Chosen Family - Tumblr Posts

For the new year❤

this is based off a post by @absentlyabbie​  It got me through last years holidays, and i hope it helps you too.

Hold on.

this is based off a post by @absentlyabbie​  It got me through last years holidays, and i hope it helps you too.

Hold on.

one piece is genuinely the only series that i can think of that puts its money where its mouth is in regards to its message of "family doesn't end in blood, and chosen families are no less important or valid than biological families"

Of the ten main cast members, six of them come from adopted families, in addition to many more characters in the supporting cast

What is widely regarded as one of the best arcs in the entire series (marineford) revolves around a character trying desperately to save his adopted brother from execution. The entire world knows that they're not blood related, but even the marines (their sworn enemies, the people trying to kill them) still refer to them as brothers

One of the four strongest pirate captains in the world refers to his crewmembers as his children, and they all call him their father

One of the main characters looks his biological father in the eye, and tells him that the only reason he's still alive is that he didn't want his (adopted) father to be disappointed in him for letting his bio family die

Family, both chosen and biologically related, is one of the core themes of this series, and the way it's portrayed is so diverse and lovely and healing

There is a good reason why I choose to spend holidays with certain friends and people. They’re the chosen family.

The found family trope is for those who were never a first choice. Those that always carried the baggage but received no tips in exchange. It’s for those that needed a wall to lean on but learned to build one on their own . They looked at people as potential. As someone who could very well become an important part of their life. This is the trope for those who listened but were never heard, those that seeked an idea of a home in souls and not walls. It is for the ones that yearn for a love the weight of blood, but came with no obligation- no -they wanted to be chosen , they wanted a familial bond that escaped the scopes of biology . They wish for their presence to have meaning. For it to be significant. And for their absence to be nagging. Brutal. Loud.

I may not be out to all of my biological family, but my chosen family have known everything about my queer identity as soon as I did and have consistently helped me and loved me. Bio family may suck. Chosen family is out there for everyone and I hope you can find them. They may just save you like mine have unknowingly saved me!

In which my uncle is the best de facto parent of a queer kid ever

It’s Pride, and also the first anniversary of my uncle’s death, so I want to type up a story about him. (NB: my aunt, his wife, is equally cool, but she’d want this story to be about him too.) So here goes.

I skipped town when I was 16. Nothing interesting about that part; just standard queer kid in a conservative place in the 1990s stuff. I’d just gotten my driver’s license (this took a while; I’m good at other things), it was the beginning of summer break, and my parents had recently bought a new car and were planning to fix up their old one to sell. In the meantime, the old car (whom I’d named Harold Godwinson because one of his headlights kept exploding) was sitting all by himself in a corner of the driveway, and I thought he might be down for a little adventure. So, one night, I threw some stuff in my backpack (documents, journals, a few changes of clothes, my $235 in babysitting cash) and snuck out after everyone else in the house had gone to sleep.

Harold Godwinson and I hit the highway. The thing about him was that he started shaking violently at speeds over 57 mph, but in fairness so did I – I’d driven on the interstate in driver’s ed, but, like, twice, and for 5 minutes at a time instead of several consecutive hours – so we made a good pair. We were lucky enough (seriously: I cannot stress enough how lucky we were in this) to have a destination in mind, and we reached it just as the sun was coming up.

My uncle was in the kitchen making breakfast for my aunt, who’s not a morning person, and he did not look surprised at all to see me coming up the path with my luggage. He met me at the door and said, “Well, hey there babygirl, we were just thinking you might want to come and stay with us for a while, and I’m so glad you read our minds.” I ate my aunt’s breakfast and then faceplanted in the attic bedroom while he called my parents to tell them where I was and that I’d be staying. (I could hear the yelling even through the adrenaline crash; I think that’s the only time I ever heard my uncle yell and, believe me, I did a LOT of dumb shit in front of him over the years.)

The next week my uncle and I went out to run an errand. I’d thought we were just going to the hardware store – we were forever putting up shelves together – but instead we drove 45 minutes to the state’s only “alternative” (plausible-deniability term for “gay and lesbian”) bookstore. He walked me inside, poked his head into every room while I watched, confused, from the entrance hall, and then came back over. “Okay, babygirl. Here’s a twenty, you should, uhhhhhh, buy yourself some, uhhhhhh, alternative books. Back in one hour, I gotta go to the grocery.” At this point he looked around and realized that the cashier (who, I was about to learn, was permanently cosplaying Mo from Dykes to Watch Out For) and a nice middle-aged lesbian couple were trying very hard not to stare at him. He bowed slightly toward them, said “Ladies,” and then backed out the door in what might have been the most awkward little shuffle ever.

“Your dad is really sweet,” said the cashier. I didn’t bother correcting her.

FOUND family??? you think i just found them like this??? babes this is FORGED family. Me & the bros were scrap metal in a junkyard (very valuable, very sharp, very dangerous, uncared for) and we GOT IN THE FUCKING FIRE TOGETHER. WE did this. we said I AM NOT LEAVING YOU and melted into each other for better or for worse (it’s for better) and we are A FUNCTIONAL UNIT now. DO NOT SEPARATE. BATTERIES FUCKING INCLUDED. FOUND family my ass, we built this non-nuclear family unit from the ground up, don’t devalue this!!! it was is and will be a labour of love!!!