Being Different - Tumblr Posts

We get older, yes, but do not disappear. 

I've been wearing fun hair color for years, but I got a deathhawk cut recently, and while I'm mostly wearing it down, or pulled back, I'm getting better at putting it up. But bad for a woman in her 60s, I think. Practice, practice, practice

- Won-pyung Sohn, Almond: A Novel [trans. by Sandy Joosun Lee]

What's wrong with being different when everyone else is just the same?

by the way people actually care. I'm so tired of the "nobody gives a shit about you" motivational phrase because it's simply bs. If that's right then why people who I see on the street start talking about me when they see me? Why they comment my looks when I walk past them? The whole mindset of "Look I'm here recording myself and people don't even stare at me because they are in their own mind" is true, but only partially true. Whether people stare or not depends on a lot of factors: the place, the country you're filming in, your looks, etc.. In some places for instance they would aggressively stare at you, in others they're just too busy.

People judge you. People who you don't even know look at you, have thoughts about you, they criticise you or complement you, sometimes they forget about you after you have walked away, other times they remember you forever. They use words recklessly, as if they didn't know that those are flying knifes. Those nicknames on your insta story list are watching you and judjing you as we speak. How do I know? Because I do the same. And you know what? Let them. Let them cover you in their shit. Let them talk about you, or worse gossip about you. Let them feel superior than you. Let them hate you.

Once you let them you will actually stop caring. Who cares if everyone is judging me anyway? No matter what I do, those eyes will still be on me. I can't control it nor prevent it. I will always be hated by someone. There's always gonna be someone who'll comment on my looks and on my weird attitude. There's always gonna be someone who will try to obstacle my freedom by saying mean stuff about me, trying to stop me from expressing myself and trying to make me become like them. Trying to let me stop being cringe and wanting me to close myself to the world and waste my time judging others who have the guts to be cringe.

Y'know, I used to have an insta blog that was extremely awkward and cringe. Yeah I remember people saying mean things about me, even the friends of my friends would ask them how could they be friends with such a weirdo. Now I deleted that blog, made a private account and occasionally post stuff that is generally considered "normal". I became just like them and I lost my freedom. And all of this because I started to care. I lost my uniqueness.