Beomgyu Angst - Tumblr Posts

chrysanthemums

💌 pairing: choi beomgyu x reader 💌 genre: oneshot, strangers to lovers!au, angst, major character death 💌 warning of su!c!de!! i don't want to offend anyone so i tried to make the process minimal but it's obviously such a big turn and an important part in one's life so it will be a scene. also this is in no way an assumption about beomgyu or anyone's mental condition. 💌 word count: 2.6k 💌 author's note: beomgyu has been biaswrecking me so hard these days. it’s so hard to stay yeonjun biased.. but honestly it’s hard to even have one bias in txt at all. enjoy the read!

[ all his life, he didn't know why this thing called living was such a big deal. at some certain point in his life, he no longer lived, only did what he needed to survive. but the day he met you, he suddenly had a reason to live. time passes and another accident occurs, ending up with one of you getting hurt. could you both move on from that? ]

it started off as a normal saturday for you. you remember waking up late, finishing up on projects, and your usual late night walk around han river. although, that night in particular was a little foggy and it made you become more aware of your surroundings. considering spring was just a few days away, the winter air still lingered. with careful steps, the corner of your eyes caught movement. you were confused as the shadow seemed to be attached to a person very tall. but the more you stepped closer, the more the sight became clearer. you screamed.

so perhaps it wasn't a normal saturday.

in just a moment, you were running over and pulling down a man away from the bridge, away from an end at life. "mister?! what are you doing?! what are you thinking?!," you're hitting his back at every chance while he cries in your arms. "please! this isn't the way! you can't do this!" when the man's eyes come up to finally meet yours, you're astonished. how beautiful he is. how amazingly gorgeous he is.

you sat on the horridly bumpy ground, the pebbles digging into the back of your legs. but you could care less as you watched the man repeating apologies. after a while, once he had calmed down, you stood the both of you up with a soft smile. "are we okay now?" you said, trying to be delicate with your words. he softly nods. checking your phone for the time, you realized it was very late in the night, there would be no cafes open. so you decided to settle for a convenience store, although you wanted better, you slightly placed his shoes back in front of him. waiting for him to slide them on, you looked around to make sure he wasn't leaving anything else behind.

a few minutes of walking and holding his hand, you looked up at his face that were stained with his tears. how could someone still look pretty after releasing a whole life's worth of tears. his peripheral vision seemed to be good because he had noticed your stare and looked over. "i'm sorry," he repeated. "i wasn't thinking straight. but...," you waited, not wanting to push him. "this... life is pretty hard. it gets harder every day. ya know? i just.. it's.." you watch him give up with explaining.

"okay.. we're here. just choose whatever you want. i'll buy it for you and you know.. we can maybe.. talk? or not." the corner of his lips had lifted as soon as his eyes spotted the chips. it really didn't go by unnoticed so you immediately grabbed the one stuck to his gaze and another few candies too. you turned him around to the drinks too, grabbing a strawberry juice. checking the items out, you got a seat and placed him down. you watched as he started eating the ready made ramen, waiting for his signal.

after a few minutes of silence, he cleared his throat, looking up. "do you want some?," you shook your head with a chuckle, already getting full from watching him eat. "i'm beomgyu, by the way. choi beomgyu." you nodded. "and i'm y/ln y/n."

that was the start of your love story with choi beomgyu. sure, you would have never guessed that the man you saved would fall in love with you and you with him. it all happened so fast. well four months... plus the fact that you hung out almost everyday. okay, maybe it wasn't all that fast. but beomgyu is a rather... well let's just say he's really not the type to be emotionally unstable. he's outgoing and weird even if he was a deep thinker. but you loved him for that. it's been almost two years since he had asked you out.

in a way, you both made each other happier. of course, there were times when you felt awful about yourself and about your life. but being with him helped you put your mind off of anything negative. in a way, he relieved everything off your plate. on a day with stressful work, he'd cook your favorite food and watch any movie available that seemed interesting. on a day with when someone offended you, he'd listen to all you had to say and shower you with compliments. on a day you would be disappointed in your self, he'd take you out on a date and always end it with a walk by the bridge you first met. on a day when you were most reminded about the cold winter night, he'd buy the first available tickets to watch the chrysanthemums grow in the flower fields. you two had gone every year since it reminded the two of you of the winter lingering spring night the two of you had met.

you loved him with all your life. but why did this still feel so wrong?

on the second anniversary of your meeting, you and beomgyu had promised a fancy dinner at one of his friends' uncle's restaurant and then exchange gifts at night in your bedroom. you were so excited for weeks. but how could it all go so wrong?

it was already late afternoon, as beomgyu stared down at the velvet box. for the first time in his life, he was confident to spend a life with someone. his life with yours. he chuckled to himself that only a year or so ago, he could've missed out in this chance. he could've missed out on a chance with you. with a soft smile, he slowly closes the small box and shoves it into the right pocket of his pants. when he finally noticed the time, he frowned. you should be here by now. in fact, you were supposed to meet half an hour ago. concerned, he pulls out his phone but just as if on time, his phone rings.

"where are you? i've been wait-"

"hello? is this y/ln y/n's guardian?," suddenly, he blanks. the whole world stops. "hello?"

"uh.. yes! umm. who am i speaking to?" he was horrified. he was thinking all sorts of things. "this is haegeum hospital. we were just brought in y/ln y/n and she is in critical condition and we are currently waiting on her surgery to end. i am contacting you to-" beomgyu didn't hear anything after that. he had rushed out of the restaurant so quickly, he tripped on his way three times. he was out of his mind. he couldn't lose you. starting the car made him notice his pulse even more. he honestly couldn't remember what occurred during his drive to the hospital. but he really couldn't care less. all he wanted was to be with you right now.

as soon as he entered the doors, he was yelling at the lady in the front. "where is she?! where is y/ln y/n?!" but the lady was calm. she was probably used to it. "sir.. y/ln y/n is.. y/ln y/n is in room 304. please check with the doctor before. i will call him to the front of the room." beomgyu wished he didn't know what that meant. but he had already experienced this before. with his mom first. and then his grandpa. he was losing everyone around him and it was all too familiar to him. he watched as the lady called up somebody on the phone. but he couldn't wait around. he looked around the lobby and noticed a sign labeled rooms 270-320. he quickly ran over to the elevator, pressing on the keys a little too hard.

when he arrived in front of your door, a doctor and a nurse were waiting. "are you y/ln y/n's guardian?," with a nod, the doctor gives beomgyu a tap on the shoulder and looks over to the nurse. "i'm sorry." beomgyu's eyes wavered over to the doctor who was walking away and the nurse who looked at him with teary eyes.

"no..," he loses strength in all his body and his knees give out. "NO!" he rushes to open the door, only to come in sight with your cold, lifeless body. only when the nurse closes the door behind her, does he burst into tears. he gives beomgyu a moment.

after minutes of tears and uneven, heavy breaths, the nurse slowly makes his way over to beomgyu. "hello sir. i'm here to talk to you about kim y/n," beomgyu looks up at the nurse. he hated those sympathetic eyes. "can we discuss her incident?" beomgyu nodded. "what happened?"

"y/n came in with water in her lungs and barely enough oxygen in her. by the time someone had called the police, she had been in the water for too long. we have a witness who claims to have seen her make an attempt to commit su!c!de." beomgyu couldn't believe what he was hearing. his head turns to you in the slowest way possible. "you said that life meant more. you said that i should live my life. that it was beautiful! that you wanted to live your life with me! you're the reason why i'm still here! YOU'RE THE REASON WHY I'M STILL LIVING!" the nurse takes beomgyu's figure and pulls him up to take a seat.

"i'm kang taehyun. and i wanted to make sure this information got to you. that we are extremely sorry that we were not able to save her." beomgyu was mad. not at the hospital for not being able to save her. not at the witness for taking too long to call. not at you for even thinking of doing this. but he was mad at himself. he was mad that he hadn't noticed. he was mad that all this time, he was so focused on how you had helped him that he didn't even help you. he was mad that he missed a chance on being caring and more thoughtful towards you. but little did he know, he was. he was everything to you. he was why you even stopped thinking about all of this.

but most of all, he hated how ironic this was for all this to happen on the anniversary of your meeting. the day he met you, he had wanted to take his own life. and now to this day, one of the two of you was doing the same thing once again. and it wasn’t him.

the nurse had walked him out after beomgyu had settled all the terms to your death. it was honestly dangerous for beomgyu to be driving right now. but he really did not care. what was a life without you when you're his reason to live. to give himself a chance. to give this life a chance. his drive back home was silent even with all the car horns beeping and people speaking outside.

once he reaches your shared home, he's come face to face with a letter right on top of the coffee table. one with your handwriting on the front, written i'm sorry gyu. and a single flower right next to it. he recognized it immediately. a chrysanthemum. he couldn't help out a chuckle. he swore if someone saw him right now, he'd be known as a psycho. but it just reminded him.

"why do you like these flowers anyway? they're not even your favorites." beomgyu asked. you had liked little flowers. like baby's breath or gypsophila. "it means the life of death and symbolic for grief of the loss of a loved one," he hated that you smiled at that. "it's a reminder to me. to us. isn't it?" he watched you look over to him with sparkling eyes and he fell in love all over again. "i love you."

"gyu.. i come to this field every year because it tells me how far you've made it. each year i come here with you is another year that i get to spend with you. beomgyu..," he felt the way your arms wrapped around him softly. "you don't know how much coming here means to me." he pulls you into his embrace and pats your head with soft strokes.

chrysanthemums growing were the first sign of spring. it was also a reminder. again and again. about what you can have with him if you could survive this toxic disease. this toxic thinking that has a way of grabbing you every now and then and swaying you like a doll. of course, he knew the feeling too. all too well actually. and you honestly don't know why you were never able to tell him. but you would forever be grateful for the way beomgyu made you feel. for making you feel loved. for making you feel special. and for making you feel like the only person in his world.

beomgyu finds himself slowly opening the letter with trembling hands. he really didn't want to read this. it'd be like he had to accept all of this.

"hey gyu. i'm sorry that it had to come to this. if you're reading this right now, you probably think it's unfair. after all this time of me saying all those things, i do exactly what i kept you from doing. i'm sorry. you probably never even expected it. i hope you didn't. cause with you, i was happy. it was the only time in my life, i ever felt genuinely happy. happy for me. happy for us. i thought that helping you would somehow also end up helping me. but it's gotten worse, gyu. way worse. i've done a horrible thing and i think you'll never forgive me for this. but i needed to let you go. let myself go. i know it's selfish but until you saw that you have such a life ahead of you, i couldn't leave. not when there was so much you had to live for. this wasn't always the plan. at some point, i realized that maybe i could get through it. maybe. just maybe i could just live for you. and it kept my mind off of all the negative space for a while. a few months actually. but the dark is rather special. it has this way to creep on you when you're at your most weak and vulnerable state. you see, the thing is. you have so much talent and opportunities on your side. while me... i only have fate. and someone once told me that fate is a funny thing. the path towards the destination may alter its course at any time but the destination, it will never change. i was always meant to go this way. with so much pushing me towards it, i had to give in. i don't expect you to forgive me but i hope someday you'll accept my decision. i love you, choi beomgyu. forever and always."

he pulls out the velvet box that was in his hand a few hours ago and stares down at it. for a future that once could’ve been.

warmth ― c.beomgyu x f.reader

wc: 4,1k. 

genre: frenemies to lovers, fluff (sometimes), suggestive, smut.

summary: you and beomgyu used to be childhood bestfriends, but you drifted apart and became more dismissive of each other. you both snicker and tease each other, but there's always a feeling of something more being there. perhaps a beach trip can manage to make you guys closer, maybe closer than ever.

cw: smut obviously, dry humping, masturbation (male), dry humping.

note: my second post! first post where i've written something with more advanced smut/suggestive content, hope you enjoy it. (not fully proofread)

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the ride to the choi family’s vacation home was long and tiring. your limbs were starting to feel numb after a ride filled with just sitting down and looking through the window.

when your mom told you that you’d be going on a road trip with the choi’s, this wasn’t what you had in mind.

you were squished between the choi siblings, uncomfortably moving around. with some of the luggage being placed on one of the backseats, the space back there was very little.

he was sitting by your side. his little sister next to him, as you tried your best to focus on the landscapes and not the uncomfortable position you were in.

“lily, stop moving around!” he scolded, trying to keep his sister from pushing him against you repeatedly.

“oh please, like you don’t move around twice as much.” you let out, looking back at him.

“why is it about me now?!” beomgyu shouted, then crossing his arms and looking away.

seconds later, the highway had more and more turns which made the car turn aggressively from one side to another. ms.choi wasn’t really the most chill driver. with each turn of the wheels beomgyu got thrown against you, making it harder to ignore the situation.

then, at one last turn beomgyu was done with being thrown around like a rag doll. once the car was turning again, he placed his one hand against the car door and the other one against the car seat, using them to stay in place. however, he didn’t predict how much it would close the distance between him and you. this new position made him corner you between the door and his side.

you were caught off guard to say the least. after doing your best at ignoring the turns, beomgyu's act woke you up right away. you looked up at him with confusion.

he refused to look at you though, feeling slightly embarrassed now. but it didn't stop you from keeping your eyes fixed on him, in an attempt to make him feel even more embarrassed.

that completely backfired though. soon enough, you found yourself trailing his soft features, surprised you hadn't realized how handsome beomgyu was. the furrows of his brows, the barely noticeable bite on his lips out of nervousness, his eyes looking to the side, all of it united in harmony.

finally, he met your gaze. the connection was enough to stop your daydreaming and realize it was him, annoying childhood friend beomgyu. he looked... irritated, and it made you irritated. because, why the hell would he be the one mad at you? he's the one invading your personal space!

he moved away from the door and you abruptly, sitting back down and grabbing his headphones quickly. after that response, you couldn't help but get annoyed. what's his deal?? you thought. you shrugged it off and decided to close your eyes and get some rest.

"wake up guys, we're here!" beomgyu's mom said with enthusiasm as she started taking the bags out of the trunk in a rush.

glimpses of light and a blurry view of the car seats flashed as you slowly opened your eyes. as you were  gradually waking up, you felt some sort of warmness against your cheek. confused, you looked down and around without moving too much. then it hit you.

beomgyu's chest felt warm and soft against your cheek, heaving up and down slowly. the arm he had on your shoulder kept you comfortably in place against him. you had fallen asleep against beomgyu, and he was holding you.

how did that even happen? you asked yourself. unsure what to do, you started to slide off of him in silent movements, trying your best not to wake him up.

"just go, i woke up like five minutes ago." he sighed, keeping his eyes closed and sliding his arm off your shoulder lazily.

"oh" you looked down, hiding your face from him (even though he still kept his eyes closed). "um, okay." you got up and stepped out of the car hurriedly.

"he could've woken me up or something! seriously!" you grumbled while walking into the room to unpack.

you unpacked your outside clothes, skincare, technology items, underwear, and other needs and stored them in the closet and bathroom. you felt at ease now that you were installed and that you had cleaned up your space.

the overwhelming space of the closet and room annoyed you though, what was the closet so big for? why was everything in that room in pairs?  this room is for one, isn't it? i mean sure the queen sized bed is a bit big, but i've slept alone in a bed for two before! your thoughts were all over the place, starting to get worried. they wouldn't make me share this room.... would they?

"what are you doing here?"

the familiar voice interrupted your train of thought, making you freeze. you couldn't believe it, your worst fear had come through. slowly turning around, you came face to face with beomgyu.

"what do you mean "what are you doing here?", this is my room...?" you replied in annoyance.

"pretty sure it's my room and my bed you're sitting on" beomgyu retorted while dropping his bags, stepping closer to your spot.

"you're kidding..." you looked at him, your face exposing your confusion to him.

"oh you'd wish i were, but i'm not." he scoffed. "i believe my mom didn't tell you, or me, that we'd be sharing my room." he sat down on the other side of the bed and pulled out his phone to scroll on it.

after a few seconds of processing this new information, you sighed and looked around. "i'm taking the bed" you stated.

"hell no! this is my bed y/n." he replied looking up from his phone, shocked you even thought of doing that.

"oh yeah? too bad." you retorted while lying down to take more space up. "unless you want to sleep by my side, you're not sleeping on the bed." you added in amusement, while stretching your arms.

"okay."

"what?"

"i said okay. i don't care if you use it too, i am not sleeping on the damn floor." beomgyu concluded while standing up to go to the balcony.

"fine! but don't complain later!" you shouted as he walked away. you weren't sure how to feel about it. you and beomgyu were not the closest friends, hell, you were like enemies. but you guessed it wouldn't matter that much, it was just beomgyu after all. you could easily ignore him.

later at the beach, 3pm. 

the heat of the sun burning your skin felt warm and cozy, making your limbs feel heavy, your body relaxing completely. you didn't sunbathe that often, but it definitely was a good decision to make today. the sun was slightly strong, a nice breeze soothing the fiery rays of it. the sound of waves crushing nearby created a peaceful melody. you couldn't feel any better.

nevertheless, you knew it wasn't good for your skin to be this exposed, not like you wanted to get health problems from some little UV rays. therefore, you reached out your hand to grab the bottle of tanning oil infused with spf that was sitting in the sand next to your towel. it felt like you were moving weights with how much effort you put into reaching for it.

"mom!" you called "mom! help me with the oil please!" you kept shouting, but it was useless, she was playing with lily far away. 

"you really can't keep quiet, can you?" beomgyu's raspy voice came from another side. you turned, finding him sitting down near you, his arms placed on each side of his towel, staring at the sea.

"when the hell did you get there? i thought i was alone." you answered while frowning at him. you really can't get a break can you? although you had to say, it was nice to know you weren't left alone.

"i was in the water, can't you tell from the wet hair? or are you just slow like that?" he mocked as he ran his fingers through his wet hair.

you rolled your eyes in response, he was right tho. his hair was wet, the t-shirt he had on was soaked, outlining his toned abdomen and muscles- that wasn't important. "whatever. where's my mom?"

"she's with lily, i don't think she'll be coming your way for a while." he yawned as he started to stand up, making the sand around him go towards you.

"watch it with the sand!" you scolded.

"oh?" he said, flashing a malicious smile. "what if i don't?" he started to shake the sand off his body, making it land on yours.

"so that's how it is! okay choi beomgyu! come here!" you shouted as you stood up and grabbed a handful of sand.

"oh shit" he mumbled before starting to run away towards the sea.

"that's what i thought!" you yelled while chasing him and throwing sand at him, every landing of sand making his back arch.

eventually, you both ended up going into the sea, swimming around and fighting with splashes of water. your laughs and shouting echoed as you fought. that was until a big wave started to approach you both.

you always had a slight fear of waves, since you were a little kid. beomgyu knew it too, you didn't love going too deep into the sea. those big waves freaked you the fuck out.

"beomgyu..." you paused while looking at the wave "beomgyu..!" you screamed getting more scared as it came closer. you moved towards the shore as you panicked, but it felt useless.

just as you accepted your fate and closed your eyes, you felt someone come and hold you tightly. beomgyu took you into his embrace, pressing you against his chest and hiding your face in it.

"i got you." he whispered, comforting you. looking at the wave, he watched how it was now significantly smaller. he held in a chuckle, knowing you forgot how much they change.

the warmth of beomgyu's body reassures you, making you feel safe and protected. your cheeks burned a bit at the thought of having his chest against you like this, but it didn't last long as you heard him let out a small chuckle. he couldn't hold it in anymore.

"w-what. why are you laughing?" you asked, dumbfounded.

"that wave was so tiny y/n! you worried over nothing!" he laughed softly, separating you from him, and letting you look around to find the small wave that passed. but the wave was the last thing you were focused on now.

his smile. his smile was beautiful, he was glowing. the earlier burn of your cheeks returned with the sight of his handsome face and cheerful laugh. it was like he was charming you.

"just- shut up!" you mumbled, snapping out of it, completely embarrassed. you turned away from him in hurried movements, leaving to go to shore.

"hey! i didn't mean it like that!-" he stammered, feeling a bit guilty after that comment. he didn't mean to make fun of you, not this time. but you were already walking towards the house, with your bag in hand. 

"fuck.." he hid his face in his hand as he sighed. it's not like he wanted to make you feel dumb about it, he knew you were scared. he gave up and left to go back to the house as well.

at the beach house, 7:30pm.

there was nothing that soothed beomgyu more than a late night shower. the warm water hitting his skin felt heavenly, as it made all of his worries fade. he sighed in relief as he rubbed the citrus scent soap all over his chest.

all of a sudden (strangely enough), the memory of your body pressed against that same chest came to his mind. the shape of your breasts that pressed so cutely onto his chest. your waist that was radiating body heat against his hand. the memory of your curves in his hold clouded his mind.

"what is wrong with me..." he sighed while looking down at the semi-erection that was growing between his legs.

his hand reached down for his cock, softly holding it and rubbing it at a slow pace. the image of your plump ass and back as you laid on your towel showed up, making his grip on his hard member stronger. soft whimpers started to come out of the boy's mouth, resonating in the shower walls.

"ah.. shit.." his free hand came up to cover his mouth in an attempt to muffle his sinful sounds. each stroke to his cock became more rough, intensifying his shame.

but honestly, could you blame him? you looked so cute. your hands grabbing onto his arms, your face hidden in his broad chest. and then, your boobs. god he loved them, loved how they felt against him, heaving up and down, wet by the salty sea water. he wondered how they'd feel in his hands, in his mouth, anywhere really…

the desperate tugs at his cock were turning frantic as he chased his high. he couldn't help but let out muffled moans, closing his eyes to picture you better. it was a sinful image, poor boy, touching himself desperately, while thinking of you. his shame was discarded to a corner of his mind, as he focused on the intense pleasure rushing through him.

"oh fuck- y/n-" he groaned as an intense wave of pleasure overcame him. hot spurts of cum painted his abdomen white, his cock twitching. the tiny rivers of water wiped the pearly stains off his stomach. and then, reality hit him. did he just cum while thinking of you? he turned off the shower and stepped out wrapping a towel around his waist quickly.

"finally! i started to think you'd just sleep in the shower." you stated, looking up at him from the bed. you had been waiting to use the shower for about 10 minutes now, and as much fun as scrolling through tik tok is, you were tired.

"w-when did you get here?" he questioned in panic.

"like... 5 minutes ago? maybe more. I don't know!" you replied nonchalantly. "do you shower with a shirt?" you joked. he was wearing the towel around his waist and yet he had a shirt on. what kind of outfit is that?

"huh? oh." he said looking down at the towel. "hey i might be a jerk sometimes, but i have modesty and basic respect. i'm not gonna carelessly flash you." he retorted while frowning.

"relax! i was just messing with you! god." you laughed and then got up to use the shower. "you better have not used up all the warm water choi beomgyu."

"guess you'll find out if i did!" he teased as he reached for the closet, looking for a pair of boxers to wear. he decided to put what happened in the shower past him, and to focus on other things.

late night, beach house, 11pm.

"this internet connection is seriously bad." you frown as you stare at the single bar on the wifi icon. "it's practically useless."

"you know where the connection's better? anywhere that's not my bed." beomgyu counters as he stands in front of the bed with his arms crossed, with a mediocre smile.

"stop being a bitch about it. either you share it or you bear it." you replied as you tucked yourself in bed, sighing in content as you felt the soft silk sheets. "huh, never knew you had good taste in sheets. or in anything for that matter."

"i'll have you know i have way better taste than you." he grumbled as he turned to get himself in the bed as well. he hesitated for a second, but he later climbed on the bed and covered himself with the same sheets.

"hey, um, if you really want your bed.. i could try sleeping on the couch.." you said softly as your back faced him.

he turned to be met with the outline of your figure in the dark. "it's late y/n. let's just sleep." he answered.

"i'm serious tho, i don't want you to be uncomf-" your words were cut off as you felt him get closer to you, his weight making the mattress shift.

"shut up and go to sleep y/n." he whispered against your neck, his voice low and deep. his tone was so intimate and yet it felt unfamiliar, it made you shiver. after saying that, he shifted again and turned his back on you too. were you going crazy? did beomgyu just make you blush with a single sentence?

your cheeks were flushed and you had a strange feeling in your stomach, but you shut your eyes and forced yourself to go to sleep. you shouldn't be feeling like that, not because of him.

the next morning, at the beach house, around 6am.

rays of sunshine came through the large window in front of the bed you slept on. you frowned as you struggled to open your eyes, not even sure you wanted to open them. everything felt so warm, cozy, safe even... you weren't sure what it was, but you never wanted to get out of bed. you finally managed to open your eyes, looking at the blurry light coming from the window.

you started to become more aware of your surroundings as you woke up, you tried to stretch until you realized something was holding you back. beomgyu's arms were heavy on your frame, trapping you between them. his mouth was slightly open, his eyes closed, his hair a ruffled mess. once it hit you that he was cuddling you, heat rose to your face. it's like he's some sort of magnet. you thought.

you couldn't quite see him, since your back was right on him. you weren't sure what to do, should you move away? should you just wait until he wakes up? what if he does and he sees you like this? no good solution came to your mind. and that moment, you stopped thinking at once.

something was definitely poking the end of your back, if not your ass. it can't be, can it? he's a man after all, you guess it would make sense. but still, you can't process whether or not it's what you believe.

trying to understand the situation better, you move your hips gently in an awkward attempt at feeling whatever was there. yeah, it's definitely what you think it is. it makes sense though, men can wake up with it. however, you don't know how it got to the point in which you guys cuddled, and it ended up pressing against you like that.

you figure it would be best to move away from him, so you start squirming and moving around as gently as possible. but the outcome is something you didn't predict. beomgyu's hands travel down to your hips and grab them, pressing them against himself further and stilling them.

"if i didn't know any better, i'd think you're trying to do something else." beomgyu murmured against your neck, his morning voice raspy and deep. his hands on your hips caused you to let out a soft whimper, which you abruptly covered with your hand.

"it's not like that- i- we woke up like this beomgyu.." your words came out rushed, you could try to explain yourself, but really what good would it do.

"i know, im fucking with you." he softly chuckled as he opened his eyes to look at you. it was annoying how good he looked, he really did glow in the morning sunshine.

"um, your hands. they're still on my hi-" you commented and tried to squirm away from him again. but just as you did that, beomgyu felt a flash of pleasure go over him, letting out a groan.

"oh fuck-" he groaned as his eyes closed. his hands gripped your hips even harder, making you feel a certain pressure that made your mind spiral. "im sorry, shit, sorry." he mumbled, now a bit ashamed. he was about to move away from you, until he noticed how red your face was, and how erratic your breath was. were you enjoying this..?

"i-it's okay, it's only natural.." you said with your cheeks flushed. you didn't want to admit it, but his bulge was pressing right against your clothed core, his every movement making you more sensitive to him. you could feel a small patch start to form gradually, it was embarrassing how easily he was unconsciously turning you on.

"y/n.." he said quietly, his mind starting to get lost on how good you felt on him. "you feel really good.." he sighed, making you shiver by how his hot breath fell on your shoulder. his hips thrusted up into you unconsciously, making his breath hitch.

"ah- gyu!" the childhood nickname you had for him came out of your mouth in instinct, as you felt him rub himself against your (now wet) core. you couldn't help but buck your hips against his in return, letting out a small whimper.

"fuck, c-can i?" he whimpered, his hips moving by themselves in slightly faster movements. his grip on your hips was starting to feel bruising, but it only made you more excited.

"please don't st- mphh" you said until you were silenced by beomgyu's lips on yours. his kiss was hot and feverish, making you dizzy. he started teasing you with his tongue, threatening to come in. and you let him, you tangled your tongue with his and started to kiss him like it was your last kiss ever.

"gyu-" you moved away to gasp for air, but beomgyu leaned in anyway, eyes closed, lips parted, absolutely wanting more. he didn't want to waste any second of this. he kept thrusting into your soaked panties, creating a delicious friction that made you gasp with each thrust of his hips.

"if i'd known you felt so amazing i would've done this way sooner." he growled while moving his hands to your waist, grasping it like his life depended on it. he then turned you around to lay you flat against the mattress, climbing on top of you shortly after.

"yeah?" you grinned. "then make up for the wasted time, gyu." you said between heavy breaths. he started to pick up his pace, his new position hitting you perfectly, bringing you closer to your edge with every snap of his hips.

"you know, i always tell you to keep quiet. ah-" his words came out broken, his hips stuttering "but the sounds coming from you right now are fucking heavenly."

you wince and grip him at his nape, a handful of his messy hair in your hand. he immediately reacts to it with a loud whimper, his cock can't help but twitch at that, and you feel it. every single thing this man is doing, is spurring you on further, you feel like you're insane.

"i'm close" you whisper as you close your eyes in anticipation.

"fuck no, open your eyes." he says as he lifts your chin up to face him. "if you cum, you do it while looking at me." he commands.

your eyes struggle to remain open, but your gaze never leaves his. you feel the knot in your stomach is about to snap, and you grab onto the sheets on top of your head.

soon enough, you feel the knot in your stomach snap,  all while staring into beomgyu's eyes, feeling like he's put you in a trance.

he followed suit, his orgasm washing over him like a big wave. his cock twitched as it stained your underwear with numerous white threads. you felt every one of them as they left a warmth on your pulsating core. beomgyu managed to partly muffle his last moan by hiding his face in your neck, his ears red and his cheeks burning.

you closed your eyes, coming down from your high. your chest heaved up and down, trying to gain air back into itself. you two just did that, it felt unreal.

"gyu.." you called out as you stared at the ceiling.

the boy didn't move from your neck, still breathing into it as he tried to come down from his high. however, he nodded and rubbed his nose against your collarbone as a way of acknowledgement.

"does this mean we won't annoy the shit out of each other anymore?" you asked.

"of course not dumbass, where's the fun in that?" he answered with heavy breaths and a little smirk.

you chuckled and then brought your hand up to play with his hair. it didn't need to be said, but you both knew that this was something bound to happen for a while now. you guys couldn't stay enemies forever, after all, you got the best of both worlds now.

"i thought so." you whispered before moving yourself back into his hold and falling asleep.

part 2 is posted here!

© kiztae 2023

random bf!beomgyu texts/tweets

warnings : cursing, mentions of argument

a/n : i've been inactive for wayyy too long and this has been sitting in my drafts for a while so i thought i'd post it. some texts/tweets are related/continued from the previous one, others are not. hope it makes sense lol.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

fluff/crack:

*foot!

∘₊✧

angst/comfort:

heartbreak haven — choi line

synopsis. what is it like to fall in love? what does it mean to love? were two questions—of many—that’d you’d wondered as you’d headed into your senior year of high school. it was supposed to be one of the best years of your life—the last year you’d be afforded youthful, drunken mistakes, before life would force you to sober up to its harsh realities. however, when you crossed paths with three particular boys, your questions were answered—intricately and deeply. yet, why did your heart hurt so, so much?

pairing(s). choi line x gender-neutral!reader ft. soobin x karina & (a hint of) soobin x yeonjun

genre(s). angst (!!!!! it’s literally all just angst), coming-of-age, drama, fluff (very very little), highschool au, romance.

warnings. alcohol consumption, allusions to cheating, cheating, mentions of blood & gore, partying, rebounding, underage drinking, and more warnings will be included in each individual part. rated PG 15.

total word count. 8k

taglist. @yeonyeonyeonjun​ if you’d like to be tagged in each part when i post them, feel free to send me an ask or dm me!! 

notes. before reading any of these fics, i’d like to make it abundantly clear that i don’t condone nor support the actions of the characters in this series. i didn’t write this series originally to romanticise their actions (especially reader’s and soobin’s in the later part’s). all i wanted to do was write some love stories about confused, young teenagers. i feel like we can relate to, at least one of, these stories in some capacity & even reading these fics can provide a different perspective from the ones we’ve previously had. i’d just like for us to keep that in mind every time reader makes you want to scream LOL. besides that, i hope you guys enjoy this little series!! it means a lot to me ♡♡ also happy beom day! tee hee

▷ autumn breeze, choi yeonjun.

it was the fateful beginning to the last year of your high school life and you were starting off fresh. new town, new school, new you. after some messy love, choi yeonjun was looking for a fresh start too, leading you two to finding each other. however, as you would soon learn, nothing in high school lasts forever. not even your favourite autumn breeze.

▷ butterflies, choi soobin.

you’d never understood it before. the shy glances, whispered words of affection, traded glances that only you two were privy to understanding. then, a blue boy had waltzed into your life, drawing you in with his warm eyes, his wide smile, his sweet laugh, his cool gaze—his everything. butterflies had bloomed in your chest, and you’d let them, even though you’d known they’d eventually be ripped out. leaving you with a gaping hole where your heart used to be.

▷ blushed cheeks & burned hearts, choi beomgyu. 

finally, you were starting to understand the mistakes of your drunken youth. drunk on love? lies? hope? you weren’t too sure what your vice was, but you were sure it’d left you with a burned heart. a burned heart, which a boy with blushed cheeks and sweaty hands was too eager to fix.

copyright 2022 sensitively-taken, all rights reserved. no translations or reposts of any form allowed.

iii. blushed cheeks & burned hearts — choi beomgyu

synopsis. finally, you were starting to understand the mistakes of your drunken youth. drunk on love? lies? hope? you weren’t too sure what your vice was, but you were sure it’d left you with a burned heart. a burned heart, which a boy with blushed cheeks and sweaty hands was too eager to fix.

pairing(s). choi beomgyu x gender-neutral!reader ft. (mentions of) soobin x reader & yeonjun x reader.

genre(s). angst, coming-of-age, drama, highschool au.

warnings. alcohol consumption, rebounding, partying, underage drinking. rated PG 15.

word count. 2.5k (2527)

taglist. @yeonyeonyeonjun if you’d like to be tagged in each part when i post them, feel free to send me an ask or dm me!!

listen to! run, JOJI ⭑ urs, NIKI ⭑ save room for us, tinashe ⭑ fever, dua lipa ft angèle ⭑ roller coaster, CHUNGHA

notes. i can’t believe the last part of heartbreak haven is already here 😭😭 ty guys SMMMMM for all the love & support you’ve given the series 🤧🤧 i rlly appreciate it & i hope this last part ties things up neatly. enjoy 🥰🥰

Sometimes, you wished you’d never met Choi Beomgyu. (And, other times, you wished he had never met you.)

Like, right now, head slumped against the cash register as he went on and on about his favourite show.

“_____, are you even listening?” His voice was whiny—it always was—and you visibly cringed at the voice crack halfway through. A red tint lit up his cheeks, as he cleared his throat. “Never mind.”

As Beomgyu disappeared back into the kitchen, his break finally over, you spared the diner’s clock a glance. You’d been glancing at it for the past hour of your shift, ever since he’d failed to show up. He was never late—at least, not this late—so his absence caused your fingers to twitch and a crease to form between your eyebrows.

Where was he?

The bell rang, startling you out of your slouch. Putting the register in order, the greeting tumbled past your lips before you caught a glance of the newcomer. “Welcome to Blue Diner, where we serve everyone’s favourite Korean meals infused with an element of—“

“50’s American fast food dishes?” the person interrupted, drawing your eyes up to them.

A slow grin grew on your lips, while you rolled your eyes. “Fuck, Jun, you almost gave me a heart attack there. I was considering ditching the register to check if you were dead in a ditch somewhere.”

Yeonjun shrugged noncommittally, a ghost of a smile (the most he ever smiled) on his face. “Sorry to burst your bubble, sweetheart, but I’m alive.”

“Then, why didn’t you come earlier?” Purposely pouting, you let your voice get a little whiny—just like Beomgyu’s. “I had to listen to his ass babble on about another one of his stupid shows. When will he get it through his thick skull that I don’t want to talk to him?”

“Hey, _____,” he winced slightly, “Don’t you think you’re being a bit too harsh? It’s not his fault your parents made you work here. The kid’s just probably excited to have a coworker his age.”

Yeonjun was right, he almost always was, but the reminder of the night your parents insisted you got a job was still too fresh. You could tell he knew as well from the apology spilling from his eyes.

Shaking your head, you muttered, “Let’s just… let’s not talk about that. How was your day?”

And, like there weren’t any delays or hitches, you and your best friend settled into your groove again. He made dry quips, you laughed so hard your sides hurt, and you could forget the fact that you were in a uniform you didn’t want to be in.

Meanwhile, Beomgyu stood by the kitchen door, your words replaying in his head.

“Are you and Choi Yeonjun dating?” was Beomgyu’s question that startled you on a cold, late night. It was minutes before your shift ended, the diner was empty, and you’d had a long day. The last things you were in the mood for were Beomgyu, his curious eyes, and his curious questions.

You were going to ignore him—roll your eyes and move on—but the mention of Yeonjun’s name made your stomach flip, but not in a good way. Immediately, your eyes drifted to your phone, hoping—praying, almost—that his name would illuminate the screen. But, no, there wasn’t anything there.

You hadn’t seen Yeonjun in three days now.

Exhaling deeply, you mumbled, “No. It’s not like that between us.”

“Really?” he sat in the chair across the counter, a rag in his hand in case your manager came out, “I was almost sure you were. There’s a certain chemistry between you that most friends don’t have… Y’know?”

“Maybe you just don’t have good friends,” you snapped. The remark stung, you could tell from the way Beomgyu smiled–so wide and so forced–and you buried your head in your hands. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.”

His smile grew, in size and sorrow. “No, it’s true. I don’t have many friends, in school and outside of it. The few friends I have… I feel like they have to be friends with me. Y’know? Or, maybe you don’t. You and Yeonjun are tight.”

“No,” you blurted out without thinking, only realising what you said as Beomgyu raised an eyebrow.

Biting your lip, you debated taking a break—to get away from Beomgyu, his prying questions, his prying eyes—but something within you was waiting for this moment. Waiting to pour past the dam that’d been constructed since Yeonjun had started avoiding you.

So, sighing deeply, the dam broke loose. “I don’t think Yeonjun cares about our friendship anymore.”

“What?” Beomgyu was loud, and his eyes held the same amount of incredulity you’d felt when you reached that conclusion. Resting his chin on his hands, he leaned in. “How’re you so sure about that?”

“Hm, I don’t know, maybe it’s him not texting me for three days straight, avoiding me when I try to talk to him, and even skipping classes so he doesn’t have to see me?” There was a noticeable strain in your voice, one that caused a frown on Beomgyu’s lips. Shrugging, you repeated, “Maybe. Just maybe.”

A heavy silence settled over the two of you, your confession weighing on your heart. It’d been one thing to think he was avoiding you, think he was going to extreme lengths just to make sure he didn’t have to see you. It was another to acknowledge that and verbalise it out loud. It almost confirmed your thought, even if you could only confirm it from Yeonjun himself. That thought, that crippling, scary thought that Yeonjun didn’t care about you anymore.

A lone tear slipped down your face—one you wiped away at quickly, yet Beomgyu still managed to see.

Placing a hand on yours, he muttered, “Does it burn? Your heart?”

“What?”

“Your heart burns, right?” He avoided your eyes, his voice wobbly and his hand on yours sweaty. “It’s not exactly like heartbreak, the type you feel when you break up with someone you love. It’s more like… your heart misses something, someone, so much that it aches… Do you get it?”

Slowly, you realised, as you became increasingly aware of the blood rushing in your ears, Beomgyu was right.

You hated that Beomgyu was right. You hated that your heart ached, pained, burned from the absence of one person. You hated that Yeonjun could do this to you—was doing it to you. You hated all of it.

Swallowing the ache, the pain, the burn, you glanced at your phone’s screen. Reading the 11:00 PM on the screen caused a spark to spring up in your chest, a thought forming. With one, final swallow, you clasped his hand back and smirked. “How do you feel about a walk home?”

As you watched a dark blush spread across his cheeks and felt his hand sweat even more, a sense of satisfaction and relief grew within you.

You were going to fan this spark, till you burned.

Beomgyu was no longer right.

Instead of the familiar, dull ache your heart nursed (barely nursed; the ache was festering into a wound but you kept the ugliness wrapped under gel and gauze), your heart was torn into pieces. The pieces were scattered all over the place, bloody and torn from the butterflies fighting to get through. With every empty inhale and exhale, you were sorely reminded the butterflies had won.

Beomgyu knew how to deal with a burned heart (didn’t just know how to deal with one—he was constantly nursing one of his own), but not a broken one.

He could mend—ever-so-slowly—the Yeonjun-shaped wound in your heart to take his shape and fit his ridges. He could soothe the ache on the days it was particularly bad, with his encouraging words and sweet smiles. He could even rip the bandaid off when needed, only to quiet down your cries with rubbing alcohol and patterned plasters.

But, picking up bloody, torn pieces was something he couldn’t do.

So, when you invited him to a house party, told him everything was fine, you were fine, and the party would be fine, he didn’t question anything. Instead, he spent hours picking out an outfit, lined his lips with extra chapstick (the sweet strawberry one you would end up kissing one too many times), and put the brightest smile on his face. The only worry he had, as he looked himself over one more time and ruffled his dark brown hair was, If we kiss, who will _____ imagine in my place? The blue boy, or the autumn breeze?

(It was him, Choi Beomgyu, you imagined but you never told him that.)

Like you’d told him, the party started off fine. He blushed when you two met up, stuttering through his compliment. You returned the sentiment, especially focusing on his pink lips and ruffled hair. It was hard to tell, under the flashing lights, but you were almost sure he’d gone red at that.

Then, things started to go awry. Alcohol was ingested, people were spotted, and suddenly Beomgyu’s comforting arm around your waist didn’t feel so comforting. Instead, you craved the cold—that light, crisp cold that came with autumn—and its bittersweet touch.

A smirk stretched your lips, one so empty and so cold, as you whispered in Beomgyu’s ear, “Wanna go off somewhere quiet?”

He paused. He knew what that meant. That your fingers would get tangled in his messy locks, your lips would move against each other, that—for a few moments—he would be more than the annoying coworker to you. And, while his heart ached less with the thought, he could feel a piece of the organ rip, barely managing to hold on to the rest of the mass.

Yet, licking his lips and wiping his sweaty hands, he mumbled a quiet, “Yes.”

And, you two were off, out into the cold where you felt the most at home.

Beomgyu paused when you sat down on a bare bench, closing your eyes against the wind whipping at your face. He didn’t know what to do, whether it would even be okay for him to sit on the other side of the bench while you communed with the cold. But, there was a growing itch to ask a question, one that he was practically pushing back from tumbling past his lips.

You peeked out through an eye, chuckling dryly at the sight of his wide ones. “Is something wrong? You wanna go back inside?”

“N-no, no!” He shook his head frantically, as a flush spread across his cheeks (from the cold or his usual embarrassment, you couldn’t tell. In the cold, it was always hard to tell.) “I just thought you wanted to come out here for something different. Like, maybe—”

“To make out?” There was an amused lilt in your voice, but your eyes were tired. (Beomgyu didn’t know which one was telling the truth.) “I’m not surprised you think that, after all I’ve told you. But… but no. ‘Just wanted to feel the last of the autumn breeze.”

Beomgyu sat down on the opposite side, trying not to break the silence with his little sniffles. But, he couldn’t help but blurt out, “Do you mean the actual autumn breeze, or... or Yeonjun?”

The silence resumed, only interrupted by the wind’s howls, while Beomgyu stared at you expectantly. Your eyes were closed, and your head was thrown back, like he hadn’t asked anything. But, from the twitch around your mouth to the obvious movement behind your eyelids, he could tell you were consumed by his question.

You almost always were (sometimes, you wished you weren’t).

Breaking the silence with a heavy sigh, you replied, “How would you feel if I said both? If I wanted to talk to Yeonjun again and say goodbye to autumn at the same time?”

“If you said both?” he repeated, staring at the side of your face, while you kept your eyes closed. “I’d tell you I can help you forget about the former.”

Your eyes flew open. “Help me?”

Beomgyu shifted forward, eyes flitting to the ground. “Yeah… I’m always here if you need me, _____.”

Slowly, you pieced his hints together—the chapstick, the ruffled hair, his sudden boldness. You shook your head. “I’m not using you as a rebound, Gyu. You’re more than that.”

“But isn’t that how we started off?” he challenged, raising an eyebrow. “You think I didn’t realise what you were doing? Replacing Yeonjun with me on your walks, _____?”

Guilt shined in your eyes, even as you shook your head again. “I… Yeah, I filled Yeonjun’s presence with yours. But, not to get over his absence—at least, not completely. I saw we were in the same boat, so I thought it’d be best if we stuck together. That’s not rebounding… right? It isn’t, right?”

He didn’t answer. Instead, he shifted closer to you, turning his body to face yours. “Even if it is, I don’t care. You can use me as a rebound, as many times as you want.”

“No, _____,” you refused, but your voice was growing weaker and your eyes were flickering to his lips like they had at the beginning of the party. “I don’t want to hurt you. Not like… like he did to me.”

“But, are you really hurting me if I’m aware? Are you really hurting me if I want you to? If I don’t mind?”

The wind whistled a short answer, which was followed by a slow shake of your head.

Beomgyu smiled, a bittersweet sight. “Then?”

“Are you just saying this because you wanna kiss me?” you asked, laughing shortly after and dissipating all the tension that’d built up.

As you expected, his cheeks flushed deeply and he avoided your gaze, suddenly finding your shoes the most interesting thing on the patio.

Rolling your eyes and leaning forward, you whispered, “Then, why didn’t you just ask? Just tell me straight-up you want to kiss me, instead of bringing up all that rebound bullshit.”

“It’s that easy?” he asked, eyes widening. “I just had to tell you I want to kiss you? Really?”

“I mean, no? But, yes? For you, it’s easy. I trust you. I know you won’t misinterpret my feelings just because we kissed, and I know you won’t hurt me either. So, I don’t have to think much about it.”

(He wouldn’t hurt you, but how you were so sure you wouldn’t him?)

He leaned in, your breaths mingling with each other and scents mixing. Eyes focused on your eyes, your lips, your eyes, your—

“Well?” you mocked his tone from earlier, as you draped your arms around his neck. “Are you gonna kiss me, or should I kiss you?”

His beautiful blush spread across his cheeks again, eyes darting everywhere now. “Kiss me please.”

“Your wish is my command,” you quipped, smiling and closing the distance between you two.

And, while you two kissed, soft and slow—a question hanging over your heads of what would become of your relationship now—the reflection of Yeonjun in Beomgyu’s eyes didn’t leave your mind.

You didn’t think your burned, torn heart would be mended.

Ever.

i. autumn breeze | ii. butterflies

copyright 2022 soobisms, all rights reserved. no translations or reposts of any form allowed.

Message in a Bottle

-Pairing: Beomgyu x reader

-Words: 4.8k

-Rating/Warnings: SFW, non-idol AU, rock band AU, best friends to lovers, mentions of drinking, mild cursing, fluff, angst

-Author's Note: This Taylor Swift song has been begging me to write a fic, so here we are! Beomgyu just won't leave me alone these days, so here's a New Year's Eve fic centered around the one and only Mr. Choi. Enjoy!

------------------------------

“For the fancy lady with the new job.”

You roll your eyes as your best friend exits the ice cream shop in front of you, gloved hands clutching two soft serves as he smiles at you. Eye roll aside, you take the strawberry confection out of his hands. Though it makes next to no sense in the dead of winter, a hallmark of your friendship with Beomgyu is getting ice cream together, no matter how the weather protests.

“I’m not fancy,” you finally say around a mouthful of ice cream. Beomgyu simply shakes his head, rolling his eyes back at you.

“Okay, whatever you say. Just a new job then, in a nice building downtown, with a pay raise. Not fancy at all.” He grins goofily across his cone to you as you give in and laugh. “But seriously…how do you feel about starting a new job right before the new year?” Concern laces his features-he knows that you’ve been searching for a new job for a while, but he also knows how change makes your stomach churn, which is exactly what it starts doing when you reply.

“I’m nervous. Excited, but nervous. What if everyone thinks I’m incompetent? Or just doesn’t like me?” You scuff your boot against the sidewalk, back and forth.

“Well one, you’re not incompetent because you wouldn’t have gotten the job if you were, so there’s that off the table. And if they don’t like you? I’ll come kick their asses.”

You know he’s joking, but as you look up at Beomgyu, you can’t help but notice a hint of steel behind his usual mischievousness.

“You couldn’t kick anyone’s ass if you tried,” you retort, swatting your arm towards him. You’re surprised when he catches your wrist in a tight, strong grip, the veins in his forearm standing out a little when he takes a step closer to you.

“Don’t forget I’ve been working out lately…don’t try me, or I’ll kick your ass.”

You stick your tongue out in response, which leads him to pick you up and sling you over his shoulder. You squeak out a gasp, and immediately start pounding on his back, demanding he put you down. He cackles, and doesn’t comply until he’s dropping you off at your apartment doorstep a block down from the ice cream shop.

“I told you, don’t try me. Have a great first day of work at your new job tomorrow!”

He’s gone before you can even respond.

—------------------------------

The first week and a half of your new job goes by in a blur. You’re learning new systems, new coworkers’ names, and just generally it feels like an overload of information. Even with everything happening with a learning curve, you don’t feel incompetent, and you feel well-liked to your pleasant surprise. However, what you didn’t expect was your boss to tell you about the company’s New Years’ Eve party…and how excited he was to see you and your plus one there in a few days’ time.

You don’t have a plus one.

Unless…?

“So how’s the new job going? Tell me all the juicy gossip, I want to know everything!” Beomgyu shouts into the phone over the noise of wherever he’s at.

“There’s nothing that juicy to tell, promise. I’m still learning everything, it’s been fun though. So far, so good!” You can’t help smiling as you talk, the giddy energy from your job change still coursing through you. There's silence before you continue.

“But…”

“But what? Do I need to kick someone’s ass? I told you I would,” he laughs.

“No, no, nothing like that. It’s just…the company has this fancy New Years Eve party in a couple of days…”

“...so? Sounds like a good time.”

“Yeah, I guess so. But, my boss just told me about it yesterday. And he’s expecting me to bring a plus one, everyone is.”

“Okay, so ask that dude from your last job that you liked. Soobin, isn’t that his name?” Beomgyu sounds nonchalant, like nothing you’re saying should be of any concern.

“Okay, one, I would never do that. Two, Soobin isn’t even interested in me like that, he told me so when I asked him out for coffee once.”

Beomgyu sputters into something he’s drinking, you’re not sure what.

“Why am I just now hearing about this, exactly? Also, he’s completely stupid to not be interested in you, any guy would be lucky to date you,-”

“Thanks for the pep talk, Gyu, but that’s not why I called you.” You pick nervously at your nails, and though he can’t see you, he can tell that you feel uncomfortable.

“So why did you call? Are you okay? Did something else happen?” He’s soft in his response to you, and you know if he were here in person, he’d be drawing you into his side.

“I lied to my boss.” You swallow thickly, your gaze darting around your living room where you’re now pacing.

“Lied? What did you say?”

“...that I had a boyfriend?” you reply quietly.

“Okay…who? Who did you mean?”

“...you. I told him I was bringing my boyfriend, Beomgyu.”

There’s a long, long silence that hangs in the air as you wait for your friend to say something. Anything.

Suddenly, there’s a loud barking laugh from the other side of the phone.

“That’s all? Please…I’ll be the best boyfriend you’ve ever had. Your boss will be impressed because I clean up well, your coworkers will be swooning, and you’ll be the life of the party. What a fun time!”

“You’re not mad at me?”

“No, never! At least not for something like this, anyway. I’m excited! I’ve never been to a fancy New Years Eve party, this’ll be great. We should go shopping for outfits tomorrow, yeah?”

“Sure. I’ll see you then, I guess,” you reply before ending the call.

What the heck had you gotten yourself into?

—--------------------------------

The next day passes in a rush of shops, suits, and sequins until the two of you settle on an outfit each for the party. You still feel guilty for lying to your boss and roping Beomgyu into pretending to be your boyfriend, but he repeatedly reminds you throughout the shopping spree that he is absolutely fine with the whole thing, citing ‘being able to practice acting’ and a love of fancy parties as reasons to not be worried about it.

However, you can’t help but worry as you slip into a bright sequined jumpsuit on New Year's Eve. It’s flashier than anything you would ever wear normally, and no matter which way you move, light dances off the silver sparkles covering your body. A small sigh escapes you as you resign yourself to the attention you’ll surely draw, and the sigh turns into exasperation as you attempt to pull the zipper of the jumpsuit fully up, only to get stuck at the middle of your back.

“...hello?” You hear Beomgyu’s voice echo down the hallway towards your room, causing you to glance over at the clock by your bedside. 6:35. Shit. You’d told him to pick you up at 6:30, and you hadn’t even heard him knock.

“You didn’t answer the door, so I just used the spare key…are you okay?” His voice sounds closer, and you hear the door to your bedroom open slowly.

“Can you…ugh…help me…with this stupid zipper?!” you exclaim, giving one last tug before letting your hands fall to your sides.

“I’ve got you.” You feel his hands sweep your hair over your shoulder so he has access to your back, and in one swift move, he’s got the zipper pulled to the top of the jumpsuit. You look up into your full length mirror to see Beomgyu gently readjusting your hair to cascade down your back again.

He then leans in over your shoulder, hands loosely covering your hips. “You look lovely,” he murmurs in your ear, the low baritone of his voice causing goosebumps to rise on your bare arms.

As he steps away from you, you can see he’s chosen to wear black dress pants with a white button down, black tie, and a black leather jacket.

He looks good. Really good. So good, you don’t realize you’ve been staring silently until he says, “Yeah, I really leaned into the whole ‘I play guitar in a band’ aesthetic. It’s not too much, is it?”

You attempt to respond only to be met with a dry throat. You cough, trying again. “No, Gyu. You look so good. Great.” A steady heat is making its way up your neck and face, which isn’t helped when Beomgyu seems like he’s suddenly getting shy, hand reaching to rub the back of his neck.

“We should head downtown, don’t want to be late!” you chirp cheerily, trying to make things less awkward. Beomgyu seems to snap out of whatever headspace he was in and his usual grin makes his way across his face.

“After you, m’lady.” You roll your eyes, and he just pokes your side as you both walk out of your apartment.

—--------------------------------

The ride downtown is comfortable, both of you having recovered from whatever had happened in your bedroom. Beomgyu parks his car in the garage of a towering skyscraper downtown, and you’re shocked to see that your company has rented out one of the most coveted views in the whole city. The two of you head inside, duck into an already crowded elevator, and head to the 15th floor.

As everyone piles out, your best friend reaches for your hand, which you jerk away from without thinking.

“Hey, I’m your boyfriend tonight, remember? We’ve got this.” Beomgyu reaches for your hand again, and this time you let his fingers intertwine with your own. Though the feeling is foreign, it’s comforting all at the same time. You glance over at him, clearly nervous, and he gives your hand a gentle squeeze. You steel yourself, and head into the party.

Turns out you needn’t have worried about most of the night. As predicted, your jumpsuit does garner a lot of attention, but with that attention come a lot of sincere compliments. Beomgyu is a hit with everyone-your boss is impressed with his day job, and your coworkers are fascinated with the fact that he’s in a band and he writes a lot of the music they play. You even notice a few of the women you work with giving him side glances when they think you’re not looking, which makes you laugh.

All the while, Beomgyu plays the part of the doting, attentive boyfriend. When your boss chats with him about his work, he makes sure you’re a part of the conversation. While coworkers are asking about his band, he pulls you close and keeps an arm around your waist while he’s talking, telling them all about his latest song which happens to be about you. You thought he hadn’t noticed the stares from other women, but it seems every time you catch one, he’s whispering in your ear, kissing the top of your head, or asking you to dance with him.

All of the attention feels so natural, it throws you for a loop. There’s a flush coloring your cheeks every time Beomgyu dances with you, both from the effort you’re exerting and his warm gaze that seems to travel up and down your body watching your every move. You’re enjoying what might be your tenth or twelfth trip to the dancefloor, when suddenly Beomgyu’s hands wrap around your waist, pulling you so close that you’re chest to chest.

“Hi,” he murmurs into your ear, just loud enough to hear over the music that’s shifted into a slow song.

“...hi,” you squeak out, looking up to find his deep brown eyes gazing down at you.

“Have I told you how pretty you look tonight?” he hums, a smile tugging at one corner of his mouth.

“You told me earlier before we left my apartment. And then again earlier tonight while we were talking to my coworker.” You raise an eyebrow questioningly.

“Funny, I can’t remember either of those…guess I’ll just tell you again. Silly me.” He takes your confusion as an opportunity to spin you out and back again into his arms.

“Beomgyu…what’s gotten into you? I know you’re pretending to be my boyfriend, but no one can hear us over the music right now.”

“I know. There’s just a guy over by the drinks who keeps looking over here at you, hoping I don’t notice. Except I have…and I don’t appreciate it.” You follow his glare over to one of your new coworkers, who sure enough is looking your way, though he tries to poorly cover it up once you both are staring at him.

“Are you…jealous?” You can’t believe the words that are coming out of your mouth, but you don’t know what else to call Beomgyu’s behavior other than jealousy.

“I, in fact, am not jealous, thank you for asking. I just don’t appreciate that he thinks it’s okay to openly stare at someone that for all intents and purposes has a boyfriend tonight, that’s all. C’mon, let’s go up to the roof and get away from creeper over there.”

Beomgyu laces his fingers with yours and creates a path through the partygoers, through a small door and up a staircase to the roof. You gasp as you walk up to the edge of the building, the skyline in front of you taking your breath away.

“It’s beautiful.” You can’t think of a better word to describe the scene in front of you, and you look to the man beside you to see if he agrees, only to find him staring at you instead.

“It really is.” His gaze never wavers, and he steps closer to you. “Check the time,” he whispers softly.

11:59.

“Happy New Years, lovely.” His breath fans out over your face, and you find yourself drawing closer as if by some unseen force until your lips are meeting his.

It’s not what you expected, to be kissing your best friend on New Year’s Eve. Or ever. But you can’t say you’re too upset about it. Beomgyu’s lips are soft and full, gentle with you as if you might crumble beneath him if he’s too harsh. His tongue softly prodding against your lips is what brings you back to reality, pulling away with a dazed and panicked look on your face.

You just kissed your best friend. Beomgyu just kissed you.

You clear your throat and take a step to distance yourself from him. Even though you see him try to school his features into neutrality, you know him too well-there’s a ghost of hurt flickering behind his eyes and your heart sinks into the pit of your stomach.

Before you can even say anything, he beats you to it.

“Here, you’re shivering. I’ll take you home.” He wraps his leather jacket around your shoulders and heads back down the staircase to the party, making sure you’re following him every so often.

The ride home is just as silent as the one downtown, but this time it’s not comfortable. You keep wanting to say something, but keep your mouth shut in fear of making the whole situation worse. You didn’t know how you felt, and you didn’t want to mess things up further by saying something completely stupid. Side glances at Beomgyu tell you nothing, as he’s managed to shove whatever he’s feeling so far down inside, all you can see is the neutrality he’d been attempting earlier.

Once you get to your apartment, you hand back his jacket wordlessly. As he turns to leave, you reach out and grab his arm. He looks back at you, a small flicker of hope igniting in his gaze.

“See you tomorrow?” It comes out in a small, weak voice.

Beomgyu shakes his head, trying to smile but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes.

“I’m leaving for our new year gigs tomorrow. I won’t be back for a week and a half, and I’ll be hard to get ahold of. I’ll see you when I get back, okay?”

You nod meekly.

“Beomgyu?”

“Yeah?”

“Are we okay?”

You see him shift his weight from foot to foot as he suddenly can’t seem to look you in the eyes.

“We will be. Take care of yourself, okay? Since I won’t be here to do it for you.” A small laugh escapes him as he turns and walks away. You stare after him long after he’s out of sight, wondering if you’ve just ruined the closest relationship you’ve ever had.

—-------------------------------

The following week drags on forever without Beomgyu. At work, it feels like you’re on autopilot, not quite paying attention to things you’re being asked. Your mind keeps wandering back to New Years Eve, and the fact that you had kissed your best friend. Obviously he must have gotten swept away in the moment, pretending to be your boyfriend? Or maybe he did have feelings for you. But where did that leave you? Did you have feelings too?

It doesn’t help that communication between the two of you is sporadic, as his signal goes in and out as he’s traveling, and when he’s in a city, he’s practicing, playing a gig, or hanging out with his bandmates. The best you can manage is texts sent that he responds to hours later, if not days. As if he knows you’re thinking about him (but when have you not been this week?), your phone pings with an incoming text message.

You (10:05 PM): Hey, hope you and the band got to your hotel safely!

Gyu (11:37 AM): Hey! Sorry it took so long to respond, but yeah we did. The gig last night was sick! :D

You don’t bother texting back since you know it’ll be another day before he responds. You sigh heavily instead and gather your belongings to head home since you only work half days on Friday. At least it’s the weekend, and Beomgyu will be home in a few days…hopefully things can go back to normal soon.

—--------------------------------

Turns out the weekend can’t even save you. As you go through the motions, you realize just how closely intertwined your life is with his. Ice cream trips. Movie nights with takeout. Walks in the park catching up on your week. Doing all of it by yourself feels wrong, like you’re cheating on your best friend by not including him. But that’s absurd. Right? You’re staring at your ceiling in bed on Sunday night, thinking about the last time you had a sleepover with Beomgyu. You had both been a little drunk, giggling over the smallest things, and even though he had been further gone than you, he helped you get ready for bed. Used a makeup wipe to gently remove your mascara, made you brush your teeth while he watched. He’d then patted you on the head once you’d crawled into your sheets, saluting you as he clumsily made his way to the couch to fall asleep himself.

You turn to face the empty side of your bed, wishing he was here beside you.

…wait.

What?

You roll back immediately to stare at your ceiling again. You wished he was here beside you? He never stayed in your bed with you, even on your drunkest of nights…he was always on the couch. So why did your brain suddenly think that? Flashes of New Years Eve come crashing back into your head, Beomgyu’s lips insistently pressed against yours, tongue seeking entrance to your mouth before you had stepped away. The memories make you feel warm and tingly all over, wishing again that he was laying beside you. And you remember how you haven’t been able to get him out of your head all week, even though he’s gone to do shows before. All of it together suddenly makes sense, and you want to hide from yourself at how stupid you’ve been.

You just might be in love with your best friend.

—-----------------------------

Your realization haunts you through the next day. You want to wait to talk to Beomgyu until he’s home, but something keeps tugging at you the whole day to reach out before then. A text seems entirely too casual, plus what would you say? ‘Hey I think I love you?’ Absolutely not. You’ll call him.

Except when you finally sit down to do so after dinner that night, it goes to voicemail. Of course it does, he has a show tonight. Nevertheless, you brace yourself to record after the beep-you’ve thought way too hard about what you need to say to chicken out now.

~Beep~

“Hey, Beomgyu, I hope your show is going really well tonight…um, I just wanted to call because-nothing’s wrong, so don’t worry about that! Anyway, I just thought it was too important to send via text so here I am, leaving a voicemail…”

You take a deep breath, realizing that you’ve started to ramble and aren’t making a ton of sense.

“-like I said, this is important. One, I am so sorry I stepped away from you on New Years Eve, I think I just freaked out? There was absolutely nothing wrong with you kissing me, at all. It was nice, actually. Two, I miss you a stupid amount. This weekend every time I did anything, I wanted you with me…which leads me to three. I realized because of how much I missed you that I want to spend time with you all the time. I found myself wishing you were sleeping next to me last night? So that was new. Anyway, all that to say-I miss you. I miss hanging out with you. I figured out I miss your lips and that kiss from New Years as well, so what I’m trying to spit out is…I think I love you, and-”

You’re suddenly cut off by the beep of his voicemail box, telling you you’ve reached the message time limit.

“Dammit!” you curse, hurling your phone against your couch. You let out a shaky breath, and pick it back up.

There’s nothing to do now but wait.

—--------------------------------

You fall asleep waiting, and wake up to a singular text from Beomgyu.

Gyu (9:59 AM): Are you coming to our homecoming show tonight?

Okay, so maybe he didn’t listen to your voicemail. That’s okay, right? You’ll just see him in person. And tell him your feelings. In person.

You (10:02 AM): Front row, wouldn’t miss it! :)

Your response seems nonchalant, but your stomach is churning and you feel like you might throw up. You decide that working from home might be the best plan for the day, and so you turn to spreadsheets, emails, and reading articles to distract you from what might be the end of your world as you know it.

Soon enough, 6:00 rolls around and you shut off your laptop as you finish off a quick dinner you had made for yourself as you finished up the day’s tasks. You decide to treat tonight as just a normal show you’re going to, throwing on a distressed band tee (Beomgyu’s band MOA, artfully bleached and torn by yours truly) with black jeans and stomper boots, accented with a red lip.

You grab your purse off the counter and quickly dash out the door to walk the few blocks to the dive bar MOA is playing, making sure to get there early so you can be front row like you promised.

Sure enough, you’re one of the first people there and it’s easy for you to choose a spot right in front of where you know Beomgyu will be playing for most of the show. Ten minutes after you arrive, he and the rest of the band walk out to tune their instruments. You give a quick wave to Yeonjun, the band’s lead vocalist, and he nudges Beomgyu, turning his attention to you. He quickly jogs across the stage, leans down and throws his legs over the edge and pulls you into a tight hug.

“Hey stranger, feels like ten years since I’ve seen you. I missed you,” he mumbles into your hair.

You pull back, attempting to fix your hair. Noticing his shaggy black hair’s gotten mussed as well, you push it off his face. Before you can draw your hand away, Beomgyu’s covered it with his own, squeezing it softly.

“You look good in my shirt.” His eyes sparkle mischievously as he motions to your band tee with his other hand, and you roll your eyes even as you can feel your cheeks color.

“Yeah, yeah…don’t you have to get ready for the show, rockstar?”

“I do,” he pouts, “but I’ll come find you later, okay?” You nod, and he stands back up and wanders over to his guitar, picking it up and making sure it’s in tune.

More and more people start to crowd around and behind you, and before you know it, the show has started. You’re scream singing the lyrics just as loudly as anyone else, cheering your heart out at the end of every song. Every so often, you catch smiles that Beomgyu is sending you, and it makes your heart feel like it’s leapt up into your throat. Even though it makes you nervous, you can’t help the smiles you send back in return.

Towards the end of the show, Beomgyu steps up to his mic, addressing the crowd.

“Hey everyone, thanks so much for coming out tonight! Our last song we’re going to play for you is an exclusive-we just workshopped this today, mostly because I just wrote it today. Let us know whether you like it!”

Cheers immediately erupt through the crowd, and simmer down once he starts strumming his guitar and steps up to the mic.

“I know that you like me

And it’s kinda frightenin’

Standing here, waitin’, waitin’

And I became hypnotized

By freckles and bright eyes

Tongue tied”

Beomgyu looks over at you and sends a cheeky wink your way. Wait a second, is he singing…about you?

“Cause you could be the one that I love

I could be the one that you dream of

Message in a bottle is all I can do

Standin' here, hopin' it gets to you

You could be the one that I keep, and I

Can be the reason you can't sleep at night

Message in a bottle is all I can do

Standin' here, hopin' it gets to you”

You feel rooted to the spot, staring at the boy in front of you as he sings, staring straight at you, no trace of embarrassment or shame on his face. You barely notice when Yeonjun takes over singing the next verse, your eyes following Beomgyu instead as he pulls his guitar strap over his head, placing the instrument onto its stand.

He walks in front of your spot in front of the stage, and sits down with his legs dangling over the edge, just as he had before the show. He reaches out toward you slowly, but with purpose, gently cupping the sides of your face. You barely register the screaming and whistling that’s happening around you as the other audience members witness the private moment between the two of you.

Beomgyu slowly slides his thumb across your cheek, his eyes glimmering with mischief and something you can’t quite place as he leans towards you.

“Is this okay?” he whispers, barely audible over the song.

You wrap your arms around his neck in response, pulling him to his feet off the stage, crashing your lips onto his. His lips are full and soft just like you remember, and that warm and tingly feeling from before is even stronger, prompting you to be the one who gently asks for entrance to his mouth with your tongue, which he eagerly grants. You’re not sure how long the two of you stand there, too wrapped up in each other to care what’s happening around you. Beomgyu finally pulls back for air, a huge smile on his face that he can’t get rid of. He leans his forehead against yours as he breathes heavily, and begins laughing. It feels contagious, and you’re so giddy you can’t help but join in.

“You are the one I dream of,” you breathe out between giggles.

“I’m glad…because you’re the one that I love. I love you too,” Beomgyu states simply, landing another kiss on your lips.

“I take it you got my voicemail?”

“Of course I did, and I saved it. Just figured I’d respond in person. With a song that I wrote for you…among the others I’ve written about you, this one just happens to be the only one that’s seen the light of day. And it’s a hit!” He gestures around you, where Yeonjun is finishing out the song and the crowd has erupted into raucous cheers.

“There’s…others?” Your eyes widen in surprise.

“Many others…I’ll play them for you if you’re lucky. I’m just glad you got my message in a bottle.”

—-------------------------------

Taglist: @hyungieyoongi @alpacaparkaseok @derinxfam

Check out my other work here!

I don’t know if Beomgyu is my niche, or what…but thanks to everyone that’s read this little NYE fic! More than 100 notes in less than 3 days 🤩

Message in a Bottle

-Pairing: Beomgyu x reader

-Words: 4.8k

-Rating/Warnings: SFW, non-idol AU, rock band AU, best friends to lovers, mentions of drinking, mild cursing, fluff, angst

-Author's Note: This Taylor Swift song has been begging me to write a fic, so here we are! Beomgyu just won't leave me alone these days, so here's a New Year's Eve fic centered around the one and only Mr. Choi. Enjoy!

------------------------------

“For the fancy lady with the new job.”

You roll your eyes as your best friend exits the ice cream shop in front of you, gloved hands clutching two soft serves as he smiles at you. Eye roll aside, you take the strawberry confection out of his hands. Though it makes next to no sense in the dead of winter, a hallmark of your friendship with Beomgyu is getting ice cream together, no matter how the weather protests.

“I’m not fancy,” you finally say around a mouthful of ice cream. Beomgyu simply shakes his head, rolling his eyes back at you.

“Okay, whatever you say. Just a new job then, in a nice building downtown, with a pay raise. Not fancy at all.” He grins goofily across his cone to you as you give in and laugh. “But seriously…how do you feel about starting a new job right before the new year?” Concern laces his features-he knows that you’ve been searching for a new job for a while, but he also knows how change makes your stomach churn, which is exactly what it starts doing when you reply.

“I’m nervous. Excited, but nervous. What if everyone thinks I’m incompetent? Or just doesn’t like me?” You scuff your boot against the sidewalk, back and forth.

“Well one, you’re not incompetent because you wouldn’t have gotten the job if you were, so there’s that off the table. And if they don’t like you? I’ll come kick their asses.”

You know he’s joking, but as you look up at Beomgyu, you can’t help but notice a hint of steel behind his usual mischievousness.

“You couldn’t kick anyone’s ass if you tried,” you retort, swatting your arm towards him. You’re surprised when he catches your wrist in a tight, strong grip, the veins in his forearm standing out a little when he takes a step closer to you.

“Don’t forget I’ve been working out lately…don’t try me, or I’ll kick your ass.”

You stick your tongue out in response, which leads him to pick you up and sling you over his shoulder. You squeak out a gasp, and immediately start pounding on his back, demanding he put you down. He cackles, and doesn’t comply until he’s dropping you off at your apartment doorstep a block down from the ice cream shop.

“I told you, don’t try me. Have a great first day of work at your new job tomorrow!”

He’s gone before you can even respond.

—------------------------------

The first week and a half of your new job goes by in a blur. You’re learning new systems, new coworkers’ names, and just generally it feels like an overload of information. Even with everything happening with a learning curve, you don’t feel incompetent, and you feel well-liked to your pleasant surprise. However, what you didn’t expect was your boss to tell you about the company’s New Years’ Eve party…and how excited he was to see you and your plus one there in a few days’ time.

You don’t have a plus one.

Unless…?

“So how’s the new job going? Tell me all the juicy gossip, I want to know everything!” Beomgyu shouts into the phone over the noise of wherever he’s at.

“There’s nothing that juicy to tell, promise. I’m still learning everything, it’s been fun though. So far, so good!” You can’t help smiling as you talk, the giddy energy from your job change still coursing through you. There's silence before you continue.

“But…”

“But what? Do I need to kick someone’s ass? I told you I would,” he laughs.

“No, no, nothing like that. It’s just…the company has this fancy New Years Eve party in a couple of days…”

“...so? Sounds like a good time.”

“Yeah, I guess so. But, my boss just told me about it yesterday. And he’s expecting me to bring a plus one, everyone is.”

“Okay, so ask that dude from your last job that you liked. Soobin, isn’t that his name?” Beomgyu sounds nonchalant, like nothing you’re saying should be of any concern.

“Okay, one, I would never do that. Two, Soobin isn’t even interested in me like that, he told me so when I asked him out for coffee once.”

Beomgyu sputters into something he’s drinking, you’re not sure what.

“Why am I just now hearing about this, exactly? Also, he’s completely stupid to not be interested in you, any guy would be lucky to date you,-”

“Thanks for the pep talk, Gyu, but that’s not why I called you.” You pick nervously at your nails, and though he can’t see you, he can tell that you feel uncomfortable.

“So why did you call? Are you okay? Did something else happen?” He’s soft in his response to you, and you know if he were here in person, he’d be drawing you into his side.

“I lied to my boss.” You swallow thickly, your gaze darting around your living room where you’re now pacing.

“Lied? What did you say?”

“...that I had a boyfriend?” you reply quietly.

“Okay…who? Who did you mean?”

“...you. I told him I was bringing my boyfriend, Beomgyu.”

There’s a long, long silence that hangs in the air as you wait for your friend to say something. Anything.

Suddenly, there’s a loud barking laugh from the other side of the phone.

“That’s all? Please…I’ll be the best boyfriend you’ve ever had. Your boss will be impressed because I clean up well, your coworkers will be swooning, and you’ll be the life of the party. What a fun time!”

“You’re not mad at me?”

“No, never! At least not for something like this, anyway. I’m excited! I’ve never been to a fancy New Years Eve party, this’ll be great. We should go shopping for outfits tomorrow, yeah?”

“Sure. I’ll see you then, I guess,” you reply before ending the call.

What the heck had you gotten yourself into?

—--------------------------------

The next day passes in a rush of shops, suits, and sequins until the two of you settle on an outfit each for the party. You still feel guilty for lying to your boss and roping Beomgyu into pretending to be your boyfriend, but he repeatedly reminds you throughout the shopping spree that he is absolutely fine with the whole thing, citing ‘being able to practice acting’ and a love of fancy parties as reasons to not be worried about it.

However, you can’t help but worry as you slip into a bright sequined jumpsuit on New Year's Eve. It’s flashier than anything you would ever wear normally, and no matter which way you move, light dances off the silver sparkles covering your body. A small sigh escapes you as you resign yourself to the attention you’ll surely draw, and the sigh turns into exasperation as you attempt to pull the zipper of the jumpsuit fully up, only to get stuck at the middle of your back.

“...hello?” You hear Beomgyu’s voice echo down the hallway towards your room, causing you to glance over at the clock by your bedside. 6:35. Shit. You’d told him to pick you up at 6:30, and you hadn’t even heard him knock.

“You didn’t answer the door, so I just used the spare key…are you okay?” His voice sounds closer, and you hear the door to your bedroom open slowly.

“Can you…ugh…help me…with this stupid zipper?!” you exclaim, giving one last tug before letting your hands fall to your sides.

“I’ve got you.” You feel his hands sweep your hair over your shoulder so he has access to your back, and in one swift move, he’s got the zipper pulled to the top of the jumpsuit. You look up into your full length mirror to see Beomgyu gently readjusting your hair to cascade down your back again.

He then leans in over your shoulder, hands loosely covering your hips. “You look lovely,” he murmurs in your ear, the low baritone of his voice causing goosebumps to rise on your bare arms.

As he steps away from you, you can see he’s chosen to wear black dress pants with a white button down, black tie, and a black leather jacket.

He looks good. Really good. So good, you don’t realize you’ve been staring silently until he says, “Yeah, I really leaned into the whole ‘I play guitar in a band’ aesthetic. It’s not too much, is it?”

You attempt to respond only to be met with a dry throat. You cough, trying again. “No, Gyu. You look so good. Great.” A steady heat is making its way up your neck and face, which isn’t helped when Beomgyu seems like he’s suddenly getting shy, hand reaching to rub the back of his neck.

“We should head downtown, don’t want to be late!” you chirp cheerily, trying to make things less awkward. Beomgyu seems to snap out of whatever headspace he was in and his usual grin makes his way across his face.

“After you, m’lady.” You roll your eyes, and he just pokes your side as you both walk out of your apartment.

—--------------------------------

The ride downtown is comfortable, both of you having recovered from whatever had happened in your bedroom. Beomgyu parks his car in the garage of a towering skyscraper downtown, and you’re shocked to see that your company has rented out one of the most coveted views in the whole city. The two of you head inside, duck into an already crowded elevator, and head to the 15th floor.

As everyone piles out, your best friend reaches for your hand, which you jerk away from without thinking.

“Hey, I’m your boyfriend tonight, remember? We’ve got this.” Beomgyu reaches for your hand again, and this time you let his fingers intertwine with your own. Though the feeling is foreign, it’s comforting all at the same time. You glance over at him, clearly nervous, and he gives your hand a gentle squeeze. You steel yourself, and head into the party.

Turns out you needn’t have worried about most of the night. As predicted, your jumpsuit does garner a lot of attention, but with that attention come a lot of sincere compliments. Beomgyu is a hit with everyone-your boss is impressed with his day job, and your coworkers are fascinated with the fact that he’s in a band and he writes a lot of the music they play. You even notice a few of the women you work with giving him side glances when they think you’re not looking, which makes you laugh.

All the while, Beomgyu plays the part of the doting, attentive boyfriend. When your boss chats with him about his work, he makes sure you’re a part of the conversation. While coworkers are asking about his band, he pulls you close and keeps an arm around your waist while he’s talking, telling them all about his latest song which happens to be about you. You thought he hadn’t noticed the stares from other women, but it seems every time you catch one, he’s whispering in your ear, kissing the top of your head, or asking you to dance with him.

All of the attention feels so natural, it throws you for a loop. There’s a flush coloring your cheeks every time Beomgyu dances with you, both from the effort you’re exerting and his warm gaze that seems to travel up and down your body watching your every move. You’re enjoying what might be your tenth or twelfth trip to the dancefloor, when suddenly Beomgyu’s hands wrap around your waist, pulling you so close that you’re chest to chest.

“Hi,” he murmurs into your ear, just loud enough to hear over the music that’s shifted into a slow song.

“...hi,” you squeak out, looking up to find his deep brown eyes gazing down at you.

“Have I told you how pretty you look tonight?” he hums, a smile tugging at one corner of his mouth.

“You told me earlier before we left my apartment. And then again earlier tonight while we were talking to my coworker.” You raise an eyebrow questioningly.

“Funny, I can’t remember either of those…guess I’ll just tell you again. Silly me.” He takes your confusion as an opportunity to spin you out and back again into his arms.

“Beomgyu…what’s gotten into you? I know you’re pretending to be my boyfriend, but no one can hear us over the music right now.”

“I know. There’s just a guy over by the drinks who keeps looking over here at you, hoping I don’t notice. Except I have…and I don’t appreciate it.” You follow his glare over to one of your new coworkers, who sure enough is looking your way, though he tries to poorly cover it up once you both are staring at him.

“Are you…jealous?” You can’t believe the words that are coming out of your mouth, but you don’t know what else to call Beomgyu’s behavior other than jealousy.

“I, in fact, am not jealous, thank you for asking. I just don’t appreciate that he thinks it’s okay to openly stare at someone that for all intents and purposes has a boyfriend tonight, that’s all. C’mon, let’s go up to the roof and get away from creeper over there.”

Beomgyu laces his fingers with yours and creates a path through the partygoers, through a small door and up a staircase to the roof. You gasp as you walk up to the edge of the building, the skyline in front of you taking your breath away.

“It’s beautiful.” You can’t think of a better word to describe the scene in front of you, and you look to the man beside you to see if he agrees, only to find him staring at you instead.

“It really is.” His gaze never wavers, and he steps closer to you. “Check the time,” he whispers softly.

11:59.

“Happy New Years, lovely.” His breath fans out over your face, and you find yourself drawing closer as if by some unseen force until your lips are meeting his.

It’s not what you expected, to be kissing your best friend on New Year’s Eve. Or ever. But you can’t say you’re too upset about it. Beomgyu’s lips are soft and full, gentle with you as if you might crumble beneath him if he’s too harsh. His tongue softly prodding against your lips is what brings you back to reality, pulling away with a dazed and panicked look on your face.

You just kissed your best friend. Beomgyu just kissed you.

You clear your throat and take a step to distance yourself from him. Even though you see him try to school his features into neutrality, you know him too well-there’s a ghost of hurt flickering behind his eyes and your heart sinks into the pit of your stomach.

Before you can even say anything, he beats you to it.

“Here, you’re shivering. I’ll take you home.” He wraps his leather jacket around your shoulders and heads back down the staircase to the party, making sure you’re following him every so often.

The ride home is just as silent as the one downtown, but this time it’s not comfortable. You keep wanting to say something, but keep your mouth shut in fear of making the whole situation worse. You didn’t know how you felt, and you didn’t want to mess things up further by saying something completely stupid. Side glances at Beomgyu tell you nothing, as he’s managed to shove whatever he’s feeling so far down inside, all you can see is the neutrality he’d been attempting earlier.

Once you get to your apartment, you hand back his jacket wordlessly. As he turns to leave, you reach out and grab his arm. He looks back at you, a small flicker of hope igniting in his gaze.

“See you tomorrow?” It comes out in a small, weak voice.

Beomgyu shakes his head, trying to smile but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes.

“I’m leaving for our new year gigs tomorrow. I won’t be back for a week and a half, and I’ll be hard to get ahold of. I’ll see you when I get back, okay?”

You nod meekly.

“Beomgyu?”

“Yeah?”

“Are we okay?”

You see him shift his weight from foot to foot as he suddenly can’t seem to look you in the eyes.

“We will be. Take care of yourself, okay? Since I won’t be here to do it for you.” A small laugh escapes him as he turns and walks away. You stare after him long after he’s out of sight, wondering if you’ve just ruined the closest relationship you’ve ever had.

—-------------------------------

The following week drags on forever without Beomgyu. At work, it feels like you’re on autopilot, not quite paying attention to things you’re being asked. Your mind keeps wandering back to New Years Eve, and the fact that you had kissed your best friend. Obviously he must have gotten swept away in the moment, pretending to be your boyfriend? Or maybe he did have feelings for you. But where did that leave you? Did you have feelings too?

It doesn’t help that communication between the two of you is sporadic, as his signal goes in and out as he’s traveling, and when he’s in a city, he’s practicing, playing a gig, or hanging out with his bandmates. The best you can manage is texts sent that he responds to hours later, if not days. As if he knows you’re thinking about him (but when have you not been this week?), your phone pings with an incoming text message.

You (10:05 PM): Hey, hope you and the band got to your hotel safely!

Gyu (11:37 AM): Hey! Sorry it took so long to respond, but yeah we did. The gig last night was sick! :D

You don’t bother texting back since you know it’ll be another day before he responds. You sigh heavily instead and gather your belongings to head home since you only work half days on Friday. At least it’s the weekend, and Beomgyu will be home in a few days…hopefully things can go back to normal soon.

—--------------------------------

Turns out the weekend can’t even save you. As you go through the motions, you realize just how closely intertwined your life is with his. Ice cream trips. Movie nights with takeout. Walks in the park catching up on your week. Doing all of it by yourself feels wrong, like you’re cheating on your best friend by not including him. But that’s absurd. Right? You’re staring at your ceiling in bed on Sunday night, thinking about the last time you had a sleepover with Beomgyu. You had both been a little drunk, giggling over the smallest things, and even though he had been further gone than you, he helped you get ready for bed. Used a makeup wipe to gently remove your mascara, made you brush your teeth while he watched. He’d then patted you on the head once you’d crawled into your sheets, saluting you as he clumsily made his way to the couch to fall asleep himself.

You turn to face the empty side of your bed, wishing he was here beside you.

…wait.

What?

You roll back immediately to stare at your ceiling again. You wished he was here beside you? He never stayed in your bed with you, even on your drunkest of nights…he was always on the couch. So why did your brain suddenly think that? Flashes of New Years Eve come crashing back into your head, Beomgyu’s lips insistently pressed against yours, tongue seeking entrance to your mouth before you had stepped away. The memories make you feel warm and tingly all over, wishing again that he was laying beside you. And you remember how you haven’t been able to get him out of your head all week, even though he’s gone to do shows before. All of it together suddenly makes sense, and you want to hide from yourself at how stupid you’ve been.

You just might be in love with your best friend.

—-----------------------------

Your realization haunts you through the next day. You want to wait to talk to Beomgyu until he’s home, but something keeps tugging at you the whole day to reach out before then. A text seems entirely too casual, plus what would you say? ‘Hey I think I love you?’ Absolutely not. You’ll call him.

Except when you finally sit down to do so after dinner that night, it goes to voicemail. Of course it does, he has a show tonight. Nevertheless, you brace yourself to record after the beep-you’ve thought way too hard about what you need to say to chicken out now.

~Beep~

“Hey, Beomgyu, I hope your show is going really well tonight…um, I just wanted to call because-nothing’s wrong, so don’t worry about that! Anyway, I just thought it was too important to send via text so here I am, leaving a voicemail…”

You take a deep breath, realizing that you’ve started to ramble and aren’t making a ton of sense.

“-like I said, this is important. One, I am so sorry I stepped away from you on New Years Eve, I think I just freaked out? There was absolutely nothing wrong with you kissing me, at all. It was nice, actually. Two, I miss you a stupid amount. This weekend every time I did anything, I wanted you with me…which leads me to three. I realized because of how much I missed you that I want to spend time with you all the time. I found myself wishing you were sleeping next to me last night? So that was new. Anyway, all that to say-I miss you. I miss hanging out with you. I figured out I miss your lips and that kiss from New Years as well, so what I’m trying to spit out is…I think I love you, and-”

You’re suddenly cut off by the beep of his voicemail box, telling you you’ve reached the message time limit.

“Dammit!” you curse, hurling your phone against your couch. You let out a shaky breath, and pick it back up.

There’s nothing to do now but wait.

—--------------------------------

You fall asleep waiting, and wake up to a singular text from Beomgyu.

Gyu (9:59 AM): Are you coming to our homecoming show tonight?

Okay, so maybe he didn’t listen to your voicemail. That’s okay, right? You’ll just see him in person. And tell him your feelings. In person.

You (10:02 AM): Front row, wouldn’t miss it! :)

Your response seems nonchalant, but your stomach is churning and you feel like you might throw up. You decide that working from home might be the best plan for the day, and so you turn to spreadsheets, emails, and reading articles to distract you from what might be the end of your world as you know it.

Soon enough, 6:00 rolls around and you shut off your laptop as you finish off a quick dinner you had made for yourself as you finished up the day’s tasks. You decide to treat tonight as just a normal show you’re going to, throwing on a distressed band tee (Beomgyu’s band MOA, artfully bleached and torn by yours truly) with black jeans and stomper boots, accented with a red lip.

You grab your purse off the counter and quickly dash out the door to walk the few blocks to the dive bar MOA is playing, making sure to get there early so you can be front row like you promised.

Sure enough, you’re one of the first people there and it’s easy for you to choose a spot right in front of where you know Beomgyu will be playing for most of the show. Ten minutes after you arrive, he and the rest of the band walk out to tune their instruments. You give a quick wave to Yeonjun, the band’s lead vocalist, and he nudges Beomgyu, turning his attention to you. He quickly jogs across the stage, leans down and throws his legs over the edge and pulls you into a tight hug.

“Hey stranger, feels like ten years since I’ve seen you. I missed you,” he mumbles into your hair.

You pull back, attempting to fix your hair. Noticing his shaggy black hair’s gotten mussed as well, you push it off his face. Before you can draw your hand away, Beomgyu’s covered it with his own, squeezing it softly.

“You look good in my shirt.” His eyes sparkle mischievously as he motions to your band tee with his other hand, and you roll your eyes even as you can feel your cheeks color.

“Yeah, yeah…don’t you have to get ready for the show, rockstar?”

“I do,” he pouts, “but I’ll come find you later, okay?” You nod, and he stands back up and wanders over to his guitar, picking it up and making sure it’s in tune.

More and more people start to crowd around and behind you, and before you know it, the show has started. You’re scream singing the lyrics just as loudly as anyone else, cheering your heart out at the end of every song. Every so often, you catch smiles that Beomgyu is sending you, and it makes your heart feel like it’s leapt up into your throat. Even though it makes you nervous, you can’t help the smiles you send back in return.

Towards the end of the show, Beomgyu steps up to his mic, addressing the crowd.

“Hey everyone, thanks so much for coming out tonight! Our last song we’re going to play for you is an exclusive-we just workshopped this today, mostly because I just wrote it today. Let us know whether you like it!”

Cheers immediately erupt through the crowd, and simmer down once he starts strumming his guitar and steps up to the mic.

“I know that you like me

And it’s kinda frightenin’

Standing here, waitin’, waitin’

And I became hypnotized

By freckles and bright eyes

Tongue tied”

Beomgyu looks over at you and sends a cheeky wink your way. Wait a second, is he singing…about you?

“Cause you could be the one that I love

I could be the one that you dream of

Message in a bottle is all I can do

Standin' here, hopin' it gets to you

You could be the one that I keep, and I

Can be the reason you can't sleep at night

Message in a bottle is all I can do

Standin' here, hopin' it gets to you”

You feel rooted to the spot, staring at the boy in front of you as he sings, staring straight at you, no trace of embarrassment or shame on his face. You barely notice when Yeonjun takes over singing the next verse, your eyes following Beomgyu instead as he pulls his guitar strap over his head, placing the instrument onto its stand.

He walks in front of your spot in front of the stage, and sits down with his legs dangling over the edge, just as he had before the show. He reaches out toward you slowly, but with purpose, gently cupping the sides of your face. You barely register the screaming and whistling that’s happening around you as the other audience members witness the private moment between the two of you.

Beomgyu slowly slides his thumb across your cheek, his eyes glimmering with mischief and something you can’t quite place as he leans towards you.

“Is this okay?” he whispers, barely audible over the song.

You wrap your arms around his neck in response, pulling him to his feet off the stage, crashing your lips onto his. His lips are full and soft just like you remember, and that warm and tingly feeling from before is even stronger, prompting you to be the one who gently asks for entrance to his mouth with your tongue, which he eagerly grants. You’re not sure how long the two of you stand there, too wrapped up in each other to care what’s happening around you. Beomgyu finally pulls back for air, a huge smile on his face that he can’t get rid of. He leans his forehead against yours as he breathes heavily, and begins laughing. It feels contagious, and you’re so giddy you can’t help but join in.

“You are the one I dream of,” you breathe out between giggles.

“I’m glad…because you’re the one that I love. I love you too,” Beomgyu states simply, landing another kiss on your lips.

“I take it you got my voicemail?”

“Of course I did, and I saved it. Just figured I’d respond in person. With a song that I wrote for you…among the others I’ve written about you, this one just happens to be the only one that’s seen the light of day. And it’s a hit!” He gestures around you, where Yeonjun is finishing out the song and the crowd has erupted into raucous cheers.

“There’s…others?” Your eyes widen in surprise.

“Many others…I’ll play them for you if you’re lucky. I’m just glad you got my message in a bottle.”

—-------------------------------

Taglist: @hyungieyoongi @alpacaparkaseok @derinxfam

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One of my personal faves I’ve ever written just hit 200 notes-I appreciate every person that’s taken time to read this! 🥰

Message in a Bottle

-Pairing: Beomgyu x reader

-Words: 4.8k

-Rating/Warnings: SFW, non-idol AU, rock band AU, best friends to lovers, mentions of drinking, mild cursing, fluff, angst

-Author's Note: This Taylor Swift song has been begging me to write a fic, so here we are! Beomgyu just won't leave me alone these days, so here's a New Year's Eve fic centered around the one and only Mr. Choi. Enjoy!

------------------------------

“For the fancy lady with the new job.”

You roll your eyes as your best friend exits the ice cream shop in front of you, gloved hands clutching two soft serves as he smiles at you. Eye roll aside, you take the strawberry confection out of his hands. Though it makes next to no sense in the dead of winter, a hallmark of your friendship with Beomgyu is getting ice cream together, no matter how the weather protests.

“I’m not fancy,” you finally say around a mouthful of ice cream. Beomgyu simply shakes his head, rolling his eyes back at you.

“Okay, whatever you say. Just a new job then, in a nice building downtown, with a pay raise. Not fancy at all.” He grins goofily across his cone to you as you give in and laugh. “But seriously…how do you feel about starting a new job right before the new year?” Concern laces his features-he knows that you’ve been searching for a new job for a while, but he also knows how change makes your stomach churn, which is exactly what it starts doing when you reply.

“I’m nervous. Excited, but nervous. What if everyone thinks I’m incompetent? Or just doesn’t like me?” You scuff your boot against the sidewalk, back and forth.

“Well one, you’re not incompetent because you wouldn’t have gotten the job if you were, so there’s that off the table. And if they don’t like you? I’ll come kick their asses.”

You know he’s joking, but as you look up at Beomgyu, you can’t help but notice a hint of steel behind his usual mischievousness.

“You couldn’t kick anyone’s ass if you tried,” you retort, swatting your arm towards him. You’re surprised when he catches your wrist in a tight, strong grip, the veins in his forearm standing out a little when he takes a step closer to you.

“Don’t forget I’ve been working out lately…don’t try me, or I’ll kick your ass.”

You stick your tongue out in response, which leads him to pick you up and sling you over his shoulder. You squeak out a gasp, and immediately start pounding on his back, demanding he put you down. He cackles, and doesn’t comply until he’s dropping you off at your apartment doorstep a block down from the ice cream shop.

“I told you, don’t try me. Have a great first day of work at your new job tomorrow!”

He’s gone before you can even respond.

—------------------------------

The first week and a half of your new job goes by in a blur. You’re learning new systems, new coworkers’ names, and just generally it feels like an overload of information. Even with everything happening with a learning curve, you don’t feel incompetent, and you feel well-liked to your pleasant surprise. However, what you didn’t expect was your boss to tell you about the company’s New Years’ Eve party…and how excited he was to see you and your plus one there in a few days’ time.

You don’t have a plus one.

Unless…?

“So how’s the new job going? Tell me all the juicy gossip, I want to know everything!” Beomgyu shouts into the phone over the noise of wherever he’s at.

“There’s nothing that juicy to tell, promise. I’m still learning everything, it’s been fun though. So far, so good!” You can’t help smiling as you talk, the giddy energy from your job change still coursing through you. There's silence before you continue.

“But…”

“But what? Do I need to kick someone’s ass? I told you I would,” he laughs.

“No, no, nothing like that. It’s just…the company has this fancy New Years Eve party in a couple of days…”

“...so? Sounds like a good time.”

“Yeah, I guess so. But, my boss just told me about it yesterday. And he’s expecting me to bring a plus one, everyone is.”

“Okay, so ask that dude from your last job that you liked. Soobin, isn’t that his name?” Beomgyu sounds nonchalant, like nothing you’re saying should be of any concern.

“Okay, one, I would never do that. Two, Soobin isn’t even interested in me like that, he told me so when I asked him out for coffee once.”

Beomgyu sputters into something he’s drinking, you’re not sure what.

“Why am I just now hearing about this, exactly? Also, he’s completely stupid to not be interested in you, any guy would be lucky to date you,-”

“Thanks for the pep talk, Gyu, but that’s not why I called you.” You pick nervously at your nails, and though he can’t see you, he can tell that you feel uncomfortable.

“So why did you call? Are you okay? Did something else happen?” He’s soft in his response to you, and you know if he were here in person, he’d be drawing you into his side.

“I lied to my boss.” You swallow thickly, your gaze darting around your living room where you’re now pacing.

“Lied? What did you say?”

“...that I had a boyfriend?” you reply quietly.

“Okay…who? Who did you mean?”

“...you. I told him I was bringing my boyfriend, Beomgyu.”

There’s a long, long silence that hangs in the air as you wait for your friend to say something. Anything.

Suddenly, there’s a loud barking laugh from the other side of the phone.

“That’s all? Please…I’ll be the best boyfriend you’ve ever had. Your boss will be impressed because I clean up well, your coworkers will be swooning, and you’ll be the life of the party. What a fun time!”

“You’re not mad at me?”

“No, never! At least not for something like this, anyway. I’m excited! I’ve never been to a fancy New Years Eve party, this’ll be great. We should go shopping for outfits tomorrow, yeah?”

“Sure. I’ll see you then, I guess,” you reply before ending the call.

What the heck had you gotten yourself into?

—--------------------------------

The next day passes in a rush of shops, suits, and sequins until the two of you settle on an outfit each for the party. You still feel guilty for lying to your boss and roping Beomgyu into pretending to be your boyfriend, but he repeatedly reminds you throughout the shopping spree that he is absolutely fine with the whole thing, citing ‘being able to practice acting’ and a love of fancy parties as reasons to not be worried about it.

However, you can’t help but worry as you slip into a bright sequined jumpsuit on New Year's Eve. It’s flashier than anything you would ever wear normally, and no matter which way you move, light dances off the silver sparkles covering your body. A small sigh escapes you as you resign yourself to the attention you’ll surely draw, and the sigh turns into exasperation as you attempt to pull the zipper of the jumpsuit fully up, only to get stuck at the middle of your back.

“...hello?” You hear Beomgyu’s voice echo down the hallway towards your room, causing you to glance over at the clock by your bedside. 6:35. Shit. You’d told him to pick you up at 6:30, and you hadn’t even heard him knock.

“You didn’t answer the door, so I just used the spare key…are you okay?” His voice sounds closer, and you hear the door to your bedroom open slowly.

“Can you…ugh…help me…with this stupid zipper?!” you exclaim, giving one last tug before letting your hands fall to your sides.

“I’ve got you.” You feel his hands sweep your hair over your shoulder so he has access to your back, and in one swift move, he’s got the zipper pulled to the top of the jumpsuit. You look up into your full length mirror to see Beomgyu gently readjusting your hair to cascade down your back again.

He then leans in over your shoulder, hands loosely covering your hips. “You look lovely,” he murmurs in your ear, the low baritone of his voice causing goosebumps to rise on your bare arms.

As he steps away from you, you can see he’s chosen to wear black dress pants with a white button down, black tie, and a black leather jacket.

He looks good. Really good. So good, you don’t realize you’ve been staring silently until he says, “Yeah, I really leaned into the whole ‘I play guitar in a band’ aesthetic. It’s not too much, is it?”

You attempt to respond only to be met with a dry throat. You cough, trying again. “No, Gyu. You look so good. Great.” A steady heat is making its way up your neck and face, which isn’t helped when Beomgyu seems like he’s suddenly getting shy, hand reaching to rub the back of his neck.

“We should head downtown, don’t want to be late!” you chirp cheerily, trying to make things less awkward. Beomgyu seems to snap out of whatever headspace he was in and his usual grin makes his way across his face.

“After you, m’lady.” You roll your eyes, and he just pokes your side as you both walk out of your apartment.

—--------------------------------

The ride downtown is comfortable, both of you having recovered from whatever had happened in your bedroom. Beomgyu parks his car in the garage of a towering skyscraper downtown, and you’re shocked to see that your company has rented out one of the most coveted views in the whole city. The two of you head inside, duck into an already crowded elevator, and head to the 15th floor.

As everyone piles out, your best friend reaches for your hand, which you jerk away from without thinking.

“Hey, I’m your boyfriend tonight, remember? We’ve got this.” Beomgyu reaches for your hand again, and this time you let his fingers intertwine with your own. Though the feeling is foreign, it’s comforting all at the same time. You glance over at him, clearly nervous, and he gives your hand a gentle squeeze. You steel yourself, and head into the party.

Turns out you needn’t have worried about most of the night. As predicted, your jumpsuit does garner a lot of attention, but with that attention come a lot of sincere compliments. Beomgyu is a hit with everyone-your boss is impressed with his day job, and your coworkers are fascinated with the fact that he’s in a band and he writes a lot of the music they play. You even notice a few of the women you work with giving him side glances when they think you’re not looking, which makes you laugh.

All the while, Beomgyu plays the part of the doting, attentive boyfriend. When your boss chats with him about his work, he makes sure you’re a part of the conversation. While coworkers are asking about his band, he pulls you close and keeps an arm around your waist while he’s talking, telling them all about his latest song which happens to be about you. You thought he hadn’t noticed the stares from other women, but it seems every time you catch one, he’s whispering in your ear, kissing the top of your head, or asking you to dance with him.

All of the attention feels so natural, it throws you for a loop. There’s a flush coloring your cheeks every time Beomgyu dances with you, both from the effort you’re exerting and his warm gaze that seems to travel up and down your body watching your every move. You’re enjoying what might be your tenth or twelfth trip to the dancefloor, when suddenly Beomgyu’s hands wrap around your waist, pulling you so close that you’re chest to chest.

“Hi,” he murmurs into your ear, just loud enough to hear over the music that’s shifted into a slow song.

“...hi,” you squeak out, looking up to find his deep brown eyes gazing down at you.

“Have I told you how pretty you look tonight?” he hums, a smile tugging at one corner of his mouth.

“You told me earlier before we left my apartment. And then again earlier tonight while we were talking to my coworker.” You raise an eyebrow questioningly.

“Funny, I can’t remember either of those…guess I’ll just tell you again. Silly me.” He takes your confusion as an opportunity to spin you out and back again into his arms.

“Beomgyu…what’s gotten into you? I know you’re pretending to be my boyfriend, but no one can hear us over the music right now.”

“I know. There’s just a guy over by the drinks who keeps looking over here at you, hoping I don’t notice. Except I have…and I don’t appreciate it.” You follow his glare over to one of your new coworkers, who sure enough is looking your way, though he tries to poorly cover it up once you both are staring at him.

“Are you…jealous?” You can’t believe the words that are coming out of your mouth, but you don’t know what else to call Beomgyu’s behavior other than jealousy.

“I, in fact, am not jealous, thank you for asking. I just don’t appreciate that he thinks it’s okay to openly stare at someone that for all intents and purposes has a boyfriend tonight, that’s all. C’mon, let’s go up to the roof and get away from creeper over there.”

Beomgyu laces his fingers with yours and creates a path through the partygoers, through a small door and up a staircase to the roof. You gasp as you walk up to the edge of the building, the skyline in front of you taking your breath away.

“It’s beautiful.” You can’t think of a better word to describe the scene in front of you, and you look to the man beside you to see if he agrees, only to find him staring at you instead.

“It really is.” His gaze never wavers, and he steps closer to you. “Check the time,” he whispers softly.

11:59.

“Happy New Years, lovely.” His breath fans out over your face, and you find yourself drawing closer as if by some unseen force until your lips are meeting his.

It’s not what you expected, to be kissing your best friend on New Year’s Eve. Or ever. But you can’t say you’re too upset about it. Beomgyu’s lips are soft and full, gentle with you as if you might crumble beneath him if he’s too harsh. His tongue softly prodding against your lips is what brings you back to reality, pulling away with a dazed and panicked look on your face.

You just kissed your best friend. Beomgyu just kissed you.

You clear your throat and take a step to distance yourself from him. Even though you see him try to school his features into neutrality, you know him too well-there’s a ghost of hurt flickering behind his eyes and your heart sinks into the pit of your stomach.

Before you can even say anything, he beats you to it.

“Here, you’re shivering. I’ll take you home.” He wraps his leather jacket around your shoulders and heads back down the staircase to the party, making sure you’re following him every so often.

The ride home is just as silent as the one downtown, but this time it’s not comfortable. You keep wanting to say something, but keep your mouth shut in fear of making the whole situation worse. You didn’t know how you felt, and you didn’t want to mess things up further by saying something completely stupid. Side glances at Beomgyu tell you nothing, as he’s managed to shove whatever he’s feeling so far down inside, all you can see is the neutrality he’d been attempting earlier.

Once you get to your apartment, you hand back his jacket wordlessly. As he turns to leave, you reach out and grab his arm. He looks back at you, a small flicker of hope igniting in his gaze.

“See you tomorrow?” It comes out in a small, weak voice.

Beomgyu shakes his head, trying to smile but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes.

“I’m leaving for our new year gigs tomorrow. I won’t be back for a week and a half, and I’ll be hard to get ahold of. I’ll see you when I get back, okay?”

You nod meekly.

“Beomgyu?”

“Yeah?”

“Are we okay?”

You see him shift his weight from foot to foot as he suddenly can’t seem to look you in the eyes.

“We will be. Take care of yourself, okay? Since I won’t be here to do it for you.” A small laugh escapes him as he turns and walks away. You stare after him long after he’s out of sight, wondering if you’ve just ruined the closest relationship you’ve ever had.

—-------------------------------

The following week drags on forever without Beomgyu. At work, it feels like you’re on autopilot, not quite paying attention to things you’re being asked. Your mind keeps wandering back to New Years Eve, and the fact that you had kissed your best friend. Obviously he must have gotten swept away in the moment, pretending to be your boyfriend? Or maybe he did have feelings for you. But where did that leave you? Did you have feelings too?

It doesn’t help that communication between the two of you is sporadic, as his signal goes in and out as he’s traveling, and when he’s in a city, he’s practicing, playing a gig, or hanging out with his bandmates. The best you can manage is texts sent that he responds to hours later, if not days. As if he knows you’re thinking about him (but when have you not been this week?), your phone pings with an incoming text message.

You (10:05 PM): Hey, hope you and the band got to your hotel safely!

Gyu (11:37 AM): Hey! Sorry it took so long to respond, but yeah we did. The gig last night was sick! :D

You don’t bother texting back since you know it’ll be another day before he responds. You sigh heavily instead and gather your belongings to head home since you only work half days on Friday. At least it’s the weekend, and Beomgyu will be home in a few days…hopefully things can go back to normal soon.

—--------------------------------

Turns out the weekend can’t even save you. As you go through the motions, you realize just how closely intertwined your life is with his. Ice cream trips. Movie nights with takeout. Walks in the park catching up on your week. Doing all of it by yourself feels wrong, like you’re cheating on your best friend by not including him. But that’s absurd. Right? You’re staring at your ceiling in bed on Sunday night, thinking about the last time you had a sleepover with Beomgyu. You had both been a little drunk, giggling over the smallest things, and even though he had been further gone than you, he helped you get ready for bed. Used a makeup wipe to gently remove your mascara, made you brush your teeth while he watched. He’d then patted you on the head once you’d crawled into your sheets, saluting you as he clumsily made his way to the couch to fall asleep himself.

You turn to face the empty side of your bed, wishing he was here beside you.

…wait.

What?

You roll back immediately to stare at your ceiling again. You wished he was here beside you? He never stayed in your bed with you, even on your drunkest of nights…he was always on the couch. So why did your brain suddenly think that? Flashes of New Years Eve come crashing back into your head, Beomgyu’s lips insistently pressed against yours, tongue seeking entrance to your mouth before you had stepped away. The memories make you feel warm and tingly all over, wishing again that he was laying beside you. And you remember how you haven’t been able to get him out of your head all week, even though he’s gone to do shows before. All of it together suddenly makes sense, and you want to hide from yourself at how stupid you’ve been.

You just might be in love with your best friend.

—-----------------------------

Your realization haunts you through the next day. You want to wait to talk to Beomgyu until he’s home, but something keeps tugging at you the whole day to reach out before then. A text seems entirely too casual, plus what would you say? ‘Hey I think I love you?’ Absolutely not. You’ll call him.

Except when you finally sit down to do so after dinner that night, it goes to voicemail. Of course it does, he has a show tonight. Nevertheless, you brace yourself to record after the beep-you’ve thought way too hard about what you need to say to chicken out now.

~Beep~

“Hey, Beomgyu, I hope your show is going really well tonight…um, I just wanted to call because-nothing’s wrong, so don’t worry about that! Anyway, I just thought it was too important to send via text so here I am, leaving a voicemail…”

You take a deep breath, realizing that you’ve started to ramble and aren’t making a ton of sense.

“-like I said, this is important. One, I am so sorry I stepped away from you on New Years Eve, I think I just freaked out? There was absolutely nothing wrong with you kissing me, at all. It was nice, actually. Two, I miss you a stupid amount. This weekend every time I did anything, I wanted you with me…which leads me to three. I realized because of how much I missed you that I want to spend time with you all the time. I found myself wishing you were sleeping next to me last night? So that was new. Anyway, all that to say-I miss you. I miss hanging out with you. I figured out I miss your lips and that kiss from New Years as well, so what I’m trying to spit out is…I think I love you, and-”

You’re suddenly cut off by the beep of his voicemail box, telling you you’ve reached the message time limit.

“Dammit!” you curse, hurling your phone against your couch. You let out a shaky breath, and pick it back up.

There’s nothing to do now but wait.

—--------------------------------

You fall asleep waiting, and wake up to a singular text from Beomgyu.

Gyu (9:59 AM): Are you coming to our homecoming show tonight?

Okay, so maybe he didn’t listen to your voicemail. That’s okay, right? You’ll just see him in person. And tell him your feelings. In person.

You (10:02 AM): Front row, wouldn’t miss it! :)

Your response seems nonchalant, but your stomach is churning and you feel like you might throw up. You decide that working from home might be the best plan for the day, and so you turn to spreadsheets, emails, and reading articles to distract you from what might be the end of your world as you know it.

Soon enough, 6:00 rolls around and you shut off your laptop as you finish off a quick dinner you had made for yourself as you finished up the day’s tasks. You decide to treat tonight as just a normal show you’re going to, throwing on a distressed band tee (Beomgyu’s band MOA, artfully bleached and torn by yours truly) with black jeans and stomper boots, accented with a red lip.

You grab your purse off the counter and quickly dash out the door to walk the few blocks to the dive bar MOA is playing, making sure to get there early so you can be front row like you promised.

Sure enough, you’re one of the first people there and it’s easy for you to choose a spot right in front of where you know Beomgyu will be playing for most of the show. Ten minutes after you arrive, he and the rest of the band walk out to tune their instruments. You give a quick wave to Yeonjun, the band’s lead vocalist, and he nudges Beomgyu, turning his attention to you. He quickly jogs across the stage, leans down and throws his legs over the edge and pulls you into a tight hug.

“Hey stranger, feels like ten years since I’ve seen you. I missed you,” he mumbles into your hair.

You pull back, attempting to fix your hair. Noticing his shaggy black hair’s gotten mussed as well, you push it off his face. Before you can draw your hand away, Beomgyu’s covered it with his own, squeezing it softly.

“You look good in my shirt.” His eyes sparkle mischievously as he motions to your band tee with his other hand, and you roll your eyes even as you can feel your cheeks color.

“Yeah, yeah…don’t you have to get ready for the show, rockstar?”

“I do,” he pouts, “but I’ll come find you later, okay?” You nod, and he stands back up and wanders over to his guitar, picking it up and making sure it’s in tune.

More and more people start to crowd around and behind you, and before you know it, the show has started. You’re scream singing the lyrics just as loudly as anyone else, cheering your heart out at the end of every song. Every so often, you catch smiles that Beomgyu is sending you, and it makes your heart feel like it’s leapt up into your throat. Even though it makes you nervous, you can’t help the smiles you send back in return.

Towards the end of the show, Beomgyu steps up to his mic, addressing the crowd.

“Hey everyone, thanks so much for coming out tonight! Our last song we’re going to play for you is an exclusive-we just workshopped this today, mostly because I just wrote it today. Let us know whether you like it!”

Cheers immediately erupt through the crowd, and simmer down once he starts strumming his guitar and steps up to the mic.

“I know that you like me

And it’s kinda frightenin’

Standing here, waitin’, waitin’

And I became hypnotized

By freckles and bright eyes

Tongue tied”

Beomgyu looks over at you and sends a cheeky wink your way. Wait a second, is he singing…about you?

“Cause you could be the one that I love

I could be the one that you dream of

Message in a bottle is all I can do

Standin' here, hopin' it gets to you

You could be the one that I keep, and I

Can be the reason you can't sleep at night

Message in a bottle is all I can do

Standin' here, hopin' it gets to you”

You feel rooted to the spot, staring at the boy in front of you as he sings, staring straight at you, no trace of embarrassment or shame on his face. You barely notice when Yeonjun takes over singing the next verse, your eyes following Beomgyu instead as he pulls his guitar strap over his head, placing the instrument onto its stand.

He walks in front of your spot in front of the stage, and sits down with his legs dangling over the edge, just as he had before the show. He reaches out toward you slowly, but with purpose, gently cupping the sides of your face. You barely register the screaming and whistling that’s happening around you as the other audience members witness the private moment between the two of you.

Beomgyu slowly slides his thumb across your cheek, his eyes glimmering with mischief and something you can’t quite place as he leans towards you.

“Is this okay?” he whispers, barely audible over the song.

You wrap your arms around his neck in response, pulling him to his feet off the stage, crashing your lips onto his. His lips are full and soft just like you remember, and that warm and tingly feeling from before is even stronger, prompting you to be the one who gently asks for entrance to his mouth with your tongue, which he eagerly grants. You’re not sure how long the two of you stand there, too wrapped up in each other to care what’s happening around you. Beomgyu finally pulls back for air, a huge smile on his face that he can’t get rid of. He leans his forehead against yours as he breathes heavily, and begins laughing. It feels contagious, and you’re so giddy you can’t help but join in.

“You are the one I dream of,” you breathe out between giggles.

“I’m glad…because you’re the one that I love. I love you too,” Beomgyu states simply, landing another kiss on your lips.

“I take it you got my voicemail?”

“Of course I did, and I saved it. Just figured I’d respond in person. With a song that I wrote for you…among the others I’ve written about you, this one just happens to be the only one that’s seen the light of day. And it’s a hit!” He gestures around you, where Yeonjun is finishing out the song and the crowd has erupted into raucous cheers.

“There’s…others?” Your eyes widen in surprise.

“Many others…I’ll play them for you if you’re lucky. I’m just glad you got my message in a bottle.”

—-------------------------------

Taglist: @hyungieyoongi @alpacaparkaseok @derinxfam

Check out my other work here!

This Love

Pairing: Beomgyu x reader with a tiny bit of Taehyun x reader

Genre: Fluff, a little angst, Regency!AU

Tropes: Childhood friends to enemies to lovers, miscommunication, slight love triangle

Word Count: 8.6k

Warnings: SFW, mentions of blood

Synopsis: Once upon a time, you were in love with Choi Beomgyu...but that was before you grew up, he left, he changed, and now you want nothing to do with him. So why is it that you can't seem to escape him, even when another man is courting you?

Author's Note: This is a part of A Season of Refreshments and Courtship collab! Other fics will be posted throughout the month, so be sure to check those out. This story was heavily inspired by This Love by Taylor Swift...obsessed!

“You truly don’t know how horrid you are, do you?” Your eyes narrow as you tilt your head upwards, looking at the man across from you directly in the eyes.

His eyes sparkle playfully as he steps closer, hand outstretched to take your own in his palm.

“Please, enlighten me…nothing would make my heart more glad than for you to regale me with your opinions on my upstanding character.”

You let out a huff in response, gripping his hand tighter than necessary as you take light steps around his lanky figure.

“Firstly, you cannot hardly go more than a moment without mentioning your skill at fencing-an admirable skill in a normal person, but must you drone on and on at length? Secondly, you refuse to take your role as your father’s heir seriously.” At this, the gentleman across from you opens his mouth to refute your claim, but you barrel on. 

“Most importantly, you are a rake…don’t think I haven’t heard about your exploits via Yeonjun,” you hiss, glancing over your shoulder at your older brother before bringing your gaze back to the man you’re dancing with.

“Ah yes, yours truly, the most devious rake of the ton. That must be why your mother invited me to the opera with your family tomorrow night?” A smirk tugs at the corner of his mouth as he sees you try to hide your look of dismay. “Something about trying to get you married off soon…seems I’m one of the most eligible bachelors of the season. A far cry from a rake, I’d say.”

Marrying Choi Beomgyu…what on earth was your mother thinking? Did she want you to be miserable for all of your days?

—---------------------------------------

“Is it true? Mother wants to marry me off?” You’ve cornered Yeonjun the next morning after breakfast.

He sighs and runs a hand through his hair, avoiding eye contact.

“Surely you can’t be that surprised? You are of a marriageable age, sister.”

“Yes…but isn’t your engagement enough to be getting on with? Why worry about me?” You pace across the room, and Yeonjun brings his gaze up to follow your movements. 

“She’s occupied somewhat with my engagement, but you know better than anyone that she wants to make sure you’re taken care of. It’s different for a woman, you know that. I’m expected to be the head of the household now…she just wants to make sure you have someone that can provide for you.”

“...I can provide for myself,” you seethe, collecting the plates and silverware from breakfast and bringing them to the sink.

Yeonjun sighs. “I know you can, but I also know that Mother won’t rest until she finds a suitable match for you.”

“A suitable match being Choi Beomgyu?” You glare at your brother, daring him to affirm your statement. 

“W-what?!” He splutters incredulously as you let out a small laugh at his expression.

“According to Beomgyu himself, he’s been invited to attend the opera with us tonight. Because Mother thinks he may be a good match for me.” You roll your eyes in a most unladylike fashion, but at this juncture, who is around to care?

“Just because the two of you used to be childhood friends doesn’t mean you’d be a good match now. I suppose I did catch the two of you kissing in the garden once when you were thirteen though…” Yeonjun raises an eyebrow at you while letting out a laugh.

“We were CHILDREN, I didn’t know any better. I didn’t think he’d turn out so…so…immature and ridiculous!”

“He is rich, though. And handsome.” 

It’s your turn to raise an eyebrow.

“What? I’m just stating facts. The rich part is probably what Mother’s interested in though. That and the fact that our families have been friends for goodness knows how long. If you don’t want to marry him, you’d better find someone else suitable to go in his place…and fast.”

—-------------------------------------- 

Turns out that ‘someone’ Yeonjun mentioned wasn’t so hard to find.

“I’d like for all of you to meet Kang Taehyun, one of my best friends from our boarding school days…he’s fresh from his Grand Tour of the continent!” Beomgyu waves his arm with a flourish, stepping to the side to reveal a handsome blond gentleman with sharp features and wide eyes standing behind him.

“The pleasure is all mine, I can assure you.” Taehyun lowers his head in a bow to the group, which consists of your parents, Yeonjun, his fiancee Eliza, and yourself. His gaze lingers on you a beat longer than the others, which doesn’t go unnoticed by either you or your mother. As you take your seats, Taehyun makes it a point to sit to your right, and Beomgyu sits on your left. 

You sit in silence through act one of the opera, entranced by the talent of the performers on stage. As though a cue was given to the both of them, the two men to either side of you lean towards you.

“It’s rather boring, don’t you think?” Beomgyu whispers rather loudly while sending you a smirk.

“They’re so talented, don’t you think?” is Taehyun’s counter, smiling gently at you with sparkling eyes.

You smooth your skirts as you adjust in your chair to be facing more towards Taehyun, ignoring Beomgyu’s comment completely, which causes him to immediately begin sulking in his seat.

As you chat with the newcomer throughout the remainder of the performance, you discover that Taehyun just arrived from Rome, where he had been studying art.

“I’ve returned with so many paintings, I simply couldn’t bear to only have a few. I’d love to show you them, if your ladyship would be interested, of course.”

You can’t help the grin that makes its way across your face at his request.

“I would be delighted, Taehyun. In return, I can show you some of my work-I write in my spare time, and I hope to become a published author one day.” 

At this admission, Taehyun’s eyes grow wide and he eagerly nods in interest.

“Surely you can’t be serious?” Beomgyu scoffs from behind you. You turn to look at him, and confusion clouds Taehyun’s face.

“Surely I can’t be serious about what?” you counter, daring him to make a scene in public.

“You’ve just met the man, and you’re offering to show him your writing because he wants to show off the paintings he bought while he was in Italy? Doesn’t seem quite a fair trade-off to me.” 

“Just because you lost interest in my writings years ago, doesn’t mean no one else wants to read them, Beomgyu. Some of us want to actually make something of ourselves, and have an impact on the world. Don’t you think there must be more to life than gambling, fencing, and breaking women’s hearts?”

Hurt races across Beomgyu’s face for two seconds before he schools his face back into neutrality. Before he has the chance to reply, you’ve turned back towards Taehyun.

“Now, what were we discussing?”

The gentleman in front of you shakes his head, taken aback by the exchange he had just witnessed. “Just…just your writings. I must say, Miss Y/L/N, that was rather forward of you just now with Beomgyu. Are you always this forthcoming with your opinions?”

You raise an eyebrow, unsure of whether you’re being judged or not.

“Yes, I tend to speak my mind more often than not. Why do you ask?”

Taehyun reaches for your gloved hand, bringing it to his lips and looking up at you.

“Women with wit tend to make life more interesting, that’s all.” 

—----------------------------------------

The next morning, you awake to your mother opening the curtains in your room, sunlight streaming onto your face.

“Get up, you have to get ready!”

“For what?” you grumble, pulling the covers towards your head to block out the light. This does nothing to deter your mother, who simply pulls the covers completely off the bed, leaving you no choice but to get up.

“Morning calls, of course! You’ve already received flowers from Beomgyu today, which is very kind of him.” Your mom smiles warmly, which you can’t help but roll your eyes at.

“Y/N, don’t be so unbearable! Beomgyu has been nothing but nice to you for years, and you used to be such good friends when you were small…what happened? His mother and I always imagined the two of you would be betrothed!”

“Don’t remind me,” you groan, your mother’s smile faltering as she goes to leave. She is quick to replace it with a smug look as she turns back to you in the doorway. 

“You’ve also received a lovely bouquet from Mr. Kang, if that’s of any interest. You’ll need to be ready to receive both of them in the foyer in an hour, so make haste.” And with that, she’s gone.

—--------------------------------

An hour later, you’re nervously scuffing your foot against the floorboards awaiting the arrival of your two potential suitors…the thought alone makes you want to turn and run far, far away.

Choi Beomgyu, your childhood best friend. A long time ago, you would have jumped at the chance to marry him. He made you laugh, he was sweet, and he believed in all of your dreams, no matter how lofty they were. He was quick to see the best in situations, treated your family well, and yes…he was handsome, and had frustratingly only gotten more so as he’d grown older. 

But that was before everything changed. He’d gone away to boarding school at fourteen, the only communication between the two of you letters. The letters eventually stopped after a couple of years. You supposed you’d just grown apart, a natural side effect of growing up…but then you heard the rumors about his gambling. Womanizing. When he returned, any interactions with you seemed like he was only trying to get under your skin for the fun of it. He wasn’t the Beomgyu you had been enamored by as a young girl, and it both angered you and made you feel like there was a small hole in your heart. It was unfair-you had remained the same, and he’d become a worse version of himself.

On the other hand, there was Kang Taehyun. Though wary of the fact that he was friends with Beomgyu, you could tell from your interactions at the opera that they were not the same type of person. Taehyun shared a lot of your interests, wasn’t threatened by the fact that you had ambition or opinions, and seemed to even enjoy the fact that you were more than willing to put Beomgyu in his place when needed. He too was handsome, though in a different way than Beomgyu was. You were somewhat surprised that he had made his intentions clear this early on-was he someone that you could see yourself marrying? You had just about given up on the idea of a love match, believing that a marriage of convenience was the best you could hope for. And as far as convenience went, Taehyun didn’t seem too bad of an option…he couldn’t be any worse than Beomgyu, after all.

Your thoughts were interrupted by a loud knock at the door, and the entrance of both men in question. No sooner than the obligatory pleasantries had passed, Beomgyu was stepping forward, asking you to take a walk through the garden. 

“Actually, I would rather-” Your sentence is cut off by a quick nudge of your mother’s elbow to your ribs, as she gives you a look.

“I’d love to,” you manage to spit out without looking completely disgusted, threading your arm through his when he offers it.

As you walk into the bright sunlight, there is silence for a few moments until Beomgyu breaks it, speaking slightly too loud at first and then adjusting his tone.

“Lovely weather we’re having.”

“Yes, I suppose it is rather pleasant. Company withstanding, of course.”

“I cannot be that bad, Y/N. I’ve had many glowing reviews from other ladies who have spent afternoons in my company.” Beomgyu grins at you, and you remain stone faced. “What?”

“Why, pray tell, do you think I want to hear about all the time you have spent with other eligible women? Isn’t that the last subject you should be broaching with someone you seem hellbent on marrying whether she is interested or not?” Your voice is getting louder with each sentence, face flushing due to both your emotions and the heat of the day.

“I was only jesting, I didn’t mean-” Beomgyu starts, eyes wide with shock.

“You never do mean much, do you? It’s rather bigheaded of you to think you can just come waltzing back into my life without so much a care in the world, assuming you’ll be able to swoop in and marry me!” You’re surprised to find tears swimming in your eyes, which you quickly brush away.

Beomgyu steps forward tentatively, reaching towards your hand, but you snatch it back out of his reach. He falters, rubbing the back of his neck and not quite able to look you in the eyes.

“Once upon a time, you said you wanted to marry me…”

“Yes, Beomgyu, when we were kids and I didn’t know any better. Before I knew what I wanted.”

He looks up, brown eyes searching yours, like he might find a secret you’ve been keeping all these years. “And what’s that?”

Just then, Taehyun strides up the path, calling out to you. You wipe the last tear away from your face, and school your features into a smile before you turn away from Beomgyu.

“Taehyun! How nice to see you again.”

—--------------------------------------

Like your walk with Beomgyu, your walk with Taehyun through the garden starts in silence, the two of you admiring the bright blooms that adorn each side of the path.

Taehyun eventually clears his throat and turns to you, bright eyed but seeming slightly timid.

“Miss Y/L/N…forgive me if this is too personal a question, but are you alright? It seemed like your conversation with Mr. Choi was getting rather heated, and I never like to see a lady upset.”

You let out a small sigh and gaze into Taehyun’s eyes, trying to decide whether to be honest. His earnestness sways you-you may be marrying him after all, so what’s the harm in telling the truth?

“I am…alright. It’s just, Beomgyu and I have a lot of history, we’ve known each other since we were children. He knows all the ways to get under my skin, and chooses to use that to torment me endlessly…yet now he believes that he should have the privilege of being my betrothed, when none of his actions or words seem to line up if that’s the goal he has in mind.”

Taehyun is quiet as he ponders over what you’ve said, guiding you towards the center of the garden.

“He talks about you a lot, you know.”

You glance up, eyes wide in surprise and Taehyun chuckles.

“It’s true. When I first met Beomgyu at boarding school, he had a hard time making friends. And the friends he did make, he was always talking about you. Days when he’d receive letters from you, you couldn’t dampen his mood no matter how hard you tried. He cares for you a great deal even now, even if he’s too bullheaded to show it properly.”

Taehyun pauses now and faces toward you. “The question is, how do you feel about him?” 

It’s only then that you notice where the two of you have stopped-the dead center of the garden, in front of the willow tree where Yeonjun had caught Beomgyu kissing you on the cheek all those years ago. You had been beyond embarrassed that your older brother had caught the two of you, but Beomgyu had only beamed while flushing a deep scarlet. “Are you planning on marrying my sister, hmm?” Yeonjun had laughed. You had run away before you could be embarrassed any further.

You’re shaken back to the present by Taehyun repeating his question to you.

“When I was a foolish little girl, I entertained the notion of marrying Beomgyu when I was older. He changed when he went away to boarding school, and that is that. I am much more interested in pursuing other avenues to marriage…namely you, if you will have me, that is.” 

You have the sense to at least look away from Taehyun as you say this, knowing it was potentially crossing the line, even for you who was used to saying whatever came to mind. 

Taehyun’s laughter rings out across the garden, and when you look up, his eyes are sparkling with mirth. “Well, when you put it that way, how could I refuse? You surely do know how to keep a man on his toes. Shall I declare my intentions then?”

A light flush dusts your cheeks, pleased that he is interested in marriage and at the fact that this will free you from Beomgyu’s efforts once and for all.

“I will have my mother arrange a picnic, and we shall be the talk of the ton.”

—------------------------------------------

Your mother is only too eager to prepare an extravagant picnic once you tell her about Taehyun’s intentions to declare an engagement.

“I knew you two would be a good match! He’s so kind, and he comes from a good family. You’ll be well taken care of!” 

You can’t help but roll your eyes good-naturedly, but her excitement is contagious and you find yourself looking forward to the picnic…and dare you say it, your impending engagement. Taehyun is pleasant company, and maybe, just maybe-eventually you may grow to love him. That thought alone causes faint butterflies to erupt in your stomach.

The day of the picnic arrives, sunny and warm. You put on a brand new dress your mother had gifted you, a soft lavender, and once you step outside, you see that company has already started to arrive. 

There are multiple tents set up with food and drink, croquet is set out on the lawn, and people are milling about chatting with each other. Movement in your periphery draws your attention, and as you turn, you see Beomgyu approaching you. You give a polite curtsy as he inclines his head toward you. 

“You look…” He seems at a loss for words.

“...yes?”

“You look beautiful.” There is no trace of humor in his voice, and his eyes glow with warmth as he holds eye contact a beat more than is proper.

“She always does, doesn’t she?” Taehyun appears on your other side, offering you his arm which you gladly take. “Catch up with you later?” He offers to Beomgyu, leading you away to make the obligatory social rounds as one of the hostesses of the event.

—-------------------------------

The picnic is a rousing success-that is, until there’s a commotion over at one of the tents. You head that way, curious what is causing such a disturbance. You maneuver through the gathered crowd, only to see Beomgyu and Taehyun at the center.

“A fencing match, for old time’s sake?” 

Of course Beomgyu is trying to cause chaos in the middle of what is supposed to be your engagement announcement…because why not?

“If you’re willing to be embarrassed and lose in front of everyone, absolutely.”

Your head whips around to look at Taehyun, surprised to see him take the bait. He’s smiling coolly, confident in his abilities. Meanwhile Beomgyu has a wild glint to his eyes-you know he’s competitive, but there’s something else there you can’t quite place.

The two men march away from the tent to an open space, and Yeonjun appears with two fencing sabres seemingly out of nowhere. Taehyun and Beomgyu each remove their jackets and take up the proper stance.

“En garde!” Beomgyu shouts, and the impromptu match begins. It goes on for longer than you think, and surprisingly all the bragging Beomgyu had done about his fencing skills weren’t just for show. He’s keeping up with Taehyun, and occasionally getting a few jabs in.

Your mother gives a loud and obvious ‘tsk’, and as you turn to look at her, Beomgyu’s voice rings out across the yard, almost a growl and deeper than his normal baritone.

Your gaze flies to the source of the sound, and you can see Beomgyu clutching at his shoulder, a bright red blooming under the stark white of his shirt.

Taehyun steps forward, forehead scrunched in concern, reaching out to examine the wound, but before he can reach the man in front of him, you’ve beaten him to it.

You don’t recall how you got from the tent you’d been standing under to Beomgyu, and you don’t particularly care. Up close, you can tell that he’s lost a decent amount of blood, and as you look up your eyes lock. He’s clearly shocked that you’re standing in front of him, his breath tickling the stray hairs that have fallen across your forehead in the heat of the day.

“Miss Y/L/N…” he murmurs. “I’ll be fine, I just need to wash up.”

Without saying a word, you grab his hand not attached to his wounded shoulder, leading him up to the house while the crowd watches on, flabbergasted. As the two of you move away, whispers start flying. 

You pay them no mind, marching Beomgyu through the front door and into the bathroom. You force him to sit, rolling up his sleeve just past his elbow. Though the shirt is loose-fitting, you can’t get it to roll up any further. 

“I’m…just…trying…to see!” you exclaim, watching the sleeve get caught on Beomgyu’s bicep yet again.

“Here, let me.” He gently pushes your hand out of the way, and using his uninjured arm, balls up the fabric and pulls harshly…so harshly, there’s a loud ripping noise as his left sleeve completely detaches from his shirt. 

You’re left gaping at his exposed arm for two reasons. One, the open wound on his shoulder is bleeding more freely now that there is no barrier stopping it. Two, even beneath all the blood that’s started to cake, you can see defined muscles that were most certainly not there before Beomgyu went off to boarding school.

“Are you okay?” Beomgyu’s voice startles you back to the present, where you swiftly take a cloth, soak it with lukewarm water, and begin to gently clean on and around his wound. He grimaces as you have to use more pressure closer to the cut.

“At least it’s relatively surface level, at least from what I can see. You should be okay if you don’t use a wide range of motion, I think.” You stand back, admiring your handiwork after wrapping the wound in clean strips of cloth.

“Thank you,” he murmurs, and as you glance up, he meets your gaze with an intense stare. 

“Is there something wrong? Is it too tight? I can rewrap it-”

“What do you see in him?”

You’re left agog at Beomgyu’s sudden question. “W-what?”

“What do you see in him?” He repeats, softer and almost shyly.

“Who?” You quirk an eyebrow, wondering if he’s really inquiring into your love life after his arm has been sliced open.

“Taehyun.”

He is.

“He’s kind, and from a good family. He’s intelligent, and doesn’t think that I’m silly for wanting to write stories for a living. Taehyun likes that I have opinions, it’s…refreshing.”

Beomgyu’s eyes narrow slightly as it seems he is considering your words. Silence fills the small space, and as it continues, it feels like you’re starting to suffocate. 

Just when you think you can’t take it any longer, his response shatters the tension, but replaces it with something else.

“I’ve always loved your stories. And hearing your opinions.” Your eyes go wide. “Our families have been friends for years. I’m smart enough.” As he continues, Beomgyu stands and moves closer to you. “I’m not always the kindest person, but I would never mistreat you.”

You’re inches apart now, but you won’t stand for Beomgyu and whatever he’s trying to pull to ruin your potential engagement to Taehyun. Not even if your heart feels like it’s beating so hard it might fall out of your chest. You glare up at the man in front of you.

“Beomgyu, are you jealous?”

He raises his hand to your shoulder, tracing along the lavender lace that sits on the seam of your dress. Just as you move to swat his hand away, he speaks and you’re left stunned.

“Does Taehyun know that I left a permanent mark on you?” He slides the fabric an inch or two, leaving your collarbone exposed. Beomgyu then moves his fingers to gently ghost over an almost invisible scar that starts at your shoulder, his touch causing both the sensation of butterflies and a deep longing to fling yourself at him as he stops just as the scar dips towards your decolletage. 

Heat burns its way through your body, landing on your cheeks. Beomgyu had given you that scar when you were children, a fencing match with sticks gone awry.

“He doesn’t,” you breathe, unable to form any other words as his hand lifts your chin, forcing you to make eye contact.

“If you’ll have me, he never will.” Beomgyu’s baritone wraps around you and it's as if you can feel his words seeping into your very bones.

Just then, the door flies open and there stands Taehyun.

“I just wanted to check on…oh.” His wide eyes take in the scene before him. Your dress pushed off your shoulder, Beomgyu’s hand under your chin, and your proximity to each other.

“Taehyun, it’s not what it looks like, I can explain!” You hastily push Beomgyu’s hand away, slipping your dress back fully onto your shoulder and moving towards the man in the doorframe.

“I’ll just see myself out.” He simply backs away through the door, closing it behind him like he was never there. Strangely, he didn’t seem angry. There was an odd look in his eyes that you couldn’t quite place, though.

“Beomgyu, I’m sorry, I have to go, I have to talk to him, I’m sorry!” You fling the door open yourself, following quickly after the man you were supposed to marry. 

Beomgyu is left behind, ripped shirt, pink cheeks, and looking for all the world like his heart’s been shattered into a million pieces.

—--------------------------------------------------------------------

“Taehyun…Taehyun!” You’re out of breath, losing steam as you pick up your skirts to run after the man who had just left.

How had he managed to get so far in such a short amount of time?

You exit the house, round the corner to the gardens, and run headlong into something hard and solid, almost losing your balance.

Before you can fall to the ground, a pair of strong arms steadies you and you look up into the startled eyes of Taehyun himself.

“Miss…are you alright?” His wide eyes scan you for any sign of injury.

“I’m fine, thank you. I just needed to explain, what you saw back there isn’t what you think it is, I-”

Taehyun holds out an arm to you calmly. “Let’s take a walk, shall we?”

Bewildered, you take his arm, not sure what’s happening. He guides you into the garden, just as he had the day after you met. After a few moments of silence, you attempt to speak again.

“Taehyun, it’s not what you think.”

“And what exactly do you think that I think it is?” He raises an eyebrow at you, a hint of a smirk playing across his face.

“It’s just, well…I’m sure you must think that I am sneaking around behind your back with Choi Beomgyu. I’m not, I swear on it! I was just trying to help with his injury, and then he was just too close and, and…we are not together, I would never risk my honor in that way! I am still very much interested in you as a potential match.” Your arms are flailing around as you explain, cheeks burning in humiliation.

Taehyun gently reaches for your arms, bringing them down to your sides. He looks down at you, warmth and kindness emanating from his gaze.

“I do not think you are two-timing me, Miss Y/N. And though I am interested in you as a potential match as well, I am afraid I no longer think it would be best for me to follow through on my proposal to you.”

Your eyes widen in horror as the two of you come to a stop, again in front of the willow tree from your youth.

“Taehyun, I’m sorry! I-I,” you stammer, tears welling up in your eyes. You can’t believe this is happening-in one moment, any hopes for your future have been swept away. All because you let your guard down in front of your childhood best friend.

“Let me explain,” Taehyun murmurs, swiping away an errant tear that has fought its way down your cheek. “It has been beyond apparent to me that my old schoolmate is still deeply enamored with you, and has been since we were young. Time has done little to nothing to change that. Upon meeting you, I came to realize what he saw in you-you’re brilliant, driven, and won’t take no for an answer. Of course, you are also stunningly beautiful. I felt so incredibly lucky that you were interested in me rather than Beomgyu. However, as time has progressed, I got an inkling that there may have been some unresolved feelings on your end as well. You said there were not, and I believed you.”

“But I don’t-” you start to protest, Taehyun moving his finger in front of your lips.

“What I just saw proves my original inclination to be right…you do have feelings for Choi Beomgyu, whether you realize it or not. You may be deep in denial to yourself, Miss Y/N, but I know that the way you were looking at him was not the way you look at someone you detest. As much as it pains me to do so, I fear I must back out of this competition…I refuse to be the reason that the two of you cannot be together.”

By this point, tears are fully streaming down your face. You want to refute what Taehyun is saying, tell him he’s wrong…the problem is, you’re not sure he is.

“This is where I must take my leave. I wish you and Beomgyu all the best, and I hope that you are able to at the very least reconcile your differences, if nothing more.”

Taehyun gives a short bow, striding stiffly toward the front gate. As he moves out of sight, there’s a rustling movement behind you. You tense up, afraid that you’ve made too much noise, drawing guests from the picnic towards the gardens. You let out a sigh of relief as you realize it’s just Eliza, Yeonjun’s fiance. 

“Y/N, you look awful! Are you okay?” 

As she draws closer, tears start rolling down your cheeks again.

“What? What is it? What happened?” She’s swimming in front of you, your vision blurred as she envelops you in a hug.

“B-Beomgyu did.” His name alone makes you break down into full on sobs, muffled into Eliza’s shoulder.

—----------------------------------------------------

As you wipe your tears away, Eliza leads you over to a bench to sit down.

“Now, tell me what happened.” 

You steady yourself with a deep breath before launching into what feels like your entire life story. All the way back to childhood, long summer days spent running around the grounds with Beomgyu-fencing with sticks, climbing trees, and spying on your older brother, which makes Eliza giggle.

Boarding school, and writing letters back and forth to each other until suddenly you weren’t. Rumors of womanizing and gambling. How you had retreated into yourself, feeling utterly betrayed by your best friend. You’d begun to seriously focus on writing when all the while your mother had wanted you to focus on finding a proper marriage match.

Which leads you all the way up until now, Beomgyu being back. Assuming he could be one of your suitors. Taehyun. What had transpired in the bathroom, and your conversation with Taehyun.

“In conclusion, I have no marriage options, mother is going to be angry at me until the day I die, and Beomgyu is still beyond frustrating to me,” you huff, blowing loose hairs out of your eyes.

“I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but your mother has arranged a ball for this upcoming weekend in celebration of you and Taehyun’s impending proposal. Once Beomgyu got injured today, she figured it would be best to reschedule an event for that purpose.” 

You groan.

“Regardless, she’ll find out one way or another that the proposal isn’t going to happen. My question for you is-this business about Beomgyu’s injury and your conversation with Taehyun…is it true?”

You begin to pick at your fingernails as you think about Eliza’s question, eventually looking at her. “Does Beomgyu have feelings for me? I think he may have when we were younger, but as of right now, I have no-”

“That’s not what I’m asking, it’s plain as day that man has feelings for you, and I’ve barely interacted with him. What I’m asking is, how do you feel about him?” Eliza raises an eyebrow expectantly as your mouth drops open in surprise. “Close your mouth, you’ll attract flies.”

You let out a strangled laugh, and instead of answering her question, you reply with another.

“How did you know you loved Yeonjun?”

Eliza takes the question in stride, pondering for a few moments before she answers.

“I knew I loved your brother when the idea of being in a relationship with any other man held no interest for me. Yeonjun made it very clear from the beginning that he was only interested in me…he was always sending flowers and small trinkets, asking to accompany me on outings, writing letters that were surprisingly heartfelt for how I know him to be now.” You giggle, imagining your older brother being sentimental. “It took me longer to sort out my feelings, his attention was honestly overwhelming at times. But when I laid in bed at night, I would always think about when I would see him again before I fell asleep. That’s when I knew I loved Yeonjun…and I cannot be more pleased to be marrying him.” Her cheeks turn pink as she finishes.

“Does he ever make you mad?” you counter. 

“Of course! Every man can be frustrating, and every person for that matter. No one can agree with everyone all the time. But even when he angers me, I always want to make things right. I couldn’t stand it if we were at odds for too long.”

Eliza tilts her head curiously at you. “Why are you asking me all this?”

You think back to everything you’ve told her. Childhood crushes, teenage heartbreak. All the time spent, secrets shared. The injury running across your collarbone. Letters, so many letters…all of which had been shoved under your floorboard for safekeeping. Though you hadn’t looked at them in ages, you couldn’t quite bring yourself to throw them out either. Taehyun’s words echo through your mind…

“I know that the way you were looking at him was not the way you look at someone you detest.”

You look at Eliza, a rueful smile on your face.

“My feelings for Beomgyu are…complicated. I wish it was like the way you are with my brother, but he infuriates me to no end sometimes. If he cares for me, he needs to tell me so, otherwise we will be stuck in this endless loop of confusion and heartache for all eternity.”

And with that, you march back towards the house, leaving Eliza bewildered in your wake.

—------------------------------------------------------------

Eliza’s words prove true-your mother has busied herself with preparations for a ball, to be thrown in your honor. Every time you see her making plans, putting decorations up, anything, you know you should talk to her and tell her that you no longer have any marriage prospects, that you’ve made a mess of everything.

You come close one day, as she sweeps past you, gobs of flowy fabric in her hands. You call out to her, but as she turns to face you, she seems so happy that you swallow your words before they can even leave your mouth.

And that leads you to now…the night of the ball. Your stomach is roiling, and you almost feel lightheaded as you make your way towards the throng of people milling about. They’re here for you, for Taehyun. Your eyes dart around for the man in question, finding him chatting across the room with Yeonjun. You see your brother nod in your direction, and Taehyun turns, making eye contact with you. You both freeze for a moment. He then gives you a curt nod, and goes back to his conversation. Yeonjun raises an eyebrow to you in question, but you give a slight shake of your head in return.

“Penny for your thoughts?” A deep baritone whispers in your ear, making the hairs on the back of your neck stand up.

You turn, and it feels as if your breathing has been even more constricted than it already was by your undergarments. You’re met with Beomgyu’s brown eyes staring into your own, and as you skitter backwards in shock, his arms come up to hold you steady. 

“Are you alright? I apologize if I startled you.”

Your breath still seems to be caught in your throat, but you manage to nod meekly in response.

“Here, let me get you a drink.”

Beomgyu walks a few paces with you, grabbing a glass off a passing tray and handing it gently to you. You take a sip, the crisp bubbles seeming to open your throat again.

“How’s your arm?” you ask, eyes wide with concern. He shouldn’t be here at a ball when he’s injured, you think to yourself.

“Almost good as new, thanks to you…I had a doctor examine it as well, just in case, and he said he couldn’t have done a better job patching it up himself.” Beomgyu grins at you, twisting his arm at odd angles just to show you he can.

You smile in return, but he notices that it doesn’t quite meet your eyes.

“Is there something bothering you, darling?” 

Your heart skips a beat at his term of endearment, and your stomach goes queasy at the idea of telling him about everything that’s happened with Taehyun. You start wringing your hands together, unable to fully look Beomgyu in the eye. 

He reaches forward, untangling your hands with his own, running his thumbs gently over the backs of your hands which have started to turn red with irritation.

“You can tell me anything, always.” You don’t think you’ve ever seen him look this earnest in all the years you’ve known him, no trace of humor in his eyes.

Just as you start to reply, you hear a loud cough behind you. Beomgyu immediately releases your hands from his grasp, but it’s too late.

Your mother saw everything.

“Y/N, what is this? Shouldn’t you be dancing with Taehyun?” She looks between the two of you, clearly disappointed.

The brightness in Beomgyu’s eyes dulls a little as she speaks, and it’s almost as if you can see him withdrawing into himself.

“Mother, I’ve been trying to find a way to tell you this for days now…there will be no proposal.”

At this, her eyes go wide and Beomgyu’s eyebrows raise almost to his hairline.

“Why in the world not? What have you done to ruin things this time?” Your mother’s mouth is a thin line, anger written all over her face.

“I’m sure she can explain-” Beomgyu starts, trying to defend you.

“You are not a part of this conversation, Mr. Choi, so I suggest you see yourself out.” Though he’s taller, he shrinks under your mother’s vicious gaze.

“No need, I’m going to see myself out.” You glare at your mother, storming out of the ball so you can be anywhere but here. 

How dare she assume that it was your fault that things were called off? I mean, it sort of was, what with Taehyun arguing that not only did Beomgyu have feelings for you, but that it seemed you had feelings as well.

Your racing thoughts have brought you to the library which sits just off the main foyer. You pace the aisles, dust catching in the dim candlelight around the room. Eventually you slide down a bookcase to sit on the floor, head hung in your hands.

As you sit, breathing as deeply as you can manage in a corset, you hear the door creak open. You sit up straighter, bracing yourself to tell off some couple that’s snuck away from the party.

“Y/N, are you in here?” You’re surprised to see Beomgyu peeking around the corner of a bookshelf, breathing a sigh of relief once he sees you.

“...hi,” you manage weakly. He comes closer, choosing to slide down the bookcase to sit beside you.

“Hey.”

The two of you sit in silence for a few minutes, though it feels comfortable, not stifling.

“So…Taehyun was going to propose?” Beomgyu murmurs softly, though it feels as if the question takes up the whole room.

You look over at him and nod.

“What changed?” You can’t help but notice the twinge of sadness that seems to make his voice shake.

“Taehyun said that he couldn’t propose anymore. He didn’t want to ruin things.” You’ve begun wringing your hands again, and Beomgyu reaches to stop it by resting his hand on top of yours.

“Ruin what?”

You raise your gaze to meet his warm brown one. “He said you loved me…that you never stopped loving me.” Your voice is wobbly, and your stomach feels like it may drop completely out of your body.

Beomgyu lets out a short burst of laughter, which has you glaring at him in return.

“Why are you laughing?!” you huff.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry…I just thought I had made it abundantly clear how I felt about you, that’s all.”

You stare at him, his expression unreadable.

“How…how do you feel about me?”

His hand wraps around your own, bringing it to his lips. Where his lips brush your skin feels like fire has erupted both upon the point of contact and within your heart.

“Taehyun’s right, I do love you. Always have, no matter how hard I tried not to.” He chuckles at your astonished face. “Surely you can’t be that surprised, dearest.” The candlelight is now reflecting in his eyes as he looks over at you, the sweetness in his gaze matching their chocolate color.

How have you been so blind all this time?

A sudden clattering noise steals your attention away from Beomgyu, and you look over to see the sheepish face of your brother placing books back onto a shelf that he’d knocked over.

As he tucks the final one away, he looks up and his embarrassment morphs into astonishment.

“What are you two…what the…did I-?” Yeonjun splutters, not even able to finish a complete thought.

“We were just talking, that’s all.” Beomgyu speaks up for the two of you.

Yeonjun’s eyes scan over the both of you, lingering on the fact that Beomgyu’s hand covers your own. Beomgyu makes no effort to retract his hand, his chin jutting out in defiance, as if he’s daring your brother to say anything else.

Yeonjun doesn’t take the bait, simply rolling his eyes and offering his hand out to you so you can stand. As you adjust your skirts, you look up to find him staring at you curiously.

“You’re expected out there, you know…mother will come looking for you if you don’t show up soon.” You move to follow him out the door, and almost crash into Yeonjun as he turns to face Beomgyu again. “And you-you wait a few minutes before leaving. Don’t want people getting the wrong idea.” With that he looks back at you, eyebrow raised, before striding out the door.

—--------------------------------------------------------------

You hurry down the hall after your brother, slightly out of breath by the time you catch up to him. The two of you walk in silence for a moment before he turns to look at you.

“Are you going to tell me what just happened, or do I have to put the pieces together myself?”

You round on your brother, incensed.

“Why do you need to know? Just so you can tell me to stay away from him like you have our entire lives?”

His steely gaze softens as he takes in your ire. “I just want to know, I’m your brother and I want to make sure you’re taken care of.” You narrow your eyes. “Those things I said about Beomgyu before…weren’t exactly…true.” Yeonjun looks ashamed and can’t quite meet your gaze.

“And what does that mean?”

“What I said about him being a womanizer isn’t true.”

“But why would you make up such a thing?”

“I saw how heartbroken you were once Beomgyu stopped writing you,” he starts.

“I was not-” you interrupt, but he continues talking.

“I know you keep his old letters under your floorboard to this day, sister, as much as you’ve tried to hide it. I saw how heartbroken you were, and I wanted to help. So I made those things up so you wouldn’t care for him any longer. I wanted you to have a proper chance at love, at happiness. It seems you’ve taken that into your own hands,” he smiles ruefully.

“...he said he loved me,” you breathe incredulously.

“Did you also believe he didn’t love you when he kissed you at thirteen?”

You shove Yeonjun’s arm in protest, and he just laughs.

“Eliza was right, you are blind.”

You’re approaching the crowd again, and you start to retort, but your brother starts drifting away from you.

“What’s that? I think I hear my fiancee calling me..”

You huff in indignation, doing your best to melt back into the crowd. 

—---------------------------------------------------

Your mother pretends as if nothing has happened once you make your reappearance. Yeonjun, on the other hand, keeps catching your eye across the room, motioning towards you and trying his best to wink, though it looks like rapid blinking. You can’t help but giggle at how silly he looks.

As promised, Beomgyu had waited several minutes before rejoining the festivities, but just as he moves to join you, you are surprised by Taehyun appearing at your side.

“Would you care to dance?”

“I don’t have much of a choice, do I?” you offer, which makes him smile as you take his outstretched hand.

You settle into a comfortable waltz, making small talk while turning about the ballroom. As the second half of the dance begins, you notice Beomgyu standing in the corner of the room, an unreadable expression on his face as he follows you and Taehyun with his eyes.

As Taehyun turns you through the dance, he notices him as well, sending a small smirk your way.

“He can’t keep his eyes off you, can he?” Your gaze jerks back to the man in front of you at his statement. “Should I expect a wedding invitation anytime soon?”

The air leaves your lungs at his question.

“What?” you choke out, “No, that’s not, we’re not-”

Taehyun’s brow scrunches in confusion. “Did he not tell you he loved you?”

“He did, but-”

“And did you not tell him you loved him in return?” he interrupts.

“It all happened so quickly, and I still thought he was a rake, but Yeonjun explained, and I-”

“Y/N, stop. As I said before, Beomgyu has loved you his whole life, he’s never looked at another woman the way he looks at you. Sure, he talks about fencing a little too much, but if that’s the most bothersome thing about him, surely you can find it in your heart to forgive.”

He’s smiling as he states his case, but you can’t find it in you to smile back. Yeonjun had lied to you about Beomgyu being a womanizer, and here Taehyun was corroborating his story. Your childhood best friend had been in love with you his whole life, and you are just now realizing that you might be able to actually be together. 

The music is dying down, and everything clicks into place…you need to find Beomgyu. Your eyes scan the room, but the one person you’re looking for is missing. 

“Taehyun, I have to go, I have to find him!” you exclaim, hurrying away as you hear a faint farewell behind you.

You move as quickly as possible through the crowd, still unable to find the man you’re looking for. Suddenly, you have an idea.

—----------------------------------------------------------

The night air is slightly chilly, a welcome reprieve from dancing as you make your way through the garden, the path illuminated by lantern light.

It’s as if your feet have a mind of their own, carrying you around a corner where you see broad shoulders in the shadow of the large willow tree.

He turns at the sound of your footsteps, a small smile that doesn’t quite meet his eyes forming.

“I’ve been looking for you,” you say weakly.

“I thought you were busy dancing with Taehyun.”

“I was, and that’s why I need to talk to you,” you state matter-of-factly.

“Why, so you can tell me it was all a big mistake and you do want to marry him after all?”

As you draw closer to him, you can see his shoulders droop as his smile starts to disappear.

“Beomgyu-” 

You reach towards him and he turns away before your hand meets his cheek.

“Tell me you don’t love me.” His voice is dull and lifeless. “Tell me you want to marry him.”

“As usual, you have no idea what I want.” 

His face turns back to yours, confused. 

“Just say what you want, then!” 

His voice carries through the garden, and you can’t help but smile in response.

Beomgyu’s brow raises in confusion.

“I need to know once and for all, what are your feelings towards me? I want nothing more than to stay by your side always, but if you want me to leave, I will never bother you again.” You can hear the desperation in his voice as he draws closer, seemingly without realizing.

“That’s the thing…I think I want you to bother me for the rest of my life.”

You watch as the realization of what you said dawns on him, his eyes lighting up and a true smile breaking across his face. He starts to respond, but before he can say anything your lips are meeting his. His initial shock fades quickly, and he brings one hand to your waist and the other gently cradles the back of your neck.

You’re not sure how long the kiss lasts, but you feel as if you could stay forever in his embrace, in this moment. It just feels…right.

As the two of you separate, Beomgyu leans his forehead against yours, a wide smile on his face. You look into his eyes and laugh.

“You know, I do love you, but you are going to have to do something about how much you brag about fencing.”

His response is to dive in for another kiss, until you hear someone clearing their throat. You spring apart, only to see Yeonjun holding back laughter on the far side of the clearing.

“Can we at least expect a proposal this time around?”

You glare at your brother, but Beomgyu only laughs, drawing you close.

“If she’ll have me.”

—--------------------------------------------------------------------

Taglist: @hyungieyoongi, @alpacaparkaseok, @derinxfam

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Regency Gyu got to 100 notes! Thanks for reading, friends! ☺️

This Love

Pairing: Beomgyu x reader with a tiny bit of Taehyun x reader

Genre: Fluff, a little angst, Regency!AU

Tropes: Childhood friends to enemies to lovers, miscommunication, slight love triangle

Word Count: 8.6k

Warnings: SFW, mentions of blood

Synopsis: Once upon a time, you were in love with Choi Beomgyu...but that was before you grew up, he left, he changed, and now you want nothing to do with him. So why is it that you can't seem to escape him, even when another man is courting you?

Author's Note: This is a part of A Season of Refreshments and Courtship collab! Other fics will be posted throughout the month, so be sure to check those out. This story was heavily inspired by This Love by Taylor Swift...obsessed!

“You truly don’t know how horrid you are, do you?” Your eyes narrow as you tilt your head upwards, looking at the man across from you directly in the eyes.

His eyes sparkle playfully as he steps closer, hand outstretched to take your own in his palm.

“Please, enlighten me…nothing would make my heart more glad than for you to regale me with your opinions on my upstanding character.”

You let out a huff in response, gripping his hand tighter than necessary as you take light steps around his lanky figure.

“Firstly, you cannot hardly go more than a moment without mentioning your skill at fencing-an admirable skill in a normal person, but must you drone on and on at length? Secondly, you refuse to take your role as your father’s heir seriously.” At this, the gentleman across from you opens his mouth to refute your claim, but you barrel on. 

“Most importantly, you are a rake…don’t think I haven’t heard about your exploits via Yeonjun,” you hiss, glancing over your shoulder at your older brother before bringing your gaze back to the man you’re dancing with.

“Ah yes, yours truly, the most devious rake of the ton. That must be why your mother invited me to the opera with your family tomorrow night?” A smirk tugs at the corner of his mouth as he sees you try to hide your look of dismay. “Something about trying to get you married off soon…seems I’m one of the most eligible bachelors of the season. A far cry from a rake, I’d say.”

Marrying Choi Beomgyu…what on earth was your mother thinking? Did she want you to be miserable for all of your days?

—---------------------------------------

“Is it true? Mother wants to marry me off?” You’ve cornered Yeonjun the next morning after breakfast.

He sighs and runs a hand through his hair, avoiding eye contact.

“Surely you can’t be that surprised? You are of a marriageable age, sister.”

“Yes…but isn’t your engagement enough to be getting on with? Why worry about me?” You pace across the room, and Yeonjun brings his gaze up to follow your movements. 

“She’s occupied somewhat with my engagement, but you know better than anyone that she wants to make sure you’re taken care of. It’s different for a woman, you know that. I’m expected to be the head of the household now…she just wants to make sure you have someone that can provide for you.”

“...I can provide for myself,” you seethe, collecting the plates and silverware from breakfast and bringing them to the sink.

Yeonjun sighs. “I know you can, but I also know that Mother won’t rest until she finds a suitable match for you.”

“A suitable match being Choi Beomgyu?” You glare at your brother, daring him to affirm your statement. 

“W-what?!” He splutters incredulously as you let out a small laugh at his expression.

“According to Beomgyu himself, he’s been invited to attend the opera with us tonight. Because Mother thinks he may be a good match for me.” You roll your eyes in a most unladylike fashion, but at this juncture, who is around to care?

“Just because the two of you used to be childhood friends doesn’t mean you’d be a good match now. I suppose I did catch the two of you kissing in the garden once when you were thirteen though…” Yeonjun raises an eyebrow at you while letting out a laugh.

“We were CHILDREN, I didn’t know any better. I didn’t think he’d turn out so…so…immature and ridiculous!”

“He is rich, though. And handsome.” 

It’s your turn to raise an eyebrow.

“What? I’m just stating facts. The rich part is probably what Mother’s interested in though. That and the fact that our families have been friends for goodness knows how long. If you don’t want to marry him, you’d better find someone else suitable to go in his place…and fast.”

—-------------------------------------- 

Turns out that ‘someone’ Yeonjun mentioned wasn’t so hard to find.

“I’d like for all of you to meet Kang Taehyun, one of my best friends from our boarding school days…he’s fresh from his Grand Tour of the continent!” Beomgyu waves his arm with a flourish, stepping to the side to reveal a handsome blond gentleman with sharp features and wide eyes standing behind him.

“The pleasure is all mine, I can assure you.” Taehyun lowers his head in a bow to the group, which consists of your parents, Yeonjun, his fiancee Eliza, and yourself. His gaze lingers on you a beat longer than the others, which doesn’t go unnoticed by either you or your mother. As you take your seats, Taehyun makes it a point to sit to your right, and Beomgyu sits on your left. 

You sit in silence through act one of the opera, entranced by the talent of the performers on stage. As though a cue was given to the both of them, the two men to either side of you lean towards you.

“It’s rather boring, don’t you think?” Beomgyu whispers rather loudly while sending you a smirk.

“They’re so talented, don’t you think?” is Taehyun’s counter, smiling gently at you with sparkling eyes.

You smooth your skirts as you adjust in your chair to be facing more towards Taehyun, ignoring Beomgyu’s comment completely, which causes him to immediately begin sulking in his seat.

As you chat with the newcomer throughout the remainder of the performance, you discover that Taehyun just arrived from Rome, where he had been studying art.

“I’ve returned with so many paintings, I simply couldn’t bear to only have a few. I’d love to show you them, if your ladyship would be interested, of course.”

You can’t help the grin that makes its way across your face at his request.

“I would be delighted, Taehyun. In return, I can show you some of my work-I write in my spare time, and I hope to become a published author one day.” 

At this admission, Taehyun’s eyes grow wide and he eagerly nods in interest.

“Surely you can’t be serious?” Beomgyu scoffs from behind you. You turn to look at him, and confusion clouds Taehyun’s face.

“Surely I can’t be serious about what?” you counter, daring him to make a scene in public.

“You’ve just met the man, and you’re offering to show him your writing because he wants to show off the paintings he bought while he was in Italy? Doesn’t seem quite a fair trade-off to me.” 

“Just because you lost interest in my writings years ago, doesn’t mean no one else wants to read them, Beomgyu. Some of us want to actually make something of ourselves, and have an impact on the world. Don’t you think there must be more to life than gambling, fencing, and breaking women’s hearts?”

Hurt races across Beomgyu’s face for two seconds before he schools his face back into neutrality. Before he has the chance to reply, you’ve turned back towards Taehyun.

“Now, what were we discussing?”

The gentleman in front of you shakes his head, taken aback by the exchange he had just witnessed. “Just…just your writings. I must say, Miss Y/L/N, that was rather forward of you just now with Beomgyu. Are you always this forthcoming with your opinions?”

You raise an eyebrow, unsure of whether you’re being judged or not.

“Yes, I tend to speak my mind more often than not. Why do you ask?”

Taehyun reaches for your gloved hand, bringing it to his lips and looking up at you.

“Women with wit tend to make life more interesting, that’s all.” 

—----------------------------------------

The next morning, you awake to your mother opening the curtains in your room, sunlight streaming onto your face.

“Get up, you have to get ready!”

“For what?” you grumble, pulling the covers towards your head to block out the light. This does nothing to deter your mother, who simply pulls the covers completely off the bed, leaving you no choice but to get up.

“Morning calls, of course! You’ve already received flowers from Beomgyu today, which is very kind of him.” Your mom smiles warmly, which you can’t help but roll your eyes at.

“Y/N, don’t be so unbearable! Beomgyu has been nothing but nice to you for years, and you used to be such good friends when you were small…what happened? His mother and I always imagined the two of you would be betrothed!”

“Don’t remind me,” you groan, your mother’s smile faltering as she goes to leave. She is quick to replace it with a smug look as she turns back to you in the doorway. 

“You’ve also received a lovely bouquet from Mr. Kang, if that’s of any interest. You’ll need to be ready to receive both of them in the foyer in an hour, so make haste.” And with that, she’s gone.

—--------------------------------

An hour later, you’re nervously scuffing your foot against the floorboards awaiting the arrival of your two potential suitors…the thought alone makes you want to turn and run far, far away.

Choi Beomgyu, your childhood best friend. A long time ago, you would have jumped at the chance to marry him. He made you laugh, he was sweet, and he believed in all of your dreams, no matter how lofty they were. He was quick to see the best in situations, treated your family well, and yes…he was handsome, and had frustratingly only gotten more so as he’d grown older. 

But that was before everything changed. He’d gone away to boarding school at fourteen, the only communication between the two of you letters. The letters eventually stopped after a couple of years. You supposed you’d just grown apart, a natural side effect of growing up…but then you heard the rumors about his gambling. Womanizing. When he returned, any interactions with you seemed like he was only trying to get under your skin for the fun of it. He wasn’t the Beomgyu you had been enamored by as a young girl, and it both angered you and made you feel like there was a small hole in your heart. It was unfair-you had remained the same, and he’d become a worse version of himself.

On the other hand, there was Kang Taehyun. Though wary of the fact that he was friends with Beomgyu, you could tell from your interactions at the opera that they were not the same type of person. Taehyun shared a lot of your interests, wasn’t threatened by the fact that you had ambition or opinions, and seemed to even enjoy the fact that you were more than willing to put Beomgyu in his place when needed. He too was handsome, though in a different way than Beomgyu was. You were somewhat surprised that he had made his intentions clear this early on-was he someone that you could see yourself marrying? You had just about given up on the idea of a love match, believing that a marriage of convenience was the best you could hope for. And as far as convenience went, Taehyun didn’t seem too bad of an option…he couldn’t be any worse than Beomgyu, after all.

Your thoughts were interrupted by a loud knock at the door, and the entrance of both men in question. No sooner than the obligatory pleasantries had passed, Beomgyu was stepping forward, asking you to take a walk through the garden. 

“Actually, I would rather-” Your sentence is cut off by a quick nudge of your mother’s elbow to your ribs, as she gives you a look.

“I’d love to,” you manage to spit out without looking completely disgusted, threading your arm through his when he offers it.

As you walk into the bright sunlight, there is silence for a few moments until Beomgyu breaks it, speaking slightly too loud at first and then adjusting his tone.

“Lovely weather we’re having.”

“Yes, I suppose it is rather pleasant. Company withstanding, of course.”

“I cannot be that bad, Y/N. I’ve had many glowing reviews from other ladies who have spent afternoons in my company.” Beomgyu grins at you, and you remain stone faced. “What?”

“Why, pray tell, do you think I want to hear about all the time you have spent with other eligible women? Isn’t that the last subject you should be broaching with someone you seem hellbent on marrying whether she is interested or not?” Your voice is getting louder with each sentence, face flushing due to both your emotions and the heat of the day.

“I was only jesting, I didn’t mean-” Beomgyu starts, eyes wide with shock.

“You never do mean much, do you? It’s rather bigheaded of you to think you can just come waltzing back into my life without so much a care in the world, assuming you’ll be able to swoop in and marry me!” You’re surprised to find tears swimming in your eyes, which you quickly brush away.

Beomgyu steps forward tentatively, reaching towards your hand, but you snatch it back out of his reach. He falters, rubbing the back of his neck and not quite able to look you in the eyes.

“Once upon a time, you said you wanted to marry me…”

“Yes, Beomgyu, when we were kids and I didn’t know any better. Before I knew what I wanted.”

He looks up, brown eyes searching yours, like he might find a secret you’ve been keeping all these years. “And what’s that?”

Just then, Taehyun strides up the path, calling out to you. You wipe the last tear away from your face, and school your features into a smile before you turn away from Beomgyu.

“Taehyun! How nice to see you again.”

—--------------------------------------

Like your walk with Beomgyu, your walk with Taehyun through the garden starts in silence, the two of you admiring the bright blooms that adorn each side of the path.

Taehyun eventually clears his throat and turns to you, bright eyed but seeming slightly timid.

“Miss Y/L/N…forgive me if this is too personal a question, but are you alright? It seemed like your conversation with Mr. Choi was getting rather heated, and I never like to see a lady upset.”

You let out a small sigh and gaze into Taehyun’s eyes, trying to decide whether to be honest. His earnestness sways you-you may be marrying him after all, so what’s the harm in telling the truth?

“I am…alright. It’s just, Beomgyu and I have a lot of history, we’ve known each other since we were children. He knows all the ways to get under my skin, and chooses to use that to torment me endlessly…yet now he believes that he should have the privilege of being my betrothed, when none of his actions or words seem to line up if that’s the goal he has in mind.”

Taehyun is quiet as he ponders over what you’ve said, guiding you towards the center of the garden.

“He talks about you a lot, you know.”

You glance up, eyes wide in surprise and Taehyun chuckles.

“It’s true. When I first met Beomgyu at boarding school, he had a hard time making friends. And the friends he did make, he was always talking about you. Days when he’d receive letters from you, you couldn’t dampen his mood no matter how hard you tried. He cares for you a great deal even now, even if he’s too bullheaded to show it properly.”

Taehyun pauses now and faces toward you. “The question is, how do you feel about him?” 

It’s only then that you notice where the two of you have stopped-the dead center of the garden, in front of the willow tree where Yeonjun had caught Beomgyu kissing you on the cheek all those years ago. You had been beyond embarrassed that your older brother had caught the two of you, but Beomgyu had only beamed while flushing a deep scarlet. “Are you planning on marrying my sister, hmm?” Yeonjun had laughed. You had run away before you could be embarrassed any further.

You’re shaken back to the present by Taehyun repeating his question to you.

“When I was a foolish little girl, I entertained the notion of marrying Beomgyu when I was older. He changed when he went away to boarding school, and that is that. I am much more interested in pursuing other avenues to marriage…namely you, if you will have me, that is.” 

You have the sense to at least look away from Taehyun as you say this, knowing it was potentially crossing the line, even for you who was used to saying whatever came to mind. 

Taehyun’s laughter rings out across the garden, and when you look up, his eyes are sparkling with mirth. “Well, when you put it that way, how could I refuse? You surely do know how to keep a man on his toes. Shall I declare my intentions then?”

A light flush dusts your cheeks, pleased that he is interested in marriage and at the fact that this will free you from Beomgyu’s efforts once and for all.

“I will have my mother arrange a picnic, and we shall be the talk of the ton.”

—------------------------------------------

Your mother is only too eager to prepare an extravagant picnic once you tell her about Taehyun’s intentions to declare an engagement.

“I knew you two would be a good match! He’s so kind, and he comes from a good family. You’ll be well taken care of!” 

You can’t help but roll your eyes good-naturedly, but her excitement is contagious and you find yourself looking forward to the picnic…and dare you say it, your impending engagement. Taehyun is pleasant company, and maybe, just maybe-eventually you may grow to love him. That thought alone causes faint butterflies to erupt in your stomach.

The day of the picnic arrives, sunny and warm. You put on a brand new dress your mother had gifted you, a soft lavender, and once you step outside, you see that company has already started to arrive. 

There are multiple tents set up with food and drink, croquet is set out on the lawn, and people are milling about chatting with each other. Movement in your periphery draws your attention, and as you turn, you see Beomgyu approaching you. You give a polite curtsy as he inclines his head toward you. 

“You look…” He seems at a loss for words.

“...yes?”

“You look beautiful.” There is no trace of humor in his voice, and his eyes glow with warmth as he holds eye contact a beat more than is proper.

“She always does, doesn’t she?” Taehyun appears on your other side, offering you his arm which you gladly take. “Catch up with you later?” He offers to Beomgyu, leading you away to make the obligatory social rounds as one of the hostesses of the event.

—-------------------------------

The picnic is a rousing success-that is, until there’s a commotion over at one of the tents. You head that way, curious what is causing such a disturbance. You maneuver through the gathered crowd, only to see Beomgyu and Taehyun at the center.

“A fencing match, for old time’s sake?” 

Of course Beomgyu is trying to cause chaos in the middle of what is supposed to be your engagement announcement…because why not?

“If you’re willing to be embarrassed and lose in front of everyone, absolutely.”

Your head whips around to look at Taehyun, surprised to see him take the bait. He’s smiling coolly, confident in his abilities. Meanwhile Beomgyu has a wild glint to his eyes-you know he’s competitive, but there’s something else there you can’t quite place.

The two men march away from the tent to an open space, and Yeonjun appears with two fencing sabres seemingly out of nowhere. Taehyun and Beomgyu each remove their jackets and take up the proper stance.

“En garde!” Beomgyu shouts, and the impromptu match begins. It goes on for longer than you think, and surprisingly all the bragging Beomgyu had done about his fencing skills weren’t just for show. He’s keeping up with Taehyun, and occasionally getting a few jabs in.

Your mother gives a loud and obvious ‘tsk’, and as you turn to look at her, Beomgyu’s voice rings out across the yard, almost a growl and deeper than his normal baritone.

Your gaze flies to the source of the sound, and you can see Beomgyu clutching at his shoulder, a bright red blooming under the stark white of his shirt.

Taehyun steps forward, forehead scrunched in concern, reaching out to examine the wound, but before he can reach the man in front of him, you’ve beaten him to it.

You don’t recall how you got from the tent you’d been standing under to Beomgyu, and you don’t particularly care. Up close, you can tell that he’s lost a decent amount of blood, and as you look up your eyes lock. He’s clearly shocked that you’re standing in front of him, his breath tickling the stray hairs that have fallen across your forehead in the heat of the day.

“Miss Y/L/N…” he murmurs. “I’ll be fine, I just need to wash up.”

Without saying a word, you grab his hand not attached to his wounded shoulder, leading him up to the house while the crowd watches on, flabbergasted. As the two of you move away, whispers start flying. 

You pay them no mind, marching Beomgyu through the front door and into the bathroom. You force him to sit, rolling up his sleeve just past his elbow. Though the shirt is loose-fitting, you can’t get it to roll up any further. 

“I’m…just…trying…to see!” you exclaim, watching the sleeve get caught on Beomgyu’s bicep yet again.

“Here, let me.” He gently pushes your hand out of the way, and using his uninjured arm, balls up the fabric and pulls harshly…so harshly, there’s a loud ripping noise as his left sleeve completely detaches from his shirt. 

You’re left gaping at his exposed arm for two reasons. One, the open wound on his shoulder is bleeding more freely now that there is no barrier stopping it. Two, even beneath all the blood that’s started to cake, you can see defined muscles that were most certainly not there before Beomgyu went off to boarding school.

“Are you okay?” Beomgyu’s voice startles you back to the present, where you swiftly take a cloth, soak it with lukewarm water, and begin to gently clean on and around his wound. He grimaces as you have to use more pressure closer to the cut.

“At least it’s relatively surface level, at least from what I can see. You should be okay if you don’t use a wide range of motion, I think.” You stand back, admiring your handiwork after wrapping the wound in clean strips of cloth.

“Thank you,” he murmurs, and as you glance up, he meets your gaze with an intense stare. 

“Is there something wrong? Is it too tight? I can rewrap it-”

“What do you see in him?”

You’re left agog at Beomgyu’s sudden question. “W-what?”

“What do you see in him?” He repeats, softer and almost shyly.

“Who?” You quirk an eyebrow, wondering if he’s really inquiring into your love life after his arm has been sliced open.

“Taehyun.”

He is.

“He’s kind, and from a good family. He’s intelligent, and doesn’t think that I’m silly for wanting to write stories for a living. Taehyun likes that I have opinions, it’s…refreshing.”

Beomgyu’s eyes narrow slightly as it seems he is considering your words. Silence fills the small space, and as it continues, it feels like you’re starting to suffocate. 

Just when you think you can’t take it any longer, his response shatters the tension, but replaces it with something else.

“I’ve always loved your stories. And hearing your opinions.” Your eyes go wide. “Our families have been friends for years. I’m smart enough.” As he continues, Beomgyu stands and moves closer to you. “I’m not always the kindest person, but I would never mistreat you.”

You’re inches apart now, but you won’t stand for Beomgyu and whatever he’s trying to pull to ruin your potential engagement to Taehyun. Not even if your heart feels like it’s beating so hard it might fall out of your chest. You glare up at the man in front of you.

“Beomgyu, are you jealous?”

He raises his hand to your shoulder, tracing along the lavender lace that sits on the seam of your dress. Just as you move to swat his hand away, he speaks and you’re left stunned.

“Does Taehyun know that I left a permanent mark on you?” He slides the fabric an inch or two, leaving your collarbone exposed. Beomgyu then moves his fingers to gently ghost over an almost invisible scar that starts at your shoulder, his touch causing both the sensation of butterflies and a deep longing to fling yourself at him as he stops just as the scar dips towards your decolletage. 

Heat burns its way through your body, landing on your cheeks. Beomgyu had given you that scar when you were children, a fencing match with sticks gone awry.

“He doesn’t,” you breathe, unable to form any other words as his hand lifts your chin, forcing you to make eye contact.

“If you’ll have me, he never will.” Beomgyu’s baritone wraps around you and it's as if you can feel his words seeping into your very bones.

Just then, the door flies open and there stands Taehyun.

“I just wanted to check on…oh.” His wide eyes take in the scene before him. Your dress pushed off your shoulder, Beomgyu’s hand under your chin, and your proximity to each other.

“Taehyun, it’s not what it looks like, I can explain!” You hastily push Beomgyu’s hand away, slipping your dress back fully onto your shoulder and moving towards the man in the doorframe.

“I’ll just see myself out.” He simply backs away through the door, closing it behind him like he was never there. Strangely, he didn’t seem angry. There was an odd look in his eyes that you couldn’t quite place, though.

“Beomgyu, I’m sorry, I have to go, I have to talk to him, I’m sorry!” You fling the door open yourself, following quickly after the man you were supposed to marry. 

Beomgyu is left behind, ripped shirt, pink cheeks, and looking for all the world like his heart’s been shattered into a million pieces.

—--------------------------------------------------------------------

“Taehyun…Taehyun!” You’re out of breath, losing steam as you pick up your skirts to run after the man who had just left.

How had he managed to get so far in such a short amount of time?

You exit the house, round the corner to the gardens, and run headlong into something hard and solid, almost losing your balance.

Before you can fall to the ground, a pair of strong arms steadies you and you look up into the startled eyes of Taehyun himself.

“Miss…are you alright?” His wide eyes scan you for any sign of injury.

“I’m fine, thank you. I just needed to explain, what you saw back there isn’t what you think it is, I-”

Taehyun holds out an arm to you calmly. “Let’s take a walk, shall we?”

Bewildered, you take his arm, not sure what’s happening. He guides you into the garden, just as he had the day after you met. After a few moments of silence, you attempt to speak again.

“Taehyun, it’s not what you think.”

“And what exactly do you think that I think it is?” He raises an eyebrow at you, a hint of a smirk playing across his face.

“It’s just, well…I’m sure you must think that I am sneaking around behind your back with Choi Beomgyu. I’m not, I swear on it! I was just trying to help with his injury, and then he was just too close and, and…we are not together, I would never risk my honor in that way! I am still very much interested in you as a potential match.” Your arms are flailing around as you explain, cheeks burning in humiliation.

Taehyun gently reaches for your arms, bringing them down to your sides. He looks down at you, warmth and kindness emanating from his gaze.

“I do not think you are two-timing me, Miss Y/N. And though I am interested in you as a potential match as well, I am afraid I no longer think it would be best for me to follow through on my proposal to you.”

Your eyes widen in horror as the two of you come to a stop, again in front of the willow tree from your youth.

“Taehyun, I’m sorry! I-I,” you stammer, tears welling up in your eyes. You can’t believe this is happening-in one moment, any hopes for your future have been swept away. All because you let your guard down in front of your childhood best friend.

“Let me explain,” Taehyun murmurs, swiping away an errant tear that has fought its way down your cheek. “It has been beyond apparent to me that my old schoolmate is still deeply enamored with you, and has been since we were young. Time has done little to nothing to change that. Upon meeting you, I came to realize what he saw in you-you’re brilliant, driven, and won’t take no for an answer. Of course, you are also stunningly beautiful. I felt so incredibly lucky that you were interested in me rather than Beomgyu. However, as time has progressed, I got an inkling that there may have been some unresolved feelings on your end as well. You said there were not, and I believed you.”

“But I don’t-” you start to protest, Taehyun moving his finger in front of your lips.

“What I just saw proves my original inclination to be right…you do have feelings for Choi Beomgyu, whether you realize it or not. You may be deep in denial to yourself, Miss Y/N, but I know that the way you were looking at him was not the way you look at someone you detest. As much as it pains me to do so, I fear I must back out of this competition…I refuse to be the reason that the two of you cannot be together.”

By this point, tears are fully streaming down your face. You want to refute what Taehyun is saying, tell him he’s wrong…the problem is, you’re not sure he is.

“This is where I must take my leave. I wish you and Beomgyu all the best, and I hope that you are able to at the very least reconcile your differences, if nothing more.”

Taehyun gives a short bow, striding stiffly toward the front gate. As he moves out of sight, there’s a rustling movement behind you. You tense up, afraid that you’ve made too much noise, drawing guests from the picnic towards the gardens. You let out a sigh of relief as you realize it’s just Eliza, Yeonjun’s fiance. 

“Y/N, you look awful! Are you okay?” 

As she draws closer, tears start rolling down your cheeks again.

“What? What is it? What happened?” She’s swimming in front of you, your vision blurred as she envelops you in a hug.

“B-Beomgyu did.” His name alone makes you break down into full on sobs, muffled into Eliza’s shoulder.

—----------------------------------------------------

As you wipe your tears away, Eliza leads you over to a bench to sit down.

“Now, tell me what happened.” 

You steady yourself with a deep breath before launching into what feels like your entire life story. All the way back to childhood, long summer days spent running around the grounds with Beomgyu-fencing with sticks, climbing trees, and spying on your older brother, which makes Eliza giggle.

Boarding school, and writing letters back and forth to each other until suddenly you weren’t. Rumors of womanizing and gambling. How you had retreated into yourself, feeling utterly betrayed by your best friend. You’d begun to seriously focus on writing when all the while your mother had wanted you to focus on finding a proper marriage match.

Which leads you all the way up until now, Beomgyu being back. Assuming he could be one of your suitors. Taehyun. What had transpired in the bathroom, and your conversation with Taehyun.

“In conclusion, I have no marriage options, mother is going to be angry at me until the day I die, and Beomgyu is still beyond frustrating to me,” you huff, blowing loose hairs out of your eyes.

“I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but your mother has arranged a ball for this upcoming weekend in celebration of you and Taehyun’s impending proposal. Once Beomgyu got injured today, she figured it would be best to reschedule an event for that purpose.” 

You groan.

“Regardless, she’ll find out one way or another that the proposal isn’t going to happen. My question for you is-this business about Beomgyu’s injury and your conversation with Taehyun…is it true?”

You begin to pick at your fingernails as you think about Eliza’s question, eventually looking at her. “Does Beomgyu have feelings for me? I think he may have when we were younger, but as of right now, I have no-”

“That’s not what I’m asking, it’s plain as day that man has feelings for you, and I’ve barely interacted with him. What I’m asking is, how do you feel about him?” Eliza raises an eyebrow expectantly as your mouth drops open in surprise. “Close your mouth, you’ll attract flies.”

You let out a strangled laugh, and instead of answering her question, you reply with another.

“How did you know you loved Yeonjun?”

Eliza takes the question in stride, pondering for a few moments before she answers.

“I knew I loved your brother when the idea of being in a relationship with any other man held no interest for me. Yeonjun made it very clear from the beginning that he was only interested in me…he was always sending flowers and small trinkets, asking to accompany me on outings, writing letters that were surprisingly heartfelt for how I know him to be now.” You giggle, imagining your older brother being sentimental. “It took me longer to sort out my feelings, his attention was honestly overwhelming at times. But when I laid in bed at night, I would always think about when I would see him again before I fell asleep. That’s when I knew I loved Yeonjun…and I cannot be more pleased to be marrying him.” Her cheeks turn pink as she finishes.

“Does he ever make you mad?” you counter. 

“Of course! Every man can be frustrating, and every person for that matter. No one can agree with everyone all the time. But even when he angers me, I always want to make things right. I couldn’t stand it if we were at odds for too long.”

Eliza tilts her head curiously at you. “Why are you asking me all this?”

You think back to everything you’ve told her. Childhood crushes, teenage heartbreak. All the time spent, secrets shared. The injury running across your collarbone. Letters, so many letters…all of which had been shoved under your floorboard for safekeeping. Though you hadn’t looked at them in ages, you couldn’t quite bring yourself to throw them out either. Taehyun’s words echo through your mind…

“I know that the way you were looking at him was not the way you look at someone you detest.”

You look at Eliza, a rueful smile on your face.

“My feelings for Beomgyu are…complicated. I wish it was like the way you are with my brother, but he infuriates me to no end sometimes. If he cares for me, he needs to tell me so, otherwise we will be stuck in this endless loop of confusion and heartache for all eternity.”

And with that, you march back towards the house, leaving Eliza bewildered in your wake.

—------------------------------------------------------------

Eliza’s words prove true-your mother has busied herself with preparations for a ball, to be thrown in your honor. Every time you see her making plans, putting decorations up, anything, you know you should talk to her and tell her that you no longer have any marriage prospects, that you’ve made a mess of everything.

You come close one day, as she sweeps past you, gobs of flowy fabric in her hands. You call out to her, but as she turns to face you, she seems so happy that you swallow your words before they can even leave your mouth.

And that leads you to now…the night of the ball. Your stomach is roiling, and you almost feel lightheaded as you make your way towards the throng of people milling about. They’re here for you, for Taehyun. Your eyes dart around for the man in question, finding him chatting across the room with Yeonjun. You see your brother nod in your direction, and Taehyun turns, making eye contact with you. You both freeze for a moment. He then gives you a curt nod, and goes back to his conversation. Yeonjun raises an eyebrow to you in question, but you give a slight shake of your head in return.

“Penny for your thoughts?” A deep baritone whispers in your ear, making the hairs on the back of your neck stand up.

You turn, and it feels as if your breathing has been even more constricted than it already was by your undergarments. You’re met with Beomgyu’s brown eyes staring into your own, and as you skitter backwards in shock, his arms come up to hold you steady. 

“Are you alright? I apologize if I startled you.”

Your breath still seems to be caught in your throat, but you manage to nod meekly in response.

“Here, let me get you a drink.”

Beomgyu walks a few paces with you, grabbing a glass off a passing tray and handing it gently to you. You take a sip, the crisp bubbles seeming to open your throat again.

“How’s your arm?” you ask, eyes wide with concern. He shouldn’t be here at a ball when he’s injured, you think to yourself.

“Almost good as new, thanks to you…I had a doctor examine it as well, just in case, and he said he couldn’t have done a better job patching it up himself.” Beomgyu grins at you, twisting his arm at odd angles just to show you he can.

You smile in return, but he notices that it doesn’t quite meet your eyes.

“Is there something bothering you, darling?” 

Your heart skips a beat at his term of endearment, and your stomach goes queasy at the idea of telling him about everything that’s happened with Taehyun. You start wringing your hands together, unable to fully look Beomgyu in the eye. 

He reaches forward, untangling your hands with his own, running his thumbs gently over the backs of your hands which have started to turn red with irritation.

“You can tell me anything, always.” You don’t think you’ve ever seen him look this earnest in all the years you’ve known him, no trace of humor in his eyes.

Just as you start to reply, you hear a loud cough behind you. Beomgyu immediately releases your hands from his grasp, but it’s too late.

Your mother saw everything.

“Y/N, what is this? Shouldn’t you be dancing with Taehyun?” She looks between the two of you, clearly disappointed.

The brightness in Beomgyu’s eyes dulls a little as she speaks, and it’s almost as if you can see him withdrawing into himself.

“Mother, I’ve been trying to find a way to tell you this for days now…there will be no proposal.”

At this, her eyes go wide and Beomgyu’s eyebrows raise almost to his hairline.

“Why in the world not? What have you done to ruin things this time?” Your mother’s mouth is a thin line, anger written all over her face.

“I’m sure she can explain-” Beomgyu starts, trying to defend you.

“You are not a part of this conversation, Mr. Choi, so I suggest you see yourself out.” Though he’s taller, he shrinks under your mother’s vicious gaze.

“No need, I’m going to see myself out.” You glare at your mother, storming out of the ball so you can be anywhere but here. 

How dare she assume that it was your fault that things were called off? I mean, it sort of was, what with Taehyun arguing that not only did Beomgyu have feelings for you, but that it seemed you had feelings as well.

Your racing thoughts have brought you to the library which sits just off the main foyer. You pace the aisles, dust catching in the dim candlelight around the room. Eventually you slide down a bookcase to sit on the floor, head hung in your hands.

As you sit, breathing as deeply as you can manage in a corset, you hear the door creak open. You sit up straighter, bracing yourself to tell off some couple that’s snuck away from the party.

“Y/N, are you in here?” You’re surprised to see Beomgyu peeking around the corner of a bookshelf, breathing a sigh of relief once he sees you.

“...hi,” you manage weakly. He comes closer, choosing to slide down the bookcase to sit beside you.

“Hey.”

The two of you sit in silence for a few minutes, though it feels comfortable, not stifling.

“So…Taehyun was going to propose?” Beomgyu murmurs softly, though it feels as if the question takes up the whole room.

You look over at him and nod.

“What changed?” You can’t help but notice the twinge of sadness that seems to make his voice shake.

“Taehyun said that he couldn’t propose anymore. He didn’t want to ruin things.” You’ve begun wringing your hands again, and Beomgyu reaches to stop it by resting his hand on top of yours.

“Ruin what?”

You raise your gaze to meet his warm brown one. “He said you loved me…that you never stopped loving me.” Your voice is wobbly, and your stomach feels like it may drop completely out of your body.

Beomgyu lets out a short burst of laughter, which has you glaring at him in return.

“Why are you laughing?!” you huff.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry…I just thought I had made it abundantly clear how I felt about you, that’s all.”

You stare at him, his expression unreadable.

“How…how do you feel about me?”

His hand wraps around your own, bringing it to his lips. Where his lips brush your skin feels like fire has erupted both upon the point of contact and within your heart.

“Taehyun’s right, I do love you. Always have, no matter how hard I tried not to.” He chuckles at your astonished face. “Surely you can’t be that surprised, dearest.” The candlelight is now reflecting in his eyes as he looks over at you, the sweetness in his gaze matching their chocolate color.

How have you been so blind all this time?

A sudden clattering noise steals your attention away from Beomgyu, and you look over to see the sheepish face of your brother placing books back onto a shelf that he’d knocked over.

As he tucks the final one away, he looks up and his embarrassment morphs into astonishment.

“What are you two…what the…did I-?” Yeonjun splutters, not even able to finish a complete thought.

“We were just talking, that’s all.” Beomgyu speaks up for the two of you.

Yeonjun’s eyes scan over the both of you, lingering on the fact that Beomgyu’s hand covers your own. Beomgyu makes no effort to retract his hand, his chin jutting out in defiance, as if he’s daring your brother to say anything else.

Yeonjun doesn’t take the bait, simply rolling his eyes and offering his hand out to you so you can stand. As you adjust your skirts, you look up to find him staring at you curiously.

“You’re expected out there, you know…mother will come looking for you if you don’t show up soon.” You move to follow him out the door, and almost crash into Yeonjun as he turns to face Beomgyu again. “And you-you wait a few minutes before leaving. Don’t want people getting the wrong idea.” With that he looks back at you, eyebrow raised, before striding out the door.

—--------------------------------------------------------------

You hurry down the hall after your brother, slightly out of breath by the time you catch up to him. The two of you walk in silence for a moment before he turns to look at you.

“Are you going to tell me what just happened, or do I have to put the pieces together myself?”

You round on your brother, incensed.

“Why do you need to know? Just so you can tell me to stay away from him like you have our entire lives?”

His steely gaze softens as he takes in your ire. “I just want to know, I’m your brother and I want to make sure you’re taken care of.” You narrow your eyes. “Those things I said about Beomgyu before…weren’t exactly…true.” Yeonjun looks ashamed and can’t quite meet your gaze.

“And what does that mean?”

“What I said about him being a womanizer isn’t true.”

“But why would you make up such a thing?”

“I saw how heartbroken you were once Beomgyu stopped writing you,” he starts.

“I was not-” you interrupt, but he continues talking.

“I know you keep his old letters under your floorboard to this day, sister, as much as you’ve tried to hide it. I saw how heartbroken you were, and I wanted to help. So I made those things up so you wouldn’t care for him any longer. I wanted you to have a proper chance at love, at happiness. It seems you’ve taken that into your own hands,” he smiles ruefully.

“...he said he loved me,” you breathe incredulously.

“Did you also believe he didn’t love you when he kissed you at thirteen?”

You shove Yeonjun’s arm in protest, and he just laughs.

“Eliza was right, you are blind.”

You’re approaching the crowd again, and you start to retort, but your brother starts drifting away from you.

“What’s that? I think I hear my fiancee calling me..”

You huff in indignation, doing your best to melt back into the crowd. 

—---------------------------------------------------

Your mother pretends as if nothing has happened once you make your reappearance. Yeonjun, on the other hand, keeps catching your eye across the room, motioning towards you and trying his best to wink, though it looks like rapid blinking. You can’t help but giggle at how silly he looks.

As promised, Beomgyu had waited several minutes before rejoining the festivities, but just as he moves to join you, you are surprised by Taehyun appearing at your side.

“Would you care to dance?”

“I don’t have much of a choice, do I?” you offer, which makes him smile as you take his outstretched hand.

You settle into a comfortable waltz, making small talk while turning about the ballroom. As the second half of the dance begins, you notice Beomgyu standing in the corner of the room, an unreadable expression on his face as he follows you and Taehyun with his eyes.

As Taehyun turns you through the dance, he notices him as well, sending a small smirk your way.

“He can’t keep his eyes off you, can he?” Your gaze jerks back to the man in front of you at his statement. “Should I expect a wedding invitation anytime soon?”

The air leaves your lungs at his question.

“What?” you choke out, “No, that’s not, we’re not-”

Taehyun’s brow scrunches in confusion. “Did he not tell you he loved you?”

“He did, but-”

“And did you not tell him you loved him in return?” he interrupts.

“It all happened so quickly, and I still thought he was a rake, but Yeonjun explained, and I-”

“Y/N, stop. As I said before, Beomgyu has loved you his whole life, he’s never looked at another woman the way he looks at you. Sure, he talks about fencing a little too much, but if that’s the most bothersome thing about him, surely you can find it in your heart to forgive.”

He’s smiling as he states his case, but you can’t find it in you to smile back. Yeonjun had lied to you about Beomgyu being a womanizer, and here Taehyun was corroborating his story. Your childhood best friend had been in love with you his whole life, and you are just now realizing that you might be able to actually be together. 

The music is dying down, and everything clicks into place…you need to find Beomgyu. Your eyes scan the room, but the one person you’re looking for is missing. 

“Taehyun, I have to go, I have to find him!” you exclaim, hurrying away as you hear a faint farewell behind you.

You move as quickly as possible through the crowd, still unable to find the man you’re looking for. Suddenly, you have an idea.

—----------------------------------------------------------

The night air is slightly chilly, a welcome reprieve from dancing as you make your way through the garden, the path illuminated by lantern light.

It’s as if your feet have a mind of their own, carrying you around a corner where you see broad shoulders in the shadow of the large willow tree.

He turns at the sound of your footsteps, a small smile that doesn’t quite meet his eyes forming.

“I’ve been looking for you,” you say weakly.

“I thought you were busy dancing with Taehyun.”

“I was, and that’s why I need to talk to you,” you state matter-of-factly.

“Why, so you can tell me it was all a big mistake and you do want to marry him after all?”

As you draw closer to him, you can see his shoulders droop as his smile starts to disappear.

“Beomgyu-” 

You reach towards him and he turns away before your hand meets his cheek.

“Tell me you don’t love me.” His voice is dull and lifeless. “Tell me you want to marry him.”

“As usual, you have no idea what I want.” 

His face turns back to yours, confused. 

“Just say what you want, then!” 

His voice carries through the garden, and you can’t help but smile in response.

Beomgyu’s brow raises in confusion.

“I need to know once and for all, what are your feelings towards me? I want nothing more than to stay by your side always, but if you want me to leave, I will never bother you again.” You can hear the desperation in his voice as he draws closer, seemingly without realizing.

“That’s the thing…I think I want you to bother me for the rest of my life.”

You watch as the realization of what you said dawns on him, his eyes lighting up and a true smile breaking across his face. He starts to respond, but before he can say anything your lips are meeting his. His initial shock fades quickly, and he brings one hand to your waist and the other gently cradles the back of your neck.

You’re not sure how long the kiss lasts, but you feel as if you could stay forever in his embrace, in this moment. It just feels…right.

As the two of you separate, Beomgyu leans his forehead against yours, a wide smile on his face. You look into his eyes and laugh.

“You know, I do love you, but you are going to have to do something about how much you brag about fencing.”

His response is to dive in for another kiss, until you hear someone clearing their throat. You spring apart, only to see Yeonjun holding back laughter on the far side of the clearing.

“Can we at least expect a proposal this time around?”

You glare at your brother, but Beomgyu only laughs, drawing you close.

“If she’ll have me.”

—--------------------------------------------------------------------

Taglist: @hyungieyoongi, @alpacaparkaseok, @derinxfam

Check out my other work here!

NOW THIS YEONJUN-

phew. my heart. my soul. and my booty hole. I LOVE THIS MAN.

now imagine this yeonjun.

everyone thinks he’s a bad boy based on his looks, but just wait until you get to know him frfr.

he’s so adorable, loving and so caring for his friends that he’ll destroy anyone who looks at them sideways.

now just look at that face :((

such a happy boy, ahh he’s so sweet in this fic (not that he’s not irl but FORK)

the one that got away.

03:13 AM.

ha, 3:13. “beomgyu o’clock” as you used to call it.

“look, beom. it’s your time.” you’d say as you point to the alarm clock on his nightstand. 

the same nightstand & the same alarm clock that his tired eyes were glued to.

it had been three days since he had gotten some sleep. three days since he had something to look forward to waking up to in the morning.

three days since you left him.

so he lay there, staring at that damn alarm clock, wishing the time would just stop. wishing that time would go backwards.

wishing that he could be with you again.

“you don’t have to miss me,” you would say before you left for work every morning. “i’ll be back before you know it.”

but this time when you left, you didn’t come back.

he lets out a breath and moves the comforter off of his weak, tired body and gets out of bed, stepping into his slippers that sit below the mattress.

the slippers that you got him.

“they look like little bear paws,” you told him as you hold the slippers with bright eyes. “they suit you so well!”

he sighs, wondering what went wrong.

what made you feel that way?

was it something he did? something he said?

he wished you had left a note.

he wished you had talked to him.

but most of all, he wished you had just stayed.

a shaky, weak hand turns the knob and pulls open the door to the bathroom.

a groggy, weak body pulls itself to enter said bathroom.

he hadn’t eaten in days and he hadn’t wandered any part of the house that wasn’t the bedroom or the bathroom.

he didn’t want to go anywhere else where he could be reminded of you.

but all he knew was you.

all he wanted to know was you.

and all he wanted was for you to by his side once again.

staring into the mirror that hang above the sink, he studies his state. unbrushed hair, eye bags the size of small coins, dried up salty tears on both cheeks from all the hours he had spent crying.

he’d still be crying if he hadn’t ran out of tears.

“don’t cry, beomgyu,” you would tell him if you were there. you hated seeing him cry. “it’ll all be okay.”

but it wouldn’t be okay.

it would never be okay.

until he could be with you again.

and he knew that he would be soon.

xx

no escape from you | beomgyu fic (part 1)

pairings: enemies to ??, roommate! beomgyu x reader

warnings: suggestive content

a/n: this has been sitting in my drafts for days but i finally wrote it the way i want. might make this a series with smut in the next chapter so keep a lookout 👀 (not proof read)

You were the responsible one between you and your roommate. You always kept things clean, even picking up after his dirty dishes. But being his partner for a paired project was not what you signed up for. Gambling your grade and trying to work with him? Not a chance. 

When are you free? We really need to start our presentation! 

Your frantic spamming of texts went straight to delivered and were probably not going to be read for another 24 hours at least. You would think that being assigned to do a presentation with someone who was quite literally your roommate would be a breeze, but with Beomgyu never being around, the task seemed impossible. You hated the guts of this guy but you were willing to work through it for the sake of your grade. Well that’s only if he comes backs to your shared dorm before the end of the fucking day. Your sleep schedule awaits no one. 

Sat at the kitchen table, you spend the next 3 hours researching for parts of your presentation knowing that it’s probably be easier to start it off without Beomgyu. Scrolling through websites and watching videos on the topic, you write down the notes in your notebook but eventually, without meaning to, your eyes slam shut, falling alseep in your folded arms which rest on the table. 

A lock clicks as the door screeches open. At the early hours of the morning, you are awakened by your drunk roommate. You jolt your eyes open upon hearing the noise of his shoes, his footsteps uneven, indicating his intoxicated state. Anger bubbles in you as you turn sharply to face Beomgyu, giving him an intense glare which he meets with his half open eyes, appearing to be laughing at you. 

“Aww, did you wait up for me, sweetheart,” he taunts, knowing how much you hate the stupid nicknames he gives you on purpose. 

“No. In fact, I fell alseep trying to finish our fucking presentation which is due in fucking 2 days! Do you know how many times I called and texted?” Your tone came out harsh and direct which in some ways was exactly what you were going for but more so, you just wanted to get your point across. 

“I’m sorry sweetheart. I was out.” 

“I can see that. And stop calling me “sweetheart”. It sounds so fucking stupid. I have a name and that’s what I’d like to be called.”   

He inches closer to you, stumbling a little, grabbing onto your arms for support. His grip is gentle but firm, cautious to hold tight but not to hurt you.  

“Listen sweetheart, if you’re gonna yell at me at least do it when you’re not dressed like this. I can’t help but get a little turned on.” 

“Fuck you!” You turn a shade of crimson as you feel a sense of angry embarrassment. Your slip dress was short and the low cut did nothing but show off your cleavage to Beomgyu who towered over you, getting a clear view of your chest. 

“Well if that’s what you want, sweetheart. I’m down. But maybe tomorrow or something. I’m tired right now.” He smirks, saying goodbye with a two finger salute. 

With that, he makes his way to his own room, leaving you filled with a cloud of confusion and unease. He may have been joking but his words made your stomach flutter, carrying and intense heat throughout your body. 

I really need to go to bed. 

————————————————————————

Getting approximately 4 hours of sleep last night had you waking up on the wrong side of bed. You were cranky beyond help and your mood only depleted when you saw Beomgyu sitting at the kitchen table, munching away at his cereal. 

“Good morning sleepyhead, get a good night of rest?,” his remark was sarcastic, almost shaming you for your evidently tired appearance. 

“Beomgyu please. It’s too early in the morning to be arguing with you.” 

“As you wish.” 

You joined him at the table, grabbing yourself some fruit and toast and you both continued to eat in silence. The air was stiff as you could feel Beomgyu constantly looking up from his bowl to stare into your face whilst you desperately attempted to avoid looking in the same direction to prevent any accidental eye contact. 

Why was he being so intense today?

As you finish your last bite, a wave of relief washes over you as you quickly get up and head over to the sink, washing up your plate before you feel a presence behind you. Beomgyu’s chest came in direct contact with your back sending a flush of pink straight to your cheeks. You tried to move away but his arms caged you. You could hear his breath against your ear, leaving a tingling sensation on your sensitive skin. 

“You know my offer from last night still stands. If you’re up for it,” his whispers send you into a frenzy and you turn around faster than the speed of light almost challenging him as you look up to his face. 

“Listen to me Choi Beomgyu. You have no right to speak to me like that. Nothing of the sort will ever happen. Do. You. Understand?” Your voice was firm and confident, concealing any embarrassment you felt earlier. 

“Shit. That was kinda hot, sweetheart.” He places his hands over yours which had somehow made his way up his chest, grabbing ahold of his white t-shirt. “Now, we have a class to get to. Wouldn’t want to be late now would we?” 

The realisation struck harder than lightning as you jolt you eyes over to the clock, knowing you had a little over 7 minutes to make it to your class. If you ran. 

You push Beomgyu away and grab your bag and slip on your shoes by the door and dash out the door, without care for your roommate who was also in the same class. 

“Hey, wait for me!” His voice yells from behind you, almost catching up. 

“Beomgyu, I really don’t have the time for this right now. I’m gonna be late.” 

“I know a shortcut. Follow me.” He grabs ahold of your hand, dragging you in the opposite direction from the one you’re used to. What started off as speed walking had evolved into a sprint as you’re left huffing and puffing trying to match the strides of his long legs. 

Within minutes you arrive at the door of your lecture theatre, astounded that you made it on time. As you both walked in, still clutching hands, you quickly noticed the limited seats available. Almost every row was full apart from 2 seats on the furthest end of the 7th row on the left. 

“There,” Beomgyu points, upon identifying the seats, ”Guess we’re sitting together today.” He sounded rather pleased, the corners of his mouth lifting to display his smug expression. 

“Brilliant. Sooo excited,” you sneered, ensuring that the sarcasm in your tone was conveyed as you squeezed past the entire row, making your way to the end, as Beomgyu takes a seat to your right. 

“You better be, sweetheart.”