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elusivecagedmockingbird

1 year ago

Lights Out, Words Gone

[yoongi x reader] [1.4k+ friends to lovers, light angst]

A/N: So, there was an attempt, by me. Heh. I'm just really trying to get back into creative writing. I used to enjoy writing, but no one told me that turning that into a career and years of writing newsletters and articles for corporate dulls the mind and at this point, even journaling feels like a chore. But if you found this fic and somewhat enjoyed it, I'm grateful.

-

It's ridiculous, you think to yourself. How can someone be easily disarmed by a smile?

One minute, you're furiously driving at 2 a.m. to fetch Yoongi from a dive bar—miles and hours from where you live so you're well within reason to cuss him out; the next, you're giggling next to him after he told you the lamest joke you've ever heard.

"Y/N, what did the full glass of water say to the empty glass of water?"

In no mood for his shenanigans, you slide the bottle of water you bought during the drive over, closer to him. Unperturbed, he continues with a grin, "You look drunk."

You let out an annoyed sigh. The joke doesn't even make sense, and yet, because it's Yoongi's gummy smile and his contagious giggles that echo across the empty chairs and fills the bar, your mood shifts.

Suddenly, you snort a laugh. Hearing your amusement, his giggles turn into hearty laughs, and you follow.

Yoongi catches his breath after a minute and fluffs his hair. Suddenly, he looks so soft and cuddly. You feel your breath winded.

Feeling compelled to break the silence, you tease, "Did you steal that joke from Jin?" You don't wait for an answer. You usher Yoongi out of the corner of the bar he hid himself in and he lets you push him out as he weakly argues, "Did not. I thought of it myself. I can make funny jokes too, you know." You hum in response, amused by the pout forming on his face.

-

Yoongi trudges straight to his bedroom as soon as you arrive in his place. You follow, wanting to at least make sure he's tucked in with a bucket on his side of the bed—a precaution, lest he hurls his guts in bed, which rarely happens. But better to be safe than sorry.

You eye Yoongi as he grabs a shirt from his drawer and take that as your cue to leave.

"Stay the night," his voice gravelly. You stop mid-journey out the door.

What.

"Uh, Yoongi—"

"It's too late to drive," he crosses the room and pulls your hand to take his shirt. "And if you think I'm letting you take the couch, I'm offended. Sleep here."

A beat passes. "It's not like we haven't shared a bed before," he winks.

Right. As if you'd forget. You remember all too well how Yoongi gets needy and cheesy when drunk—which is why you hesitate. You need to distance yourself before your feeling overwhelms you and make you do something you would regret.

"Remember hell weeks shared in Jin's fancy dorm room? You snored like a fucking berserk honking truck," he chuckles, probably remembering those younger versions of you whose only problems were exams and thesis defense.

The nostalgia hits you, and you quip, "Ya! I remember Jungkook and I pulling an all-nighter for all those times. It was actually you who loudly snored."

Yoongi erupts in soft gummy giggles as you playfully give him the stink eye.

-

Laying stiff beside him, you almost succeed in willing your mind to slip into dreamland when you hear comforters shuffling until you feel him closer to you.

"You awake?" he faces you. "I am now," you huff. You open your eyes to adjust to the dim room, the only light source coming from the street lamp post outside his bedroom window and the tiny static light of your charging phone on the bedside table.

"I just…" he starts, "I wanted to thank you for picking me up. The guys were either out of town or probably too deep in their sleep to hear their phones ring."

"Yes, well… I was on the other side of the town and deep in sleep when you called." You weren't sure what your point was. Probably wanted him to know that you know he definitely did not call anyone else but you tonight.

But of course, he knows that you know. He knows he can't bullshit you. Not when you used to spend every waking moment since you met in college, which was almost 24/7, since you barely slept then. Years of friendship synced you together—getting used to one's idiosyncrasies, being able to read each other across the room, and sharing the same opinion on all things you deemed important.

"And yet you still came. I'm surprised you actually picked up after weeks of radio silence."

Yoongi starts to pick at his nails, his anxiety peaking. Atuned to even his habits, your hands reach to envelop his and you rest your cheeks atop.

"I actually thought it was one of my booty calls," you joke. He doesn't laugh or react, so you turn serious, "I'm your friend, of course, I'll come get you."

Always.

You smile at him, "It actually wasn't a bother. Get some rest, Yoongi." Thinking you ended the conversation, he suddenly confronts you, "You say that but you suddenly cut me off. Why?"

Ah.

Now, you consider if he orchestrated the whole thing. Trying to corner you so he could finally confront you. It wouldn't be out of his character.

You unclasp your hands.

"I didn't cut you off," you lamely defend yourself and hope he lets it go.

Again, this is Yoongi who's calling you out. You can't evade him just like he can't bullshit you. So he holds out.

"Right. So you suddenly dodging my calls and missing weekly hangouts when I'm available to join, is what? Coincidence?" His voice remains calm, but you would miss how it sounds heavier if you hadn't known him for years. Each word is weighed down with pent-up emotion, and now those fueled words hit you like bricks.

"I've gotten busy. Everyone did after graduation." A half lie, half truth.

He shifts a bit closer to you. "You know, even in the dark, I can tell when you're lying, right? I may not see how your eyes get shifty, but your voice has that lilt at the end when you speak. Almost as if you're also trying to make yourself believe in your lie."

You can already feel the onset of a headache from your lack of sleep, but what's more pressing is how your heart dreads being this close to him again, even more so now that you're being called out and you have no excuse. At least nothing good enough to pass Yoongi.

As the minute passes, the silence thickens, and you feel yourself growing even more tired. It could be from the drive, lack of sleep, or that you just fucking had the most mentally-draining shift just hours before that you finally resigned with honesty. Besides, now that you take a glance at his curled-up form beside you, you admit that he, at least, deserves to know why you distanced yourself.

Yoongi has been your best friend for years—the one who made sure to look into your eyes as he encouraged you to take the extra classes because if you thought it would help you secure the job of your dreams, then he believed it would pay off in the end, and you needed to believe that, too.

Yoongi, who held your hand when you went through mental and emotional hurdles. You honestly believe you wouldn't be here now, living and breathing, had it not been for him.

If only the way you looked at him stayed the same, and how his hands felt in yours remained unnoticed, like those days when he held you as you hurled your guts at bar restrooms after chugging down cheap vodka and beers.

If only your affection towards Yoongi didn't root themselves in what you thought was your uninhabitable heart and grow its tendrils over the years of laughing, crying, and sharing even the most mundane moments with him.

And so you will be honest, but you don't know where to start other than offering an apology.

"I'm sorry, Yoongi. I fucked up," tears brim your eyes but you look at him. You let your repressed emotions out and they're coming out all at once that you're overwhelmed. But you need him to know

Yoongi doesn't respond but motions for you to continue. It's his turn to take your cold hand in his and warms it between his. And it is during this delicate moment that you let it out, "I seem to have fallen in love with you."

How cliche, you rebuke yourself.

You hear him let out a sigh. Out of relief or disappointment, you're unsure.

You shift your eyes to the window behind him and get a glimpse of the rising sun. The aura of the rising sun breaking the dark blue night sky.

You don't know how many seconds, minutes passed. Yoongi remains silent.

Oh god. Surely this can't be a good thing.

You should leave now. You pry your hands away, but before you could even leave the bed, Yoongi finally breaks his silence,

"Then I fucked up, too."

-

>> Read Lights Out, Words Spill

Tags :

bangtanwritershq missing yoongi hours bangtan fic

137 notes View Post

elusivecagedmockingbird

1 year ago

Orbiting: pt.4°

: pt.1° | pt.2° - pt.2,5° | pt.3°

[icehockey!jungkook x figureskater!reader] [3.9k smut, angst. There's swearing; bitch-calling (non-sexual); this is purely fiction, please practice safe sex!; tons of dialogues. I hope you enjoy reading this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it, but tbh, I kinda struggled to steer the plot.

Also! Happy Hobi Day! Please give Be My Mistake some love, too! (if u want)

-

"Isn't that your girl, cozying up to Park?"

The first thing Jungkook sees is you—back on the rink, just where you belong. He's never seen someone as graceful as you glide. You always look beautiful like this, he thinks. The apples of your cheeks are rounded and rosy from the cold, and the corners of your eyes wrinkle as you laugh.

You always reverted to the nine-year-old you when you were left free to skate—so carefree and unafraid. There were moments like now when he could watch you move smoothly on the ice and soar in the air forever. Days like today are what he will always be thankful for, and he hopes you get to have forever. No longer does he want to see you put yourself through so much pain and endure it for the sake of being the best in your sport. While Jungkook knows all too well that you need to put in the hard work to get a step forward toward your dream of being professionals in your own field, he also knew when too much was too much. In all those days where you suffered, Jungkook did, too. So, he vowed to never forget that there's a version of you who knew how to revel and not overthink every move she made on the ice. And it is his duty to always remind you of her.

Your squeal broke him out of his trance. And Jungkook would have felt the strain in his muscle when he whipped his head, turning to look through the glass, past the bleachers, if the sight hadn't irked him. Jealousy stirred as he spots Jimin's arms on your waist and the other outstretched to hold yours. He knows it's nothing malicious. You've been practicing that stance with him for years when you were kids, thanks to his mom. But something about seeing Jimin with you and the fact that you've defended the guy when Jungkook blamed him for your sprained leg AND even managed to gush about how graceful he skates left a bitter taste in his mouth.

Plus, not to be bitter and petty, but Jungkook thinks he skates well—better even. And yet you've never complimented him.

"Not my girl," Jungkook murmurs under his breath. "And it's a routine. Not exactly cozying up." He scoffs and takes his stick from Yugyeom a little too aggressively, causing his friend-slash-teammate to chuckle.

"You seem to know a lot about routines," Jackson cuts in. "But then again, why wouldn’t you, Jungkook?" The lilt in the older man's voice as he said Jungkook's name wasn't unnoticed, but Jungkook didn't have enough patience and attention to spare to even humor the guy. He also knew whatever Jackson had to say would be anything but a friendly banter.

Jungkook only acknowledges the man with a side-eye and raised brow as he tapes his hockey stick.

Unfortunately, Jackson refuses to shut his mouth; the man is clearly on a mission to get a reaction from Jungkook.

The rest of the hockey team starts to come out of the locker rooms, clumping to the bleachers. With the gathering crowd, Jackson raises his voice, demanding attention and an audience. "You know, there's this move figure skaters do where they spin and spin and spin, circling around their partner." With his head tilted and standing in front of Jungkook, he gives him a haughty glare.

And still, Jungkook’s attention remains on you. You’re only just occupying your side of the rink—the opposite side where his team is gathered at. Whatever you hear on your end should be incoherent. You don't need to hear the bullshit coming out of his teammate's mouth, he thinks.

"What was it she preferred to call it again?" Jackson pretends to wait for Jungkook to answer. Yugyeom, on the other hand, looked apologetic. What started out as playful teasing turned into a way for Jackson to provoke their team captain, and everyone knew how Jackson loved to rile Jungkook. While everyone thought it was because the older man lost the title to someone younger, that was only partly the reason.

"Ah, right," Jackson walks closer to Jungkook. He claps Jungkook's shoulder before gripping tightly into it. "Orbiting,” Jackson grins. He’s taunting, hooking Jungkook, demanding his full attention. “Y/N does it well, but you clearly do it the best,” he mocks. “It’s comical watching you run in circles around the bitch for years.” His sly smile turns to pointed chuckles as he feels Jungkook tense under his grip.

Hook, line, and sinker.

Closing in on Jungkook's ear, Jackson whispers, "Don't worry, I'm pretty sure she does it intentionally, especially to guys she dances with. I bet Park's gonna be her new boy toy now, huh?"

Jungkook was never a violent man. Even on the ice, in a game, he never started brawls. The one time he got tangled in a fight, he couldn’t stand the disappointed glare you gave him. It hurt more than the 13 stitches on his head and scarier than his mom’s scolding.

And yet, Jungkook throws the first punch straight to Jackson’s jaw.

Jungkook can take a joke and can easily shake off empty trash talk and name-calling from his team. In fact, he lets them make jokes about him about his blatant simping for you because it’s true, and anything untrue, he doesn’t see the point in entertaining it. But he draws the line when the jabs are at the expense of the people he loves.

In a matter of seconds, Jackson returns the punch, and a full brawl breaks out.

On the opposite end, you and Jimin match your stride as a pair—being aware of each other’s movement and syncing your limbs to move as one; oblivious to the growing chaos.

You’re in the middle of a Lutz when the commotion steals your focus. You wobble on your landing and Jimin’s quick to hold you from falling. You turn towards the racket and see a mass of bulky men shouting.

It’s Jungkook’s team.

You skate closer to the chaos, and it’s not until you see a pressed back on the glass, the number 97 jersey bold and taut on their back, that you speed skate. Behind you, Jimin calls your name and follows.

You see Yugyeom restrain Jackson, and the other guys are holding back Jungkook. A flurry of curse words flies out of Jackson’s mouth. Entering the box, your eyes are drawn to Jungkook. You can already see his busted lip and sore knuckles. You call his name, and he looks up, jaws locked and tense. It takes a moment for his clenched knuckles to relax. He stands up and shrugs off the arms holding him.

Yet again, Jackson cuts in, “You guys are quite a pair, huh?” he laughs, humorless.

“Man, shut the fuck up,” Yugyeom struggles but eventually manages to drag Jackson away from the group. Sensing that Jungkook won't follow and lunge at Jackson, the rest of the guys disperse. All that’s left gathered on the bleachers is you and Jungkook.

And Jimin.

Your new partner’s existence annoys Jungkook. Your doe-eyed friend wonders if Jimin knows he doesn’t have to stand so close beside you. He watches with eagle eyes as Jimin hands out your skate guards. You teeter sideways as you clasp the rubber on your skates, and Jungkook hates the sight in front of him—you’re holding on to Jimin for support, and his arm is on your waist to keep you steady.

Fueled by jealousy and adrenaline, Jungkook walks towards you just in time to catch your arm away from Jimin’s body as you switch to putting on the other rubber guard on your skates.

You feel smushed as you stand sandwiched between two guys. Feeling claustrophobic, you push Jungkook by his chest to look at his injuries. “Your lips are bleeding,” your tone colder than ice, a contrast to your warm hands inspecting the blooming bruises on his face. “It’s nothing,” Jungkook murmurs, his head turning sideways, away from you.

You tsk at his stubbornness and press your thumb on his split lip, earning a pained hiss. “We have to clean this so it doesn’t scar.” Before Jungkook can protest and put on his macho bravado, you turn to Jimin. “Can we take a rain check on lunch?” your voice barely above a whisper. But Jungkook’s not only stubborn, he’s nosey, too—masking how hard he strains to listen to your conversation with an unbothered face.

There's an exchange of whispers, then Jimin looks at him, then back at you. He smiles and nods at you. “I'll see you later, then.” His hands connect with your arm for a comforting squeeze before leaving.

Jungkook rolls his eyes.

-

“Where are we going?” Jungkook follows you as you drag him by his arm along the corridors. “The clinic’s closed on weekends,” he points out, but the only response he gets is a huff.

You’re a bit eerily quiet. Calm, even. He fears what follows, so he thinks of a way to pacify you.

“Well. Lucky for you, Jeon, I have the keys.” You dangle the set of keys on your fingers. “Your mom gave them to me before she left.”

You unlock the clinic and usher Jungkook in the compact space. “I seem to always end up hurt when I practice and it’s not like your mom has her eyes on me all the time, so she lends me the key to the clinic.” You push Jungkook to the foamed table. “Sit.”

Jungkook follows suit, still mum, still thinking. He knows he's on wafer-thin ice with you, but even so, he can't help but love the attention you’re giving him and the fact that you’re away from Jimin.

The image of you and Park on the rink is still vivid in his memory, stirring the tinge of jealousy that resides inside him. So, as you rummage through the cabinets, Jungkook pulls you close to him. “C’mere,” he whispers.

“Hold on, I have to find something for your lip.” Your body extends in the small space. Your arms are outstretched while you rummage through the cabinet for bandages and antiseptic cream, and your lower half is awkwardly bent, thighs wedged between Jungkook’s, and his hands support your hips.

“Forget the cream. I know a better way to have this healed quickly.” His arms engulf your waist and pull you completely to him. You turn to tell him off, but before words can leave your mouth, Jungkook slots his lips to yours.

Before things could escalate, you begrudgingly pull away. “Nuh-uh. You think you’re so sly, huh?” You pinch his chin. “I still need to interrogate you on what exactly happened with Jackson back there.”

Jungkook deflates. “You know Jackson. He was spouting nonsense, and I guess he just got on my nerves.”

Curiosity peaked, you push Jungkook to tell you more. “What nonsense?” Your willful streak shows in your furrowed eyebrows. On most days, he loves it, but on a day like today, he wishes you knew when to get the hint and just drop it.

Jungkook groans. “I’m just really having one of those days, Y/N.” Arms still wrapped around your waist, he leans forward to rest his head on your chest. Instinctively, you run your fingers through his hair, fingers massaging his scalp. Your best friend moans, and for the first time since you pulled him away from the bleachers, you let out a smile.

“Make me feel better,” he breathes. His face now burrowing into your breasts, and his fluffy hair tickles you.

“Gguk,” you giggle. “We’re in the clinic, and I'm pretty sure there are people nearby.” You softly pull at his hair to remove his head between your tits, but he just moans.

Oh.

“Don’t care, baby. Just focus on me,” he proposes with a kiss on your neck and his hands make soothing work on your back. When the only response he gets from you is a satisfied hum, he sits up further on the table. He lowers his hand, tapping your ass before he pulls you by the backs of your knees so you straddle his thighs on the table.

“Fuck, I love it when you wear skirts.” Jungkook’s hand disappears inside your clothes, palms once again making contact with your ass before he claws at your tights. “This I hate, though. Fuck.” he grumbles at the sheer garment.

“Oh, that's a shame," you pout. "I actually thought you'd love it. It’s crotchless," the last sentence coming out in a whisper. Cue another curse from his mouth. You momentarily pull away to get off the table and shed your safety shorts. “Need those off, Jeon," you command with a shoot of your brow towards his pants. “Wanna feel you. Don’t you want to feel me?”

You're a fucking tease, and Jungkook loves it.

You watch him struggle to unlatch his belt clasp—he’s roughly pulling at his padded pants and while you want to help, you decide to enjoy the sight before you as his thick thighs come into view. You climb back on top of Jungkook, his eyes following your movement until you plop your ass to his growing bulge.

Jungkook flips the front of your skirt and goes breathless at the sight. “You’re a fucking minx, you know that?”

“Only for you.” Hands gripping his shoulders as an anchor, you drag your wet pussy to his bulge, and you both moan. “Wore this for you," you pant. "I knew you were practicing today and thought you'd need a cooldown after." You’re full-on humping him, drawing pleasured gasps from the man below you.

“Well, fuck me,” Jungkook throws his head back, eyes up on the ceiling and he thanks his lucky stars for you. You pull at his tight underwear, and his hard cock springs free—swollen red and leaking. Your mouth waters at the sight, and your pussy clenches at nothing.

“Please, Jungkook,” you plead. You’re beyond turned on. Your arousal mixes with Jungkook’s precum, and you can smell the sex permeating the air. It drives you feral. You spit at his cock before stroking it.

Jungkook revels in your neediness. This is what he wants—for you to need him, want him. And someday, he hopes it goes beyond sex. His arms pull your waist closer as you sink down on his cock in one drop.

“Shit, Y/N, you okay, baby?”

You respond with a breathy yes as you start bouncing on his dick. Your focus is directed on chasing your high and, at the same time, making sure Jungkook feels the same intensity of desire and pleasure you feel. With a roll of your hips, you clench around his shaft. He claws at your arched back as he sucks your tits with playful nips. Each sting heightens your arousal.

You play around with the angle of your hips and attune to Jungkook's reaction. But you struggle and near complete submission with each bite to your breast, every kiss to your lips, and slide to your folds. Once again, you’re rendered pliant and submissive on top of Jungkook.

Feeling you slow down, Jungkook taps your burning thighs. “On your back, baby,” he rasps. You shake your head but move to get on all fours—you raise your hips, shuffling to snuggle his cock in your ass and stretch your back. And to top it off, you clasp your hands on your back, giving him something to hold as he pounds into you.

Behind you, Jungkook is gobsmacked. What are you doing to him?

Presenting yourself for his use, Jungkook doesn't hesitate to hold your behaved hands with one grip, and his other hand guides his dick to smear your slick from your folds to your ass. He preens at the noises you make.

"Please," you drool. "Please what? Tell me what you want, baby," his voice matches the slow and soft movement of his tip on your folds.

With one last teasing push of his tip to your puffy clit, he completely bottoms out and holds.

“How’s that for feeling me, baby?” His lips ghost the shell of your ear, and it tickles you just right. You clench around him and reclaim one of your restrained hands between your now folded bodies to draw circles on your clit. You hear Jungkook chuckle before leaving a quick peck on your cheek. As he straightens up to pull out his dick, he reaches to swat your naughty hand on your clit and replaces it with his.

And it feels better.

His fingers play with your nub and continue to plunge in and out of you. The sound that echoes around the tiny room is pure filth—guttural groans and whiny moans harmonize.

“Baby, cum for me,” Jungkook hastens his rhythmic thrusting, and with a soft flick to your clit, you come undone. His movements quicken and cum-soaked hands travel upwards to your body to fondle your tits like it's his personal stress ball.

“Shit Jungkook. Feels good," you blabber. You love how you can feel his weight on top of you; the pressure makes his pounding harder and deeper and it overrides your oversensitivity. The pleasure is too good, too strong. With a bite to your shoulder to muffle himself, you cum with him.

-

“Don’t forget your shorts. Can’t have you skating with Park wearing just that."

"Right," you giggle and put on your shorts. "Can't be traumatizing my partner this soon."

"Good girl." Jungkook pats your ass.

"Hey," your hands pull Jungkook before he can leave. "What really happened back there?"

"Y/N, I told you it was nothing."

"Nothing? Jungkook, had the fight been longer, you could've been dismissed from the upcoming game."

"Well, we're fine. Plus, Jackson's not going to do anything or tell the coach. It's both our asses on the line."

"That doesn't mean you can go around throwing punches now. What if—"

Throwing his head back, Jungkook lets out a bitter laugh, cutting you off. As he returns to face you, he sees the focused glare on your eyes—lids sharp and brows knitted. You're annoyed.

But so is he.

“You really wanna know? Fine. Jackson called me out. He said it was fucking comical how I wait around you like a lovesick puppy. It's actually a fucking running joke in our team that when you call, I come running." Words and feelings overflowed out of Jungkook's mouth, but he was not close to being done. "And as much as I hate to admit it, it’s actually true, and someone like him throwing that to my face just struck a nerve. He deserved the punch for running his mouth and calling you a bitch, too. Y/N, if you've heard the names he's called you, comments he made—"

"I don't care about that, Jungkook," you interrupt. One moment, you're in bliss, and now you've been hit with an accusation. "I don't care if he calls me a bitch or paints me however he wants. It's you I care about. I worry that one day, he manages to push you to your breaking point, and you do something that kicks you off the team." You feel like a bubble filled with emotions burst inside you, leaving you conflicted with what you feel. You're angry at Jackson, but also, if you think Jungkook is saying what he is saying, then half of you blooms in hope, but the other wilts at the revelation that he said it like he resents what he's feeling.

“So, do you resent me? For, I don't know, calling you? Wanting to be with you? Being friends with you?" The last question left your lips in a murmur. You've ranked low in competitions before, but you've never looked as defeated as you do now. To make it worse, you stand pathetic in front of Jungkook.

“I’m not saying that," Jungkook pinches the bridge of his nose. "I’ve been in love with you, Y/N,” he can’t believe he’s saying it out loud.

Jungkook imagined his confession to be far from this wreckage. This moment was the polar opposite of how he wanted it to go, but the words flurry out of his mouth before he could think of them. “I love you, but you’re always too hung up on every new guy that comes along to even see me…” he swallows the sob rising in his throat. “Sometimes I wonder if you keep me as a placeholder until a new guy comes.”

“A placeholder?” You're horrified. Jungkook's breaking your heart, and the thought that you apparently broke his shatters the pieces further.

“Aren’t I? When Jackson joined our team, all he had to do was wink and throw a cheesy line at you, and you’re all about him. And now Jimin—”

“Jimin?” Now, you're confused.

“Yes, Jimin. All he had to do was skate with you, and suddenly, I’m on the backburner.”

“Jungkook, where is this coming from? You’re making me out as someone who’s never been a friend to you.”

“Oh, you’ve been a friend, alright. But you can’t deny you’ve strung me up all along. Sometimes I wonder if you knew how I feel and you—”

“Stop," you plead. "Oh god, Jungkook, stop talking, please.” The tears you were holding back now freefall to your cheeks. “All this time, this is how you felt. You have been resenting me—"

"That's not what I'm saying! Do you not understand me?" Jungkook grows frustrated.

“No, I understand, Jungkook. Perfectly. I understand I’ve been selfish, teetering between wanting to keep you close to me and keeping you at a distance to protect myself." You don't want to invalidate his feelings, but he also needs to know where you're at. Thousands of thoughts are drowning you, and you're nowhere close to navigating your feelings; you're still conflicted and lost. But most of all, afraid. Will you lose Jungkook now? It frightens you that one wrong decision could crash your friendship beyond fixable. "But Jungkook, I’ve never seen you as someone I can set aside for anyone else because you’ve always been the first person I look for and reach out to. Even when I always thought you were so close yet so far to me, but still I—"

A knock pops the bubble you’re in. Rushing to wipe your cheeks dry, the door swings open to a clueless and shocked Jimin, eyes wide and mouth agape.

“Shit, sorry," Jimin fidgets between wanting to close the door and leave but decides he'd rather not get in trouble, so with eyes on the floor, he calls for you.

"Coach is going ballistic looking for you, Y/N. And him, too. I mean, their coach is looking for him. He heard of the fight.”

More worry rushes to you. You try hard to stay afloat and level-headed, but you're sinking and sinking. “Right,” you clear your throat. “We were just cleaning up. We’re done here anyway.”

Once again, you feel claustrophobic. You need to leave. You don't trust yourself to make any decision in the state you're in. The last time you made a decision from what you were feeling, you made a selfish proposal to Jungkook. And look where that's gotten you now. You can't think, so you rush to leave the room, folding your arms before Jungkook can grab your wrist.

“Wait, Y/N—”

You linger briefly at the door, just enough so he can catch the defeated words that you speak, “We’re done, Jungkook.”

-

Tags :

bangtanwritershq bangtan fic jeon jungkook pwp fics jungkook fanfic

334 notes View Post

elusivecagedmockingbird

1 year ago

Orbiting: pt.5

: pt.1° | pt.2° - pt.2,5° | pt.3° | pt.4°

[icehockey!jungkook x figureskater!reader] [3.5k smut: ‼️ choking kink, angst, fluff—I think everything's in here] Thank you to everyone who followed and read this fic! I think I tried to fit as much as I could in this chapter to wrap it up, while trying to be consistent with the plot despite cutting it to fewer chapters. Still, here's to an enjoyable read for you guys! Hot off the press, so it's not proofread.

-

The cold air hangs heavy in the rink as you glide across the ice with Jimin. You move in perfect synchrony, your movements fluid and graceful.

For a minute.

Then, you're back to stumbling over your own feet and disrupting the routine. Jimin manages to steady you, but the exhaustion is evident on his face. You offer a sheepish apology and look back to your coach. A stern expression on her face.

"Y/N, focus! We can't afford to keep making these mistakes." She follows you and Jimin skate in a circle by the sidelines. You nod to acknowledge her, and you let your sight wander to the stands, hoping to see Jungkook sitting at one of the seats.

But you only see vacant bleachers. Suddenly, the argument from earlier sits heavier on your heart.

You miss Jimin's cue for a lift and his hold on you slips before you can even secure the move. You fell mid-lift, and Jimin lost his balance, his feet crossing to regain his footing, but it was too late. He pulls you into him as he uses his own body to break your fall. In that fleeting moment, time seemed to stand still as your mind tried to catch up on what had just happened.

"Fucking fuck," Jimin groans below you, clearly in pain and struggling to breathe.

Your coach rushes onto the ice, her expression a mixture of concern and frustration. She knelt beside your crumpled forms, assessing the situation with a practiced eye before calling for an ambulance.

"Jimin, are you okay?" Her attention was on your partner, as it should be, but you wince at her dismissal of you. This was clearly your fault. You knew that the failed lift was a result of your carelessness and lack of focus. With a strained voice, you apologize to Jimin.

He only shook his head, his expression a mix of disappointment and concern. It must have been pity from seeing you hold your shoulder that he assures you. "Accidents happen, Y/N. Don't worry."

"We need to make sure you're both alright. Let's get you off the ice and check for any injuries." Mrs. Jeon helps you both to your feet. Her attention remains on Jimin.

As you retreat from the rink, the guilt and feeling of defeat dawns on you. And you wish you had Jungkook to cheer you up.

-

The hospital hallway was quiet; the only sound was the soft shuffle of your footsteps as you made your way to Jimin's room. You carried a box of chicken in your hand, a small gesture of apology for the accident that had landed him here.

Your heart hammered in your chest as you approached the door. You hesitated for a moment before mustering the courage to knock gently.

The door creaked open, revealing Jimin lying in bed, his face pale but his eyes brightening at the sight of you.

"Hi," you croak out. "I brought you chicken." You wave the box as you step into the room.

"Ah, finally! I've been starving." Jimin sits up and pulls the table so you can place the food directly in front of him. He smiles at you as thanks.

"You're staying, right? I'm hungry, but there's no way I can eat all of these by myself." You agree and watch him take his first bite. Genuinely laughing at his exaggerated bit of enjoying the chicken.

Jimin moves and gestures for you to sit beside him. And you do.

You grind your teeth, thinking about how to start your apology speech when he beats you to talking.

"I feel like I need to tell you this," Jimin holds your hand, his tone serious, and in turn, you face him to show you're listening. "We're a team, Y/N. When one of us makes a mistake, we both learn from it to be better."

Your eyes brim with tears, touched by Jimin's understanding. He was the one in pain, and yet he's the one making you feel better.

"I'm so sorry, Jimin," you hiccup. "I promise I'll do better."

He squeezes your folded hands in his—the touch a comforting reassurance. You were about to dig in for a chicken wing when the door to Jimin's room swung open.

Your eyes widen at the sight of a sweaty Jungkook.

"Oh, Jungkook?" Jimin's head pops out from your side. Your position and intertwined hands are not lost on you.

And obviously this is what Jungkook only sees.

"Are you—" "Gguk, it's not—" "Sorry, I must be—" All three of you rush out words from your mouths. The sound was a garbled mess of someone talking over someone. Everyone wanting to be heard first.

Jungkook clears his throat. "Sorry, I must be in the wrong room," he rushes and slams the door close.

Breaking Jimin's grip on yours, you clear your throat. Jimin looks at you with a sly smile.

"What?" Your tone is defensive, and your eyes elude his stare.

"Aren't you going after him?" Jimin resumes eating his chicken, and strangely, he still holds that sly look on his face. You excuse yourself, and he only responds with a nod, his mouth clearly busy tearing up the chicken leg.

-

Jungkook storms down the hallway, his jaw tense, and hands clenched into fists at his sides. Behind him, you call his name desperately.

"Jungkook, please, will you wait," you shout. You managed to capture the attention of a couple of nurses, but Jungkook keeps speedwalking out of the hospital. You try to match his long strides and quicken your pace to reach him but fall short.

You can only watch Jungkook as he drives away. And your heart falls to your stomach at the thought that he left for good.

-

You re-enter Jimin's room and see that he's made himself comfortable—bed reclined, a sitcom playing on the television, and he seems to be on his third chicken leg. He's laughing at a stupid scene and turns to point it out to you but stops as he sees you standing by his door, on the verge of tears.

"Oh, Y/N. Everything okay?"

At his question, your dam breaks. You rack out sobs, and your shoulders shake. Jimin feels helpless as he can't stand, instead, he beckons you to come closer.

-

“We’ve been friends for so long, and now, I wonder if we just feel this way because we’ve been together for years. Hell, I survived his snarky exes as he did mine." You chuckle at the memory of 'dealing' with Jungkook's girlfriends. You had the decency to step away from Jungkook when he started dating someone, albeit it hurts. You genuinely wanted Jungkook to be happy in a relationship. But after a few days, it's Jungkook who seeks you out. Inviting you during lunch dates, saying he just wanted his best girls to get along. Somehow, that struck a bad nerve to every girl he was dating at the time.

"What if we find out we’re not better as friends and couldn’t return to how we are?”

“Ah. And how exactly are you now?” Jimin teases.

You didn't know. You both just keep walking out on each other. Obviously, it was your emotions that drove you to these actions. You would argue that you were both reasonable and sensible people, but now you see how every time you were together, all your actions were, perhaps, dramatic and careless.

You sigh. “You know he’s jealous of you?” Your lips curve into a borderline smile and grimace as you look at Jimin. If you were in a better mood, you would find amusement in Jungkook's misplaced jealousy, but right now, what lurks in your mind is the accusation that he thinks you never saw him more than a friend when every day since he drew a bug tattoo on his arm and swore he'll get it permanently so he can have something to remember you by, you started to love him differently. You started to see him as someone you would want to be with every day, so he'll never need something to remember you by because you'll always be beside him.

A chortle from Jimin breaks your reminiscing. “I guess he still remembers me then.” You turn to look at him, brows knitted with confusion, waiting for him to explain what he meant. Jimin takes his time drinking his water before looking at you. His eyes sparkle with mirth and seriousness as if what he’s about to say is something controversial.

“Remember the National Solo Dance in Cape Cod?" You shake your head, still confused about where he's leading with this. "In 2013? This isn’t the first time we’re meeting, Y/N. I mean, at least not for me. You were still skating solo, and I watched your routine. I was in awe at you then, and I wanted to meet you, introduce myself.”

The memory brings a childlike smile to Jimin’s face. “Anyway, cut to the end, everyone was throwing flowers and stuffed ladybugs on the rink, but I wanted to hand you the daisy I held personally. I was waiting by the bleachers when your best friend stood next to me. He must’ve thought I was one of the sweepers, and so he told me he would do it instead. It was ironic since I thought he was also there to pick up your gifts, so I told him I was waiting for you."

"God, I was smitten with how you moved; even as you were bowing, my eyes stayed on you. Jungkook must have seen the infatuated grin I had as you were approaching. I mean, he should know that look; the man had it plastered on his face, too."

"He tried to subtly block you from my view. I tried to squeeze myself in front, but when I saw him hug you, and not just in a friendly way, I knew he wasn’t there to pick up shit.”

“Yeah, I think I remember that day,” you murmur. "I don't remember you, though," you quip with a giggle.

“Of course you wouldn't. Jeon Jungkook made sure you never saw me that day," Jimin scoffed. "Since then, I assumed he was your boyfriend. So, I took a step back. Handed the daisy to the sweeper and admired you from afar." He ends his story with a boop to your nose. Much like how an endearing parent does to a child.

Obviously, this was new information to you. When you think back to that day, you never picked up on Jungkook's action. Though you try not to let it show, you were exhilarated at the thought that maybe Jungkook did really love you since then.

Just like what he said.

Jimin has only known you for a few months, but he can already tell when the cogs in your brain are working overtime. And so, he subtly helps you out one last time.

“Y/N, it’s none of my business, and I don’t know you guys that well yet, so I could be wrong, but take my advice or leave it—you have to give Jungkook more credit. I believe the guy has always been sure of how he feels for you. And if what you just said now is also true, then I think you're trading something great for something even better—the best, even."

Gulping air as you take in Jimin's words, your head bobs in agreement. The thought of walking out and leaving Jungkook hurt tugs at your heart harshly. You see Jimin reach out for a tissue, and just when your hands accept it, he wipes his lips before confronting you with more truth.

“He’s been waiting and choosing you since then. It's your turn to choose him now.”

You huff, eyes rolling but you knew Jimin was right. And so, you thank Jimin and leave to look for Jungkook.

-

Your initial plan was to rehearse what you were going to tell Jungkook during your drive to the rink. But as you stand in front of the entrance doors, you're hit with the realization that you hadn't done anything but reminisce about the good old days where you were just best friends.

Just.Best.Friends.

You hated yourself for putting the limiting word—just, beside your friendship.

You let your hand fall from the door handle.

You were being selfish, you think. You both were. You have been friends for years, and in those years, you were great.

When you were best friends, you cried, laughed, and even fought with each other, and still found your way back. Asking to be more than what you have right now is being selfish.

Part of you echoes Jimin's words 'something great for something even better'.

Still, if you go beyond the lines of your friendship with Jungkook, you fear the possibility of irreparable damage in the future. What if you do argue as a couple? Will forgiveness come as easy when you're friends?

Sure. You're tempted with the pride of finally calling himself your boyfriend. Even just thinking about it makes you feel giddy—calling him yours, not because you own him, but he's yours to love and to care for without the pretense. No more pretending to be annoyed everything he asks you to watch his game, instead you can stand proudly on the bleachers, wearing his jersey and cheering him on. You can invite him to your practices without overthinking and the fear of his mother seeing through your masked feelings.

You recoil as the door aggressively opens, the hinges squeaking. But the sight of Jungkook in front of you cancels out the unpleasant sensation in your ear.

"Y/N?" Curious eyes zigzag on your face. "Shouldn't you be in the hospital keeping Park company?" Jungkook walks past you, leaving you just a bit wounded. Your initial reaction was to defend yourself, but decide to act against it. You take a deep breath, as if refueling your courage patience, and follow him.

"I need to apologize to you," your words coming out stuttered and shaky. Hearing this, Jungkook stops to face you. It was like a switch flicked inside him. His face softened, his pettiness giving way to concern. He walks back to you, his shoulders no longer squared up and tense.

"Y/N, you have nothing to be sorry about." Jungkook's lips curve into a warm, reassuring smile. But his eyes stay downcast.

Guilt settles in your gut. Were you at fault for taking away the glimmer in his eyes? Your wait for his eyes to meet yours and when he does, he forces out another smile.

But you know him better.

A heavy sigh leaves your lips at the bittersweet realization that Jungkook's heavy heart could be sinking to the floor and yet he would always set aside how he feels to make sure you're fine. But it is with that realization that brings you to a clear decision.

You look down and lay your palm flat on his chest. You might break if you keep his gaze, and so, you think the best thing to face as you confess was his chest—forget how hard his pecs feel in your hand—rather, this is where his heart is.

"Just listen, please," you plead. You still struggle to find the right words. Was it even possible to put into words the love that grew inside you for your best friend? You were used to acting out how you felt. You believed you already bared your feelings to Jungkook through your caring actions. But maybe, just maybe, you fucked up by failing to pick up that Jungkook needs words. He needs you to tell him how you feel.

He needs clarity. And so do you.

Here goes your everything.

"I shouldn't have walked out on you. But in that moment, everything overwhelmed me and I just couldn’t keep up. One minute I was sucking you off and the next thing I knew you were telling me you loved me and—”

“Love,” Jungkook corrects, cutting you off.

“What?” Your head quickly tilts to look up at him and just so you wouldn't avoid his gaze again, he holds up your chin with this forefinger.

“I love you, Y/N, I always have," he clarifies. "And it's a different, stronger love than being friends. But if you don’t feel the same, or you’re not in the same place as I am, I’m fine with that but will you please just let me know?”

Oh, Jungkook.

"What if we try and it ruins everything?" You hiccup. "If it ruins us and I lose you forever. Jungkook, I don't think I—"

“You’re never gonna lose me." He cuts you off again. "Look, I’m not pushing you to make a decision, I just need you to be honest with me."

You sniffle as he wipes the tears cascading from your eyes with his sleeves. “Whatever you decide, I’m here. I’ll always be here.” Jungkook yet again assures you.

You lean your forehead to his and take a deep breath. Unexpectedly, a soft laugh escapes your lips. But before Jungkook can assume you were laughing at him or were going insane, you were quick to chase those assumptions away.

"If you would have let me finish, I would have told you I love you, too."

"You do?" he stuttered, his voice barely audible over the sound of your racing heart.

And his.

You nodded, unable to tear your gaze away from his. It might be your eyes wetting with tears of happiness, but you think you see the light in Jungkook's eyes come back. "I've felt this way for so long, but I didn't want to risk our friendship. I was scared that maybe I was asking for too much."

Jungkook tilts his head and his hands rub your arms, whether it was to comfort you or him, it didn't matter. "I was scared too, Y/N," he confesses. "I was ready to take anything you could give me as long as I didn't lose you."

The pooled tears in your eyes fall as heavy as the weight of his words. All this time, you had been dancing around each other, too scared to take the leap.

But now you know. He would always catch you and you would do the same for him.

Something great for something even better—the best.

With a sound decision and heart, you call his name.

-

"Jungkook," your lover's name spills out of your mouth in a breathy moan.

Intertwined in each other's arms, your bodies are pressed together in a tender embrace. Your upper bodies are exposed for anyone entering the locker room to see and at first glance, it's arguably a lovely sight to see, but the echoes of slapping skin and groans of pleasure reveals how Jungkook is fucking away your sanity.

The carnal desire you feel with each drag of his cock to your walls is tenfold. Forget that you're in one of the least romantic places to fuck, because somehow, Jungkook's relentless thrusting inside you, as he holds one leg in his arm and the other raised to his shoulders, feels more charged and fulfilling than all the sex you've had before.

It's like both of you are animals in heat who have been let out after being caged for so long.

Not longer than a minute ago, you just came on his tongue and yet, you feel your orgasm creeping up on you again.

He pulls another wanton moan of his name from you as he angles his cock and rams it into you, his tip hitting your cervix. Your body folds in pleasure and he pushes you back with a grip to your throat.

"This okay?" Jungkook drums his finger to your neck as he waits for your answer. His stiff dick continuously penetrating you.

With mouth agape in silent pants, you whisper a yes. You shut your eyes so your senses can focus on the feeling of his limbs on you. His hands on your neck gets tighter as he fucks you harder.

Jungkook is slowly losing himself in you—getting closer to his own peak. His lidded eyes stay on your face, making sure all you feel is him and pleasure—mindful not to hurt you. He ghosts his lips to yours, catching every squeaky breath you let out with his mouth. He's breathing you in. You're submitting yourself to him and so he takes all of it—whatever you're willing to give.

And you're giving him everything—all of you.

You will your eyes to open, and when you do, you see Jungkook—your boyfriend, your lover, yours, yours, yours.

He closes in for a kiss, merging your bodies, from head to toe, as one. And with one last confession of love to each other, you both climax.

-

Jungkook buttons your shirt as you tug and zip his jeans. The room is silent aside from coy giggles and soft smacks, be it from your lips or Jungkook's hand playfully slapping your ass.

As you and Jungkook leave the locker room, he links his hands with yours and sways your arms back and forth, much like he did when you walked home together in grade school.

Except this time, he can leave kisses to your knuckles, and you can let the caged butterflies in your chest flutter all they want.

-

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