she was lost in her thoughts, them shesmiled tenderly, asking her nieta. "Will you use your gift to serve our community?"
Luisa bit her lip before furrowing her brows determinedly. "Yes." She promised as Alma lowered the candle into her hands. This look in her eyes was somehow familiar, almost making her shrink in painful memories, she swallowed a nasty lump in her throat.
Luisa chuckled as the warmth of the candle touched her palms. Then she turned to her door, her movements became much more confident, maybe that was part of the magic. The patio lit up with a golden glow that emanated from the door as she touched the doorknob.
Alma flinched, jumping back as something fell from the sky. Was it... cobblestone? Why was it in the sky at all?"
"Luisa!" Julieta and Agustin screamed almost in sync as the stone was about to fall on their hija.
She looked up and raised her hand, catching a boulder that was twice her size, if not more, as if it were nothing. A glow from behind her flooded the door, creating the image of Luisa's lifting a barbell. Super strength?
"We have a new gift!" Alma announced proudly, placing her hand on her nieta's back. Surely, this gift would be one of the most, if not the most useful to help Encanto. The courtyard immediately erupted in applause, Luisa put down the stone and bent her arms at the elbows, looking at them adoration.
Then she turned to Alma, smiling broadly, raised her head and put her hand on her chest. "I will protect my family." She promised in a whisper, nodding confidently. Alma could not help feeling how tears of proud tenderness filled her eyes. Yes, Luisa was a five years old child, but seeing this determination in her eyes really made Alma believe her words somewhere deep inside.
Getting wiser
Chapter 6. Sugarcube
"...So then I removed an entire street to find this necklace." Luisa was telling one of the stories that happened at work, trying to lift the mood.
Mirabel let out an unhappy laugh, staring at her cup with hot chocolate in it. Camilo slightly hit her spine. "It's gonna be okay." He smiled, sitting in front of her. "Have you seen your face?" Then he turned into Mirabel to show her blue expression.
She sobbed, almost spilling the drink. "C-can you stop using your gift?" She murmured, Isabela took her handkerchief and wiped off the tears from Mira's face.
"Maybe you were just so cool that you didn't need one?" Luisa assured her with a smile, patting her head. Her hermanita had been so sad ever since her failed gift ceremony. She was sad too; why would magic left Mirabel, especially after creating the door, just to leave her with empty hands?
The youngest girl just looked down, staring at the light-brown drink.
"You should drink it," Dolores whispered, fixing a broken strand. "It's going to cool down."
"O-okay." Mirabel sobbed again, bringing the cup to her lips slowly. Then she took a sip and winced.
"Is something wrong?" Isa asked worriedly, putting her palm on Mira's cheek.
"It's not sweet." She murmured, placing the cup on the ground. "I want more sugar."
Camille beamed, throwing his hands into the air. "We can have a sugar cube eating contest!" He giggled as Dolores ruffled his hair.
"Sounds fun." She nodded, winking at Isabela.
Luisa chuckled, looking at everyone's confident faces, ready to do their best. "I'll bring the sugar." She promised, quickly jumping on her feet. "Be back, before you can even blink." She winked.
Okay, sugar cubes... She could find it. Luisa ran as fast as she could, not wanting to keep her hermanas and primos waiting. Just as she was about to enter the dining room, she heard Abuela's voice.
"I don't think he'll go back."
Luisa tensed up, listening carefully. She took a step to the side, hiding behind a wall. It seemed like she wasn't supposed to be in here. Were they talking about...
"What do you mean, mami? Bruno would never leave his family without any reason. He loves us." That sounded like mami. Yes, this was a talk about Tío Bruno, who disappeared the next morning after Mira's ceremony, adding even more troubles to an already problematic situation. Luisa was on her mom's side in this argument, even if her Tío was always somewhere in his tower, rarely talking to them, he was still very kind and ready to help wherever Luisa would ask him for advice. She couldn't believe that he would ever leave them.
"I asked him for a vision..." Abuela started but was immediately interrupted by a thunder strike. Luisa winced from a loud noise.
"You did what?" Tía Pepa shouted, and Luisa also heard that she probably kicked the floor, but it was hard to tell without actually seeing her.
"Pepa, calm down." Abuela groaned. Luisa thought that if she were her tía, she would be mad too.
"Mamí, you know how Bruno dislikes making visions." Tía Pepa roared; there were more lighters. "Excessively to his family." Also truth, Luisa never understood why, but tío Bruno seemed to really dislike his gift, seeing the future was such a cool ability. Yes, sometimes things that he saw were bad, but it wasn't his fault. She knew that the propercy that he gave to Dolores was bad. Luisa didn't know what was in it, but her prima was crying after getting it. But he had good visions too, like that one for Isabela. Again, Luisa didn't know what was in there, but her hermana was very happy about it.
"I had to make sure that Mirabel wouldn't do anything with magic," Abuela explained, sighing harshly.
What did she mean? Luisa bit her lip, trying to understand it. What could her hermanita do with the magic? She didn't think they could do anything with it in the first place.
"So now you're blaming my daughter?" Papí shouted firmly.
"I'm just saying that he saw something so awful, so he decided to run away."
Luisa took a deep breath, trying to calm herself. No, tío Bruno would never leave them, he's just... Missing, he had to come back soon.
"He is not!" Luisa saw another flash of light from lightning in the darkness.
"We should keep an eye on Mirabel." Abuela shrugged off Tía Pepa, as she kept explaining. "We can't be sure if magic would be safe."
There was more screaming. Luisa covered her ears with her palms, leaning against the wall. Couldn't grownups stop acting so mean to each other? She pursed her lips, listening to endless blaming from the other side of the thin wall. Luisa knew that Abuela was always right... But it could be true; she didn't make any sense. Mirabel was so nice; she would never hurt them. She was the sweetest child Luisa ever knew. She couldn't do anything bad to magic.
What if Abuela sent Mirabel away? Luisa gasped, tearing up. No, it couldn't happen, Abuela loved her, and she wouldn't do anything like that. Or at least Luisa hoped so. There was a sound of broken glass, it seemed like adults were really mad at each other. The good thing is that Dolores was in her room, she didn't deserve to hear that.
Luisa took a deep breath, wiping away the tears from her eyes. She had to leave; she wasn't sure if she could handle even more of this shouting, she already felt sick in her stomach.
She left as quietly as possible, hoping that no one would notice her. Well, grownups seemed to be so lost in their talk that they wouldn't pay attention even if Luisa would break one of Casita's walls. Her heart was racing, pulsating in her chest so loudly that Luisa thought that she might become deaf. Casita helped her get upstairs. And she was probably just seeing things in the darkness, but she could swear that there were cracks in the wall that disappeared as soon, as Luisa tried to look at it.
She ran into her prima's room, slamming the door as fast as possible, then leaned against it, looking up.
"What took you so long?" Camilo groaned, she looked down and saw him with crossed arms. "And where are the sugarcubes?"
Luisa giggled awkwardly, scratching her head. "Sorry, I didn't find them."
Siempre me dirijo a este año como uno de los más difíciles y sobre todo lo llamo “El año de perdidas”. Cuando recién empezó el año, conocí a una chica, decidí tomar actitudes que nunca había hecho para mejorar personalmente, sobretodo en una relación. Funcionaron por un tiempo. El mes de Marzo conocí a la persona con quien mejor he tenido conexión en mi vida, nuestra alma vibraban al par desde el minuto uno, fuimos magia. Pero a finales de ese mes perdí a mi perrita Lola, ahí empezó uno de los peores momentos en mi vida, desde que enfermo y dependió de uno para poder vivir, por más que se esforzó en estar con nosotros, no logramos darle más tiempo y hubiera sido egoísta hacerlo. Tuve la oportunidad después de ese mes, de que mi mamá por primera vez se llevara bien con alguna pareja mía, de conocer lugares y personas cercanas a ella. Me tome un descanso de la escuela y empecé a vivir un poco. Quizás la falta de comunicación, los problemas que arrastrábamos sobre nosotras, consumieron las ganas, pero no el cariño que nos teníamos.
A finales de Junio empezó la peor pesadilla de mi vida. Mi abuela había enfermado y la iban a operar, durante el tiempo que estuvo despierta, siempre estaba de lo más feliz, cotorreando, dándola toda por seguir con nosotros. Pero una vez entrando a quirófano ya no la volví a ver sonriendo. Eso acabo conmigo, sentí que nadie entendía por lo que estaba pasando, el miedo, el odio y la impotencia de no poder hacer algo. Me aleje de todo, me quede donde podía ser apoyo, me fui de todo lo demás. Cuando crees empezar a superar todo, llega un amigo que te arrebata las ganas, te nubla el juicio y solo callas por meses, te limitas a beber, fumar, trabajar y a comer a medias. Si no hubiera sido suficiente la vida decide quitarme a mi gatito el más pequeño, dejándome una vez más sin aliento y sin ganas. Me perdí en su totalidad, di la peor versión de mí, era terca, egoísta e hija de puta. Tantas fueron mis ganas de sentirme estable y segura en un lugar que me aferre a la idea sobre nuestra magia, siendo una hija de puta y perdiendo la conexión inicial que teníamos. Y es curioso como llego a la vida de las personas siendo el ser más libre, comprensible, empático, risueño pero siempre termino con esta doble cara.
Siguiendo los mismos patrones que por años he tenido, que los días en terapia han sido de los más difíciles y sanadores en estos meses, que durante este tiempo solo no aleje a mis mejores amigos y a mi PB. Intento regresar a la vida de las personas con más de un perdón, con una disculpa de corazón, intentando arreglar lo que ya he destruido, sin respetar como ellos se han sentido o que han hecho para mejorar sobre sus vidas y que mi ausencia no les pegue tanto en la vida.
Quizás mi problema es que pienso que soy un pilar de las personas a mí alrededor y que cuando yo hago mi desmadre ellos me lo aguantaran por el simple hecho de que soy YO.
Pero ¿Quién soy yo?
GUYS, ARTISTS, ENTHUSIASTS. IN THE FANDOM WIKI THERES A CHART WITH ALL THE SKIN TONES AND COLOR PALATES OF THE CHARACTERS. NO MORE PEOPLE COMPLAINING ABOUT WHITE WASHING. SPREAD THE WORD GUYS. I HOPE THIS HELPS AND KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK <3
