Chris Evans Imagines - Tumblr Posts

Happy Birthday Chris

Chris x Reader

Rating: T 

As your heels clicked against the hardwood floor, you scurried from room to room, catering to the familiar faces that stood at every corner. Drinks were constantly refilled, food was triple checked, and the games in the corner of the room needed to be picked up at least every ten minutes to avoid any barefooted child stepping on a Lego or game piece. With a quick turn to enter the living room, you sighed, about to restart the process that you’ve grown accustomed to for the past hour. With one foot into the room, a strong arm pulled you away from the ‘mess’ that you had previously deemed as important. With a shriek, you twisted to face the man who kept you prisoner.

“Scott!” He laughed, finally letting you go as you slowly gave up trying to escape. A red solo cup in his hands, he smiled, leaning against the wall to avoid the numerous children running around and acting as their uncle’s signature team of heroes; The Avengers.

“You need to calm down. It’s just us (y/n). We’re used to a little mess around the house.”

“You noticed the mess?”

“(y/n)…” You groaned, narrowly escaping the play shield that was thrown across the room before looking at the floor. With a scuffle of your heels, you quickly toed them off, kicking them under the table as you weaved your hands through your hair.

“I’m sorry, okay? I guess I’m still trying to make a good impression.” With a loud laugh, he tipped his head back, reminding you so much of your husband as he lay a comforting hand on your shoulder.

“Don’t worry. Everyone loves you. Since day one, you’ve made a great impression and to be honest, it kind of scares me. I think Ma loves you more than me.” You laughed, a small blush on your cheeks as your teeth dug into your lip.

Although this was only one of the worries that had been recently plaguing your thoughts, you appreciated the effort your brother-in-law made in order to make you feel better. Besides, you couldn’t tell him that behind your nervous nature regarding the party came the underlying internal fight over the topic of kids. The question of whether or not you were ready to provide Chris with the little ones he’s been begging for since the two of you were married came to mind once more and you paused, letting the guilt consume your thoughts. It took a moment but you snapped out of it and with a weak smile, you nodded, twisting your hands as you started looking around the room for his brother.

“I’ll try to calm down. Thanks Scotty. Anyways, have you seen Chris?”

“Birthday boy is in the kitchen.”

You nodded, not bothering to put your shoes back on as you walked slowly past Lisa and Shanna to find your husband. As you entered the room, you froze, watching as Chris crouched to the floor. His back facing you, he addressed his nephew yet their conversation could barely be heard due to the noise that emitted from the nearby rooms.

With a softened expression, you watched as Miles proudly presented him with a stack of papers, scribbled with brightly colored crayons. With a few steps closer, you were able to catch a peek of each one as Chris flipped through them, a giant smile on his face. After the last picture was shown, a rendition of their family (where he even made to include you), Chris made quick work to wrap his arms around the small child.

“These are amazing bud! Thank you so much!”

With the compliment, Miles’ face lit up, his grin stretching from ear to ear as he eagerly began telling Chris about all he had missed when he was away. From the school parties to Miles’ almost goals at his soccer games, Chris listened intently, his full attention placed on the young child. With grand gestures, Chris responded back with gusto, making the young child feel as if he was the only person who held Captain America’s heart.

Would seeing Chris do this with your own child really be that bad? You watched as Chris’ entire demeanor changed as he focused on his nephew and you could already envision the love he would have for his own child.

Maybe everything would be okay. As long as Chris was there to be the support you so desperately needed, why worry?

A gentle smile graced your lips as you pictured Chris with your child. No doubt he’d volunteer to help the classes, coach the soccer teams, or direct the next school play. With a chuckle, you looked down, envisioning the man you loved being the father he had always wished to be.

As your thoughts continued to bring an epiphany to the unanswered topic of kids, you didn’t notice Miles run away. You didn’t notice Chris slowly approach you, one eye lifted in confusion at your far off look. His arms then wrapped around your waist, pulling you flush against him. With that, your head snapped up, (e/c) eyes locking with his own.

“You okay there babe?”

You nodded, taking the time to wrap your arms around his neck. The close distance brought his cologne to overwhelm your senses as a soft moan escaped your lips in comfort. With a quick kiss, you took a deep breath and spoke, filling the quiet air of the kitchen.

“I’m ready.”

“I…I don’t understand (y/n). Ready for-?” You didn’t wait for him to finish, wanting to speak your mind about your newly made decision.

“Kids. I’m sorry I took so long but I’m ready now. I mean, if you still want to have a child with me.”

A frown spread across your lips as the fear that Chris changed his mind finally crossed your thoughts. Before you could let the possibility of that sink in though, you were suddenly lifted into the air and spun around. The deep echoes of your husband’s laugh filled the room as he continuously nodded, quickly setting you down to address you once more.  As his large hands cupped your cheeks, your heart stuttered as his blue eyes were now full of unshed tears, slowly beginning to fall as his voice cracked.

“Yes. Yes! I want a baby with you (y/n). Don’t you ever doubt that! Oh my god. Is this really happening? This can’t be real.” You laughed, quickly ending his rambling as your lips quickly collided with his, your hands running through his hair as you finally let your own tears fall. The overwhelming feeling of happiness was strange in comparison to the endless doubt you had recently been struggling against but you accepted the new emotion with open arms, eager to start this new chapter with the man in front of you.

As the kiss deepened, a wolf whistle came from the other room and forced you to pull away with a gasp. Your cheeks now tinted pink, you looked back to see Scott shooting you both a thumbs up before quickly scurrying away from the playful glare his brother shot back.

With the interaction between the brothers, you finally giggled, the sound causing Chris to turn back at you with a huge smile on his face. One of his hands moved to your stomach, no doubt envisioning the hopefully soon future in which his child would soon be where his hand lay.

“Best birthday ever.” With one more small kiss, he suddenly smirked, leaning down to whisper softly in your ear. His words made your blush transform to a deep shade of red while his hands moved to squeeze your ass gently.  He pulled away, the smirk still there as he untangled himself from your grip. He laced his hand with yours as he started to pull you both back to the party and finally spoke once more.

“We’re starting tonight.”

Just a reminder that requests are open! On my page, you can find my rules (there aren't many. I swear!) Also, on my page is also a masterlist if you want to see what I've done in the past. Thanks!

Little Moments

Chris x Reader

Rating: K

Warning: This was made late at night and probably has a bunch of errors! SUPER FLUFFY!

Author’s Note: I don’t know what to write! I thought of this and just went with it...

Plus, I tried experimenting with this story. Hopefully it’s okay! 

In the story, (y/d/n) is older than the gif but I couldn’t resist adding it. This is by far one of my favorites gifs of Chris.

“Daddy! Daddy, look!”

The soft cries of your daughter carried across the lawn as she ran closer towards your husband, the sparkler still held firmly in her hand. Her pigtails bouncing with each step, she finally stopped before him as the sparkler flashed before her blue eyes, highlighting the evident excitement that was found within her widened gaze. With reassurance that Chris was watching, she stepped back, twirling in a circle as the light followed her every move, causing her to squeal in delight at the ‘design’ she had just made.

Of course, her father was quick to join in the laughter, quickly pulling out his phone as he begged her to do it again. With a quick nod, she did, yelling throughout the process that she was trying to make Captain America’s shield. Yet despite the odd scribbles that lit the night from (y/d/n) attempt, Chris only encouraged her, proclaiming with excitement that he could see the star in the middle as she did the final touches. As she stopped, her smile grew at her father’s words. She fidgeted in place as she then asked what she should draw next for everyone to see.

But as Chris quickly put away his phone and began to kneel before her, (y/d/n) shrieked. Tears quickly sprung into her eyes as she watched the sparks reach closer to her skin, waiting for the moment when the once fun object would harm her. Suddenly, with a toss of her hand, she threw it away, letting it hit the grass behind her as she leaped forward into the safe embrace of her father.

Pudgy arms wrapped around his neck as he quickly kissed her head, pulling them both off the ground as he soothed her cries. His hands rubbing her back, he glanced up at you, his eyes flashing with worry and amusement before he softly began to whisper into her ear.

As his heavy steps came closer to the small blanket that you had laid out, he pulled her away, facing her towards your open embrace that she happily took. Her red, white, and blue (or what she liked to call her ‘Captain America’ dress) fanned around her as she sat on your lap, taking the cookie you offered. Her soft sniffles filled the air as she nibbled on the treat, trying to calm her racing heart from what she no doubt thought was a near death experience.

With your arms wrapped tightly around her, you lay your head against your husband’s shoulder, kissing his neck lightly as you spoke softly against his skin. 

“Thank you for doing this.”

Chris laughed, wrapping one arm around your waist to pull the two of you in close before using the other hand to lift your chin up. His lips quickly found yours, reveling in the small moment of peace before your daughter interrupted. With a few quick pecks after, he leaned his forehead against yours, a wide grin on his face as his eyes stayed focused on your panting lips.

“Don’t thank me for spending time with my family. You know there’s no place I’d rather be.”

His words caused your smile to grow, matching his as you both turned towards the impatient little girl that lay between you. With the sparkler incident forgotten, her eyes stayed glued to the sky, surprisingly ignoring the two of you as she waited for the first spark of light to make its way into the dark night. Finally, after a few moments, she huffed, looking back as a pout spread across her lips.

“How much longer mommy?”

“Soon love. Why don’t you blow out the candles while you wait?”

She pulled away from you, leaning over to blow each candle out. Her loud attempts made you laugh as you watched her quickly back away as each candle was out, avoiding the smoke before moving on to the next.

On her hands and knees, she paused before blowing out the last one. A soft fizz sounded behind her as the first bright flame took over the sky, cracking loudly as a burst of green erupted. The candle forgotten, she quickly scrambled to her feet, standing before the blanket as she tilted her head up, watching as green mixed with red, blue, and white to create a sequence of designs.

Leaning over, you blew out the last candle before grasping (y/d/n) in your arms. With quick reassurance that she’d see better, you lay her down between you and Chris, moving to meet her on the ground as she began to point out each new firework. You giggled alongside your daughter as she tried to think of what each one reminded her of. Each circle was different, despite their similarities.

“Mommy, that one’s a beach ball!”

“That one’s a lily pad!”

Soon, Chris and you started naming a few as well, watching with smiles on the both of your faces as your daughter quickly agreed, moving onto the next one before it disappeared.

As the pattern continued, you looked over her head, watching as Chris focused on the small girl as his smile grew wider with every word she said while he nodded along to each proclamation. As you gazed down at your daughter, you couldn’t help but follow Chris’ actions, kissing the side of her head as she began to ramble, the finale of the show sending her into a whirlwind of emotions as she tried to keep up with the excitement.

One hand had found its way over to Chris, squeezing it softly as you closed your eyes, focusing on (y/d/n)’s voice as a silent sigh left your lips.

You couldn’t wait for more memories like this.

Come Back To Me

Chris Evans x Reader

Rating: T

Requested by a wonderful anon

Warning: Edited at 2 a.m. (I really need to stop doing that)

As you sat on the hardwood floor, shaking hands slowly wrapped each frame that once covered your home. Smiles taunted you behind clear glass, contrasting the tear-streaked complexion you currently wore. As each moment of the past was relived through the pictures, your composure grew worse as wet hands ran across each face, tears staining the once perfect setting for those happy times.

Your hair slowly unraveling from its messy bun, you rose, taking the last frame with you to place within the duffel bag that lay on the bed. Yet your unsteady grip finally faltered, the object in your hands falling to the floor. Shattered glass spread across your feet as you watched the frame fall apart, the wood disconnecting to form a pile on the floor, the picture left upside down in the midst of the destruction.

With the new mistake, a sharp cry escaped your lips as a hand flew to your mouth, covering it as if to hold the screams that were begging to be released. Sobs filled the silent air as your feet swiftly trudged through the glass. The pieces that pierced through the skin pushed deeper with each new step you took yet you persisted, letting the pain overwhelm the once peaceful times that you held previously in your hands. But the mix of emotions died down as soon as some of Chris’s last words from that night echoed in your ears, making you now beg for the room to just stay silent.

“Why the hell are we even in this relationship?”

The simple question was filled with harsh promises for the future as Chris didn’t wait for a response. Instead, he slammed the door, letting the sound of his heavy steps echo into the room until he disappeared for what you hoped would not be for good. But as the taxi sped away, carrying your heart along with it, you knew it was the beginning to the end.

This suspicion was only confirmed as the silence continued. Your cell phone remained inactive besides the countless times you had checked for messages. The multiple attempts of an apology were ignored and as you sat beside the lifeless object, a piece of you broke away with each moment that passed, creating a shell that finally crumbled under the pressure. Now, lying amongst the rubble of your relationship, you finally accepted the truth.

He was done with you.

At the repetition of this harsh reality, you screamed, the sound muffled against your hand once more as you collapsed on the bed, curling into a ball in a feeble attempt to heal the pain. The shirt you wore, one that belonged to Chris, rode up slightly as you slowly moved your arms to wrap around your legs, your head resting against bare skin as you begged for this nightmare to end. Begged to have the man who once loved you back into your arms. But he wasn’t here and it only grew worse.

Maybe if you had just given in, agreed to the one thing you promised you would never do, this would have never happened. If you had just accepted the fact that Chris wanted a family and gave him one, you wouldn’t be feeling this way. You’d still have him. Yet despite the overwhelming heartache that came with the punishment for your continual diversion of the topic, you still couldn’t agree to it. Even if it meant losing him, you wouldn’t lose a part of yourself to please a man. Even if the man was the one you were willing to spend the rest of your life with.

Finally accepting the decision you had made from the beginning, your body finally relaxed, a sense of defeat filling your actions as you slowly rose from the bed. With a slow approach, you changed into your own clothes quickly, letting Chris’ favorite blue Henley fall to the floor. The soft fabric seemed to taunt you as you slowly walked away, finally lifting one of the full boxes and heading to the truck that waited outside.

As time passed and the boxes began to increase in the once desolate truck, you sighed as the last box was placed upon the others. With a quick jump to leave the trunk, you quickly slammed the door closed, letting the sound add to your somber mood. With a turn to collect the keys, you kept your head down; hoping for this day to be over so you sleep away what you hoped would be a nightmare.

“You forgot something.” Your head snapped up as you quickly looked up at the man that waited for you at the door, the picture that fell from the broken frame held tightly in his hand.

Chris looked as horrible as you did. With his hair a mess and his clothes disheveled, his eyes frantically searched yours, giving a clear display for the hurt that clearly mirrored your own. His free hand continually running against his jeans, he moved one step closer, waiting for you to say anything about his impromptu return.

“Thanks…” You quickly snatched the picture, carefully tucking it into your pocket while using this excuse to keep your head down. With a small breath, you spoke once more, filling the tense silence before it would all end and you and the truck would disappear.

“Why are you here?”

“I…I shouldn’t have left in the first place.” You froze, your head snapping up at the sudden confession. Frantic eyes searched for any clues you could find within the anxious state of the man in front of you, any sign that your packing was for nothing. Yet the lingering doubt remained and as your teeth dug into your lip, you took a step back before wrapping your arms around your waist.

“You were a week early for filming. I’m sure they didn’t need you just yet. That’s why you’re here.”

“God damn it (y/n). You knew that’s not the reason why I came back.”

His harsh tone forced the tears to once more run down your skin as his concern made the possibility of the what-ifs less far-fetched. With a small confidence beginning to build, you tried to keep calm, letting Chris continue.

“When I left that day…I was angry. I know the whole baby talk was premature but I needed to know that you had the same goals as I did. When you didn’t, it just seemed like a deal breaker at the time. All I could see was a future without a little you or a little me. A little us…and I snapped. I wanted a family. After seeing how great my parents were, I wanted the same thing.” His voice cracked as he spoke the last word, quickly rubbing his eyes before trying to speak again.

“I had thought that was all I wanted but the farther away I got from home, the more I couldn’t imagine doing this with anyone else. When I pictured the family I had been longing to have, I couldn’t see anyone else as their mother. Before you say anything, yes, I know you don’t want kids and I’m ready to accept that. I’m ready to give up that family dream because (y/n)…all I want is you.”

With each word, the sobs you once tried to control had returned, your body shaking under their force. Unconscious steps brought you closer to Chris, giving him the chance to pull you into his arms. His tears hitting your shirt, he cracked, taking a shaky breath while trying to regain his wavering resolve to slowly whisper in your ear.

“I tried to picture my life without you but I couldn’t. How can I live without you being the first thing I see when I wake up? I want to hear your laugh whenever I crack a horrible joke. I want to see your face light up whenever I come home because as tired as I feel on the way back, it all disappears as soon as I can have you in my arms again. As long as I have you, I’m happy. (Y/n), I’ll handle not having a kid as long as I have you through it all.”

It was then that the two of you finally gave in the pain, letting each of you heal the other as you both collapsed into each other’s arms. Chris’ hands quickly moved your head, pressing his lips quickly to yours as if to emphasize the speech he had just made. Instinctively, your hands wound through his hair, pulling him in closer as you deepened the kiss, your body pressing flush against his.

Back in the embrace of your boyfriend, everything felt better. The heartbreak that you once considered to be a new permanent part of your life faded away as you felt your skin against his once more. As you finally pulled away, a small smile graced your lips as your forehead rested against his, watching as his own complexion copied your own. His strong arms holding your hips tight, he laughed, moving to rest his head upon your shoulder.

“I’m not letting you go. You’re stuck with this meatball.” The previous mood slowly becoming a distant memory, you finally laughed, the noise sounding choked but still there. As you quickly nodded, you moved away, wiping your eyes before clearing your throat and speaking. Your hand moving to rest on his cheek, you lifted his head to meet his gaze. 

“I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

Leave Me Be ( Former Steve Rogers x Reader ; Bucky x reader)

Hello people of Tumblr ! I’m Hazel and i’ve been a tumblr user for quite awhile, but i’ve decide to give it a try and post some content. I’ve always love letting my imaginations run wild and then pour them into stories. If not these imaginations can sometimes shift into noises. So this is my first original post and my story. i hope you enjoy and love my idea as much as i do. However, you don’t have to be mean if you don’t like. If you like this story and want me to continue, please please please don’t be shy and feel free to reach out to me because i love connecting with those who enjoy and share the same idea/ content as i do. I was planning on turning this story into many chapters and post them on Wattpad. 

The reason i poured this idea into story is because as silly as it sounds i haven’t been able to move on from Avengers: End Game since Captain America: The Winter Soldier. I love Steve Rogers, I felt in love with him since Captain America : The First Avenger so when i watched End Game in theatre, i was utterly emotional when Steve didn’t come back, and i had to restrain myself from crying. Crying because why threw his friendship and team under the bus just to save his best friend but then eventually left him and also happy that he’d finally get his own happily ever after that he’d been yearning for. 

So i decided what if during those years when Steve lived in the present days, he had a long term relationship but left her because of the fairytale he had always wanted. I know i made it sounds like Steve is very selfish but i’m trying to work with the original story line. I mean where’s the fun in changing the story aight? And also this bish right here is a sucker for hopeless romantic and angsty angst. So if you are like me, i welcome you with open arms :) Personally, i think this is a more realistic reaction towards the situation and i tried to put myself in her shoes and imagine how i’d react when someone i trust with all my heart for so many years leave me just like that. PLEASE DON’T BE MEAN IF YOU DON’T LIKE THIS. 

UPDATE : Chapter 2 has finally been released. XOXO, Hazel. 

Disclaimer: Very angst ( for the author, but maybe not for y’all readers out there); horrible grammatical error. English is definitely not my first language

Characters: Former Stever Rogers x Reader ; Bucky x reader

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Words can’t even describe the ache and the feeling of emptiness in my heart. The sound of rain pitter patter fail to soothe my aching soul and mind. Hands holding the book whilst staring down and eyes scanning at the same sentence repeatedly and still incapable of fathoming it. My mind is fully occupied with all the memories I have spent with him but can’t cease replaying the same scene again.. and again..

First day of everything is always nerve wrecking whether it be school, college, and work…

Groaning internally, today happens to be both, first day of university AND work…

Just my luck...

Both hands trying to balance out the tray which hold beverages that were filled full to the brim. Sighing in annoyance and wondering to myself why on earth they always have to fill it to the brim considering there might be some little spillage and causing nuisance to both customer and the waitress. Maneuvering myself through tables whilst trying to poise the tray. Eyes scouring from one table to another while delivering the refreshments to the designated customers and caught on a sight of a particular man who didn’t seem to belong in this period. His appearance, body language and style were considerably outdated.. Hmm.. That’s a tad too harsh I guess, maybe old-fashioned to say the very least. Adorning in white and brown checkered shirt, covered by a seemingly vintage reddish brown leather jacket, sandy blonde hair parted to the side. Or maybe he was just a vintage avid.

Catching brief glimpses of his face every now and then, when he looked up from his sketch book, he turned out to be a very decent looking man regardless of his outdated fashion. A pair of nicely groomed eyebrow, high nose bridge, prominent and sturdy jawline, and an irresistible pink plump lips. Wrinkles formed between his eyebrows indicating that he was fully engrossed in his sketch.

Walking towards the beverage counter to replace the tray with coffee pitcher to offer refill and my eyes instantly felt upon the table that was occupied by the blonde man considering his coffee mug was desperately in need of refill. However, he seemed to be very oblivious of it. I decided to approach his table.

“Hello sir, would you like me to refill your coffee? “

“Oh! Erhm… sure”, he looked up from his sketch book briefly and etched on the paper was the realistic looking café and vicinity from his outlook.

I couldn’t help but interrupted his train of thought, “that’s a wonderful sketch you did there sir...”

Then he looked up to me, smiled sheepishly and said “erhm.. Thanks, I guess it helps me familiarize with the place. I’m quite new to the area.”

I felt bad for prying even though I didn’t mean to, so I apologized.

“I’m sorry… didn’t mean to pry on your work.”

Then I made the biggest mistake of looking into that pair of ocean blue eyes. There was laced with lost beneath those warm blue eyes as if a part of him was missing.

Those blue eyes…

Those blue eyes feels like home.

It felt like home for 8 years…

Whenever I am feeling low, I look into those eyes and I’d feel at ease.

Now staring into the glass window, I see fat droplets of rain drop sliding down the glass but that perspective gradually distorted into my own reflection. My own pair of eyes staring back at myself. Cold, void, broken and utterly lost. Tears gliding down my cheeks and slowly turning into sobs. How dare he just leave me behind after those 8 years we have been through together and move on with a past phantom whom he came across when collecting those stones. Those 8 years relationships are gone, just like that. Just the thought of that triggers my mind even more. Shoulder shudders from failing to muffle my own cry.

A week has gone by and I am still struggling to get my own shit together…

Shit…

Even such word reminds me so much of him. The thought of saying that word out loud makes me chortle darkly, Steve never fails to retort to those who swear like drunken sailors including me, not that I swear a lot but sometimes it’s more of a force of habit per se. He would always give me the disapproving look with a glint of mischief within those ocean blue eyes whenever those words chortled out of my lips.

A week after Steve left his shits behind, everyone seems to find a way to move on as time passes, everyone but me … and Bucky, his best friend since childhood.

The one he promised till the end of the line…

The one he saved while throwing friendships and teamwork under the bus just so he could save his god damn so called best friend since childhood.

After all those sacrifices he made, he left Bucky just like that.

It boils my blood just the thought it. Even with all those horrendous experiences Bucky had gone through, he handled them surprisingly well. Much better than me. I thought to myself that maybe he’d gotten used to such harsh predicament and reality…

Drying my tears with the edge of my, his, dark blue oversized cardigan sleeve. Head pounding from straining too much tears. Forcing my legs to stand and stripping myself to only thin camisole and panties. Laying upon the cold king size bed in a fetal position, back facing his side of the bed and facing the huge glass window staring into the void.

The feeling of cold, empty bed somehow bring me into tears again. Whimpers slowly turned into chocked sobs … then eventually giving in and bawling my eyes out, heart continues to wrench and shrivel.

Recalling back to those moments where everyone would throw me pity smiles, empathy hugs when walking past them. Clint, the ever wonderful man, offered me to move in with his family because he knew how it felt to lose your other half. But I turned down considering it would be fiddly to live under the same roof with a wholesome family and constantly feeling like a burden to them.

Eventually Bruce encouraged Bucky to move in with me considering Bucky happened to not have a place to stay after he was tracked down and constantly being on the run with Steve and Sam when he was accused of taking the live of the late Wakandan King and being hunted down. Bruce figured we would try to help each other to heal or at least ease the pain considering we were very close to Steve. I wanted to declined, because even looking at Bucky painfully reminds me so much of Steve. But I didn’t have the guts to do so, unlike him. So I agreed half-heartedly and tried to move on.

I didn’t even bother to budge when I heard the soft creaking of door opening, knowing fully well who it is. Heart wrenching sobs slowly subsiding into mere whimper. Footsteps softly padded towards the bed, then the bed dipping next to me. Bucky’s human arm carefully and protectively enclosed over my waist, chin rested upon my head, chest pressed against my back, his umpteen attempts within this week trying to soothe my gnawing pain in my heart.

“H-h-he’s not coming back, is he? Did that prick even try second guessing his decisions?” I whispered, still trying to muster up all the strength that’s left in every fibre of my body, tears wetting my pillow.  

“I’m sorry, Doll… “

Doll… even the pet name reminded me of Steve, he would sometimes call me Doll, but Sweetheart more often than not.

“I tried talking some sense into him, but he was very adamant of his decision. That punk…I’m really sorry…” he murmured softly, his voice tinted with despair.

“Doll… tell me what to do… I can’t bear seeing you breaking apart like this and I am running out of ways to numb your pain…” nose buried in my hair, inhaling while tightening his hold over my miniscule body.

A pregnant pause lingered before sucking in as much air as if my life depends on it whilst sniffling.

“I wish I never even met him… If I never knew him, none of this would happen and I wouldn’t be weeping like crazy weakling… Sometimes I wish I was one of you guys, one of the Avengers team, so my mind doesn’t have to constantly wonder off and compare myself with Peggy every night when I sleep next to Steve in this very bed...”

“Doll… don’t-“

“I knew this would happen from the beginning when he told me about the time heist excursion, trekking down the past. And I was right… Sometimes I would caught him by accident looking at Peggy’s picture that’s tucked in his compass but I was trying to be a good partner, so I remained silent, pretended it didn’t happen and dismissed it. But it happened more often when it’s nearing the time travelling mission, as if he was hoping …expectantly… “sighing hopelessly as grief and anger slowly consumed my thought, my voice quivering while tears started to form again, blurring my sight. And so I continued to ramble while Bucky continued to listen attentively.

“I mean who wouldn’t want to be with Peggy? I am certain she such a strong woman in her time, I guess your time as well. Working alongside the opposite gender in the army when female were scrutinized even for voicing their own opinions at that time. One time I tried to beg Tony into recruiting me as part of the team while Steve was at a mission in D.C after I learnt about Peggy …because I know he would be against it and disappointed in me for thinking such way. Alas, Tony hesitantly dismissed me, saying it wasn’t his place to make the decision considering Steve was the Head of the team, the Captain. And he also said Steve would love me regardless of my status as a civilian. I refused to believe him, but what options did I have? Nick Fury would never take me seriously, thinking that it might be merely silly infatuation over Captain America and wouldn’t take matter seriously in the long run. So I thought why not give it a rest for a year or two and maybe eventually I’ll forget about it considering I was only 21, freshly graduated from university a year earlier with a GPA of cum laude, very optimistic with the future laid ahead of me. I figured if I couldn’t be as strong as Peggy maybe I could be smarter than her, so at least I have something to pride on.” My face broke into bitter smile while reminiscing the memory.

“I was 18 when I first met Steve. Freshly graduated from high school and went straight to university. I was such an optimistic kid, head filled with high hopes and dreams. I started working at a local coffee shop in New York on my first day of university, that’s where I met Steve. The way he look at his surrounding with those blue eyes studying his vicinity was very adorable… like a lost puppy. After that encounter, we remained friends … and then close friends… because we decided I was too young for anything other than friendship. So we kept our friendship tight for 2 years. By the time I reached 20, I was eager to be more than friends, I’d constantly left subtle hints here and there, and eventually he got the clue but he insisted he was not the right man for me. He said I was young, beautiful and pure why go for a man like him. I practically burst into tears right then and there due to the rejection and humiliation, so I begged him to at least give me a chance… to prove him wrong…That jerk left me hanging for a week then came back banging on my door in the middle of the night while I was studying for finals, looking like lost puppy with those big blue eyes begging for forgiveness for giving me the cold shoulder.” I chuckled grimly.

“I was so annoyed, angry and ready to give him the boot, but how could I say no to those blue eyes looking like a lost sick puppy. He finally decided to give it a shot and said he did feel the same way from the very beginning ever since we grew closer but had to restrain himself from doing so because he thought it was inappropriate for an old man to chase after a much younger woman. But I didn’t care, I swear I was over moon that day… I couldn’t even focus on my study anymore. Sometimes I wondered to myself whether I coerced him into this relationship or…”

“Doll… stop thinking such way… stop thinking so low of yourself…” Bucky interrupted.

“But…”

“He wouldn’t be coming looking for you in the MIDDLE of the night for nothing… Trust me on this one, doll. I’ve known him since childhood, even better than himself… I’m sure he loved you and just needed a little push, maybe he didn’t feel confident at that time. He could be very self-conscious at times considering of his past self and constant rejection from women…”

The more I walked down the memory lane, the more painful I felt, heart twisted and wrenched.

“H-h-how…how did you deal with it? “

“Deal with what, Doll?”

“The feeling of being given false hope, disappointment… that he promised to be with you till the end of the line…”

“It’s… upsetting.” Bucky hesitated, worry that he might worsen the situation if he continued so he just remain and basking in the silence.

“I think of ending my life sometimes… because I’d rather die than living but suffering a gut-wrenching heartache in a long term…”

“No, Doll. Please don’t…” Bucky shushed in my ear, his embrace tighten even more, cheek pressed against my head.

“I-i-i-it h-h-h-urts, Buck… it hurts…He’s my first love, first kiss and…” my shoulders began to shake, eventually my whole body shuddered from chocking sobs.

“I know, Doll. But I promise you’ll get through it, I promise to be with you every step of the way. We will get through it. I am not going anywhere. I am not going to walk out this door, not until you kick me out because you’re so sick of looking at my face. You have my word, Doll. I am staying.” Bucky tried lulling me to sleep.

I couldn’t care less about anything. The sound of harsh rain was the only thing I could pay attention to, ironically it matched my mood, the more my heart felt torn, the heavier it rained…

Chocking sobs gradually dispersed into soft whimpers. My eyes were heavy, I felt my breath gotten shallow. Eventually, darkness engulfed my sight. Hoping that I would wake up from this nightmare.

Next >>> Chapter 2 

i have a very fluff request for our very beefy ari<33

very much domestic!ari & domestic!reader, doing home chores together, cleaning, organizing, daily grocery shopping, ordering some new clothes, etc, planning meals, planning child friendly abroad holidays, both looking after your new born, looking after dodger, taking dodger on a walk with ari wearing the buckle baby carrier on his bare chest (skin to skin touch) going on a picnic afterwards, playing with your new born & obvs dodger, watching new movies/series together, SELFCARE TOGETHER<3, starting the fire place, both of you doing your baby’s night routine preparing him or her to sleep, cuddling in each other arms, with blankets wrapped around your both talking very lovingly to each other in the moonlight :D

sorry if this is too much🤍

𝐡𝐢! 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐧! 𝐈 𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐠𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐢𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐨𝐫 𝐢𝐟 𝐢𝐭 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐢𝐬 𝐠𝐨𝐨𝐝, 𝐬𝐨 𝐬𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐲 𝐢𝐧 𝐚𝐝𝐯𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐢𝐟 𝐢𝐭 𝐢𝐬𝐧'𝐭! 𝐈 𝐡𝐨𝐩𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐨 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐢𝐭 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐢𝐟 𝐧𝐨𝐭, 𝐈 𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐬𝐦 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤!

summary - just the inside of ari's life with his wife.

gif I use isn’t mine and divider is by @newlips

𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑳𝑰𝑭𝑬 𝑶𝑭 𝑫𝑶𝑴𝑬𝑺𝑻𝑰𝑪 𝑨𝑹𝑰 𝑨𝑵𝑫 𝑯𝑰𝑺 𝑮𝑰𝑹𝑳.

-𝐂𝐋𝐄𝐀𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆-

The sound of music fills the room as the couple move around each other, scrubbing the dishes, mopping and sweeping the floors, and dusting. Ari watches as Y/n is trying to vacuum in areas that are too tight or are blocked by something. Walking over, he lifts the couch, receiving a smile from her as she can reach the dirt underneath. 

They go around cleaning the whole house until it is completely spotless.

-𝐆𝐑𝐎𝐂𝐄𝐑𝐘 𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐏𝐏𝐈𝐍𝐆-

Their food shopping is the best. Ari is always piling food and drinks into the trolley. Making sure your favourites are in there and everything you need for the baby is fully stocked. Half of the time, you tend to lose him, heading down the aisles looking for your tall beefy husband only to find him bounding towards you with a massive grin on his face and his arms stocked full. Ari will always insist on paying, not taking no for an answer. 

You both end up at home with too much food that lasts a long time.

-𝐎𝐑𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐍𝐄𝐖 𝐂𝐋𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐒-

Well… Let’s just say you and Ari had to get a new house with an extremely huge closet. When Ari finds something he thinks would look gorgeous in or wants to see her in, he buys many pieces of clothing in every colour. His favourite is seeing her in sundresses or pretty flowing skirts, always ensuring there are over a hundred of the same item. And when you order new clothes, it’s mostly clothing for your cute baby and the one on the way. Sometimes buying Ari some new clothes as he seems to only buy you things and spending your days bare as you both have kids now wouldn’t be a good idea, and you can never buy yourself clothes, seeing as Ari already bought it for you.

-𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐌𝐄𝐀𝐋𝐒-

You like to be organised, and you have a little list of what meals to have for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Ari finds it adorable, but he’s also grateful when he has to rush off to work, and the food is already prepared and ready to eat. And he notices how less stressed you are when it comes to dinnertime.

-𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐂𝐇𝐈𝐋𝐃-𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐋𝐘 𝐀𝐁𝐑𝐎𝐀𝐃 𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐈𝐃𝐀𝐘𝐒-

You and Ari, make sure to sit down and sort out where you can go. It was a struggle at first from years of not having kids and not planning everything, but you’ve learnt to make a list. Making it easier when it comes to these types of things, Ari still insists on paying for everything, saying that he wants to spoil his family and won’t take no for an answer.

-𝐋𝐎𝐎𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐀𝐅𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐍𝐄𝐖𝐁𝐎𝐑𝐍-

It’s fun but stressful the first time doing it. You both ended up a mess. Tears and laughter were shared. You swore to Ari that you wouldn’t have more kids. But watching Ari hold the child you both created, the love he bears, and how he gently but protectively holds the baby. You’d give him a hundred if it meant you’d get to see this picture again and again.

The crying, dirty diapers and the loss of sleep wasn’t exactly fun, but they both wanted a family, and that’s what they got.

-𝐋𝐎𝐎𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐀𝐅𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐃𝐎𝐃𝐆𝐄𝐑-

You both love him. You and Ari went looking for a dog before you even got pregnant, and you chose to rescue one, and when you both walked in. Dodger instantly connected with Ari and fits well with your little family. While you were pregnant, he was protective, and once you had the child, Dodger was your baby's best friend.

Looking after Dodger isn’t that hard. You guys mostly just play with him, feed him, run around with him and cuddle while watching movies as a family.

-𝐓𝐀𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐃𝐎𝐃𝐆𝐄𝐑 𝐎𝐍 𝐀 𝐖𝐀𝐋𝐊 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐀𝐑𝐈 𝐖𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐀 𝐁𝐔𝐂𝐊𝐋𝐄 𝐁𝐀𝐁𝐘 𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐑 𝐎𝐍 𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐁𝐀𝐑𝐄 𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐒𝐓-

It’s a warm day, and Ari decides to take Dodger for a walk while wearing a buckle baby carrier against his bare chest as he hears skin-to-skin is good for his newborn. Many women tend to stare, and some try to start a conversation by either trying to pat his dog or touch his baby while smiling. Usually, before they can, he snaps and tells them to fuck off as he doesn’t like strangers touching or being near his family.

-𝐆𝐎𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐓𝐎 𝐏𝐈𝐂𝐍𝐈𝐂 𝐀𝐅𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐃𝐒- 

After the long walk with Dodger and getting enough time with his child, he makes his way to the agreed spot for the weekly picnic. He loves to have them as they make you extremely happy, and it’s one of those times he can appreciate you in one of the sundresses he spoils you with. You all have a feast while enjoying nature, photos are taken with a polaroid camera, and many memories are made there.

-𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐘𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐍𝐄𝐖𝐁𝐎𝐑𝐍 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐃𝐎𝐃𝐆𝐄𝐑-

On days off, you all go to the playroom, outside or the lounge room and sometimes your baby is in the mood to play, and they love it when you all get down and pretend with them, especially when Dodger comes and licks their face, coming around and playing all the games you are.

-𝐖𝐀𝐓𝐂𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐍𝐄𝐖 𝐌𝐎𝐕𝐈𝐄𝐒/𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒 𝐓𝐎𝐆𝐄𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑-

You and Ari set a movie night, mainly so you don’t watch something without the other. You grab the snacks and set up a table, grabbing all the blankets and pillows. Snuggling up on the couch, wearing your pyjamas and ensuring you and everyone are comfortable. Sometimes Ari builds a fort, and it makes your kids happy, they invite you guys in but not without your fake money, and you all watch the newest Disney.

-𝐒𝐄𝐋𝐅𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐄 𝐓𝐎𝐆𝐄𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑-

Well, Ari was the one who got you into self-care. You only used to do a small amount, sometimes too lazy to do anything, but Ari decided he wanted to do what he saw others doing, saying it looked cute and made you both closer. He enjoys applying everything on you, you repay him by doing the same with him, and he’s even bought baby/child safe self-care products, even something for Dodger, so he doesn’t feel left out. 

You both do all the other self-care things he’s seen, and it’s become one of your favourite things to do together.

-𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐅𝐈𝐑𝐄𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐂𝐄-

This is Ari’s task, and he enjoys doing it. The warmth entering his body when he does and watching his family also feel that warmth. He likes to go out and cut for the wood, come back and light it, and it’s become a sort of enjoyment.

-𝐁𝐎𝐓𝐇 𝐃𝐎𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐁𝐀𝐁𝐘𝐒 𝐍𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐄, 𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐌 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐁𝐄𝐃-

You and Ari take turns reading your kids a bedtime story and making funny impressions and voices for the characters. You both make sure their nightlight is plugged in and on. You’ll check under the bed and in the closet for the pretend monsters they see, but always tell them that while mummy and daddy are around, no monster could get them. You’ll help them take a bath, wash their hair with the best-smelling shampoo and conditioner, helping them brush their teeth and warm some milk for them as it helps them sleep. 

You and Ari came up with an idea of placing nightlight footprints on the floor if they need to use the potty and want to feel like a big kid for once. 

-𝐂𝐔𝐃𝐃𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐈𝐍 𝐄𝐀𝐂𝐇 𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑'𝐒 𝐀𝐑𝐌𝐒 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐁𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐊𝐄𝐓𝐒 𝐖𝐑𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐄𝐃 𝐀𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐃 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐁𝐎𝐓𝐇 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐓𝐀𝐋𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐘 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐋𝐘 𝐓𝐎 𝐄𝐀𝐂𝐇 𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐈𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐌𝐎𝐎𝐍𝐋𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓-

This one is big, and sometimes when the kids have gone to bed, and you and Ari haven’t had your weekly date night, you make this your date night. You pack a small basket full of savoury and sweet foods and some wine that you save for these exact nights. 

When the moon is full, you and Ari head outside, your backyard big enough to feel like you aren’t home. Ari finds the perfect spot before setting down blankets and pillows, a small light in the middle of you, chatting away, sharing laughs and eating while looking up at the stars. When the food is gone and your stomachs are full, you both wrap yourselves in each other's arms and whisper sweet nothings. You would look into each other’s eyes and just tell each other how much you love them.

Being so thankful and happy that they chose you and gave you such a wonderful life and the most adorable kids anyone could ask for, and the best dog in the world. 

thank you for reading!

feedback and reblogs are greatly appreciated.