And Yes I Know - Tumblr Posts

It’s Odd, Thinking of Myself at That Age

It’s odd to see you with a passion,

A hobby honed in normal fashion.

It’s odd to see you with such cheer,

And I wonder if it’s hiding fear.

You speak of school and say it’s boring,

But mostly good, just a few things annoying.

You give out details I didn’t ask,

But not as if it’s some arduous task.

We’re not the same. You’re young; I’m old.

But when I was nine, I wish someone’d told

Me that I could speak with disregard

To feelings, norms in high regard,

When they were around, my thoughts were safe,

My hate, my sorrow would never chafe

Against them such that I would fear

To tell them my want to disappear.

I had “reached out” even at nine,

Gave up in time, two words: “I’m fine.”

—that’s all that I could think of then,

Depressed before the age of ten.

I see you now, and think of this

And worry I may be remiss

In not prying, re-asking if you’re okay,

So you know I’d listen to what you’d say.

But what if you had never thought

Not even once, about dying?

Killing yourself?

Disappearing?

I wouldn’t want to worry you,

And you seem content with what you do.

Perhaps you are simply nine,

And need not hide behind, “I’m fine.”

the logo for my doujinshi is now done

it took me like 2 min, the default font was close enough lol