Depression Struggles - Tumblr Posts
My year in review
181. Thriving
If you or someone you know is struggling with thoughts of hurting yourself there are numbers you can call and people you can talk too, google numbers for your country, province, state, city, town. If the line is busy try another number until one answers! Many are free to call! Sometimes just getting through that moment can lead to you getting through the next hour, night, day, week, month, year. Sometimes I just needed a reason to keep going even if it sounded or felt silly like "I need to see the season finale of (favorite show) or finish reading that book, story etc or because my cats need me.
Sometimes it's the little things that keep you alive
Depression Solutions
Me: Ah yes. If I work on the story I've been writing for 2 years, I may feel better and productive. Also Me: Fuck that I will just start a tumblr page.
31 Days of Halloween Writing Challenge#2
It had been 200 years since Raphael had felt love. He mostly stayed in his castle, letting the world pass him by. His cape had holes in it and he got his blood from the rats that had infested. He never wanted to be a vampire and always saw it as a curse.
That is, until he met Sophie. The girl was an elementary schooler who had died during a storm on her way home from school. She was hung and still doesn't know who her assailant is. She had to watch her parents cry at her funeral. After, she wandered the streets until she found Raphael's house where she felt she could cry with no one around. She didn't realize Raphael was there.
"Why are you crying?" Raphael asks, slowly approaching the young ghost. She flinches when she hears his voice. She was still wearing her school uniform, her facial features still intact as she hasn't forgotten them yet.
"I am dead. I barely lived and had to watch my parents cry at my funeral. I just wanted to help the poor ghost in the park and I don't even believe in ghosts!" Sophie cries to the first person to talk to her in weeks.
"Well I am forever alive with no one to talk too. If I get close to someone, I know they will die before me and I will grieve again. Living forever is so lonely." Raphael says, tears welled up in his eyes and his fangs made little cuts in his mouth. The young man was tanned and yet pale somehow, like he is sick forever.
"Well, I could be your friend," Sophie sheepishly says.
"One day you may move on too and I couldn't bear that!" Raphael cries.
Sophie, almost regretting her choice of creepy house to cry in, tries to pat the poor vampire but her hand goes right through him.
"I am just a kid. I don't even know what unfinished business I could have. I doubt I will leave so soon or suddenly. You're the first person I have spoken too. The first to acknowledge that I am here. Please let me stay!" The poor ghost couldn't help but miss her parents, just as Raphael missed his own family.
"okay little girl. You remind me of my daughter and it's been decades since I've spoken to anyone. I will let you stay."
So that's how they spent their days, talking to each other, and giving advice...that is for now...
31 Days of Halloween Writing Challenge (makeup)
The years went by and Sophie had stopped crying. Raphael treated her like a daughter and she saw him as a fun uncle. The two became inseparable...mostly because they both didn't want to leave the house. Sophie did convince him to drink human blood and he convinced her to go see her parents.
As the years progressed, Raphael kept growing stronger now that he was eating properly. Sophie however, was becoming more depressed. Her parents were growing older, they had another child, Sophie's half sibling. She got to see them move on with their lives.
Sophie started to show up to her brother's room. She would talk to him, help him out when he was scared, and make funny faces at him but for some reason that only made him cry.
"Don't cry! I just want to make sure you get to stay with mom and dad longer than me." She would coo to him, but she would make sure to hide whenever her parents came in.
When the boy was around 6, he started communicating with her. He could see her! The two became fast friends. They played house, he showed her the newest video games, and she helped him with what to wear everyday.
Eventually, she wanted him to meet Raphael. So she kept watch and had him sneak out of the house...
Day 4 of 31 days of Halloween
The dark night shrouded the young boy in a cold blanket. He remembered to put on his sneakers but he wasn't good at tying the laces yet and the shoes flopped off and on his foot with every step, laces trailing behind.
Sophie didn't tell Raphael that they would be visiting or even that she had a brother. She thought it would be the best surprise! She knew he would love him just as much as she did. The young boy and ghost crossed the city, sometimes having to reroute because she forgot he can't just float over fences and rivers.
Though the boy was scared, she kept reassuring him and because he didn't know where they were, he followed. Eventually, they found their way to the old abandoned house that Raphael called home. At night, it was even scarier. The vines hung from the roof, the gargoyles out front were snarling, and the spikes on the roof made it look like an abandoned church.
The boy cautiously walked up the concrete steps, careful to avoid tripping on the moss that covered the sloping cliffs. He made his way up to the hulking doors and hit them as hard as he could, but not a sound was heard. He tried again. BANG. The sound echoed through the building.
"I will just go get him. He must be sleeping" Sophie says, sliding through the tall mahogany doors with ease. She finds him sitting in the study, drinking the blood of a delivery man.
"Raphael! I came to visit and I brought a friend so please come to the door. He can't get in."
"you brought others here without permission?" He races to the front and opens the door to see the slip of a thing that Sophie calls her brother. His hair was curly and long, his ribs poking through his skin under his small shirt. His hooded eyes stared at the vampire with only a mild interest.
"Are you Sophie's friend?" The boy squeaked out. The vampire bared his fangs and invited the boy inside...