Colm Fahey - Tumblr Posts
Colm Fahey would adopt the Crows if he could
We as a fandom do not talk enough about how Jesper once bleached a swear word into his father's jurda field in all caps because he was bored.
All of Kaz's interactions with Colm are so incredible to me. Every single conversation is just:
Colm: Whatcha working on kiddo?
Kaz: I'm going to tear down two of the most powerful men in the city and grind them into dust beneath my heel. Their kingdoms of gold will turn to ash, and they'll spend the rest of their days regretting having ever crossed me.
Colm, who just came to check on his son and is way too tired to be dealing with this: ...that sounds fun. Have you had lunch?
And the father of the year award goes to…
COLM FAHEY!
… an honest, law-abiding farmer from Novyi Zem for supporting and loving his son even after he became a lying criminal who gambled everything away his father worked his entire life for AND also for adopting his 5 murderous gangster friends.
the crows are so much funnier than the fandom give them credit for
here are just SOME of the funniest moments throughout the books
“….you can find your way to Ravka or Matthias’ grandmother’s house for all i care” “leave my grandmother out of this”
obviously the ghost scene
pay someone to pay someone to pay someone to
“you speak Fjerdan about as well as i speak moose” “moose is probably your native tongue”
‘Had they blown up the lab? Kaz had definitely NOT told them to blow up the lab’
The deadpan ‘He had not been shot’
Kaz trying to justify his decision if bringing Wylan along to the rest of the crows: “ i told you, ✨hidden depths✨” “see Jesper, ✨marketable skillz✨”
‘“You all look so young, where are your parents?” Wylan and Jesper burst out laughing’
“This many people having fun in one place might have shocked the Fjerdan right out of you”
“I.Should.Let.You.Die”
Nina trying to bring Kaz back: “The Ice Court, remember? 3 million kruge?” Kaz’s eyes cleared. “4 million”
“You couldn’t look guiltier if you were performing the role of Thief #3 in a penny play on East Stave”
“Who wants to buy i coat in the dead on night?” “Tourists”
“Tiny and Ferocious, just like you”
“Unless you have a unicorn for him to ride away on, there is no scenario that guarantees Kuwei’s safety”
‘They could fake a pregnancy. They couldn’t fake an actual birth. Or maybe they could, he wouldn’t put anything past Kaz at this point”
“He has a very soothing baritone”
‘“I’d prefer a pair of sable-lined swimming trunks, but we can’t always get what we want” A furrow appeared between Kuwei’s brows. His understanding of Kerch had apparently been reached and surpassed’
The Wyvil
Matthias thinking they should just let Nina and Jesper flirt the entirety of Ketterdam into submission
That MASTERPIECE of a scene where Jesper and Kaz have a random petty fistfight, and all the other crows literally move out of the way, and then when Wylan tries to get someone to stop them they just shrug and go ‘I mean they aren’t using their weapons let them fight it out’ and THEN Colm coming him and scolding them and both of them IMMEDIATELY stopping
“Whatever you say, Llewelyn”
Nina’s singing
Wylan and Kaz falling through the ceiling onto Van Eck’s dinner party will ALWAYS be iconic
Kaz’s chapters in general are absolutely HILARIOUS, but my personal favorite is when he’s depending on Matthias Not Betraying them, and he thinks something like this:
‘Either he was right and Matthias’ feeling for Nina would prove enough, or Kaz was about to pay for all those talking tree jokes’
The talking tree jokes in question
The initiation ceremony where the tree teaches you the secret handshake
‘His first thought was that this boy had the most beautiful lips he’d ever seen, and his second was that he was probably about to die’ Wylan honey we’ve got to talk about your priorities
“Is it that bad?” “No, you just have really ugly feet”
That scene at the start of Six of Crows where Van Eck has Kaz tied to a chair and is explaining what he needs, and then is explaining why he needs Kaz specifically, talking about how his De Kappel painting was stolen which is a really impressive feat, while Kaz is vehemently denying that he had anything to do with it although it was obviously him
Wylan being passive aggressive while Jesper is trailing after him trying to apologize for the Kuwei thing
“Can’t we just enter as performers? I hear Wylan really kills it on the flute”
Inej getting Nina’s cookie jar after she gets back and Jesper being offended that he didn’t get to take some
Nina making fun of Kaz’s haircut
“Is my tie straight?”
That’s all I can think of for now, i’m sure there’s more so if you think of something feel free to add on
Can't stop thinking about Wylan and Colm.
Thinking about how Colm sees this terrified but vengeful child willing to take beating after beatings just to prove a point to others. Beatings that were ordered by Van Eck, his father.
Thinking about how if he was in on the plan, he couldn't do anything to help and had to wait. Or if he wasn't in on it had to watch this child be kidnapped from his grasp. Maybe it felt like loosing Aditi all over again.
Thinking about how after the auction, after Matthias's funeral where time seems to stop, how these children seemed so small inside this mansion. How a child was suppose to take over a whole business instead of—well being a child.
Thinking how Wylan learns he can talk to Colm without any fears of being ridiculed, how he can mess up, or even come to him for advice.
Maybe he asks Colm for help on tying a tie, or while visting to Noyi Zem, he asks him Jespers favorite meal, and if he could help preapre it for him.
Or even how Jesper is busy one day in the farm, and Wylan comes to Colm asking if he could review this document for him without a second thought.
Thinking about how Wylan finally has a father figure that doesn't care he can't read. Just that he's making Jesper laugh and smile for the first time in years again, and thats all Colm ever wanted.
SOC and CK spoilers!!
And he thinks of Jesper as a brother to the point where he accidentally called him Jordie and even went so far as to make Colm’s alias Jordie’s middle and last name🥲
This post literally made my day!!!
I am bored, let´s just see this images of Stitch as Six Of Crows characters
Matthias
Jesper
Wylan & Jan
Inej
Nina
Kuwei
Colm
Alys
Dunyasha
Kaz
"Jesper, go get us some breakfast. Inej and Nina are getting cranky."
Jesper scowls, looking over at Kaz. "Why me?" he whines. Kaz gives him a cutting look. "Because your the only one lazing ass around here while the others are working."
"Fine, but I'm getting it from Olsen's, not Frits."
Kaz turns, incredulous. "No the fuck you're not. Olsen's taste like Ash. I don't even know how they're up, Just walk the extra two miles and get some good food." Jesper turns to him "Nuh-uh, it's so far away, and you had me on scouting duty all of last night, my legs are sore!"
"Well your dad bought you a wagon for a reason, go use it!"
Jesper motions with his hands, indicating the parking area. "It's banged up! Dad will never fix the wheel just so I can avoid some exercise."
Kaz glares at him. "I'm not getting anybody else to do it. Go get the damn wagon, jesper."
Jesper scoffs, sticking his nose in the air. "Fine, I'll go, but only if *you* ask dad for the wagon. He'll never fix it for me."
Kaz scowls at jesper, swings his legs over the chair and stalks over to Colm. He starts, "Excuse me, Colm, I just wanted to know if you could fix the wagon so Jesper and I could go get some breakfast? The shop's pretty far away from here, and we don't want to walk all the way over there." He adjusts his hands in his pockets, and looks at Colm. The farmer scratches the back of his head, looking hesitant. "You two boys are young, 'm sure you could muster up enough energy to walk a bit for some food." Kaz looks at Colm, forcing a sense of human in his eyes, "Please? We really don't want to walk today."
Colm looks up at him, surprised. ("Why is he surprised?" Kaz thinks) "I mean-yeah, if you insist, I could just fix it, give-give me a minute and it'll be done." He saunters over to the wagon, shooting jesper a look he couldn't quite identify on the way.
Kaz turns to find Jesper gaping at him, and he snaps, "What?"
Jesper motions uselessly, "You just-what?"
Kaz runs a hand across his hat, smoothing it out. "You just have to be polite, Jesper. Ever heard of it?"
I have this headcanon that Kaz actually has really good puppy dog eyes but bc the only people he ever used them on were Jordie or his dad, the crows have never seen them, until he accidentally uses them on Colm
I can’t think of the context this would happen under (if you have ideas for this let me know) but I imagine Colm being shocked and appalled his son did not warn him about this!!!! Jesper told him to watch out for his bf’s puppy dog eyes but not his best friends!!! He is betrayed! And no matter how many times Jesper tries to tell him he didn’t know, his father refuses to believe him.
and Kaz completely unaware of what he just did, is absolutely confused why Mr. Fahey is freaking out so badly about him saying please, maybe he’s not as polite to him as he thought he was, he should work on that.
(the eyes also work on Inej’s parents and Marya.)