Artanis - Tumblr Posts

Something I noticed.

There are two characters in The Silmarillion that I'm aware of who are described as having a darkness in them before they actually even did anything.

There's Fëanáro, and Galadriel said it.

And there's Maeglin, and Itarillë said it.

... The thing is, both of them were also motherless - Fëanáro having never really known his, and Maeglin having lost his (and his father) through an incredibly tragic event.

I wonder if that "darkness" that Galadriel and Itarillë saw was simply trauma and not a darkness of character, but they were simply to inexperienced to tell the difference. (Itarillë might've also had the same thing, considering what happened to Elenwë.)

Jealousy

Pairing = none (hints of Finrod x Mairafinwë (OC)

Genre = General audiences

General ratings = angst & fluff

Content warnings = insecurities

Word count = 1,2k

Notes = Day 3 of @tolkienfamilyweek ! The prompt was ‘extended family’. Hope you enjoy!

When Artanis was born, people were awed at her resemblance to her grandmother, Indis. The same blond wavy hair, the same pale skin, the same blue eyes and heart shaped mouth. She was a beauty to behold and she knew it - was proud of it, even. But as she grew older, her ears started to bleed from comments made.

Mairafinwë was older. More mature. She looked like a carbon copy of Míriel Therindë, with Finwë’s eyes. The people who disliked (even hated, sometimes) Indis loved her. She was the reminder of the First Queen of the Noldor, and for some, the only one. Pale gray eyes, straight silver hair, a lovely smile blessing her face, Mairafinwë was considered the exemple. The one who elleth wished to be.

Artanis hated her. Hated how people compared her to her older cousin, how no matter what she did, some people prefered Mairafinwë over her. She was in a competition with someone who always won and she hated losing.

For a time, she found comfort in Írissë. They bonded over the feeling of not being enough in society’s eyes compared to their elder cousin. No matter what they did, people somehow thought Mairafinwë would have been better. She was older. Wittier. Prettier. At least, that was what people whispered.

But then, Artanis found herself alone again. Because when the first place of the competition is already taken, people look to the second one. And so, people began comparing her to Írissë. Artanis was witier, but Írissë funnier. Artanis was studious, but Írissë more carefree. Artanis stopped talking to Írissë. She hung out with her brothers or small group of friends, quietly drowning in her jealousy when Mairafinwë walked in the room and all eyes would turn towards her.

She was mortified when her father heard her complaining to one of her friends that people loved Mairafinwë more than her. He consoled her. Told her that yes, Mairafinwë was pretty, but that did not mean that she was lacking. It was simply because Mairafinwë went more outside to help her people, that she was the daughter of Fëanáro that she was more popular.

Artanis couldn’t help but wonder if people would have liked her more if she was her uncle’s daughter. Maybe then people would have talked about her in time with Mairafinwë. About how the two sisters were pretty equally, and witty too. She cried a bit that night, hating how emotional she was being.

~~~

Artanis and Írissë rekindled later on. It was awkward at first, the both of them unwilling to admit that they had let random ellon and elleth break their friendship apart. Instead of seeing Írissë as competition, Artanis saw her lovely cousin. The one who was beautiful, yes, but untamed and unapologetic. The one she became friends with years ago.

When Írissë came to her, looking like she had done something wrong, Artanis was intrigued. Her cousin was not often apologetic. Artanis understood why very quickly.

“I’m telling you, she is quite lovely.. she… I don’t know, she’s kind and collected and she enjoys joking around! I-.. we’re friends..” said Írissë about Mairafinwë, wringing her hands as she had trouble putting her thoughts into words.

“Friends? With her?” Artanis replied, betrayal crossing her face. Mairafinwë had always seemed mean to her, as she never did anything to stop people from comparing her to her cousins.

“Artanis… she.. she is-.. I met her some time ago and she was really kind, you know? I mean, I was really mean towards her, because I didn’t like her, but she was still calm and generous with her compliments! She said-“ Írissë choked on her emotions, her eyes becoming flooded with tears. “She said I was one of the most beautiful elleth she had ever seen. That- that my personality was refreshing.”

Írissë’s eyes begged Artanis to understand.

Artanis tried. She really did.

But she couldn’t.

~~~

Artanis spent her days in her home, sadness clinging to her like a leech. Her family did everything they could to cheer her up, in vain. She missed Írissë and yet, she could not go past the feeling of betrayal. She did not know what to do anymore. On top of that, Finrod was spending less and less time with her, preferring to go somewhere else, with someone else. He did not even tell her who it was that was stealing her brother away.

~~~

Artanis swore her heart broke when she saw that Finrod was walking hand-in-hand with Mairafinwë. He beamed at her as she laughed, her laugh sounding prettier than a bird’s song. First her best friend, now her oldest brother? Why did everyone prefer Mairafinwë over her? Why was she not enough? What did her cousin have that she didn’t?

Sadness was an emotion that Artanis was uncomfortable with. She didn’t like feeling her sadness. And so, sadness transformed into anger. Anger at Mairafinwë, for stealing everyone she loved away. Anger at Írissë and Findaráto for letting her. Anger at herself for not seeing it sooner.

Later on, when Findaráto left Mairafinwë to go back home, Artanis came out of her hiding spot to march towards her cousin. Mairafinwë looked at her surprised, but strangely, still smiled at her. Artanis was fuming.

“Who do you think you are?” Artanis started, emotions making her forget the speech she had prepared some time ago.

“Excuse me? I’m not sure I follow you-“

“Why do you want to make me miserable? Why are you trying to steal everyone I have, huh? I really don’t understand why people like you, you-you’re…!” Artanis said, stopping herself from insulting Mairafinwë as she noticed the compassionate look on her cousin’s face.

“Artanis.” Mairafinwë started, and something in her gentle voice made the blond calm down slightly.

“I am not trying to make you miserable. I am not trying to ‘steal’ anyone from you, and I am deeply sorry if I came across that way. I’ve heard from Írissë that people compare me to you often.” Artanis winced at the last sentence, a bit embarrassed but not really knowing why.

“That is unacceptable. You know, I was just like you once. I know how you feel.” She said, making Artanis frown. Mairafinwë smiled slightly at her cousin, taking her hand in hers.

“I see that you don’t believe me. Let me explain. I sculpt, just like my mother. In my debuts, people would often compare my work to my mother’s, saying that hers was better. Objectively, I knew they were right, but it still hurt. No matter how much I improved, my mother’s works were always better, prettier, more well done. And I began to resent my ammë for that. I felt guilty, though, for it was not her fault. She came to me one evening, tears in her eyes. Asked me why I never talked to her anymore. And I felt ashamed of myself. I explained everything that weighed on my heart, and she understood. From then on, anyone that compared my work to hers was banned from ever coming back to see our work.” Mairafinwë said, sometimes squeezing Artanis’ hand.

“I know it’s not exactly the same situation, but I think it’s the same moral. You shouldn’t let others’ mean comments bring you down, but if they still do, communicate. I’ve made it clear that it was abhorrent to compare me to you in such ways. I do not know you well, Artanis, but that doesn’t mean I wish for you to suffer.”

Artanis choked back a sob, willing the tears in her eyes to go back where they had come from. It was… reassuring in a way, to hear that Mairafinwë understood. She smiled at her older cousin, squeezing her hand.

It was the start of a friendship.

End notes : Reblogs and likes are always immensely appreciated!

Artanis help him! Ma'lash won't stop giving him swirlies and stealing his lunch money

Artanis wants to pet a weird dog

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Wanted to get back into my inking after a long time, work really got the best of me.

yes thoughts, head full

my part of trade with @duntoss !