Anyway I'm Rambling - Tumblr Posts

grandma's house 11:01 am

random rant I also did on priv twt so copied from there (what no way)

Just a heads up I don't like when people steal my whole Internet/irl personality! Ik I'm cool (ikr surprisingly) but I don't need clones of me or people stealing my usernames on my fyp! and please stop defending me with my own problems, I don't need others to stick up for the arguments I have dug myself into, and don't bring up past drama I've had with other people, more or less tag me in a post about it. I understand if your frustrated with my views, but that's me defending a problem that I myself have dealt with! :)

posting this here cause a few moots can see it! (Talking about arguments I got in about the Shelby situation, I support Shelby 100%, I got Into a few arguments with stans but I've moved past, people keep dragging me in and making my the excuse)

Beginning is me talking about some things I've seen on twt.. be your own person y'all find your own stuff don't be weird and copy someone's whole life <33

guys help my mom is worried i inherited her chronic illness and she wants me to get tested for it (im scared guys im literally crying here)

Thinking about the Wuwa oc and Jiyan...

I fw their dynamic...

the one-shot is now 12k and they've only just kissed... uhm, whoops?

this is also literally unedited, like raw first draft and i know i'm gonna wanna add so much detail to make it more coherent so this is gonna be so long, it's ridiculous, so uhm, yeah, whoops.

still nowhere near done, i've still got the smutty bits to get to and knowing me, they're gonna be long, i wrote a 5k smut piece once (no plot, just smut) so i dread to imagine what this will be

someone save me from my whore-ing

what would y'all say if i said that i'm currently working on a very long luke alvez (from criminal minds) x reader oneshot, like currently standing at 8k words and i'm nowhere near done with what i want from this one-shot. what would y'all say?

i've been having a very rough, depression filled week and have been watching criminal minds a lot bc i'm SO CLOSE TO FINISHING and i'm simply a whore for luke alvez like, i would let that man do unspeakable things to me. him and frank castle are my motivation to go the gym (which i have been doing despite feeling like complete crap) and i just am literally writing so much for this man. it's angsty, it's fluffy, it's whore-ish, it's self-indulgent. it wasn't meant to be this long but it was all over for me when the reader says that she would do 'unspeakable things' to luke bc he's taking care of her while she's drunk off her head (don't worry, they don't do anything while she's drunk). i can't be stopped. it's 3am and i need to go to sleep and that's the only reason i'm stopping but like, do i just keep this to myself or do i share my absolutely whore-ish fantasies?

"What if my friends secretly hate me?" What if they pray for you before bed? What if they hear a song come on and it makes them immediately think of you? What if when times are hard for them, they close their eyes and think of the memories they've shared with you? What if they study your face closely to see how you're feeling? What if they listen to your stories? What if they smile when you text them first? What if

No thoughts, just:

Kartein jumping into a fight with a top 10, solely to distract them from Kayden; Kayden putting Kartein's safety above his own🥹

Very interesting that despite the presence of Pluton and 3 other top 10s, the core dialogue and mutual concern for each other revolves around these 2 only

Kartein's thoughts are always in the forefront when it comes to Kayden; both during and post the fight. Interestingly, Kartein is the only one Kayden visibly shows concern for right now, despite Pluton and him being equally at a disadvantage against top 10s

I wonder if I'm reading too much into it, but even so, NOTHING about these two is straight😭

I am a firm believer that Stan and Mabel are not the "dumber" twins. They just aren't as interesting in 'nerd' stuff like Ford and Dipper are.

Stan was able to rebuild like 90% of the portal with only the 1 of the journals, most likely having to teach himself advanced mathematics and scientific theories to even understand what the thing is. It barely took him a few weeks to get the portal up and running after getting the other two journals. Not to mention how he was able to create a business and keep people entertained at his day job. The man is smart.

Mabel is able to create sweaters at the drop of a hat. If you don't know anything about knitting, it takes a lot of math and planning to be able to make a sweater, and Mabel is constantly making them for everyone around her. She made a full 2 act puppet shows with musical numbers and sets and well made puppets in like a week. She may not be interested in the 'nerd' stuff like Dipper, but she's creative and thinks in innovative ways.

Both of them are amazingly charismatic. They can make friends and bond with those around them easily, whether it be for business purposes like Stan or simply childlike positivity like Mabel.

They aren't dumb.

it is a slow and dampening torture when no one will listen to you. hydraulic press on your tongue. a whistle that screams through your blood. when-and-if you explode, you are treated as if radioactive; others flinch in shame.

are you sick? are you sad? are you actually in pain? it is selfish to be attention-seeking, right. they will tell you that it is "brave" to ask for help, but when you ask for help, they'll suggest a hotline. the hotline will suggest you see a doctor before disconnecting. the doctor will suggest you drink more water and lose weight.

are you asking him to put in more effort? to plan dates? to actually-clean around the house? to be genuinely interested in your life? someone tells you that you should never beg to be loved, but if you leave him, they'll ask why you didn't try talking it over first. if you leave because he doesn't wash the dishes, you're being unfair. if he cheats, you should have treated him better. you're a nag and a witch and now you're ruined goods.

are you struggling? how's that rent check. well, keep hustling! it'll be okay slapped in a bumper sticker over your face. good luck, babe.

at a certain point you stop trying to shout. there's no point anyway.

Idk what are the chances of this reaching out to anon, but I gotta try. I feel the same way tbh, and it's def ok.

I was born a cis guy, but masculinity kinda also feels like a performance. One I'm not willing to play with completely tho, so I prefer to have pieces of it. But I do sometimes wanna be on a more fem side of things, sometimes neither. It doesn't really matter.

I ended up deciding that demi-boy sounds like a good enough label for my experience. And I felt like a fraud for a while, because of the same reasons as you. But we shouldn't be.

Yes we're passing in society, yes we have more privileges. It doesn't mean you're not allowed to be you. I still call myself trans, support other trans people and rights, etc. Gender just be weird like that, but it's what makes it great too, I think.

i feel trans in a way that i am a cis woman who wishes she was born male and had transitioned to female. does that make sense at all??? i don’t feel tied to femininity as a birthright, but rather as a performative aspect of my identity, though one that im happy to perform. i wish i was feminine through a more androgynous baseline. i feel like such a fraud for feeling this way because i know my life is easier in many ways as a cis person, but i don’t know what to make of my gender identity anymore. any thoughts or advice?

idk man just be a woman with a weird gender . its ok.